


False Start

by Mishiman



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: (kind of), Anal Play, BDSM, F/M, Fanart, Femdom, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, No Condoms, POLYTHIEVES - Freeform, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Polyamory, Recovery, Threesome - F/M/M, Underage Drinking, Voyeurism, but there is birth control so there's that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-05 09:25:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 36
Words: 219,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12791595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mishiman/pseuds/Mishiman
Summary: How do you start dating someone if they don't know how to send or receive signals? Akira just needs to help Mishima feel a little more comfortable. Naturally, Ann wingmans like a boss. At least, until she manages to land herself right in the thick of it.Love tends to complicate things. So does Ryuji.Chapter 31 is illustrated.Chapter 36 - Dating. Friend shit. "You don't have to."





	1. Glamour shot. Too much too soon. Coffee in the dark.

Akira tuned out Kawakami again, for the umpteenth time, as he stared across the rows of desks at Mishima. His head was bent over his assignment papers, trying to appear studious and avoid detection as he scrolled stealthily on the phone in his lap. Hard at work on the Phantom Thieves forum as always, Akira guessed. As he watched, Mishima pursed his lips for a moment and then reached up to brush a lock of dark hair behind his ear. He had cute ears, Akira decided.

  
The bell rang to signal the end of the day, and he should have looked away - it would have been only natural to look away as every other student leapt to their feet to pack up, but... he found that as Mishima stood and turned away to gather his belongings, he couldn't help but check him out. Mishima was short and slender but not stick thin; his torso narrowed at the waist and flared out a little at his hips, and as Akira continued to stare, Mishima bent forward to zip up his bag. Why hadn't he noticed sooner how nicely Mishima's thighs and ass filled out his plaid uniform pants? Why hadn't he noticed _him_ sooner? He -

Suddenly Ann, seated in front of him, reached across his desk and waved both hands in his field of vision. "Akiraaaaaa..."

  
He realized how obnoxiously he'd been staring and returned to himself. The grin on his face felt stupid even to him. "Uh, sorry. You were saying?"

  
"Doesn't matter. A new and more important topic of conversation has presented itself!" She whipped out her phone and tapped at it furiously until his own phone buzzed in his pocket, waking up Morgana in the desk in front of him.

  
Akira snorted. "Are you serious? I'm sitting right next to you. That's Futaba's shtick."

  
"Check your phone, dumbass."

  
He did.

  
ANN: somebody has a cruuuuush  
AKIRA: Can't possibly imagine who you mean.  
ANN: I think you know exactly who I mean  
ANN: can't believe he hasn't noticed you mooning over him all day

  
Akira quirked his lip at her unintentional pun but kept his thoughts to himself. He glanced at Mishima one more time before replying to her.

  
AKIRA: I mean, you can't tell me he doesn't have a nice ass.

  
They both glanced up to check said ass out further and caught Mishima's eye, his brow furrowed and the strap of his bag clenched in his fist. He flushed as their eyes met and left the room without looking back.

  
ANN: oh shiiiiiiii  
AKIRA: Oh noooooooo

  
Ann winced at him as they put their phones away. "I think he thought you were glaring at him... you do that sometimes, you know."

  
Akira shrugged. "Resting Bitch Face. Can't help it."

  
"Learn some subtlety then! Girls don't like it when guys gawp at them. Probably boys don't like it either."

  
Akira had to admit she had a point. "What should I do? He really tore out of here."

  
"I dunno, _message_ him? Apologize to him for leering at him like a piece of meat?"

  
Akira pulled out his phone again, scrolling past a few new invitations from various people, until he found Mishima's contact info.

  
AKIRA: Mishima-kun!

  
It took a minute or so for Mishima to answer.

  
MISHIMA: What?

  
Akira breathed a sigh of relief. Ann bounced in her seat, hair flying as she made a mad grab for his phone. Akira held it out of her reach easily."Well?!"

  
"He's not too mad to answer at least. Hang on."

  
Ann sank back into her seat, then closed her notebook. "Well... I do have a shoot. Keep me posted, okay?"

  
Akira promised that he would without looking up, eyes glued to the screen. Morgana made protests that he didn't hear a word of as he left the classroom, leaving the cat no choice but to launch himself into his open bag from the floor, much to the surprise of the handful of students left in the classroom. He somehow made it to the station without noticing his surroundings and leaned against a wall, tapping at the screen. Morgana peeped over his shoulder as he always did, reading along with him.

  
AKIRA: Hey. I'm sorry if it seemed like I was mad at you or something back there.  
MISHIMA: Oh. I didn't think you were mad.  
MISHIMA: Were you talking about me?

  
Akira stared at the screen for a long moment, at a loss for words. He hadn't thought Mishima would be so direct - although, truth be told, he didn't know Mishima very well to begin with. When they spoke nowadays it was Phantom Thieves this, forum post that. He felt his face colour a little as he realized he really did know Mishima in only the most superficial sense, eyes crawling over him in class without an inkling of what type of person he was on the inside. He knew he could do better than that. _Be_ better than that.

  
AKIRA: It's true. I was.  
AKIRA: Dick move. I'm sorry. I was telling Ann that I wanted to get to know you better.

  
That was not _exactly_ the whole truth about what he had been telling Ann, but the spirit of the truth would have to do.

  
Mishima seemed to be thinking hard about how to respond. Finally, after Akira had boarded the train, his phone buzzed again.

  
MISHIMA: I guess if we knew each other better it might help me handle Phantom Thieves PR more efficiently.  
AKIRA: That's not really what I meant.  
AKIRA: Like what kind of movies do you like? Do you have any siblings? Stuff like that.  
MISHIMA: That stuff's boring.  
AKIRA: Tell me! I'll tell you anything you wanna know too.

  
He arrived home at Leblanc and, thankfully, Sojiro didn't seem to need his help today. He spent most of the evening chatting with Mishima about this and that, assuring him over and over that yes, he really wanted to know his favourite food, and no, he didn't think he was boring. Morgana eventually grew tired of being ignored and fell asleep.

  
Mishima sat at the desk in his bedroom, one foot curled beneath him as he tapped at his phone's screen. The tips of his ears were warm and his free hand cupped the side of his face, though it didn't quite cover the huge grin.

  
\----------

  
It was easier to talk to Mishima after that. Akira brought leftover curry for lunch and cajoled him into taking a bite; Mishima's face absolutely lit up as he continued to eat and raved about how good it was, until he realized he'd eaten almost all of it. His face fell and he kept his head down, refusing to look at Akira. "O-oh... sorry Kurusu-kun..."

  
"It's cool. I get to eat this whenever I want."

  
"I'll, I'll buy you some curry pan from downstairs, okay?" He dug frantically in his pockets for his wallet.

  
Akira brought his hand up, faltered for just a second, then settled it on Mishima's shoulder. "Don't worry about it. Seriously. You must've been hungry, huh?" He waited patiently until Mishima raised his face and met his eyes, then smiled, trying to show how much he meant it.

  
It only took a second before Mishima returned it. "Well. Okay then. But I owe you something next time, okay?"

  
Akira found it all too easy to touch Mishima at school and in public after that.

  
The next morning, before the bell rang:

  
"Is that a new haircut?"

  
"Just a trim." Mishima ducked away under his scrutiny, hiding his face until only the top of his head could be seen, and Akira's heart jumped in his chest when he noticed his ears redden. _So cute!_ Without stopping to think about it he brushed his index finger up and down the short bristly hair at the back of Mishima's head.

  
"That feels so cool. I never get my neck buzzed short because my hair covers it anyway. So I don't get to feel that."

  
Mishima laughed nervously, feeling as if every other person in class was staring at him. "Ha... yeah, I guess..." He put a little distance between the two of them, but when Akira looked over the rows at him halfway through class, he could see him still absentmindedly running his fingers over the short hair at the back of his head.

  
A week after that, Akira wandered the halls at lunch, carefully keeping his face impassive as he always did around the cliques of students whispering and giggling about him, until he spotted green sneakers. Mishima was at the vending machine, purchasing a Second Maid. "Hey, Mishima-kun. Can I have a swig of that?"

  
Mishima had already twisted the cap and began drinking as Akira approached. He swallowed audibly. "Geeze, sorry man. I've already got my germs on it. I owe you for curry still, lemme see if I -" He dug for change in his pockets.

  
"Oh, I don't need a new one, that's too much. I just want a sip of yours. Thanks."

  
Akira plucked the drink from his willing hands, tipped his head back, and drank. Mishima was frozen to the spot, eyes latched onto Akira's smooth, pale throat. He seemed to be especially interested in the way the long bottle looked in Akira's fingers, held to his mouth.

  
At last, Akira tipped his head forward again, handing the drink back and swiping the back of his other hand across his lips. He finally noticed the stricken look on Mishima's face; his entire face and neck had flushed red, and his palm was pressed to his mouth, as if he was afraid of letting any sound escape. His dark eyes were always large for his face but right now they were huge, staring at Akira. Or maybe his mouth, specifically.

  
"Are you okay?"

  
Mishima's anxious eyes darted up to his before averting his face to the floor. He nodded silently, hand still over his mouth.

  
It suddenly clicked. Akira ran a hand through his hair in agitation. "Agh, I'm such an idiot. I didn't even stop to think you might have a thing about germs. You practically said you did. I'll buy you a new one. Forgive me." Had he just wrecked everything? _Stupid, stupid, stupid..._

  
Akira was kicking himself as he prepared to feed coins into the machine, so preoccupied that it took him a moment to notice a slight pressure on his arm. Mishima was tugging at his forearm.

  
"It's not a thing. See?" Mishima took a quick slug of his drink to prove it.

  
Akira grinned in relief. "Good. I thought I'd - well, never mind." He trailed off as he studied Mishima's face. The redness was abating, and he began to talk about the Phansite as if nothing had happened, but for a second he could have sworn Mishima looked... stunned. As if his mind was miles away.

  
\----------

  
ANN: welllllll?  
AKIRA: Wellllll what?  
ANN: how is our project coming? you said you'd keep me posted  
AKIRA: Oh, that.  
ANN: oh, that pssht  
ANN: don't gimme that  
AKIRA: It's... really hard to say.  
ANN: AKIRAAAAAAGH  
AKIRA: No, really. I keep sending signals but I don't know if they're being... received?

  
A new thought occurred to him.

  
AKIRA: Do guys in Tokyo touch each other more?  
ANN: wat  
AKIRA: Like, when they're just friends. You've travelled a bit. Do you think guys who are just friends touch each other more here than they do out in the country? Or in other countries?  
ANN: ???  
AKIRA: Maybe this is just a regional differences thing. I've been moving forward the way I would have back home, or the way I would with a girl, but maybe I need to step it up.  
ANN: uh, be careful tho. don't scare him either  
AKIRA: Do you think the bookstore would have something about how to woo Tokyo guys, or

  
Ann had already flung her phone onto her bed, cackling with laughter over her poor idiot friend.

  
\----------

  
AKIRA: Hey, how's it going?  
MISHIMA: Hi!  
MISHIMA: Not bad. I can't believe how busy the forum's gotten.  
MISHIMA: What's up?  
AKIRA: Was wondering if you're free tomorrow after school?

  
The reply came lightning quick.

  
MISHIMA: Yeah!  
MISHIMA: I mean, I think I've earned a break from Phansite work.  
MISHIMA: Is this about the latest request from the forums?  
AKIRA: Nah, not work-related this time. Let's go eat at the diner. Lemme pay for you this time.  
MISHIMA: Aw, you don't have to do that. I still owe you too.  >_>  
AKIRA: I wanna take you out though!

  
Mishima's thumbs froze over his phone's screen. What did _that_ mean? Akira didn't mean what he thought he did, did he? Not possible. He was just being nice. After all, Mishima had to admit that he'd had little experience with friendships this close, and even less with romantic relationships of any kind. He was getting spooked over nothing. Akira just wanted to treat him to a meal, not take him out on a date. Now Mishima just had to make some lighthearted remark to show he knew how things were going to go.

  
MISHIMA: I can't turn down an offer like that. No funny business though!

  
As soon as his thumb hit send, he slammed his face into his hands and groaned, wishing he could take it back. _Smooth. Very smooth._ _Why would you think a joke like that was a good idea?_ He held his breath as he waited for Akira to retract the invitation. _Friendship = trashed. Good job._

  
AKIRA: Awesome, just stick around after class then. Be hungry!

  
Mishima peeked at the screen from between his fingers. Had Akira even read his stupid remark? Did he just skim his chat messages to him out of habit or had he chosen to be kind and ignore Mishima's awkwardness, like he usually did? He gulped. Chatting was one thing, and trying to figure out how to control his facial expressions at school when he was around Akira was another. How the hell was dinner at the diner in an intimate booth going to go? Mishima clenched his fists and tried to put the matter out of his mind as he returned to browsing the Phansite.

  
\----------

  
Mishima jingled the coins in his pocket as he trudged up the steps to school. Dinner after school with Akira should have been something to look forward to at the end of another boring Saturday. Instead his heart raced and a cold sweat broke out on his forehead. But he had come prepared! His wallet was full and his mind was resolute! He wouldn't let his awkwardness ruin one of the only good things he had going right now. He had to protect his friendship with Akira at all costs. Insisting on paying for his own meal would set things straight: if not for Akira, then at least for himself. Head down, he shoved through the doors and disappeared down the corridor.

  
Ann and Akira watched Mishima march by from their spot next to the school entrance, unnoticed. Morgana perched on Akira's shoulder, no longer caring who saw him at school. Kawakami seemed to be pulling strings behind the scenes, ensuring the other faculty turned a blind eye when it came to Akira's various minor infractions. Minor infractions like making smoke bombs in class, or keeping a mouthy cat in his desk every day.

  
Ann's eyes sparkled as she turned to Akira, keeping her voice low despite her excitement. "Looks like he's got it bad if you ask me!" She stopped to consider, her voice faltering. "Or maybe he's mad... freaked out? Okay, I guess I see what you mean. He's harder to read than I thought."

  
Akira spread his hands in exasperation. "Right?! That's what I keep telling you. But if I just go out and say it I think I'd scare him off."

  
"Yeah..." She looked lost in thought. "Well, I mean, today's the day if ever there was one. It's almost the weekend. I bet he feels on edge around these vultures," she muttered, gesturing with her chin at either the huddled groups of gossiping students in the hallway or the school at large; Akira couldn't tell. "Can't blame him. Private booth at the diner should help."

  
She picked up her bag and began to head to class, abruptly spinning on her heel to face Akira again as a new thought struck. "Go easy on him though!" She leaned forward to whisper. "I don't think he's got too many other people in his life, you know what I mean? Just the impression I get. Be nice. "

  
"What?! When am I not nice?!"

  
Morgana piped up from his shoulder. "Repeatedly reneging on your sushi promise ring a bell? 'Button mashing' my head on the train for _no reason?_ Refusing to let me -"

  
Akira cut him off neatly before the diatribe could continue. "That reminds me. How would you like to spend the night at Ann's today?"

  
The cat bristled at being so rudely interrupted, but couldn't hide his toothy grin. "W-well, if a lady requests my presence, it would hardly be gentlemanly to turn her down... And I am nothing if not a gentleman." His eyes sparkled. "Lady Ann, this won't cause trouble with your parents, will it? Having a boy in your room?"

  
She flapped her hand. "Nah. Out of the country for a few more weeks. Hop aboard, amigo." She spread the zippered opening of her bag and Morgana leapt neatly inside from Akira's shoulder, nestling down with a purr. She and Akira traded eye rolls and headed to class.

  
\----------

  
AKIRA: He's in the bathroom again.  
ANN: gross lol  
AKIRA: Nah, not that. I think he's just nervous.  
ANN: oh is he hiding  
ANN: awwwww  
ANN: poor Mishima  
ANN: BE NICE OKAY  
AKIRA: WHEN AM I NOT NICE?!

  
He was scrolling through emojis, looking for the perfect indignant cat face to send, when Mishima finally returned to the table, looking anxious. Akira stuck his phone in his pocket again, not wanting to appear rude. "Everything okay?"

  
"Oh, ha, yeah. Just wanted to wash my hands before we ate!" Mishima wore a huge false grin. His face would crack if he stretched it any wider.

  
"Order whatever you want. I've got fat stacks of part-timer cash."

  
Mishima snickered. "Yeah, I think I saw you behind the counter at the convenience store once or twice. Those uniforms, man..."

  
"What, you don't think pink polka dots suit me? Ann told me they really bring out my eyes." Akira gave him his best doe eyes, fluttering his eyelashes while he gazed soulfully at Mishima over his glasses.

  
Mishima actually choked on his water, sputtering, "Y-you gotta warn me before you do that!" as he cracked up. "Actually, waitwaitwait -" He whipped out his phone and held it up. "Okay, now do it again - "

  
He carefully trained the camera on Akira but just as he took the picture, Akira swiftly switched to a kissy face and stuck his fingers out into a peace sign.

  
"Aw, what?" Mishima was laughing again. "What are you, a girl?" They both leaned over the table to peer at the result. Akira's kissy face was captured clearly but his fingers in a V were nothing more than a blur.

  
"Too fast for ya. Bet you can't outdo my glamour shot."

  
Mishima grinned again, but this time it was the real deal. "Is that a challenge?!"

  
Things were more comfortable after that. Akira feigned ignorance of the diner's menu, despite having eaten there at least a dozen times, and asked Mishima to order for him. After much protesting, stammering, and intense studying of the menu, he finally picked out omurice for the two of them. Akira assured him that he loved omurice, it was his second favourite, how could he have missed it when he looked at the menu the first time? _Probably laying it on a little thick._ But Mishima just beamed wider than ever. Akira couldn't help but feel a little pinprick of doubt. He wanted Mishima to feel at ease with him, maybe give him a chance to relax since things were so tense for him at school. But he didn't want to pressure him either. He pictured himself marching up to Mishima and simply blurting out, "I like boys. Do you like boys?" and, as awkward as it would be, it would make things a hell of a lot simpler. Even more to the point: "I like you. Do you like me?" But he knew things didn't work that way for Mishima, and he would just have to rise to the challenge.

  
As they finished eating, Akira laid out enough cash to pay for both their meals on the table and started heading toward the door. Mishima glanced at the amount to make sure they were squared up but was caught up in comparing their photos and left with his wallet still full, his resolution to pay for his own meal forgotten.

  
\----------

  
Mishima was still teasing Akira about his "glamour shot" as he left the diner ahead of him, zoned out and not really looking where he was going until he was met with a rude awakening - a sheet of cold water. Torrential rain drove down the back of his neck and plastered his spiky hair to his head as he squeaked back at Akira, "Run for cover!"

  
Akira sprinted after him, holding his school bag above his head and feeling thankful for his uniform blazer. Mishima was less fortunate, wearing only his thin turtleneck as he usually did and having nothing to cover his head with, since he'd decided to leave his bag at school. He finally found refuge beneath an awning across the street from the diner and gestured wildly for Akira to join him. "C'mon man!"

  
When Akira got there he found Mishima doing a passable impression of a drowned rat. His green sneakers squelched as he maneuvered around puddles and struggled to wring out his shirt. Even standing under cover, rivulets coursed down his neck and forehead from his soaked hair. To cap it off, his white shirt had taken on so much water that it had gone quite transparent in places. Akira couldn't help but rub the back of his neck awkwardly and look away as he felt his face heat up. _Didn't expect to find out the colour of your nipples THIS soon..._

  
"Oh daaaarn, we're going to have to wait it out. How terrible..." Akira drawled sardonically, trying to surreptitiously see a little more of him in his dishevelled state. He might not get to see him again like this anytime soon, after all.

  
"Aaaaaagh..." Mishima complained. "Way to ruin my day, rain!" He stuck both hands into his waterlogged hair and tried to spike it back up, flinging fat droplets every which way; then he rubbed his hands briskly up and down his upper arms, paying Akira little attention as he watched the downpour hit the street. No sign of letting up so far.

  
Akira saw his chance and took it, sidling closer one step at a time. "Cold?"

  
"Uh huh. My own dumb fault for forgetting an umbrella. Again."

  
He stood just one step behind, and the next time he spoke, Akira's voice came from over Mishima's shoulder. "I'm not. Cold, I mean."

  
From less than a foot away he sensed Mishima's entire body stiffen for a moment as he finally realized their proximity. Akira swallowed thickly, filled with doubt - _do I go for it or will I just ruin it?_ \- until he couldn't stand it any longer. "Want me to warm you up?" As he said it, he closed the gap. He stood less than an inch behind him, the right side of his chest and shoulder, almost dry, nearly touching the left side of Mishima's back, still soaked with water. Mishima was so much shorter than him that Akira had to stoop a little to bring his lips to his ear as he whispered, "Hey, c'mere."

  
There was a long moment where nothing happened. They stood motionless, Akira waiting for Mishima to make his choice, whatever it would be, and Mishima squinching his eyes shut, face turned away. Finally, he released the breath he had been holding and shuffled his feet, moving back almost imperceptibly.

  
Mishima's left shoulder and back rested against Akira's right shoulder and chest, his eyes still scanning the street. He was trembling.

  
Akira bowed his head to Mishima's ear again and whispered again. "... are you shivering?" Mishima made some kind of noncommittal noise that could have meant anything.

  
"Here, just a sec." Akira took a step back for just a moment and returned, pressing his chest against Mishima with the slightest pressure. Something was different.

  
"You're really warm..."

  
"I just unbuttoned my blazer. Better, right? Body heat will warm you up. Through my shirt, anyway."

  
From his vantage point over his shoulder, Akira could see Mishima's eyelashes flutter and his breath hitch, face still turned away. But the angle couldn't hide the way his ears were turning red.

  
Slowly and deliberately, Akira put his arm around him, settling his hand on his shoulder. Heart hammering, he waited for his reaction.

  
Mishima gave him nothing but conflicting signals. His breathing picked up speed and his face turned even further away, staring out at the rain even as his shoulders, millimeter by millimeter, sank back into Akira.

  
_Does he like this? Does he hate it?_ Akira decided communication was the only way to proceed. He tipped his face down to Mishima's ear once more. "Warmer?"

  
But Mishima hadn't been ready for it, and as Akira had moved his mouth closer, Mishima flinched. Akira's lips accidentally brushed the edge of his ear and Mishima felt hot breath tickle his neck. It was hard to hear over the rain, but as Mishima exhaled, something that sounded like a soft moan escaped him.

  
_Ha! I was right!_ "Did you say something?" Akira inquired solicitously, as a satisfied smirk crept across his face.

  
Mishima only covered his face in his hands and shook his head silently, still firmly maintaining contact with his back.

 

_Well, it's now or never..._

  
Akira steeled himself, withdrew the arm wrapped around Mishima, and gently took him by the shoulders, turning him until they were face to face under the awning. He was met with Mishima's face still in his hands, shoulders hunched, looking as if he was expecting to be hit.

  
"Mishima-kun, what are you doing? Lemme see you." He gently pried Mishima's fingers from his face, but couldn't do anything about his eyes, shut tight.

  
"You leave me no choice," he sighed, and leaned close as his mind calculated a mile a minute. A real hug would be too public for Mishima, too obvious. But maybe, if he was quick...

  
Akira brought his hands back up to each of Mishima's shoulders and gently drew him in. One more time, he stooped down to whisper in his ear: "I had fun on our date. Do you want to come by my place to dry off?"

  
Not a peep. No reaction, other than another hitch in Mishima's breathing. _I know what will get you to pay attention to me_ , Akira thought. He closed the last bit of distance and pressed a soft, close-mouthed kiss on the corner of Mishima's lips.

  
It was like kissing a wall. Mishima was frozen, stiff as a board, but his eyes were open now. His dark eyes seemed to fill his face and Akira finally saw that he was truly terrified. Shame crawled through his belly. "O-oh. I thought... I thought you -" Akira stammered.

  
Mishima crossed his arms across his chest, hands on his shoulders, as if to protect himself. "I, I, I like girls. I can't. I'm sorry."

  
As Akira drew back to put space between them, he looked up just in time to witness Mishima's retreat, splashing through the puddles and making a hasty getaway.

  
\----------

  
AKIRA: I wrecked everythingggg  
ANN: what happened?  
ANN: I'm sorry sweetie  
AKIRA: Or I think there was never anything there to wreck in the first place. He told me he likes girls.  
ANN: whaaaa  
AKIRA: I can't believe I misread him so bad.  
ANN: yeah what? that's not the impression I get from him either. like, at all  
ANN: or like, dunno bout liking girls or boys but I def thought he liked YOU at least  
ANN: did you talk about all this at the diner? maybe it was too much too soon  
AKIRA: No, he told me he likes girls after I kissed him outside.  
ANN: whoa, uh. speaking of too much too soon  
AKIRA: You think so?  
ANN: did he even know this was a date? and do you think he's ready to be out? cuz not everybody's down with that like you are  
ANN: like, outside outside? in public? central street? a lot of people from school hang out around there you know  
AKIRA: Oh.  
AKIRA: Oh god. I'm such an idiot. He kept checking the street when we were just standing next to each other too.  
ANN: yeah I think we found the problem  
ANN: but I may have a solution

  
\----------

  
Heart hammering, Mishima finally skidded to a stop at the Shibuya station, trying to ignore the squelching noises his shoes made as he moved. For the fourth time he searched the crowd - no Kurusu - and he breathed a sigh of relief. Then he sank against the concrete wall and cursed himself out.

  
_You're such a fucking idiot. Coward. That was the chance of a lifetime and you blew it._

  
His guts churned and tears began to to blur his vision. _What, now you're gonna cry too? At the goddamn train station? Pathetic._

  
But then he received a chat invite.

 

???: heyyyy Mishima-kun. it's me, Takamaki! ^-^

  
He squinted, not sure if he had read the name right. Ann Takamaki? How had she gotten his number? She had never been cold to him, exactly, but they'd barely exchanged two words the entire time they'd shared a classroom. Worse, he was certain that her friend Shiho Suzui had told her about his role as Kamoshida's messenger boy a few months prior. He had had a part in what that piece of shit had done to her, and now her friend just happened to want to talk to him? He braced himself for what he deserved.

  
MISHIMA: Takamaki-san, hi. How can I help you?

  
Formality was best sometimes. He waited for the conversation to turn to her friend, and what he had let happen to her.

  
ANN: so like hope you don't mind, but Akira gave me your contact info. he just told me what happened

  
_Oh fuck._

  
MISHIMA: Uh  
MISHIMA: What e  
MISHIMA: What exactly did he tell you?  
ANN: he told me enough. told me that you looked upset with him today and you said something about liking girls?

  
He sighed deeply, now seated on the train and headed home. It didn't seem like Takamaki wanted to discuss Suzui, and it didn't sound like Kurusu had given her the full story of what had happened under the awning either. But now he was even more confused. Where was she going with this?

  
MISHIMA: Yes.  
MISHIMA: Yes of course I do.  
MISHIMA: Why would he even tell you that?  
ANN: oh uh dunno  
ANN: haha

  
Several minutes went by after these last cryptic messages from Takamaki, as she typed and typed, or typed and erased and typed some more. He gave up on staring at the screen and was squelching out of the station on his way home by the time her next reply arrived.

  
ANN: okay I dunno how to say this but just listen for a minute? I dunno if you guys had a fight or what but I know he wants to go back to being your friend. he talks about you all the time and he wants the best for you, you know? and while he was talking to me about how you looked upset at the diner we got a great idea!!  
ANN: Mishima-kun, have you ever had a girlfriend?

  
His mind went completely blank.

  
MISHIMA: What?  
ANN: it's a simple question ;P

  
He stuck his phone in his pocket when he finally reached his house, drilled by the downpour the entire way, and murmured, "I'm home" to the empty hallway. He wrestled off his drenched green sneakers and quickly inspected the blisters they'd given him before unceremoniously peeling off his white turtleneck and flinging it into the hamper in his room. Finally, he removed his phone from his pocket, balled up his plaid uniform pants, suspenders and all, and simply threw them in the corner. _Whatever._ Then, stripped down to his green briefs, he cocooned himself in his covers and decided to mope. _What a shitty day._ He returned to his phone, lying on his stomach.

  
ANN: I'm not trying to make fun of you or smth

  
What did she mean then? Did she and Kurusu just gossip about his lack of a love life all the time? Is that why they'd been staring at him that day? Well, screw it. He felt like he was giving her ammo for her or someone else to torment him later, but it's not like this day was going to get any worse, and he was tired of trying to figure out her motives. Or Kurusu's, for that matter.

  
MISHIMA: No. I haven't.  
MISHIMA: Had a girlfriend.  
MISHIMA: Happy?  
ANN: welllll, do you want one?

  
_Wha...?_

  
ANN: like, lemme be clear. you're a cute boy but I don't wanna give you the wrong idea. you're not my type  
MISHIMA: You're not... really my type either???  
MISHIMA: Wait, cute? What is this  
MISHIMA: I mean you're pretty Takamaki-san. Very pretty.

  
He buried his face in the covers and groaned. He felt a growing conviction that he was being pranked and that a camera crew would jump out of his closet at any minute. Had he really just admitted he'd never had so much as a girlfriend to hold hands with to a near stranger, classmates though they were? He was _sixteen._ And then he'd told her she was "very pretty" after she'd just finished saying she wasn't interested? Takamaki had never done him wrong, but he pictured her pointing and laughing at him the minute he showed his face at school all the same.

  
ANN: don't be mad. but we thought you could use like, a confidence boost. if there's a girl you like now, or liked in the future, you could practice talking to me first  
ANN: I guess this is weird because we don't talk at school

  
He felt like he had whiplash. So Kurusu kissed him, and then told some version of what happened to Takamaki - _why?! Who does that?!_ \- and then she contacts him out of the blue to offer... conversation lessons? Girl advice?

  
MISHIMA: I'm not mad. I guess. But I'm confused, because yeah, we've never really talked.  
MISHIMA: Why do you care?

  
Another long pause while she seemed to consider carefully what to say.

  
ANN: Akira's my buddy  
MISHIMA: ?  
MISHIMA: I kind of assumed you were dating.

  
_But then why did Kurusu..._

  
MISHIMA: Maybe?  
ANN: been there, done that  
ANN: like it was a lot of fun? heheh  
ANN: but we figured out we were better as friends. and Akira's got his eye on someone rn anyway

  
He realized he was smiling. Now that he had some small inkling of what Takamaki had contacted him about, he felt a little flattered that she was talking to him at all. He didn't get to have too many heart to hearts with people at school (an understatement if ever there was one.) She trusted him enough to tell him about her relationship status, and knew he wouldn't spread it around to the gossips at school - after she'd been rumoured to be 'Kamoshida's bitch,' he was sure she preferred not to give them any new material. She'd even said he was a 'cute boy'... well, she'd also said he wasn't her type in the next breath, whatever that meant, but he felt his face grow warm all the same. _What part of me is 'cute', I wonder?_

  
Then his eyes locked onto the most recent message.

  
MISHIMA: So... who does he have his eye on?

  
Yeah, keep it casual. Not that he cared too much either way, of course.

  
ANN: that sounds like something you two should talk about after you make up from your fight ;) not my place to tell his secrets

  
A fight was not _exactly_ what had happened, but...

  
ANN: anyway. he's my buddy, like I said. and he wants to help, so I wanna help  
ANN: it'll be fun!

  
That... was debatable. He remembered the earlier part of his afternoon with Kurusu, the part that had been laid back and relaxed and, yeah, fun. Just eating at the diner with his friend and taking goofy pictures of each other. Then he pictured himself and Takamaki in the same booth, struggling to make the smallest of small talk in a diner full of people. Some of whom were probably Shujin -

  
_Oh shit, did anyone see me and Kurusu in the diner?!_

  
He'd scanned the streets carefully but it hadn't even crossed his mind while they'd been eating together. Now it didn't even matter what had really happened, or hadn't happened. A single Shujin student witnessing him and Kurusu eating together in a booth - _like couples do, shit shit shit_ \- could have just as easily watched them run outside and then stand together under the awning, since it was just across the street. The way they'd been standing so closely could have been passed off as the two of them trying to avoid the rain in a small space, but what Kurusu had done after that... anyone in the diner could have seen that.

  
_I'm dead._

  
But Takamaki had continued typing. And she seemed to have read his mind.

  
ANN: so like, if you guys are on good terms again, you and me can practice in this cafe called Leblanc in Yongen. it's nice. and students don't go there, so you can be comfortable practicing  
ANN: but Akira lives there so I think you better make up first

  
_Wait, what?_

  
MISHIMA: He lives in a manga cafe?  
ANN: lol wat?  
ANN: no no no he's my attic boy  
ANN: it's a nice coffee cafe with food and stuff. the owner lets him live in the attic  
MISHIMA: Is he like... an orphan? Geeze, he sounds like Harry Potter.  
ANN: lmao  
ANN: Imma tell him you said that  
MISHIMA: He looks a little bit like him too. And that cat of his could be his familiar instead of an owl.  
ANN: Mishimaaaaa  
MISHIMA: Wingardium Cat-iosa! Expecto Morganum!  
ANN: omg stopppppppp  
ANN: you know, you're plenty confident when you get talking. you and me haven't talked before now but we could have! I kinda wish I'd talked to you sooner  
ANN: maybe you don't need any help  
ANN: actually I guess this whole thing was kinda shitty of me  
ANN: like presumptuous? I mean. not everyone has to be dating. maybe you don't even want a girlfriend  
ANN: aw man, I'm sorry. this was a mistake  
MISHIMA: Oh, I wasn't thinking that. It's not shitty.

  
He took his eyes from the screen, thinking hard. He hadn't had such an involved conversation with anyone in a long, long time. And it was with Takamaki of all people, something he'd never pictured in a million years. It was actually... really nice. He was starting to see why Kurusu had decided to remain friends with her even after they'd broken it off.

  
MISHIMA: Let's do it.  
ANN: are you sure?  
MISHIMA: Teach me how to talk to girls, sensei!  
ANN: snerk  
ANN: k but let's not make things weird. clear things up with Akira first. it's where he lives after all  
MISHIMA: I felt like shit after our fight but I feel like I can talk to him again now. You're good to talk to Takamaki-san.  
ANN: awww  <3 no san required tho  
ANN: I liked talking to you too  
ANN: lemme know when you've hashed things out with him and we'll go practice

  
\----------

  
Akira sprawled on his bed, still drying off after having been caught out in the downpour. His hair was frizzier than ever from the humidity, and he'd changed out of his uniform and hung it up to dry.

  
Even after he'd dragged himself home, he felt like punching something. Maybe someone should punch him instead. Ann seemed busy, since she hadn't answered him in a while, but he craved distraction from his thoughts and messaged her anyway.

  
AKIRA: Do you think this is salvageable at all? Like, if he likes girls then that's just the way things are, but do you think I wrecked being friends with him too?  
ANN: just a sec  
AKIRA: I hope no one saw. I can't believe I did that to a straight guy. He must hate my guts now.  
ANN: chatting with him rn  
AKIRA: Sorry to make you do this. I bet it's awkward when you guys don't even talk at school.  
ANN: hey I offered  
ANN: also he's being freaking adorable  
ANN: like, he's cute, but did you know he's funny too? mebbe I'll steal him  
ANN: muehehehe  
AKIRA: Now I'm jealous. What are you even talking about?  
ANN: Harry Potter  
AKIRA: ???  
ANN: lol yeah he's making jokes now  
AKIRA: Well shit, I guess talking to a model perked him right up.  
ANN: aw hey, don't be like that. I'm not really gonna steal him you goob. c'mon  
ANN: I think he's pretty lonely. and he said he was upset after your 'fight'  
ANN: I think being friends is still on the table  
AKIRA: I wish I knew for sure about the whole 'I like girls' thing. Like, I don't wanna call him a liar, but you saw the kind of signals he was giving, right? Was it just me?  
ANN: god who knows  
ANN: but I have come up with a masterful plan to find out  
ANN: oh and I hope you don't mind but Morgana has been reading, like, everything. says he needs to know your drama to while away the hours in your desk. I think he's really just a big fat snoop  
ANN: hay t hat was uncalled for  
ANN: he's better at typing than I thought he'd be tho

  
His convo with Ann tapered off, and Akira felt a little better. Maybe his chances at going further with Mishima were dead, but Ann made it sound like he could hold out hope for going back to friends. He'd take it.

  
He got dressed to go out, remembering an umbrella this time. Might as well salvage part of his day. Maybe he'd hit up Iwai and get some guns customized. He crossed the empty cafe, giving Sojiro a nod on his way by, and placed his hand on the door as he was about to open it.

  
Mishima was on the other side of the glass.

  
They yelped in unison, gaping through the door at each other, and then Akira was struck with a hysterical laughing fit. After the day he'd had, his jangled nerves couldn't take it. It was too much. Why had he even been startled? Of course Mishima was here. Who else would it be? He collapsed into a booth as Mishima slunk into the cafe, trying to figure out what was going on as Akira struggled to regain composure.

  
"Geeze, kid, is that how you treat a customer? What's wrong with you?" Sojiro quirked an eyebrow from behind the counter.

  
"Oh, uh, it's okay, sir. We're in the same class at school. Kurusu-kun, you okay?"

  
"Y-yeah..." He cleared his throat and tried desperately to wipe the grin off his face, still sprawled in the booth. "You, uh, scared me, that's all." He looked at his hand and found that he still had his umbrella in a death grip, and was crying with laughter all over again.

  
Mishima wore a sheepish little smile, and raised his hands into claws. "Boo, I guess?"

  
"Stoppit, my heart can't take it. Anyway. Heh. Welcome to my humble abode. Sojiro, can I make my friend a coffee?"

  
He was in a magnanimous mood. "I'm about to lock up anyway. As long as you clean up after, knock yourself out." They said their goodbyes and he was gone, leaving the two of them entirely alone. Akira flipped the sign to closed and turned the door lock.

  
An awkward silence descended.

  
Akira, usually so self-assured, wanted to speak to him but had trouble meeting his eyes. He busied himself with the coffee equipment instead. But he did get straight to the point.

  
"Guess Ann told you where I live. I'm glad you're here, Mishima-kun." He took his time measuring out the coffee, thinking of what to say. "I owe you an apology. I made a lot of assumptions and I went way too far. I wish I'd just talked to you about how I felt instead of just... instead of doing what I did."

  
He finally raised his eyes to Mishima's, seated in a booth across the room, and spoke formally. "I hope that you might feel comfortable enough around me one day to be friends again."

  
His reaction surprised him. Mishima sat hunched and small with his hands clasped loosely on the table in front of him. His lips were pressed into a thin line, and when he raised his face towards Akira, his eyes shone wet in the dim light. He looked absolutely miserable.

  
When Mishima finally spoke, his voice cracked. "I don't... I don't want you to think..." He swallowed with an audible click and tried again. "You still want to be friends, or whatever?"

  
Akira was almost speechless. "Wh- why would you think, from what happened today, that _I_ didn't want to be your friend anymore?"

  
Mishima stared at his hands. "I wound up letting you pay for my dinner after all and then just... ran away like an idiot. I feel like... like I don't know how to act around you," he mumbled. "I want to hang out with you and I just wind up - wind up -" He released a long, shaky breath. "Embarrassing myself. And you."

He risked a quick glance up at Akira from the corner of his eye. "Maybe we should be, like, friends in secret. I'm just gonna wreck your reputation even more."

  
_Oh god._ "Mishima, I don't give a _shit_ about my reputation."

  
He flinched a little at Akira's vehemence.

  
"Do you think I'm like, _deaf_ at school? They make up stuff about me stabbing someone with a knife, or selling drugs, or whatever the newest one is. You think me hanging out with you will make them think any less of me than that? Being seen with you could only _improve_ my reputation, not make it worse. I should be asking _you_ if _you_ want to be, to be, 'secret friends.' I should be worried about wrecking  _your_ reputation. Goddamn." Akira ran both hands through his hair and exhaled deeply through his nose.

  
"Ugh. I'm sorry, Mishima-kun. I shouldn't be yelling. I'm not mad at you."

  
But when he turned back to look at Mishima across the counter, he was surprised once again. Now _he_ was in a laughing fit.

  
"Uh..."

  
"Kurusu-kun, y-you s-said... you sssaid..." and Mishima could only bury his face in his forearms folded upon the table in front of him, giggling helplessly.

  
Akira was relieved enough that he decided to just stay quiet and enjoy the sound of Mishima's laughter while he finished up two coffees. He guessed that Mishima would like his coffee sweet and was generous with the cream and sugar.

  
He sat at the booth across from Mishima, sliding a coffee in front of him. "Are you gonna tell me what's so funny?" But his voice was gentle.

  
Mishima's face was shiny with tears, but they were only from laughing. "Two things, Kurusu-kun." His shoulders were still shaking.

  
"One. I suggested that we be _friends in secret_ , to protect your reputation. And then you said you should be asking me if I wanted us to be 's-secret f-friends'-" His voice quaked, trying not to descend into a fit of laughter again.

  
Akira took a sip of his coffee, raising his eyebrows at Mishima above the rim of the cup as he did. "So?"

  
"S-so S-Secret Friends sounds like some kinda, s-some kinda, super shitty superhero team in a c-comic book..."

  
Akira sputtered into his coffee. "Ohhh... oh no, it  _does_..." He grabbed a napkin to wipe spit and coffee from his chin. "Charming, aren't I?"

 

"The charmingest." They were smiling again, and everything was better.

  
Akira handed Mishima a napkin, and as he watched Mishima's smile falter, realizing he still had tears all over his face, he quickly changed the topic. "Do you like coffee? I live on it."

  
Mishima granted him a simple, open smile, one that Akira hadn't seen before at school. "I thought you might. You smell like it all the time."

  
_You know what I smell like...?_ "Ah, that's actually the beans. There's huge bags of 'em up in my room." His eyes flicked upwards, indicating the attic above.

  
Mishima's eyes lit up. "Takamaki told me you live above a cafe! Is it weird? You're like Harry Potter or something."

  
Akira threw back his head and barked a single, surprised laugh. " _What?_ Did we watch the same movies?"

  
"W-well, you both... have glasses... and Morgana's your owl..." He paused to sip his coffee. "I think it made more sense when I said it to her. Hey, I actually like this. The last time I tried coffee it was so bitter I couldn't finish it."

  
Akira gave him a smug grin while stroking his chin like some kind of mastermind. "I figured you would. It's better to add sugar and cream to introduce it to someone who doesn't usually drink it. Sorta takes the edge off."

  
He snorted. "You make it sound like hard liquor, man."

  
They sipped in a much more comfortable silence for a moment. Something occurred to Akira, however. "Hey, Mishima-kun?"

  
"Yeah?"

  
"You said you were laughing about two things a minute ago. One was the Secret Friends. What was the other thing?"

  
"O-oh." Mishima suddenly looked like he wanted to hide behind something. "It's dumb. It wasn't funny anyway. It just made me happy."

  
"Tell me."

  
"It just. Um. It made me happy when you called me Mishima. Not Mishima-kun. When you said you didn't give a shit about your reputation?"

  
"Eesh. I did do that, didn't I. Sorry, Mishima-kun."

  
"I just said it made me happy, didn't I?" A shy smile crept across his face. "I know how you can make it up to me though."

  
"Delicious coffee isn't enough?"

  
"Nope. Do you think -" Mishima's eyes cut away, then cut back to his. "-that I could call you Akira? The way you are to Takamaki, and she's Ann to you?"

  
"Only if I can call you Yuki."

  
He was crestfallen. "Mm. I guess it's not fair to ask then. I actually like Mishima better. Only my parents call me Yuki."

  
"Hey, if you're okay with us being, like, uneven, then I am too. You don't look like a Yuki to me anyway."

  
It wasn't the most logical statement to ever leave his mouth, but Mishima looked pleased anyway.

  
Akira took their cups away and washed them in the sink. Mishima gazed forward out the glass door as the sky lost its colour, fading into twilight. Keeping his head down, Akira raised his voice to be heard above the water.

  
"So, Mishima -" Akira watched him out of the corner of his eye as he spoke, noting the small smile that appeared when he called him that. He made a promise to himself to use his name whenever he could. "I think... I think we better talk. About this afternoon."

  
The smile vanished. "Y-yeah. I dunno how, but. I think we should too."

  
Akira dried his hands before dropping back to his seat across from Mishima. "Look, we're in a booth again."

  
A weak smile in response. "Ha. Yeah, looks like we are." Mishima waited patiently.

  
Akira blew his hair off his forehead, trying to gather his thoughts. "So like. I'm not the best at this. At being, like, open and honest and blunt. I'm better at dropping hints and seeing if they get picked up on. But I think that's not the way to go about this. So. Here's a couple things off the bat." Akira ticked them off his fingers. "Number one. We're still friends, or are friends again, or whatever. Right? Agreed?"

  
Mishima gave a firm nod. That was easy.

  
"Number two. See that lock on the door above the handle?"

  
Mishima craned his neck to see around Akira, then straightened. "Yup."

  
"It's locked right now, cuz we're closed, but the second you feel like you want to leave, you just turn it to the left, _chk_ , like that, and it's open. And then you're out. So don't... don't feel like I'm trying to hold you here. I don't want you to feel that way. If you don't want to hear what I have to say, if you don't want to be sitting here with me, you don't have to. Make sense?"

  
Mishima nodded slowly.

  
"But. I hope you'll hear me out. Last one. Number three. I. Well, you probably guessed it already. I like you. More than just as a friend." He looked at his hands.

  
Mishima's voice sounded a bit shaky. "Yeah. I dunno how you can just say it like that. But I guess I did. Guess it, I mean."

  
Akira continued to study his fingers. "So. I guess the reason I just went out and kissed you is because I misread you. I was sending you signals and I thought I was getting them back but I was wrong. I mean, if I had been right your response wouldn't have been to run away. That's kind of a bad sign, usually." His mouth twisted, and he finally raised his eyes to Mishima's. "I'm really sorry. I won't do it again."

  
When he looked up, Mishima was biting his lower lip, staring at his own hands. "You don't have to apologize." He stammered, "You can't have been wrong about signals, or whatever, because I don't know what I'm doing. I, I don't know what I want. I never do. I feel... something... when I'm by myself and another thing when I'm with you and some other third thing when we're at school or in public. I freaked out when you did... that... and ran away, but I feel freaked out _all_ the time." He fiddled with his coffee cup, looking defeated. "I wish I talked better. I wish I were more, more _articulate_. I don't know what I want," he repeated.

  
"You know, saying that you don't know what you want is a good start, actually."

  
"Yeah? Why's that?" Mishima mumbled into his hands, clasped loosely in front of his mouth.

  
"Leads to... introspection. It leaves a space to figure out what you _do_ want. Right? Like, do you think most people do that? I don't think they do. I don't mean to change the subject, but that's sort of what the Phantom Thieves are all about. Making a space in your head to break free from the, the formula that others assign to you because that's what was assigned to them, and no other reason than that. It's hard to do that because then you have to fill that space with what you actually do want. And nobody can tell you what that is."

  
"...I think I get what you mean."

  
Akira's voice became gentle, searching. "So. Mishima. Just after I kissed you, but before you ran away. You told me that you like girls."

  
Mishima nodded, looking miserable again. But he forced himself to meet his gaze. "Uh huh."

  
"Do you think that that's true? Or did you say that because you think that's what you're expected to say?" His voice became even softer. "Or maybe it was exactly the truth, but you don't... only... like girls?"

  
Mishima couldn't seem to take Akira looking at him any more. He dropped his face onto his forearms folded upon the table and hid. A muffled groan of frustration was his only response.

  
Akira leaned back, satisfied. It was a start. "Maybe that's enough for now. It's tough. I know it is."

  
Mishima spoke without moving a muscle, mumbling into his arms. "How did you know?"

  
"Hm?"

  
"How did you know that you liked... boys?"

  
Unseen by Mishima, Akira scrunched up his face, trying to remember. "It was a couple years ago, I think. I always liked girls. It was always just there. Boys were different. I had no idea until I started liking this guy that lived down the street from me. I noticed parts of him that you probably don't notice when you're just friends. I thought about his face when we were apart. His laugh. Stuff like that." He paused, thinking harder. "Or maybe that was always there too and I just didn't want to think too hard about it. Sometimes you lie to yourself."

  
Mishima nodded immediately even as his face remained pressed into his arms on the table. Something Akira had said seemed to have struck a chord.

  
"Hey." Akira hesitated, and then, carefully, lightly, placed a hand on his shoulder. "I feel like I'm interrogating you or something. You want another coffee? I figured out how to make lattes. We can talk about something else."

  
Mishima sat up, and seemed to feel a little better about looking Akira in the eye. "That sounds good to me."

\----------

  
Mishima was left on his own again as Akira busied himself with brewing coffee and steaming milk. While he waited, he scrolled through his chat convos and realized he was smiling. He'd found Takamaki sort of scary in the past. Intimidating. But she was actually really decent to talk to. Nice even. He would have never found that out if she hadn't taken the first step and messaged him.

  
"Akira?"

  
"Yeah?" His head was down, pouring the foamed milk into the cups.

  
"Why'd you and Takamaki break up?"

  
"She told you about that, huh?" He came to the table and set down their lattes. Akira had left his plain, but Mishima's had an ornate leaf pattern. "Latte art. That's the best one I've made yet."

  
Mishima had gained a little of himself back, and felt good enough to tease. "Aw, no heart for me?"

  
Akira simply hid his mouth behind his cup as he sipped, his expression imperceptible behind his glasses.

  
"I'm kidding. You're really good at this barista thing."

  
"Thanks. It's kinda hard sometimes - challenging - but I like it. Anyway -" He stretched his arms above and behind his head until both shoulders popped loudly. "-it was mutual. We like each other a lot. We get along great. Had a lot of... fun." He smiled deviously, but didn't go into further detail as to what 'fun' meant. Mishima remembered that Takamaki had used the same word and smiled to himself a little. It occurred to him that they had both given him an idea of the full extent of their relationship without disrespecting the other, and he couldn't help but compare that to all the explicit locker room talk he'd overheard when he'd been on the volleyball team. Akira could've done the same and bragged about everything he'd done to her in an attempt to impress him, but he hadn't. He was a gentleman.

  
"Wasn't love though. Not 'couple love' anyway. It's hard to describe."

  
"She seems really cool. I only talked to her for a little while this afternoon, but she cheered me up. She's so different in class though."

  
Akira cocked an eyebrow. "You are too. You mean she's quiet in class, right? It's a self-defense mechanism."

  
Mishima scoffed. "I mean, I _guess_. Why wouldn't we be? Those assholes at school will seize onto the tiniest scrap and never let it go." His jaw clenched. "I hate that I'm assigned to sit up by the front. It's not as bad now that the K- " His voice faltered. " - the volleyball thing is a few months in the past, but I still feel like everyone's staring a hole into the back of my head, waiting for me to screw up. You know? So yeah, no wonder Takamaki and I are quiet. Can't give them ammunition," he said bitterly.

  
Akira's face lit up. "I have an idea."

  
"Wait, what? An idea about what? Hey -" But Akira had leapt out of his seat and was already at the wall. He flicked a bank of switches, and the room plunged into darkness. "Hey-!"

  
Mishima felt Akira sit back down across from him. He blinked, allowing his eyes to adjust, and slowly, he found he could make out the pale skin of Akira's face, the light tabletop, and their lattes in their white cups. A small amount of light leaked through the glass door from the streetlights outside, though it was indirect light only. He could see Akira's wild hair silhouetted in front of the door, and not a lot else.

  
Akira spoke in a hush, as if the lights being off meant he had to be quiet too. "How's your night vision?"

  
"Good enough, I guess. I can sort of see your mouth moving, and your hands, but not much else." Mishima took another sip of his latte. "Your big idea was to turn off the lights though...? Is this to make sure people don't think the cafe is open?"

  
"No, the closed sign is there. This is for you."

  
"I don't... get it."

  
"Thought you might be more comfortable this way."

  
"Because - ?"

  
He half felt, half saw Akira lift his hands from the table and tick off points on his fingers again. "One. You just told me you felt like people were constantly staring at you in class. Two. When I'm talking to you about... hard stuff, you tend to hide your face so you don't have to see me looking at you. Three. When we were outside the diner, you were close to me, but you had a hard time being face to face with me. Right? You were always checking the street to see if people were noticing you. Noticing us."

  
His voice softened again, lost the business-like tone. "Four. I kissed you in a public place, because I didn't realize this about you, and because I'm an idiot. And it made you run away."

  
Akira decided it would be counterproductive to let on to Mishima that his night vision was a whole lot better than the average person's, and so he had to watch in silence as Mishima wiped tears from his eyes with his thumb. It wasn't until he couldn't help but make a small sniffling noise that Akira allowed himself to react. "Aw, Mishima. Hey. I'm sorry."

  
When Mishima spoke, his voice jumped high and low. "How do you know these things?"

  
"Was I right? You don't like feeling like people are staring at you? More than just in class, I mean."

  
Akira watched him nod in the dark, silent aside from some more sniffling noises. He decided a white lie was for the greater good. "I can barely even see your outline. Just a sec." He groped for the napkin dispenser in an exaggerated fashion and handed a stack to Mishima. "Sorry, just more napkins."

  
Mishima blew his nose and wiped his face while Akira walked to the door and peered out, looking at nothing. It was a small cafe, and there weren't too many places he could stand to give him some privacy. Akira heard the sound of him stuffing used napkins into his pockets and turned around again. "You okay?"

  
Mishima's voice just about broke his heart. It was practically inaudible, raspy and beaten down. "Yeah. 'm fine."

  
In the dark, Akira came to Mishima's side until he stood outside the booth where he was sitting, but stopped himself just in time from reaching out. Touching Mishima as much as he wanted without thinking about what _he_ wanted had gotten them into this mess. He had to have restraint.

  
But he looked so small.

  
There was just enough room in the booth on Mishima's side for Akira to slide in next to him without making contact. So he did.

  
For a long moment, Mishima just looked at him in the dark. Even with the lights off, Akira tried to remember the reason they were off in the first place, and just let Mishima look without meeting his eyes. He looked straight ahead instead.

  
"Akira?"

  
"Yeah?" They were both whispering. Akira was close enough to feel Mishima's body heat radiating from him.

  
"Friends hug, right?"

  
Akira let himself laugh, just a bit. "Yeah man. Friends hug." He wrapped his right arm around Mishima's shoulders, just the way they'd been standing on the street earlier that day. He both heard and felt a deep sigh escape Mishima, as if he'd been holding it in all this time. But they didn't look at each other.

  
\----------

  
They spent a stretch of time like that, not moving much; listening to the sounds of the trains at the nearby station, the wash of distant traffic, and each other's breathing. Mishima stirred first.

  
"Thanks. I feel a bit better."

  
"Know why?" Akira kept his voice low, taking his arm back.

  
"Mm?"

  
"Cuz when a person cries, it releases stress hormones. And endorphins. So that's why crying makes you feel better when you're done."

  
"I can't believe you're such a nerd." But Mishima was laughing, a little, and he sounded better.

  
Akira shifted his legs, bumping his thigh against Mishima's. "I hate to ruin the mood. But I gotta go like craaaazy."

  
"Heh, me too."

  
Akira stood and gestured toward the washroom like the maitre d of some fancy hotel. "Coffee will do that. Guests first."

  
Mishima went, feeling a little awkward but less off balance than before. He grimaced at his own reflection and splashed some water on his face, trying to get rid of the tear tracks. When he was finished, Akira had his turn, and they returned to the booth in the darkness.

  
Mishima's night vision was gone after the light in the washroom, so Akira was only a blurry shape, this time seated across from him. He heard the sound of knuckles cracking, and Akira spoke up. "I'm not trying to kick you out. Don't think that. I've got a couch up there you can sleep on if, if you feel comfortable doing that. But it's getting late. Are your parents gonna freak out if you're not home?"

  
A short, wry laugh. "Nope."

  
"You're not gonna even... text them, or something?"

  
"We've met up in the Shinjuku red light district a bunch of times, remember? You think I would be there at all hours if my parents cared where I was at night? If they even noticed whether I came home or not?"

  
"Ouch. That... that sucks."

  
"Yeah, well. I'm off the volleyball team. I'm a nothing to them again."

  
Mishima could barely see Akira's shoulders and hands move, then stop as he reconsidered, then move again as he extended his hands across the table. They slowly crept over Mishima's until they covered both of his. "Is this - is this okay?"

  
Mishima hunched his shoulders but nodded in the dark. He didn't pull his hands back.

  
"You're not a nothing."

  
"I think most people would disagree with you." Another bitter laugh.

  
"You know, that brings up an interesting question though. Shinjuku? You don't like feeling like people are staring at you, and yet you hang out in places like _that?_ Akihabara, too? They're packed with people."

  
Mishima withdrew, but only so he could straighten in his seat and talk with his hands excitedly. "Oh, that's totally different though! In the red light district especially, no one's gonna look at me. I'm the least interesting person there. I can just... be myself."

  
Akira winced. "You're really selling yourself short. You're, uh, exactly some guys' type, you know. I think you're being noticed more than you think."

  
Mishima looked smug. "Oh, those two guys? I know them. You just have to know how to handle them."

  
"Uh... and how exactly do you handle them? Because they had Ryuji scared out of his mind."

  
"It's like a game. If you tease them back, you belong. If they get too grabby or too personal with their questions, you just deflect to a different topic. It's actually kind of fun, to talk to them I mean."

  
Akira was blown away. "And I thought I knew you. Wow. You're really - that's pretty mature? I guess? To know how to handle that kind of attention."

  
Mishima grinned in the dark. "I thought the same about you. When you were telling me about your ex, and you weren't just trying to brag about what you'd gotten from her, like a lot of guys at school would. And you've got your, like, crazy coffee skills. I don't think too many people know that kind of stuff. People in high school, I mean."

  
"That's us. Coupla mature dudes, sittin' in the dark."

  
"I guess this is dumb. You might as well turn on the lights." Mishima retreated further, sinking into the booth's cushioned back.

  
"Nah. That's not what I meant. I've never done this. It's kinda nice. It's never this quiet here. Usually Morgana's yowling too, but he's having a playdate with Ann tonight."

  
Mishima laughed. "You two sound like a, like an amicably divorced couple. You must've won custody, though."

  
Akira snorted. "Yeah. I make it sound like he's a pain, but Morgana's good to talk to. Good company. It's, uh, kinda lonely up in the attic sometimes. I guess."

  
Mishima's eyebrows shot up in the dark. "Oh, yeah, hey! I wanna see this attic. You said you've got a couch for me to crash on?" Suddenly his face fell and his demeanour changed. "Shit. I didn't even ask if I could come here. I just showed up at the door. Are you supposed to have people over? I don't want to get you in trouble."

  
Akira flapped his hand. "Yeah, s'fine. Really. I've had my friend Yusuke stay the night. Sojiro's cool with it if we're tidy." He left the booth and crossed the room, hovering his hand on the bank of light switches. "Reminds me though. I need to clean up after the lattes. Lights are going back on - cover your eyes -" Mishima did, until his eyes adjusted. "Why don't you hang out in my room while I wash up. I need like, two minutes."

  
"If you're sure it's okay..."

  
Akira just flapped his hand at him again - "Pssht" - and grabbed a cleaning cloth.


	2. A button to push. "Oh, were you just... pretending I was a girl?" A little bolder.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira and Mishima have a long, long chat and get more comfortable. Smut abounds. Tags will update with each new chapter.

Mishima climbed the stairs. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but it wasn't this. Dusty, maybe a little shabby, but spacious. And the scent of roasted coffee beans that he'd noticed on Akira was filling the space. He was inspecting Akira's shelf above the desk when Akira reached the top of the stairs behind him.

  
"You've got a lot of stuffed animals for a guy."

  
"You be nice to my babies. I won them all from the claw machine at the arcade." Akira tossed a spare pillow and blanket onto the couch. "Doesn't look like much but it should be okay to sleep on. I've fallen asleep there before, at least."

  
"Good enough for me." Mishima was still peering at everything. "It's actually kinda cool up here. Pretty different from my room... you get to be all on your own after closing time -" He turned back towards the stairs. "-but no door!?" He goggled at Akira. "Geeze, how do you have any..." He trailed off and rubbed the back of his neck.

  
"Privacy?" Akira suggested.

  
"Yeah. That."

  
"Takes some timing, that's all. Strategy. Ann and I made it work."

  
Mishima had actually been thinking of Akira alone in his room, not with Ann, but decided to keep that to himself. Akira was rummaging through a pile of folded clothing.

  
"PJs? If you don't feel too weird wearing my stuff. They're clean."

  
"Oh, hey, I can just sleep in my clothes, it's -" But Akira had already thrown him a loose t-shirt and a pair of drawstring pants. Mishima shrugged. "Uh, well, if you insist?" He went back to the washroom downstairs and quickly stripped out of his jeans and long-sleeved t-shirt, replacing them with Akira's clothing. He practically swam in them; they were both comically large on him. But he felt a little pleased when he saw himself wearing them in the mirror. _You're such a dumbass._

  
He may have been a little _too_ quick as he was getting changed because when he reached the top of the stairs again, a bundle of clothing in his hands, he interrupted Akira changing into his own pajamas. His own pair of drawstring pants were on but he had a long-sleeved t-shirt covering his face, half on and half off, and so he didn't notice - or _pretended_ not to notice - as Mishima's eyes were drawn to his flat, toned stomach. By the time his face was uncovered and his t-shirt pulled down into place, Mishima was seated on the couch, struggling to yank his drawstrings tight enough to keep the pants from falling down.

  
"Uh, sorry. Guess we're not really the same size, huh."

  
"No big deal. Thanks for lending me something to wear." Mishima's face burned as he settled in on the couch. _How can I still feel so awkward around him?!_ "Um, so, lights out, I guess?"

  
Was that a hint of disappointment on Akira's face? "Yeah, it's late. G'night, then." He removed his glasses, flipped the switch, and they were in darkness again.

  
"Oh, I actually feel... really wired... Are you tired, Akira?" It still felt nice to say his given name.

  
Somewhere to his left in the void of darkness, he heard Akira laughing. "Oh no. What have I done? I gave two coffees to a caffeine noob."

  
"Aw what? Caffeine noob?!" Now he was laughing too. "I guess it's mostly true though..."

  
Akira made his voice forlorn. "You weren't ready. I can only blame myself."

  
"I'll get better, I swear! Give me another chance!" The silence came back as their laughter tapered off, but it was comfortable again, laying there in the dark. He eventually heard Akira clear his throat and speak up.

  
"Sorry. You're gonna be tired in the morning. So am I though. I usually don't drink that much, that late either."

  
"I'm not gonna keep you awake then? If we keep talking?"

  
"Nah. Got something on your mind?"

  
"Just... just sort of what we already talked about today." Mishima felt his heart begin to thud again.

  
"It's easier with the lights out, isn't it."

  
"Y-yeah. I guess it is. I don't have to see if you're like, disgusted by me or something."

  
"What? Why would you think - I was the one who _kissed_ you this afternoon, remember?"

  
"It doesn't have to make sense. _I_ don't make sense."

  
He heard Akira stirring, maybe turning on his side under the covers a few feet away. "Don't push yourself. I don't want you to think I've got you here to try to, try to _corner_ you into something you don't know if you want yet. If I did misread you in the end then I'll still be your friend. I just..." He heard Akira sit up quickly. "I know what it was like for me, anyway."

  
Mishima just lay in silence, one arm folded beneath his head, while his mind raced. Was this really the kind of answer that would come to him if he continued on the way he had been - sitting at the front of the class in school, coming back to an empty home, and sleeping ( _sleeping alone_ ) in his bed, just to start it over again the next day? How would he ever figure this out unless he - unless he actually _did_ something? He remembered what Akira had said. There was a space that he had to fill with what he really wanted, not what he thought he wanted. And no one else could tell him the answer.

  
_Stop being such a fucking coward._

  
Fists clenched, he swung his feet over the side of the couch, marched over to Akira's bed, and dropped himself next to where Akira was sitting. Something inside him was cringing, telling him to _stop stop stop_ , but he locked it away. His mind was set. "Akira. I. I don't know what I want. But I won't ever know if I don't." He had to swallow, hard, to keep his voice going. "If I don't... try."

  
He could see even less than he could when they'd been sitting downstairs with the lights out. But he didn't need to see to feel Akira stand up from the bed, step in front of him in the dark, and wrap his arms around him in a firm hug. It felt kind of awkward to press the side of his face to Akira's belly, and more awkward to wrap his arms around his legs. But he didn't really care.

 

When Akira let him go, he climbed past Mishima to the far side of the bed and held up the covers for him. "C'mere."

  
For all his brave words, Mishima hesitated.

  
Akira seemed to sense it and lowered his voice further. "Hey, I don't mean that. Talking's fine."

  
A beat later, and then Mishima was tentatively crawling under the covers next to him. It was a small bed, and there was no way this was going to work with both of them flat on their backs. Akira took him by the shoulder and murmured, "Roll that way, okay?" Mishima nodded even as he felt renewed dread flare in his stomach - _from what though? What are you really afraid of?_ \- and faced outwards.

  
A second of stillness, and then Akira snaked an arm around him and pressed his chest to Mishima's back. It was just like how they'd stood on the street, but _more_. Akira kept his hips angled away, legs on his own side, but his hand found the centre of Mishima's chest and stroked him there through his shirt with his palm. Just a soft, comforting motion. Mishima let out a long, shuddering breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

  
Akira whispered in his ear, breath puffing against his skin. "See? Nothing too scary."

  
_Yeah, pretty normal. Getting spooned by another guy in his bed. Not scary at all. Happens to me every day_. But as snarky as his thoughts wanted to be, it felt... nice. His shoulders finally unclenched, his back relaxed, and he let himself settle the last inch or two against Akira's chest.

  
"What do you want to happen, Mishima?"

  
"I don't... I don't know. I don't know what's even supposed to come next when, when this happens."

  
"There's no checklist. Nothing _has_ to happen. We could just stay like this."

  
Mishima heard what he was saying, and had a vague feeling that he should respond, even as his brain gave him nothing to work with but noise. "I think. I think I like... this."

  
He couldn't see his face, of course, but he could hear a smile in Akira's voice. "Hugs never hurt anybody." Mishima felt him shift minutely. "My arm's falling asleep under me though. Think you'd be okay with it going under your head?"

  
"O-oh, yeah, of course -"

  
They adjusted positions, Mishima's neck pressed to Akira's upper arm, and the warm palm on his chest started stroking him again in small, soft motions. He closed his eyes as he started to zone out.

  
Every time Akira spoke, Mishima felt his breath tickle the short hairs at the back of his neck. "You know, you're not the first _person_ I've kissed, but you are the first _boy_ I've kissed. Maybe I did it wrong. Maybe that's not what you're supposed to do."

  
Mishima's eyes flew open. "Your neighbour though...? There weren't any guys back home that -"

  
"I had a dumb crush on him. I don't think he was into guys, himself. I was too chicken to do anything about it even if I'd thought he was. And I didn't get any further with -"

  
"You? Chicken?! How could you just kiss me out on the street then?!" Mishima squeaked indignantly. In his agitation he raised himself onto one elbow and peered over his shoulder into the darkness in Akira's direction.

  
Akira just laughed, low and dark, behind Mishima's ear and pulled him back down against him. "I already told you. I'm an idiot." He held him close and squeezed him tight for a moment before withdrawing the hand that had been touching his chest. A second later, Mishima felt him stroking the hair at the back of his head and neck with the backs of his fingers. Mishima couldn't help but shudder a little as he felt his hair trying to stand on end.

  
"Cold?"

  
His voice was sullen. "No. You know I'm not cold."

  
Akira's fingers stopped. "Sorry. I shouldn't tease you."

  
"It's not that. You just always sound like you know everything. Like you know how to do everything already." Mishima clenched the covers in frustration at his own stupid mouth. "That came out wrong. I don't mean you're a know-it-all, I mean that you just _seem_ like you've... like you've done this before. With a guy."

  
"Nope. I just kissed you because I wanted to. I thought _you_ wanted me to. We saw how well that went."

  
Mishima let out a harsh, annoyed sigh. "But then how can you _know_? How can you _know_ you l-like me, that you want to... kiss me, when you haven't even done that with guys before?"

  
"Maybe it's easier for me to know because after I moved out here I just said... screw it. About everything. My reputation started out in a hole and I don't think it's gotten any better. So what can I lose if I just finally let myself... like what I like?" Cautiously, he spread his fingertips into Mishima's hair. "Let myself... like who I like."

  
A tiny noise escaped Mishima's lips. A bit like a sigh, a bit like a gasp. Akira seemed to take it as permission and ran the fingers of his free hand through Mishima's spiky hair, tugging gently at it in handfuls, letting go just to pull at it again in a new place.

  
Mishima's voice sounded far away. "Why does that feel so..."

  
"Nice?"

  
Mishima just nodded silently. But Akira's fingers froze. He took his hand back and kept it to himself. When he remained motionless, Mishima tried to peer over his shoulder again. "Hm...?"

  
"I, uh. I think I'm being a bad friend." There was no sign of a smile in Akira's voice this time.

  
_Are we really still just doing friend things right now?_ Mishima was willing to admit he was inexperienced, but he had a hunch that most platonic friendships didn't go down this road. When he didn't answer, Akira clarified.

  
"I think this is selfish of me. I'm pushing you. I've had a few years to think about these kinds of things and you've had... today. It's not fair to you." He pulled back his arm and started to sit up.

  
"Akira, wait -"

  
"I think we'd better stay apart until you've had some time to think about what you want. If we stay close I just, I'll just keep touching you. Because that's what I want. But I'll wait until you can tell me what you want."

  
Mishima rolled over to peer into the darkness where the rest of the bed met the wall. He could just barely make out the shape of Akira sitting against the wall, knees drawn up, face turned down and away. Suddenly Mishima felt the answer clamor into his brain. He knew the solution.

  
_You've spent your entire goddamn life letting chances slip away while you stayed... passive. So it wouldn't be your fault if something went wrong. It's time to stop being passive._

  
"I still don't... I don't really know what I want. But I want to know. And I trust you. So if you're okay with there being a chance that the answer is no... that I really do just like girls, only girls... then I want to find out what I want. With you."

  
Mishima clenched his fists, squeezed his eyes shut, and went in blind. He crawled the last foot or so to where Akira was sitting, angled his face to the side, and kissed him.

  
That was the idea, at least. His aim was off, and he placed a soft kiss onto Akira's shirt, on his upper chest. _Uh. It's the thought that counts?_

  
He heard a shaky, watery laugh in the dark above him. _He's that upset?_ "You wanna - " Akira cleared his throat and started over. "You wanna try that again?" Mishima could just make out Akira stretching out his long legs in the dark, and then he simply waited, perfectly still.

  
Mishima took every cowardly doubt and excuse his brain was trying to throw at him in that instance and buried them. Then he knelt and straddled Akira's lap, carefully hovering to avoid contact, and kissed him gently on the lips.

  
It felt weird. It felt amazing.

  
Akira seemed to think so too. He wrapped both arms around Mishima and crushed him to his chest. One of his hands found its way to his hair and _pulled_. Mishima could only exhale through his nose, unable to go on kissing or thinking or anything else. He remained motionless until Akira broke contact to see what was wrong.

  
"S-sorry, when you do that to my hair it's like you turn off my brain..."

  
A better laugh this time. Akira sounded more like himself. His snarky, smirky self. "I think I found a button to push."

  
"I, well, I like it, but gimme a chance to figure this out first."

  
"Okay, oka-" But Mishima interrupted him with his mouth. He placed soft kisses on the corners of his lips, on the center, trying to find all the ways his lips would fit with Akira's. Akira, to his credit, was trying to hold back to some extent, trying to let him figure it out for himself. But at last he couldn't wait any longer, and inserted just the very tip of his tongue between Mishima's lips.

  
_"Mmmf..."_ That. That was something different.

  
Hearing that, Akira pulled his face away again. "Now what was _that?"_ Mishima could just barely see an evil expression cross his face, close as he was.

  
"Oh shut up, Akira." Mishima grabbed the sides of his face until their lips met again. He parted his lips and brought his tongue to Akira's lips, just faintly touching them until Akira opened his mouth on his own.

  
_Man._ Why did this feel so different than before? Akira let his tongue in readily, and Mishima could actually hear him panting.  _He actually likes this?_ Feeling bolder, he thrust his fingers into Akira's thick, soft hair - _does this work on him the way it does on me?_ \- and clenched his hands into loose fists; at the same time he drove his tongue deeper inside, mashing his lips against Akira's.

  
Akira made a deep rumbling groan into his mouth that started all the way down in his chest.

  
_Holy shit._

  
The sound activated something in his brain, and his hips snapped forward without any input from him. He relaxed into Akira's lap and found out just how much Akira liked him.

  
_"Dude_. Dude, you're -"

  
Akira looked sheepish. He wouldn't meet his eyes anymore. Mishima just hovered awkwardly for a moment longer and then climbed off. He'd managed to kill the moment.

  
He finally spoke up. "It's not, it's not gross, or anything. You're not gross. I just don't get why you're... like that." He gestured vaguely at the very obvious tent in Akira's pants.

  
"Uh, could it have anything to do with making out with a cute guy in my _bed?"_

  
"Yeah but... wait -"

  
"And maybe you should consider taking stock of your own, uh, state of affairs."

  
Mishima looked down. Akira was right. "But that's different."

  
Akira let out a sharp, yelping laugh. _"What?"_

  
"It sounds like you've had all kinds of experience with girls before. You've gone further than this. You're just helping me figure out what I... like. If I like guys." A new thought occurred to him. "Oh, were you just... pretending I was a girl?"

  
"Mishima... no. No." Akira looked hurt. Or maybe he felt hurt _for_ him, not because of him.

  
"Then why would you - _ah -_ " In the near complete darkness, he felt himself shoved down into the mattress, flat on his back. Akira crouched over him, face completely unreadable. He raised one loosely curled fist up to Mishima's head, the knuckle of his index finger extended slightly.

  
"I. Like. Guys." With each word, Akira rapped his knuckle down onto the top of Mishima's head. It didn't hurt, but after having been slammed down and now... this, Mishima felt completely poleaxed. "I. Like. _You._ " He put his fist back down and supported himself on his hands, planted on either side of Mishima's head. "Why do you think I said I was worried about pushing you? That I was being selfish? Why do you think I would say that if I thought you would just... have no effect on me?"

  
"I guess I thought. I, um. I guess I don't know what I thought. When you said you liked me I didn't... I didn't think it would be like that."

  
Without warning Akira lowered himself until he was lightly resting upon him, chest to chest; most of his weight was on his knees, placed on either side of Mishima. Akira buried his face into the side of Mishima's neck and murmured urgently into his ear. "When I said I liked you, the word was inadequate. It's true, but it's not the whole truth." His voice deepened into a growl. "Mishima. I wanna fuck you. I like you, and I wanna spend time with you, and make you happy. But yeah. There's wanting to fuck you in there too. Not some girl. Not some other random guy. _You_." He drew back slowly to gauge Mishima's reaction.

  
"But _why?_ " From Akira's face, that did not seem to be the desired effect.

  
Akira sat up, his ass resting lightly on Mishima's hips. "Is this..." He heaved a deep sigh and ran both hands through his hair, then roughly scrubbed his face up and down. "Is this a failure to understand what being into guys is about, or is this a failure to understand why I would like you, specifically?"

  
He heard a rueful laugh below him. "What's to like."

  
Akira rolled off of him and sat upright against the wall again. "Are you serious? I've been checking your ass out in your school uniform for a while now. I told Ann about it too. I like the ways your thighs look, and the way your hips flare out a little bit. Most guys are all corners. Sharp angles. You're, you're a bit softer." He took a deep breath and continued. "I can always tell when you're embarrassed, because your ears go red. You have cute ears." He could feel himself rambling incoherently but it was too late to stop now. "You've got these big, _big_ dark eyes."

  
He searched for Mishima's face in the dark but he'd turned it away completely, so that all he could see was the edge of his jaw. "But I mean, I don't like you for just how you look. I like that you're so motivated to work on the Phan-site. You're so into it. You really want to help the people who live around here, who post on the forums. And outside the website... at school..." His voice became low and warm. "You got through all the shit Kamoshida put you through. You had to see him every day and you still kept showing up to practice, coming in to school, even when everyone could see you were all... all beat up. Yeah, you did what he told you to do, but you had to. No one blames you for that. And even now that it's all over, you still show up. Even though it's all out in the open and everyone knows what was going on, what happened to you, you're still sitting in class every day. Up by the front, where everyone can see you."

  
He reached out in the dark and found Mishima's hand. "That makes you brave, too."

  
Mishima snatched it away and used both hands to cover his face, then made a small noise in the back of his throat. "Then why am I always fucking crying around you?!" He rolled over onto his side, away from Akira, and curled into a ball.

  
"If it's any consolation, I think the first time tonight was actually from laughing over Secret Friends."

  
"Y-yeah. I think it was too." He sniffled a little.

  
Akira waffled back and forth, indecisive, until he finally sank down behind Mishima. He drew the covers over them both and wrapped his arms around him, pressing his chest to his back once more. Just like before, he kept his hips angled away.

  
"Do you believe me now? That I like you? Do you get how many different ways I like you?"

  
A long pause. "Maybe."

  
"Do you get..." Akira moved his head forward until his lips were just behind Mishima's ear, so he could whisper. "...why kissing you would make me hard?"

  
"God, dude, how can you just say that out loud?" But Mishima was laughing a little. Maybe just out of awkwardness, but Akira would take it. He brought his hand up and started stroking the centre of Mishima's chest through his shirt again.

  
Akira lowered his voice even more, whispering. "Do you feel like you might have gotten closer to figuring something out about yourself?"

  
A much longer pause and an even quieter mumble in answer. "Maybe."

  
Something leapt in his chest and started doing cartwheels, but Akira kept his voice steady with a great deal of effort. "Did you...did you like kissing me?"

  
He watched the back of Mishima's head move up and down in a barely perceptible nod.

  
_Do or die time._ Akira steeled himself, then lifted his hand from Mishima's chest. Slowly, slowly, he trailed his fingertips down his shirt. Through the thin fabric he felt his ribcage, then his flat, soft stomach. Given all the time in the world to move a muscle, to ask him to stop, Mishima just lay still, waiting. His breathing became ragged.

  
Akira hesitated for just a moment, and then moved his fingers the final few inches to Mishima's pants. In the warm darkness, his fingers traced lightly over Mishima's length. The second Akira's fingertips found it, Mishima's breathing hitched and his cock _jumped_ , neatly fitting into Akira's palm through his pants.

  
Mishima felt the familiar inward cringe in his belly as his traitorous brain yammered in panic. _He's going to be disgusted, he's going to kick you out and send you packing, even if the trains've stopped running, and when you get back to school he won't even look at you, and -_

  
But Akira didn't stop what he was doing. He just leaned a littler closer for a better angle and kept touching him through the fabric. His fingertips found the head and squeezed lightly, until Mishima couldn't stand it anymore. "A-ah, hah, Akira, hey -"

  
In one motion, Akira finally closed the distance and pressed his hips up to Mishima's ass. He was even harder than Mishima, hard as a rock, and Mishima actually felt it throb against him as Akira brought his lips back to his ear. _"Yeah_ , Mishima?" His voice was dark and rough, and his breathing was just as ragged as Mishima's had been when he first touched him. Hearing that voice made him feel absolutely _filthy._

  
Akira didn't sound or act like this for just anyone. He wasn't pretending. It was all for him.

  
Even as his heart quailed, even as his stomach flipped over and over, Mishima raised himself up onto one elbow and rolled onto his side, towards Akira. He took his face in both hands and kissed him.

  
Akira seemed completely flabbergasted. Speechless. Mishima broke off the kiss to see what he might say, if he'd protest or push him back to where he'd been laying before, but there was just stunned silence. Mishima felt a weird, daredevil boldness awaken inside him and actually pushed Akira down, slowly, until he was flat on his back. And then he climbed on top of him.

  
Akira was laying just right for a little square of dim light from the window to catch his face. Mishima jolted a little. He had never seen this side of him before. He didn't think he _had_ a side like this.

  
Akira was scared.

  
Mishima finally remembered what he'd said earlier: that he hadn't done this with a guy before, either.

  
_Fuck it._

  
Mishima lowered his face to Akira's and kissed him again. He remembered the deep, rumbling groan he'd produced before. Could he hear it again? He pressed his lips close and kissed him deeply, but Akira had become subdued, barely responsive. It was almost as if they had traded places.

  
He broke the kiss. "Akira?" Nothing. "Are you... okay?"

  
"Yeah, Mishima." The words were the same but he sounded nothing like before. The urgency had left his voice. His voice was small and tentative.

  
"You don't sound okay. Did I, uh, knee you or something? Somehow?"

  
He shook his head.

  
"Then what -?"

  
"I just. I don't have a plan. I just did what I felt like doing again." Akira's grey eyes searched his face in the dark. "Do you _really_ like any of this? Or am I just... forcing you?"

  
Mishima was lightly straddling Akira's belly, hands resting on his chest and feeling far more comfortable there than either of them could have imagined an hour or two ago. "Do we need a plan?"

  
Akira just blinked at him wordlessly.

  
"I mean... like, if you just do what _you_ want..." He removed one of his hands from Akira's chest and placed it behind himself, feeling around.

  
"And if I just do what _I_ want -" Mishima continued, and found Akira's cock. He heard a sharp intake of breath in the dark. The angle made his fingers clumsy, and it had gone back to half mast in the interim, but his fumbling touches had an effect.

  
"-then won't we meet somewhere in the middle?" Still feeling that strange boldness, Mishima inched his hips backwards, scooting on his knees until he was in place. He hadn't the faintest idea what he was doing, but that seemed to be the running theme of the entire evening. He raised himself back up on his knees and gently, carefully, lowered himself down to the bulge in Akira's pants.

  
Another hitched breath in the dark encouraged him. He moved himself, trying various angles, until he felt Akira's cock lining up with his. _Aha..._ More warmth pooled in the pit of his stomach as his own cock hardened fully again. He perched there and lost track of time as he explored the two of them with his hands, marvelling at the differences while he gripped them lightly. It was a little hard to tell for sure, since he was feeling them through their pants, but Akira felt... kinda big. Kinda _really_ big. He wrapped his fingers around it through the fabric, lifted it from where it lay against Akira's belly, and let it go. It smacked his skin with a solid, weighty _thwap_. He swallowed thickly.

  
"Mish- " Akira's voice cracked high and he coughed and tried again. "Mishima. _What are you doing."_

  
He had almost forgotten about him."Just, uh. Checking out what you've got, I guess."

  
Akira sounded amused. "But... wouldn't you like to be able to see what you're doing? Because -" And Mishima felt two large, strong hands grab his ass from either side. "- _I_ would like to see what you're doing." He jumped, and the fingers _squeezed_ , sinking deep into his flesh. Mishima threw his head back as his cock pulsed all the way from inside him to its tip.

  
_"Hh-"_

  
"That settles it. I want to be able to see you the next time you make that noise. Grab your phone. Or mine."

  
He was off Akira and halfway to his phone before he really registered what was said. He turned back to the bed in the dark. "You're not... you don't want pictures, do you?"

  
"No. Flashlight. Set it on the floor. Get what I mean?"

  
Mishima did as he was told and fumbled his phone into flashlight mode, pointing it at the ceiling. He managed to blind himself in the process and half-fell onto the end of the bed while his eyes adjusted. While he was distracted, Akira grabbed his glasses and took him unawares; Mishima felt two hands wrap around his middle, pulling him tightly against his chest. Akira whispered huskily next to his ear, "You're amazing."

  
Mishima just let his head relax against Akira's chest and enjoyed the sensation for a moment. "So... do you still think you're pushing me? Because you're _not."_

  
"After you jumped on top of me and started just... playing with my cock? Yeah, I guess I believe you." Akira actually laughed, and Mishima thought they might finally on the same page, even as his ears burned and something writhed down low inside him to hear Akira just... casually throw words like that out there.

  
His eyes had adjusted, and he twisted to peer behind him. The phone cast a harsh blue-white light, pooling the corners of the room in black shadows. He found Akira's face and it was just him. Just his best friend, who was so worried about hurting him or pushing him or making him feel uncomfortable that he'd sat talking to him in the dark for hours. The strange boldness growing inside him still felt foreign but maybe it was there to stay, because he realized that he could stand to have Akira look at him. For now, at least. Even in such completely unexplored territory as... whatever it was they'd been doing tonight, the idea of Akira seeing him didn't seem so terrible.

  
Mishima turned to face him and knelt on the bed, pressing his lips to him. When Mishima opened his mouth to him, Akira let his hands roam. He skimmed both hands up and under Mishima's t-shirt and moved his palms up to his shoulderblades, around to his front and up to his chest. Mishima could only utter a choked gasp, breaking off the kiss, as one of Akira's thumbs grazed one of his nipples. Akira just gazed solemnly at him as he panted, and began to pull Mishima's t-shirt over his head.

  
When Mishima sat half naked, feeling Akira's intense stare on him, he wasn't given even a moment to get his bearings before Akira had pushed him flat on his back again, pressing him deeply into the mattress. He was pinned, nearly immobile, with almost all of Akira's weight flattening him. But it didn't hurt. As Akira kissed him he realized just how much taller and _broader_ Akira was; where Mishima was slim and streamlined, or plush and curvy, Akira had lean, toned muscle, solid and heavy. He took this chance to run his own hands beneath Akira's t-shirt, fingers trailing over his narrow hips and up to where the layers of muscle lay on his stomach and chest. Akira just let him, now breathing slowly and deeply next to Mishima's ear. Finally he raised himself on one elbow to meet Mishima's eyes.

  
Akira was never going to forget that face.

  
Nervous, quiet Mishima was panting steadily, red-faced, lips parted. His pupils were dilated, his eyes huge and very dark. But as he studied his face, Akira saw his dreamy, almost sleepy expression turn demanding as his eyebrows drew down. "Akira. I want to see you. All of you."

  
Akira raised himself off the bed immediately. It wasn't a request. He wriggled out of his t-shirt and had his pants' drawstrings in his hands when he caught the look on Mishima's face as he watched him, resting half upright on his elbows. He could get used to seeing that. The dreamy look in Mishima's eyes was back as they followed his hands' every move. Akira smirked and held his hands up high, dropping the drawstrings. "And what about you?"

  
"Me? I'm already -"

  
"I want to see all of you too."

  
Mishima studied his own bare chest and arms in the harsh light. Then grimaced. But Akira waited him out. They ended up undressing at the same time, just hooking their underwear down with their pants, then tossing them aside. Flat on his back and staring at the ceiling, Mishima had never felt so exposed in his life; his heart thudded in his chest, but instead of covering himself up, he covered his eyes with his forearm instead. Part of him really wanted to be back in total darkness, but this would have to do.

He felt Akira's weight settle on the bed, then shift as he placed a knee on either side of him. Strong fingers gently moved his forearm back down to the mattress. "Hey. Look at me."

  
He forced his eyes open again. Akira was kneeling over him, his thighs lightly touching Mishima's, and Mishima couldn't help but stare. His eyes were drawn like a magnet. Akira's balls hung low and heavy, flushed dark, below his -

  
"Oh _fuck_ -" Mishima muttered thickly, and clenched his eyes shut again. Nope. Couldn't do it.

  
"Wh-what?"

  
"You heard me!"

  
Mishima risked looking at Akira's face; it seemed safer than anywhere else. He was blushing more than Mishima had ever seen (but had he _ever_ seen Akira looking anything other than completely composed before today?) and his eyes were hooded behind his glasses. _He likes it when I look at him...?_

  
Akira cleared his throat. "I guess I did hear you. But was that a, a _good_ 'oh fuck', or a _bad_ 'oh fuck'?" The distinction seemed to be very important to him.

  
"Definitely a good 'oh fuck.'"

  
"I don't think I've ever gotten _that_ reaction before." Mishima kept his eyes on Akira's face as he continued to settle into a more comfortable position. _His balls are laying on my leg...! How can he just_ \- But Akira wasn't done talking.

  
"Meanwhile... you've only peeked at me, but I've gotten to look at you alllll this time..." A quintessential Akira smirk crept across his face. Mishima's eyes widened and he jolted upright to cover himself, but it was far too late. Akira's smirk widened into a devilish grin. "I mean, I knew you were pretty, but..."

  
He _hated_ that. "Oh for-" Mishima flopped violently back onto the mattress, seized Akira's pillow and slammed it over his face, pressing it in place with both hands. "Guys aren't - pretty!" He shouted, muffled. "Why are you like this?!" If he had to be exposed, it somehow felt better if his face could be covered. It didn't make sense, but there it was. He felt completely overloaded and lay still, struggling to gather his thoughts.

  
Akira just laughed and laughed at him. "You _are_ though..." From beneath the pillow Mishima heard his voice come closer, then felt his weight shift again on the bed.

  
Then he felt fingers grasp his cock.

  
_Shit shit shit_ \- With great effort, he remained still instead of flailing his legs, where Akira still seemed to be kneeling. Mishima held his breath.

  
"You're especially pretty here..." His fingers seemed to be exploring him; they wrapped all the way around him, then tugged at his foreskin gently, then squeezed the head. With his other hand he cupped his balls, then trailed his thumb along Mishima's soft inner thighs.

  
"And you're already so _sticky_..." Akira swiped a finger through Mishima's precum and then used it to stroke the head, and it was too much. Mishima's mouth betrayed him as his face whipped to the side, still beneath the pillow. " _Hnnn-_ "

  
In the silence that followed, he could actually hear Akira gulp. Mishima felt his fingers leave him and couldn't decide if he felt more disappointed or more relieved. Akira's weight lifted from the bed and a second later Mishima heard a click somewhere in the room. His weight settled back on the bed but this time he seemed to have stretched out on his side between Mishima and the wall.

  
"What did -"

  
Akira's voice was only a foot or two away now. "If you're just going to hang out under that pillow, then I'm going to turn the real lights on to see you better. Shouldn't make any difference to you if you've got that plastered to your face, right?"

  
"Why are you so _evil?"_ Mishima removed the pillow from his face just long enough to confirm that the overhead light was indeed on, and then a second longer to shoot Akira an exaggerated scowl before shoving the pillow back into place.

  
"You know, if you kissed me again, I wouldn't be able to look at you anymore."

  
The pillow was raised an inch, just enough for Mishima to glare at him before pressing the pillow down again. _No deal._ He seemed to have used up all of the boldness he'd felt a few moments ago.

  
He heard a sigh from next to him, and this time the teasing tone was gone from Akira's voice. "We did go pretty fast, huh? S'alright. Come out when you're ready." He felt the bed shift as Akira clambered over his legs, then settled at the foot of the bed.

  
Mishima was just barely able to covertly peep at Akira from beneath the pillow and through his lashes without moving an inch. He watched the muscles in Akira's back flex as he sat upright, then gathered his socks from the floor. He had one on and the other was in his right hand when he... stopped. Slowly, trying to avoid disturbing the springs of the bed, Akira twisted his torso to look back over his shoulder at Mishima, still beneath the pillow. He dropped the sock.

  
Mishima felt his eyes _crawl_ over him. From where he lay he watched Akira's face change from a neutral expression to something more like hunger. The blush on his face deepened and Akira took his lower lip between his teeth. Then he twisted the last few inches towards him, and now he could see the rest of Akira.

  
Akira's right hand was working his own cock roughly, impatiently, while his eyes remained riveted to Mishima's body. He had been nothing but gentle when he had trailed his fingertips over Mishima's length, but with his own, he was merciless. He yanked and twisted at it and when that wasn't enough, he began to fuck his hand instead. A hiss escaped between his teeth, and his hips bucked off the bed.

  
_No, not yet_ \- Mishima realized that they'd been touching each other for what felt like ages, but that most of it had been pretty one-sided. If what he suspected was true, that Akira had been hard or semi-hard all this time, he must have been absolutely aching by now. He had to act fast. Mishima flung the pillow away, rolled up to a seated position beside Akira and seized his wrist. Akira looked astonished but stopped at once, searching his face. Mishima relaxed his fingers a bit. "...can I?"

  
Akira just flopped on his back and let him finally get a good look.

  
The tiny glimpse he'd gotten before, before he'd freaked out and retreated again, hadn't done Akira's cock justice. Mishima took his balls in his palm, warm and surprisingly heavy, and heard Akira mutter and sigh something inaudible. He moved his fingers upwards, tracing a bluish vein, before he reached the edge of the foreskin, smooth to the touch and stretched tight. Mishima's eyes went wide. The head of Akira's cock was dark purple and throbbing with arousal, and every time he wrapped his fingers around the shaft, more and more clear precum drooled out and slicked the underside. It was mesmerizing.

  
Then he remembered what Akira had done to him when he'd been inspecting his cock earlier.

  
He leaned closer and wrapped his hand around the shaft. There was so much precum that he was able to coat almost the entire palm and fingers of his right hand with it. Akira took his timid ministrations as best he could, but at last he couldn't help but make a needy whimpering. He clapped his hand over his mouth but it was too late. Mishima had heard.

  
"You uh. You like this, huh?" Mishima stopped to lick his lips. Seeing Akira laid out like an invitation like this, stomach muscles taut, _whimpering_ , did wonders for his resolve. When Akira shut his eyes Mishima gathered his nerve, leaned down, and took the head in his mouth.

  
He felt Akira tense and relax again, trying to stay still. Mishima dragged his tongue up the rigid edges of the head, then lapped at the underside, tasting his precum. He felt a little encouraged when he noticed Akira's hips quivering, as if he had to keep stopping himself from thrusting. Mishima removed his mouth just long enough to clamber over Akira's legs and settle between them, then brought his lips down again. _Just do it._ He licked his lips again and took as much of Akira into his mouth as he could.

  
Akira's muffled panting filled the room. Mishima could see his hips tense and relax again as he struggled to stay still. Try as he might, Mishima could only draw his lips down around half or less of Akira's shaft before he felt the head poke the back of his throat and he had to retreat, gasping. But his right hand was still slick, so he curled his fingers around Akira's cock to make up for what his mouth couldn't cover.

  
Hand still clapped to his mouth, Akira fiercely muttered something else he couldn't quite make out. Mishima felt a little bolder again and hummed contentedly with his mouth full.

  
"Mishima..." Akira's voice broke and he just panted even louder.

  
He hummed assent and tried to find a rhythm, pressing his tongue to the slit and flicking the edges of the head as he moved up and down, feeling spit leak out the side of his mouth. He'd barely been at it for a minute before he heard Akira inhale sharply at the same time that his cock thrummed and pulsed on his tongue, and that was all the warning he got. Akira came, and came, and came, and Mishima did his best to swallow it all as it coated his tongue, but he couldn't keep up and had to turn his face to the side and cough. His timing was bad; one last spurt decorated his chest.

  
_Fuck, that was hot._

  
Somehow seeing Akira sprawled out, more than relaxed but with his cock still dripping, spurred Mishima on to be even more daring. He stayed still, crouched between his thighs, until Akira finally turned his head to look at him and opened his mouth to speak.

  
Mishima leaned down, locked eyes with Akira, and began to lap up the last few drops of cum from his cock. Akira's eyes widened, then closed, and then Mishima got his reward. That deep rumbling groan came straight from Akira's chest for the second time, even louder than before, and for the second time it seemed to bypass Mishima's brain and travel straight to his cock. He felt it flex, neglected, and sighed with his mouth full.

  
Akira seemed to have recovered a little. He sat up and pulled Mishima back up to his side until they were both sitting cross-legged on the bed.

  
Akira _laughed_ out of nowhere, loud and hard. "Where the hell did that come from?!" He drew Mishima into an awkward embrace to soften his words. "Did you find your courage?"

  
It was infectious; Mishima started to laugh too. "Um, I guess I did, didn't I?" His laughter was suddenly cut short as he realized the cold cum smearing his chest was now sticking to Akira's chest as well. "Think I'd better work on my skills though," gesturing to what he meant.

  
"I didn't exactly give you warning though. Too, uh, intense. Snuck up on me," Akira murmured and grabbed a tissue to hand to Mishima, then one for himself.

  
Mishima swiped roughly at his chest and his face, trying to wipe it all off, then stopped. "Was that... any good? For you?" He ducked his head, avoiding eye contact.

  
Akira just pushed him over again, stretched flat on his back, and settled his weight on top of him until he was pressed deeply into the mattress. He craned his neck to place a kiss on Mishima's jaw, then put his lips to his ear. "What do you think?" he whispered.

  
Mishima relaxed, his chest pressed to Akira's, his hips angled up to Akira's stomach, and his chin burrowed into Akira's shoulder. "I think, um. I think you looked happy?" he ventured.

  
A dark chuckle in his ear. "You could say that." His lips moved even closer to his ear, brushing his skin as he spoke quietly. "I haven't come that hard in a long, long time."

  
All Mishima could do was sigh happily. Akira raised his head enough to kiss him simply and deeply for a long moment, then dropped it over Mishima's shoulder again as if it were too heavy to hold up for long. When Akira spoke again his voice took on an introspective tone.

  
"I think we have one more thing to take care of though."

  
"Mm?"

  
Akira raised himself up on his elbows far enough to look him in the face, incredulous. "Are you being shy again or just playing dumb?"

  
When Mishima stayed quiet, Akira lowered his mouth to his ear again. "You're poking me in the belly with it right now."

  
"Oh. Uh, that."

  
"Yeah, _that_." He levered himself off of Mishima and knelt between his legs.

  
"Wait- "

  
He noticed the distress on Mishima's face. "You don't...?"

  
Mishima shook his head and lay still until Akira was looming over him again, hands planted on either side of his face. He didn't speak right away, instead taking hold of Akira's shoulders and drawing him back down to lay on top of him. "I just want. I think I just want this."

  
A noisy exhale in his ear. Akira sounded wryly amused. "You really don't want me looking at you? After everything we just did?"

  
"Not just that. I, um." He swallowed with great effort and mumbled almost inaudibly. "I. I like when you're on top of me. You make me feel small." He cleared his throat and turned his face away as far as he could. "In... a good way?"

  
Akira laughed a little, not unkindly, and Mishima felt it vibrate through his chest, where they were pressed together again. "If this works for you, then it works for me." But he raised himself up just enough for his arm to come between them.

  
Mishima kept his eyes shut but his mouth fell open as Akira wrapped his fingertips around the head of his cock. Akira propped himself up with one elbow and his knees, still trying to keep one side of himself pressed into Mishima, as he stroked him gently. Mishima's breathing became shallow as Akira sped up, fingers slick now. Tiny moans crept from deep in his throat, sounding more like sobs of hurt than pleasure. All at once Mishima arched his back and bucked his hips up into Akira's hand with a wet smack, straining hard, then shuddered back down to the mattress as his cock pulsed between them, coating Akira's hand. Mishima let out a harsh gasp, then lay still.

  
A moment later his voice was shrill, almost indignant. " _Shit_ , Akira."

  
Akira just laughed again.

  
Mishima stretched out his toes and bumped into his feet, realized that Akira still had only one sock on, and started to laugh too.

  
\----------

  
Akira turned out the lights again and cleaned him off; then they sprawled together in a comfortable heap, bare skin exposed as they cooled down. From beneath Akira's shoulder Mishima could just see the corner of the window. "Akira, it's _dawn."_

  
Without moving a muscle: "Oops."

  
"We didn't - we didn't even sleep!"

  
Akira moved his head just enough to kiss his neck, below his jaw. "Want another coffee?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Ann enters the mix in the next chapter - will probably be posted about a week from now.


	3. Akira is a gentleman. "He even kissed me after." Ann's got it bad.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wingman gets lonely too.

Ann and Akira had broken it off over a month ago, and she'd been relieved to find that not only could they still infiltrate Palaces just as well as they had before they started sleeping together, their friendship remained strong as well.

  
They'd mutually called it quits when, after a night or two of discussion, they'd both come to realize that they were really just close friends who'd ended up in each other's beds. There were no feelings of romantic love, just very fun sex. That might have continued as well if she hadn't noticed Akira's eyes wandering to Mishima a little too frequently, long before he'd known his own feelings. She decided to bow out gracefully and give Akira at least the appearance of space so he could see where things went, or if he even wanted to pursue things with someone else in a more conventionally romantic way. The shopping trips and curry dinners at Leblanc continued; they went back to their separate beds.

  
Ann had felt extremely mature when she'd initiated that talk with Akira about "seeing other people" and that she knew they'd "always love each other, just not in that way," keeping her suspicions about Akira's inclinations toward Mishima to herself for the time being; after all, although Akira had mentioned to her in passing that he'd had a crush on a guy or two in the past, she had no idea how Mishima might take the news if it were to come up. Better to let the two of them figure it out without her being in the way.

  
Now that she was hearing all about just how well they were getting along, she felt a little pang of... not jealousy, exactly. She really did want the best for Akira, and that included him being in a romantic relationship with someone who wasn't her. Part of being a Phantom Thief was being honest with yourself, and on the night she and Akira had broken it off, she'd done a lot of soul searching, as had he. When they'd both come to the conclusion that they could see the other on someone else's arm and still be happy for them, still remain friends and still work together, she'd known it was the truth and not a lie she was just telling herself. So she wasn't jealous. It was really just a sense of finality.

  
She wouldn't spend another night avoiding her homework while tapping out an increasingly dirty chat convo with Akira, ending with sending each other photos of the effect they'd had on each other. There wouldn't be any more massage sessions, ostensibly to work out knots and sore spots earned in Mementos but winding up with the two of them making out on the couch in his room.

  
She wouldn't ever again feel him pull off one of her boots with one hand while the other crept up her skirt, pinning her to the bed in her girly room and fingering her mercilessly. The last time she'd feel him inside her had already gone by, and she hadn't even known it at the time.

  
But she was happy for him all the same. And although she barely knew him, she felt a growing happiness for Mishima too. He deserved a distraction from the shitty people at school if nothing else. It was just that while feeling happy for each of them, she still had memories of being spoiled with both comfortable intimacy and sexual pleasure, as much as she could drink in, and now that they were gone, her house was very quiet and her big bed very empty.

  
Enough pouting. She flopped on her back onto her bed and returned to her convo.

AKIRA: I owe you big time. Crepes won't do it.  
ANN: you'll just have to surprise me with smth big  
ANN: I take it things went well  
AKIRA: You could say that.

  
Akira sent an emoji of an orange cat looking very pleased with himself, his thumbs up and wearing sunglasses.

  
ANN: guess I shouldn't pry. he's p cute tho, isn't he  
AKIRA: Well, I didn't give him any details when it came up that we'd been dating before. Probably not fair to not give him the same courtesy.  
ANN: I like him. I think he's gonna be good for you. if it comes up, you can tell him some of the stuff we did  
AKIRA: And you call Morgana a snoop! You just wanna hear about Mishima.  
AKIRA: You know I'd tell you. But I mean, I'll talk to him about it first. If you REALLY wanna know.  
ANN: well... gotta admit I'm curious. like, after what you did to him in PUBLIC I sorta thought it'd be over before it started. dunno how you got him to come around after that  
AKIRA: Laid on the charm of course.  
ANN: do you mean that smirky thing you do? or did you bust out a Nerd Fact  
AKIRA: I deny all charges.  
AKIRA: I do recall spitting coffee all over my own face though.  
ANN: better your face than his. remember that one time with me?  
AKIRA: I bought you a new jacket, didn't I?

  
A different notification - now Mishima was sending her a message.

  
MISHIMA: Hi!  
ANN: Mishima-kun! ^-^ how are ya  
MISHIMA: Really really good.  
ANN: ohhhh?  
ANN: pretend I'm waggling my eyebrows at you right now  
MISHIMA: Lol  
MISHIMA: Haha... yeah... >_>  
ANN: Akira tells me my plan was a huge success  
MISHIMA: Wait, your plan? What did you do?  
MISHIMA: And... how much has he been telling you?  
ANN: no deets, don't worry  
ANN: him and me share that stuff cuz we're buddies but he's not just gonna tell your private stuff without your permission, that's not cool  
MISHIMA: That's decent of you guys.  
MISHIMA: You should have heard the guys from the volleyball team talk about their girlfriends in the locker room.  
ANN: yeah I can imagine  
ANN: IF ANY OF IT WAS TRUE haha  
MISHIMA: Fair point lol.  
MISHIMA: So I gotta know, what was your plan?  
ANN: remember that whole you could use a confidence boost, let's practice talking to girls at Leblanc? thing?  
ANN: offer still stands if you wanna, it wasn't a lie or anything  
ANN: I think it'd be fun to go for coffee or whatev  
ANN: but yeah, that was just to give you an excuse to talk it out with Akira  
MISHIMA: You're a genius.  
MISHIMA: Cuz you're right, I really wanted to just run away and hide after we had that fight.  
ANN: well, he did tell me he kissed you in public. so I know it wasn't a "fight" exactly  
ANN: he didn't tell me anything else tho  
MISHIMA: So you guys really tell each other... everything?  
ANN: everything  
ANN: I'm not prying tho

 

She was, of course.

  
MISHIMA: I guess I kinda do wanna talk about it.  
MISHIMA: Is that weird?  
ANN: nah. everybody likes to talk about their new... whatever you guys are to each other  
ANN: Akira already said he would be fine with telling me stuff, just that he wanted to ask you first. so I think he'd be cool with you telling me  
MISHIMA: That's a relief.  
MISHIMA: You won't think I'm... gross though? Weird?  
ANN: lol no

  
_You are TOTALLY a snoop._

  
MISHIMA: Akira really helped me. I feel a lot better now.  
MISHIMA: You told me I'd have to make up with him if you and I wanted to go to Leblanc, so I just went that night without calling ahead or anything. He made us coffee and we talked for a really long time. He kept worrying that he was pushing me because I don't really know what I want.  
ANN: do you mean you don't know if you want to be dating or not?  
MISHIMA: Kinda. I don't know if I like boys or not. I don't know... anything.  
ANN: bet you got an idea now, heheh  
MISHIMA: Well I definitely know that I like Akira!  
ANN: lol  
MISHIMA: So we kept talking in the cafe, and he even turned off the lights for me.  
ANN: ???  
MISHIMA: Oh. Uh, I guess I was embarrassed for him to see me when I was so upset. I feel like people stare at me sometimes.  
ANN: oh gotcha  
ANN: then what  
MISHIMA: He, um, started touching me.  
ANN: in the cafe still?! he just... groped you?!  
MISHIMA: No!  
MISHIMA: I was... sad. So he hugged me. And held my hand.  
ANN: aww  
ANN: okay good. after kissing you outside like that I was worried you meant he like jumped you in the dark lol  
MISHIMA: Akira is a gentleman.  
ANN: ...  
MISHIMA: Kind of.  
ANN: yeah maybe with YOU lmao  
ANN: when it was me and him I was a bit more sure of what I wanted than it sounds like you are. so we kinda just jumped in with both feet  
ANN: I'm glad he's taking it slower with you tho, I think you need some more time  
MISHIMA: I don't... know if I'd call it taking it slow.  
ANN: there's more?  
MISHIMA: Yeah, we went up to his bedroom after that and he made up the couch for me.  
ANN: and???  
MISHIMA: I don't know if you wanna hear all the details.  
ANN: oh but I dooo  
ANN: but if you're uncomfortable I'm not gonna pressure you. you don't have to tell me  
MISHIMA: You won't think I'm disgusting?  
ANN: no way. as long as you don't think I'm disgusting for probly doing the same stuff with him that he did with you lol  
MISHIMA: That makes sense.  
MISHIMA: So... like, I could tell by now that he was at least trying to go slow. I was still kinda upset about things and he called me over, and we, um, snuggled.  
MISHIMA: DON'T LAUGH  
ANN: not laughing!

  
She _had_ laughed at her phone, of course, she couldn't help it, but she wasn't going to tell him that.

  
MISHIMA: Akira is my first kiss.  
ANN: AWWWW  <3  
ANN: you mean outside the diner tho? or  
MISHIMA: I hate how I acted that time though. And I didn't even kiss him back. So it doesn't count.  
MISHIMA: We... started making out in his bed?

  
She kicked her legs up and down on her bed and squealed.

  
ANN: eeeee I'm so happy for you!  
ANN: was it nice  
MISHIMA: Kind of?  
MISHIMA: I feel dumb now. But when it was happening I don't think I could believe that he really... liked me.  
ANN: a dude has you in his bed kissing you and you don't think he likes you even a little?  
MISHIMA: I know, I know! That's what he said too.  
MISHIMA: But he got  
MISHIMA: Aggggh why am I even telling you this!  
ANN: you don't have to  
ANN: we can talk about smth else

  
There was a long pause, long enough that Ann started browsing the internet and checking her email. A few minutes later, he continued.

  
MISHIMA: HE GOT HARD

  
She threw back her head and cackled, feet kicking again. _You poor boy..._

  
ANN: that's... supposed to happen tho  
ANN: um. doesn't that... happen to you sometimes?

  
She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to stop giggling. _Did he skip that day in health class?_

  
MISHIMA: If you tell anyone else what I'm telling you I'll dig a hole and bury myself.  
ANN: my lips are sealed  
MISHIMA: It, uh, happened to me too.  
ANN: then??? why would you be confused that he was too???  
MISHIMA: I dunno! I knew I liked it but I didn't think he really did! I thought he was just... helping me! I thought he was like, imagining he was with someone else. A girl.  
MISHIMA: You maybe.  
ANN: did he say smth that made you think that?  
MISHIMA: No...  
MISHIMA: I'm dumb, I know.  
ANN: pat pat  
ANN: there there  
ANN: tell me more of this Tale of Two Boners  
MISHIMA: Oh my god don't say that.  
ANN: XD  
MISHIMA: I freaked out and he... told me all the reasons he likes me.  
MISHIMA: Actually he held me down and told me he wanted to  
MISHIMA: Uh  
MISHIMA: Told me he wanted to fuck me.  
MISHIMA: And then told me why he likes me.  
ANN: ai yi yi  
ANN: he can be sort of scary sometimes can't he  
MISHIMA: YES

  
She reread what Mishima had wrote. Her left hand trailed down to her waist, hovered, then lay flat. She shouldn't.

  
MISHIMA: But then it was like he realized he was being scary and he backed off all at once. Said he was pushing me again. And I hadn't been thinking about it until then but I realized he'd been uh. Doing all the touching.  
MISHIMA: He actually looked kind of scared.  
ANN: he was really worried about losing you as a friend you know. he told me before you went over there that if you didn't like boys, that was just how it had to be, but that he really wanted to still be friends  
MISHIMA: He said that?  
ANN: yeah he did  
MISHIMA: Wow.  
ANN: yeah he doesn't just want in your pants  
MISHIMA: He kept saying that he didn't want to push me and that he wanted to at least be friends. But I guess hearing it again still helps.  
MISHIMA: Anyway. So, when he backed off I knew I had to stop being a coward. I didn't want him to think I didn't want to be there.  
MISHIMA: So I, um, sat on him and grabbedhiscock aggggh this is so embarrassing...  
ANN: WOOO go Mishima-kun!  
ANN: bet he liked that ;)  
MISHIMA: He, uh, seemed to...

  
Her left hand trailed lower and began to tug on her panties. She pulled them tight against her, back and forth, and rubbed her thighs together as a heat unfolded deep in her abdomen.

  
MISHIMA: He grabbed my ass!  
ANN: omg how could he?! how dare  
ANN: lmao  
MISHIMA: It just surprised me I guess.  
ANN: you do have a nice ass  
ANN: guess you caught Akira and me checking you out that one day  
MISHIMA: Is THAT what you guys were doing?  
MISHIMA: I mean, thanks?  
MISHIMA: You said I wasn't your type though.  
ANN: I guess you're growing on me, heheh

  
A bit of a pause as Mishima seemed to be processing new information.

  
MISHIMA: Uh, anyway. So he convinced me to undress.  
ANN: you had clothes on that whole time???  
ANN: WHY  
MISHIMA: I'm shy okay?!  
MISHIMA: I'm not much to look at, especially next to him.  
MISHIMA: How did he get those muscles?! They don't even show under his clothes.  
MISHIMA: And then he took his pants off, and...  
MISHIMA: Well I guess I don't need to tell you. You already know.  
ANN: yeah bb  
ANN: that fat cock of his is all yours now  
ANN: get it girl  
MISHIMA: What?  
ANN: nothin  
MISHIMA: I, uh, found it kind of intimidating.  
ANN: I did too  
ANN: at first  
ANN: nice to look at tho, huh  
MISHIMA: Yeah but... he seemed to like looking at me but I don't really get why. I don't... have as much to work with. Down there.  
ANN: well duh  
ANN: he's way taller than you and like, WAY bigger. his build I mean  
ANN: it would be weird if you were as big  
ANN: if that's what you mean. I'm sure you're like, proportionate  
MISHIMA: Oh. I guess that does make sense.  
ANN: and I bet he liked you just fine right?  
MISHIMA: Yeah I guess so. Kept touching me anyway.

  
It had been a while, and she felt her resolve crumbling. Her left hand crept beneath the waistband of her pajama pants and settled on her panties. Her index finger found her slit and stroked it gently through the fabric, already damp.

  
MISHIMA: But I kept hiding and then he stopped.  
ANN: hiding?  
MISHIMA: Under a pillow.  >_>  
ANN: oh Mishima-kun  
ANN: you still felt shy even then?  
MISHIMA: Yeah.  
MISHIMA: It was really hard for me, okay?  
ANN: I BET IT WAS  
MISHIMA: Oh shut up. I guess I walked into that one.  
ANN: snerk  
MISHIMA: I could see him give up and I guess he was feeling, like, pent up, because he started really... grabbing himself. Really rough.  
ANN: how so

  
She ground at her clit through her panties with the heel of her hand, fingers digging into her flesh below. Her breathing quickened.

  
MISHIMA: I dunno how to put it. It almost looked like it should have hurt. He was so wound up that his fingers were like, sinking into his cock. Super fast, super rough.  
ANN: there, see? he was like that bc of you

  
She slipped her index finger beneath her panties and slicked along her slit, stroking her lips.

  
MISHIMA: Jizz tastes really weird, doesn't it.

  
She choked back a laugh even as her finger sped up, flicking at her clit.

  
ANN: you're telling me? YOU MAKE THE STUFF  
ANN: lmao  
MISHIMA: I never tasted mine! Geeze!  
MISHIMA: It went everywheeeeere. Ugh. I gotta do better next time.

  
She allowed herself a little moan.

  
ANN: I'm sure you will  
ANN: I bet you're better at it than you think  
ANN: sucking dick I mean  
MISHIMA: You're so vulgar lol.  
MISHIMA: But, he seemed to be happy enough. He even kissed me after, even though I bet I tasted weird.

  
She thrust two fingers inside, all at once, coating them with her wetness. "Hfff..." She pistoned them in and out as the heel of her hand rubbed against her clit.

  
MISHIMA: He said he wanted to see me again. :)  
MISHIMA: Maybe I'll take you up on your offer anyway, even if it was just part of your plan. I could use your advice on how to not be so... weird. Shy.  
MISHIMA: So, wanna do coffee at Leblanc sometime?  
ANN: yeah!  
ANN: gotta go tho, ttyl  
MISHIMA: Oh, uh, okay. Thanks Takamaki-chan. Ttyl!

  
She dropped her phone immediately and yanked her pants and underwear down. She took full advantage of the better angle and drove her fingers home over and over, whining quietly, until her orgasm overtook her. When the spasms subsided she wiped her fingers off on a tissue and felt her stomach knot. _What the hell is wrong with you._ She buried her face into her pillow and tried to stop thinking about Mishima.

\----------

  
Several days later, Ann watched Akira and Mishima text each other from across the classroom. To be more accurate, she listened to Akira tap into his phone from the desk behind her and watched Mishima's ears redden as he read his. Hearing Morgana mutter, "You guys are gross" behind her just confirmed what they'd been chatting about. She grinned to herself and returned her attention to the board.

  
\----------

  
That afternoon, Ann met Mishima at the Yongen train station after school. It felt weird to head to Leblanc without Akira. They'd both invited him but he'd declined, saying he'd already promised to work out with Ryuji. He'd stuck his tongue out. "Guess you'll have to settle for coffee made by Sojiro today." Ann had just shoved him in the hallway, stuck her own tongue out in return, and left with Mishima.

  
Sojiro was indeed there, wiping the countertop in the otherwise deserted cafe. He nodded at Mishima. "Oh, you again?" He already knew Ann; if he'd guessed the reason she'd kept coming by to meet up with Akira just before closing time, he kept it to himself. "Nice to see you, Takamaki-chan."

  
Mishima introduced himself politely and ordered their coffee, refusing at first but eventually accepting when Sojiro insisted they were on the house. Ann waved him over to the booth closest to the door, which happened to be furthest from where Sojiro was leaning on the countertop and watching the news.

  
"Wellll?" She pressed as he set their drinks down. "I _saw_ you two texting in class." She looked smug. " _Try_ to be subtle, Mishima-kun."

  
"What?! I'm... I'm subtle!"

  
"If Ushimaru caught you with your phone out in his class and read the screen to everyone, would you be more embarrassed or less embarrassed than if you'd been on the Phan-site?"

  
His eyebrows shot up. "Oh. Uh. Yeah, I didn't think of that."

  
But suddenly he leaned forward in the booth, looking determined. "Hey! We're not here for you to tease me! I told you practically _everything_. When are you gonna tell _me_ something good?"

  
She just sipped her coffee quietly and let him squirm for a moment. "Something good? About what?"

  
"About... you. Who you like right now. Or, or something about -" He lowered his voice, checking to gauge how well Sojiro could hear their conversation from the other side of the room. "-you and Akira."

  
"You wanna go into detail _here?"_

  
"Just like, send me a chat message if it's something you shouldn't say out loud."

  
_More Futaba-mode communication..._ But she had to admit it was the stealthiest way. "Well, okay. But talk out loud when you can. We're here for 'conversation lessons', remember?"

  
He fiddled with a napkin in front of him. "Maybe I don't need 'em after all. I feel like I can talk to you at least. And, well, if I keep seeing Akira, maybe I won't really need to know how to talk to girls anyway."

  
An evil grin spread over Ann's face. "Going that well, huh? Not just a one night stand?"

  
"W-well, I guess we didn't talk about, like, our relationship status yet...? When are you supposed to do that?"

  
"Apparently never, if you look at me and him. We just... spent time together. Other people probably would've thought we were dating, like officially, romantically dating, but." She shrugged.

  
He flopped back into the booth, sprawling. "So _not_ boyfriend and girlfriend? Maybe that's what Akira wants with me too. Just, uh, having fun together."

  
She raised her eyebrows, resting her chin on her hands. Her interest was piqued. "Is that what _you_ want?"

  
He hid his face in both hands. "Ugh. I don't-"

  
"-know what I want," she repeated in sync with him. When he peeped between his fingers to scowl at her, she just threw back her head and laughed.

  
"Sorry. You're cute when you're mad."

  
He just scowled harder. "Don't tease me, Takamaki-chan."

  
"Hey. Just Ann is fine."

  
To her surprise he looked away and grimaced. "I'd like to. But I don't really like my first name, so is it okay if...?"

  
"If you stay Mishima? 'Course."

  
He gave her a sweet, honest smile, very different from his guarded expressions at school. Her stomach turned over and she quickly smiled back.

  
_Oh no... What was THAT?_

  
_You can't fall for him. You just can't._

  
Suddenly he pointed a finger in her face. "You! Are dodging my question!"

  
"Uh, what?"

  
He steepled his fingers and peered down his nose at her like some kind of villain. _"Who_... do you like at school?" He squinted. "Bet it's... Sakamoto."

  
"Barf. Ryuji? Why does everyone think that?"

  
He blinked, taken aback. "Well, you hang out a lot for not even being in the same class. And you sorta squabble like you like each other."

  
"That means nothing. We've been friends since I moved here in middle school." She rolled her eyes. "And we did try dating. Lasted a week."

  
"Really? I never heard about that. What went wrong?"

  
"Nothing really went wrong... just, you know, incompatible. He's _so_ immature." She started running her fingers through her hair. "Like, we're friends. Don't get me wrong. But it was nothing like how I could be both friends and more than friends like I was with Akira."

  
At 'both friends and more than friends,' his eyes tipped to the ceiling, considering something. "Do you think that happens often? People just, like, hooking up or whatever but not needing to be in love. And no jealousy either, if it ends."

  
"Like with me and him?" Mishima nodded, and she considered the question. "I mean, I think it _can_ happen. Cuz you're right, I don't feel jealous of you and him at all."

  
He sighed and laid his forehead down on the table. He spoke directly into the tabletop and it echoed back weirdly, amplified. "That's a big relief. I thought you might be though. When you kept asking for details about how me and Akira were, like, grabbing-"

  
Ann kicked him in the shin with the toe of her boot, hard, under the table. Then smiled at him, saccharine sweet, and gestured with her head to Sojiro standing less than a dozen feet away.

  
He gulped and they both picked up their phones.

  
MISHIMA: Oops.  
ANN: v smooth  
MISHIMA: Good catch though.  
ANN: anyway. if we're doing text, it uh. makes it easier to confess something to you  
MISHIMA: What is it?  
ANN: I didn't know it was going to happen. please please believe me when I say I don't wanna come between you two. I think you guys are good together  
MISHIMA: But...?  
ANN: I wanna be your friend, so I'll just be honest about it. I think I'm starting to like you. or like, I'm into you

  
She put as much heartfelt apology as she could into her expression as she looked at him over the table.

  
ANN: not romantically. I don't think so anyway. more like how I was into Akira, before

  
He gawked at her, speechless.

  
MISHIMA: You mean you don't want to date me but you do want to...?

  
She just nodded.

  
ANN: I mean, maybe? like  
ANN: ugh, this was gross of me. I hope you don't hate me. but, I'll just... tell you  
ANN: when I pressed you for details about you and Akira I was being nosy. but, uh, there were ulterior motives too

  
His face hardened a little, suspicious.

  
MISHIMA: What, are you passing around what we did? Did you tell someone?  
ANN: no! definitely not  
ANN: I'm not like that. I'm not like those shitty gossips at school

  
He nodded at her, looking relieved, and waited for her to go on.

  
ANN: but  
ANN: I, um, found it p hot  
ANN: I may have been, um  
ANN: you know  
MISHIMA: I really don't.  
ANN: for fuck's sake Mishima  
ANN: thinking about you and Akira turned me on, okay?

  
She stuck her phone in her pocket and booked it for the washroom, pigtails flying.

  
Sojiro quirked an eyebrow at Mishima, who could only attempt to shrug innocently, his face beet red.

  
Ann took a long time to come back to the booth, feeling a bit more composed.

  
MISHIMA: So while I was telling you all that the other day, you felt...? Just from reading chat messages?

  
She nodded contritely at him.

  
ANN: ugh, I'm sorry. it just... happened. when I started asking you how it went I just wanted to know because I wanted things to go well for you and him  
MISHIMA: And you felt turned on, so then you started...?

  
A _big_ nod from her across the table.

  
MISHIMA: Whoa.  
MISHIMA: So you were thinking about what you used to do with Akira, and?  
ANN: no no. not just him. I was, um, picturing the two of you  
ANN: together  
MISHIMA: Me? Why me?  
ANN: how many times do I have to call you cute before you believe it?  
MISHIMA: I didn't think 'cute' meant THAT though!  
ANN: okay then, I think you're hot?  
ANN: ugh. sexy?

  
He straightened up in the booth and gave her a truly dopey grin, face even redder than before, if that was possible.

  
MISHIMA: Well aren't I Mr. Popular.  
MISHIMA: Dunno what I've been doing lately to attract all this attention but I guess I'd better keep it up, huh?

  
_Is he actually flattered?_

  
The tension melted away and they finished their coffees in silence, preoccupied with their thoughts.

  
She cleared her throat delicately. "So, like, I hope we can continue- " She waggled her hand vaguely between the two of them, then expanded the gesture to the rest of Leblanc. "-this. Being friends. Without it... being weird."

  
His face fell. "I think what we really gotta worry about is how Akira feels. I can still see myself being friends with you even if you, uh, like me, but I wouldn't want him to think something more is going on when it isn't."

  
"Yeah, I think I'll just... show him our chat convo the next time I see him, if it's okay with you."

  
He let out a low whistle. "You really _do_ share everything with him, don't you?"

  
"Definitely. And if he thinks it's weird, if he thinks we're like, sneaking around behind his back, then I'll back off. We'd have to be school friends only."

  
His eyes lit up. "Ooh, 'Secret Friends...'" She tilted her head a little and he smiled. "Uh, nothing."

  
They gathered up their things and left, parting ways when their trains came.

  
\----------

  
Two days later, Mishima hunched at the desk in his room, one foot curled beneath him, as he tapped at his phone.

  
MISHIMA: So she showed it to you today?  
AKIRA: Yeah.  
MISHIMA: Pretty, uh, wild huh?  
AKIRA: Maybe not.  
AKIRA: What do you think of Ann? She told me you said she wasn't your type.  
MISHIMA: I guess I didn't mean it though. I just said it because she said it first.  
MISHIMA: Like, what else do you say when someone says you're not their type out of nowhere?  
MISHIMA: I like Ann. Without her I might not have, uh, gotten to know you better.  
AKIRA: Not that, dummy.

  
Akira sent him an emoji of a cat sticking out its tongue to soften the insult.

  
AKIRA: Physically.  
AKIRA: Actually, what do you even think of girls in general?  
AKIRA: Think you're bi like me?  
MISHIMA: Sigh. Dunno. Why is this so hard for me?  
AKIRA: That's what she said. Actually, that's what you said when you were up in my room last.  
MISHIMA: What?  
AKIRA: Nothin.  
MISHIMA: So like... I like Ann. I'd like to get to know her better. I think we could be friends.  
MISHIMA: Are you okay with that though? After she said she did... that... while chatting with me?  
MISHIMA: I guess I'm asking if that makes you jealous. I don't really know what our, like, status is.  
AKIRA: I don't... know either?

AKIRA: You wanna be exclusive?

  
Mishima exhaled noisily. It hadn't really occurred to him that that was an option - to _not_ be exclusive, to _not_ limit himself to Akira and Akira only.

  
MISHIMA: Wow.  
MISHIMA: Uh. Like, what would INclusive look like?  
AKIRA: Well, we're just talking here. Just throwing out ideas. So don't think I'm pushing for one way or the other. I wanna hear what you think first.  
AKIRA: Do you feel any attraction to Ann?

  
Mishima stared at his screen for a very long time.

  
MISHIMA: I found her intimidating before. I never pictured her even speaking to me outside of class until the last couple of weeks.  
MISHIMA: But I like talking to her. And of course she's pretty.  
MISHIMA: And when she told me she was actually... when we were talking... like, yeah, that's pretty flattering.  
MISHIMA: I thought she just meant she was remembering spending time with you, but no, she said she thinks I'm sexy.  
AKIRA: Cuz you are.  
MISHIMA: Oh shut up.  
MISHIMA: I just mean that... like, if I thought she was gross or something, I wouldn't feel flattered to hear that, right?  
AKIRA: Flattered to hear what? To hear that a literal model was masturbating at the thought of you naked and hard in my bed?  
MISHIMA: GOD YOU TWO ARE THE WORST.

  
He sent an emoji of a STOP sign.

  
AKIRA: Okay, okay. But this presents an interesting idea, right?  
MISHIMA: What?  
AKIRA: Exclusivity doesn't have to be the default. As far as I'm concerned, I'm liking what you and me have. I'd like to keep going with you, see where we end up.  
AKIRA: But like, from what you've shown me, and told me, Ann's interested in you.  
AKIRA: What if you and her tried some things out?  
MISHIMA: I'm guessing you don't mean like, going out to eat somewhere. Or going to the movies.  
AKIRA: I mean, you could.  
AKIRA: I meant more like what you and me were doing the other day.  
MISHIMA: But I'm really happy with you.  
MISHIMA: Like, sorry if that sounds clingy...? I know it hasn't been very long.  
AKIRA: Not clingy. I'm really happy with how things are going so far too.  
AKIRA: But we can keep on the way we have been, and you could get to know Ann better too.  
AKIRA: I don't think I'd be jealous. I'd be happy for you two.  
MISHIMA: And if you realized it DID make you jealous?  
AKIRA: Then we'd talk about it. If nobody's hiding anything then there's nothing to be jealous about, right?  
MISHIMA: This is so weird.  
AKIRA: Take some time to think about it. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. She'll understand if you just wanna be friends.  
MISHIMA: In the mean time... wanna go out for dinner somewhere tomorrow? I won't let you pay this time!

  
\----------

  
Later that night, Ann sat alone in front of the TV in her living room, not paying it any attention.

  
MISHIMA: He seemed to take it really, really well.  
ANN: Akira's cool like that  
ANN: and yeah, when I showed him the convo he like, wasn't even SURPRISED  
ANN: so... he really said that tho? he suggested you and me, uh, spending time together?  
MISHIMA: Yeah, it was his idea!  
ANN: and what do you think?  
ANN: if it ends up too weird there'd be no hard feelings. like, do you even like girls?  
MISHIMA: I think I do?  
MISHIMA: I've never had a girlfriend, like I said before.  
ANN: yeah but, you must... watch porn right? guys do that  
MISHIMA: Both of you are so blunt, eesh.  
MISHIMA: I, um, tried it, years ago. And I think I gave up on it right away because I thought I was looking at the guys too much instead of the girls, lol.  
MISHIMA: I can laugh about it now, but. Yeah. Just made me uncomfortable.  
ANN: so you don't look at anything like that...?  
MISHIMA: Uh  
MISHIMA: Does ero-manga count?  
ANN: XD  
ANN: yes I think it does  
ANN: any common theme to what you like?  
MISHIMA: No...  
MISHIMA: I like it if it's well-written?  
MISHIMA: What manga do you like?  
MISHIMA: OMG I know what you like, don't tell me!  
MISHIMA: You're into BL manga, aren't you. ;)  
ANN: what! boys love manga???  
ANN: dude, not all girls like BL  
ANN: don't be like that  
MISHIMA: I didn't say that just because you're a girl lol.  
MISHIMA: You reeeeeally don't like BL? Are you suuuuuure?  
ANN: oh shit because I was...? while you were telling me about you and Akira?  
ANN: well, uh, fuckin touche then lmao  
ANN: maybe I have a new genre to check out  
MISHIMA: We should go manga shopping sometime.

  
She smiled to herself in the dark living room and felt some of the loneliness she'd been experiencing for the last few weeks lift away.

  
ANN: it's a date  
ANN: BUT  
ANN: I'm more interested in, ahem, getting to know you better in a different way  
ANN: my house is empty on Sundays you know  
MISHIMA: I, uh, like you. For sure as a friend, at least. But I feel like I just met you. Or just got to know you.  
ANN: I'm not asking for a boyfriend tho  
ANN: oh hey. idea. do you know what experimenting is?  
MISHIMA: I'm gonna assume you're not talking about wanting to be my lab partner in science class.  
ANN: heh. nah it's a thing you do when you go away to college. or some Americans seem to do it anyway. it's like, once you're away from everyone who knows you, you can take some time to figure out what you like. so there's no one to judge you for who you sleep with or what you're into  
MISHIMA: Weird. I've never heard of that. Do college students do that here?  
ANN: I bet they do and they just keep it quiet  
ANN: but it's just like, trying things out. trying out being gay is a common one. but if you tried something out and it wasn't for you, you'd just go back to the way you were before. it doesn't have to change you or be permanent  
MISHIMA: I guess I kinda did that with Akira without knowing what it was called.  
ANN: yeah maybe  
ANN: but like, couldn't you and I do that? if you didn't like it, if I didn't turn you on, we could just watch movies or smth and then go back to school the next day  
ANN: wouldn't have to be weird at all. I think we already get along well enough that we could just hang out whatever the answer is  
MISHIMA: I wish I had known what that was before. I think I'd have been a lot less freaked out at Akira's place.  
MISHIMA: You know what?  
MISHIMA: I'll come over on Sunday then.  
MISHIMA: I said to Akira that I won't know what I like until I try new things to find out. If I freak out again we'll... braid each other's hair or something? Lol  
ANN: aw yiss  
ANN: bring your jammies and we'll have ourselves a sleepover c: <

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is much less chat convo-heavy! If Ann is not your thing, don't worry - it's not just an Ann-centric fic for the rest of the storyline.


	4. Minor setback. Tit for tat. "I didn't know girls liked that."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ann gets her time in the sun.

To Ann's surprise he really _did_ bring his pajamas.

  
"I was joking! Oh my god, Mishima." She was laughing, though not derisively.

  
He looked stressed out already, eyebrows drawn together and shoulders hunched. He must have really had to psyche himself up just to show up at her door. "Well it's not my fault! It's hard to tell if you're joking in text!"

  
"I'm just teasing you." Ann poked her head out the door and peered up and down the street at her neighbours' houses, making sure no one was outside to see her receiving a 'gentleman caller,' as Akira had sometimes referred to himself when he'd come over. The coast was clear. "C'mon in." She hooked her arm through Mishima's and pulled him inside.

  
He padded after her as she led him straight to her bedroom, where he set his bag of clothing in the corner. "You've got an interesting house, Ann. It's really Western inside."

  
"Yeah, I guess so? My parents had a lot of it remodeled. Bathroom especially."

  
"They're not... here, right?"

  
"Told you, they're gone for weeks at a time. There's a live-in caretaker they hired who cooks and cleans and stuff, but her shift's done and tomorrow's her day off, so she's at her boyfriend's place." She raised one eyebrow at him and watched his face carefully. "We can be as looooud as we want."

  
Standing a little closer to her, he smiled but couldn't look her in the eye anymore. She took him by the hand and sat on the bed, patting the spot next to her.

  
He finally sank down onto the mattress, awkwardly, but put a lot of space between the two of them. "You're really sure about this?" He was still smiling as he looked at the floor.

  
Ann reached out and gently pulled him closer. "Experimenting, remember? We'll either have some fun and you might learn something new about yourself, or we'll watch some TV out in the living room and still have some fun that way."

  
He looked grateful for having been given an out. "I just... ugh, I don't even know what to do with a girl. I'm in your room sitting on your _bed_ -" She interrupted him by grabbing his hand and placing it on her bare thigh, between her skirt and the top of her long socks.

  
He stared at his hand and then finally met her eyes again. "Ann-" _He's freaking out._

  
She flashed him her best reassuring smile. "Okay with you if I start us off then?"

  
He took a long, steady breath and then nodded, eyebrows drawn together again and frowning.

  
"Mishima. _Relax."_ She stood and dropped herself into his lap, straddling him. Then she draped her arms over his shoulders and kissed him.

  
"Mm-!" His shoulders stiffened and for a second she was certain that he'd shrug her off; but slowly, slowly, he dropped them back down and moved his hands behind him, propping the two of them up. She placed delicate, close-mouthed kisses on his lips and he finally began to respond.

  
_His lips are really soft._ He was being so gentle and tentative that she felt a little surge of impatience, but reminded herself that he wasn't Akira and also that he wasn't as experienced as she was. She'd have to go slow.

  
One of her hands stroked his shoulder; the other found his hair. The second it did, he froze up again.

  
"You okay?" He nodded quickly and went straight back to kissing her. This time he was bolder. The tip of his tongue gently pressed her lips apart; she sighed and let him in. Her fingers trailed across the back of his neck and, at last, plunged into his hair, tugging gently.

  
The effect was immediate. He _groaned_ straight into her mouth. At the same time, his hips canted upward and she felt pressure tenting his increasingly tight khakis.

  
_That's more like it._ Without giving it a second thought she angled her own hips downward and grinded against him, rubbing herself against him through her panties until his own hips responded, thrusting upwards.

  
He broke off, panting and looking panicky. "Geeze, sorry, I-"

  
She was surprised to find that she was panting too. _It's been way, way too long._ "Sorry for what? Oh, _this?"_ Looking him straight in the eye, she deliberately rolled her hips against him again. He didn't seem to be able to reply; all he could do was fling his head back and gasp.

  
She took pity on him and gave him a moment to catch his breath. He was trying to avoid her eyes again. She leaned forward to meet him and brought her wet lips to his throat, trailing kisses up the side of his neck until, gently, she took his earlobe between her teeth. "Mishimaaaa... what did you come here for?" Her husky voice went straight to his cock; she felt it move through his pants against her. But he just flopped all the way back onto the bed and covered his eyes with his forearm, face dark with embarrassment. As she readjusted her weight to stand up from straddling his lap, she placed a hand on his chest to steady herself and felt his heart pounding like mad. At her touch he jerked and then simply lay there, breathing shallowly.

  
She scolded herself. _You still went too fast, stupid! Time for the backup plan._

  
"Sit tight. I've got something to help you relax." Then she was gone.

  
His khakis left very little to the imagination in his current state. As soon as she left he immediately tried in vain to tug his shirt over his erection; when that didn't work he simply rolled onto his side, trying to hide it. _Oh god she felt it, it TOUCHED her, shit shit shit_ \- At the last second he decided to sit up straight with his knees drawn up, feet flat on the bed, and hid it that way.

  
When she returned, she held an extra tall silver can in each hand.

  
His eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "How did you get _beer?"_

  
At least now he was looking at her. "My live-in caretaker drinks a bit when her shift is done. I take one or two from the fridge every now and then and she doesn't say anything as long as I don't do it too often."

 

"Um, wow." He took a can from her and studied her face. "I've never really drank before..."

 

She stuck her tongue out. "It's _very_ easy." She popped the tab and took a slug to show just how easy it was. He slowly followed suit with his and took a tiny sip, then grimaced.

 

 _Maybe he just needed a time out. He seems a bit more chill now._ "Yeah, not my fave taste either. Gets the job done though. The more you drink, the better it tastes."

 

  
He settled back on his elbows and stretched his legs out and off the edge of the bed, distracted from his doubts by the Sapporo, and she took the opportunity to eye his tented pants appreciatively. _What was he so worried about?_ When he took a longer pull from his beer she did the same and then stretched out on her back perpendicular to him, so that her legs flopped across his thighs. He grunted quietly, surprised, but said nothing. _Maybe if I just stare at the ceiling for a bit instead of him, he'll feel more at home._

  
"Still feeling shy, Mishima?"

  
Even though she wasn't looking in his direction, he turned his face away and pressed it to his shoulder. "Yeah. Guess so."

  
"Sorry. I'm used to going fast. We can just hang out though, tonight."

  
She felt the bed shake a little as he nodded. They drank in silence until he turned his head back in her direction, though his eyes remained on the ceiling. "What did you and Akira get up to in, in your room?" _Uh, not what I thought you'd want to chat about, but okay?_ He could be surprisingly straightforward at times.

  
"We'd sometimes drink a bit, just like this. Not every time, but sometimes."

  
"Oh, but. You said this was to relax me, so. Did you need to relax around him, sometimes?"

  
She laughed and sat up a little to take another pull, letting the bubbles flood her mouth before sluicing down her throat. "Was I nervous, you mean? Yeah." Her fingers crept across her frilly bedspread and found his free hand, the one not holding his beer. She wrapped two of her fingers around two of his. "Sometimes."

  
He sighed softly and gripped her fingers back.

  
The alcohol warmed her up and settled her nerves, as it usually did. "Akira can be really... _intense,_ sometimes. I'd only had a little experience before him, so I felt like I needed some help the first time I had him in my room." She lifted her can and sloshed it. "Liquid courage, right?"

  
He laughed a little too loud at what was not really a joke at all, so she raised herself up to try to peer at his face. Pretty red. _Yuki Mishima, are you drunk already?_ She flopped back too abruptly and giggled at herself: tipsy, maybe. _Maybe I'm not one to talk._

 

She tried to keep her voice low and supportive. "Do you think I'm scary? Is there something you're worried will happen?"

  
He finished off his can, set it on the floor and laid on his back, stretching out his arms. The mattress shook again as he seemed to be talking with his hands. "Just... the usual shit. That I'll wreck everything. That I'll do something, like, disgusting and we won't be friends anymore." A short, harsh laugh. "If you want something specific, I'm kind of afraid that I'll hurt you."

  
She stretched out her legs, pointing her toes in her long socks, and laid them back onto his warm thighs. "If it makes you feel better, Akira did that."

  
He sat up, his stomach pressing into her legs, and gaped at her. "He what?"

  
"Not his fault. Or it was maybe both my fault and his fault." Ann took advantage of his distracted state to slide her legs off of his and then crawl across the bed. She curled up on her side and lay next to him, not quite touching him and facing away. He'd come to her if he wanted to.

  
She let out a relaxed sigh, feeling loose and happy. "You said you'd seen a _little_ porn at least, right? You know how they sorta go at it like crazy and the guy usually just, like, slams it in? No warning or anything?" He murmured that he knew what she meant. "Yeah, uh, don't be like Akira and do that." She giggled, no trace of venom in her voice. "He didn't know any better. _I_ didn't know any better. But _shiiiiiit_ did it hurt. Sorta put a damper on things that night."

  
The bed shook as he shifted, and she felt his hand rest on the mattress just behind her, holding up some of his weight. "Geeze, Ann, I'm sorry. I didn't know that either." She heard him swallow behind her. "I might have, I might have done that too , if we did... that."

 

"S'okay. I think that lots of guys probably think that. Porn's like make-believe in some ways. I felt fine the next day."

  
The mattress moved again and he settled behind her on his side. Slowly, cautiously, his hand crept to her hip, where his thumb stroked the inch or two of skin between her skirt's waistband and where her t-shirt had pulled up. _Well, that's a step in the right direction._

  
He cleared his throat. His speech wasn't really slurred but she could tell that he was at least a little affected by the beer; he spoke slowly and his hand felt very warm. "What's, what's the real way to do it then? So the girl doesn't get hurt?"

  
She felt a little loopy and suppressed a laugh. _Dr. Ann will teach you, bb._ "C'mon, Mishima. You can say the words. Why, I simply can't begin to imagine what you mean by 'it'."

  
"You always have to tease me..." But he didn't sound upset. He spoke in a hushed tone, just above a whisper, but his voice was steadier than she had expected. "How should the guy put his cock in so he doesn't hurt the girl?"

  
She put her hand on his where it still rested on her hip and scooted backwards toward him, just an inch or two, still not facing him. "You know how girls get wet, right?"

  
Tentatively, "Kind of?" She could feel his hot breath on the back of her neck, probably just as boozy as hers was.

  
"Well, usually, some foreplay is needed before, um, the guy can go in. Like, not all girls are the same? But I think it helps most girls. So like, her pussy has to be wet enough and it helps if the guy does something to loosen her up first too." She heard his breath catch in his throat and felt his hand on her hip falter before he went back to rubbing his thumb across her skin. _Someone likes dirty talk..._

  
"And how... how should he loosen her up?" His voice was decidedly less steady now.

  
She grinned in anticipation and listened behind her carefully. "Akira used to like fingering me. He'd start slow, and sort of tease me open until I was good and wet. Then he'd take his first two fingers-" She raised her hand so he could see what she meant. "-and just _fuck_ me silly with them." She felt great satisfaction as his breathing stopped altogether, then resumed, rougher than before. She waited patiently to hear his voice again.

  
But he surprised her. He moved his hand from her hip to her shoulder, then rolled her over until she was flat on her back, staring him in the face. His dark eyes caught hers. He wore a deadly serious expression, eyebrows drawn together again, but not with nervousness this time.

  
"Ann. Come here," was all he said before he carefully climbed on top of her and kissed her, hard. She sighed into his mouth, perfectly content.

  
_You're not a bad kisser, Mishima. For a newbie._ He kissed more urgently this time, harder and faster, and it wasn't long at all before she felt his cock pressed firmly against her again. She shifted carefully, and when it touched the bare skin of her thigh, she could feel warmth emanating from it through his pants. Her hands were free to roam under his shirt, up and back again, until she remembered something he'd said Akira had done. If her mouth wasn't already so busy she'd have grinned an evil grin at the thought of it. She timed it carefully until he'd pressed against her lips particularly deeply, and then pounced - she grabbed his ass, hard, and pulled his hips down to hers while arching her back, angling her hips up. She dragged his cock across herself excruciatingly slowly until, even through her panties and his pants, she felt it throb against her.

  
He broke the kiss and arched against her, seemingly involuntarily. He panted helplessly, inches from her ear, as she angled her hips up to him again and again until he let out her name in a whine. _"Annnnn..."_

  
Now that her face was free, she made sure he was looking down at her before she gave him her best conniving grin. Then she plunged her fingers into his hair and _pulled,_ timing it perfectly to thrust her hips up at him at the same time.

  
He shuddered, made a choked, crackling noise in the back of his throat that may have been half of a word - "...ck-k-k..." - and went boneless on top of her.

  
_Oops._

  
His head hung limp over her shoulder, and she craned her neck to try to gauge his face. "Mishima?"

  
She laid a kiss on his eyebrow, the only part she could reach. "Hey, Mishima. Guess I did my job a bit too well, huh?"

  
He finally raised himself onto his knees and elbows and made himself face her. "That wasn't... that's not how _that_ was supposed to go, huh?" He tried to make it sound like a joke but his eyes were becoming panicky again, his face wincing.

  
She solemnly gazed up at him and shook her head, but then ruined the effect by giggling in his face. "Good thing I told you to bring your jammies after all!" He looked crestfallen and wouldn't look at her, but she just kissed him again and smiled. "Hey. Knock that off. Bathroom's at the other end of the hall. You want some ice cream?"

\----------

  
After he'd changed into the loose t-shirt and shorts that he'd brought to sleep in, they settled into her family's two slippery leather couches and watched trashy late night TV for an hour or so, eating grotesquely huge bowls of ice cream and laughing over not much of anything. While he'd been changing in the bathroom, she'd covertly stepped out of her sticky panties and put on a fresh pair. Even as she sat watching TV, her clit throbbed now and then, trying to convince her to go back to what she'd started. But Mishima looked so much more at ease sitting out in the living room, out of the charged atmosphere of her bedroom, that she managed to convince herself to go easy on him and take it slow.

  
She still felt uncomfortably slick though, and she excused herself to the bathroom to pee and attempt to clean herself up a bit. On her way back, she sat beside him instead of returning to the separate couch she'd been sitting on before. Still looking at the TV, she draped her arm around him and drew him close, until her head rested on his shoulder. He just drew his knees up to his chest and hunched his shoulders.

  
"O-oh, hey..." He gave her a shaky smile. "That wasn't cool of me before. I'm sorry."

  
"What wasn't cool of you, exactly?" She'd get him to use his words _someday._

  
"You know. C-coming in my pants like a dumb kid." He smiled ruefully and ducked his head away, staring ahead at a car commercial on the TV.

  
"I think we can both take the blame for that one."

  
"You're not - you don't think I'm-" He hid his head further, burying his face in his arms folded on top of his knees. "-gross?"

  
He was too cute. She couldn't help herself. She had to see him squirm. So she shrugged at him and said, nonchalantly, "If I can swallow the stuff, and got Akira to pump me full of it on multiple occasions, I think I can stand to be in the same room as yours."

  
He screamed quietly into his hands and then couldn't help but start laughing. "How can _you_ be so gross?!" Then he swatted her arm with a throw pillow. She immediately got him back in the face and they called a truce.

  
He stretched his bare legs out in front of him again and she did the same, comparing. "We're like, the same size, Mishima."

  
He scowled, but his heart wasn't in it. "Yeah yeah, I know I'm short."

  
"Nah, it's not a bad thing." She squinted at his legs in the blue light from the TV. "You're pretty smooth too, for a boy." She smirked. "Your legs look like mine in the winter. Before I started being booked for shoots all the time, anyway."

  
"Well, I don't shave mine!" Then, grinning at last: "You're just comparing me to Akira again. He's not, like, super hairy, but he's hairier than me for sure."

  
"Yeah, like here, and here-" She gestured to her chest, then her belly. "You don't even have that much?"

  
"Nah. Not really."

  
She seemed to be trying to calculate something, assessing his body until he grew uncomfortable and looked away. "What?"

  
"Just..." Her voice softened and she smiled at him. "I never got to see you. I'd like to."

  
He returned it. For once he didn't look defensive, or freaked out, or embarrassed. Just content. He looked her in the eye. "I'd like to see you too. If you'll give me another shot."

  
She shut the TV off, took him by the hand, and led him back to her bedroom.

  
\----------

  
They lay side by side on her big girly bed, fingers linked again. She spoke up first. "Think we'd better go a bit slower this time, huh?"

  
He turned to face her, his face open and relaxed again. "Yeah, or do something different. There's so many things I haven't gotten to try yet, you know?"

  
She leered at him. "Like whaaaaat?"

  
He could only roll forward and bury his face into her shoulder, his voice muffled. "You just wanna embarrass me."

  
"Well that _is_ pretty fun, I gotta say." She rolled onto her side and met him the rest of the way, resting her chin on the top of his head and wrapping both arms around him. His arms were trapped between them but he just accepted the embrace as he was. "If you want a suggestion -" But she noticed a change in his breathing and trailed off. A moment later she realized what must have caught his attention.

  
She felt his thumb gently skim across her nipple through her thin cotton shirt. _Uh, I guess I did just press his face directly into my cleavage..._

  
"-but, um, this is fine too," she finished lamely.

  
He didn't seem to hear her. She released him but he was content to stay more or less where he was. Given a little more elbow room, he rolled her breast in his palm, studying how it moved beneath her shirt. All she could do was watch him watch her, his face fiercely intent.

  
But suddenly his face whipped upwards to glare at her. "Hey!"

  
"W-what?"

  
"You're not wearing a bra!"

  
"Why is that a problem?!" She bit her cheeks, trying not to laugh in his face again.

  
"I just, uh, pictured you wearing one. If things got this far."

  
"What, are you disappointed? If anything, this makes things easier, doesn't it?"

  
He was still playing with her nipple through her shirt, pinching it lightly and rolling it beneath his fingers. She felt her face heat up.

  
Mishima's face tipped up to hers again and he gave her a knowing look. "Do you usually not wear one at home? Or did you leave it off because you knew I was coming over?"

  
"You got me."

  
"I knew it!" He finally gripped her whole breast at once and squeezed lightly. She let out a shuddering breath and pressed her face into his hair.

  
His eyes widened. "Do you... like this?" He felt her nod above his head and, taking that as encouragement, carefully inched his hand up beneath her shirt.

  
Even an hour or two after they'd finished drinking, his hands were still warm, almost hot. A little more confident now, he sank his fingers into her breast, pressing upwards and stroking. Ann let out a small sigh of contentment.

  
But then he stopped, and she felt him trying to look up at her face. She lifted her chin from his hair to let him move his head again. The tips of his ears were red and his face radiated heat, but he looked up at her hopefully. _He's finally relaxed._

  
"Can I see you?"

  
She laughed deep in her throat, feeling blissed out already. "I think that can be arranged. Goes both ways though!"

  
He narrowed his eyes and did his best attempt at a lecherous grin, a most un-Mishima-like expression. "Tit for tat?"

  
"Guess you're tat then." She laughed again and pulled him close, not caring that this dragged her breasts up his face through her shirt. The same couldn't be said for him; he closed his eyes and sank against her, pushing his face even further into her chest.

  
"Mmmf. I take it back. Now I don't want to move."

  
She shifted her thighs and found what she'd suspected would be there, then pressed against it. "Are you sure? You know what happened the last time you insisted on keeping your clothes on..."

  
He was scowling again. _"Evil."_ But she must have convinced him because he was already sitting at the foot of the bed, his back turned to her as he shucked off his t-shirt. She did the same behind him, then paused.

  
"Still feeling shy?" She watched his shoulders hunch a little, still half dressed. "C'mon. Let's take it all off. I wanna see you too."

  
He hesitated but then seemed to talk himself into it. He stood and stripped quickly, then sat again, still facing away. She wriggled out of her skirt, panties and socks.

  
"You can look now, Mishima."

  
He turned, but only enough to glimpse her over his shoulder. "...you're so pretty, Ann."

  
She stretched out flat on her back, and smiled at him. "So they tell me." _I feel like you mean it more than most though._ She patted the mattress next to her, but he remained at the foot of the bed, keeping his front turned away.

  
She put on a wheedling tone. "Mishimaaaa..." He didn't move. "Okay, what if I... oh, what if I keep my eyes closed until you're right up close?" She clapped her hand over her eyes dramatically.

  
That did the trick. She felt him make his way up the bed until he lay right next to her and put his arms around her. He didn't seem to need any more coaxing; her eyes flew open as she felt the distinct sensation of his tongue on her nipple. "A-ah..."

  
She relaxed again and sank further into the mattress; his mouth followed her, closing around more and more of her nipple and breast until he hollowed his cheeks, sucking hard and lapping at her. "Mmmf..." she sighed.

  
He cupped her other breast and squeezed, then flicked her nipple with his thumb. Without removing his mouth he changed position, kneeling on his hands and knees over her, then put his hand back up to her chest and stroked her gently, still sucking the other. Writhing in place, she sighed again and he gazed up at her as well as he could through his lashes. He finally released her and gave her a sleepy smile, content. "Good?"

  
"That's..." She struggled to catch her breath and wound up just nodding fervently, her hair bouncing.

  
"I didn't know girls liked that. That much, anyway." Even as he spoke he lay between her breasts, cool on his face, and gently pinched the nipple inches from his eyes, trying to see how hard and red he could make it. When he was satisfied he peered up at her face and groped both at once, rougher this time, rolling them upwards and squeezing until she had no choice but to moan. She squirmed helplessly and pressed her thighs together, trapped between his knees and wetter than ever.

  
"Mi..." She couldn't gather herself enough to put words together and instead just placed her hands over her breasts so he couldn't get at them anymore. He gave her a questioning look and waited.

  
She let out a long, unsteady breath. "Good but... too much."

  
He seemed to be pleased at the effect he'd had on her anyway. Now that she was more composed and trying to look at him again, he quickly moved from kneeling over her to sitting beside her waist, back turned to her again. She ran her fingertips up his spine, then settled them at his hip. _He's really soft._

  
Mishima turned his head just enough to see her face out of the corner of his eye. Then he trailed his fingers across her knees, then her thighs, still pressed tightly together. Her eyes drifted shut. Giving her time, he paused a moment longer and then lightly settled the heel of his palm on the hair between her legs, trimmed short. Ann gave a hushed sigh, then parted her legs.

  
He explored her with the side his of thumb as gently as he could, studying the difference between the thick short hairs and her silky soft skin below. Most of her felt cool to the touch, exposed as she was, but between her legs she gave off an astonishing amount of heat. He was looking down at her and couldn't see much, so he took the pad of his thumb and delicately ran it down the centre of her, top to bottom. It came away slick. He twisted his his shoulders suddenly to get a better look at her face, taken aback. "I guess you really _did_ like that!"

  
She was biting her lip, red-faced and breathing a little harder now. "You're doing better than you think are." In his surprise he'd turned to her just enough for her to see him, more than he'd allowed her before. If she lay flat on her back with her chin tipped down she could just see his tip behind his leg. _I guess YOU really liked that too..._ Maybe if she acted quickly -

  
She sat up and lunged for him, one arm crooked around his chest and the other reaching around him to seize his cock.

  
"Hey- " He struggled free of her arm immediately, since she hadn't really been trying to restrain him, but as she had time to give him one quick stroke, he froze again, holding his breath.

  
"'You're so pretty, Mishima,'" she said, quoting his own words back to him. "You're even pretty here." Her fingers eased up and skimmed over his head as she inspected him from over his shoulder.

  
He uttered a single strangled laugh and tried to start breathing again. "... why _pretty?_ Akira said that too." His shoulders were still hunched up by his ears.

  
"You just are. You'll just have to live with it." Then she giggled and squeezed his head, liking the way it felt in her hand. He was of course smaller than Akira, as he'd said, but he had his own virtues. His cock was slim just like he was everywhere else, flushed pink. Where the edges of Akira's head were ridged and abrupt, Mishima's was soft and round. He couldn't be called girthy but he was a little long for his size. His length curved slightly upwards and she found he had a little more foreskin to play with, to draw down from the head and stretch between her fingertips as she listened to him gasp. In a word: pretty.

  
He trapped her wrist in his hand, gently.

  
"Mishima, you have nothing to worry about. Really. Just, let me -"

  
He cut her off by promptly getting off the bed and kneeling on the floor by the edge, his knees on a white fuzzy floor rug and his bare toes on the hardwood. He rested both elbows on the bedspread and gestured at the space in front of him. "C'mere."

  
"Mishimaaaaa, you've been touching me for _forever._ Just lemme -"

  
His eyebrows were drawn together and he didn't look like he'd budge. "I let you see me. Now let me see you."

  
A sigh of resignation. "Okay, but -" Then she scooted closer to him, wondering what he wanted. He just grabbed her thighs and yanked her forward until her knees were hooked over his shoulders and her heels rested on his back. _Oh._

  
He wasted no time before touching her again. With his thumb he grazed her short hairs and stroked her skin, pressing in gently to watch the soft flesh indent and spring back. Her lips were already puffy with arousal, and a thrill travelled up her spine as his breath tickled her skin.

  
He dragged his thumb from the top of her slit to the bottom, over and over, until it was slick. The sounds of her panting filled the room, accompanied by the almost inaudible wet sounds his thumb made. He gently parted her lips and placed his tongue between them.

  
She was taken off guard and she kicked him in the back with her heels, her own back arching. "Mmmh- "

  
His eyes widened a little, just visible above the hair between her legs, and he went to work.

  
His pointed tongue dragging up and down her slit, he tasted her and spread her wetness until every part of her pussy was dripping. Eventually his tongue found her clit and she nearly howled; he explored it more carefully until he'd found just the right angle and force to keep her sighing in rhythm.

  
She'd wanted for things to go differently, to be a bit more fair, but her brain was descending into white noise and she couldn't think anymore.

  
Without stopping for a second he shoved one hand beneath her ass, squeezing her there and angling her hips better, and with his other hand brought his wet thumb back up to push between her lips and enter her. His tongue worked at her clit and his thumb stroked beneath it, pushing into her the slightest bit and stretching her folds.

  
_"Ahn!_ Ah... hah...."

  
At the sound of her voice he moaned deeply into her and shoved his tongue in where his thumb had just been, mouthing her lips and picking up speed as he dropped his hand back down to the side of the bed. He thrust his tongue into her as deeply as he could, becoming rougher and rougher until his chin and mouth were mashing against her, urged on by her voice. Her cries became louder and louder and he went back to her clit, tonguing it until her entire body seized up; without knowing she did it she crossed her ankles behind his head and grinded his face into her pussy as she half-screamed, half-groaned while she came.

  
Mishima stayed there as long as he could, just letting her shiver against his mouth and around his tongue, but he finally had to surface for air; she had slammed herself into his face so completely that even his nose was covered. He unsealed his sticky face and dropped it heavily onto her belly, panting weakly.

  
Feeling his breath started to bring her down to earth again. _Did_ _Mishima really just...? Him?!_ "Jeeesus... that was so...."

  
She heard and felt him laugh weakly, directly into her belly where he had faceplanted. He didn't seem to be able to get up.

  
Still feeling unsteady herself, she floated her hand down to his hair and raised his forehead up with the heel of her hand. He was still giggling, starting to sound a little hysterical.

  
"Shiiiit..." She started to laugh herself when she saw his face. She had never seen anything so obscene. His eyes were half-lidded, staring dreamily at nothing, and a mixture of her wetness and his spit absolutely coated his face, dripping off his chin. "Mishima, it's in your _hair... "_

  
"That's nothing." He shakily raised his right hand from below the edge of the bed and she stared for a second, not comprehending what he meant right away. Then she saw the cum start to roll down his palm to his forearm and she shrieked with laughter, dropping his wet face back to her belly with a _plap_ in the process. He just lay there, face down, and said, "I think I got your rug..." and they laughed until they couldn't breathe.

\----------

  
When they were more steady on their feet they stumbled directly to the shower, roomy and Western-styled. She handed him shampoo for his hair, then soap for his face, and he scrubbed and scrubbed, moaning mournfully. "It's still in my nose..."

  
"Sorry." She swiped her wet bangs up out of her eyes to try to give him an apologetic look. "I, uh, may have gotten a little carried away."

  
But he had his back to her, face turned up to the showerhead as she soaped herself behind him. "It's not that. It's just that if I don't get that smell out of my nose I'm never gonna calm down!"

  
She set the bar of soap down and crept closer, reaching around in front of him until her sudsy hands confirmed what he'd said. Whether it was really from her scent or from sharing the shower with her, he was half hard all over again. _Third time's the charm?_ Her lips found his ear as her fingertips squeezed him lightly. "You're gonna let me make you come _this_ time, right?"

  
He wouldn't turn to face her, but he did relax his back against her, letting her slide her slippery breasts against him as he sighed, sounding satisfied. "I'd like to. But I don't think I really can. Not yet, anyway."

  
She gave him one final squeeze, murmured "Getcha next time, then," and rinsed the soap from his back.

  
They dried off, put their pajamas on, and went to bed. He fell asleep with his face buried deep in her damp hair, one thumb tucked into the waistband of her pants.

  
\----------

  
After Mishima had gone home the next day, Ann cleaned up, hunting for empty cans, mysterious stains and anything else that might give away that she'd had a boy over. That evening, Akira stretched out on his bed and Mishima sat hunched over his desk, each tapping into their phones.

  
AKIRA: So what did you think?  
MISHIMA: Of?  
AKIRA: Ann.  
MISHIMA: I like her shower.  
AKIRA: Mishima.  
MISHIMA: I can't believe her guardian/caretaker/whoever lets her drink beer.  
AKIRA: Oh my goddddddddd.  
MISHIMA: I kinda wish I had a bed as big as hers. Mine's small like yours is.  
AKIRA: MISHIMA FUCK  
MISHIMA: Okay okay.  
MISHIMA: Lol  
MISHIMA: I guess at this point we're all just... telling each other everything, right?  
AKIRA: Yeah, seems that way.  
MISHIMA: I, yeah. I like Ann.  
AKIRA: So did you just drink beer and have a shower before sleeping, or... ?  
MISHIMA: I think you guys tell each other everything just because you're both nosy, not because you're close.  
AKIRA: That is a distinct possibility.

  
Akira grinned to himself. If Mishima was confident enough to tease him and draw out the suspense, he couldn't have been feeling too glum about how things went. So he just waited patiently.

  
MISHIMA: I guess I like both you and Ann.  
MISHIMA: And I guess she likes me? Still likes me?  
MISHIMA: She, uh. Sounded like she likes me.  
MISHMA: When I had my tongue inside her.

  
Akira threw an arm over his eyes and brayed out a harsh laugh in surprise. Morgana, sitting on the windowsill, asked him if something was going down in the group chat. Akira choked back another laugh. _You could say that._ "Uh, sort of. Not urgent though. I'll tell you later." Morgana went back to grooming himself.

  
AKIRA: Attaboy!  
MISHIMA: You're definitely not jealous though?  
MISHIMA: I want you to tell me if you are.  
AKIRA: Not a chance.  
AKIRA: Like, I guess it might be different if you went after someone else. Some random other person. But if it's Ann that means I get to be happy for both of you.  
AKIRA: And you spending time with Ann doesn't mean you're going to stop spending time with me. Right?  
MISHIMA: Right.  
AKIRA: Then there's nothing to be jealous about.  
AKIRA: So you had your tongue inside her. Anything else make its way to Ann's pussy?  
MISHIMA: akjdsajsdf  
MISHIMA: I'll never get used to you guys doing that.  
MISHIMA: Actually, I know we're telling each other everything but I don't like feeling like I'm being one of those douchey guys bragging about the girls they took home. Like, um, even when I just said that thing about my tongue, it felt sorta bad to say it when she's not here.  
MISHIMA: You know what I mean?  
AKIRA: Pretty sure Ann knows you're not like that. But I get you. I have a fix.

  
He added Ann, making it a group chat between just the three of them. She replied within a minute or two.

  
ANN: hi boysssssss ^-^  
MISHIMA: Hi Ann. :)  
AKIRA: Sounds like you two had a nice weekend.  
ANN: you could say that  
ANN: even though my rug will NEVER BE THE SAME  
AKIRA: That's a shame. It really tied the room together.  
ANN: what?  
AKIRA: Nothin.  
MISHIMA: Sorry Ann...  
MISHIMA: I can buy you a new one?  
ANN: lol  
ANN: don't worry about it  
AKIRA: Speaking of Ann's rug...  
ANN: god shut up Akira XD  
MISHIMA: What about it?  
MISHIMA: Oh, do you remember Ann's rug from before? I like it.  
MISHIMA: It's fuzzy but it feels nice on your skin.  
MISHIMA: It doesn't match your drapes though, Ann. Bit of a faux pas.  
ANN: YOU TOO???  
MISHIMA: Lmao  
ANN: and they do too match! god Mishima XD  
ANN: and why is everyone teasing ME. we all know that's reserved for YOU  
AKIRA: Hey, I'm all for that.  
AKIRA: So, Mishima. Tell the class about your weekend.  
MISHIMA: I had a very nice time. Thank you for inviting me Ann.  
ANN: uh, yeah we had a nice time. IN MY BED  
ANN: Akira, I thought he was a nice boy. what did you do to him  
MISHIMA: What! I'm a nice boy!  
ANN: nice boys don't WRECK MY RUG  
ANN: I'm kidding lol, I don't care about the rug  
ANN: but I'm not sure nice boys know how to tongue fuck like that either  
ANN: Akira, do I have you to thank?  
AKIRA: How would I have...  
AKIRA: Oh, uh, no, that wasn't something we covered. Heh.  
MISHIMA: You guys are so dirty.  
AKIRA: We're bringing you into the fold, little by little.  
ANN: yeah, you might as well give up the chaste maiden act, Mishima  
ANN: Akira and I both know better now  
MISHIMA: Okay FINE.  
MISHIMA: Ann, the way you smell and taste was driving me absolutely crazy.  
MISHIMA: I'm sorry your rug was a casualty of that.

  
He sent an emoji of a furiously blushing face.

  
AKIRA: You know, Ann and I never did that, I don't think.  
ANN: nope. you were too impatient. you always just wanted to move on to the "main event" as you called it. not that I'm complaining, but, yeah  
MISHIMA: You never did?!  
AKIRA: Nope. Fingering is my foreplay forte.  
ANN: lmao  
MISHIMA: Dude you missed OUT.  
MISHIMA: If I wasn't having trouble breathing I could have stayed down there all day. I, um, almost could have finished just from the noises Ann was making.  
AKIRA: And if Morgana wasn't staring at me with his cute little cat face I'd have my pants off by now.  
MISHIMA: Why?  
ANN: oh sweetie XD  
ANN: think for a sec  
MISHIMA: Oh, uh, I get why. But Morgana is a cat...?  
MISHIMA: If you waited for him to stop looking at you every time how would you ever...?

  
_Oops..._ Without knowing it, Ann and Akira gulped in unison.

  
AKIRA: Anyway, I get what you mean about the noises Ann makes at least.  
MISHIMA: I just got something.  
ANN: what?  
MISHIMA: Back before Akira and I were as close as we are now, I overheard him call you Panther in the hallway once. I always wondered why.  
MISHIMA: Now I know why. You were almost kind of growling at some points.  
ANN: haha I guess so

  
_Double oops... Better change the subject._

  
AKIRA: I do want to ask something.  
AKIRA: Mishima, you feeling any less shy? Were you able to have the lights on this time?  
MISHIMA: Yeah actually! :)  
ANN: I think he was less shy with me than he was with you, either bc you're scary or bc with you it was his first time doing anything. but we gotta work on that  
ANN: Mr. Pussy Fiend here came twice, neither of which was from me touching him. wouldn't even let me make him come  
ANN: UNACCEPTABLE  
MISHIMA: Well geeze, is that so bad?  
MISHIMA: We both had a nice time, right...?  
ANN: v nice  
MISHIMA: And both times were because you were touching me! Just, indirectly.  
ANN: I'm just being greedy, it's okay bb  
ANN: there's a lot of new things for you to try  
ANN: we'll get to it  
AKIRA: I think it's about feeling like he's being stared at.  
MISHIMA: Yeah, I think so too.  
MISHIMA: It's easier if I'm doing something. If I'm just, like, getting the attention, I feel all... panicky.  
AKIRA: Maybe you would feel better about receiving attention if you were doing something else at the same time. Something to distract you maybe.  
AKIRA: Like, something to keep your hands busy. Or your mouth.  
ANN: hhhhhh  
ANN: Akira you dog  
AKIRA: Just an idea I had.  
MISHIMA: I don't get what you mean.  
ANN: let's not overwhelm him  
ANN: but I def like that idea for sometime in the future  
MISHIMA: What is it?  
AKIRA: I was just picturing spending some time with my two favourite people.  
ANN: something to work up to  
ANN: it's too soon for him Akira  
MISHIMA: ?  
ANN: that's kind of a big jump lol. let's take our time a bit more with him  
ANN: Mishima we both kinda rushed you. sorry  
ANN: have you been feeling freaked out? since you left my house, or since you stayed over at Akira's?  
MISHIMA: Sometimes. A little bit.  
MISHIMA: With him especially. I was worried he wouldn't even look at me or talk to me at school anymore.  
AKIRA: You know I wouldn't do that.  
MISHIMA: I mean, I know that now. And I know Ann's not like that either.  
MISHIMA: I just keep thinking if I mess up somehow then I'll lose my friend. Two friends now.  
ANN: you kept saying you were worried I would think you were gross  
AKIRA: Yeah, you even said something like that to me, and I'm a guy. What could you and me do together that would make me think you were gross?  
ANN: yeah, and like... I got fucking pussy juice IN YOUR HAIR lmao  
AKIRA: Oh fuck you guys. I'm gonna ask Morgana to leave.  
MISHIMA: You trained your cat to take voice commands? Wow.  
ANN: Morgana is v smart you know  
ANN: so, anyway. Mishima, you're not gross. you're not gonna do anything to make me and Akira be grossed out  
ANN: another way to look at it: sex is always kinda gross? lol  
MISHIMA: Lol  
MISHIMA: Maybe a little. I get what you mean.  
ANN: Akira, you back with us?  
AKIRA: Yes.  
ANN: here I am trying to make our boy feel better and you're just, like, jackin it like mad, aren't you  
AKIRA: Who, me?  
AKIRA: I don't get those kinds of urges.  
AKIRA: I'm too pure.  
MISHIMA: Oh bullshiiiiiit.  
MISHIMA: You didn't look too pure when I had  
MISHIMA: Your  
MISHIMA: Your cum on my tongue!  
AKIRA: LMAO  
AKIRA: Mishima...  
AKIRA: Wouldn't... that mean you didn't look too pure? Either?  
MISHIMA: Yeah but you should have heard what your groaning sounded like!  
AKIRA: I recall you making these cute little whimpers.  
AKIRA: When I had YOUR cum all over MY hand.  
MISHIMA: I think we killed Ann.  
AKIRA: Ann?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comfortable, friendly intimacy is really satisfying to write.
> 
> Next chapter has aaaaangst, oh noooooo. The focus of the remaining chapters will be more evenly split between all three characters now that everyone's been introduced.


	5. Good little students. "I don't want to throw that away."  Two steps back.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Told you there'd be angst! I legit felt sad writing this. ;_;

Exams were around the corner again; when Ann, Akira and Mishima saw each other it was to study, not to fool around. True, their study sessions did sometimes devolve into dirty chat convos and "what if's", but for the most part, they spent their extracurricular time together for a week or two with their books laid out at a booth at Leblanc or on Ann's kitchen table like good little students.

  
Not all of this was thanks to exams looming. After Mishima spent the night at Ann's, Akira and Ann had a more in-depth information sharing session in a private chat.

  
ANN: so yeah, like  
ANN: didn't it take me and you at least a month or more to get as far as we did with Mishima?  
ANN: and with him we did it all in one day, each  
AKIRA: Yeah I get you. That's too fast.  
ANN: especially for someone like him. we gotta work on his self-confidence, or whatever it is  
AKIRA: But Ann.  
AKIRA: He's so cuuuuute.  
ANN: yes I know this  
ANN: he's so little  
ANN: I bet I could pick him up and carry him  
AKIRA: Lol  
AKIRA: Add that to the list of things to try.  
AKIRA: But no, I get it. I did go too fast. He was sort of working through stuff at the same time when he spent the night with me and I probably shouldn't have like. Initiated.  
ANN: yeah I think you let your dick do the thinking  
ANN: and with me, I wasn't even really friends with him first. actually I think he was being p brave to agree, he didn't know if he could trust me yet  
ANN: it seems to have worked out okay  
ANN: but we gotta be strong! ganbatte! let's be better friends to him first  
ANN: or, what's your word again  
ANN: oh yeah, we gotta woo him lmao

  
\----------

  
Exams were over. Akira knew he'd aced them, as he usually did, and Ann and Mishima had managed to prop up each other's weaknesses during their study sessions, each of them handing in their exam feeling like they'd wound up with a slightly better score than usual. Ann and Akira's Palace thievery was taken care of ahead of schedule, and as they and Mishima packed up their bags after the bell on the last day of exams, it felt like a weight had lifted from their shoulders. Mishima was ready first and made his way through the rows of desks until he reached Ann and Akira.

  
Ann stretched from side to side in her seat, twisting her back. "That. Is enough. Of _that_. Let's get _out_ of here."

  
Akira was cleaning his glasses. "If you give me a chance to drop Morgana off at home, we can go out for burgers." He'd already had a long talk with Morgana about giving him and Mishima some space in the same way that he'd needed space with Ann a few months prior, and they'd worked out an understanding that involved sushi and a minimum of whining. Morgana knew that if he wanted to hang out with Akira or Ann in Mishima's presence, he'd have to resign himself to being free to speak but not being answered in any meaningful way, and so he'd taken to spending a little more time with Futaba or one of the other Thieves when asked. Overhearing what Akira had said, Morgana grumbled from within the desk, but climbed into his bag readily enough.

  
He turned. "Coming, Mishima?"

  
Mishima fiddled with one of his suspenders, looped from his waist as they usually were. "Oh, you meant me too?"

  
Ann made a noise of mock disgust and rolled her eyes. "You _know_ you're included. Or you should know, by now."

  
He ducked his head a little and smiled.

  
\----------

  
The booths at Big Bang Burger were just big enough for three students, their jackets and their school bags. Akira managed to resist ordering the Challenge, but only barely; Ann egged on Mishima to eat more from the communal pile of fries on the centre tray and they compared exam answers until she threatened to leave. "Enough! It's the weekend!"

  
Mishima wiped his hands on a napkin. "I don't think I'd have pulled my English out of the fire without your help. Thanks Ann."

  
She snagged his waist and hooked him to her side, bodily sliding him along the slippery booth seat until he crashed into her with a squawk. "Yeah, and you're, like, Math Man. Mishimath. I actually got some things I didn't get before." She gestured in Akira's general direction with a fry and squinted at him. "He can just... fill in the rest of the subjects for us." Akira adjusted his glasses, trying to look scholarly, until they laughed at him.

  
Mishima packed up his food wrappers and put them away in a paper bag, neat and tidy as usual. "I think that's enough exam talk too. I'm more interested in talking about..." He looked from Ann to Akira, hoping one of them would finish his sentence for him.

  
Akira turned his head away and winked at Ann, unseen by Mishima. "About what?"

  
Ann had left her arm wrapped around Mishima, and he had stayed sitting the way she'd pulled him to her side, his hip and thigh pressed to hers. Under the table and out of sight of the rest of the customers, she ran her fingertips up his side through his uniform turtleneck until he squirmed a little. "Yeah, about whaaaat?"

  
His ears went red but he was able to avoid hiding his face. "Spending time together...?"

  
Akira put on his best innocent face and indicated the restaurant at large. "Looks like we are."

  
Ann kept brushing her fingers up and down his ribs until he couldn't stay still any longer and had to scoot a few inches away. "Yup. Having a marvellous time."

  
His face became anguished. "Why are you like thiiiiis... " He focused his revenge on Ann, abruptly using both hands to flip up the hood of her white hoodie and shove it over her hair, pulling it down over her eyes until she screeched. She was about to retaliate but Akira stopped her.

  
"We should probably avoid getting kicked out, you guys." Ann and Mishima retreated back to their own sides of the booth as they noticed the glares of the other customers.

  
"Aw. Well, I guess I'll see you guys Monday." Mishima was still all smiles; after seeing the look on Ann's face after she'd flung her hood back up, he felt like he'd gotten away with murder.

  
Akira threw out their trash, then caught up to them outside before they could separate. "It's early. You guys wanna come up to my room?"

  
Mishima and Ann studied his face carefully until he clarified. "Just games or movies, this time. Leblanc's still open."

  
Ann nodded, her hair still staticky and in disarray from the hood treatment. "As long as Morgana's not too pouty about not getting you all to himself."

  
"I'll have a talk with him."

  
Mishima looked from Akira to Ann, trying to figure out the joke, or if there was one, and they headed back to the station.

  
\----------

  
Sojiro greeted Mishima more warmly this time, and again declined to accept money for their drinks. "I saw you guys studying the last few days," he said gruffly, seeming to mean all three of them. He sized Mishima up."You look like a good kid. Maybe you'll be a good influence on him. Keep him out of trouble." When he turned away to start their coffee, Mishima was blushing from the attention and Akira struggled to keep a straight face; when he glanced at Ann out of the corner of his eye, he knew she was thinking the same thing. _Depends on what you consider trouble?_

  
They thanked him and went straight upstairs once their coffee was finished. Mishima was pointedly not looking at the bed; his ears were red again. Akira thought it might be best to remove himself from the situation until he adjusted. Morgana was sitting on the windowsill, bristling with hostility; Akira caught his eye and beckoned to him wordlessly until he followed him down to the cafe so they could have a conversation. Morgana piped up as soon as they were out of earshot.

  
"Him again?! Why'd you bring me all the way home if you were just going to bring him back here after?"

  
Akira shrugged. "Plans changed?"

  
"Guess I'm just supposed to play the dumb animal role again, _huh_. Or am I being shipped off to Futaba's room this time?" Morgana turned his head away with a sniff, every line of his body communicating feline disdain.

  
Akira spoke quietly so Sojiro wouldn't overhear his side of the conversation. "I'm sorry, buddy. It'd be nice if he could hear you too. I think you'd like him."

  
Morgana said nothing but let Akira stroke the top of his head.

  
Akira floated a compromise. "We're either going to be playing games or watching movies. If you don't say anything that needs too detailed a response, you're welcome to stay and hang out with us."

  
The cat's eyes shone. "If you guys aren't planning on being gross today, I think I could stand to accompany you."

  
Akira laughed and scritched him under the chin. "Uh, not during business hours anyway. I know we've finished that last game so I'll see if they want to try one you haven't already seen me play. Or a DVD. No promises though."

  
Morgana grinned and ran upstairs ahead of him to try to influence 'Lady Ann's' choice of media, only to bolt back down less than thirty seconds later, ears flattened to his skull. "Maybe you should have told _them_ what your plan for today was," he hissed, disgusted, and fled outside as soon as Akira held open the door.

  
Sojiro watched him go, amused. "Guess he's not a fan of your new friend." Akira shrugged and went back upstairs with some trepidation, not sure what he'd find.

  
Mishima had seated himself in one of the chairs facing the TV with the remote in his hand, ready for an afternoon in front of the screen; Ann must have been the one with other ideas. She perched on the very edge of the couch and kissed him; the angle forced him to tip his head far to the side, and as Akira watched, Ann brushed her fingertips up his pale throat. He dropped the remote.

  
Akira cleared his throat. "Ann, I thought we'd talked about this."

  
She released Mishima and looked guilty, settling back into the couch. "I know we did, but -"

  
Mishima, out of breath, looked from him to her, trying to assess the situation. "Is that not okay with you? Ann and me? I thought -"

  
Akira sighed and sat on the couch next to Ann, trying not to stare as Mishima had to stand to adjust his underwear to something more comfortable. The bulge was still noticeable and he shifted his legs, trying to hide it. Akira made himself look away with some effort.

  
"No, that's not it. But Ann and I talked about easing up a bit. Giving you some more time. We both kinda... "

  
"Rushed you," Ann finished. "And even with me you seemed like you needed some more time to think about things. Get more relaxed with us." She did look repentant, and given her acting skills, Akira knew she meant it.

  
"And as hard as it is..." Akira's eyes darted to Mishima, or more accurately, Mishima's lap, then looked away, " ...to resist, I don't think this is the best idea during business hours."

  
Ann tipped over on her side on the couch, knees drawn up so she could drum her stockinged feet gently into Akira's side. "I know I know I know I know but -" He caught them. " - I guess there's no excuse," she finished, pouting.

  
Mishima crossed his arms, annoyed. "You know, if you're going to decide things about my, our... _sex_ lives, you could probably include me."

  
He was right. "Guess we could," Akira admitted. "Sorry. We weren't trying to exclude you. It was more like we were trying to convince each other to back off. A bit." He shot a dark look at Ann. "I expected you to hold out a _little_ longer, actually."

  
She stuck out her tongue, all contrition gone. _"You're_ the one who made him cry, remember? No tears at my house."

  
Mishima kept forgetting exactly how much they shared with each other. _"Hey- "_

  
Akira's eyes flashed behind his glasses. "You had to get him _drunk_ to get him into bed with you! How is that any better?!"

  
Mishima's twisted in his chair to face Akira, indignant. "I wasn't _drunk!_ I only had -"

  
Ann talked right over him. Her voice was bitter now. "Yeah? Which of us do you think he said is 'scary'? You or me?"

  
Silence descended. All eyes turned to Mishima. He looked furious.

  
"Thank you for inviting me over," he said, coldly. He shoved his feet into his sneakers, slung his school bag over his shoulder, and descended the stairs. It was quiet enough that they could both hear the glass door of the cafe close gently behind him.

  
Without looking at her, Akira held out his arm. Ann sat up on the couch and laid her head on his shoulder.

  
\----------

  
_"Fuck,"_ Ann choked out, pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes and swiping her tears away angrily. "We were awful."

  
Akira nodded mutely. Some time had passed; the sun was setting. He couldn't seem to think straight. Ann went on without him.

  
"What... was that? I was fine with the idea of you two together before today. Really, I was. I still _am._ But..."

  
Akira tried to shuffle his thoughts into some kind of order. "I was too. The idea of him with you. I was _happy_ for you."

  
"Then what...?"

  
His mind kept returning to something else. He drew her close again and wordlessly rubbed her shoulders to show her the fight was over, the one between the two of them at least. Akira forced himself to study her face to catch her reaction. "So he said he's scared of me?"

  
Her face told him it was true before she nodded. "Or that you _were_ scary, at least. Like, I don't think he thinks you are now."

  
He propped his head up on his hand, elbow on the back of the couch, and blinked hard. He swallowed around the lump in his throat. "I was... I was kind of rough with him."

  
She waited.

  
"Not like that. You know how far we went. But I shoved him down to the bed and put all my weight on him. Like, he didn't try to get out from under me, but -"

  
" -but you think maybe he didn't even try, because he was scared of what you'd do?"

  
He nodded, stricken. "Why did I do that? I never did that with you. Did I?"

  
"No, not that."

  
He stared at her, guts churning. "What then? Was I rough with you some other way?"

  
She didn't want to hurt him further but had to answer. "I was never scared of you. I described you to him as 'intense'. And I told him about that first time we..."

  
He froze. "When I... when I hurt you?"

  
She nodded, miserable for him. "But I told him that was both our faults, or neither. It was just an accident. I felt fine the next day, and the next time we tried, we knew what to do. I told him all of that. I just told him it happened to sort of... teach him about what to do."

  
He tipped his head back and rested it on the back of the couch, hot tears rolling down to his jaw.

  
She squeezed his hand. "Akira, I don't think he's still scared, exactly. He wouldn't want to come hang out with us in your room if he was. I think you just freaked him out when he spent the night here, in, in the middle there. When you held him down." She tried to make a joke of it. "Hey, maybe he even liked it. Some people do."

  
That actually did make him feel a little better. "He did want me to lay on him again. But I think that was just so I couldn't look at him."

  
She stroked his arm, trying to think. "We _both_ scared him. He was still freaked out at my place too. It wasn't just you."

  
He straightened his back. "We've gotta fix this. We could've been just friends with him but we went too fast and now we... we don't even have that."

  
She smiled encouragingly. "I'd like to go back to that even if we can't keep whatever this is going with him. We just had a fight. Friends have fights."

  
He wasn't able to smile back but his expression softened a little. "Let's try to make him understand."

\----------

  
Mishima made it home without remembering any of the trip that got him there. He removed everything but his briefs and crawled under the covers, feeling too numb to even try to distract himself with the Phan-site. He left his phone stuck in the pocket of his pants somewhere on the floor and eventually fell asleep, his pillow damp.

\----------

  
ANN: he's not answering me  
ANN: you?  
AKIRA: No dice.  
ANN: geeze. what do we do?  
AKIRA: I guess we're just gonna have to learn our lesson, right? Give him time.  
ANN: I wish I hadn't said what I said  
ANN: to you and to him. I'm really sorry  
AKIRA: Me too.  
AKIRA: You're my best friend. I shouldn't be shitty to you.  
ANN: you're my best friend too  
ANN: agggggh this sucks  
AKIRA: Tomorrow's Sunday. Maybe he'll answer then.

  
\----------

  
Almost all of Sunday passed before he would talk to them. Mishima couldn't decide who to respond to first, so he started up a group chat with the two of them that evening.

  
MISHIMA: Hi.  
ANN: hi Mishima  
AKIRA: Are you okay?  
MISHIMA: Not really.  
AKIRA: I'm sorry. About everything.  
ANN: I'm sorry too  
ANN: I was a huge jerk  
AKIRA: Do you think we can at least still be friends?  
MISHIMA: Only friends?  
AKIRA: I don't know. It depends on what you want.  
AKIRA: I liked the way things were going. But I think Ann and I moved too fast.  
ANN: that's why we tried to pull back a bit and get to know you better before doing, uh, more of that. me especially, I haven't been friends with you as long as Akira has  
ANN: but then I couldn't even keep to my word and made a move on you as soon as I had you alone  
ANN: I'm sorry  
MISHIMA: Why were you making this big plan or agreement without me? You guys keep telling me you tell each other everything. I guess I'm not good enough to get the same treatment.  
AKIRA: You're right. We should have just talked to you about it.  
AKIRA: I think we kept it to ourselves because we were ashamed. I definitely was.  
AKIRA: Am.  
AKIRA: If I could redo that night I would.  
AKIRA: I don't want you to be scared of me.  
MISHIMA: Ann, I wanna talk to Akira about this. But I want you to read it too, so just give me a minute and then I'll talk to you.  
ANN: got it  
MISHIMA: Why do you think I'm scared?  
MISHIMA: I came over to your place again, didn't I?  
AKIRA: Ann said you'd told her in chat that you thought I was scary. Is that not true?  
MISHIMA: Oh. That.  
MISHIMA: Yes. I did say that.  
MISHIMA: I didn't mean that I think you're scary all the time. We were talking about when you were holding me down and saying... what you wanted to do to me that night.  
AKIRA: That's what I thought you were talking about.  
AKIRA: I don't want you to be scared of me. I don't know why I even did that to you.  
AKIRA: When I think about it now it feels like you must think I was trying to... bully you or something.  
MISHIMA: I still don't really know what to think of it. Is that a thing that couples do?  
MISHIMA: Or just, other people having sex I mean. I guess.  
MISHIMA: Is that a thing you did with Ann?  
AKIRA: No. Never.  
AKIRA: I just got this idea to do it to you in the spur of the moment and I didn't think twice about it.  
AKIRA: And then Ann told me that she told you about how I... hurt her. It was an accident, but it still happened.  
MISHIMA: She explained it to me. She said she thought it happens when guys think real life sex works like sex in porn, or something like that.  
AKIRA: I guess that's fair.  
AKIRA: I just... I never wanted to hurt her. But I did. And I wasn't trying to intimidate you or force you or anything like that. But I did. I scared you.  
AKIRA: And then, on top of that, Ann and I had this Amazing Plan about how to help you, help you get used to us and get to know us better, but we should've just talked to you about it.  
MISHIMA: Yeah, that is more or less what I was mad about.  
MISHIMA: Am mad about.  
MISHIMA: Don't keep me in the dark.

  
Both Akira and Ann felt a fresh pang of guilt at that. As long as the Phantom Thieves were active, Mishima would have to be kept in the dark about some things no matter what their relationship status was.

  
MISHIMA: And why do you and Ann get to share all my embarrassments with each other but you can't even tell me something nice, like how you want to hang out with me more?  
MISHIMA: I just feel like I'll never get to be where you and Ann are. I'm just, like, secondary.  
ANN: oh honey, that's not true  
ANN: sorry  
MISHIMA: I guess it's fine. Your turn now.  
MISHIMA: Ann, Akira didn't make me cry. I did that all on my own.  
ANN: I know  
ANN: I shouldn't have said that  
ANN: and I just had a beer with you to relax you a bit. I wasn't like... trying to take advantage of you  
ANN: I hope you don't think that  
MISHIMA: It helped.  
MISHIMA: I really wasn't, like, drunk drunk though. I'm not that much of a lightweight.  
ANN: I know  
ANN: I'm sorry I started this whole mess. I shouldn't have kissed you  
MISHIMA: Well I'm not mad about that part.  
MISHIMA: I guess I just want  
MISHIMA: For you guys to talk to me? The way you do with each other?  
MISHIMA: Like, don't decide for me how things are going to go. I should have a say in that, right?  
AKIRA: Yeah. We just wanted to help you be more comfortable.  
AKIRA: But that was the wrong way to do it.  
AKIRA: It's okay if you don't want this anymore. With us. Maybe it's too much to ask.  
AKIRA: But I want to be your friend.  
ANN: me too  
ANN: I still want to hang out with you and get to know you better even if I wrecked everything else  
MISHIMA: If you guys will really include me. I don't want to just be... left out, like I said.  
AKIRA: I think we can do better.  
ANN: but like... now that it's out in the open... Mishima, if you still want to be more than friends with us, what do you think?  
MISHIMA: About going slower?  
ANN: yeah. getting to know us better first  
MISHIMA: I don't know if I want to go back to doing those things with either of you.

  
Both Ann and Akira held their breath, waiting for him to continue typing.

  
MISHIMA: But I think we can try being friends again. Both of you.  
MISHIMA: I don't want to throw that away.  
AKIRA: I'm so glad.  
ANN: me too  
ANN: and like I said to Akira after you left. friends have fights.  
ANN: and then hopefully they make up and go back to being friends. right?  
MISHIMA: I'm maybe not the best one to ask. But I'd like to try that.  
MISHIMA: I'll see you guys at school tomorrow.

  
They said their goodbyes and closed the chat.

\----------

  
When Ann and Akira made it to the classroom the next morning, Mishima was already seated, staring down at his desk. They each tried to catch his eye without success. When they sent him chat messages, he ignored them.

  
At lunch he made his way over to their desks and sat in another student's in the row next to theirs. Most of the room was empty, the other students spread throughout the school for lunch. But there were still a few seated here and there, so they kept their voices low.

  
Akira started first. "How are you doing?"

  
Mishima kept his face impassive. "I'm okay."

  
Ann's eyes were sympathetic. "I'm really glad you decided to give it another shot. Being friends I mean."

  
He frowned a little. "Yeah, well. We'll see how it goes." But then he sighed and tried a new approach. "Did you guys see the new Phan-site poll? The comment section is going crazy."

  
They ate their lunches, carefully avoiding anything but the most neutral of topics, and things felt a little better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will be a little less Crying Breakfast Friends by next chapter, I promise.


	6. It's a date. Akira's resume. "I guess you liked my photos?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiss and make up (well, not quite.)

When the bell rang at the end of class, Akira cleared his plate of obligations for the afternoon and beckoned Mishima over to his and Ann's desks.

  
"You guys wanna do the diner today? My treat."

  
Ann scrunched up her face. "Wish I could. But I've got a shoot today and I can't risk cancelling."

  
Mishima kept his expression guarded, but he nodded. "Yeah, I'm free." He shifted his feet. "How about something more like the movies though? The diner is so..."

  
_Visible? Exposed?_ Akira nodded in agreement, and they left.

  
When they arrived at the theatre they both realized that they knew nothing about any of the movies currently playing and wound up simply buying tickets for the first one available. They slouched down in two seats close to the back and tried to pay attention to the plot.

  
It was past the halfway point of the movie when, still staring straight ahead, Mishima found his hand in the dark and slid his fingers between his, keeping their hands low between the seats to avoid being seen. Akira sighed and, a moment later, let his shoulder press against Mishima's. They sat that way until the lights came back on.

  
\----------

  
Akira was out Leblanc's front door and on his way to the Yongen station, headed to the church to play shogi with Hifumi, when he caught sight of a familiar face climbing the station steps. It was hard to tell, but the height gave him away.

  
"Mishima? Is that you?"

  
The slight figure closed the distance and nodded up at him in the dark, smiling. He looked more like his old self again. "I know I took up your afternoon. Do you have a few minutes tonight though? To talk?"

  
"'Course." Akira went back the way he'd come and held the door to Leblanc open for him.

  
The last time Sojiro had seen Mishima, he'd stalked quietly down the stairs from the attic and left without a word, an hour or more before Ann had left after him - not to mention what Sojiro may or may not have overheard. If he had any comments about seeing Mishima come by again after what must have obviously been a fight of some kind, he kept them to himself. He gave Akira a curt nod. "Lock up?"

  
He was grateful for the privacy and nodded. Sojiro left without another word, and Akira flipped the sign to closed and locked the door.

  
Mishima slunk into a booth and let Akira make him a coffee. The similarity to the first night they'd spent together made them tongue-tied and they drank in silence.

  
Akira slid into the booth, seated across from him, and kept searching his face until Mishima squirmed and ducked his face away. "Hey. Stoppit. I'm okay."

  
Akira stretched out his hands, kept warm by his coffee cup, and covered Mishima's with them. Mishima let him, his expression unreadable. "You wanted to talk about something?"

  
"Yeah. But I don't know where to start."

  
"Did we cover everything when we talked it out with Ann in the chat? Did we miss something?"

  
Mishima shut his eyes and rolled his shoulders, thinking. "I guess I." He took a deep breath and held it for a moment. "I guess I wouldn't have grabbed your hand in the theatre if I was still mad."

  
Akira just stroked the back of his hand with his thumb, letting him think it over.

  
"And I guess. Um. I guess friends don't hold hands too much, do they."

  
Akira smiled, trying to put him at ease. "There's no rush. This doesn't have to mean we go back to... more. We can just keep going to the movies and getting burgers with Ann. I like that just fine."

  
Mishima nodded, eyes closed again, and then clenched Akira's fingers tightly. His shoulders hunched up by his ears as he seemed to be psyching himself up for something. He opened his eyes, brows drawn together, and suddenly got up and shoved himself into the other side of the booth, forcing Akira to slide in all the way to the wall. "Whoa - "

  
He pressed his hip and side to Akira's and, slowly, hoping it was the right thing to do, Akira put his arm around him.

  
Mishima exhaled and sank into him, but then his face turned up to Akira's, brows drawn together again and eyes narrowed in an intense expression. "I'm not scared of you. Got it?!"

  
Akira finally felt the tension that he'd been carrying for days leave his neck and shoulders. He laughed, but it was out of relief, and Mishima seemed to know there was no bite to it. He drew him in close. "Got it."

  
They sat pressed together, chatting quietly and more easily than before, until Mishima thanked him for the coffee and left to catch his train. "See you tomorrow, Akira."

\----------

  
Akira stretched out on his back in bed, tapping at his phone while trying not to wake Morgana, curled cozily at his side.

  
AKIRA: Hey Ann.  
AKIRA: Ann?

  
She replied a minute later.

  
ANN: I don't care if you drank too much coffee. it's after midnight  
AKIRA: But I have news.  
ANN: blug. what  
AKIRA: Mishima came by Leblanc tonight.  
ANN: !

  
He laughed quietly to himself, partly just because he felt happy and partly because he was picturing her finally snapping awake in her room.

  
ANN: well?!  
AKIRA: He said he's not scared of me. We held hands. We did earlier at the movies too.  
AKIRA: What's the phrase... we hugged it out? Lol  
ANN: awww I'm so happy for you <3  
AKIRA: I bet it's your turn next.  
ANN: well. maybe  
ANN: just because he made up with you, doesn't mean he will with me  
AKIRA: I think you've got a good shot. Just a feeling. You should go out with him somewhere.  
AKIRA: You're not booked for tomorrow, are you? For a shoot?  
ANN: no, but I'm flat broke rn. what shitty timing  
AKIRA: Lemme give you some cash in the morning.  
ANN: you don't have to do that  
AKIRA: Yes I do. Just take it.  
ANN: fiiiiiiiiine  
ANN: thanks for the head's up. maybe I'll actually do my eyebrows tomorrow XD  
AKIRA: I don't think he cares about that... ? Lol  
AKIRA: Anyway, I'll let you get some sleep.  
ANN: thanks bb  
ANN: gnight

  
\----------

  
The next afternoon Ann was at Mishima's desk before the bell had even finished ringing. She leaned on his desk with one hand until he'd finished zipping up his bag and looked up at her.

  
"Oh, Ann - "

  
"Free today? I wanna take you out."

  
Mishima heard whispers around him and his face heated up immediately. "I will agree to anything you want if we can discuss it at the train station," he muttered urgently, his eyes averted.

  
"Okay, see you theeeere - " she singsonged. Then she was gone. Mishima caught Akira rolling his eyes on the other side of the classroom. He delayed packing up his things, trying to give his face time to go back to normal, and found her waiting at the school gate instead of the station.

  
Akira must have texted her a word or two of advice about appearances, or perhaps volume level, because she was considerably more reserved when he approached her. She gave him some space and avoided drawing more attention to the two of them, though her expression gave away how excited she was. "Mishima, you like crepes?"

  
He felt a little less off balance now that they were less likely to be overheard. "Don't think I've ever had them." He thought about what their male classmates might say if they saw him eating such a 'girly' food and tried to put it out of his mind immediately. "They always looked good though."

  
Ann was studying him carefully and seemed to guess some of what he was thinking. Or perhaps she had heard the whispering in the classroom after all. She spoke softly. "Who cares what they think, Mishima."

  
_I do! Me! I care!_ "Yeah, I guess."

  
They took the train one stop over and made it to the crepe stand, waiting in line for ten minutes or so. The area was packed with people but there weren't many students around yet, which afforded it its own sort of privacy. They stood side by side in line, facing each other, and she stood closer than was strictly necessary. She caught his eye and then slowly linked her index finger with his. Mishima's insides squirmed - _anyone could see us!_ \- but he made himself keep his hand still. Something must have shown on his face because she tipped her face even closer, keeping her voice down. "We don't have to," she murmured, squeezing his finger at the same time to show what she meant.

  
His ears felt hot but he shook his head almost imperceptibly. "It's okay." He took her whole hand in his.

  
They made it to the counter and he ordered the same thing that she did. He received a sugary monstrosity, the crepe really just a vehicle for whipped cream and chocolate sauce. She seemed to understand how he was feeling and took him by the hand to a less exposed spot, tucked away a little between a standing sign and a trio of vending machines. She considered for a moment longer and then stood between him and the street so that he could stand with his back against the brick wall, mostly obscured by her body. "Better?"

  
"Uh huh." She already knew him better than he thought. He took a bite of his crepe and decided it was delicious.

  
She filled in the silence with chatter, trying to make him forget his discomfort. "Akira and I go for crepes sometimes but he gets the _savory_ crepes. Bleh. Why bother getting crepes then?" She took another bite with enormous satisfaction. "He drinks his coffee _black_ , did you know that?"

  
He felt better, buoyed up by sugar and her animated expressions, and even laughed a little. "I don't know how he drinks that stuff like he does. He made me _three_ that time I stayed the night and I was sick as a dog the next day." He took another bite. "Didn't sleep either."

  
She waggled her eyebrows and gave him a lecherous smile until he laughed again, but didn't say anything in response. She waited patiently, letting him finish his crepe.

"Thanks. That was better than I thought it would be."

  
"Worth the wait in line, right?" She stood at ease and let him broach the subject they both knew was coming.

  
He gathered his thoughts. "So. Akira probably told you that I saw him yesterday, but I'll tell you too. I'm not mad at you."

  
It wasn't really a surprise at that point but she looked relieved anyway. She took his wrapper and napkin and tossed them with hers at a trash can ten feet away, then came back and stood a little closer then she had before. "What do you think about. Um. Being friends?"

  
He kept his eyes on the ground to her side but smiled. "I think I can handle that. Being friends with you." He took a step closer but then for some reason he remembered how oblivious and attention grabbing she'd been in the classroom, when she'd asked him to come out with her. His eyes tipped back up to hers and he grinned mischievously. "I just wish you weren't... so... _loud!"_ Then he lunged for her hood and dragged it over her hair until she was a frizzy mess.

  
"Mishimaaaaaa!" she squealed in frustration, but when he tensed up, waiting to see how she'd retaliate, she just pulled him close and hugged him tight. Perhaps a little tighter than she might have if he hadn't just provoked her. "You're lucky we're out in public, _buddy,_ or you'd see what I really wanna do to you," she murmured into his ear, then released him and gave him a calculating look. "But I have a long memory."

  
He watched her face falter when he took a step back. "We talked about being friends, not anything else."

  
Dismayed, she stammered, "You're, you're right. I shouldn't have assumed - "

  
But he just grinned and grabbed both of her hands in his. "But I think we can give it another try. If you guys will keep me in the loop, at least."

  
He watched her face flit through the most _interesting_ progression of expressions. "You. Are _infuriating."_ She grabbed his nearest hanging suspender and pulled it back until it snapped him in the leg.

  
"Okayokay truce... !" They were beginning to attract annoyed glares from passersby, but he found he wasn't too concerned about what they thought.

  
\----------

  
AKIRA: Soooo?  
ANN: went great  
ANN: I danced all the way home  
AKIRA: Are you guys good now too?  
ANN: think so. held hands, hugged  
ANN: he will not leave my hair aloooone, he is maddening  
AKIRA: You like it and he can tell you like it. Lol  
ANN: shaddap  
ANN: he even hinted that he might want what happened before to happen again  
ANN: I think?  
AKIRA: I sort of got that impression too, for me, when he was sitting all squeezed in next to me  
AKIRA: But let's let him take his time and figure it out. Right?  
ANN: agreed

  
\----------

  
Mishima became more comfortable with them by the day and it worked out very well; the three of them spent time together after school when possible, and when one was otherwise occupied, the remaining two would go to the arcade, or the underground shopping mall, or to Leblanc for coffee. For a few weeks, the option of continuing what Ann and Akira had each started with him in their respective beds went unmentioned, but not forgotten.

  
They were each sitting at home, typing in their group chat, when Mishima got up his nerve.

  
ANN: oh come on. you'd like sweet crepes if you gave them a chance  
ANN: if you just order savory ones every time you might as well just be eating a convenience store sandwich  
AKIRA: Sometimes I think you're part hummingbird. I bet when you're home alone you drink straight sugar water in your Shame Closet.  
ANN: what??? lmao  
MISHIMA: He's got you there.  
ANN: Mishima I do not have a Shame Closet XD  
MISHIMA: But you don't deny the sugar water? Interesting...  
ANN: ffffff  
ANN: lol  
MISHIMA: Actually, there's something I wanted to talk to you about. Both of you.  
AKIRA: All ears.  
ANN: yeah I'm here  
MISHIMA: It feels weird just bringing it up out of nowhere but.  
MISHIMA: Are either of you still... interested in me? Like that?  
ANN: like whaaaaat?  
ANN: lol I'm kidding. you mean sex, right?  
ANN: we're TYPING Mishima  
ANN: you can say it, can't you?  
AKIRA: Don't tease him. It's hard for him.  
MISHIMA: Yeah yeah, hard like your dick, whatever.  
AKIRA: Such language!  
ANN: such a vulgar child  
MISHIMA: But, yes. That's what I meant.  
ANN: I still think you're cute. hot  
ANN: if THAT'S what you meant  
ANN: you know we were trying to give you some space, to get you more comfortable. that's the only reason we stopped, uh  
ANN: Akira?  
AKIRA: Wooing you.  
ANN: yeah that lol  
AKIRA: I'm not sure that's what that means though. I thought we WERE wooing him?  
ANN: oh my goddddd Akiraaaa  
MISHIMA: Akira? What about you?  
AKIRA: I was kind of trying to put it out of my mind. Or I wouldn't be able to hang out with you.  
MISHIMA: You mean you can't hang out with me as a friend without... that, coming to mind?  
AKIRA: No, I mean I have to make sure I don't look at your ass at school or I start to remember what we were doing in my bed and I get a hardon under my desk.  
ANN: asdlkfjs  
ANN: fuck Akira XD  
MISHIMA: Uh, thank you for being clear...? XD  
AKIRA: Anytime.  
MISHIMA: And like... no one is jealous right? Because when we had that fight a few weeks ago it almost felt like you guys were competing or something.  
ANN: I think it was more like me and him were mad at each other and we were using things you had told us to be shitty to each other  
ANN: sorry  
AKIRA: Yeah, I think it was more like that too. Like, I guess I'd be sad if you decided to be exclusive with Ann now. I like spending time with you. No matter what we're doing.  
AKIRA: But if you started sleeping with her and dialled me back down to a friend only, I'd get over it. We'd still be friends.  
MISHIMA: I don't think that's going to happen. Not with the way I feel right now, anyway. I keep thinking about both of you pretty equally. I just wanted to make sure.  
AKIRA: And what kind of thing do you think about, Mishima?  
ANN: yes share with the class plz  
MISHIMA: Oh, um.  
MISHIMA: You really want to know now? In chat?  
ANN: I'm laying in bed. how about you Akira?  
AKIRA: I am asking Morgana to give me some privacy as we speak.  
AKIRA: He is as disgusted as you might imagine.  
MISHIMA: You know he's just a cat, right...?  
MISHIMA: I'm, um. Laying in my bed too.  
ANN: whatcha got on  
MISHIMA: Just... underwear.  
ANN: pssht. "underwear". come on  
AKIRA: We need details!  
AKIRA: I didn't get to see what you were wearing when I had you over.  
ANN: me neither. we've got a shy one on our hands  
ANN: I will give you an example  
ANN: I am wearing pink and grey striped boy shorts with little bows on the sides  
MISHIMA: You wear men's underwear?  
AKIRA: LMAO  
AKIRA: Wouldn't put it past her.  
ANN: that's just what they're called, god you guys... XD do those sound like men's underwear to you?  
AKIRA: No, I know what you mean. You'd like them Mishima. If they're the ones I'm thinking of they come up high in the back and show off a bit of her ass.  
MISHIMA: Oh.  
MISHIMA: Yes, I do think I would like to see those.  
ANN: then come to my place next Sunday, bb  
AKIRA: Hey, if we're trying to be fair, I think my turn's come around again.  
MISHIMA: Now, now, don't fight... lol.  
MISHIMA: Akira?  
AKIRA: Yes?  
ANN: he wants to know what you're wearing, dumbass  
AKIRA: Oh, my boxers?  
AKIRA: I got rid of those ages ago.  
ANN: you're gonna get such a scratchin if you give Morgana an eyeful again  
AKIRA: I think that just leaves you, Mishima.  
MISHIMA: For what?  
ANN: say iiiiiiiiit  
ANN: tit for tat, remember? ;)  
MISHIMA: Oh geeze, don't remind me.  
MISHIMA: Actually I guess DO remind me, if that's what we're doing.  
MISHIMA: I'm  
MISHIMA: Uh  
MISHIMA: I've got green briefs on. They have white stripes up the sides and the front. They're  
MISHIMA: Tight?  
MISHIMA: They match my sneakers actually.  >_>  
ANN: aaaaaaaa  
ANN: why do I like that mental image of you in your sneakers so much  
AKIRA: Bet they're getting tighter.  
MISHIMA: Maybe.  
AKIRA: I think I'd like to hear more about this tit for tat, too.  
MISHIMA: Oh, I said that because Ann has nice  
MISHIMA: Um, boobs?  
MISHIMA: Tits sounds rude to just say it like that.  
ANN: you can say tits. you have my permission  
ANN: god you're cute lmao  
ANN: mmf, you should have seen him Akira  
ANN: he was all over me, licking my nipples, sucking, everything  
AKIRA: You do have really nice tits. More... prominent than most Japanese girls.  
ANN: guess that's my hafu powers showing  
ANN: now, as fun as that was, I have only heard snippets of what your night was like with Akira  
ANN: spill it!  
AKIRA: Yeah, Mishima. What did you like?  
MISHIMA: Um... most of it... >_>  
ANN: I'm waaaaiting  
MISHIMA: Akira's a lot bigger than I thought he'd be.  
MISHIMA: I could only fit like half in my mouth at a time. Or less, maybe.  
MISHIMA: I, um  
MISHIMA: Liked your balls more than I thought I would.  
MISHIMA: Like they don't really do much in comparison, do they, but they're nice to look at and hold in your hand. They're actually pretty heavy.  
AKIRA: I'm flattered.  
AKIRA: That was a pretty good write-up actually. Maybe I could put that on my resume the next time I'm looking for part-timer work.  
AKIRA: You'll be a reference for me right?  
MISHIMA: Why would your mind go to THAT?  
AKIRA: Don't you think "big cock, heavy balls" would set me apart from the other candidates?  
ANN: maybe if you're applying in the red light district  
MISHIMA: It would have to be an interesting uniform to show those off.  
ANN: ...  
ANN: uh, for some reason I liked that mental picture a lot less than I liked Mishima in his green briefs and sneakers lol  
AKIRA: Speaking of which.  
AKIRA: Mishima, you still got those on?  
MISHIMA: My briefs? Yes.  
MISHIMA: Well, only kind of on.  
ANN: share with the class!  
MISHIMA: Share what though? I already told you.  
AKIRA: I think she is asking for a photo.  
MISHIMA: Oh yeah? Tit for tat, Ann.  
AKIRA: Ooooh, gotcha Ann.  
ANN: what! why only me?  
MISHIMA: You first.  
MISHIMA: I've never... done that. I don't really know what you want, exactly.  
AKIRA: Fair's fair Ann.  
AKIRA: You're the model. Show us how it's done.  
MISHIMA: You too Akira.  
ANN: hahaaaaaa  
ANN: been a while since I've seen your little friend  
AKIRA: Little?  
AKIRA: I'll show you little.

  
There was a pause in the chat and they waited impatiently.

  
ANN: I bet he's just gonna finish without us, the jerk  
MISHIMA: I guess he doesn't have to do it if he doesn't want to. It's okay.  
ANN: uh, he is not shy about waving that thing around, Mishima  
ANN: :P  
ANN: you'll find out

  
Akira linked three photos. As he'd said, he was fully naked now, sitting up in bed. The first shot was taken from above, just catching his chin and emphasizing his toned chest and stomach. He had flung back his covers to show his cock, fully erect and shiny in the low light.

  
The second shot was taken while he stood with the camera much closer. His thumb and index finger of his free hand circled its base, squeezing it tight and pumping it up to its full size. The head was dark purple with arousal and a tiny highlight showed where the precum had begun to pool.

  
The last one was taken from below. His cock was still visible but his balls were the focus, propped up on his closed thighs; they looked loose, relaxed, and as large as Mishima remembered.

  
AKIRA: There.  
AKIRA: That last one's especially for you, Mishima.

  
He sent two peach emoji.

  
ANN: omg  
ANN: THAT IS NOT WHAT THE PEACH EMOJI MEANS AKIRA  
ANN: XD  
AKIRA: Oh.  
AKIRA: Anyway, what do you think?  
ANN: v nice  
ANN: I do have fond memories of that thing of yours  
AKIRA: Aw, don't call it that. You'll hurt its feelings.  
ANN: that thing looks like it eats mice or smth  
ANN: or babies  
ANN: I don't think I could hurt it if I tried  
AKIRA: You, uh, really know how to make a guy feel desirable.  
ANN: oh, come on, you know you're hot. you don't need me to tell you  
AKIRA: But I was actually wondering what Mishima thinks.

  
They waited a moment.

  
ANN: maybe that thing scared him away  
ANN: Mishima?  
AKIRA: Mishima, you don't have to take a photo if you don't want to.  
MISHIMA: Well, you asked for one, so...

  
He linked a single photo in the chat. He'd taken it from above while laying down. The green briefs were as he'd described, but the state they were in came as a surprise.

  
ANN: whoooa  
AKIRA: Uh  
AKIRA: I guess you liked my photos? Now I'm really flattered.  
ANN: you know, you and me always did "before" photos. I don't think we ever did "after" photos, did we  
AKIRA: Definitely saving this one.  
MISHIMA: Did I do it right?  
ANN: not what I was expecting, but I like it  
ANN: been a while? that's, like, a lot ;)  
MISHIMA: Is a day a while? >_>  
ANN: uh, not for me, lol  
AKIRA: Yeah, a day's not that long.  
AKIRA: Do you always... ?  
AKIRA: I didn't really get to see too much when you stayed the night.  
MISHIMA: I mean, I guess?  
ANN: mmmf  
ANN: if we... get that far... I gotta get you to bareback me  
MISHIMA: Wow. I guess you like MY photo, huh?  
ANN: getting filled up feels amaaaazing. and then, it's messy, but when the hot cum starts to leak out again...  
ANN: mmmf  
MISHIMA: I think I could help you with that.  
ANN: if you make that much regularly I think we'll get along famously  
ANN: now it's time for you and Akira to chat  
ANN: brb  
AKIRA: Damn, I think you found her button.  
MISHIMA: Is she... ?  
AKIRA: Yeah, think so.  
MISHIMA: What about you?  
AKIRA: Sorry, finished when Ann was talking about cum, lol.  
MISHIMA: Ah.  
MISHIMA: Did you guys really bareback?  
MISHIMA: What about... ?  
AKIRA: She's on the pill, and we're both clean.  
AKIRA: I mean, we'll use condoms with you if you want that. I guess we haven't really gotten far enough to talk about that.  
MISHIMA: Yeah, I guess that's something to think about later.  
MISHIMA: Aw, what, she never sent us a picture!  
AKIRA: Yeah, and I sent THREE.  
AKIRA: She's definitely going first next time.  
ANN: sorry boys  
ANN: didn't mean to hold out on you  
ANN: and yeah, Mishima, I didn't mean you had to go in raw if you don't want to. it's your choice  
ANN: there's still lots we can do without barebacking  
MISHIMA: I'll have to think about it, I guess.  
MISHIMA: Do you really like cum? Why???  
ANN: lol  
ANN: you liked seeing Akira's, right? said you swallowed it and had it on your tongue, right?  
MISHIMA: Yeah but...  
MISHIMA: Well, I guess it's more or less the same then.  
MISHIMA: I just thought you'd think it was gross for some reason.  
ANN: enh  
ANN: when you're in the moment it's not gross. if I had to leave it on my face or hair for very long I'd be less happy about it  
ANN: that's why I marched you to the shower right away last time after I... defiled you lmao  
MISHIMA: Lol  
MISHIMA: The only one who got defiled that night was your rug.  
MISHIMA: RIP Ann's Rug.  
ANN: I actually did have to get rid of it :/  
MISHIMA: Aw, sorry.  
ANN: worth it  
ANN: so like... I like being filled up, but the taste is not that great. not my fave. but did you really like how I tasted?  
MISHIMA: Yes. Oh my god yes.  
MISHIMA: And you smell amazing too.  
MISHIMA: And... it felt really cool to hear the sounds you were making and know that it was my mouth and my tongue doing that. :)  
ANN: I was thinking that night that you're not bad at all at kissing considering you hadn't done that much of it by then. so then when you add that, you're pretty good with your mouth overall  
ANN: like... really good. you sure that was your first time?  
MISHIMA: Uh, definitely, yes.  
ANN: Imma call you Mishimouth  
MISHIMA: Please don't.  
ANN: Akira, how was he with his mouth with you?  
MISHIMA: He's been quiet a while.  
MISHIMA: I think he is... occupied.  
ANN: again?  
MISHIMA: Um.  
ANN: you too?!  
MISHIMA: You keep bringing up nice memories for me!  
ANN: well... that is the idea I guess  
MISHIMA: I keep stopping to type though, so if it's okay with you, I think I'll focus more on what I'm doing.  
ANN: lol go ahead  
ANN: guess I'll leave you dirty boys to your own devices  
ANN: gnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKIRA: But then... what DOES the peach emoji mean?


	7. Cat custody. "You're strong!" Pretty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Return of the smut, plus something a little unsettling. Two chapters this update.

After Mishima's admission that he still wanted to pursue certain options between the three of them, the atmosphere around them felt more charged with possibilities. Kawakami called Chouno to the faculty office the next day and while the class was left unsupervised, Akira seized his chance, hoping he'd beaten Ann to the punch.

  
AKIRA: Hey Mishima.  
MISHIMA: Yeah?

  
Akira noticed him twisting in his chair to see him from across the rows of desks.

  
AKIRA: Wanna come by on Saturday night again?  
AKIRA: Overnighter, this time.

  
He felt immense satisfaction as he watched redness spread from the tips of Mishima's ears to the rest of his face. Mishima immediately turned to face forward in his desk again.

  
MISHIMA: Um. Sure?  
MISHIMA: Maybe we can eat something this time though? Got a bellyache last time from all the coffee on an empty stomach.  
AKIRA: Sorry. Sure we can. I'll make you curry.

  
Mishima shot him a small, secret smile and then pretended to be focused on his schoolwork as Chouno returned.

\----------

  
A few days later, on Saturday evening, Mishima pushed open the glass door of Leblanc. Sojiro discreetly gauged his face, then seemed to warm up to him a little, though he remained as taciturn as usual. "Tell him to lock up behind you, got it?" Mishima politely assured him that he would pass it on, and Sojiro left.

  
Mishima stood at the bottom of the stairs to the attic and craned his neck, not sure if he should go any further. "Akira...?"

  
Akira's face appeared above, openly excited to see him. "Be right down."

  
Akira locked up and flipped the sign to closed, then put on his apron. "Dinner or coffee? Both?"

  
"Both sound good if that's alright with you. Is this going to be that curry you bring for lunch sometimes?"

  
"That's the plan."

  
They chatted as he prepared the ingredients and then brought over a latte while the curry simmered. There was a heart pattern in the steamed milk.

  
Mishima dropped his face to his folded arms on the table, face red, but he was laughing. "You are so embarrassinggggg..."

  
Akira just smirked. "You asked, remember?"

  
The curry was just as good as Mishima remembered. The two of them made short work of it and then sat together comfortably, finishing their lattes.

  
Akira began to wash up the dishes to give Mishima some space, then brought up the matter at hand. "You seem less freaked out than last time."

  
"Definitely. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack during, um. During certain parts last time."

 

"You know..." Akira spoke without facing him, his hands still submerged in the sink. "Ann tells me I need to work on being patient. I'm sure she's right. We don't have to make tonight a repeat."

  
Mishima fiddled with his coffee cup, not sure that he was understanding what he meant.

  
Akira addressed the sinkful of suds. "Video games are okay with me, I mean. Movies. Whatever."

  
Mishima felt his face warm up. "Oh. Um. I guess I came here expecting more of 'whatever', though." He looked at his hands.

  
Akira drained the sink. "Well. That's on the table too." He hung up his apron and sat back down, sipping his latte. "See where things go?"

  
Mishima was the one to grab his hand, still wet from the dishes. "Yeah. Let's see where things go."

  
They settled in front of the TV, and while Akira sorted through DVD and game cases, Mishima scanned the room. "Where's your cat?"

  
"Spending the night with Ann."

  
"She's got custody on weekends, huh," he joked. "That's too bad. I kind of wanted to play with him. I've never had a pet."

  
Akira grimaced. "He's crabby lately though. Maybe he'll warm up to you the next time you're here during business hours."

  
He put a movie on but it wasn't long before Mishima twisted to face him, wanting to talk, so Akira turned it low for background noise. "What's up?"

  
"I guess I'm not... here for a movie." He played with the hem of his shirt and peered at Akira from the corner of his eye.

  
Akira didn't argue. He leaned from his chair over to Mishima's, placed a hand on his thigh to steady himself, and kissed him.

  
Mishima was keyed up and pushed his tongue into his mouth almost immediately until Akira broke the kiss. "Hey, hey, hey..." he murmured, rubbing his back to show there was no harm done. "We've got all night. Here." He stood in front of of Mishima's chair, bent down, and then shocked him by scooping him up in his arms and setting him down on the bed in one fluid motion. Mishima couldn't help but let out a tremendous squawk in surprise and Akira laughed in his ear, his arms still wrapped around his shoulders and knees. "Sorry..." But of course he didn't sound a bit sorry.

  
Mishima's stomach settled back where it belonged and his jangled nerves got him laughing breathlessly. "You're - you're strong!" He sprawled out and Akira let him go, settling on his side between Mishima and the outer edge of the bed. They were still, studying each other's faces, and then Akira angled his face to his neck, kissing gently below his ear. Mishima's shoulders finally relaxed and he sighed, comfortable. Akira continued, slowly moving on to his throat and then to where his shoulder met his neck until Mishima opened his eyes again. "Hey."

  
Akira propped himself up on one elbow and waited.

  
Without speaking a word, he placed his hands on Akira's shoulders and maneuvered him gently until he was kneeling over him. Then he pulled him down until he was laying over him, most of his weight on his elbows and knees.

  
Akira lowered his lips to his ear. "You sure?"

  
Mishima took a deep breath and then put just his fingertips between Akira's t-shirt and his skin. "I told you. I'm not scared of you." He pulled him down the last few inches until most of Akira's weight was settled on top of him, their chests pressed together.

  
Things moved a little quicker after that.

  
Akira kissed Mishima deeply until he parted his lips. He shifted his weight and arched his back until he'd found what he was looking for and grinded his hips down upon it, Mishima rewarding him with a breathy moan in his ear as they felt each other stiffen. Akira freed a hand and buried his fingers deep in Mishima's spiky hair until he was forced to tip his head all the way back and expose his smooth throat. Seeing him this way, eyes squeezed shut and panting, vulnerable and simply waiting for him to make his next move, stirred something deep in Akira. _"Fuck,_ you look good." Before he could respond, Akira had knelt over him again and was undoing his khakis roughly, finally yanking them and his briefs down and then immediately doing the same to his own pants and boxers until his cock was bared, fully hard. Without wasting a second he lowered his hips until they were skin to skin.

  
"Akira, _wait."_

  
His stomach sank. _What are you even doing? What happened to 'we've got all night?'_ He immediately rolled off and sat beside him, his legs still trapped in his pants.

  
"Not that. Don't make that face." Mishima actually smiled at him and pulled his shirt over his head, then plucked at Akira's until he understood and took his own t-shirt off. Then he wriggled all the way out of his khakis and waited for Akira to do the same. Fully nude, Akira stretched out beside him.

  
To Akira's shock Mishima looked at ease, sitting propped up with his hands behind him, his knees raised and feet flat on the bed. Fully exposed, with all of the lights on. He smiled down at him. "I just, we didn't see each other too well last time, right? I want to see you more. Before... it's over already."

  
Akira was about to correct him, perhaps remind him that he had been able to see plenty of Mishima while the lights had been on and he'd kept a pillow clamped to his face, but held his tongue. From his vantage point on his side, face at mattress level and laying further down the bed than Mishima was, he had a very nice view indeed. Between Mishima's pale, smooth thighs and just a few inches away, he could see his cock, still fully hard, and his balls, modest and rosy pink.

  
"You know I'm just going to call you pretty again." Akira couldn't keep his hands to himself any longer. He reached between Mishima's thighs and gently brushed his balls with the back of his fingers, then stroked further up with the lightest of touches.

  
He heard a soft sigh above him and realized Mishima was watching him, his face flushed and his brows drawn together.

  
It was difficult, but Akira managed to make himself stop touching him. For the time being, at least. "Stretch out for me."

  
He did as he was told, folding his hands behind his head and staring up at the ceiling as Akira knelt beside him. The lighting and angle were far better than the last time he'd seen him, and Akira took his time.

  
"You're so _smooth,"_ he said, brushing his fingertips up his thighs and across his hips.

  
"Maybe compared to you," Mishima retorted, his face turned away. "Ann said that too. What you said a minute ago, I mean. 'Pretty.'"

  
Mishima turned back and ran his fingers across his belly, where there was a little hair trailing down; it tickled enough to make Akira laugh. "This is nothing!" He used both hands to trace the outline of Mishima's hips. "I like these too. You're, um. Actually kind of curvy."

  
Mishima seemed to be growing annoyed though; he stopped gazing up at Akira and looked to the side again, his lips pressed into a thin line. "You just like girls. You keep saying I'm... girly."

  
"If I wanted a girl, I've got one I can ring up anytime I want. I want you," he said, and as if to prove his point, he brushed his fingertips back down to Mishima's cock, pressing the head into his palm.

  
It was the wrong thing to say. Mishima squirmed away and rolled onto his side, facing the wall. Akira sat upright and hung his feet off the edge of the bed, trying to give him space again. He addressed the room at large, not looking at Mishima. "You like both Ann and me, right?"

  
He glanced back just in time to catch him nodding, still staring moodily at the wall.

  
"So why don't you get that I like both Ann and you? Like, I like guys and girls in general. I don't want you to _be_ a girl."

  
Mishima's response caught him off guard. "Have you been sleeping with Ann since you had me over that one night?"

  
"What? No, we haven't done a thing for months. Ann and I."

  
"Why not?"

  
"We broke it off, I told you that. She said something about wanting us to be free to see other people without making it messy. I guess that was just a week or two before I asked you out to the diner."

  
"So like... maybe you just miss Ann. You clearly still get all... hot for each other. Like in the group chat."

  
_Yikes._ Akira risked lying down behind Mishima and tentatively slid a hand beneath his arm, resting it on his waist. When Mishima didn't tense up or resist, Akira moved closer until his chest was pressed to his back, hips kept a respectful distance away. "I think we've got some things to clear up about us and Ann still."

  
Another grim nod. "Maybe."

  
"When Ann brought up me and her 'breaking up', or whatever you call it when you're not really... being romantic with each other, I just thought she'd found someone she _did_ actually want to be romantic with. So I was happy for her and I waited to see who it would be. And then I started noticing you more in class around the same time. So like... I didn't really think about it too hard at the time, but I think she was trying to get us together. Or at least give me room to see if that's what you and I both wanted." He rubbed his palm over Mishima's chest, just as he'd done their first night together.

  
Mishima waited in silence.

  
"But... yeah. I'm still attracted to her. And she seems like she's still attracted to me. I guess since you've been seeing both of us at the same time I didn't think that was a problem? Like, she and I haven't gone back to the way we were a few months ago, but you can't really call any of this being one hundred percent exclusive either. The group chat, for example."

  
Mishima let out a shuddery sigh. "I guess it shouldn't be a problem. I just... don't want to be kept in the dark again."

  
"If we were having sex behind your back and keeping it from you, would we have had a, a group... session with you? We were all pretty open with each other, I thought."

  
Mishima relaxed his back enough to press into Akira's chest and stomach. "Yeah. I don't know why I got upset. Sorry."

  
"Don't be." Akira found his nipple with his thumb and grazed it lightly, slowly.

  
A soft noise came from Mishima that could have been protest or contentment; Akira couldn't decipher it. "Why, um. Why haven't you and Ann started having sex again? When neither of you are spending time with me, at least."

  
Akira replied immediately. "Didn't want to freak you out. You already said that you felt 'secondary'. I don't want you to feel that way."

  
Mishima lowered his chin to his chest, and Akira felt his breath on his fingers, still splayed on his skin. "I shouldn't though. I guess. I mean if I can sleep with you, and if I can sleep with Ann, then why shouldn't you and her...?"

  
"Me and Ann have more history together, that's all. It'd make sense that you'd feel like an outsider if she and I were still seeing each other. We never really put it into words, but I think that's why we've kept each other at arm's length while we're each figuring things out with you."

  
"But you'd _like_ to, wouldn't you."

  
Akira shifted his legs until they were comfortably pressed against the soles of Mishima's feet. "Not if it makes you think we're keeping secrets from you."

  
"Right, but I remember you sort of hinting at it in our chat and then she said she liked the idea but thought I needed more time."

  
"Oh. That." Akira wracked his brain, trying to recall the context. "If I remember correctly, I was hinting at a threesome, not just me and Ann."

  
Mishima tensed, then relaxed again. _"Oh."_

  
Akira took on a teasing tone, seeing if he could lighten the mood. "You haven't thought of it even once? Not even after that group chat we had a few days ago?"

  
Mishima's ears were turning red again. "Uh. I did like that."

  
"I think she didn't want me to bring it up until you seemed more comfortable. But it sort of makes sense, right?"

  
"How would that even work though?"

  
"What, _logistically?"_ Mishima nodded quickly and Akira tried to hold in his sharp laugh, but couldn't. He squeezed him close and released him to show there was no insult intended. "You really _don't_ watch porn, do you. We'd, uh, find a way. Heh."

  
"Don't laugh at me." But after he'd said it he gripped Akira's hand.

  
"Sorry." Akira stretched his legs, then returned them to where they'd been pressed against Mishima. "I won't call you pretty if it bugs you. I don't think you look like a girl."

  
Mishima sighed and then stayed silent for a long moment, thinking. Akira let him take his time, running the side of his thumb up and down his hip.

  
When he finally did speak, he curled in on himself, drawing his shoulders and legs away from Akira. "You really don't just... pretend you're with a girl? When you're with me?" His voice became even quieter. "Ann, maybe?"

  
_What?_ "Well, do you pretend I'm a girl when I'm with you?"

  
Mishima snorted. Not quite a laugh, but it was better than nothing. "No, of course not."

  
"Then why would you think...? You said something like that the first time you were here, too. Something about how I must have been thinking about a girl when I was kissing you."

  
Mishima didn't answer.

  
Akira leaned forward and clutched him to his chest, wrapping both arms around him and bringing his hips and thighs up to hug him with his entire body. "I already told you. I want you. That's it. When I'm kissing you I'm not pretending you're someone else or something. When I'm kissing you I don't have the brainpower to think about... _anything."_

  
Mishima gave him a genuine laugh that time, and Akira smiled against his neck. He loosened his arms a little and Mishima stretched out, his back against Akira's chest and the soles of his feet pressed against Akira's legs again.

  
Now that he wasn't curled up anymore, Akira let his hand wander. He trailed his fingertips over Mishima's hip, then brushed his flat stomach until he quivered away from his touch, ticklish. Akira watched over Mishima's shoulder as he let his fingers graze just the base of his cock, then smiled again when it began to harden again before his eyes. "I don't think you look like a girl," he repeated.

  
He played with his foreskin, stretching it and stroking him from tip to base until his cock stood at full hardness again. He brought his mouth down to Mishima's ear and whispered, "I _especially_ don't think you look like a girl when I've got you hard in my bed like this." He brought his hips forward just enough to press his length against the small of Mishima's back; Mishima gasped and twitched forward out of surprise, but a second later he was angling his hips back again, trying to grind against him. _Maybe this is still too fast._

  
Akira took him by the shoulders and gently pushed him away, then rolled him over until they were facing each other, laying on their sides. He ran his palm over Mishima's hair and held it there to keep him from ducking his face downward, trying to figure out his expression. "Do you really still not understand? That I like you?" He didn't give him a chance to answer. "I think this is actually kind of why Ann and I wanted to slow down, you know? When her and I were together we went way, _way_ slower than you and I did."

  
"Really?"

  
"Yeah. We just figured it out as we went. If you and I had gone that slow, I think you'd have a better idea of how much I like you. I'd have had more chances to show you."

  
Mishima pressed his forehead into Akira's palm, trying to hide his face, but Akira didn't let him, so he merely closed his eyes. His face was flushed, and his eyebrows were drawn down. "Sorry. I'm just being stupid again." Akira was about to respond with something to the contrary but Mishima cut him off. "Just feels... weird. I mean, it makes me feel weird to hear you, like, complimenting all the things about me that I. Um. Like the least." He pressed against Akira's palm more forcefully this time, his eyes still shut tightly, and Akira let him go; Mishima immediately laid his face against his chest.

  
_Aw, Mishima._ Akira felt like things were starting to click into place. "But why don't you like... ?" He suddenly remembered the run-ins Mishima had had with his former classmates at the diner, the ones who had called him a 'zero'. "Did somebody say something about... you? How you look?" He brushed his fingertips up and down the nape of Mishima's neck. "Somebody tease you?"

  
He nodded into Akira's chest and didn't elaborate.

  
Akira wrapped his arms around him again. On second thought, those former classmates of his had been from middle school. Maybe they hadn't been the culprits after all. _But whoever said that to you would have had to see your hips at the very least. Or did you mean... ?_ He couldn't tell if Mishima wanted to talk about it, and it seemed insensitive to change the subject to anything else, so he just held him. He listened to Mishima's breathing even out and slow down, and felt his shoulders relax against him. When Mishima finally raised his face again, Akira spoke first, keeping his voice low. "I'm not trying to make fun of you. Really. When I say those things to you."

  
"I guess I know that. Or- " Mishima's dark eyes tipped up to his, trying to get his point across. " -it's more like part of me knows that and part of me still feels like it's... someone else saying it. Someone who's just, you know. Trying to be shitty to me." He hid his face again.

  
Akira pressed his chin to the top of his head. "I didn't know. I'm sorry. I'll be more careful about what I say." He closed his eyes and screwed up his face; the person who had had the opportunity to see Mishima naked, who might have made him feel this way, came to mind immediately and he forced it away again. He'd ask about it when Mishima wanted to talk about it, and wouldn't waste time thinking about it until then. He didn't want to use up his rare time spent alone with him seething on his behalf over something that was already dealt with and over. He did allow himself a moment of guilt for not having thought of it sooner. _No wonder he made an entire website devoted to the Thieves. If we hadn't shown up, he might still be -_

  
"It's okay. I'll get over it." Mishima raised his face again and actually grinned at him. "Enough chatting. I didn't come here for that."

  
_That's better._ Akira mentally set aside what he'd been thinking about for later, then put on a wide-eyed, innocent expression. "Then what did you come here for?"

  
Mishima didn't answer right away, instead reaching between them and coaxing Akira until he was hard again. "This."

  
He took Akira by surprise; his hips juddered forward a little and he hissed between his teeth. "We really- " His voice jumped high and he cleared his throat. "We really could just watch a movie, you know."

  
Mishima seemed to be pleased with how Akira had reacted to his touch. "Doesn't look like _you_ want to watch a movie." He even laughed. "And you left a big sticky spot on me... "

  
Akira pulled back enough to look; there really was a shiny line of precum trailing from Mishima's belly to his hip. He had to laugh too. "Uh, sorry?"

  
"You'll have to make it up to me somehow." Mishima lowered his face again, but this time he wasn't hiding. His eyes were fixed on Akira's cock, on the way it looked when he wrapped his fingers around it and stroked it.

  
Akira closed his eyes and just enjoyed it for a moment. But then he pulled away again. "Hey, let's- " He sat up abruptly and waited for Mishima to do the same.

  
"You don't want to... ?" He looked puzzled but sat upright.

  
When the bed was clear, Akira moved over to the wall and leaned his back against it. At first he stretched his legs out straight in front of him, as he had their first night together; he reconsidered and bent his knees and opened his thighs, then patted the sheet between them. "Sit here."

  
"I don't really get what you're doing, but alright." He crawled across the bed and knelt in the space between Akira's legs.

  
It wasn't quite what Akira had meant but it worked for the time being. He pulled him closer and kissed him. Mishima warmed up to it immediately and raised himself up on his legs a little to close the distance, angling his mouth up to Akira's and parting his lips. Akira took his chance and grabbed his ass with both hands, sinking his fingers into his flesh until Mishima made a needy little noise into his mouth and thrust his hips forward, just once.

  
Akira broke away to laugh. "Pent up?"

  
Mishima nodded quickly, an intense expression on his face, and tried to go back to kissing him again.

  
But Akira dodged him; he wasn't done teasing him. "How long since you... ?"

  
Mishima rolled his eyes, fed up with him. He made one last attempt to catch Akira's mouth again but he just turned his head to the side, still groping his ass and grinning.

  
"Well?"

  
He huffed and looked away. "Like, three days."

  
"Whoa, you must be some kind of monk or something." Akira laughed harder and shielded himself with his forearm as Mishima pretended to punch him over and over, really just tapping his fists to his chest and shoulders. "Mercy, mercy!"

  
He had him laughing too now. Mishima raised himself up on his knees again and leaned against him until his chin was resting on Akira's shoulder, one arm slung around his neck. The angle gave Akira an excellent opportunity to run his fingers up and down Mishima's thighs, then higher. He didn't grope him this time; he just lightly ran his fingertips up and over his ass, then his hips. _If I can't tell you that I like how you look, I'll just have to show you._

  
Mishima sighed against his neck as Akira's fingers trailed back down, skimming over his ass until he was reaching between his legs. He brushed against Mishima's balls, letting them rest against his fingertips, and Mishima inched his hips back to improve the angle. Akira left one hand on his thigh and reached between the two of them with the other until he found his cock. Mishima let out a choked gasp as Akira pressed the head of his cock into his palm, then started stroking in earnest. _"A-ah... "_

  
Akira was tempted to keep on teasing him, but he looked too good, his hips moving forward and back just a fraction as Akira worked his hand up and down. Mishima slumped against his chest and moaned directly into his ear, and that settled it. Akira grabbed his ass again and squeezed, hard, while skimming his thumb over the underside of the head of Mishima's cock, and he only had to stroke him for a moment more before he could see Mishima's hips snap forward and felt hot cum spurt between his fingers in long pulses. Akira listened to him pant unevenly in his ear until, finally, he flopped backwards onto the mattress, his knees still bent and his feet trapped under himself. He had managed to absolutely coat his own belly and chest in cum, not to mention Akira's; his face was still drawn in an intense expression, his mouth open and his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to catch his breath.

  
Akira looked from his hand to his chest to Mishima's prone body, dumbfounded by the sheer amount. He waited until Mishima opened his eyes and made an exaggerated shocked expression at him, then grinned. "'Mmmf' is what Ann would say if she were here."

  
Mishima, blissed out and not realizing what he was referring to, rolled over and smeared his own cum thoroughly into Akira's sheets. "Oh, shit -"

  
It was a disaster. There was enough of a mess that they eventually admitted defeat and simply wiped themselves clean with the entire bedsheet. They dressed quickly, took it downstairs, made sure the coast was clear and then crept across the street and sat in the laundromat next door, chatting and laughing while they waited for first the washer, then the dryer to finish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I get too much enjoyment from making Mishima's jizz a destructive force lmao


	8. Pep talk. "Things haven't been very fair tonight." Akira's specialty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters this update!

It was only just after eleven by the time they'd made it back to Akira's bed again. They sat upright on the mattress, backs propped up against the wall with the warm sheet covering their legs and feet, in a companionable silence.

  
Akira broke it first. "Wanna watch a movie for real?"

  
"I never got you back though..."

  
"You'll just have to get me twice as good next time."

  
Mishima was apologetic but when Akira checked his face, he was relieved to see none of the uncertainty or fear that had been there during his first visit to Akira's bedroom. He was relaxed. "Still. Uh, sorry I obliterated your sheets, too."

  
Akira grinned, still impressed. "I'm going to warn Ann before you go over there next. Although I think she'll be... very satisfied." He laughed suddenly, then wrapped his arm around Mishima. "Unless you like, blast a hole in her."

  
Mishima tried not to laugh but couldn't help it, sounding horrified. "Ugh, oh man..." He sneaked a look at Akira without turning to face him. "I feel kind of nervous about that, actually."

  
"Just seeing Ann again?"

  
"No. I think she's expecting me to. Um. Bareback her."

  
"Oh, but she said that while we were in that group chat. Don't take it too seriously, she was... typing without thinking."

  
Mishima didn't look convinced.

  
"Listen, if you want to use a condom, she'll understand. It's not a dealbreaker. She really is on the pill, but I can still see why it might be a bit nervewracking to go without."

  
"Oh, not _that_. If she says she's on the pill then that's fine. I'll, uh, bareback."

  
"Then...?"

  
"I don't wanna disappoint her."

  
Akira pulled him closer. "You won't."

  
"But - "

  
"Nope! You won't." He gave him a cocky grin.

  
"Akira. I lasted barely any time at all tonight. And that was from your _hand."_

  
"Those were extenuating circumstances."

  
Mishima rolled his eyes. "She is _definitely_ going to be disappointed if that happens when I'm... inside her."

  
"Did she boot you out the door after you came in your pants?"

  
He kept forgetting what Ann must have shared with Akira behind the scenes and felt a little fresh shame roll over him. "No, but - "

  
"And she loves to bring up the rug annihilation, but that's only because she thinks it's hilarious, not because she's mad. Or disappointed."

  
"Akiraaaaa..." Mishima groaned, exasperated. "What do I do if I finish before her?"

  
Akira leaned close with the air of one passing along a great secret, voice hushed. "You will almost _certainly_ finish before her."

  
"Gee, thanks." He shot Akira a dark look.

  
"Mishima." He grinned, eyes lit up. He was enjoying this. "She took longer than me almost every single time."

  
"What! But then - "

  
"I think I got her to come like once before I did, and maybe once at the same time. It feels pretty cool. Every other time, I finished way before her."

  
Mishima just sat in stunned silence for a moment. "But, like, in movies - "

  
"I know, right? The guy's supposed to... think of baseball or something so he can last long enough. I thought that too." Akira was still enjoying his shellshocked expression. "She'll tell you what to do. Come on. You've figured out everything else before now."

  
Mishima let himself tip over sideways and slumped into Akira. "I don't know _anything."_ He tilted his face back and tried to look at him upside down. "What did you do with her, then? After?"

  
Akira made a lecherous face and wiggled his first two fingers at him. "Messy, but it works. Or her clit. Or a couple times we watched a TV show until I could go again, and then we just went back to it." He shrugged, then considered. "Maybe that's the way to do it. Maybe she'll make you come first some other way and then you'll last longer inside her the second time."

  
Mishima actually did seem somewhat reassured to receive some actionable advice. He sighed heavily and nodded.

  
Akira shifted his legs uncomfortably, sitting up a little straighter.

  
Mishima caught his eye, then smiled. "Your turn?" He whipped the warm sheets off of their legs and found what he thought he might.

  
"Heh. Maybe." But Akira turned his face away, lost in thought.

  
"What's the matter?"

  
"I was just thinking about... something... but I wasn't going to bring it up after all. I think it's too soon for you."

  
"What is?"

  
Akira turned back, nothing but serious now. "I've changed my mind. Today's not the day to ask you."

  
"At least tell me what it is, though."

  
He did, though reluctantly. "I was going to bring up the idea of fingering you today."

  
Mishima's face was blank for a moment, but then he seemed to be remembering when Akira had waggled his fingers at him when speaking about Ann. _"Oh..._ uh. Hm."

  
"It's not something we have to do."

  
"I've never really thought about... that." But then Mishima remembered a comment Akira had made in their group chat from a few days previous. "In the chat with Ann, you said something like, 'I guess we'll use condoms with you if that's what you want.' Do you really want to... do that, with me?"

  
Akira was never one to miss an opportunity. He pulled him close again and murmured, "Do I want to fuck you? Is that what you mean?"

  
To his credit, Mishima blushed furiously but held eye contact. "Yes."

  
Akira decided the subject matter warranted a more serious approach and quit teasing him. "I'd like to try it. Some day. But that's why I just wanted to talk to you about it and see what you thought. It's not, like, a requirement or anything."

  
Mishima was fiddling with the edge of the sheet next to him to give his hands something to do, and to give himself an excuse not to look Akira in the eye. "You're kinda big though."

  
"My fingers aren't. You work your way up, you know?"

  
"Yeah but... doesn't it hurt?"

  
"I'm as new to it as you are. Ann makes up most of my experience, not guys. But I've... read about it?" For once Akira looked less than sure of himself, and Mishima had to laugh, relieved for some reason. "It's something we'd have to figure out together. But if it hurts then we won't do it."

  
Mishima spoke slowly, thinking aloud. "I guess, um. I guess if it hurt a lot then guys wouldn't do it, would they."

  
"Yeah, and apparently some women prefer it over... you know." Akira was actually getting a little tongue-tied, his usual self-assurance worn away. "So it must feel nice, right?"

  
Mishima seemed to be thinking it over, then smiled. "I trust you."

\----------

  
"So like... you know what to do, right?" Now that Mishima was on his back on the bed, naked again and with his feet flat on the sheets, he felt a lot less sure about what he'd agreed to try.

  
"I read about it on the internet, yes."

  
"That is not as reassuring as you think it is." Mishima turned his head away, feeling exposed again.

  
Akira knelt between his feet on the bed, fully dressed but now wearing the drawstring pants and t-shirt that he slept in. "We'll figure it out. I'll go slow. I won't hurt you." Then something seemed to occur to him. "One sec."

  
He came back with an old ripped t-shirt and spread it out under Mishima's hips.

  
Mishima felt his face heat up. "This is. This is going to be gross. Isn't it."

  
"Nah. Just don't want lube all over my bed. One trip to the laundromat is enough."

  
"Okay but. If it is gross?"

  
Akira shrugged. "There's soap in the washroom downstairs?" He ran his thumbs up and down Mishima's thighs, liking the way there was a little give to him. "I won't think less of you, if that's what you mean."

  
Mishima mumbled into his own shoulder, face still turned away. "Guess we should start." But then his eyes went wide. "Wait, lube? Where the hell did you get lube?"

  
He felt Akira laugh into his thigh, which he'd been kissing as they talked. "You hang out in the red light district more than I do. I'm sure you've noticed some of the stores around there."

  
"Yeah, but, how?"

  
Akira pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh again. "Not everyone goes to the red light district still wearing their school uniform, Mishima."

  
Mishima let out a small, shaky laugh. "Guess that's fair. Although I don't think they'd sell to me even if I didn't have my uniform on." Then he propped himself up on his elbows. "I'm gonna lose my nerve if we don't start soon though."

  
"Alright, alright." Akira opened the bottle of lube and poured a little onto his fingertips, spreading it and trying to warm it up. "Ready?"

  
"Not really, but.... you said you'd go slow?" He lowered himself to the mattress again.

  
"Yup. If it hurts we'll stop right away."

  
"Then... do it." Mishima tried to focus on his breathing. He felt Akira's slick fingers touch him, so lightly that he felt ticklish more than anything else. Akira simply brushed him with his fingertips, over and over again, so he would get used to the sensation, before making sure his index finger was thoroughly slick. He gently slid it inside.

  
"Ooof..."

  
"Bad?"

  
"No? Feels weird."

  
"You're too tense. Hey, tell me something about what you were doing at Ann's house. Or like, what you were doing during our last group chat."

  
"Now? ...um, I was surprised she had beer. Her live-in caretaker sounds pretty chill."

  
"Yeah, I was surprised too. Ann never takes enough to actually get drunk though, so I don't really get the point, I guess." As Akira spoke he started moving his finger inside him, simply moving it in and out and ensuring the lube was spread evenly.

  
"Yeah but... umf... it helped. I was kind of freaking out. And she said it helped her too, when she started, like, sleeping with you." Mishima had begun to breathe more deeply.

  
"She said that?" Akira made sure Mishima was facing him as he became more adventurous, curling his finger a little. "I had no idea. I guess she was trying to seem more confident than she actually was, the first few times."

  
Mishima still seemed fairly relaxed. "Made me feel better. She said she thought you were a bit intimidating t-" Akira's fingertip seemed to brush up against something especially sensitive; out of nowhere, Mishima yelped and shot up to a sitting position. He swallowed. "What was _that?"_

  
Akira immediately removed his finger. "You okay? Did that hurt?"

  
"No, it just. Wasn't expecting it." He laid back down and stared at the ceiling. "This feels super weird."

  
"We can stop."

  
"No, I wanna keep going. If it's not too gross for you."

  
"Not gross." Akira kissed his knee and slipped his finger back inside. He tried to come up with another topic to keep Mishima distracted and relaxed. "I liked those green briefs of yours. What I saw of them in that photo, anyway."

  
Mishima gave a short laugh, a little out of breath. "I can't believe we shared photos like that. Pretty, uh, pretty different from where I was at a couple months ago."

  
Akira grinned. "It was a nice photo. I've looked at it a lot the last few days." He risked curling his finger again, trying to be gentle, until he found the same spot again.

  
Mishima was more prepared for it, though his hips still lifted off the bed a few inches. "Unh... why does that feel like... that?"

  
Akira pointed with his chin. "Well, look." Mishima was a fraction harder than he had been when they started, and as they both looked, he stiffened a little further, as if his cock liked the attention. Without removing his finger, Akira leaned over him and braced himself up on his other hand, then kissed him gently on the corner of his mouth. "Think we found your prostate, my friend." He searched his face for discomfort. "Want me to keep going?"

  
Mishima raised his head to kiss him as his response, and Akira continued to brush him in that spot, pressing his mouth to Mishima's as distraction.

  
He found a good rhythm and tried a more direct approach, stroking him in that spot outright now, and Mishima actually began to moan into his mouth in time to his finger's movements. Akira realized he himself had been hard for some time now and had to stop kissing him to adjust himself to a more comfortable position, shifting his clothing quickly before Mishima would take notice.

  
For his part, Mishima was fully hard now, flushed pink and raised high. Akira returned to his kneeling position between Mishima's legs. "Think you could take two fingers if I do this?" He took Mishima's cock between his fingertips and gave it an experimental stroke.

  
Mishima wasn't ready for it and slammed his hips up to Akira's hand, eyes shut tight. "Hhhnnn..." He nodded quickly, eyes still shut.

  
Akira prepared a second finger and added it to the first. Mishima tensed up again but seemed to forget the discomfort when Akira wrapped his hand around his length again. "You're doing really good."

  
He twisted his fingers a little, seeing how much Mishima could stretch without being too uncomfortable; it seemed like as long as he kept stroking him, he could scissor his two fingers until Mishima's muscles relaxed and eased up. After a few more strokes, he withdrew his other hand and prepared a third finger. Just before he pushed them in, he took the head of Mishima's cock into his mouth.

  
Mishima whipped his head to the side and choked out a gasp. Akira began to move all three fingers and brush up against that spot while lapping at the underside of Mishima's cock, taking in more and more until he had to back off again. He'd never attempted it before and, trying to remember what Mishima had done for him, sucked a little more vigorously and began to bob his head while the fingers inside Mishima worked harder.

  
Mishima did try to give him warning, though it wasn't enough. He abruptly raised himself up to his elbows and pushed his fingers into Akira's hair. "I, I - " He flopped back to the mattress and tried to stay still; his hips had other ideas and thrust into Akira's mouth while he shuddered and panted. Akira just patiently wrapped the fingers of his free hand around what he couldn't fit into his mouth and swallowed (and swallowed... and swallowed...) him down until he was done.

  
Akira slipped his fingers out and wiped them off on the t-shirt, then cleaned the excess lube off of Mishima as best he could and tossed the ripped t-shirt to the floor. When he raised his head to check on him, Mishima was still trembling, trying to catch his breath. "What was _that..."_ he repeated.

  
Akira wiped his mouth and smiled down at him. "That looked... good?"

  
He nodded vigorously, eyes still shut. "Felt weird but... I think I see the appeal now."

  
Akira stretched out next to him and kissed him again. Mishima leaned into it, tasting himself but not caring. Akira broke away and studied him from a few inches away, avidly interested. "Do you think you could come from that if I weren't giving you head?"

  
Mishima was tired but realized belatedly why Akira wasn't. "Hey, you never -" His hand found the bulge in Akira's pants and squeezed him until he swallowed a moan. "I don't know why you'd say you're impatient. Things haven't been very fair tonight."

  
"I'm not keeping score." But before he'd even finished speaking, Akira was shoving his pants and underwear down until his cock was free, returning it to Mishima's hand.

  
He stroked him gently, twisting his fingers a little and slipping his thumb up and down the underside. Akira's breathing was already ragged as he lowered himself onto his raised elbows, letting Mishima tend to him. Mishima rolled over, feeling a little sore but also immensely relaxed, and gave him his full attention. "Guess you like fingering in general, huh?"

  
Akira let out a gasp or a laugh and lowered himself the rest of the way until he lay flat on his back, then tried to gather his thoughts enough to speak. "You didn't. Didn't answer my question."

  
Mishima stroked him a little faster and felt him flex in his hand. "I dunno if I could or not. Um. Come from just that. We should try that when we've worked up to - " He squeezed Akira for emphasis. "Worked up to having you inside me."

  
Akira took on an almost comical expression of surprise, made more intense by the attention Mishima was giving him. "Oh - so you do...?" He was panting now and swallowed thickly, unable to speak further. Mishima returned to the matter at hand and picked up speed, stroking him until he'd coaxed him to the edge. Akira made a tiny noise in the back of his throat as his cock spilled into Mishima's palm and between his fingers.

  
He looked thoroughly worn out, so Mishima cleaned first his hand and then Akira, then pulled the covers over the two of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think when Akira grows up he should become a sex ed teacher, lol.


	9. Hostess gift. "Saw it in a movie once." Your turn.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ann and Mishima Have a Nice Time: The Movie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates today! This is the first.

AKIRA: Ann, you better prepare yourself.  
ANN: lol why  
AKIRA: That picture he sent us?  
ANN: good ol' green briefs?  
AKIRA: That was nothing.  
ANN: how is that even possible  
ANN: like, is he a firehose or something  
AKIRA: My bed got the same treatment as your rug.  
ANN: oh shit lmao  
AKIRA: Had to visit the laundromat at nine at night.  
ANN: oh my god  
ANN: at least you have one across the street  
AKIRA: So I'm warning you so you can like  
AKIRA: Put down a tarp or something? Lol  
ANN: gotcha  
AKIRA: We talked a bit about the next time he visits you.  
ANN: oh yeah?  
AKIRA: He's reeeeally nervous. Be extra nice to him okay?  
ANN: hey I gave him ice cream when he came in his pants lmao  
AKIRA: Is that your solution for everything? Lol  
ANN: but yeah, I will be. of course I will  
ANN: is he nervous about anything specific?  
AKIRA: Coming too fast.  
ANN: I'm starting to think all guys are worried about that  
ANN: you told him it's not a thing, right?  
AKIRA: Yeah, I tried to reassure him. Give him advice. Made me feel like a weird older brother.  
AKIRA: It occurs to me that we have sort of a unique setup, the three of us. Lol

  
\----------

  
Mishima stood on Ann's doorstep the next Sunday with his overnight bag in one hand and a small plastic bag in the other. She yanked him inside this time too, trying to avoid being detected by her nosy neighbours, then apologized for the rough treatment with a quick kiss to his temple once he was inside. "Whatcha got?"

  
Something was up. Mishima was failing spectacularly at keeping a straight face. "Hostess gift." His lips were pressed together and he stared at the wall behind her, trying to keep from laughing.

  
Ann glared at him, suspicious, but removed a book from the plastic bag he handed to her and studied it as he removed his shoes at the door. It featured artwork of a tall man passionately kissing a much shorter man on the cover. "Did you - did you just give me a fucking boys love manga?!" He bit his cheeks and nodded quickly, shoulders shaking already.

  
She hauled off and slapped him upside the head with it, making him yelp indignantly. But then she started to laugh herself. "Did you go into a store and buy this? I think you just owned yourself more than you did me..."

  
He snatched it out of her hands so she couldn't swat him with it again. "I didn't buy it in person! God Ann. I bought it online." He looked smug.

  
But she seemed to think that was even funnier. "Then... then... what if your parents had opened it before you got to it?" She was still giggling.

  
She had him there. "Well, _okay,_ but they didn't..." He flipped it open and showed her a particularly indecent page, trying to regain some ground. "Look - the tall guy's got glasses. Thought this might help keep you warm on the nights during the week when you can't see me. Since you like to think about me and Akira so much." He tried to waggle his eyebrows at her lecherously but the effect was ruined by Ann abruptly yanking his t-shirt right over his head.

  
"I still owe you, _buddy._ You better not start something you can't finish."

  
He struggled to get his clothes back in order but by the time he could see again she was already gone, racing down the hallway towards the living room.

  
His stomach was flipping slowly in anticipation as he crept down the hallway, trying to be quiet. He reached the corner and debated whether he should poke his head inside or not. When he finally got up his nerve, the living room was empty. He stepped inside, peering into the opposite corner, but then she was wrestling him down onto one of the couches where she'd lain hidden. _"Ann_ \- oof - " She pressed his face into one of the throw pillows until he kicked his socked feet at her futilely.

  
She sat on his back and pulled his head up so he could breathe, both hands entwined in his hair. _"Well?_ Truce?"

  
His face was beet red and his entire body shook with barely suppressed laughter. "I won't... I won't think any less of you."

  
She had released him and sat next to him on the couch. "What?"

  
He tensed, grinning maniacally. "If you just admitted your dirty boys love secret, we'd get you the help you need."

  
She let loose a tremendous howl of rage and tried to wrench his shirt over his head again. He was ready though, and flung himself at her until he had her flat on her back. He knelt over her, restraining her wrists in his hands against the arm of the couch, and gave her another absolutely infuriating grin. "So? Do Akira and I need to hold an intervention, or- "

  
Rather than take another second of his gloating, she raised her head and kissed him.

  
He sank down in increments as she pressed her lips up to his, loosening his grip on her wrists and relaxing until he was resting on his knees and elbows above her. She parted her lips for him and he kissed back more fervently, forgetting everything else. Ann took the opportunity to take back her hands and began to run her fingers up first his thighs, then his hips, before finally gripping his ass, hard. He broke the kiss in surprise and panted down at her, his eyes dark and wearing an urgent expression.

  
Still holding his eye and trying to catch her breath herself, she let go of him and undid his zipper instead.

  
She felt his thighs tense above her involuntarily when he realized what she'd done. "Ann - "

  
She pulled him from his briefs and pants by touch alone and held him in her hand as he became fully hard, staring up at him all the while. "I'm on the pill." She ran her fingers over the edges of the head and he had to shut his eyes as the muscles in his thighs clenched again. Instead of answering, he lifted himself off of the couch and finished undressing until he stood naked in her living room, while she did the same. All of his previous tension seemed to have melted away. She wondered if he'd been thinking about this as much as she'd been.

  
She was lying on her back on the couch again, finally able to get a good look at him. He didn't shy away from her gaze this time because he was just as busy looking at her, stretched full length and waiting. He stood, slim and bluish-white from the light of the TV that had been left on at a low volume, and just studied her until she raised her hand and motioned for him to join her again. He knelt between her knees, searching her face for any sign that she'd changed her mind, and then lowered himself on top of her. "Are you sure?" he murmured.

  
She just nodded, smiling. For encouragement, she ran her fingertips down his chest, then his stomach, until she was gripping him lightly once more. "Help me get ready, okay?" she whispered.

  
He was starting to feel nervous again, although he had at least some idea of what to do now. He brushed the short hairs between her legs with his thumb, then slipped his fingertip just between her lips until he felt her wetness and spread it as much as he could. Keeping an eye on her face, he gently slid his finger inside and watched her sigh.

  
Then he broke the somber mood by laughing like a kid. "Ann, you feel really cool inside."

  
She cracked up too and he felt her muscles move around his finger as she did. "Thanks? I try."

  
Reassured, he stroked her gingerly until her breathing sped him on. "Is this right?"

  
"Yeah... you can be rougher than that, too."

  
_Really?_

  
She must have seen the doubt on his face. "You won't hurt me. Oh. Sorta curl your finger upward if you can."

  
He proceeded even more warily than before and did as she asked, gradually speeding up until she was sighing in rhythm again. When she was silent between breaths he realized that his finger was making some truly interesting noises itself as it slicked in and out of her.

  
"You're pretty wet," he said, his voice hushed.

  
"Let's give it a try," she said, then paused. "Mm. Hey, go like this." She mimed licking the palm of her hand.

  
"And do what...?"

  
She laughed, but not unkindly. "I'm wet but you're not. Right?"

  
_Oh. Duh._

  
He did as she asked, spreading it over the head of his cock and over as much of his length as he could. Then she opened her legs further for him and gave him one more nod of assurance before he slowly pressed inside.

  
He was raised on his elbows above her, focusing on keeping his weight from entering her too quickly, when he hazarded a glance at her face. She was silent but her features were animated; first she was biting her lip as her eyebrows drew down, then she flung her head back onto the pillow behind her; finally she released a long, shaky breath when the tops of his thighs met the undersides of hers.

He was all the way in. She opened her eyes. "You feel... _really_ good."

  
His concerned expression evaporated, and he gave her a sunny grin. "Not as good as you do, I bet." He kept himself still with an effort, waiting for her go-ahead.

  
"Actually, lemme see if I can - " One of her legs was trapped awkwardly between him and the back of the couch, and after some consideration, she stretched out both legs and propped her ankles on his shoulders. "There."

  
He laughed uncertainly, kneeling upright while she adjusted her legs. "You sure? Is that even comfortable?" His cock was aching for more stimulation, but he made himself wait.

  
"Saw it in a movie once." She grinned impishly and beckoned him forward with her finger until he was leaning on her legs. She must have been onto something because as he rested the last of his weight on her thighs, his toes pressed to the couch arm for leverage, he felt himself slide in another inch or two farther than he'd been able to before, and they both moaned in unison. She knew what he'd been waiting for. "Mishima." She lifted her head just enough to press a quick kiss to his forehead, the only part she could reach. _"Fuck_ me."

  
He started to move.

  
She felt absolutely incredible. He'd had no idea it was going to be like this. The couch was slippery but with some extra maneuvering he was able to prop himself up with his knees and slide himself in and out of her in long, deep strokes. She began to moan in rhythm almost immediately, her eyes shut in an intense expression.

  
_How am I going to last even a few minutes like this...?_

  
She must have felt him falter because she opened her eyes at once and studied his face. "This is good. But let's get to it."

  
"What do you -"

  
She cut him off. "Hard. Hard as you can." She leaned forward and grabbed his hips, then yanked him against her as best she could to demonstrate. "Fast."

  
"I- "

  
"You won't hurt me." She gave him her best reassuring smile, trying not to show how desperately impatient she felt.

  
He did his best, grabbing her legs and achieving a much faster rhythm, but it was clear he was still afraid of causing her pain. He'd need a bit more prodding.

  
"Harder- c'mon, harder -" They were both breathing heavily, and it certainly wasn't bad. But she'd waited so long. She needed more. "Mishima. I can't move very well. You gotta do this for the both of us." She gripped her thighs and canted her hips up even further until he sank all the way into her again. "Now _pound_ me."

  
_Finally._ He slammed into her over and over, finding that spot of hers that craved it. Her moans filled the room again as his cock pounded her, his strokes abrupt and rough as he snapped his hips into her. She loved looking at his face as he panted above her, focused on finding the perfect angle to make her cry out. He gave her a few more minutes of just what she wanted before his hips stuttered and gave her one more deep thrust until he was still again, his breath hitching. His cock pulsed and she moaned one last time as she felt it fill her up, then growled and threw her head back again. "Unngh. _Yes."_

  
Mishima was trying to catch his breath above her, head hanging down and gripping her thighs. She sensed him about to move away and she lowered her legs instead, wrapping them around him and trying to draw him closer with her hands at the same time. "Here."

  
Still inside her, he let her wrap her arms around him and lay on top of her, listening to her heartbeat. She hadn't come and hadn't expected to, but she lay still, trying to preserve the sensations for as long as she could. She felt him begin to go soft and enjoyed that too, as his cock eased out inch by inch and left her with what felt like an impossible amount of hot cum, leaking slowly out of her with a pleasant tickling as her thoughts started to come back to her. She felt laughter bubble up within her and couldn't stop it.

  
He raised his head just enough to look at her, and she was sorry to see that he looked hurt. She interrupted his unasked question. "No, I'm just laughing because I'm happy. That was so, so good." He tried to withdraw again and she gripped his hips for just long enough to clench her walls around him like a farewell before reluctantly letting him go. She felt his cock pull more warm cum out after it and laughed again, feeling filthy and loving it.

  
Mishima was kneeling again, eyes fixed between her legs. "Was that okay?" he asked, just barely glancing at her face before he went back to studying how his cum was still leaking out of her. Without waiting for her to answer, he stroked her lips gently with his thumb, making her gasp.

  
"More than okay."

  
"Even though you didn't...?"

  
"I usually don't." She gathered her thoughts enough to raise her head and look him in the eye and make sure he understood. "You did great, Mishima."

  
He smiled, looking a lot more at ease. "Your turn, then." He was about to begin touching her again but she stopped him.

  
"Think we'd better do something about this mess first. Can you reach my t-shirt?" He handed it to her and she got up to look at where she'd been laying, starting to laugh again when she saw the extent of the mess. She knelt on the floor to wipe at the puddle they'd left on the leather couch, then turned to face him, her lips pressed together tightly to try to hold the laughter in. "Akira told me to put a tarp down, but I didn't listen...."

  
He seemed to be scoping her out instead of really listening to her. Suddenly he ran his index finger up her inner thigh and showed it to her. "She's sprung a leak, captain!"

  
She just laughed harder and he leaned closer to run his fingers back up her thighs. "No, don't laugh - ! You're making it worse!" He grabbed her now slimy t-shirt and finished wiping up the couch as best he could, then himself. He traded places with her, kneeling on the carpet in front of it and indicating she should sit in front of him. "C'mere."

  
She guessed at what he meant and hesitated. "Oh, geeze, you don't have to do _that..."_

  
He just shrugged in response and waited for her to sit. He spread her legs and placed her ankles on his shoulders, just like the last time he'd spent the night.

  
Mishima grabbed the t-shirt and did his best to wipe her thighs clean, though at this point he was mostly just spreading it around. He tossed it aside and leaned close.

  
He studied her, just inches away from his face. Her lips and folds were dark and puffy with arousal again, and as he watched, another fat droplet of cum dripped out from deep inside her. He caught it with the side of his thumb before it could hit the carpet and, feeling her eyes on him, went to work.

  
He felt her stiffen and then gasp as he parted her with his tongue, slicking her from bottom to top and mouthing at her.

  
"You really don't have to - "

  
His answer was to look her in the eye and keep tonguing her.

  
He could taste himself, of course, and had to swallow a mouthful of their combined fluids every so often. But it barely registered when he could taste and smell her, and listen to her cries grow in urgency as he tended to her clit. He lost himself in her taste and sounds and it almost seemed too soon when she rolled her hips up to him and clenched her thighs tight. But the sound of her brought him back to himself - it was so different this time. Her voice was deep, almost guttural, and she arched her back until he couldn't see her face anymore. He took her through it until her quivering ceased, and felt deeply content.

  
She slumped against the cushions above him as he unglued his sticky face from between her thighs and did his best to wipe it clean with both hands, since the t-shirt was saturated. He got up and sat next to her on the couch where she was slumped back at an awkward angle, still trying to catch her breath. "I can't believe you -"

  
He made sure she was looking at him and then slowly ran his tongue along his upper lip. She was still half-giddy from coming, and the goofy face he made sent her over the edge. She giggled at him as tears streamed down her face, folded double with her face pressed to her knees until he just leaned over her and gave her a hug, his chest against her quaking back. He murmured directly into her shoulder, "Maybe we'd better go have a shower before you get stuck to the couch." She nodded, face still hidden, and they stumbled to the bathroom together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I should start tagging Mishima's jizz as a fourth character lmao.


	10. "You gave me everything I wanted." Wish you were here. Mishima's dentist.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ann and Mishima Have a Nice Time: The Sequel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates today! This is the second.

He was much more at ease this time in the shower than he had been the last time. He moved slowly and deliberately, lathering her with soap and letting her look at him and touch him as much as she wanted. He wore a lazy, blissed out expression and before they were really clean, she realized he was fully hard once more. "Again?"

  
He just nodded into her shoulder, his arms around her. He couldn't seem to keep his hands off of her, kissing her neck and plunging his fingers into her wet hair. He inhaled deeply and bent low to take her nipple into his mouth, lapping at her roughly until she moaned.

  
"Mishima -"

  
He stopped and met her eyes. His pupils were dilated, his eyes hooded.

  
She sat on the floor on the shower, thighs spread far apart and motioned for him to join her. Without speaking a word he knelt in front of her and slowly pressed into her again; she was still so wet and relaxed from the first time that he could begin thrusting right away. She braced her shoulders against the rear wall and felt him grip her thighs, lifting her into his lap. He buried his face into her shoulder again and she was shocked to hear him - the noises he was making were something else. He had been mostly silent their first time but now he was making low, rough grunts in time with his thrusts, and she moaned as much at the sound of him as she did to feel him. They were more in sync now. His cock was hitting her just right, hard and fast, while she did her best to rock her hips against him; they were at just the right angle for her clit to rub against him as he thrusted, and to her surprise she felt a second orgasm approach. She urged him on, hissing between her teeth, "Come quick come quick come quick - "

  
Whether it was just to hear her or whether it was because he'd been trying to hold back, she couldn't tell, but she felt him give her two or three more rough strokes before he pulsed and filled her up again. He set her off and she writhed in his lap, crying out and digging her nails into his thighs. They panted against each other and listened to the shower run until he stirred and withdrew, staring intently between her legs as his cum leaked out and began to wash down the drain. She caught him looking and he laughed, sounding a little embarrassed despite everything they'd just done. "I didn't know it would look like that... "

  
Ann felt too shaky to get up and just sat up against the back wall. She hadn't felt so sated in a long, long time. He seemed to understand and sat next to her, using their proximity as an excuse to soap up her feet and calves. She let him clean her inner thighs and, gently, he eased his soapy fingers through the short hair between her legs. She was sensitive now and sighed against him, gathering herself at last and giving him a kiss. "You gave me everything I wanted."

  
He just kissed her back, looking immensely satisfied, and rinsed her off. She got up at last and was about to turn off the water when he stopped her. "Wait. You've got like..." He searched for the phrase, looking at the ceiling. "Raccoon eyes." She laughed - the state of her makeup seemed very trivial right now - but she scrubbed at her face until he gave her the thumbs up.

  
Dried off and laying in bed, his arm around her hip and his face pressed to the back of her neck, she felt a little more down to earth. "Mishima, I can't believe you did that."

  
He pulled her closer. "You're gonna have to be more specific."

  
She stomped his foot lightly with her heel. "Think you know _exactly_ what I mean."

  
She felt him shrug behind her, just as he had before. "You needed my help." But then he seemed to reconsider his answer. "Do you think it was gross of me, though?"

"Nooooo. That was... " Without thinking about what she was doing, she pressed her hips back into him at the thought of what he'd done. " ...mmf. Really, really good. I just didn't think you'd do _that."_

  
She could feel him smile against the back of her neck. "Then I'm glad I did."

  
They lay like that for a while longer, not speaking or thinking much, until she felt a little more alert. It wasn't that late, after all. She tensed, then rolled over abruptly until she faced him again. He looked like he'd fallen asleep; he had raised his head from her pillow to look at her but his eyes were already closing again. "Hey, don't sleep yet! Why are you so tired already?"

  
He gave her what was probably supposed to be a cocky grin, although the effect was ruined by the fact that his eyes were still closed. "I did all the work, didn't I?"

  
He had a point. "Well, I _guess,"_ she huffed. "Aren't you hungry though? I'll make us something."

  
If he'd been expecting something of the same calibre as Akira's curry, he was setting himself up for disappointment. Ann nuked two instant ramens, then pulled two Sapporos from the fridge.

  
"What, do you think I need help relaxing again?" he asked as she set everything down on the coffee table in front of the TV.

  
"This is your reward at the end of a job well done." She made a little mock bow at him. "Thank you for all your hard work today."

  
He grinned, delighted at the idea. "I could get behind that kind of part-timer work."

  
They ate quickly, suddenly ravenous. She noticed he was just sipping at his beer and raised her can to him. "Race you!" They each downed the rest in less than a minute, then collapsed against the back of the couch as if they'd run a marathon. In tacit agreement they'd both avoided the sullied couch they'd used before and had chosen the other.

  
The next time she looked over during a commercial break, she realized that his face was flushed red and he was holding up his head in one hand. "You _are_ a lightweight!"

  
He shoved her shoulder until she flopped sideways feebly. "Look who's talking." Then he dropped his head into her lap, looking up at her with sleepy eyes. She kept watching TV, absentmindedly playing with his damp hair and trying to put it back up into its usual spikes.

  
She'd forgotten the kind of effect that could have on him until she felt him reach up and start stroking one of her nipples through her shirt, inches from his face. When she looked down again he wore a very serious expression, intent on his handiwork. "Don't tell me you're ready to go _again... "_ When they both glanced towards the other end of the couch, they found he was only slightly hard, and he shook his head in reply without stopping what he was doing. She laughed and leaned down to press her chest to his face until he had to stop touching her, unable to see.

  
She retreated enough to see him again, then gave his hair one final tug, hard enough for him to close his eyes in bliss. "I have a better idea." When he gestured vaguely at his condition, she shook her head and abruptly dumped him off her lap, disappearing down the hall. "BRB."

  
"Bee are...? Oh."

  
She came back with her phone in her hand, a little unsteady on her feet. "Let's make Akira wish he were here."

  
With some effort he pulled himself back up to a sitting position. "How are we supposed to do that?"

  
She dropped next to him and pulled at the waistband of the cotton shorts he'd changed into after their shower. "Didn't catch what you had on today. Green...?"

  
He nodded heavily. "What, are we going to send photos?" He seemed to be having trouble keeping his head steady but was already wriggling out of his shorts.

  
"Yeah, fashion shoot time." She trained the camera on him, now seated on the couch in the same green briefs they'd seen him in during their group chat a week or two earlier, or a similar pair. "Here, lift up your shirt - "

  
He started to laugh after she'd taken a couple of photos. "Hey, tit for tat, remember - " he said and swiped her phone from her loose grip. He squinted at the screen and managed to take a blurry photo of her legs in her pajama pants.

  
"Mishima, I think I'd better split a can with you next time," she said, and grabbed her phone back. She took off her pants and sat back down, wearing only another t-shirt and her underwear. This time they were simple white bikini cut panties with a faint polka dot pattern, the fabric thin enough to show a difference in colour where her hair began. She spread her legs a little and took an angled shot for Akira's benefit. Then she had an evil idea.

  
She kissed Mishima fiercely until he was splayed back against the couch cushions and gasping by the time she pulled back. "I know what will really get his attention."

  
He just lay there, red-faced and breathing hard, waiting for the answer.

  
"He's already seen you in these. And more than that. But he hasn't seen _me_ in them."

  
He laughed again. "He'll just say that me and him were right, that you really _do_ wear men's underwear. You sure you want that?"

  
She was tugging at his briefs already. "C'mon, let's see if they fit!"

  
Playing with her nipples and kissing her had had some limited effect; he was perhaps half hard by now, trying not to tip over as he removed his briefs and tossed them in her general direction. She yanked them on and stood with her hands on her hips in front of him to show them off. "Ta-da!"

  
He was giggling helplessly now, more at her absurdly pleased face than at what she was wearing. "I'll just _give_ you a pair if you like the dumb things so much... "

  
She closed the trap. "Then what will you wear? Mm. Here." She tossed her white panties at him and, tipsy and compliant, he automatically drew them halfway up his legs before he inspected them.

  
"These are - "

  
She pounced on him and grabbed his wrist before he could take them off, then straddled him and caught his eye. "Akira would _really_ like to see you in these... "

  
He was still giggling a bit. "Is your name Akira now?"

  
"Well, okay. _I_ think you'd look super hot in these," she admitted. "And I can guarantee that he'll like them too." She reached between her own legs and tried to yank the panties up the rest of the way.

"C'mooooon - "

  
His resistance was already low and she had him. "As long as you tell him it was all your idea - "

  
He pulled them on the rest of the way. Ann immediately groped him, trying to coax him to full hardness through the fabric; it didn't take long. The effect was obscene: there was extra room because his hips were narrower than hers, but it was more than taken up by the way his cock stretched out the front, his outline and colouring visible through the thin cotton. His balls were pushed high and round. She grabbed her phone and took several photos before he could change his mind.

  
He was just watching her from the couch, smirking. "Is this a boys love thing?"

  
"No! I mean, I wouldn't know, would I?" She stuck out her tongue, unwittingly moving the hand holding her phone within reach. He snatched it from her and took a few photos of her wearing his briefs. They stretched across her hips and would fit her perfectly if it weren't for the extra room in the front.

  
In revenge she took back her phone and sent a selection of the photos to Akira in the chat without any further explanation before she could think better of it. Mishima belatedly realized what she was doing and groaned into his hands. "Oh my godddd, why did I let you -"

  
Akira had already replied, the notification sound cutting Mishima off.

  
AKIRA: Holy shit.  
AKIRA: I am ON THE TRAIN you guys.  
AKIRA: And I think Morgana's opinion of you has been thoroughly driven into the ground, Ann.  
AKIRA: But I approve.  
AKIRA: Now I need to stop looking at these and save them for later before they kick me off the train. Or arrest me.

  
Ann showed Mishima the messages, then crowed in triumph. "See?! I knew he'd like them!"

  
He had been peering over her shoulder at her phone and now buried his face in her hair, laughing again despite himself. "I hate yoooooooou." He still hadn't removed her panties though, she noted.

  
"Make it up to you?" She traced her fingers over his length through the fabric.

  
He sighed against her neck and squirmed a little into her hand, seeming tempted. "Better not. I'm kinda sore," he admitted. Then he straightened to gauge her face. "If I'm sore, I bet you are..."

  
She nodded but smiled fondly. "It's a good kind of sore."

  
His eyes went wide suddenly. "Oh frick, I'm so dumb - " He jumped off the couch and, realizing what he was still wearing, kicked off the panties and flung them at her face. Then he went to her bedroom, steadier on his feet now that the alcohol was starting to wear off.

  
"Mishima, what - "

  
He was already back with his overnight bag in his hands. "I brought something to help and then forgot all about it." He handed her a small bottle of lube.

  
"How did you get this?" She leaned forward and slung her arm around his neck, pleased. "And that's a nice thought, but you got me plenty wet. I'd be a bit sore now no matter what."

  
"Akira's, not mine. He gave it to me to practice with and I decided to bring it in case it helped with you and me."

  
She kept her face as expressionless as she could, although she couldn't do anything about the way it was heating up. "Practice what?"

  
Embarrassment flooded his face and he turned away. "Oh, uh, noth- "

  
She tackled him and laid on him so he couldn't get away. "You can tell me."

  
From below her she watched his face regain a bit of composure. "Yeah I _bet_ you wanna know. You just want more... " He gave her a knowing grin. " ...more _wank fodder."_

  
She squawked indignantly as he went on. "I've sat in the same class as you for months and months but I never suspected the, the _depths_ of your depravity - " She pummeled his shoulders with her fists until he wrapped his arms around her to stop her, both of them laughing now.

  
"Tell meeeee. You know Akira will just tell me everything he's been doing with you the next time I ask."

  
He buried his face into her chest so he wouldn't have to look at her. "Remember how much Akira liked fingering you?" Her guess had been right. "I think that's kind of his thing."

  
She spoke quietly from above him. "Are you two going to... ?"

  
He nodded, his face moving against her breasts within her shirt. "Gonna try."

  
She freed one of her hands to run her fingers through his hair, gently this time. "Nervous? He's, uh, not small."

  
Another nod.

  
"We thought about trying that. Akira and me. But then we always just got right to the quickest thing without attempting it." She laughed. "Maybe we're both impatient."

  
She could feel his breath against her through the fabric. He seemed to be lost in thought.

  
She shifted against him. "So he told you to bring that home with you and practice? Work your way up to his... size?"

  
He sighed. "Yeah. I dunno what I'm doing though. It felt weird but kind of good when he did it. When I do it I just sorta. Seize up." He finally tipped his face back up to hers. His brows were knit together, apprehensive. "Maybe it's the angle."

  
She lowered herself to kiss his forehead. "Want a hand?"

  
He snorted at her pun, then hid his face in her chest again. "That's too gross. You don't wanna see me like that."

  
"Ugh. You need to get over this thing about thinking you're gross. Or thinking it's impossible that a girl might like the same things you like," she murmured into his hair. "Besides. I owe you big time tonight. You're really... giving."

  
He laughed a little into her chest. "You make it sound like I'm so selfless. It's not exactly a chore for me to, to, use my mouth on you like that."

  
"You said something in the chat about how you liked seeing and hearing me react to what you're doing?"

  
He wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her down to him tightly for a moment. "I really like the faces you make. And you're pretty... vocal? It's like you're telling me exactly what you like while I'm doing it."

  
_Gotcha._ "Then why are you surprised to hear that I'd want to see you that way?"

  
He huffed against her. "I'm not a girl. God, Ann. I'm not gonna, like, make girl noises. Or look the same as you."

  
She made an annoyed noise at him. "I _know_ that. I didn't mean it that literally. But I bet you were making some interesting faces while Akira was fingering you, at least."

  
"Well. I dunno about that. But he was super hard by the end of it."

  
She swallowed a happy little moan. "Mmf. I gotta sit in with you boys sometime." She laughed. "I'll stay quiet, I promise."

  
He revealed his face just long enough to mouth "boys love" at her before laughing himself and hiding again.

  
"So... why don't you let me help you? You'll get some better practice in before the next time you see him, and I get to see you... happy."

  
He shifted his legs a little. "I still don't really see what you'll get out of it. But. I gotta admit I don't know how I'll ever get myself up to his... level." He sighed against her. "I don't know how _you_ and him ever made it work, either."

  
"What, you don't get how he fit... ? Girls are stretchy, that's all. We just had to go slow at first and let me adjust before he could like, start pounding."

  
His hands wrapped around her back again, then travelled down until he'd found her ass, still in his briefs, and started squeezing it gently. She realized he'd become fully hard again beneath her. "I think. I think I'd like to see you and him together at some point too. If we're being honest."

  
She lowered her face and smiled into his hair, then shifted her hips just a little until she felt him hard against her again. "I still kinda worry about wrecking what you and me have, somehow. But... I _have_ been thinking about that for a while." She cleared her throat. "But like, don't misunderstand. Akira and me have been hands-off for months. If the three of us got together like that, if me and Akira... well, if we had sex again, I'm not gonna drop you like a rock or something. I like what you and me have." She started running her fingers through his hair again. "I don't want you to think you're my... second choice, or something."

  
He finally raised his face. "You think if I saw you two together, I'd be jealous?"

  
She nodded. "I mean, maybe? Like, there's probably a good reason most people pair off instead of... whatever you call what we've got with him."

  
He looked thoughtful. "You do compare me to him a lot. I mean, you bring him up a lot."

  
"I guess I do. Sorry. That's shitty of me. He just makes up most of my experience before you, that's all." She tried to look apologetic. "You both treat me pretty differently, actually. It's not like I'm trying to decide who's better. I like both of you."

  
Instead of answering he tilted his head and began kissing her below her jaw, as if he was trying to tell her he understood. His hands gripped her ass more insistently, and she felt what was pressing into her shift a little.

  
She smiled ruefully and spoke into his hair. "I'd like to, but I think I'm too sore for round three."

  
He smiled against her neck. "Me too. If, um. If your offer still stands, though... I think I could use your help."

  
\----------

  
Ann laid him out on her bed this time, a small towel under his hips. She rummaged in her drawer and pulled out a comically long string of condoms. Mishima's eyes went huge. "You and Akira really bought in bulk, huh... ?"

  
"You know him. He goes all out or not at all. He brought the biggest box they sell the first night he came over, in case I wanted to use them, and we never wound up using a single one."

  
He appeared to be thinking about something else, then turned his face away, looking anxious. She managed to guess. "I wouldn't bother but my nails are longer than Akira's. You don't want a nick." He nodded, then ran his hands over her bedspread and looked her in the eye.

  
"You can still back out if you want. It might be - "

  
"If you say gross I'm going to punch you."

  
Maybe that was not the right approach. He turned his face away again. She brought the lube and condoms to the foot of the bed and knelt over him to kiss him.

  
"Come on. People do this every day, right?"

  
"Well, I don't! _You_ don't." He was gathering his thoughts. "If it's gross I'd somehow rather Akira see it than you. I guess."

  
"It won't be gross. If it is gross, we can hop in the shower again." She ran her hand up his chest. "You know, after your last time over, Akira told me about your late night laundromat trip and warned me to put a tarp down for your cum. Heh. Because you're a goddamn firehose. But he didn't say anything about you being gross."

  
"Well. Okay." He was able to smile a little.

  
She returned to the foot of the bed, wrapped a condom around her first two fingers, then stopped. "What did he do with you, exactly? I don't know much about... this."

  
He was staring at the ceiling. "Went slow, I guess. Added one finger at a time and we got up to three. He was good at distracting me."

  
She laughed. "Like how the dentist distracts you?"

  
To her surprise he actually shuddered, then laughed too. "I just pictured my dentist sucking my... "

  
"I meant with small talk! Geeze. Your dentist is going to jail, Mishima."

  
While he was still laughing, she readjusted her fingers until only her index finger was in the condom, then added a generous amount of lube to the outside and prodded him with it.

  
From the yelp he made, she guessed that wasn't the way to go about it. "What? What is it?"

  
"Cold! I guess he warmed it up somehow."

  
"Eep. Sorry. Lemme see here..." She did her best and reintroduced her finger a minute or so later. "Better?"

  
"Yeah, think so. Keep going."

  
She slowly slid her finger inside. His breathing sped up, then slowed down as he visibly tried to relax himself. She put on an absurdly deep "manly" voice and repeated what he'd said to her earlier. "'Mishima, you feel really cool inside.'"

  
He hid his face in his hands. "Shut uuuuuup..." But she had him laughing again, and he was more at ease. She kept thrusting gently, then moved up to a second finger.

  
"So like... what does it feel like? Good... ?" She was guessing no, judging by the fact she could see very well that he was more or less unaroused again.

  
"I think Akira was doing something different than just this. He told me he found my prostate... ?"

  
_Where the heck is that, then?_ "Guess I'll, uh, go hunting." She stroked his bare hip with her free hand and tentatively explored inside him with the other. Finally, she discovered a spot that made him tense up and gasp. "Did that hurt?"

  
He shook his head, then shrugged. "I think that's it... ? Go easy though."

  
She kept her eyes on his face and found it again, and was surprised to see him start sighing in rhythm with her touch almost immediately. _There we go._ She watched his face go from an expression of discomfort to one of intensity, almost like he was listening to something with his eyes closed, and before her eyes his cock began to stiffen. Encouraged, she tried a third finger and increased the pressure on that spot by a fraction, thrusting a little faster.

  
She held her breath, not wanting to pull him out of the moment, as his hips began to move to meet her. He was fucking her fingers, fully hard now. But Akira was still bigger than three of her slim fingers. She added a fourth and folded them together, trying not to break the rhythm too much.

  
He turned his head to the side, eyes still closed, and exhaled a soft sound into his shoulder.

  
Quiet, but she'd still heard it. _I knew I could get you moaning._ He wasn't the only one who liked it; she shifted her legs and realized she was wet all over again. As she watched him thrust against her, she realized why - it was immensely intimate, as if she were watching him alone, lost in himself. He trusted her to bring him to this state and share it with her, despite his fears, and she could see just how he felt by his face and his motions. She had a slightly better understanding of why he liked to use his mouth on her now - or, at least, why he liked to watch her while he did it.

  
She tried a faster pace and a choppier, shorter stroke with her fingers, closer to what she liked when he was inside her, without neglecting the area inside him that she'd been aiming for. His reaction was immediate; his breathing sped up to match her and he actually began moaning in time - only quietly, but she could hear him just fine. She could feel herself responding to the sound itself, warmth unfolding deep in her belly as she kept fingering him, trying to maintain an even pace. _Maybe I should -_

  
At the risk of breaking his concentration, she used her free hand and her knees to angle his hips up and bring him closer, a few inches up on her lap as she knelt between his legs. Keeping a close eye on his face, she brought herself close and took his cock into her mouth.

  
He nearly yelled in surprise, but it sounded so much closer to a loud, broken moan that she couldn't help but moan herself around his cock. She remembered him saying that he was sore so she kept her fingers thrusting and used her tongue gently, more to add sensation than as the main focus. It had been a long time since she'd given Akira head but she could remember what he'd liked, more or less, and tried it out on Mishima with less force. Soon he was moaning quietly in time again, his hips still rising to meet her fingers, and she loosened her lips to let him into her mouth as he pleased. He was thrusting shallowly only and she simply focused on using her tongue to lap at the underside.

  
His hips began to move quicker on their own and she guessed at what he might want; she picked up the pace too and fingered him in short, abrupt thrusts. _Does that mean he's close...?_ She took him deep in her mouth, sucking harder and bobbing her head, and his hips suddenly stopped. She could feel the strangest sensation of him gripping her fingers, as if he was pulling her deeper, and his cock flexed against her tongue. She knew what was coming and steeled herself, but he seemed to have already mostly depleted himself and she only had to swallow a small amount as he coated her tongue.

  
When she released him and withdrew her fingers, he was panting and used up, eyes still closed. She tossed the condom and wiped the excess lube from him, then lay next to him until he could compose himself enough to speak.

  
He finally turned his face to hers a few inches away. There was a little sweat in his hair and he looked utterly worn out. _"Fuck."_ His voice broke.

  
She laughed and kissed his cheek, satisfied with her efforts. "Good?"

  
He nodded mutely and rolled over to embrace her. "I think I... wow." He still didn't have his head together, and she watched him struggle to piece together a sentence. "Think. Think I got some good practice in."

  
She lifted her hand and showed him her four fingers, then squeezed them together with her other hand. "Akira's big but we'll get you there!" she chirped.

  
He laughed into her shoulder, eyes closed again, and she had to wake him to get him under the covers with her. She fell asleep flat on her back with his head on her shoulder and his arm across her belly, one leg flung over hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will add more f/m anal play to the internet one. Fic. At a time. *clenches fist*


	11. A strong male role model. Trophy unlocked. "You're not listening to me."

AKIRA: So uh.  
AKIRA: Now that I have you gathered here today.  
AKIRA: Is anyone going to explain those photos you guys sent me on the train?  
AKIRA: My dick is so confused.  
ANN: lol  
MISHIMA: IT WAS HER IDEA.  
AKIRA: I wasn't complaining though.  
MISHIMA: Oh shut up. Goddamn you guys.  
ANN: him and me can't be trusted together. we just get into soooo much trouble  
ANN: guess you better be there to supervise us next time  
AKIRA: Yeah, you guys need me to keep you in line.  
AKIRA: I think Mishima needs a strong male role model to keep him from going astray.  
MISHIMA: What! I did just fine without you!  
MISHIMA: Ann seemed to think so, anyway.  
ANN: hell yes  
ANN: Akira he has a superpower  
ANN: there was... so much  
ANN: so, so much  
MISHIMA: Don't tell me you had to get rid of one of your couches this time. >_>  
ANN: lol no  
ANN: had to bust out the cleaning supplies tho  
ANN: Akira and I really do need to go halvsies on a sex tarp lmao  
MISHIMA: Sorry to be a bad houseguest.  
ANN: actually you did bring me a  
ANN: hostess gift???  
ANN: is that a thing?  
MISHIMA: Bet you already read it all.  
ANN: you wouldn't be saying that if we were in the same room, buddy  
AKIRA: Wait, what was this gift?  
ANN: Akira, he gave me a FUCKING BL MANGA  
AKIRA: Yessssss  
AKIRA: Mishima, you're a genius.  
AKIRA: Now she won't be lonely when you're spending the night here.  
MISHIMA: Exactly!  
MISHIMA: I even picked one with a short guy and a tall guy. And the tall guy has glasses.  
ANN: yeah but the tall guy smokes and has a motorcycle. nothing like Akira  
MISHIMA: ...  
AKIRA: So then...  
MISHIMA: You DID read it...  
ANN: aaaaaaaargh D:<  
AKIRA: Ann should give us pointers for the next time you spend the night, Mishima.  
MISHIMA: Yeah, maybe we've been doing it wrong this whole time.  
ANN: fuck offfffff  
MISHIMA: Ann, you did say that you wanted to sit in the next time I spent the night at Akira's.  
MISHIMA: Why would you say that unless you wanted to critique our form?  
AKIRA: Lol  
AKIRA: Yeah, bring a clipboard, we'll analyze the data.  
ANN: I wasn't kidding tho  
ANN: BESIDES, you owe me, you guys  
ANN: Akira, I helped our friend here practice for the next time he sees you. how noble of me  
AKIRA: Oh, you did... that?  
MISHIMA: Again. Her idea, not mine.  
AKIRA: I'm sure you got absolutely nothing out of it, Ann.  
ANN: yup. p boring, watching him fuck my fingers  
MISHIMA: I really don't get why you'd want to do that to me though.  
ANN: Mishimaaaaaa  
ANN: god, I was joking  
ANN: it was fucking hot. you were making the best faces  
ANN: and v cute little noises. you were making me wet just to listen to you  
ANN: Akira, I got one more finger in than you did. you better be thinking of me when you're finally able to get it in  
AKIRA: LMAO  
AKIRA: No promises. I may be too preoccupied to be thinking of you, sorry.  
AKIRA: We'll be sure to send you a status report though.  
AKIRA: Speaking of which...  
AKIRA: Mishima, how was your first time?  
MISHIMA: Maybe you should ask Ann. I still came before her.  
ANN: I told you that's fine tho  
ANN: you just want to hear me sing your praises  
ANN: Akira, he did so, so good  
ANN: once we got the angle right he gave me everything I wanted  
ANN: and then he ATE ME OUT OMG  
AKIRA: After you barebacked?  
AKIRA: Whoa. You're hardcore, Mishima.  
MISHIMA: Why is that so bad?  
ANN: NOT bad  
ANN: more like... next level lol  
ANN: and then we had a shower and  
ANN: mmf  
AKIRA: And?  
AKIRA: I need details, people.  
MISHIMA: Um. I guess I was ready to go again?  
ANN: yesssss  
MISHIMA: This sounds weird but I like watching my cum leak out of Ann. >_>  
AKIRA: We've turned you into a deviant!  
AKIRA: Actually it's probably a good thing that you like seeing that because you're like, the world's #1 exporter of the stuff.  
AKIRA: Maybe you guys should just spend the entire time in the shower when you're there, Mishima. Would make cleanup easier.  
ANN: lol yeah  
ANN: anyway. you had nothing to be worried about Mishima. you did fab  
ANN: the "guy shouldn't come until the girl does" thing is dumb. don't spend the whole time inside me thinking of unsexy shit trying not to come, that's just stupid  
AKIRA: There, see? Nothing to worry about.  
MISHIMA: That is kind of a relief. :)  
MISHIMA: Oh, uh. I guess I'm not a virgin anymore, am I?  
AKIRA: You haven't been for a while!  
ANN: oh, what? really?  
AKIRA: Doesn't the other stuff we've been doing count?  
ANN: does it?  
MISHIMA: Well, whatever, I'm definitely not one now.  
AKIRA: Just one more thing we need to figure out now.  
MISHIMA: Yeah...  
MISHIMA: I'm having a hard time getting the angle right at home, I think. That's why I let Ann help me.  
ANN: went way better right?  
MISHIMA: Yeah... >_>  
MISHIMA: It actually went from feeling weird to good a lot faster this time.  
ANN: maybe I should teach Akira my fingering technique. I bet it's tough for a beginner like him to get it right  
AKIRA: WHAT  
AKIRA: You used to love it when I finger fucked you into the mattress.  
ANN: it was... okay  
AKIRA: You're shitting me. You can't pretend you didn't love it.  
ANN: yawn  
ANN: it had its moments, I suppose  
AKIRA: Shit, Ann.  
AKIRA: Well, what should I have done differently? Like, speed, or?  
MISHIMA: She's teasing you, geeze Akira. XD  
ANN: you're too easy  
AKIRA: ...  
MISHIMA: I think you broke his heart. He's very proud of his fingering technique.  
ANN: lmao  
ANN: yes, just teasing, don't worry bb  
ANN: he's proud of it?  
MISHIMA: Yes, he brings it up all the time lol.  
AKIRA: Shouldn't I be proud of my skills?  
ANN: yes yes you're v talented, for crying out loud  
ANN: I do think about it sometimes. fond memories. maybe we should give Mishima a show sometime  
MISHIMA: So you guys are serious about the three of us... ? Sometime?  
ANN: well. talk in the chat is different. we're just talking. it doesn't have to happen  
ANN: like, I'd like it to. I think it'd be amazing  
ANN: but if it means someone gets jealous and things get wrecked then it's not worth it  
AKIRA: Yeah, that's what I think too.  
AKIRA: We keep joking about it but I care more about everyone being happy with the way things are now.  
MISHIMA: I do like how things are going.  
MISHIMA: If you guys are talking about me specifically, I don't think I'd be jealous. Just to see you two I mean. If I could still see each of you the way we have been then I think it'd be a fun thing to try.  
ANN: we keep talking about it. maybe we should just go for it  
AKIRA: Hey hey hey.  
AKIRA: Mishima and I have a project to finish first.  
AKIRA: But after that I think a threeway would be fucking hot.  
ANN: well of course YOU do, that's like, the Man Dream lol  
AKIRA: Oh, come on. You think it's hot too.  
MISHIMA: Yeah Miss BL. Bet you'd get all  
MISHIMA: Get all wet to see me and Akira...  
AKIRA: Mishima, I think she'd like watching you give me head. You're really good at it.  
ANN: you boys are going to get me in trouble, my parents are home now lol  
MISHIMA: Guess you'd better lock your door and stay quiet then, huh?  
AKIRA: God, Ann's got such a big mouth on her. She couldn't stay quiet if her life depended on it.  
ANN: wat  
ANN: Mishima told me he LIKED the noises I make. so there  
AKIRA: Remember that time you nearly got us caught?  
ANN: lol yeah...  
MISHIMA: Oh no, by the owner of the cafe?  
AKIRA: Sojiro? Yeah. I was fingering Ann and he came back after closing because he forgot something.  
AKIRA: I heard the door open and told Ann to be quiet but she KEPT MOANING.  
ANN: I was coming! geeze!  
MISHIMA: ...uh, you said "nearly" caught?  
MISHIMA: Akira, you don't even have a door.  
MISHIMA: I think you definitely got caught. And the owner was just too nice to say anything.  
MISHIMA: Bet he left real quick, right?  
ANN: yes...  
AKIRA: Aw fuck.  
AKIRA: I did think it was weird that he gave me 10,000 yen the next day and told me to take Ann somewhere nice.  
ANN: oh my godddd  
AKIRA: It was right after exams! So I thought it was a reward for doing well.  
MISHIMA: It's almost like he WAS rewarding you for doing well.  
ANN: I can't believe I came back and showed my face the next time I came over like nothing had happened x_x  
ANN: anyway I gotta go, my parents wanna talk to me  
MISHIMA: Hope you washed that couch really good...  
AKIRA: Let's table this discussion until after Project Pound Mishima is complete.  
ANN: aaaaaaaa  
MISHIMA: -_-

\----------

  
"Nervous?"

  
Mishima nodded grimly against Akira's chest.

  
They were lying naked in Akira's bed the following weekend, Mishima desperately trying to get past his fears.

  
"Nervous about... it being gross?" Akira guessed.

  
Another nod.

  
"Well, we both read about what to do, right? So if it's still gross even after that, the washroom's downstairs."

  
"Yeah, but... "

  
"I'm not gonna see you any differently."

  
Mishima just lay still, his breath puffing against Akira's chest.

  
"Then are you still nervous abouuuut... it hurting?"

  
Another nod.

  
"Ann got you up to four. I'll get you up to four too before I try putting it in. If it hurts, we'll stop right away."

  
Mishima burrowed his face further out of sight and stayed silent.

  
"We don't have to. We can do more of what we were doing before. Or watch a movie."

  
He finally raised his face, a bit relieved; Akira took his chances and moved back just enough to crane his neck and kiss him.

  
Akira seemed to know how apprehensive he was feeling and dialled back the intensity he might have otherwise put into it. He let Mishima drive. Akira just kissed back gently and let him come around on his own.

  
Eventually Mishima forgot all about what they had been planning to do later and lost himself to sensation. He found himself laying on top of Akira, face tipped at a sharp angle to better drive his tongue in, and realized he was already hard. Akira seemed to have resolved to let him take his time and had become unusually passive, for him; he responded to Mishima's advances but didn't push. From his vantage point above him Mishima pulled back to check his face. Akira was breathing deeply, his face flushed; before Mishima could speak, Akira stretched to the side and was just barely able to reach the bottle of lube that he'd placed on the windowsill next to his bed.

  
He looked up at Mishima with a question in his eyes, and Mishima nodded.

  
Akira couldn't see what he was doing very well but managed to coat his index finger with lube. He brought his lips back to Mishima's and then, a few seconds later, reached behind him and began to tease at him without pushing his finger inside. Every time Mishima's kissing faltered, Akira stopped what he was doing until he continued. In time, Mishima stopped thinking. He kissed Akira hard while Akira slid his finger in.

  
It was more difficult to find the correct angle this time, since their positions were reversed, but Akira finally brushed against a spot that made Mishima ram his hips forward and moan into his mouth. This time Mishima had to break off the kiss to catch his breath.

  
"You okay? We don't have to - " Akira was cut off by Mishima covering his mouth with his again.

  
Mishima barely gave him a chance to break off long enough to look at his fingers each time, but eventually Akira was able to move up to two fingers, then three. Akira scissored them within him, trying to stretch him as best he could, until Mishima stopped him, panting.

  
"Think I. Think it's better if I'm on my back for this."

  
Akira reached up with his free hand and tugged on his spiky hair until Mishima had to close his eyes. He allowed a smirk to enter his voice. "Is that for the angle? Or is it because that's how you've been picturing it for the last few weeks?"

  
Mishima gave a short laugh, eyes still closed, and wouldn't answer, which was answer enough.

  
They got up quickly and Akira placed another t-shirt beneath his hips, then pulled a few condoms from the bottom of a box of his clothing. Mishima was starting to look anxious again, brows pulled together, and Akira tried to reassure him. "Don't worry. Just getting stuff together. I don't think you're ready yet."

  
He returned and knelt between Mishima's legs, carefully inserting three fingers again and thrusting until he had Mishima sighing again. _Now or never._ Akira lubed up his pinkie and added it to the others, trying to fold them as tightly as possible until all four were in. His hands were of course bigger than Ann's, and he watched Mishima's face closely for any sign of discomfort. There was a moment or two where his breathing hitched, where his sighs ceased, but it wasn't long before Akira could brush that spot inside with all four fingers stretching him, albeit shallowly; Mishima was moaning outright now, his cock hard and his hips lifting to meet Akira's fingers.

  
Akira leaned over Mishima and kissed him as he fingered him. "Still doing okay?"

  
Mishima nodded immediately, breathing hard. "Let's try it."

  
That was a better answer than Akira had been hoping for. He removed his fingers and wiped off his hand, then undressed quickly and rolled a condom on. Mishima could only stare at the ceiling and listen.

  
Akira was generous with the lube, warming it up as he slicked his cock up and down. He just hoped four had been enough. He raised himself on one hand, hovering over Mishima so he could see his face, and then slowly, slowly pressed in.

  
He paused as soon as he saw Mishima gritting his teeth. "Should I stop?"

  
Mishima's eyes were squeezed tight; he released a long shaky breath and shook his head. "Keep going. Maybe just - " Then he raised his head until Akira got what he meant and closed the distance, kissing him again as a distraction. He felt Mishima relax back down to the mattress as he did, and took that as his signal to continue.

  
Akira sank into him, agonizingly slowly, while trying to keep Mishima's mind occupied with his mouth. At last, Akira covered him with his body, still kissing him, with his cock buried all the way inside. He exhaled deeply through his nose, trying not to move.

  
Mishima turned his head to the side. "Ooof."

  
Akira searched his face but couldn't quite guess at what he was feeling. "How're you doing?"

  
Mishima closed his eyes. "Wasn't sure we'd ever... get you in." Then he smiled. "Let's give it a shot."

  
Akira made himself move cautiously. He tried a slow, deep thrust, almost all the way out before pressing all the way in again, and Mishima threw his head back, eyebrows twitching while his eyes remained closed. He kept it up, moving an inch or two at a time, until he felt Mishima's muscles relax slightly around him. Gaining confidence, Akira propped himself up on his knees and both hands, arching his back, and tried a quicker, shallower stroke until he could tell he was brushing that spot within him again; Mishima immediately became louder, moaning outright. Akira felt Mishima's legs wrap tightly around his waist, angling his hips up further, and Akira could only fall forward and bury his face into his shoulder.

  
"You feel _amazing,"_ he murmured into Mishima's ear, and as he spoke, Mishima's cock throbbed against his stomach.

  
Akira readjusted his position, planting his hand in the middle of Mishima's chest and pressing him down, until he had Mishima pinned to the mattress with most of his weight, just as he had their first night together. He gripped his hair until he tipped his head back, exposed and vulnerable. Then Akira angled one arm between them and stroked Mishima's cock.

  
Mishima immediately tipped his head back even further and uttered a breathy string of incoherence that took Akira a moment to piece together.      _" -ck ohfuck ohfuck fucckkkk..."_

  
Akira began to thrust in earnest.

  
He sped up until he was slamming into Mishima with a wet _slap_ on each stroke, hitting him in that spot each time. He let his thrusts become rougher, shorter, and Mishima became completely incomprehensible, just sobbing senselessly as Akira worked him with his right hand and flattened him into the mattress with his left shoulder. Akira drove his cock in, faster, harder, and let his mind go white.

  
Akira could feel his orgasm nearing and, still not really thinking, his hand sped up and stroked Mishima's cock between the two of them until he heard Mishima's voice break and then fall silent as he came, holding his breath and shuddering beneath him until Akira's hand was warm and sticky. Mishima's muscles squeezed him as he came and Akira was able to get two more deep thrusts in before he tipped over the edge himself, groaning way down in his chest as his cock pulsed inside Mishima.

  
It felt like a long time before they had each caught their breath, their bodies still pressed together. Mishima finally let his legs relax from where he'd left them wrapped around Akira's waist, and, struggling to gather his thoughts, Akira raised himself up on his elbows just enough to look him in the eye.

  
Mishima had tear tracks on his face.

  
"Shit, are you- " Akira pulled out immediately, abruptly enough for Mishima to gasp at the feeling of being left empty. He stripped the condom off and threw it away, then cleaned himself and Mishima off, his heart hammering all the while. _Did I hurt him? Is he -_

  
Mishima either hadn't heard him or was too distracted by physical sensation to formulate an answer. He lay splayed out on the bed, eyes shut and looking more defenseless than ever. As Akira peered down at him he sighed deeply and finally opened his eyes just a crack. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then started laughing breathlessly instead.

  
_What the hell... ?_ "Mishima, are you okay?"

  
He just nodded and, this time, looked down at himself to make sure that Akira had cleaned his skin before rolling onto his side to make room for him to lay down. Akira stretched out behind him and wrapped him in his arms. "Then why... ?"

  
"Oh - " Mishima realized what he meant and swiped both palms over his face. "Not crying. Just - " He cut himself off with another weird, breathy laugh.

  
Akira waited for him to catch his breath and finish laughing.

  
"Just... intense."

  
"You're... ?"

  
"Yeah. Just sore. But it's not bad." Mishima stirred, trying to look back at Akira's face. "I kind of... can't believe we did that. That _I_ did that."

  
"Didn't think it'd fit, didja?" Akira whispered in his ear in as dirty a tone as he could manage.

  
Mishima seemed to be beyond embarrassment in his exhausted state. "No, I guess I really didn't."

  
Akira laughed, delighted, as a new thought occurred to him. "Hey, guess what. Now you're like... double not-a-virgin."

  
"Yeah, I should get a, a membership card or something."

  
"Ann and I will have a trophy made in your honour."

  
Mishima laughed hard at that idea. "How am I going to explain that to my parents... ? A 'Congrats on the Sex' trophy?"

  
"Better not then. They'd just be jealous."

  
Mishima fell silent and Akira took to stroking his chest with the side of his thumb, not thinking much about anything. Until his mind wandered back to just how hard he'd been slamming into Mishima, and how he'd lost himself in the feeling of burying his cock deep inside. He'd been in no state to notice small details, and his stomach sank when he realized what he might have missed.

  
Akira took a deep breath. "So. Um. I pinned you again. I held you down and... " He buried his face into Mishima's hair, suddenly miserable. "Did I scare you? Again?"

  
In answer Mishima rolled over and smiled up at him. "But I told you I liked it when you did that. That first time."

  
Akira nodded.

  
"Isn't that why you did it again? This time?"

  
Akira said nothing.

  
"I liked it this time, too. So don't worry about it." They had cooled down considerably, and Mishima drew the covers over them again, but stayed in a sitting position so he could look down at him. "You, uh. You were right when you said that's how I've been picturing it until now." He turned his face away, but Akira could still see his ears beginning to redden.

  
Akira rolled on his side, facing away. Despite Mishima's assurances, his mind was racing. _I wasn't just rough, I was practically violent with him. He's only been imagining it that way because that's all I've ever been with him. I must've hurt him, or at least scared the hell out of him, or he wouldn't have been crying. I fucking made him cry during his first time with me, and he's actually trying to make ME feel better -_

  
He blinked hard to keep from crying himself and drew his knees up. Then a new thought occurred to him, and his blood froze in his veins.

  
_He told me last time that he doesn't like to be called pretty. Doesn't like to have his hips or his skin or his cock complimented. Who would have seen him naked? Who would have... ?_

  
_I just forced myself onto someone who survived Kamoshida._

  
His breathing must have given him away, or maybe Mishima just guessed at how he was feeling. Akira felt hands on first his back, then his shoulders as Mishima lay down again behind him. He felt his thumbs begin to work out the kinks in his shoulders, digging in gently and moving up to his neck.

  
Akira cleared his throat, trying not to reveal how he'd been feeling. "Are you... giving me a backrub?"

  
"Looks like it." Mishima just kept smoothing his thumbs up and down his muscles, moving down to the centre of his back now.

  
Akira wiped his eyes surreptitiously. "You know, I don't think I've ever had a real one."

  
"Only fake ones?"

  
"Ann and I used to try to trade backrubs when we had sore muscles from - " _Mementos_ " -stress," he finished lamely. "But we never really got too far before we'd get distracted."

  
Mishima laughed behind him, still working on his back. "Well, I've never given one. Just tell me if I'm doing it wrong."

  
"No, it feels pretty good." _Why am I just laying here and letting him do this like everything's okay?_ But he couldn't quite bring himself to say it.

  
"You going to tell me what's wrong?" Mishima had moved his hands to Akira's lower back.

  
Now he had no choice. "Oh. Guess I just," he blurted out, then tried again, staring hard at the empty room beyond his bed. "I. I wonder if that's really how you wanted your first time to be. With me. Or if you just think it should be that way because... that seems to be the only way I know how to be with you."

  
_Or maybe you just think it should be that way because it's like what that asshole already did to you in the past?_ Akira felt like a piece of shit for having thought it. But it didn't _stop_ him from having thought it.

  
Mishima's fingers were still, his palms warm on Akira's skin while he waited for him to finish.

  
Akira swallowed around a lump in his throat. "Part of me wants to hug and kiss you and... be gentle, with you, and part of me wants to just... ram into you, and slam you down, and be... like, after we got past a certain point, I wasn't. I wasn't really thinking of you at all, " he finished wretchedly. Shame crawled through him.

  
Mishima's hands left his back, and Akira felt hot breath tickle his ear. "But what if that _is_ what I want?"

  
"But I'm just gonna _hurt_ you, I - "

  
"You didn't, though."

  
"But you were cr- "

  
Mishima circled his arms around him as best he could. "Told you. Intense."

  
His vision was blurry with tears now. " ...I feel like I'm taking advantage of you." He let out a choked gasp of surprise when he felt Mishima's fist hit him in the bicep, hard.

  
"Are you serious right now?!" To Akira's shock, Mishima sounded absolutely furious. He was stunned into silence as Mishima continued, his voice getting louder and louder behind him. "If I didn't want what you were doing, do you really think I'd just lie there and take it? Was I fighting against you? Was I telling you to stop?"

  
"No, but - "

  
"And if you think you, like, _conditioned_ me to want it that way, like I'm secretly afraid of you or something, or if you think that I just take it from you like that because I feel like I have to... no. God, Akira. You're not listening to me."

  
Akira lay silent.

  
Mishima's voice rose, nearly shouting now. "Don't you think you're not giving me enough credit? It's been _months._ I know what I want now. I've been _telling_ you what I want. So stop trying to decide what's best for me and start. Start _listening_ to me." He panted, out of words.

  
Akira finally rolled over to look at him. Mishima was sitting upright again and actually shaking with anger, lips pressed in a thin line and still breathing heavily.

  
Akira couldn't look at him anymore and just took his hand, then closed his eyes. "I'm sorry."

  
He could hear Mishima shift position and try to get his breathing back under control. "It's okay. I'm sorry I hit you." He squeezed Akira's hand back.

  
Akira had the perverse impulse to laugh and buried it. _That's the last thing I'm worried about. Maybe I deserved it._ "I'm fine. You sure have bony knuckles though."

  
"Ugh. Whatever." But Mishima sounded less upset, and Akira risked looking at him again. Mishima lay on his side now, studying him face to face.

  
"So you really... I didn't hurt you?"

  
Mishima shook his head.

  
"You weren't feeling like I forced you?"

  
"Nope."

  
Akira let out a shuddering breath. "And... you like it that way? Because I feel like I just do what I want. Like I... let myself go and I'm not really thinking anymore."

  
Mishima gave him a smile, and Akira returned it, relief flooding him. "Maybe that's a compliment." He put on a pretend smug expression. "I'm so good in bed that Akira loses himself in a... in a fuck haze."

  
Akira let out a loud, ugly laugh at that and buried his face in Mishima's shoulder, crushing him to his chest in a tight embrace. "I did, though."

  
_Quit stalling. You have to ask him. Just get it over with._ There was no graceful way to bring it up, so Akira just took a deep breath and spoke into his skin, still squeezing him tight against his chest. "Mishima."

  
"Mm."

  
"I gotta. I gotta ask you about something."

  
"What is it?"

  
_What a nice thing to be talking about after your first time together._ Akira hated himself for it, but he needed to know. He kept his voice low, trying to sound as kind as he could. "Remember the last time I had you over? I called you pretty, and I said I liked your... hips, and you told me you didn't like it when I called you that? Said it reminded you of... someone else, who'd said that?"

  
Mishima had frozen against him as soon as he'd realized what Akira had brought up. He was holding his breath.

  
"Who... who was it?" Akira whispered.

  
Mishima was breathing again, shallow little pants against Akira's skin, but he stayed silent.

  
_Doesn't matter if he answers you or not, anyway. You know it was Kamoshida._

  
The lump was back in his throat. "What did he do to you?"

  
Mishima finally spoke again. He knew what he was getting at. "Not what you're thinking of." His voice was actually more even than Akira's.

  
He knew he was opening old wounds, but he had to know. "He... must have seen you naked, right? So he called you pretty, and... ?"

  
Akira nearly recoiled when he heard Mishima actually start to laugh against him. But it was bitter. "You saw my face, back in April. I got what the rest of the guys got." He lowered his voice until he became hard to hear. "Maybe a bit of what some of the girls got. Towards the end. But not... that."

  
Akira raised his hand and stroked Mishima's hair, feeling half relieved, half sick for him. "I'm sorry. I had to ask because... "

  
Mishima's voice was harsh, strangled - as if he had to choke the words out. Akira had never heard him like this. "Because you think I want you to do to me what _K-Kamoshida_ must've, right? You think I like you, like what you _do to me,_ because it reminds me of him?" He wrenched himself free of Akira's arms and sat up. "You think I _miss_ him?" he spat. He got up off of the bed.

  
"Hey - no - "

  
Mishima paced the attic, at first looking for his clothes but then just holding them in his arms as if he couldn't remember what he'd been doing.

  
"Mishima, I had to ask. You know why." He sat up and patted the bed next to him. "Come back."

  
Mishima turned back to face him but kept his eyes focused on the floor. "No, I don't know why. As far as I'm concerned we had a, had a _nice time."_ Akira watched his eyes blink faster as they filled with tears and had the privilege of knowing they were all his fault. Mishima's voice jagged up and down as he continued, his hands balled into fists around his bundle of clothing. "At least, I thought we did, but then you tell me you think I'm just so fucking _terrified_ of you that I can't, can't _fend_ you off." He was glaring at him openly now. "That I'm either too fucking stupid to know what I want after months of seeing you, or that I only like you because you remind me of the guy you think _raped_ me. _Wow."_

  
Akira touched his own face; his fingertips came away wet. His voice was hoarse. _"Do_ I remind you of him? _Did_ I, when I called you... that?"

  
It was like he'd flipped a switch. The anger drained from Mishima's face and he sank down onto the couch, hunched as if to protect himself. "Yeah. You did."

  
Akira wrenched his fingers through his hair and let out a shuddering breath. _Fuck_. Mishima looked even smaller than usual, his face a mask of misery. Akira couldn't stand to look at him anymore, and he couldn't wrap him in his arms like he wanted to, either; so he turned away and stared out the window, as if something out there could tell him what to do. What to say.

  
He felt the mattress dip down beside him. Then Mishima held his wrist until he'd turned to look at him. "I don't know why I said that... stuff. Sorry." He tried to give Akira a hug but he remained where he was, unresponsive.

  
"Were you ever going to tell me?"

  
Mishima turned his face away and put some distance between them. "You already knew about most of what happened anyway. You saw my face every day. So why bring it up?"

  
Akira swallowed thickly. "Guess I can see why you wouldn't want to talk about it." He lay down on his back, gazing up at the ceiling, so Mishima wouldn't have to feel like he was staring at him.

  
The mattress shifted again as Mishima lay next to him in the same position, a few inches away but taking care not to touch him. "It's over with. It doesn't matter anymore, you know? It's not something you have to - " Akira could see out of the corner of his eye that he was talking with his hands. " - like, worry about."

  
_How can he say that? How can he think what happened just... had no effect on him?_ But Akira kept his questions to himself. He just wanted the fight to be over.

  
He took Mishima's hand without looking and held it, not knowing what to say. They lay in silence for a long stretch of time, each lost in their own thoughts. Mishima finally stirred and plucked at the sheet and covers until Akira sat up too and let him pull them flat. "Sorry. Cold."

  
Akira noticed his arms were covered in goosebumps and, before he could think better of it, reached over and rubbed them up and down to warm him up. Mishima bowed his head and leaned against him, silent.

  
Akira lay on his side, lifting the covers as an invitation, until Mishima joined him. He pressed his back and thighs against him immediately, and Akira felt a little better. _He can stand to have me touch him, at least._ He wrapped him in his arms, then closed his eyes. Mishima sighed and relaxed against him.

  
After a few moments, Mishima spoke up, startling him; he'd thought he was falling asleep. "I really did have a, um. Nice time." He even laughed a little, but the difference between this and his bitter laughter from before was like night and day. "That sounds so stupid. I don't know how to describe it though. That felt so... " He laughed again and gave up trying to put words to it.

  
Akira was relieved enough to laugh too. "I liked it too. If that's what you mean."

  
Mishima nodded, then paused, thinking. When he spoke again his voice was gentle; there was no sign of resentment in his tone as he repeated what he'd said before. "You didn't hurt me. I'm not scared of you. You didn't make me do anything I didn't want to do."

  
Akira slumped against him, exhaling against his neck. "I'm glad. I just thought I'd made you cry while I was... Well. I guess I get it now."

  
Mishima nodded again. "And you said that after a certain point you stopped thinking, like, stopped thinking about me. Do you mean you were inconsiderate?"

  
Akira nodded against him.

  
"You weren't though. If you really weren't thinking about me you wouldn't have grabbed me. Made me come. Remember?"

  
"Sure, but - "

  
"You got me good and ready first. That took a while, to, um. Open me up. And you were kissing me to keep it from being uncomfortable for me. And you kept asking if I was okay."

  
Akira just listened.

  
"So if you were really so terrible, if you only cared about what _you_ wanted, if you were _forcing_ me... " He waited for Akira to fill in the blanks.

  
"I see what you're saying."

  
Mishima twisted against him, craning his neck enough to look him in the eye, eyebrows drawn down in an intense expression. "If I didn't like you. If I didn't like it when you... Then I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't keep coming back, if. If I was scared of you." He seemed to lose his nerve and rolled over the rest of the way so he could press his face to Akira's chest before he was able to continue, his voice a whisper now. "Guess I, um. Guess I like it rough."

  
Akira blinked as something else clicked into place. "Ohhh... "

  
"What?"

  
"So when I push you down, when I... does that _help?"_

  
"Kind of. I don't know why, but. I do like it."

  
"When you told me you liked it when I laid on top of you that first night, I thought it was just because you were freaked out about me looking at you."

  
Mishima inched further down the bed and buried his face into Akira's chest, mumbling. "I thought it was too. But now I don't really mind you looking at me. Not as much, anyway. So... " He swallowed and became nearly inaudible. "I think it's more that I like being held down."

  
Akira inhaled deeply, stretched his legs out, then exhaled into Mishima's hair until it fluttered. He finally felt like he was back on solid ground. "Well. Aren't _we_ a match made in heaven." They laughed together, and things felt a bit better.

  
Akira raised his hand from Mishima's back and began ruffling his hair, first one way, then the other. They lay in comfortable silence for a while, but then Akira pulled back enough to give him a calculating look. "Heh. Wonder if there's anything _else_ you like."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;_;


	12. Commemorative memorabilia. Ambush. "I think this was a bad idea after all."

Akira and Mishima tapped into their phones after Mishima had gone home the next day, Akira stretched out on his back on his bed and Mishima seated at his desk in his room. Mishima had started a private chat between just the two of them.

  
MISHIMA: I'm sorry I blew up at you yesterday.  
AKIRA: Don't be.  
AKIRA: I'm sorry I said something that reminded you of old shit. I'll be more careful.  
AKIRA: Is this something you want to talk about?  
AKIRA: Because I'll listen.  
MISHIMA: Think we did enough of that yesterday.  
MISHIMA: Maybe another time though. Thanks.  
AKIRA: Ann's messaging me.  
AKIRA: Is this... something she should know?  
AKIRA: Like, do you want her to know?  
MISHIMA: No. Please don't tell her.  
AKIRA: You said she called you... that, too, though.  
AKIRA: Pretty. Sorry.  
AKIRA: I just mean that she might keep saying that to you if you don't tell her why it bothers you.  
MISHIMA: Maybe I'll get used to it?  
MISHIMA: Actually, when she called me that it didn't really bug me as much for some reason.  
MISHIMA: I dunno. I get why you'd say I should but I really don't want to tell her. Please don't.  
AKIRA: I won't if you don't want me to. Promise.  
MISHIMA: Thanks.  
MISHIMA: It's not even just that I don't want to talk about it right now. It's because some of it has to do with her friend Suzui. I don't know how to tell her yet, or if she'd want to know anyway.  
AKIRA: Fair enough.  
AKIRA: Should I add her to our chat?  
MISHIMA: Yeah, do it. I'm so sick of talking about this old garbage, you know? It's over with.  
AKIRA: Got it.

  
Akira added Ann to their chat.

  
ANN: so what did my boys do this weekend  
AKIRA: Wouldn't YOU like to know.  
MISHIMA: Before we talk about that... Ann, did I get you into trouble? >_>

  
Akira laughed a little to himself, trying not to disturb Morgana next to him. Maybe Ann would help lighten Mishima's mood.

  
MISHIMA: In the last chat, you said your parents wanted to talk to you.  
ANN: lol  
ANN: already told you, I cleaned up the couch thoroughly  
ANN: and I always hide the beer cans. don't worry  
ANN: they just wanted to catch up, they weren't home for over a month  
ANN: speaking of. now they're home for a while again  
ANN: so, Mishima, we might be outta luck unless your house is suitable  
MISHIMA: Wish it were. My parents are home every night and every weekend.  
MISHIMA: You coming by wouldn't go over too well, let's just say.  
AKIRA: Wellll...  
AKIRA: Since Project Pound Mishima was such a huge success...  
MISHIMA: -_-  
AKIRA: Maybe it's time for a team meetup at Leblanc.  
ANN: we're a TEAM now? lmao  
MISHIMA: I want a member's jacket.  
ANN: oooh. we should commission Yusuke to draw us a logo  
ANN: and put it on team mugs or smth  
MISHIMA: Yeah!  
MISHIMA: I'm kinda scared to think of what such a logo would look like though.  
ANN: Yusuke'd be down for drawing whatever tho lol  
AKIRA: You, uh, have no idea.  
AKIRA: Ann, I'd tell you to flip through his sketchbook sometime, but he'd probably think you want to be his model again.  
AKIRA: Anyway! Off topic!  
AKIRA: What do you guys think?  
MISHIMA: I want a threesome mug.  
MISHIMA: Less obvious than a sex trophy.  
ANN: good thinking  
ANN: let's keep it tasteful

  
Akira sent an emoji of a cartoon cat bawling enormous tears.

  
ANN: fiiiiine  
MISHIMA: Lol. Sorry Akira.  
AKIRA: I feel like I should be banging a gavel here or something.  
AKIRA: So. Thoughts?  
ANN: I like the idea. you know that  
ANN: I, uh. wonder if it would work if we came by like way after hours tho. after Mishima brought up that Sojiro def caught us that time, it feels like he's known all along. I feel weird looking him in the eye now  
AKIRA: He's classy though. He wouldn't have given me cash and told me to take you somewhere nice if he thought less of you.  
MISHIMA: I don't know how you could have thought he didn't know. Ann, didn't you keep staying the night after closing? He must have known you were Akira's girlfriend.  
MISHIMA: Or, whatever.  
ANN: yeah, I think we were dumb Akira x_x I stayed overnight p often  
AKIRA: I get how you feel, but he's done a lot for me when he didn't have to. I, uh, don't want to tell him exactly why I'm having you guys spend the night, but I also don't think he'd want me to let you in after closing behind his back.  
ANN: guess you're right. he's always been nice to me  
MISHIMA: I doubt he'll think we're up to something if it's all three of us though. Right? The three of us together wouldn't read as a couple or whatever.  
ANN: but we ARE up to smth  
ANN: like, even if he doesn't guess at what we're coming over for, he'll think we're going to have a party or whatev  
MISHIMA: Mm. I guess I didn't think of that.  
MISHIMA: We went over there to study a lot after school just before exams... what if we brought all of our books and told him we were going to get more studying in before staying the night?  
ANN: oooh!  
ANN: that's an idea  
AKIRA: I feel kinda bad making up a cover story, but. Maybe that's the best plan.  
ANN: oh waaaaait  
ANN: uh  
ANN: you have one small couch and one small bed  
MISHIMA: Oh, right. >_>  
AKIRA: Mishima and I have managed to both fall asleep in the bed before. Ann, you and I used to. One of us will just have to be lonely on the couch.  
MISHIMA: No, the cover story, remember?  
AKIRA: ?  
ANN: god Akira  
ANN: is Sojiro supposed to think that you're going to fall asleep cuddling your "girlfriend" or your "boyfriend"? after we're done studying?  
ANN: because he'll assume one or the other  
AKIRA: Oh.  
AKIRA: Well shit.  
MISHIMA: Aha!  
MISHIMA: I have a sleeping bag from a school trip. Tell him I'm going to take the floor if he asks.  
AKIRA: Nice. I think it'll work then.  
MISHIMA: Is your cat going to be home? I never got to see him after that one time.  
MISHIMA: He's pretty well travelled for a cat, actually.  
AKIRA: Mm. Dunno. I'll check, but I think he's scheduled for someone else's house this weekend. Sorry.  
AKIRA: See if he'll let you pet him at school, maybe?  
ANN: even if Morgana were there, I bet we'd be too busy to spend much time with him anyway ;)

\----------

  
By the time Saturday evening rolled around, Mishima was a wreck. He met Ann at the Yongen station and it must have shown on his face, because she immediately slung her arm around his neck and kissed his temple.

  
"Chill!"

  
"Yeah, I guess." She let him go and they climbed the stairs out of the station.

  
"We're not even gonna do anything new, right? We've gotten all that out of the way already. Now we're just gonna do what me and you do in a different place."

  
He hefted his sleeping bag and tried to smile. "Sure." _Yeah, I'm just gonna have sex with you and Akira in one place at one time. Simultaneously. Right. What could go wrong?_ When Ann turned away again, he let himself grimace, remembering the last time he'd been in Akira's room. Even though they'd made up, even though they could talk normally at school again, he couldn't help but think of what he'd finally had to admit to Akira. His stomach sank as his thoughts returned to what had been running through his mind ever since.

  
_Maybe he was right. Maybe I really do only like it that way because..._

  
His thoughts were cut short; they'd reached Leblanc. They opened the door and immediately spread out their textbooks and papers to secure their cover story. Mishima let Ann do all the talking; he could hear her detailing their plans to study late into the night and sleep on Akira's couch and floor to Sojiro. He stared at the text on the page while Ann over-explained and drove the point into the ground. When she started all over again he couldn't stand it any longer and approached the counter. Sojiro neatly interrupted Ann by giving Mishima the same attentive nod he'd give any customer and asked for his order.

  
He was able to control his expression and voice reasonably well, he thought; he ordered three coffees and stared at the TV while he waited, not actually comprehending anything on the screen until they arrived. Sojiro caught his eye and gave him a knowing smile before insisting they were on the house, as he always did, then turned back to the kitchen. _What did that mean? Did that mean anything... ?_

  
Akira finally joined them downstairs after Ann sent him a chat message to let him know they'd arrived. He settled in next to Mishima and, out of sight of the rest of the cafe, squeezed his hand briefly before opening his own schoolbooks. He kept his voice low. "You okay?"

  
"I'll be fine," Mishima mumbled, then raised his voice. "Math first, you guys?"

  
They were so focused on maintaining their cover that they actually did start to make real headway; they finished their coffee and chugged along through a sheet of practice equations until Sojiro got their attention. "I'm heading home, guys." He put on his jacket and addressed Akira. "Lock up. And clean up after, okay?" There was a split second where Mishima could have sworn Sojiro flashed Akira a smirk.

  
Mishima kept his face blank as the door closed after him. _Did THAT mean anything?_

  
They each remained as still as statues until Sojiro must have been halfway down the street, then let out their breath all at once and collapsed onto the table.

  
Mishima's face was hidden, covered by both his hands. "He _knows,_ how could you guys not have seen that?!"

  
Akira tried to keep up his usual composed facade, but his voice was the slightest bit unsteady. "Uh. Maybe he does."

  
Ann was hunched over, face down and arms stretched out across the entire table. "Ugggggh... "

  
Akira's voice brightened. "Maybe he just thinks we're going to get drunk?"

  
Ann was incredulous. "Why is that better?!"

  
But Mishima liked that idea a lot more. "That _would_ be better though."

  
Checking the sightlines from the glass door, Akira slowly slid his hand into his bag and flashed them a glimpse of a bottle. "Wouldn't even be a  lie... "

  
Ann's voice went painfully high. _"Where did you get whiskey?!"_

  
Akira just looked smug.

  
Mishima took it from him and inspected it, keeping his hands under the table just in case someone walking by outside could see through the glass door. Definitely whiskey. "No, seriously, how'd you get someone to sell to you?"

  
Ann still sounded freaked out. "Don't tell me you got that yakuza guy to... ?"

  
Mishima recoiled from Akira as if burned. "Are you serious... ?!"

  
Akira cleared his throat, smugness gone. Clearly these were not the reactions he'd been hoping for. "Iwai's cool. Don't worry about it."

  
They remained unconvinced.

  
"He _gave_ it to me. I told him I couldn't come work for him this weekend and he asked if I had a 'hot date'. I, uh, told him I might be having a girl over and I guess he thought I looked nervous about it... ?"

  
Mishima goggled at him. "Are _you_ yakuza?"

  
Ann giggled. "See any tatts the last time you were up there?" She glanced upwards toward the attic.

  
"Well, _no,_ but - "

  
Akira clued him in. "Iwai's the owner of the airsoft shop over on Central. He's not as scary as he looks."

  
Mishima was only slightly relieved. "So he's not gonna want something from you in return... ?"

  
Akira laughed. "He owes _me,_ if anything. He just made me promise not to tell his kid that he'd given me alcohol." Now that the cafe was empty, he wrapped an arm around Mishima's shoulders and started playing with his hair. "Hey, it's not a big deal if you don't want any. Whiskey's supposed to be harsh. I think."

  
Ann nodded at Mishima. "Yeah, and by now, maybe we don't need any help relaxing. Right?"

  
Mishima had let himself lean against Akira's shoulder, his eyes closed as Akira ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, maybe."

  
He was starting to zone out when he suddenly felt something touch first his thigh, then his crotch. He jerked upright and glared at Akira.

  
Akira looked genuinely surprised. "What?"

  
Mishima opened his mouth to reply but the pressure on his lap returned. He looked just in time to see Ann return her stockinged foot to her own side of the table. "It was you!"

  
She just stuck her tongue out.

  
Akira got up, locked the door and flipped the cafe's sign to closed, but not before messing with Ann's hair on his way by. "Hey. Not in the cafe." He came back and took their empty cups. "Why don't I make us some more while you guys head upstairs?"

  
Mishima headed up to the attic while Ann fussed over her hair in the washroom downstairs. He had bent over to unroll his sleeping bag when he felt two hands grab his ass. If he couldn't have guessed already, Ann's laugh told him it was her before he turned around.

  
"Got big plans for you, _buddy."_

  
"Hey. Akira got your hair this time, not me. Why do I get the 'buddy' treatment?"

  
She didn't answer, taking his hand and leading him to sit down on Akira's couch. Instead of sitting next to him, she straddled his lap and began kissing him.

  
_Man, she's really into it._ She pressed her mouth to his fiercely until he parted his lips to let her tongue in; he had no choice but to tip his head back and rest it on the back of the couch, struggling just to keep up.

  
It wasn't long before she began to press her thigh, the part left bare between the top of her thigh high stockings and the bottom hem of her skirt, against the tent in his pants, feeling him out. Still kissing him, she snaked a hand between them and unzipped him.

  
He broke off. "Whoa - "

  
She had a conniving look in her eye, though he couldn't figure out why. Maybe she was just gloating over getting the drop on Akira. "Just making you more comfortable. You're gonna pop your zipper."

  
Things were moving quickly enough that he felt slow and stupid in comparison, knowing only that he wanted to go back to kissing her. He looked down and realized that he was harder than he thought, just like she'd said, so he let her tug him out and away from his clothing so the zipper wouldn't catch his skin. Before she was done adjusting his pants he took her mouth again, letting his hands travel downward until he was gripping her ass through her skirt. He felt her move her knees a little, shifting her chest against him, and then -

  
He whipped his head to the side and gasped. _"Ann - "_

  
Her pussy, already wet, took in the head of his cock.

  
She held his eye and sank into his lap, inch by inch, until he was fully inside. He couldn't put a sentence together, so she began to move. She lazily rolled her hips and rode him slowly until he closed his eyes again and put his hands back on her ass, this time under her skirt.

  
It was a struggle, but he managed to get some words out. "Did you. Did you get on the train like this?!"

  
She laughed in his ear, loving his reaction. "Took them off in the washroom downstairs. Got myself ready too." She began to tease him. She lifted her hips up until his cock was almost entirely free, with just the tip still inside her; then she kept him there, motionless, until he opened his eyes, his expression begging her to move. When she finally did, she'd drive her hips down to his over and over and take all of him inside herself at once until she had him gasping, only to suddenly back off and repeat the process all over again.

  
"Ann. Be nice."

  
Akira had been watching them.

  
At the sound of his voice, Mishima jolted and leaned far to the side, craning his neck to see around Ann. He had thought that Akira might be annoyed at her for starting without him; on the contrary, while Ann had Mishima distracted, Akira had quietly come back upstairs and placed one of the wooden chairs only a few feet behind them. He sat slouched far down for the best angle, and Mishima realized he must have been able to see right up Ann's skirt. Akira's legs were spread wide; when he caught on that Mishima was looking at him, he slowly, deliberately stroked his fingertips along his left thigh.

  
_Uh, that's not his leg -_

  
Akira's proportions were too generous, and his uniform pants too tight, to allow for any real tenting. Instead his length lay trapped against his leg, and as Mishima's eyes widened, Akira brushed it lightly without ever taking his eyes off of them.

  
Ann had stopped and seemed to be enjoying watching his expression change as he looked at Akira. She squeezed the head of his cock without moving to get his attention, then drew close once he was looking at her again. "Wanna give him a show?" she whispered. Instead of answering, he put his hands back on her ass, this time to flip up her skirt and hold it there to give Akira a better view. She laughed in his ear, low and husky, and started to move again.

  
Whether it was because she knew they were being watched now, or because she felt that she had teased him enough, she rode Mishima hard without any further interruptions. She picked up a fast rhythm, a rocking motion that plunged his cock deep just before she snapped her hips forward again. Mishima tried to contribute but she took over and he decided to let her; he just sprawled back against the couch, breathing hard, and watched her face above him as she worked him inside her to her heart's content.

  
There was a second of silence between one of his exhales and one of her moans, just long enough for Mishima to hear the sound of a zipper.

  
Judging from the way Ann's eyes immediately cut to his, she must have heard it too. She gave him a devilish grin and picked up the pace even more until she was outright bouncing in his lap, grinding down on his cock until he couldn't take it anymore. He let his fingers sink into her flesh and she leaned close again to urge him on, chanting into his ear. _"Yes, come_ in me, fill me up, come on - " She had to slow her rhythm to reach his ear, and he finally let his hips slam up into her while he pulled her down and held her there, driving his cock home over and over until he began to throb inside her. Her entire body shivered around him and she groaned deep as he filled her, pulse after pulse.

  
When he finally collapsed back against the couch again and released her, she was staring down at him. Still holding his eye, she slowly raised her hips until she'd let him go; when he glanced down, he was an absolute mess. Even as he watched, she hovered over his lap and let his cum drool out of her and patter back down onto his sticky cock. She threw back her head and laughed, sounding immensely pleased, which of course just made it come out faster.

  
"Hey - hey, Ann, you're gonna - " He put his hand between them, trying to catch it before she could drip on his pants.

  
She made another deep, satisfied noise in her throat but got up off of him, then turned to check on Akira. "Did you like the show?"

  
Mishima could see around her now. Akira had slouched even further down in his chair and looked helpless, somehow; his eyes were heavy-lidded behind his glasses and instead of looking at Ann's face, his eyes were trained on her legs. Mishima tried to see what he was looking at and was able to catch a glimpse of even more of his cum glazing both her thighs, trickling downward toward her stockings. When he looked back at Akira, he had circled his cock with his thumb and fingers and was slowly sliding his palm up and down his length, avoiding the head. He was breathing hard now and didn't speak.

  
Ann turned back to Mishima and put a hand on his shoulder to steady herself, then leaned close. "You mind if we... ?"

  
He shook his head, then stood and kissed her briefly, feeling shaky but satisfied. Without putting words to it, all three began to undress properly; Mishima cleaned himself up but when he offered tissues to Ann, she just shook her head and shimmied out of her skirt. Her stockings were already sticky at the tops and she left them on, otherwise naked. Mishima seated himself on the bed, naked himself and forgotten.

  
Akira wrapped Ann in his arms, stooping down to kiss her for only a few seconds before he scooped her up and dropped her unceremoniously back on the couch. She immediately crouched on all fours; the couch was narrow enough that she could only place one knee there, so she stretched out her other leg and planted her foot on the floor. Akira did the same behind her and, too suddenly for Mishima to follow, he was already thrusting into her, so roughly that Mishima found himself wincing. _Doesn't that hurt... ?_

  
But Ann wasn't complaining. She arched her hips into him, her face pressed into the seat of the couch, and cried out directly into the fabric. Mishima's angle was good enough that he could watch Akira's cock pump in and out, coated with secondhand cum as even more dripped down onto the couch below. _Whoa. They're really..._

  
Mishima leaned back and propped himself up on the covers, trying to watch everything at once. At first he felt embarrassed, like he shouldn't be watching something so intimate; but it was too intriguing to see both Ann and Akira from a fresh angle, as if he could learn something new that he wouldn't have known otherwise. But as he watched Ann's fingernails dig into the fabric, as Akira leaned down close to whisper something dirty in her ear, doubt wormed its way into his thoughts.

  
_Bet she doesn't look like that with me._

  
While Akira was propped up on his hands above Ann he suddenly brought his face to her neck and bit her, hard.

  
_Shit, Akira - !_

  
Ann screamed into the couch, but not in pain. If anything, she angled her hips up to him even more, trying to let him in even deeper as he pounded into her.

  
_She LIKES that... ?_

  
Mishima suddenly lost his taste for it. He rolled over and faced the wall, but couldn't shut out their noises. Ann was loudest, breathless and shrill, but he could still pick out Akira's voice below hers, ragged gasps tearing from his throat between the occasional choked grunt as he thrusted.

  
_Why am I even here._

  
He curled up into himself, feeling the familiar self-loathing creep back into his belly. _What do they need me for? I've just been holding them back the last few months. I should just tell them it's over so they can -_

  
The noises stopped.

  
A few seconds later, he felt a hand gently roll him over until he was staring up at the ceiling. Akira's face, red but concerned, peered down at him; Ann was a step behind him, trying to see around Akira.

  
As soon as Mishima's expression was revealed, Akira's was nothing but sympathy. "Aw, hey. Hey, c'mere - " He lowered himself onto Mishima and embraced him with his whole body. Mishima was too wrapped up in his thoughts to notice or care that Akira was still hard and just let himself be hugged. Ann was busying herself with something in the background, out of sight.

  
Akira kissed him, gently enough despite the state he was in, and let his head drop back down over Mishima's shoulder. "Feeling left out?"

  
Mishima couldn't answer right away.

  
Akira tried again, softer. "D'you feel... like we don't want you here?"

  
He nodded at that, trying to get his thoughts in order enough to speak.

  
Akira just gripped him tighter, pressing him down. "Aw. Mishima." But he was unable to elaborate, his mind still fuzzy from what he'd been doing a moment before.

  
Mishima could just barely see Ann step closer beside the bed and watched her place her hand on Akira's shoulder. He seemed to understand and levered himself up off of Mishima.

  
She sat on the bed next to him, cleaned up and fully dressed again except for her sticky stockings, and took his hand. When Akira had hugged him, his cock had left a smear of their combined fluids on Mishima's belly, and she wiped it off with a tissue before laying next to him and drawing the covers over the two of them. She maneuvered them both until she had him wrapped in her arms, forehead to forehead, and stared him down. "Hey."

  
He couldn't speak. He closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see her looking at him.

  
"I'm sorry." She was whispering.

  
_Why be sorry?_ He stayed quiet.

  
"I think this was a bad idea after all."

  
He opened his eyes briefly, then shut them tight again, unwilling to see her expression. "You guys should drop me. Go back to the way you were before."

  
He heard her sniffle and risked another glance. She was crying. "I don't want that. And I don't think he wants that either. I want to be with you."

  
He couldn't stand it any longer; he curled against her and buried his face into the front of her blouse so she couldn't look at him. "What do you need me for when Akira's here?"

  
She let out a frustrated groan but tried to temper it by squeezing him tighter against her. Her voice was forceful but jumped high and low. "Jesus, Mishima, I like _you._ Not just what your, your _dick_ can do for me." She knew he shied away from vulgar talk but plowed ahead anyway. "If I just wanted _that_ I'd go buy, like, a fucking dildo or something. They make them bigger than you and bigger than him, too, so don't get it into your head that it's some stupid contest."

  
Just as she'd predicted, her words made him flinch against her. "If it's not about... that, then what is it?"

  
"There _is_ no... 'it'. I'm attracted to you and I'm attracted to him. I like you both. I like different _things_ about you both. I don't like him more. And I don't want to be with him if it means I can't be with you." She scrubbed at her eyes, smearing her makeup. "Him and me made a mistake. This was supposed to just be fun but we... we hurt you. That's not what we wanted."

  
He felt the bed settle above his head; Akira was seated out of sight at the top of the bed. He reached over and started stroking Mishima's bare shoulders, though he remained silent.

  
Mishima swallowed around the lump in his throat, trying to get his voice to cooperate. "But you were so... "

  
"Just now, you mean?"

  
He nodded.

  
"I mean, yeah. That was really... fun. I'm not gonna pretend it wasn't. But I wouldn't have done that with him if I had thought it would make you upset."

  
He stayed silent.

  
"Mishima, I jumped you _first,_ remember?"

  
"Maybe you just wanted me as... a warmup."

  
"Mishima... When we came here tonight I was planning on having sex with both of you. In some way, anyway. Would you be less upset if it had been Akira first, then you?"

  
" ...I guess not."

  
"I told you before. You both treat me very differently. You're different _people._ You're not interchangeable." Her voice softened. "You're not my second choice. Remember?"

  
He nodded against her shirt, mute.

  
"You do a lot of things that Akira would never do. Can't do or won't do. He - " The mattress shifted again as she looked up and exchanged a look with Akira, still sitting on the corner of the bed above them. There was another minute shift as he gave her a nod of permission, or perhaps one of understanding, though Mishima couldn't see it. "He's _rough_. Sometimes I want that, sometimes I don't. I liked it from him today, but I don't want that from you. You're really... you're really gentle with me, and I like that about you."

  
Part of him tucked that away for later consideration - the idea that, when it came to Akira, at least, he and Ann might have more in common than he'd realized. He stayed still, listening.

  
She squeezed her arms around him again, then inserted her bare thigh between his. "I like, um. Roughhousing with you, or whatever you call it. Teasing you. You're cute when you're mad." She let out a shaky laugh above his head. "Can't tease Akira at _all._ He can't take it. He's more sensitive than you'd think. And if I tried, like, starting shit with him like I do with you, get him to chase me or whatever, I think he'd accidentally flatten me. Big brute." Mishima heard what might have been a low laugh from the corner of the bed above the two of them.

  
She took a deep, watery breath, then sighed and tipped his head back with the heel of her hand on his forehead, trying to see how he was taking it. Maybe his face revealed that he had calmed down a little, because she continued, leaning close again. "I really liked... watching you. Last time." He closed his eyes again in embarrassment, but kept his face where she could see it. "It says a lot that you would trust me to do that to you. With you. Your face was so... " She didn't have the words so she just kissed him. "I've never done anything like that with him. It made me feel... it made me feel really close to you."

  
He angled his face up to hers and kissed her back.

  
She kissed him slowly, without urgency. He could hear her even breathing and Akira's as well, somewhere near his head. He took his time, kissing her back thoroughly, and, eventually, something unclenched in his chest.

  
He finally spoke. "I'm sorry I wrecked things. I don't know why I was so upset."

  
"You didn't. And it's probably normal to be... upset. We're kinda. Not doing what most people do? I think?" She looked up towards the ceiling, considering. "Or maybe it's one of those things that some people do and they just keep it to themselves, so you don't hear about it."

  
Akira finally stirred above their heads and stretched out on his side at the top of the bed until he could look Mishima in the eye, even if they were upside down to each other. "Ann said it better than I could. But it's the same for me." He took a handful of Mishima's hair and tugged it gently. "If I wanted to be with Ann then I would just. Do that. _We_ would just do that, if that's what we wanted. But I want... you."

  
Mishima let his eyes close, but this time it was because of what Akira was doing to his hair, not because he wanted to hide. "I think I get it now. I just. Just felt really unnecessary. When I saw you two together."

  
Akira tugged harder in a different place until Mishima arched his back a little, then relaxed. "We gave this a shot but Ann and I can just go back to, like. Seeing you one on one. I mean, it was hot watching you guys together. But you didn't feel the same way about seeing me and Ann. So it's not worth it." He watched Mishima's ears redden as he played with his hair. "You guys hungry?"

  
As soon as he mentioned it, Mishima realized how desperately he wanted to put some space between himself and Akira's bedroom, and nodded quickly. Akira must have put his clothes on while Mishima had been speaking to Ann because he soon found he was the only one still naked, so he sat up and got dressed. As soon as he'd pulled his shirt down, Akira sidled up to him and slung an arm around him, then leaned down to mumble against his neck. "Are we, um. Are we okay?"

  
Mishima turned to face him properly and smiled. "Only if you show me how to make curry."


	13. "Doesn't that hurt?" Payback time. A close friend.

Mishima realized the kitchen was far too small for him to help with dinner in any real way, so he settled for sitting at the counter and peering past Akira, trying to catch everything he was preparing to add into the curry and needling him with questions. "Honey? Seriously?"

  
"If you're really interested, Sojiro would be happy to tell you all about it."

  
"Oh, uh. Maybe it's better if I fly under the radar around him. I've been trying to, anyway."

  
"He's not scary. Really."

  
"You said that about a member of the yakuza earlier today, so. Not sure I believe you."

  
Akira had to laugh at that. Then he turned from the stovetop to look at Mishima. "Is Ann in the washroom?"

  
"Nope. Upstairs still."

  
Ann was already halfway down the stairs as he spoke. "Here I am, here I ammmm - " she singsonged.

  
Akira frowned at her, then returned to chopping vegetables. "You'd better not have been messing with my stuffed animals."

  
Ann rolled her eyes at the back of his head. "Your stuffed animals are _so_ not cute, Akira. No way I want those manky things."

  
He set the knife down on the cutting board, then knelt on the floor and withdrew a first aid kit from the bottom shelf next to the stove. He set it down on the counter where Ann had sat next to Mishima.

  
"Geeze, did you cut yourself?" Mishima asked him.

  
Akira opened his mouth to answer and Ann cut him off, leaning over to Mishima. "Incoming Nerd Fact... " she muttered from behind her hand.

  
But Akira would not be deterred. He held up his index finger, trying to look like a professor. His glasses helped. "'The mouth is the dirtiest part of the human body.'"

  
"Uh. Did you cut your mouth, then... ?"

  
But Ann was rolling her eyes again and yanking the neck of her blouse wide so Akira could disinfect where he'd bitten her earlier. "He does this first aid routine every time, Mishima. I've learned not to argue."

  
Mishima caught a glimpse before she straightened her shirt. Akira had bitten her where her neck met her shoulder. The mark was a dark, angry red; there were two tiny pinpricks of blood where Akira's teeth had actually broken the skin. Mishima leaned close and touched his knee to hers under the countertop. "Doesn't that hurt?"

  
"I dunno. Does it hurt when Akira's rough with you?" She arched an eyebrow at him and looked smug.

  
"No. Kind of? Not in a bad way." He bumped against her knee with his. "So he told you about what I like, huh."

  
She held up her chin in her hand, elbow resting on the countertop while she grinned at him. "Little bit. Told me somebody likes to be held down, for example."

  
"Yeah, but that doesn't _hurt._ I thought you were asking me about... you know."

  
She took pity on him and didn't make him elaborate. "Yeah, it hurts. But it's good at the same time. Just feels like a bruise now. Not bad at all."

  
He bumped her knee again, then did a double take when he saw her leg. "Are you wearing - ?" He started to laugh. "Akira - "

  
Akira had had his back to them while he finished the curry, listening to their conversation but not wanting to interrupt them. "What?"

  
"Akira, she really _does - "_

  
"Mishima!" She tried to interrupt him.

  
"Remember when I asked in the chat if she wore men's underwear?"

  
She put her face in her hands. "Mishimaaaa... "

  
Akira had guessed by now, but he came around the counter to confirm. Ann's skirt pulled up enough when she sat down that an inch or two of dark grey boxers showed below its hem. "Geeze, you could _ask_ first before you just take my clothes - "

  
Ann was uncharacteristically flustered by all the attention. "W-well, it's not like I had a choice! It's really _his_ fault." She squinted dramatically and gave Mishima a death glare.

  
_"Me?!"_

  
"Yeah, you!" She lowered her voice. "I got dressed after, after we realized you were upset. Put my panties back on and laid next to you in the bed." She started to glare again. "But you and your _excessive supply_ obliterated them. It's been leaking out of me this whole time. Remember that t-shirt we used to clean the couch with at my place? That's what my underwear looks like now."

  
While she spoke Mishima felt his face get warmer and warmer until he couldn't look her in the eye anymore and just dropped his face down to his folded arms, laughing harder. "It's not... It's not my fault if you don't, if you don't keep it where I put it... "

  
Akira had been plating up their curry and rice and set it down in front of them. _"Yeah,_ Ann. Pretty rude to turn down... " Now his shoulders were shaking too. "Turn down a _gift... "_

  
Ann was too miffed by their teasing to come up with a response, so she settled for shoveling curry into her mouth in silence, her face stony.

  
Akira and Mishima exchanged a look _\- Oops -_ and Mishima swiped his palm across her shoulders, as if to take back the teasing. Akira smiled at her. "It's fine. Just give 'em back later. _After_ you wash them."

  
"Akira. My parents are home now. If they notice... How am I going to explain fucking, fucking _jizzy men's underwear_ mixed in with my laundry?" She sounded as though she was still fuming at them, but Mishima could see her expression and knew better.

  
Akira had turned back to the stove and couldn't see her face, however. "Okay, okay. Keep them then." He sounded genuinely apologetic. "Sorry, Ann."

  
"Ann, we'll add your underwear to the, uh. The list of casualties."

  
The corners of her mouth were twitching. "Yeah, how come it's never _your_ stuff that gets wrecked? 'Gift', my ass."

  
Akira had a better handle on her mood now. He settled in next to her with his own plate of curry. "Oh, bullshit. You love it. You said he had a superpower, remember?"

  
Mishima closed in on Ann, wearing an intense expression. "'With great power... comes great responsibility.'"

  
She shoved him hard enough that he nearly slid out of his chair. But he got her laughing.

  
Mishima was hungrier than he'd realized and they dug in, eating mostly in silence. He took over the sink and washed up their dishes while Akira packed up the leftover curry and Ann did her best to find and clean up everywhere she'd dripped.

  
When they had the cafe sparkling again, Akira held up the whiskey bottle, shielding it from view with his body in case anyone was walking by outside. He tried to entice them. "Hmmmm?"

  
"Do we need it, now?" Ann looked from Akira to Mishima.

  
"Ann. Come on. When are all three of us going be together again, overnight, with whiskey? We should try it while we've got it."

  
Mishima had to admit he felt a little curious. "If the owner thinks we're drinking anyway... "

  
Akira was glad for the support. "Yeah, exactly! And we only ever had one beer each at your house. Not enough to do anything for a strapping lad like me."

  
Ann snorted. "Yeah, yeah. I think you were less sober than you think." But she was on board.

\----------

  
Half an hour later, they lay sprawled in Akira's room with the lights off and a DVD playing on the TV, though it was at a low volume and no one was paying it much attention. Mishima was stretched out on the floor on top of his sleeping bag, laying on his belly with his feet up in the air; Akira lay on his back next to him but in the opposite direction, his head next to Mishima's, pillowed with the comforter from his bed. Ann took the bed itself, stretched out like a starfish and staring at the ceiling.

  
Akira lifted the mug he'd poured a little whiskey into, sloshing it. "Is this stuff working for you guys?"

  
Mishima flipped onto his back. "Dunno. Maybe?"

  
Ann kicked her feet up and down on the mattress. "It _better_ do something. Tastes horrible."

  
Akira pointed out, "Well, we just ate. I bet we need more before it starts to do anything." They obediently held out their mugs and he poured them each another inch or two. "Don't sip it, just toss it back. Maybe it won't hit your tongue that way."

  
They tried, but it was no use; the taste hit them all the same. Akira settled for a grimace but Ann and Mishima both groaned in unison as soon as they'd swallowed it, or more accurately, after they'd finished coughing. "Bleghhhhhh... "

  
Mishima let his empty mug thump back down onto the sleeping bag. "Can whiskey go bad?"

  
Akira laughed and prodded him in the shoulder with the bottle. "Nah. Don't think so. It's supposed to taste like that."

  
Ann rolled her eyes and addressed Mishima. "He talks like he knows all about it, huh?"

  
But Mishima hadn't heard her; he'd swiped Akira's glasses and looked at her through them, blinking owlishly. "Whaddya think, Ann?"

  
"Geeze, those are _ginormous_ on you - "

  
Mishima sat up straight, raised his index finger and flattened his other hand to his chest. "'The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.'"

  
Ann shrieked and covered her face, laughing. "Nooo, you're too good at that, I can't take it - "

  
Akira was less amused; he really couldn't take much teasing. "Hey, gimme those."

  
Mishima did, then turned back to Ann. "Is whiskey supposed to make you hot?"

  
Ann shrugged, then nodded. "Alcohol can, yeah. I guess."

  
Without another word Mishima wriggled out of his t-shirt, balled it up and flung it into the corner of the room, flopping back onto his sleeping bag with a sigh of relief. His face and neck had gone an intense pink.

  
Akira and Ann stared at him, then at each other.

  
Akira sat up and set the bottle next to the bed, out of the way, then pulled his own t-shirt over his head. "Gee, I sure am 'too hot' too." He peered up at Ann, clearly expecting her to follow suit.

  
Ann just raised her finger to her lips and nodded in Mishima's direction. After taking his shirt off he'd laid back down on his sleeping bag and closed his eyes. Akira nodded back and gave her a thumbs up as if to thank her for the idea.

  
Akira crawled over to Mishima, then propped himself up on one elbow, leaned over and kissed him.

  
Mishima's eyes flew open but fell shut again as he leaned into the kiss. Ann watched him angle up to Akira until his face was obscured, his head tipped back and his throat exposed. Akira pressed against him and put a little more of his weight on him, chest to chest.

  
As quietly as she could, Ann sat up against the wall for a better angle and settled in to watch the show.

  
Although Mishima seemed to be feeling the alcohol the most strongly, Akira was not unaffected; he had two spots of colour high on his cheekbones and his technique was a little sloppier than it might otherwise have been. As Ann watched, Mishima drifted one of his hands up to remove Akira's glasses again, this time to stop them from digging into his face. Akira let him, looking slow and sleepy, and used the brief pause to adjust his position. He propped himself up above Mishima at a better angle and, pulling back to watch his reaction, placed one knee between Mishima's. Mishima wore a lazy expression, his eyes barely open but never leaving Akira's face.

  
Akira lowered himself again, kissing Mishima's neck this time, and pressed his thigh against him. Mishima's mouth was free now and, just below the background noise of the TV, Ann could make out a tiny gasp from him now and then. At the sound, she felt a wave of heat uncurl deep within her. She actually had begun to feel hot now, in the more literal sense, so she discarded first her blouse, then her bra, trying to avoid attracting attention. She sat in her skirt and Akira's boxers and watched Akira rub his thigh against Mishima's crotch more insistently. Without taking her eyes off of them, she stroked her nipples, trying to recall the way she'd felt on her first night with Mishima when he'd played with them until she cried out.

  
Mishima had begun to lift his hips off of the floor to gain better friction against Akira's thigh, at the same time stroking Akira's bare back with his fingertips. Akira delayed just long enough to shoot Ann a smirk, one that said something along the lines of _You're welcome,_ and withdrew his thigh. He immediately lowered himself the rest of the way and began to grind his hips to Mishima's, both of them clearly hard. Ann shoved the waistband of her skirt and boxers lower, biting her lip.

  
Mishima had become impatient. He met Akira's mouth with his and simultaneously tried to undo Akira's zipper, though Akira had other ideas; he seemed to want to give Ann a better show before changing direction. Before Mishima could make any headway, Akira arched his back more dramatically and grinded down against him again and again until he had no choice but to whip his head to the side and moan outright, panting. His voice urged Ann on and she was fully naked now, seated on top of Akira's boxers on the mattress. She was breathing faster too, though she kept quiet as best she could.

  
Satisfied with the effect he had had on Ann, Akira finally took his weight off of Mishima so that he could unzip and shove his uniform pants and boxers down around his knees, then did the same for Mishima. Mishima just let himself be undressed, jolting a little as Akira yanked on his clothing, but then he seemed to change his mind and sat up. He placed his palm on Akira's chest and pressed into his skin with the lightest pressure, until Akira understood what he wanted and lay flat on his back. Mishima freed himself from the last of his clothing and climbed onto Akira. Just before he began kissing him again, now fully exposed in the blue light from the TV, he found Ann's eyes in the dark and slowly winked.

  
_He's known this whole time?!_

  
The second Mishima turned away from her and began kissing Akira again, Ann spread her thighs wide and began to slick her finger up and down, getting herself good and wet.

  
Ann had the perfect view. As Mishima kissed him, Akira's hands skimmed down his back, over his slim waist and hips and continued until he was openly groping his ass, gripping and releasing, sinking his fingers into his flesh. Mishima had to break off again, panting, and then started whispering into Akira's ear. She watched him listen and then give Mishima what was clearly an incredulous look before answering him. Mishima laughed quietly and whispered back. They discussed something for a minute or more, Akira's hands still running up and down Mishima's thighs, until he cut him off abruptly by reaching between them and seizing his cock. Mishima wasn't prepared and cried out, loud, into the quiet room. In the silence that followed, they both heard a tiny _slk slk slk_ as Ann fingered herself.

  
Her cover was blown, such as it was. All pretense was dropped and Akira and Mishima raised their heads to peer back at her. They chorused, "Boys loooooove- " and laughed raucously as she reflexively slammed her legs shut and covered herself, then relaxed again.

  
She had to laugh too. She joined them on the floor, kneeling on Akira's comforter, and leaned down to give Mishima, propped on his knees and elbows over Akira, a quick kiss. "You guys are _hot."_

  
Mishima was still pink in the face but moved a little more steadily; he might have been sobering up, though it was difficult to tell for sure. "As good as that manga I bought you?" he teased.

  
"Way, way better." She didn't want to interrupt them but at the same time she had a hard time keeping her hands to herself; she was seated by their heads so she reached for what she could, which wound up being Mishima's hair. She leaned closer and plunged both hands in and tugged until he rested his head against her palms and let his mouth fall open a little, breathing harder.

  
Akira had tilted his head back, leering openly at what he could see as she leaned her torso over his face. Then he laughed again and turned back to look up at Mishima. "Hey, quit poking me."

  
Without realizing it, he'd started rocking his hips against Akira's stomach as Ann played with his hair. He stopped immediately and buried his face into Akira's shoulder. "Sorryyyy- "

  
_No one told ME to stop, though._ Anne just leaned over again and redoubled her efforts, sinking down until she was kneeling on all fours over the two of them and tugging on Mishima's hair even harder. He'd started outright panting, his hips quivering in an effort to stay still, when she felt Akira take her nipple into his mouth and start working at it with his tongue.

  
"O-oh... hey..." she gasped. But she didn't pull away, and he didn't stop.

  
Mishima stirred, trying to see what had happened, and that helped her pull herself together. She returned to a sitting position next to them where Akira's mouth couldn't reach her, and made herself stop touching Mishima. "Sorry, you guys. If you want some privacy I can get dressed and hang out downstairs for a while."

  
Mishima grinned and let his eyes rake over every part of Ann that he could see, then glanced back over his shoulder to indicate his naked self. "Bit late for privacy, isn't it?"

  
Ann was forced to address the real issue. "I guess I mean that if I'm here it might be hard for, um. Me and Akira to stay hands-off."

  
There was a pregnant pause as both she and Mishima remembered his reaction to seeing her and Akira together earlier.

  
But then he smiled. "Why don't we give it another try?"

  
Ann grimaced. "I don't know. Weren't you feeling... ?"

  
"That was dumb of me though. I guess I felt... " He took a deep breath, then let it out and sank down to rest the side of his face on Akira's chest, looking up at Ann. "Jealous, after all. Even though I thought I wouldn't, I did. But you guys stopped right away. Made me feel better." He raised his head again and whispered in Akira's ear, though Ann could still make it out. "Sorry if I gave you blue - "

  
Akira just laughed and shook his head a little, then squeezed Mishima's ass again, where he'd let his hands rest while Ann and Mishima talked. He seemed to have decided to let them hash it out on their own and didn't speak.

  
Mishima addressed Ann again. "Him and me were just talking about it. I feel better about the idea now, I guess."

  
Ann shifted and pulled up her legs, then hugged them and rested her chin on her knees. "Think that's the alcohol." She winced. "I wouldn't really feel too good about, like. Seeing how upset you were before, and then getting you drunk, and then doing the exact thing that made you. Made you sad."

  
This seemed to be something that Akira hadn't thought of. Ann watched his eyes widen and he broke his silence, peering up at Mishima. "Shit. Is this. Is this going to be something you regret later? Sober?"

  
Mishima shook his head. "I don't think I'm drunk anymore. If I was all the way drunk before."

  
But the mood had shifted, and Akira gave him a comparatively chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth. "Still. Maybe it's a better idea to, like. Hang out for a bit. See if it's really what you wanna do."

  
Mishima looked annoyed but got up off of Akira and sat down on the floor by his side, hunting for his clothes.

  
Ann extended her leg across Akira and poked Mishima in the leg with her foot. "Nooo, don't get dressed! Be naked with me."

  
Akira hugged her leg to his chest and smirked. "Thought we were gonna wait... ?"

  
"Yeah, but. Doesn't mean we have to have all our clothes on while we sober up."

  
Mishima and Akira were giving her matching mystified looks.

  
She stammered, "W-well, don't you ever just... feel like being naked? It's not like you get to all the time." She turned to Mishima, "Since your parents are always home, and," then, to Akira, "Since you don't even have a _door."_

  
Mishima looked smug. "You just wanna keep looking at us."

  
She stuck out her tongue but didn't deny it.

  
Akira finally sat up, cross-legged, and stretched out his arms until his joints popped. "Well. I am still kinda overheated, I guess." He stood up, mostly soft now, and scooped up Mishima's sleeping bag without asking. He combined it with the comforter from his bed, his pillow, and some of their clothing, and made a sort of nest on the floor in front of the TV. "There!" He sounded pleased with himself. He laid down on his back in the exact middle and patted the spaces next to him with both his hands. "C'mere."

  
Ann took his right side, laying her head on his shoulder, but Mishima hung back. She tried to cajole him. "Come on! I can't look at you if Akira's in the way, right?"

  
He finally gave in and took Akira's left side, laying on his side and slinging his arm across Akira's chest.

  
When they were settled in, Akira laughed. "Ann was right. You guys really are the same size. Look, you even look the same." Ann and Mishima had each chosen the same position, laying on their sides and facing each other across his chest; despite certain obvious differences, their size and shape were more alike than unalike.

  
Mishima's breath hitched in his throat, and Ann could have sworn that she saw him wince. _What was that... ?_ But then he seemed to recover, and jabbed his knee into Akira's thigh. "Gee, _thanks_. That's what every dude wants to hear."

  
Ann scoffed. "I think Akira just has a type." Then she craned her neck as best she could to glare at Akira. "And I'm not sure that I like being told I look like a _boy,_ either."

  
He laughed without replying, and Ann guessed why. _You just like being the centre of attention._ Akira shifted his shoulders and pressed his warm palms to their backs for a moment, as if the position they were in still wasn't close enough for him. He looked deeply content, and Ann decided to let his remark pass without further comment.

  
She watched the images on the screen go by without really taking them in as an easy silence fell; Akira's breathing became deep and slow, and she began to feel sleepy herself as her breathing matched his. She actually had nearly fallen asleep when a tiny movement caught her eye - Mishima's face was just a few inches away, pressed to Akira's chest just as hers was, and he was smiling at her.

  
Slowly and carefully to avoid waking Akira, she moved her hand a few more inches to grasp two of Mishima's fingers, resting their linked hands on Akira's belly. "Doing okay?" she whispered.

  
He moved his head just enough to nod.

  
"He can fall asleep at the drop of a hat, I swear."

  
Mishima smile widened. "You were falling asleep yourself. I saw it."

  
"Creeper."

  
He laughed quietly and gripped her fingers tighter, closing his eyes.

  
"Tired?"

  
He kept his voice low for Akira's sake. "Not exactly. Comfortable." He opened his eyes again. "Guess you were right. It's kind of nice. Being naked with someone else, but not. You know."

  
They didn't speak for a few moments, listening to Akira's breathing.

  
Ann broke the silence, whispering. "You really think you'd be okay with... ?"

  
"Trying again? Yeah. I want to."

  
"Even though we made you upset? When you saw us before?"

  
"I just. Freaked out. Maybe that's just, you know. My thing. The thing that I do." Despite his self-deprecating words, he was smiling, relaxed.

  
"You did seem kind of freaked out at my house. But that's probably because we didn't get to know each other that well first."

  
"Yeah, well. I got over it, and we tried again, and it went better. I basically did the same thing with him." He glanced up towards Akira's sleeping face, then back to hers. "But, I mean. I appreciate how you and him both... Take care of me?" He scrunched up his face but couldn't take the words back. "Ugh. That sounds so stupid. You know what I mean."

  
"What, you just mean, you appreciate that we _care_ about you? Care about how you're feeling?"

  
He nodded, relieved that she knew what he'd really meant. "Yeah, that."

  
She squeezed his fingers viciously for a second as if to punish him. "Jesus, of course I care about how you're feeling. And he's rough, sometimes, but I know he does too. We're not gonna just. _Use_ you."

  
He smiled at her again, silent.

  
But talking about how he'd been feeling the first time he visited her house had reminded her of something, and she frowned. "Think that whole beer thing was a bad idea. I'm glad we're waiting a bit, this time. Sober's better."

  
He closed his eyes but nodded. "It made things easier. But I guess I know what you mean. I don't want to wonder later if this is really what I want, or if it was just the alcohol." He squeezed her fingers again. "Not that I really ever know, but. Yeah."

  
"Oh, come on." Her voice became softer. "I don't see you running away every time Akira tries to kiss you, now."

  
He snorted, his eyes still closed. "Well, okay. I know now that I like him. I didn't really get it, before."

  
"And you sure didn't need the alcohol the last time you spent the night at my place."

  
He opened his eyes again just to beam at her. "Sure didn't." Slowly, he stuck out the tip of his tongue and licked his upper lip.

  
She barely managed to freeze her body and keep from curling up to laugh; she could only clench her eyes shut and hiss at him furiously, her voice quivering. _"Mishimaaaa - "_ She settled for digging her nails into his fingers for just a second.

  
He took his hand back, checking to make sure that Akira was asleep. But his smirk stayed. "Okay, okay. Guess I've figured out that I like you too."

  
"There, see? You do know what you want. Mostly."

  
He looked sly for some reason. "Think we found out what _you_ like today, too."

  
"What? Seeing you and him together? I've been saying all along that I wanted to see that."

  
"Aw. Takes all the fun out of it if you're just going to admit you like it."

  
"How could I _not,_ though." She felt her face heat up as she remembered it. "Um. I thought you, uh. Liked it when he held you down, though."

  
Mishima closed his eyes but was able to say it, maybe just because he'd already admitted to it earlier. "Yeah. I do."

  
"So... why'd you get on top of him, then? After you were... "

  
"To give you a better look, dummy."

  
She grinned. "Ah. But what were you two going to get up to if I hadn't interrupted you?"

  
He kept his eyes closed and refused to answer. But he was smiling again.

  
_He still thinks it's embarrassing, though._ "Well. Sorry if it makes you feel weird. Maybe me wanting to _watch_ you, is... weird."

  
Suddenly his eyes flew open and his face lit up. "Oh, but you're not the only one."

  
"What?"

  
"When we were on the couch and Akira was sitting behind us... wowwww. I, uh. Think he really likes to hear you."

  
"What was he doing? I didn't get to see until the end."

  
Mishima was thrilled to tell her, as if he was enjoying passing on good news. "He snuck upstairs at some point after you jumped me, right? So when I looked at him he was slouched way down to see, um. Up your skirt, and his, his - "

  
"Cock- " she supplied helpfully.

  
" - yeah, like. He was soooo hard, Ann. And, like - " She couldn't help but stifle a laugh as he rolled his eyes dramatically for emphasis. " - you could see the outline of the whole thing, along his leg. When I looked over he knew I was looking at him but he couldn't stop looking at, um. You. Us. Under your skirt, I mean. Not even for a second."

  
Her face felt even hotter now, and even in the blue light from the TV, she could tell his ears were getting red. "But you said he likes to _hear_ me? Doesn't sound like that's what he likes to me."

  
He didn't understand so he waited for her to explain.

  
"Sounds to me like. Like Akira was hard from watching me sit on your cock."

  
He stayed silent, just looking at her intently.

  
"I bet he liked seeing me ride you. Bet he had a _really_ good view of you filling me up with your, with your cum, until it started to... "

  
She loved the effect she could have on him. Mishima's lips were parted, his eyes hooded, and as she watched, he shifted his legs, trying to get more comfortable without waking Akira up. She had managed to have a similar effect on herself as well, of course; she was wet now and breathing faster.

  
But suddenly his expression changed; his eyes went wide and he made a tiny motion with his head, trying to get her to look downward.

  
Akira was still breathing slowly and evenly. He was also hard as a rock.

  
_How long has he been awake?!_

  
She gave Mishima a truly evil grin and made a very quiet "shhh" noise. "Too bad he couldn't have been there when we had that shower last time. Fuck, that was hot."

  
He understood what she was trying to do now. "A few months back, when I was sitting a couple rows over from you in class and we hardly talked, I never thought I'd be doing _that_ with you."

  
She gave him an encouraging smile and waited for him to elaborate.

  
"Like. Remember when you got on the floor in the shower and I was able to just... sit you on my legs and start right away... ?

  
He clearly still had a hard time with certain words, so she came to his rescue. "When I was still super wet and relaxed from when you ate me out?"

  
He closed his eyes while he remembered it. "Yeah... you were so into it. It felt like your. Your - "

  
She let him flounder this time.

  
He finally got the word out. " - your _pussy_ was, like. Pulling me in. You were so loud, too."

  
He opened his eyes just in time for them both to watch Akira's cock twitch. There was a bead of precum forming at the tip of the head. They shared a satisfied look.

  
She was merciless. "No wonder I was loud. You were just. _Pounding_ me. Man. Your cock felt so... " She lowered her voice. "And then when you came... " Now she had to close her eyes. _"Mmmf."_

  
Mishima was in the middle of a sentence about what they'd been doing in the shower when Akira finally began to take his revenge. She felt his shoulder slowly shift beneath her head and, out of sight, his hand settled on her ass. She gasped in surprise but Mishima seemed to think it was in response to what he was saying, because he just smiled and continued. " - don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing that."

  
_Maybe this calls for a change in target_. She immediately decided to change sides, or maybe it was the game itself that changed; now that she knew Akira was awake, and he knew she knew, she decided to torture Mishima instead. Maybe she could get him flustered enough to 'wake up' Akira, or at least force him to admit he was awake. She was trying to come up with a suitably dirty response to what Mishima had just said when Akira let her know that he wanted to play a different game entirely.

  
She had just gotten out, "Yeah. I like watching your - " when she felt Akira's hand creep lower, his index finger brushing between her legs. "Unh - "

  
"My... ?" Mishima teased.

  
"Your, your face, when - " she stammered. Akira was making it very difficult for her. His finger stroked her lips, spreading her wetness until he gently slipped it inside. She exhaled, hard, against his chest. "When you're, um." It was the best she could do.

  
Mishima was grinning at her again, watching her face get redder and redder. "Geeze, Ann."

  
"Y-yeah, well - " She trailed off and swallowed a moan as Akira's finger began slicking in and out of her, deeply but maddeningly slowly. "Nice. Nice memories, right?"

  
"You must, uh, have a good imagination, huh?" She could tell he was watching her with rapt attention.

  
She had to keep talking. "Yeah. I still like. Still like to think about what you. What you do with... " Akira added another finger and, although she managed to stay silent, she couldn't prevent her hips from stuttering forward. He was still thrusting into her so slowly that she wanted to scream in frustration. _He's getting you back for saying you didn't like his fingering in the chat. Look where THAT got you._

  
Mishima's eyes were trained on her mouth now, watching her pant against Akira's skin. He fell quiet.

  
"Remember when you - when you - " was all she managed to get out before Akira ended the game. His first two fingers worked at her, slowly, and she managed to hold out, pressing her lips together to keep silent. But then he switched gears and sped up, fingering her hard and fast, and it only took three more thrusts before she was pressing her face into his chest and moaning, loud. _"A-ahhhhhhhnnngh... "_

  
The room seemed very quiet after that. Akira gently removed his fingers and went back to doing his best impression of a man in a coma.

  
The look on Mishima's face was absolutely _infuriating._ "'Remember when I ahhhhnngh?' Sorry, I didn't quite catch that." He wasn't bothering to keep his voice low anymore.

  
Ann went from lying on her side to looming over Mishima to yanking him off of Akira's shoulder and onto his back in less than three seconds. Akira's eyes flew open to catch only a wild flurry of limbs and he wisely decided to clear the area. When Ann stopped moving it was only to seat herself on top of Mishima and pummel his chest and shoulders with her fists.

  
_"You little shit - "_

  
He was laughing too hard to hear her. He managed to grab both of her wrists to stop her, and then she saw him turn his head to the side to look at something across the room.

  
Or someone. Ann was still struggling, trying to free herself so she could go back to walloping Mishima, when she felt two large, warm hands cover her breasts and begin to stroke her skin.

  
She tried to see behind her, in vain. "You! How long were you awake?!"

  
He crept closer, kneeling over Mishima's legs, and peered over her shoulder to watch his own hands groping her breasts. His voice was low, right next to her ear. "Long enough."

  
Mishima seemed to be taken aback by what was happening right in front of him - right on _top_ of him - and stayed quiet, still loosely holding Ann's wrists.

  
Akira began kissing her neck gently, the side he hadn't bitten earlier, and she angled her head to let him. Without thinking, she tilted her hips back as he kissed her. She wasn't too surprised when she felt him press his cock against her and grab her breasts more firmly, running his fingers up and over her nipples.

  
She _was_ surprised when, the next time she shifted her hips against Akira, she felt pressure against her, between her legs. She looked down and realized she'd been brushing herself against Mishima's cock for some time, pressed flat against his stomach. He'd just let her without moving a muscle, content to watch Akira take his time with her.

  
She finally spoke, tensing her thighs to prepare to move. "Sorry, M- "

  
He just shook his head and tightened his fingers on her wrists to keep her where she was, then relaxed his grip. If she wanted to get away, she could; but she didn't.

  
Akira remained uncharacteristically gentle. He left one hand where it was to stroke her nipple, and slowly trailed the other southward, tickling her skin. She angled her hips back against him to get even closer, and was actually able to make out the edges of the head of Mishima's cock as she pressed herself against it. She grinned as she watched him squirm beneath her, trying to gain more sensation but unwilling to interrupt what was going on above him.

  
Ann got an idea.

  
She pulled her right hand from Mishima's loose fingers and laid it over Akira's, stopping its progress, then twisted her face to the side to whisper in his ear as best she could. "Still got that lube?"

  
He gave her breast a final hard squeeze, hard enough for her to rock her hips forward and give Mishima reason to gasp, then stood and turned to rummage in one of the boxes on the shelf.

  
Mishima hadn't heard what she'd said and looked confused. "What's he... ?"

  
She let herself fall forward onto her elbows and knees, hovering over him and smiling. "Are you still up for another try?"

  
He nodded slightly but his confused expression remained. Akira returned and sat between Mishima's legs and behind Ann, out of sight. They all heard the bottle being uncapped before Akira stopped and checked in with him. "This okay, Mishima?"

  
His eyes went wide and he ran his hands up Ann's thighs, then down again out of nervousness, but managed to gasp out, "Yes! ...yes."

  
She kissed him, then moved her mouth to his ear as Akira coated his fingers with lube behind them. "I have a way to distract you. But it's more for me than you."

  
He exhaled abruptly as he felt Akira's finger slide into him and answered her with an effort, his words clipped short. "If it's. If it's what I think it is, I think it'll work great." His fingers skimmed back up her thighs to her ass and grabbed her, pulling her forward.

  
Akira added a second finger and thrust them into him, stretching him, and Mishima threw his head back for a moment, eyebrows twitching. Ann took the opportunity to settle on his chest and gave him a minute. When he was ready, he gripped her ass again and drew her forward the last few inches to his mouth until she was sitting on his face.

  
She was still wet from her conversation with him and from the attention Akira had given her, and he was feeling the effects of what Akira was doing with his fingers behind her, so he plunged his tongue into her forcefully and had her moaning almost immediately. Akira hadn't let up; he was up to three fingers now, then four, and kept brushing the spot within Mishima that made him turn his face to the side and moan against Ann's thigh. He was overwhelmed with sensation to the point that he was unable to focus on her, but she didn't mind; the idea that she could have a front row seat and watch his face while Akira pleasured him... The idea alone was making her even wetter. She had intended to help get him ready by distracting him from any discomfort he might be feeling, but she saw none in his face. She decided to take a rain check and settled back a few inches, just enough that she could have a better view of him.

  
They both heard Akira open a condom wrapper, then uncap the bottle of lube again.

  
She twined her fingers into his hair. "Ready?" she asked for Akira.

  
He sighed into her skin. "Yeah... " His voice was quiet, breathy, and she raised her hand in a thumbs up in case Akira hadn't heard him.

  
Discomfort showed in his expression again as Akira slowly pressed into him. She changed her plan of attack and scooted back on his chest until she was raised on all fours above him, then kissed him deeply to distract him. He tasted like whiskey and, to be honest, a little like her; but she kissed it away until he turned his head to the side again, gasping. "Akira. You can, you can - " He couldn't quite finish the thought, but it was enough.

  
Akira began to move. Ann heard him grunt quietly behind her as he held himself back, thrusting slow and deep until Mishima was fully relaxed. Mishima's face was captivating; Ann watched as all traces of discomfort vanished, his eyebrows smoothing out and his mouth dropping open. But then Ann remembered what he had said earlier, about how he liked to be held down. She was on all fours, raised over him, but if she stayed there, she was just preventing Akira from giving him what he really wanted. She'd still be able to watch from the bed, after all. She sat up and began to swing her leg over him to give them some room when Mishima put out a hand to stop her.

  
He opened his mouth to speak to her but Akira was still thrusting into him and all that came out was a gasp. Ann stayed frozen, trying to figure out what he wanted, but he couldn't seem to speak. He locked eyes with her and settled for placing his hands on her shoulders and pushing her gently backwards.

  
"What? Mishima - "

  
Akira seemed to be on the same page, at least. He stopped moving and reached forward to grab Ann by the hips, pulling her back until she was lined up with Mishima, raised on her hands and knees over him once more. He stayed still to give Mishima a chance to speak.

  
His eyebrows were drawn down again but he got the words out. "Ann. Want to?"

  
She got it now. She kissed him briefly and lowered herself the rest of the way. Akira, always helpful, reached forward and grabbed Mishima's cock to better line up with her. She sank down onto him until he was deep within her, wet as she was. She stayed still, watching his face, until Akira began to move again.

  
She'd never had anything like it. It was difficult to achieve anything resembling a rhythm; Akira's thrusts dictated where Mishima's cock would be, and she couldn't see him to tell where he would be next. And she couldn't get Mishima's cock as deep as she'd like, because if she buried him inside her all the way, her ass would be in Akira's way. So she decided to just stay still and let Mishima thrust up into her.

  
The drawbacks were more than made up for by the way she could watch Mishima's face change with every thrust; she was close enough to make out every gasp and half-swallowed moan he made as Akira picked up the pace behind her. She was busy enjoying the way she could feel Mishima's cock twitch inside her as Akira made a particularly deep thrust and was taken completely by surprise.

  
Akira paused and pulled out most of the way, just enough to lean down and give Ann a nip on the ass.

  
She shrieked in Mishima's face and her hips shot forward, lifting her right off of his cock. He looked startled and confused until Akira's face behind her must have given something away, because they both started laughing at her.

  
Akira was still laughing when he grabbed her hips and lined her up for Mishima again. But then he left his hands there and paused. "Hey. Lemme try something."

  
He maneuvered them both until he'd laid Mishima's hips on his knees, canted upwards, and Ann immediately sank onto Mishima's cock a little deeper. Then Akira grabbed her hips again and held her in place while he started thrusting into Mishima.

  
Now when Akira thrust into Mishima, Mishima thrust into her, and she began moaning in time. Akira sped up, his thrusts becoming short and choppy, and even as she felt Mishima ram into her, she focused on his face. He was a thousand miles away, completely overwhelmed with sensation; he couldn't keep his eyes open but his hands drifted up to her forearms and caressed her skin.

  
Akira was slamming into Mishima now, and as a result Mishima rocked up into her, fast and hard. Akira let himself fall forward and one of his hands found her breasts; he was too far gone to be as gentle as he had been, but she didn't mind. Instead of holding her hips in place with his hands, he leaned some of his weight down onto her instead, keeping her in sync. She lost herself in their sounds, Akira's harsh breathing behind her and Mishima's ragged moans below. Mishima took her by surprise, this time - without warning he began to come inside her, and she returned her attention to his face, watching his expression change. But Akira couldn't see him as well and didn't realize in time, and managed to push Ann forward, right off of Mishima's cock, with an ill-timed thrust.

  
"Agh - !" Ann felt Mishima absolutely coat her ass and part of her thigh with cum. Then she imagined what Akira must be seeing and started to laugh, feeling filthy.

  
Akira was still thrusting, harder if anything, but Mishima was overstimulated. "Sorry sorry stopstop _stop- "_ he hissed.

  
Ann knelt beside him and Akira slowly withdrew, trying to be gentle. Mishima was splayed out, breathing hard, with a little sweat in his hair. She kissed his cheek while Akira cleaned up the three of them and threw out the condom. "Doing okay?"

  
He nodded fervently, his eyes closed.

  
Akira returned and sat beside her. "Mishima, did I... ?" He sounded concerned.

  
"No, you didn't. I'm fine." He opened his eyes just long enough to look up at their faces, then closed them again, trying to catch his breath. "That was really... "

  
Ann laughed. "Definitely." Akira had propped himself up on one hand and had begun to stroke her hip with the other, then moved down to her thigh.

  
_Ah. Still need to take care of one thing._ She laid her palm on Mishima's chest as Akira started kissing her neck, gentle again. "Hey, Mishima - "

  
He knew what she was getting at and opened his eyes again. "Neither of you ended up...?" He smiled. "Go for it."

  
She lowered her face to his again and kissed him on the mouth this time. "You sure? We don't have to."

  
He closed his eyes again as if exhausted, still smiling. "Yeah. I want you to."

\----------  
  
Mishima lay flat on his back with his knees bent, still coming down, as Ann stretched out on the comforter right next to him and Akira lowered himself on top of her. He could tell they were both tired and maybe a little overstimulated themselves; Akira moved slowly and only brushed at Ann's skin with his fingertips, and Ann's breathing was deep and even as she stroked his back.

  
She turned her head to the side to look him in the eye and see how he was feeling. He gave her a smile and, this time, felt nothing but happy for them. While Akira slicked his cock with saliva, he paused to run the fingertips of his other hand over Mishima's thigh, close enough to brush against his side, before turning back to Ann and sinking into her. Ann sighed and, as she wrapped her legs around Akira's waist, found Mishima's hand in the dark and squeezed it hard.

  
Mishima watched intently as Akira's hips worked, plunging into her deeply but, this time, slowly instead of roughly. He could hear her cry out softly as Akira's cock hit home each time, but now the urgency was gone, though she sounded no less content. She opened her eyes and turned her head again to look Mishima in the face, letting him watch her moan in time with Akira's thrusts and twining her fingers with his.

  
He realized his heart was hammering and he felt his stomach slowly flip over and over, as if he'd stepped from firm ground to empty air. But it had nothing to do with arousal; he felt completely sated, and even watching his two best friends moan and sigh next to him hadn't changed the fact that he was used up for the time being. _Then why... ?_ Akira lifted his face from Ann's shoulder and met his eyes, still driving into her even as he tried to make an expression of concern to check in with how Mishima was doing; the effect was muddled somewhat by his sleepy, hooded eyes and panting.

Mishima gave him a nod and watched him drop his face back down, nuzzling Ann's neck.

  
Mishima watched Akira insert a hand between the two of them to rub at Ann's clit while he slowed down his thrusting, trying to make her come before he finished, and finally realized what he must be feeling as he watched them. _Oh, fuck. No._ Ann writhed around Akira's cock, moaning louder now and squeezing Mishima's hand. She arched her back to meet Akira's fingers again and again until she flopped back down against the floor, shivering against him and crying out, almost keening, as she came. Akira immediately drove deep into her and came soon after, his hips finally falling still as he sighed against her throat.

  
_I don't want this. I don't._

  
Dread clutched his heart as he watched Akira and Ann lie in an embrace, Akira gently kissing her neck again as she ran her fingers up and down his shoulders, his cock still buried deep inside her. The three of them had finally come to an understanding, reached an arrangement in which nothing was off limits and no one was jealous. In the space of a few months he'd gone from feeling so alone that he'd wrapped himself in numbness just so he could get up every day and function, to... this. To having not one but two friends who cared how he was feeling, cared if he was _happy._ Two people that he could trust with his most embarrassing secrets, who looked forward to seeing him, who shared their bodies with him. Two people who - and he could still scarcely believe it - were attracted to him, who squabbled goodnaturedly over which of them would get to see him next - which of them would get to _fuck_ him next.

  
Both Ann and Akira had made it clear that they were not interested in a romantic relationship, had shied away from "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" over and over.

  
And now he'd fallen in love.

  
_It's just going to ruin everything. I'M going to ruin everything._

  
He sat up beside them and started to get dressed.

  
_I'm such a fuckup._

  
\----------

  
Ann and Akira were in good spirits as they turned the lights back on and cleaned up. Mishima swallowed his feelings and faked laughter at some joke Akira made as he rearranged his sleeping bag and prepared to sleep. But then he heard a scraping noise at the window.

  
Morgana was scratching at the pane, asking to be let in. Fortunately Akira and Ann had just finished getting dressed, though Mishima couldn't help but notice Akira hurriedly stashing the string of condoms and bottle of lube back in a box before opening the window. _You know he's just a cat, right... ?_

  
Ann waved at Morgana as he jumped down onto the bed, then the floor. "Hi, Morgana. Did you get sick of Futaba?"

  
The cat laid his ears back and uttered a long string of yowls, just as if he was replying.

  
Akira looked sympathetic. "Aw. That sucks. We'll have a talk with her." He turned to Mishima, sitting up on his sleeping bag on the floor. "I'm not sure you two have been properly introduced. Morgana, this is Mishima. He's our, um. Close friend. Heh."

  
_Yeah. 'Close friend.' Sounds about right._

  
Mishima faked a smile, though he had never felt less like smiling. "I know him. He's always on your shoulder. Nice to meet you, Morgana." He quickly laid down and rolled away from them, hoping his face hadn't given him away.

  
He listened to Ann and Akira keep up a one-sided conversation with Akira's cat, then tuned them out as he curled up on his side. He felt like he was going to be sick. _Why now? Everything was just... easy._ Tears had begun to roll down his face. _If I tell them how I feel, it's over._ He tried to control his breathing to keep from making a sound.

  
Ann and Akira finished getting ready and laid down, Ann on the couch and Akira on the mattress to maintain their cover story in the off chance that Sojiro came upstairs. Akira had stashed the whiskey and mugs under his bed; they both seemed to think Mishima had already fallen asleep because they lowered their voices to chat a little more before turning out the light.

  
In the dark, Mishima held his breath, then let it out in ragged, nearly silent gasps, trying to avoid detection as he cried.

  
His eyes began to adjust, and he realized he could see two blue eyes shining in the darkness a foot or so away from his face.

  
He hurriedly swiped the heel of his hand over his eyes, then felt foolish. _He's just a cat, dumbass._ He sniffled quietly and tried to keep his voice down as he whispered. "Hi, Morgana." He smiled wryly. "Guess you caught me. Your hearing must be really good."

  
He listened carefully and only heard Ann and Akira's deep breathing; they must have fallen asleep almost immediately. Morgana sat stock still, studying him in the dark.

  
"Sorry to hog Akira all the time. Looks like you'll have him to yourself again though, from now on." He curled up a little tighter, then watched in amazement as Morgana daintily stepped onto his sleeping bag. He froze, waiting to see what the cat would do.

  
Morgana curled up next to him, the curve of his back pressed to his chest through the sleeping bag, and began to purr. Mishima risked stroking the top of his head with his thumb and Morgana stopped purring, his ears laid back. "Sorry," Mishima whispered. He kept his hands to himself and Morgana began to purr again.

  
When Mishima woke up in the morning, Morgana was still there, fast asleep.


	14. #blessed. Not looking for romance. "Why won't you talk to me?"

The morning after Mishima and Ann had spent the night in his room, Akira gave the place another pass once they'd left, paying special attention to the couch where Ann had dripped. He shoved the mostly full bottle of whisky into a box for another time, then gathered the three mugs from under his bed and took them downstairs.

  
_Shit._ Sojiro was already there, washing the dishes from the day's fresh batch of curry.

  
Akira set the dirty mugs on the counter and prayed that any trace scent of alcohol had faded away by now. "Morning. I can take over."

  
Sojiro just cocked an eyebrow, his usual sardonic grin in place. "Morning."

  
He could feel Sojiro's eyes on his back as he scrubbed at the dishes, but did his best to ignore it.

  
If Sojiro knew, he didn't let on. He smoked in silence as Akira finished up the dishes without taking his eyes off of the news.

  
Akira was already climbing the stairs when Sojiro called up to him, "Maybe you should go back to sleep, kid. You look beat."

  
He might not have kept his face as expressionless as he'd hoped, because he thought he heard Sojiro snort in amusement before he could make himself scarce.

  
Akira's face was still hot when he stretched out on his bed and opened the group chat with Ann and Mishima.

  
AKIRA: You guys make it home yet?  
ANN: yup. eating breakfast  
AKIRA: Mishima?  
ANN: I think he's got further to go than me  
ANN: bet he's on the train still  
AKIRA: Aw. Join in when you can, Mishima.  
AKIRA: Have fun last night?  
ANN: you know it bb  
ANN: two cocks in one day? #blessed  
AKIRA: Lmao  
AKIRA: Have your BL needs been satisfied?  
ANN: nope  
ANN: now I'm just hungry for more  
ANN: he looked so cute on top of you, fuck  
AKIRA: How are you not exhausted after all that?!  
AKIRA: Sojiro just told me that I look tired and that I should go back to sleep today...  
ANN: he knooooows -_-  
ANN: and yeah, I'm kidding. p tired too  
ANN: sore  
AKIRA: Sorry, Ann.  
ANN: nah, it's fine  
AKIRA: Kinda wish we could all see each other more often. We wouldn't have to cram so much into one night every time.  
ANN: yeah. hang on a sec tho

  
He took the time to browse the Phan-Site for five minutes or so until Ann returned.

  
ANN: ugggh. Ryuji's bugging me  
AKIRA: Heh. What is it this time? I mean, if you can tell me.

  
He was trying to hint that if it were Thief-related, she'd have to tell him in private, not in the group chat with Mishima, which of course she picked up on.

  
ANN: I told you we tried dating last year, right? before you moved here? I think he wants to try that again  
AKIRA: Interested?  
ANN: it went sooooo bad Akira  
ANN: and I don't think he's learned anything since then either. his idea of romance now is to tell me my tits look hot in, uh, what I usually wear, and then he offers to send me dick pics. like he's doing me a favour

  
Akira knew she meant that Ryuji had been checking her out in her red latex catsuit the last time they'd met up for Thief work. He covered his eyes with his forearm and groaned.

  
AKIRA: Wow.  
AKIRA: Uh, at least he asked before just sending them?  
ANN: that's what he did last year. so I stand corrected. guess he did learn something since then  
AKIRA: Well, I mean. That's what I do with you. So. I wouldn't say you're really looking for romance anyway, right?  
AKIRA: Ryuji's hot.  
ANN: maybe I should tell him to send you his dick pics then  
AKIRA: Aw, don't be too hard on him. Like, maybe he's guessed about the type of arrangement you and me and Mishima have and he thought you might be up for a new...  
AKIRA: Partner? I guess?  
ANN: I mean, he's not ugly  
ANN: not my type  
AKIRA: That's what you said about Mishima though.  
AKIRA: Hey Mishima, you home yet?  
AKIRA: Guess he's still on the train. Anyway, do you even have a type? Mishima and me are pretty different.  
ANN: you may have a point  
ANN: sweaty bro types ain't my thing tho, pretty sure  
ANN: you should throw him a bone if you think he's so hot  
AKIRA: I, uh, did get a certain vibe from him when we were hanging out sometimes.  
AKIRA: You'd never know it from what he wears but Ryuji's got, like, actual pecs.  
ANN: meh  
ANN: you boys are all I need  
AKIRA: Bet you'd like to see me and Ryuji make out though.  
ANN: well OF COURSE  
AKIRA: Lol  
ANN: but, let's be serious. are you looking for anyone else rn?  
AKIRA: Nah.  
AKIRA: I like what we've got.  
ANN: me too  
ANN: Akira, we're not being very nice. like, considerate  
ANN: Mishima, we're just kidding about Ryuji, k?

  
Akira suddenly remembered how he and Ann had started having sex on the couch the day before and how Mishima had taken it. He winced.

  
AKIRA: Yeah, if you read this later - we're not being serious right now. Ryuji's just our friend.  
AKIRA: Nothing to worry about. It's just going to be us three.  
ANN: we had a nice time with you  
ANN: hit us up later! I wanna chat with yooooou  
AKIRA: Yeah me too. Got stuff to do though, so I'll check in later.

  
He put his phone away, hoping Mishima would understand.

\----------

  
Mishima lay in bed at home, wrapped up tight in his covers in the dark, and scrolled through Ann and Akira's messages in their group chat. They had been worried about how he might take their comments about Ryuji, but it was Akira's offhand remark about Ann not being interested in a romantic relationship that kept dragging his eyes back to the screen.

  
_She didn't correct him. She really doesn't want anything like that._ He curled up into a ball and let his phone fall to the covers. _Why the hell do -I- want that now?_

  
His heart was in his throat. _You just can't be happy, can you. Things were going good with both of them so you just had to... fuck it all up, somehow._

  
_Falling in love fits the bill, doesn't it._

  
_Maybe they can tell how I feel and that's why they've already lined up a... replacement._ He let out a long, watery sigh and pictured Sakamato. They'd been closer friends in middle school, and as he thought of him as he'd known him before, he figured that they hadn't looked so different, back then. Sakamato hadn't started dying his hair yet, of course, and they'd both enjoyed gym class well enough, though neither had joined any clubs or really excelled in any particular sport. But in the years in between, Sakamato had left him behind, in a way. Now Sakamato was much taller than him. Broad shouldered, muscular, and sure of himself. Ann hadn't seemed to be too interested in him for his own sake but, then again, she'd said she'd like to watch him and Akira together, just as she liked to watch Akira with Mishima.

  
Then there was what Akira had said about Sakamato.

  
_He'd be happier with him than with me. There's no comparison. I should just give them space._

  
He pulled his knees to his chest.

  
_They don't like me like I like them._

  
He felt the familiar self-loathing creep back like an old friend. The same way he'd felt day after day months ago, when he was on the volleyball team, before he'd ever met the new transfer student and before he'd exchanged more than a handful of words with Ann.

  
_I'm too fucked up for them to want to keep me around anyway. Too fucked up for him. Ann might have heard bits and pieces from Suzui, but Akira knows all about it now. I practically laid it all out for him._

  
_He knows what I wanted, back then._

  
He lay in the dark and let his mind chase itself in circles until dawn came.

  
\----------

  
Mishima was absent the next day at school.

  
"Hey, Ann. Did he talk to you yesterday?" Akira asked from the desk behind her.

  
"Nope." She twisted in her seat to face him. "Weird. Usually he's pretty quick to answer."

  
"Maybe he's in dutch with his parents and they took his phone away."

  
They both snapped their heads downwards when Morgana began to speak, hidden in Akira's desk. "I'd have thought two Phantom Thieves would be more perceptive than _that."_

  
Akira kept his eyes on Ann instead of Morgana, trying to avoid suspicion as he answered a cat in a room full of students before the bell. "What do you mean?"

  
"Well, you're talking about that guy Mishima, right? Stayed overnight this weekend?"

  
Ann rolled her eyes at him, knowing he couldn't see her. Morgana just loved to draw things out. "And?"

  
"I don't know how neither of you noticed. When I came home that night he was really upset." Morgana's voice softened a little. "I guess I don't care what you guys get up to. I'm not an idiot. But he was crying like his heart got stomped on, while you two chatted as if nothing had happened."

  
"He was - ?" Ann said a little too loudly, then leaned closer to lower her voice. "I saw you sleeping next to him in the morning. I was surprised you'd warmed up to him so quick."

  
Morgana took on a more typical acerbic tone. "Don't mistake me, Lady Ann. That guy has done a lot for the Thieves with the Phan-site, plus all the work he puts in to finding new targets for us in Mementos. But he's still not exactly my favourite person in the world. For one thing, your room's always disgustingly muggy after he stays the night, Akira. I don't even want to think about what you guys do. I sleep on that bed too, you know!"

  
Akira snorted. There was nothing he could say to that in public when there was a chance he could be overheard, and Morgana damn well knew it.

  
But Morgana's voice was almost gentle now. "Even so. I have a heart. I couldn't just leave him alone like that." Despite his tone, his tail was lashing back and forth, thumping against the inside of the desk. "I don't know what you two did to make him that upset, but for the sake of the Phantom Thieves, we need our admin back. I think you know what you have to do."

  
\----------

  
The next morning, Mishima was back at his desk, but something seemed off. He hadn't bothered to put anything in his hair to spike it up as he usually did, and his shoulders were hunched up by his ears. It was Tuesday, but he still hadn't answered a single message from either Ann or Akira since they'd seen him early Sunday morning. Ann had even tried calling him the evening before, but he hadn't picked up.

  
Now, Ann and Akira watched him from their desks, willing him to pick up his phone. He kept it in his pocket and cradled his head in his arms, folded on top of his desk. Kawakami was mid-lesson but he didn't even feign interest in what she had to say.

  
ANN: is he sleeping???  
AKIRA: That's really unusual for him.  
ANN: look, people are staring...  
AKIRA: I wish he'd just talk to us. I don't get what happened, you know? Why is he upset?  
ANN: yeah, like...  
ANN: well, not to go into detail rn but the last time we were next to him on Saturday he was, like, smiling at us right? he looked happy?  
AKIRA: I thought he did too.  
AKIRA: Shit. Maybe it really was an alcohol thing. Do you think he wasn't sober after all? Like, maybe he does regret doing that now.  
ANN: Kawakami looks pissed. better ttyl

  
They put their phones away and tried to avoid drawing attention. When the bell rang for the morning break, they watched as Kawakami approached Mishima's desk and laid a hand on his shoulder, then led him outside the classroom door. They returned several minutes later; Mishima's face was red and Akira was finally able to get a better look at him. He tried to shoot him what he hoped was a sympathetic, 'let's talk' sort of look, but Mishima avoided him and sat down in silence, staring at the top of his desk.

  
AKIRA: Did you see him?  
ANN: no, I couldn't from here  
AKIRA: He looks really... bad.  
AKIRA: He looks like he hasn't slept since we saw him on the weekend.

  
His stomach sank. All at once, he realized what Mishima's face reminded him of. When Kamoshida was still coaching the volleyball team, Mishima had come to school every day with bruises and abrasions on his face, the old ones scarcely having a chance to heal before new ones would appear. Although he wasn't injured right now, the dark purple circles beneath his eyes and his defeated posture brought him uncomfortably close to looking the way he had back in April.

  
ANN: you said you talk to Kawakami sometimes, right? that weird maid thing she does?

  
Akira yanked his attention back to the present.

  
AKIRA: Not weird. She just half-ass cleans my room and does my laundry.  
ANN: uh, weird, Akira  
ANN: anyway, do you think she'd tell you what he told her when they were outside the class?  
ANN: because I wonder if he's having problems at home  
AKIRA: She shouldn't tell me stuff like that. But she might anyway.  
ANN: well. maybe that's going too far. maybe he'll come around and talk to us again if we give him some time  
AKIRA: Yeah, I kinda agree.  
AKIRA: I don't think he'd want us to do that.

  
Ann heaved a deep sigh, then turned in her seat just enough to meet Akira's eye. They nodded, and tried to think of another way.

  
When the bell for lunch rang, Mishima just laid his head down on his desk again and waited for afternoon classes to start.

  
\----------

  
It was Wednesday. It had rained all night, and the downpour continued well into the morning. Akira and Ann met up at the Shibuya station, still shaking out their umbrellas; Akira squeezed water out of one of his blazer sleeve, soaking wet where it had stuck out past the edges of his umbrella, then brushed the droplets from Ann's shoulders.

  
When they sat down in class, Mishima was already seated. His uniform turtleneck was soaked and practically translucent in places, and he'd come to school without a jacket or umbrella; as they watched him, they realized he was shivering.

  
Ann twisted to look back at Akira, her pigtails flying. She levered herself out of her seat and would have marched right up to Mishima if Akira hadn't caught her arm just in time. She glared at him, openly furious, but dropped back into her seat and began tapping into her phone.

  
ANN: are you serious?  
ANN: we have to talk to him  
AKIRA: Come on. You know how he is.  
AKIRA: I don't think it's a 'problem at home' thing. He's gotta be mad at us.  
AKIRA: If you make a big scene and try to force him to talk to you in front of everyone when he doesn't want to, he'll freeze up. You won't get anywhere that way.  
ANN: well  
ANN: I guess he did look pretty pissed when I asked him to come out with me after school that one time  
ANN: you're better at that kind of thing, I guess. maybe you should try  
AKIRA: Actually I think you might have more luck. He might be more mad at me, if that's what this is about.  
ANN: mad about... ?  
AKIRA: We had a big fight the weekend before last, when it was just him and me. But I thought everything was cool again, or I wouldn't have invited you both over.  
ANN: again, about... ?  
AKIRA: He made me promise not to tell you.  
ANN: ugh, seriously? it can't be about that or he'd be talking to me and not you, not avoiding both of us  
AKIRA: Well. Really, I have no idea. But I thought of something we can try. Lemme message Makoto.

\----------

When lunch had rolled around, Ann and Akira remained seated at their desks and watched most of the students file out of the classroom, choosing to either eat their lunch in the cafeteria or off school grounds. Ann waited patiently and, when it became clear that Mishima was going to stay at his desk, no lunch in sight for the second day in a row, she approached him and whispered urgently in his ear. He shook his head and stayed where he was. She shrugged and used her last resort - she wrapped both hands around his upper arms and hauled him to his feet, then pulled him right out of the classroom. She winced as she heard all conversation in the room cease, but there didn't seem to be any other choice.

  
He just let her. She didn't take her hands off of him until they'd made it to the roof and let the door close behind her. The sun had come out and dried up the unused desks and tables that were stored there, so Mishima settled on top of one. Ann stayed standing, placing herself between him and the door in case he bolted.

  
She took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "Mishima. Why won't you talk to me? Akira and me?"

  
He stared at his sneakers and wouldn't answer.

  
She'd assumed this was how it was going to be. She checked the door over her shoulder; the coast was clear. She closed the distance between them and got right in his face, planting her feet in front of the desk he was seated on and making him spread his knees a little to accommodate her. She rested her thighs on the edge of the desk and hugged him, hard. "What's going on with you?" she whispered in his ear.

  
He inched back, but didn't try very hard to get away. She didn't let go, and he finally laid his face against her shoulder. He let out a long, shuddering sigh until her hair stirred, but still didn't answer.

  
_Be patient._ She just concentrated on hugging him for the time being. His clothing had dried but his skin was still icy cold, so she put her warm hands on everything she could reach; she laid her palms over his ears, then both of his hands, finally pressing her hands to his cheeks until he ducked his head away. She peered at his face but couldn't figure out his expression. "Did your parents give you shit when you got home on Sunday?"

  
He shook his head.

  
"Are you mad at me? Tell me."

  
Another shake of his head.

  
She grimaced. "Is this about... what Akira and me were saying about Ryuji in the chat?"

  
There was a slight pause, as if he was thinking, but then he just shook his head again, his face still downcast.

  
She was all out of options, so she gave in to her impulses and kissed him, simply pressing her lips to his for a long moment until he wrapped his arms around her waist. Even his lips were cold.

  
When she drew back just enough to check his face, he only looked sadder. But something she had said or done seemed to have broken his silence. He leaned his forehead on her shoulder so he wouldn't have to look her in the eye and whispered, "I can't see you anymore. It hurts."

  
"You - what? Why?"

  
He'd gone back to being silent, or mostly silent. She heard his breathing change; he was breathing only shallowly now, in small harsh gasps.

  
She scanned the roof and the door once more. No one was watching, but she lowered her voice to a whisper anyway. "Is this because... me and Akira? When we had sex next to you on the floor, that second time?" She didn't give him a chance to answer and hugged him roughly again. "I'm. I'm really sorry. We shouldn't have."

  
His voice actually warmed up, if anything. "No. I was... happy for you? I mean, it made _me_ happy to see you both... happy." His arms were around her waist again and he rubbed her back a little with his palms, through her hoodie and blazer. "You both kept checking in with me and it almost felt like... it was me. Like it was me making you make those noises, or me making him make those faces." He buried his face into her hair and even gave her a brief, cold kiss on her neck, more out of comfort than anything else. "I liked it."

  
_What the... ? Is he feeling okay now... ?_ Ann hadn't the slightest clue what was going through his head. But she didn't want him to shut down again, so she went for a less direct approach and tried to just keep him talking. "Well. Gotta admit I liked it too. Or like... remember when we were laying on him and he was only pretending to be asleep?"

  
She managed to get a jagged little laugh out of him. "You thought you were being so sneaky. He kept, like, actually opening his eyes to look at you. And he was grinning at me. He was not being subtle at _all."_

  
"Aw, you boys ganged up on me!" Now she was laughing. "Could you tell what he was doing?" She whispered in his ear. "With his fingers?"

  
She'd gone too far and overloaded him. They were at school, after all. He nodded against her shoulder and didn't speak. She turned her head just enough to see that his ears were red.

  
"Heh. Sorry," she murmured.

  
He fell silent again.

  
Her time alone with him was slipping away. The bell would ring soon. "Mishima. Did something change?"

  
He pulled back this time, his eyes on his hands. "Yeah. Guess it did." He swallowed with a click and was able to look her in the eye, for a few seconds at least. "I can't do it anymore. This." He gripped both her hands in his. "Will you tell him for me?"

  
_Jesus. Talk about mixed signals._ "But you can't even give me a reason - !" She grasped at straws. "Did you find someone you, you know. Like-like?"

  
He didn't answer and kept his eyes on their linked hands.

  
She knew she had to fight for him. "My parents are gone again. Only for one or two weeks, this time. Come to my house, okay? We can just talk. Nothing else." He didn't look convinced. "Listen. Aren't we close enough that you owe me an explanation? Aren't we friends by now?"

  
To her surprise he actually snorted. "I don't know what you'd call us. Friends is as good a word as any, I guess."

  
She wasn't going to let him off. "Please come. I want to talk to you." She pleaded with him. "If you have to leave me, us, if this is just... it, can't you come by one more time to say goodbye, at least?"

  
Even that almost wasn't enough. She watched him waver and pulled him close again, putting as much feeling as she could into holding him. "Please."

  
He nodded against her shoulder just before the bell rang.

  
\----------

  
Akira thanked Makoto for giving him her permission for Ann and Mishima to meet on the roof and promised it wouldn't become a regular thing. He was just closing his chat session with her when he looked up to see the two of them enter the room, a minute after the warning bell had rung. They went to their separate seats without another word, both looking solemn, and he was bombarding Ann with questions before she'd sat down.

  
AKIRA: Well?  
AKIRA: Did he tell you what's wrong?  
ANN: no  
ANN: not really  
ANN: but I got him to agree to come to my house this weekend. maybe he just needs some time and privacy to talk about... whatever it is  
AKIRA: That's a start. Knew you could do it.

  
He leaned forward in his desk and rubbed her shoulder. Both of them had long since stopped caring who saw them exchange little signs of affection, and Kawakami seemed to consider them something harmless and safely ignored, in the same way she overlooked Morgana. Ann leaned back against his hand for a moment, then continued typing.

  
ANN: I think I could feel his ribs. don't think he's been eating or sleeping well  
AKIRA: Shit.  
AKIRA: Did he even talk to you at all?  
ANN: I don't think he's mad? freaked out maybe  
ANN: he said, 'I can't see you anymore. it hurts'  
ANN: he told me to tell you too so I assume that goes for both of us  
AKIRA: What the hell happened with him?  
AKIRA: Did his parents find out he's been with us? Me? Maybe they don't approve and they grounded him or something.  
ANN: no, he said it didn't have to do with his parents  
ANN: think we just gotta wait until this weekend to find out. he went totally quiet  
ANN: he's really upset, Akira  
AKIRA: I trust you. You'll make him feel better.  
AKIRA: Can you make him something good to eat? Not instant ramen?  
ANN: sure. yeah, he doesn't have a lot of weight to lose. he's not taking care of himself rn

  
The final bell rang and they put their phones away.


	15. Ann listens.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW for abuse and sexual abuse. Please proceed with caution.

In the days between Wednesday and Sunday, the only messages Mishima answered were the ones Ann sent to confirm, and re-confirm, that he was coming by on the weekend. He ignored all of her other attempts to chat with him, and everything Akira sent him. Akira tried to bring him curry to eat at lunch, but he refused to even acknowledge him. Ann and Akira went back and forth about it but finally decided to give him a little space and limited their attempts to talk to him.

  
On Sunday afternoon he stood on her doorstep, just as he'd agreed. Ann opened the door and simply held it open for him instead of yanking him inside. If her neighbours saw her having a boy over, they could talk all they wanted. She didn't care anymore. She let him come inside at his own pace.

  
He'd paid some attention to his hair but he looked pale and more tired than ever; the dark circles were still under his eyes. When he stepped closer she noticed his eyes were red, and he'd shown up without a jacket again, dressed only in a short sleeved t-shirt. The second the door shut behind him, she pulled him close and ran her warm hands up and down his arms. "Hi, Mishima."

  
He moved an inch or two closer to her and just let her warm him up. He didn't speak.

  
She led him to the kitchen table, where she'd laid out a few thousand yen worth of convenience store food. She sorted through it, trying to encourage him to eat. "I didn't know what you'd like, so I bought some of everything."

  
But he kept his face down and barely ate a thing.

  
_Be patient,_ Ann told herself again. "Do you want to just... hang out? Watch a movie?"

  
He finally lifted his head and looked her in the face. She tried not to flinch. He almost looked as if he were grieving; his eyes were hollow. "I have some stuff to tell you about me. Your friend Suzui, too. But I don't know if you'll want to hear it."

  
"I do. I do want to hear it." Her heart was thudding hard. _What... ? What else could have happened that I don't already know? This is a Kamoshida thing, right?_

  
Without asking he got up and made his way to her bedroom, trusting her to follow. When she got there he was seated on her bed. "Is this okay? Your room's less... open, I guess."

  
"Yeah, go for it." She dropped onto the mattress next to him, giving him some space. She still couldn't decipher his behaviour; he said he'd wanted things to end between the two of them, but he'd hugged her in return on the roof and he'd even kissed her neck. Now that he was back at her house, and especially after what he'd just told her, she didn't know how to treat him. So she sat a foot away and tried not to look at him too much for his sake.

  
His ears were already red, his face tipped away to look at nothing. "I don't know how to start, though."

  
_Whatever. Just try it._ She laid on her side and inched back toward the wall, then patted the space in front of her.

  
He didn't need much convincing. He stretched out on the bed in front of her, facing away, and when she hesitantly wrapped her arms around him, he sank into her with a grateful sigh.

  
_He's really not acting as though he wants to break things off._

  
Mishima was still cold to the touch, and after a bit more rearranging, she drew the covers over both of them, still fully dressed. She puffed her breath against the back of his neck until he felt a little warmer there, then pressed her face against him.

  
She gave him a long moment to gather his thoughts, but he didn't seem to be able to start on his own. "Been having trouble sleeping lately?" she murmured against his neck.

  
He nodded.

  
"What's, um. What's keeping you awake?"

  
He wriggled back against her as if he still wasn't close enough. "You know. Just." He paused, trying to get the words out. "I just keep thinking about how good I am at fucking things up."

  
"What? You didn't fuck _anything_ up. Why would you think that?"

  
He didn't answer.

  
Ann remembered what he'd said he needed to talk to her about and tried a new tactic. "You know, I still talk to Shiho almost every single day."

  
His shoulders stiffened against her immediately. "Is she, um. How's she doing?"

  
"She's doing good. Way, way better. She told me she's not unsteady on her feet anymore. Her legs are a lot stronger."

  
He stayed silent, then sighed. "That's good, but. I guess that's not really what I meant."

  
Ann lowered her voice. "I think she wouldn't mind if I told you. She sees a therapist once a week. I think she's getting better in that way too. You know."

  
She listened behind him as his breathing became ragged, and then she heard him make a tiny noise deep in his throat. She hugged him tight again as he tried not to cry. "I tried but I couldn't. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't save her, Ann."

  
She kept him close and just listened.

  
\----------

  
Mishima was still for a long moment, pulling himself together, then cleared his throat and began. "So, like. I think I was a little bit in love with Suzui - I mean, Shiho, back then. When we were on the volleyball team. Or I guess it was a crush. I didn't know it back then, but I think that's what it was."

  
His voice became much quieter. As close as he and Ann were now, he was still embarrassed to tell her. "It's dumb. She was just... nice to me. You know. I don't think she liked me back or anything. Even back then, I don't think I thought that she did. But she was nice to me when she didn't have to be, and that was enough."

  
Ann pulled up her thighs and pressed them against the backs of his legs. "How was she nice to you?"

  
"She put makeup on me."

  
She managed not to laugh. It was close though. It just wasn't what she'd been expecting him to say. "Did you ask her to... ?"

  
"No, she offered. It was back when we'd both just joined the team and we weren't used to, you know. Getting marked up by him. So I had this big red bruise on my, like, cheekbone - " He was gesturing at his face with both hands, even though Ann couldn't see him. " - and she had a big mark on her jaw. I was freaking out, because I didn't want my parents to find out. Back then I thought that they'd care, I guess. She waited until everyone from both the girls' and guys' teams went home, and Ka- " He broke off and she rubbed his arm, trying to let him know that he didn't have to say it. " - and he went back to his office. So Shiho took me into the girls' locker room and she put that stuff on me to cover up the bruise."

  
"Concealer?"

  
"Yeah, that. I helped her cover up the mark on her jaw, too." He sighed. "I tried to help her back after that. It was nice. It was like I didn't have to tell her about how things were going with me. She already knew, because it was the same for her. There was one time where she got blood all over her uniform shirt, because her nose started bleeding again after she'd already changed out of her practice gear. I had a spare shirt in my locker and I let her borrow it. Stuff like that." He startled her by laughing a little. "Looked funny on her though. Same size, or close, but I guess the girls' and guys' shirts are a different cut. But then she had something to wear home, at least."

  
"I'm glad you were there to help her. I didn't... I didn't know about any of this stuff until later." She muttered darkly. "I wish I had. I wish I could've, could've _shot_ that fucker. I'd have, I'd... "

  
She could hear a smile in his voice. "She used to talk about you."

  
"Oh yeah? What did she say?"

  
"Just... you know, she'd say she was going to go shopping with you, or whatever. I think you gave her something to look forward to, after practice." The smile left his voice. "Well. Until things got worse. You know how things wound up." She heard him swallow. "I don't know if you want to hear the rest."

  
"If you can tell me, then I can listen."

  
He seemed to have lost momentum and just stared ahead, thinking.

  
"So, um. You told me that you tried to stop it. That you couldn't... save her." She pressed her face back to his neck, an inch or two in front of her face. "What happened?"

  
He sighed. His voice sounded like he might be crying again, or trying not to. "I gotta tell you how he was treating the girls, I guess. So, like... he was doing this thing where he... signalled, or whatever, to everyone on both teams who he was interested in. It wasn't always Shiho. There were at least two girls before her. I don't know if they got what she got, but. Anyway. So everybody on the guys' team, he'd call them by their last name. Like you'd expect. Same with the girls' team. Until he decided who he had his eye on next. Then that girl would get, like, singled out. He'd start just using her first name suddenly. So everyone knew."

  
"What did he do to them?" she whispered.

  
"I think he was trying to cover his tracks at first. So he'd call guys or girls into his office, and they'd be 'disciplined.' And it stayed there, at first. But then he got brave, or careless, I guess. He started making these comments to girls out in the gym, in front of everyone on both teams. They weren't really all that, like, suggestive, on their own. He'd ask one of the girls what her weekend plans were and he'd say something like, 'A pretty girl like you must have a boyfriend' or whatever. But I guess he'd say more to her in private."

  
He paused, thinking again, and she let him take his time.

  
"He used to come into the guys' locker room while we were showering so he could keep, like, coaching us or whatever. Tell us the stuff we needed to work on. I don't think he'd go into the girls' locker room, at least. Maybe even he knew that'd be too obvious."

  
She had some idea of where this might be going, though she hoped she was wrong. "Do you think he was... into guys? Too?"

  
He didn't know how to answer her. She raised her hand from his waist and started stroking his hair.

  
"I really don't... know." He exhaled heavily. "I don't know how to say it. He saw me showering in the locker room and I started getting the first name treatment." He drew up his knees. "Called me Yuki. Called me pretty in front of the whole locker room. Asked me if I had a boyfriend, to make all the other guys on the team laugh. Shit like that. I thought it was just his way of being shitty to me, you know? But then he actually did start to... look at me. The way he did the girls. It was weird. I thought I was imagining it at first. Like, I still got hit when I fucked up in practice, same as the other guys did. The ones who weren't his favourites, anyway."

  
"Jesus, Mishima."

  
He shrugged and continued on. He seemed to want to get it over with now; his words came out faster and faster. "Right around the same time Shiho first started getting singled out was when I was too. He cornered me one day after practice and told me to come to his office after I'd changed. I couldn't say no, you know? He told me to close the door behind me and he just. Checked me out. Told me he'd show me what'd happen if I kept coming on to him." He paused again. "I really wasn't though. I never did. I never talked to him if I didn't have to, and I never - "

  
"I know that. I know you weren't. He just said that because - " She'd almost said, 'because that's what his Shadow believed.' " - because that's how he justified it to himself. What he did," she finished awkwardly.

  
"Yeah. You might be right. I didn't want it at that point, at least, so I don't see how I could've come on to him."

  
She must have heard him wrong. "W-what?"

  
He swiped at his eyes with the heel of his palm and didn't answer.

  
"Mishima... what did he do?" she whispered.

  
He sniffled a little. "At practice the next day I saw him kick Shiho's leg out from under her. She had to wear a brace after that. And he kept calling her into his office more and more until it was happening almost every day. I tried to talk to her when I could, see how she was doing, but it was like... it was like she was getting farther and farther away."

  
He seemed to be waiting for a response from her but she couldn't come up with one, so he continued. "I had to help her. I _had_ to," he muttered fiercely. "But. I was so stupid. I just wanted to play hero. Save the day. It didn't work."

  
He gathered his thoughts again.

  
"I guess I thought that if I fucked up on purpose, he'd be satisfied with that, with taking it out on me, and take some of the heat off of Shiho. It wasn't a very good plan, because... like, what was stopping him from doing anything he wanted to both of us? To anyone on either team, if he felt like it? But it was the best I could come up with. So I dropped stuff on the floor, and pretended to collapse in the middle of drills so he'd assign me more. Came to practice still wearing my uniform instead of my practice gear. Took a really long time when it was my turn to put equipment away after practice. Stuff like that."

  
"What did he do?" she repeated.

  
"I got called into his office again." She heard him swallow again. "He really, uh. Really made sure I got the picture that time."

  
_Did he... ?_ She held her breath and waited for him to go on.

  
"I thought he'd backhand me again or something. Kick me down. But he. He picked me up by my throat." He was talking with his hands again, gesturing at himself. "I still sort of expected that. Some of the other guys would have marks on their necks sometimes. He slammed me against the wall and then he. He put his... " He trailed off.

  
"You don't... you don't have to." She closed her eyes and felt sick for him.

  
"I do. I do have to." It was absurd, but he suddenly seemed to be more worried about her, twisting against her a little to try to see her face over his shoulder. "I mean, I can stop if you need me to. Don't worry. He never did... that."

  
He was already halfway there so she took him by the shoulders and rolled him over to face her, then crushed him to her chest, tears starting to run down her face. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry he... "

  
He took a long moment to just breathe against her, then raised his arm and hooked it around her waist. "He, um. He had me up against the wall with his hand on my throat and he put his leg between mine. To hold me up, I guess." His voice was muffled; he'd hidden his face against her. "Kept calling me pretty. Said I looked just like a girl. Said he could just... close his eyes and he wouldn't be able to tell the difference. He sort of... grabbed me, then grabbed himself. Grabbed my... ass, then my... " She nodded quickly so he'd know she understood. "But that was it. He stopped himself, or changed his mind. Told me that was my final warning, and to go home."

  
She pulled him even closer. "I didn't know."

  
He nodded against her chest. "There's more, though."

  
"But you said - "

  
"After that I... I don't know. I felt like I was going crazy. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I did all those things to fuck up on purpose, and then he called me to his office and did... that, but it wasn't enough. Shiho was still getting singled out. He was getting worse. I saw him actually... grab her, out in the gym where anyone could have seen him. He thought no one was looking, but... " He buried his face even further. She could tell he was mortified, but he made himself continue. "I didn't think about anything else. Every spare minute I had, I pictured him and me in his office."

  
"You were remembering... what he did to you?"

  
He slowly shook his head.

  
"Then what... ?"

  
His voice was hard to hear. "I think I _was_ going crazy." He was practically panting, or maybe hyperventilating. "At first it was like. Like when you think about something you're dreading. You think of it so you can sort of plan how to get through it. I started keeping a full change of clothes in my locker for if. For if it was messy. I tried to think of new ways I could fuck up and make him notice. It was the only thing I could do."

  
His voice climbed higher and she balled her fists in his t-shirt.

  
"If I thought of it enough, it'd happen. I could _make_ it happen, if I wanted it enough. If I tried hard enough, I could save her. It didn't matter what happened to me. She was so... she was nice to me. She needed my help." His words tumbled out of him. "I thought of it day and night. If it happened, it would actually, actually be a _relief,_ because then I wouldn't have to think of it anymore. It wouldn't be my fault. I could see him choking me, and then he'd, he'd, he'd _fuck_ me, Ann, and it could be _me_ instead of her, I actually _wanted it to happen - "_

  
He was sobbing against her, his face still hidden, and she yanked him up to her until she was certain he could breathe. He clutched at her and lost his words. She just held him.

\----------

  
The sun was setting, throwing long orange stripes across her room from where it shone through her blinds. From over his shoulder she watched them march across the floor, until the sun set behind a building and the light went from brilliant and warm to cool and grey, fading by the minute.

  
Ann continued stroking his shoulders through his t-shirt, the way she had been ever since he'd fallen silent. She knew Mishima hadn't fallen asleep because she could hear him sniff quietly every so often. The front of her t-shirt was soaked through.

  
_Be patient,_ she told herself again.

  
He finally stirred. He raised his face but covered it with both hands. "Ugh. Sorry. Can you pass me some... ?"

  
She snagged him a handful of tissues and looked away while he blew his nose, then tossed them away for him into her garbage can next to her bed. He lay back down but let her look at him.

  
He looked considerably better, actually. The panicked look had left him and he could look her in the eye when he spoke. "Sorry, Ann."

  
"Why are _you_ sorry?"

  
"If, um. If my plan had worked, then... " He apologized with his expression for having to remind her again of what had happened. "Well, Shiho wouldn't have. You know."

  
Even as her heart ached for him, another part of her seethed at Kamoshida, at the whole shitty system that had allowed this to happen to first one of her friends, then another, and that came out in her voice. "Don't you fucking apologize. You didn't do a single thing wrong. You didn't... you didn't _fail."_ She balled her fists in his t-shirt again. "I wish I'd known you back then. I could've - We were classmates. I could've been there for you."

  
He was smiling up at her, somehow. "You were! You saved me." He closed his eyes again. "You and Akira and the rest of the Phantom Thieves."

  
_Uh oh._ "What makes you think... ?"

  
"I know you can't tell me. It's alright." He tightened his arm around her waist. "Like superhero rules, right? 'Ann Takamaki' is your secret identity?"

  
After the last hour or two she'd spent with him, she was completely unequipped to deflect him the way she knew she should have. Her mind went utterly blank as the seconds spun out.

  
He actually gave her a short little laugh, and she realized he felt better. Maybe it was being able to change the subject that did it. "It's okay. You don't have to answer."

  
She ruffled his hair, first one way, then the other. "Think you could eat something?" she murmured. _Changing the subject sounds pretty good right about now._

  
"Maybe?" He pulled away from her to get out of bed, then saw her t-shirt. "Oh nooo... " He wrinkled his nose and then put his hand across her eyes, making her jump, but not before she saw the way his face was going red. "Geeze. Don't look. I wrecked your shirt."

  
"Enh." She shrugged and pulled his hand away from her face. She tried to cheer him up. "Mishima, at this point, what's one more bodily fluid between friends, right?" But something about what she'd said didn't seem to have the desired effect; he looked away instead of laughing like he usually did when she was vulgar with him.

  
She stripped out of her t-shirt without ceremony and grabbed another from her drawer. "Come on. There's gotta be something you like. I practically bought out the store."

\----------

  
At first she sat him down at the kitchen table, where she'd spread out the convenience store food. But the overhead light was bright and he seemed to shrink into himself beneath it, hunching his shoulders up to his ears again. So she went back to her room and whipped the covers from her bed, then dragged the blanket out into the living room, where the lights were off.

  
"Bring the food over here, okay?"

  
Mishima shrugged and swept it all back into the plastic bags, then hauled it to the living room. "What are you - ?"

  
She sat on the couch with her knees drawn up, then yanked the blanket over top until it had formed a sort of cave. She patted the space on the couch next to her. "Step into my Shame Closet."

  
"Ann, what... ?" But she'd succeeded. He was laughing a little.

  
He joined her under the covers and they munched on junk food while they channel surfed. She shared her strawberry and whipped cream sandwich with him and he tried to pick the weirdest flavour combinations for her to try from the assortment of candy and snacks she'd purchased. They'd come to the conclusion that melon gummies mixed with cheese puffs followed by a sip of lemon soda was the worst they could come up with when she realized that he was still avoiding eating much of substance.

  
She wrapped her arm around him, using the chance to play her fingers up and down his ribs. His t-shirt was thin and she was certain she could feel them more than before. "Have you been sick recently?"

  
"Nope. Why?"

  
She felt weirdly like his mother but she didn't know of a better way to broach the subject. "You're too skinny. You gotta eat more." She winced immediately. _Yeah, good idea, make him feel shitty about how he looks. Today of all days._ "Sorry. That came out wrong. You're not too skinny. I just mean you should take better care of yourself."

  
He was looking away again. "Yeah. Probably." He wrapped up the sandwich he'd been holding and not eating. "I haven't had much appetite for the last few days, I guess."

  
_Is there more to it?_ She kept her eyes straight ahead and draped her arm over his shoulder, leaving his ribs alone. "Wanna tell me why?"

  
Even though he'd bared everything to her less than an hour before, he couldn't seem to start again now. He frowned down at his hands, eyebrows drawn together, until he looked at her again. "Do you think your caretaker would miss one or two of her beers?"

  
\----------

  
Ann cleared up their food wrappers and stashed the leftovers in the fridge, then brought Mishima an extra tall silver can. He didn't touch it until she opened one for herself, then began to drink. She sipped at hers, not really wanting it, but he took long swallows of his until he'd made good progress. He didn't slow down as she stared at him. "Thought you didn't like beer?"

  
He grimaced. "Akira's whiskey would make this easier."

  
"Aw, honey." She slung her arm around his neck and sighed.

  
She could tell he was staring at her. "Uh, 'honey?'"

  
Ann blushed, surprised at herself, then had to laugh. "Sorry. Don't know where that came from."

  
But he was smiling again, a little. "You and Akira don't really do, like. Pet names." He took another slug of his beer. "Actually. I think you called me 'honey' in our chat, once."

  
"Sorry."

  
He rested the side of his head on his knees, twisting his face to look up at her. Maybe it was just the alcohol, but he didn't seem to mind meeting her eyes for the time being. "Heh. Didn't say I didn't like it." He held her hand under the blanket with the hand that wasn't holding his beer.

  
She was completely mystified. _I thought you came here to break it off... ?_ She sipped at her beer and settled for watching his face lose its sharp, harried expression; his forehead smoothed out and his eyes fell half-closed. If anybody needed a drink, it was him.

  
He finished it off and set the can on the coffee table, then leaned against her. His face was flushed and he let his head sag to the side until she held him up with hers. "I can't keep putting this off," he blurted out.

  
She waited.

  
"I know how you and Akira want it to be. You never hid it or lied about it. Either of you." Mishima's voice was unsteady. "You did so much for me. You _saved_ me. So I have to do the right thing, you know? Gotta. Gotta man up. I feel like I'm... dying, or something. But I can't just drag it out every day."

  
She opened her mouth to ask him what he meant but he continued on. "I can't sleep. And I... I guess I don't know how I'm going to make it without, um. Without you and him. I'll just have to. It hurts too much to just... to just pretend everything's the same, you know?"

  
"Mishima - "

  
He squeezed her fingers tight, and then let go. "I have to let you and him... I have to break it off. I can't be around you anymore."

  
"But why - "

  
He buried his face in his arms, folded on top of his knees, and groaned. "This is so - I'm in love with you, okay?"

  
Ann had no answer.

  
"You and him," he muttered.

  
She knew she had to say something. She found his hand again under the blanket. "I. I _care_ about you... "

  
He nodded, his face still buried. He took his hand back. "As a friend, right? I know."

  
"Well yeah, but - "

  
"So like, now that I've told you all that shit, about... what I'm like, now you know why, right? Why you're better off if I'm not around?" She tried to interrupt him but he kept going. "Akira told me you guys put a hold on what you were doing. Because of me. But now you can pick it back up again."

  
He lifted his face to look at her and gave her the most ghastly smile. "You guys are good together."

  
"Mishima, why can't we just - "

  
"You're both busy enough with you-know-what. You don't need my problems."

  
"But what _changed?_ If Kamoshida - " She watched his face crumple and wished she could take it back. " - if all that shit he did to you is done with, and things were going so well with us, then what... like, what reminded you?" Her stomach sank; she was doing such a shitty job with this. "I mean, I know it's not something you just get over overnight or whatever, but - "

  
He dropped his face back down.

  
Her voice sounded so _accusatory. I hate this._ She blew out her breath until her hair moved and tried again, her tone less harsh. "Akira told me you guys had a 'fight' the weekend before last, but wouldn't tell me what it was about. Was it about this... ?"

  
He nodded against his knees. "Not a 'fight,' more like... I dunno. More like some of this stuff just came out. A little bit of it, anyway." He mumbled, "Maybe it was a fight. I was being a dick."

  
She was so furious at Kamoshida all over again and so upset about what Mishima was telling her that she had to keep reminding herself to adjust how she talked to him. She did her best. "Did you ever tell your parents?"

  
"They already knew."

  
"All of it, though? They saw your face, but did you ever sit them down and... ?"

  
He snorted. "What would be the point? It's over."

  
She tried to sound understanding. "That's what I mean. It's _not._ If it were over then you wouldn't have had that fight with Akira about it. Like, it's not happening anymore, but if you never talked about it... "

  
Her stomach was in knots. _It was months ago. Am I seriously the only one he's told?_

  
He'd raised his head again and she was taken aback by the change in his expression. He was smiling at her, though there was something off about it. His eyes were too wide - panicked again, maybe. "Well, I talked about it today. Thanks for listening."

  
"Of course - "

  
She jerked back, baffled, as he leaned in and tried to kiss her.

  
"Mishima, geeze - "

  
He cringed in on himself and hid his face again.

  
_Way to fucking go, Ann._ "No, it's not like I don't want to - like, kiss you, I guess, but - _you_ want to? You just told me you came here to end things with me, and all that other stuff, so - "

  
"I can't keep - I can't think about that old shit anymore. I need to... turn off my brain." He faced her and this time he looked even worse; instead of the weird, overstimulated smile, now he looked anguished. "Can we?"

  
"Can we what?" She jumped as his hand settled on her thigh under the blanket, then crept upward. "Oh - _now,_ though? After you just told me... ? I don't think that's a good idea."

  
He left his hand where it was. "Something just for you then?"

  
"That's not what I want right now, Mishima."

  
"Don't you like it when I... ?" He looked so hurt, so miserable, that she almost gave in. "I, I know how to make you feel good. I can use my fingers like Akira used to, for you, and - "

  
Her heart was breaking. "Mishima, _no."_ She moved his hand away and hugged him roughly, trying to pin his arms to his sides so that he couldn't try to touch her again. He stayed still and let her.

  
She wanted so desperately to make him feel better that she grasped at straws. "Maybe a hot shower would help. Just you, I mean." _Yeah, because hot showers fix everything. What a stupid thing to say._

  
But he nodded. "Sure. Could you get it going for me?"

  
"Yeah, of course." She got up off of the couch and turned on the water in the bathroom. She didn't hear the front door open and close quietly behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully now some of the ways Mishima has been acting strangely, around Akira especially, are starting to make sense.


	16. Silent treatment. "Are you okay?" Use your brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An early update because it was making me too sad to leave things where they were at the end of the last chapter.

It took Ann five minutes or so to realize Mishima wasn't following her to the bathroom to have a shower. She sent him a handful of chat messages, but they went unanswered, just like almost all of the others she'd sent over the past week.

  
ANN: Akira?  
ANN: please be at home  
ANN: Akira this is serious. answer me, okay?  
ANN: he came over tonight and he's in rough shape. he just left and I don't know where he went  
ANN: he might be going to your place  
ANN: are you there?

  
She tried calling first his phone, then Mishima's, but neither of them picked up. She grabbed her coat and ran to the nearest station, but when she got there, he was nowhere to be found.

  
\----------

  
Akira was just leaving Yongen station, headed home after a shift at the Crossroads bar, when he nearly walked into something in the dark, a few steps away from the front door of Leblanc. He was tired, ready to crawl into bed, and wasn't paying as much attention as he should have been; otherwise his night vision would have tipped him off well ahead of time. The shape moved, causing Akira to tense up in case he needed to defend himself, but then it spoke.

  
"Hey." It was Mishima, leaning against the concrete wall of the alleyway with his hands jammed into his pockets. He didn't have his phone in his hands as he usually did; instead, he'd simply stared into space until Akira drew near.

  
After being given the silent treatment for the entire week, only to run into him in the dark when he was supposedly visiting Ann, Akira was left babbling. "H-hey - oh, were you trying to reach me? I turned my phone off while I was working - "

  
Mishima touched his wrist with just his fingertips before he could pull his phone out of his pocket. His skin was like ice. "I guess I should've, but. I just came straight here."

  
"Do you not own a _coat?_ You could've waited for me inside. Come here - " He felt a surge of warmth in his chest just to see him, just to be allowed to speak to him freely; he hadn't realized how much he enjoyed talking to him every day until he couldn't anymore. Akira pulled him close and warmed his bare arms up with his palms, just as Ann had done, only remembering after he'd already done it how Mishima felt about public displays of affection. He'd opened his mouth to apologize and was about to give him his space back, but Mishima had wrapped his arms around his waist as tight as he could.

  
_He's actually okay with this now? Out in the open?_

  
"So... you're not mad at me?" No answer. Akira pulled back from him just enough to peer first over his own shoulder, then over the top of Mishima's head, for any sign of onlookers. For the moment, at least, they had the alleyway to themselves. "The coast is clear," Akira whispered. He stooped down to kiss him.

  
Akira had meant it to be a quick, close-mouthed kiss, given they were still out in public, but Mishima kissed back as if they'd been apart for months. He lips were cold as marble and he tasted like the beer he'd drank earlier, which Akira supposed might explain part of why he was kissing him like this. Akira finally broke it off, breathing a little more heavily. "Whoa - " Mishima grasped the back of his neck with his chilly fingers, trying to pull him back down to his level, and Akira had to press down on the tops of his shoulders to stop him. "Hang on, hang on - " Akira was so relieved that the fight was over, whatever it had been about, that he started to laugh a little. "If you don't give me a break I won't be able to walk in the front door." He settled for warming up Mishima's upper arms again until he felt a paw swat the side of his face.

  
"Did you just _forget_ that I'm here?!"

  
_Shit..._ Akira really had forgotten all about Morgana, nestled in his bag as he usually was. He held up one finger to Mishima, then took a step back and tried to mumble to Morgana out of the side of his mouth as best he could. "Sorry, buddy."

  
He needn't have worried about being detected; Mishima was leaning against the wall of the alley again, spaced out and just waiting for him to make time for him again. He couldn't see Morgana very well out of the corner of his eye, though he could feel his tail lashing against his back. "I know we didn't talk about this ahead of time, but... "

  
"Yeah, yeah. I know the drill. Futaba's again." But Morgana's snark was mostly just for show; his tone became gentle almost at once. "He looks _awful._ Give him some of that curry you make or something, okay?"

  
"Good idea." Akira stayed still and waited for the cat to leap from his shoulder to the pavement, then watched him for a moment as he disappeared into the shadows.

  
If Mishima thought anything was strange about the way Akira treated his cat, he didn't show it. He closed the distance and sighed, laying his face against Akira's chest. "Is it okay if I come inside tonight?"

  
_He must be freezing._ "Yeah, of course - " He separated from him just long enough to walk the last ten steps or so to Leblanc, then opened the door, Mishima just behind him.

  
Sojiro gave them a curt nod, then did a double take when he saw Mishima; Akira wasn't sure if it was because he'd arrived in only a thin t-shirt or if it was something else about his appearance. Mishima quailed under his scrutiny and dropped into a booth, flipping through a crossword book that someone had left behind. He hunched over and hid his face behind his shoulder.

  
Akira had arrived home later than he usually did, and he realized that Sojiro must have been waiting on him; he had his hat and coat on, and the sign on the door had been flipped to closed. They each had their own key, so perhaps it was something else. "Sorry. Did you want to talk to me, or... ?"

  
Sojiro opened his mouth, his eyes still on Mishima, but then seemed to think better of it. He shook his head. "Nope. Lock up for me, kid." He adjusted his hat and left.

  
Akira followed him to the door and turned the lock. "Coffee, Mishima?"

  
When he turned around, he just barely caught a glimpse of Mishima's sneakers disappearing up the stairs.

  
_Guess that's a no?_ He laughed a little to himself. He shut the lights off and climbed up the stairs after him.

  
Mishima was already sitting on the bed, waiting for him. As soon as Akira came into sight on the stairs, he started pulling his t-shirt over his head.

  
"You're not wasting any time, huh... ?" Akira dropped onto the mattress next to him, then laid his hand on his arm. "Why don't you let me warm you up first, though?" He stretched out under the covers, still fully clothed, then held them up for Mishima. He couldn't get a good look at his face, but as far as he could tell, he still looked just as exhausted as he had the last time he'd seen him. Mishima sank against him and lay still.

  
"Weren't you going to see Ann today? I wasn't expecting to see you til Monday, at school."

  
When Mishima finally spoke, his voice was muffled from having buried his face against Akira's chest. "I did, but she... " He trailed off, then put his hands under Akira's shirt as if that were an answer.

  
Akira hissed between his teeth, then started laughing. "You're like a goddamn _icicle... "_ He slid his own hands up Mishima's bare back, trying to warm him up. "Are you shivering? C'mere."

  
Akira wrapped him in his arms, his thin body quivering against him. "So... are you going to tell me what - "

  
Mishima abruptly lifted his face and kissed him.

  
He barely gave Akira a chance to catch his breath; he pushed his tongue into his mouth as if there'd been no time at all between when he'd kissed him outside and now. Akira broke away and tried to speak but Mishima just pressed his cold lips to his again and sighed into his mouth.

  
Akira turned his head to the side and covered his own mouth with his palm to stop him. He tried to search Mishima's face for some kind of clue. "Why are you... ?" he murmured from behind his hand.

  
Mishima dropped his face back down against Akira's chest. He refused to answer.

  
_More silent treatment._ Akira tried to smooth away the irritation he was starting to feel but a hint of it crept into his voice. "Like, I'm glad to see you, and I like kissing you, but - "

  
Mishima lifted his head again, breathing heavily. His eyes were too wide, and he looked as though he hadn't slept well in days, just as Akira had thought. Instead of hiding his face again, he locked eyes with Akira and inched away from him, just enough to put a little space between the two of them. Instead of answering, he angled his hand between them and started massaging Akira's cock through his pants.

  
Akira's hips jerked backwards; he hadn't had the chance to warm up to kissing Mishima and was taken by surprise. "Slow _down - "_

  
Mishima dropped his face back down and let out what might have been a sob, still shivering against him.

  
_What is this... ?_

  
He pulled him close again and sighed into his hair. "Come on. Start talking."

  
Akira was startled when Mishima blindly drove his face against his neck, hard, then blurted out, "God, don't make me do it all over again - "

  
_What?_ "Then just... chill, okay? Sleep here if you want."

  
Akira listened to him take in little sips of air below his ear; instead of calming down, he was just breathing faster and faster. "Is - is that what you want?"

  
"Uh, I want to hear what the hell's going on with you, actually." He grimaced; that had come out a lot harsher than he'd intended. "But if you can't talk, then I want you to get some sleep."

  
"Do you... want me here?"

  
"Course I do."

  
He was still speaking into Akira's neck; his voice took on a pleading tone. "Then couldn't we just... will you let me? I want to, I want to make you - "

  
_Is that all this is?_ Akira relaxed and lowered his lips to his ear, smiling. "Are you _that_ pent up?"

  
Mishima arched his back and showed him, his words tumbling out of him. "Yeah, so let's - let's - " He shivered a little, just for a second. "I want this, " he said fiercely, half to Akira and half to himself.

  
Akira wrapped his arms around him tighter. "Will you talk to me after?" He trailed his fingertips over Mishima's bare shoulderblades. "I missed you, this last week. Talking to you, I mean."

  
But Mishima didn't bother to answer. He flung the covers off of them and worked at the zipper of Akira's jeans, then yanked them halfway down his thighs. When he'd gotten his boxers pulled down he knelt beside him and gripped Akira's cock, still almost entirely soft, then closed his lips over it.

  
"Sorry, you're going to have to give me another minute - "

  
Mishima stroked him and cupped his balls in his palm, then started sucking him, hollowing his cheeks. His efforts were starting to have an effect; Akira sighed and closed his eyes.

  
When he opened them about a minute later, his heart froze at what he saw. Mishima was bobbing his head above Akira's cock, a look of intense concentration on his face. He was crying silently.

  
"Fuck - what - Mishima, _stop_ \- "

  
He actually sped up, sucking harder, and Akira had to pull him away. Mishima angrily swiped at his face with his forearm and reached for him again.

  
He hooked both of Mishima's arms and yanked him up to lay in front of him, then pulled him to his chest. Mishima fought against him for a moment, still trying to return to what he'd been doing; then he lay still.

\----------

  
He knew he had to say something, but Akira was struck dumb with indecision. _What happened at Ann's that made him like this?_ But he'd been off all week. _When we saw him last weekend he looked fine, but... Morgana said he'd been crying without letting us see it. Is this a jealousy thing?_

  
_Even if I knew what to say, he wouldn't answer anyway._

  
His mind was playing tug of war with itself when he heard a rapping on the glass door of the cafe downstairs.

  
He thrashed his entire body in surprise and would have flung Mishima over the side of the bed if he hadn't caught him at the last second. "Shit, sorry - I have to go downstairs, it's probably Sojiro - I'll, I'll be right back, okay?"

  
Mishima sat up, his face lowered, and let Akira get out of bed. He wrenched his jeans back on and flew down the stairs.

  
_Did he forget his key?_ But when Akira reached the bottom of the stairs and padded across the cafe in the dark, he caught a glimpse of blonde hair through the glass.

  
Ann was pelting him with questions from the other side before he'd even gotten it unlocked. "Is he here?"

  
"What - "

  
"Is he?"

  
"Yeah, actually, he's upstairs. Did you two have a fight or something?"

  
She pulled him into the booth closest to the door, the lights still out, and began whispering to him urgently. She ignored his question. "How is he with you?"

  
He matched her tone, keeping his voice low. "Weird, I guess." He desperately wanted to forget what had just happened. But if anyone would understand, it would be her. "He... I don't know what's up with him. He was all over me, as if he was - you know - pent up, or whatever, but then he started... "

  
She took his hand across the table, her fingers almost as cold as Mishima's had been. "It's not your fault if you did, but. Did you... ? You and him?"

  
It still didn't feel like the right time to share details with her, but she looked so concerned that he made himself say the words. "He started crying while giving me head."

  
She shut her eyes, wincing, then clenched his fingers. "You didn't know."

  
"I don't _know_ because no one's _telling_ me. What happened at your house?"

  
She took her hand back, straightened up in the booth, and did her best to repeat to him what Mishima had told her about Kamoshida.

  
\----------

  
Ann finally finished. " - and I think he still blames himself. He kept _apologizing_ to me. As if what happened to Shiho were his fault." She scowled as she remembered one more detail. "And his parents did _nothing._ Christ."

  
Akira ran his fingers through his hair. His heart was in his throat as his mind played back not only what he'd just been doing with Mishima upstairs, but what he'd been doing with him every single time he'd had him in his bedroom.

  
"You didn't know," she repeated. Her eyes were glassy, but instead of crying, she just sounded tired.

  
He was still trying to fit the pieces together. "If that's what he was telling you about today, then why the _hell_ would he want to - ? With both me and you? He - "

  
They each heard the sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs leading down from the attic at the same time. Mishima stood at the bottom, a bottle in his hand; he'd taken the time to put his t-shirt and sneakers back on, though it must have been before he'd found Akira's whiskey. His expression was hard to make out in the dark but there was no mistaking his tone, even if his words were slurred. "No, please. Don't mind me. Go on talking about me." He slouched into one of the seats at the bar, thudding the whiskey bottle onto the bartop and propping his chin up with his hand.

  
Akira stood and flipped the lights on. At any other time, he might have left them off out of consideration for him, but right now he needed to see him. "Are you... are you okay?"

  
He might as well have kept the lights off. Mishima averted his face and didn't answer. When neither Akira nor Ann spoke, he took another pull of whiskey, only coughing a little this time. He didn't resist when Akira pulled it from his loose fingers and set it underneath the bar, out of his reach.

  
Akira felt shellshocked, still trying to gather his wits. Ann had had a little more time. She stood behind Mishima's seat at the bar and wrapped her arms around him. He lowered his head until his chin rested on her forearms. When he spoke, his words were still slurred, though his tone had become almost robotic. "Yeah. I'm okay."

  
_How can he say that?!_ Akira couldn't help but let a little of the irritation from before back into his voice. "You are _not_ okay," he snapped.

  
Ann released Mishima, shooting a worried look at Akira but letting him take his time to figure things out. Mishima fell silent again.

  
Akira slid into the seat next to him, trying to see his face. He took his hand, limp but at least warm now. "Why would you tell Ann but not me?"

  
Ann jerked in surprise, glaring at him. "Is that really what's important right now? _That's_ what you care about?"

  
Akira stammered, "W-well, I guess not, but - " He still felt hopelessly off balance. There was too much to process. "What I mean is, why didn't you tell me? Like, this sort of came up a couple weeks ago, when you stayed the night, but you didn't tell me then."

  
Mishima laid his head upon his arms, folded atop the bar, and mumbled into them. "It doesn't matter. It's all over with."

  
Akira had opened his mouth to say something - he didn't know what - when he heard the front door of Leblanc open behind him. Sojiro stood in the doorway, silent and furious. He beckoned Akira to follow him outside and closed the door behind them.

  
\----------

  
Akira pulled in a lungful of air and held it until it hurt, then let it all out, lifting his hair from his forehead. Sojiro stood with his arms folded, letting the seconds spin out as the nighttime activities of Yongen Jaya went on around them.

  
Sojiro seemed to be waiting for him speak first, but after the week he'd had, Akira easily waited him out, using the time to think instead. When Sojiro finally spoke, his words were clipped short. "I can see now that I've given you too much freedom. If I can't even trust you to lock up after I leave, let alone - "

  
_Aw, fuck._ He really had forgotten to lock the door after he'd let Ann in. He'd remembered every single other night - but not tonight. "Listen, I'm sorry - "

  
Sojiro wasn't done. He continued on as if Akira hadn't spoken. " - let alone trust you to not get drunk _in my shop_ \- "

  
He interrupted again, and this time Sojiro let him, for a moment at least. "I wasn't drinking - "

  
"Lying to me is really _not_ your best move right now." Akira inhaled to answer and Sojiro pinched the bridge of his nose, then cut him off again. His voice was steely. "You're on probation, kid. I thought you were smarter than this."

  
Akira clenched his fists at his sides and waited to see if he was finished. Sojiro shifted his weight from one foot to the other and finally motioned for him to speak.

  
"I'm sorry I forgot the door. I get it every other night - really. I messed up tonight." He paused, testing the waters; Sojiro didn't interrupt him this time. "I didn't know they were going to come over." He paused again as he weighed his options - _how much should I tell him?_ \- then decided to lay at least some of his cards on the table. "Mishima's been having sort of a - a rough time lately."

  
Sojiro's expression remained stony. "Your friend can drink illegally as a minor in his own home." His mouth twitched. "I take back what I said a while ago. Guess he's not such a good influence on you after all."

  
Clearly he would not be dissuaded without further details. Akira knew that for the sake of his Phantom Thief activities, he'd need to smooth things over. After all, if Sojiro, his parole officer, felt so inclined, he could make his life a lot more difficult. An enforced curfew, for one thing, or outright grounding for another. He could be shipped home altogether. Never mind his Thief work; if he were sent home, there would be no way to see Mishima again.

  
Akira just hoped Mishima would understand. He sighed, then leveled with Sojiro. "Remember how Shujin was in the news back in the spring?"

  
"What, that coach? What does that have to do with - "

  
He didn't want to spill any more of Mishima's past than was absolutely necessary, so he held his tongue and gave him a meaningful look, trusting Sojiro to fill in at least some of the blanks.

  
Sojiro's eyes widened almost imperceptibly before he turned away, facing the alleyway as he dug his cigarettes out of his pocket. He busied himself with lighting one and inhaling deeply, still not looking at Akira. "It's not so much the drinking that's the problem. The problem is drinking with all the lights on, downstairs, in the _cafe,_ where my _neighbours can see."_ He turned to face him, eyebrow quirked. "Am I making myself clear?"

  
Akira bowed his head slightly, the picture of contrition. "Yes. Very." Something else seemed to be required. "It won't... happen again?"

  
That was the right answer. Sojiro gave him a curt nod and, though his expression didn't change, Akira knew he'd won him over - he unfolded his arms, then leaned against the alley wall, legs crossed at the ankle as he smoked his cigarette. Akira mirrored his posture, leaning back and watching the smoke catch the warm light from the cafe before meandering upwards toward the stars, barely visible.

  
"Your friend."

  
Akira couldn't decide if he was imagining it or not - there may have been the slightest pause before 'friend,' leaving him to imagine all sorts of implications. He flip flopped first one way, then the other, then decided that he would never be certain of what he'd heard Sojiro say or not say and that he'd better return to the present. "Yes?"

  
Sojiro was still carefully studying the flyers pasted to the wall opposite Leblanc, next to the bathhouse. "Is he going to be alright?"

  
"He's... going through some stuff." Akira grimaced. "His parents knew what was going on, then, and did nothing. So that should... tell you something. I guess." He jammed his hands in his pockets and turned his face the other way, trying to choose his words with care. "We didn't know him back then, though. Ann and I." He summoned every last scrap of his willpower and made his voice smooth and casual. "We're trying to help him with things, tonight."

  
Sojiro inhaled smoke again, then asked gruffly, "Does he need a place to stay?"

  
_I should have guessed you'd say that._ Akira hid the knowing smile that tried to surface when he realized Sojiro was offering up a place to live to yet another high schooler that he barely knew - this time, to one who was sitting drunk in his place of business even as they spoke.

  
Akira turned back to him and gave him a real smile. "That's... that's kind of you. If it's okay with you, I think he'd better stay the night and sober up. Tonight only, I mean. His parents aren't the best but I don't think he's ready to leave or anything."

  
"Kind, nothing," Sojiro scoffed. "I might as well offer upfront before you just go and do it behind my back anyway."

  
"I'm sorry - "

  
Sojiro saved him from specifying which exact transgression he was apologizing for by waving his hand, interrupting him neatly again. "Just stay upstairs, kid. Use your brain, alright?" He stubbed his cigarette out into the pavement, then turned on his heel and ambled back down the street - until a new thought occurred to him and he turned back to 'impart wisdom,' as Akira usually thought of it. He used the exact tone and posture he used when teaching him about making coffee. "Cut him off, okay? He doesn't need any more." He went on to repeat the same advice Morgana had given Akira. "And there's curry in the fridge, if he can eat. Things'll go better if you can get some food in him."

  
"Thanks, Sojiro."

  
He made his way back down the street, headed home, and Akira pushed open the door of Leblanc. This time, he locked the door and flipped the sign, then shut off the lights.

\----------

  
Ann had hooked one of Mishima's arms over her shoulders and waited for Akira to finish locking up so he could take the other; he just shook his head and pulled him into his arms, dead weight though he was, then carried him upstairs. Ann hunted under the countertop for the whiskey bottle and brought it with her before climbing the steps behind him.

  
Ann had kept him from drinking while Akira had been occupied with Sojiro, but he'd had enough time with the bottle beforehand to do a number on himself. His head lolled before he sprawled back onto the bed, his face flushed. Ann pulled off his sneakers, then sat with Akira on the couch, watching Mishima breathe in silence.

  
_What am I supposed to do?_ If he sat next to him on the bed, would that just make Mishima grab at him again? He remembered the panicky, frantic look on his face as he tried to kiss him again and again, then how the tears had rolled down his face while he'd -

  
Akira swallowed around the lump in his throat, not noticing when Ann wrapped her arm around his shoulders.

  
Then Sojiro's advice came back to him and he sat up quickly. If he got some food into Mishima, maybe he'd come around on his own. He felt a little more steady, having something to work on. He turned to Ann and murmured, "Can you keep an eye on him? I want to bring him some curry."

  
She nodded absentmindedly, never taking her eyes from Mishima's prone body.

  
By the time Akira had heated up the curry and brought it upstairs, Mishima was sitting upright, fanning himself with the neck of his t-shirt to cool himself down. His demeanour had changed at some point. The last time he'd spoken, he'd been annoyed that Akira and Ann were talking about him behind his back; then he'd denied that anything was wrong. Now he was in high spirits and seemed to be trying to muddle through a conversation with Ann about something they'd watched on TV at her house. Ann was gamely trying to keep up but when Akira saw her face, he could tell she was as overwhelmed as he was.

  
Mishima passively took the plate when offered and ate automatically, without enthusiasm. But it was a start. Akira couldn't help but think his face looked a little better for having eaten something.

  
He broke the silence at last when Akira stood to take his plate. "You guys look so _serious._ We've got the place to ourselves, right?"

  
The slur was gone from his voice, though his face remained flushed. Akira and Ann glanced at each other, trying to figure out how to proceed.

  
Ann went first. "Mishima. Come on. You know we can't just... pretend."

  
He wasn't going to make it easy. Mishima shrugged and leaned back on his hands, smiling. "Pretend what?"

  
The alcohol had relaxed him, and a cowardly part of Akira wanted to just leave things the way they were. Just put a movie on and make the three of them a coffee, then fall asleep instead of having to keep thinking about what had happened back in the spring. Or about all the ways he'd managed to _remind_ Mishima of what had happened.

  
_You owe it to him._ Akira squared his shoulders and put as much care into his voice as he could. "You know we have something to talk about tonight."

  
Mishima could be stubborn. He stared right back at them, something almost defiant in his posture, but didn't speak.

  
Ann took over. "Mishima. I told him what you told me. About... " She carefully avoided the name. "About when you were on the volleyball team."

  
She'd made him forget to keep silent. "Yeah. I heard." He was still smiling, somehow. "Pretty fucked up, huh?"

  
"Calling what happened fucked up is kind of an understatement," Akira retorted.

  
"No, I meant me."

  
"You're not... come on. Don't say that."

  
He actually laughed, harsh and brittle. "Now you know, right? It's official. Maybe it's a good thing Ann told you. Now you know why you're better off without me."

  
_God._ Akira couldn't stand it. He sat beside him on the bed and grasped him in a fierce hug. Mishima responded and wrapped his arms around his waist, and, to Akira's relief, didn't try to make any further advances. Ann joined them and slung her arm around Mishima from the other side.

  
"We're _not._ We're not better off without you," she murmured into his shoulder.

  
He leaned against Akira, sighing. "Yeah, well. Guess I understand if, like. If you guys are grossed out."

  
_"We're not,"_ she repeated. "Jesus, Mishima, _none_ of that was your fault. Not - not _him,_ not what _he_ did to you. And not Shiho. She doesn't blame you, okay?"

  
He flopped backwards onto his back. He kept his eyes closed to keep from having to meet theirs. "She's so nice."

  
Akira grabbed his hand and squeezed it, hard. "Yeah." He stared at the dark circles under Mishima's eyes. At how thin he looked in his t-shirt. "I just. I just wish you'd felt like you could tell me."

  
Mishima opened his mouth to speak, but Akira couldn't stop himself. The words tumbled out of him. "This whole week - why would you shut us out? You don't have to do it alone. I would have talked to you about - about _anything."_ He was ashamed to realize that he was making it sound like he was the only one feeling hurt. As if it was all about him. But Mishima was already answering him.

  
"I guess this week wasn't really about... that. Only."

  
Ann stirred and looked at Akira apologetically. "Yeah. There was more that I didn't get a chance to tell you."

  
_What else could there be... ?_

  
But Mishima was shaking his head. "I'll do it. Okay?" He opened his eyes again, peering up at Ann until she nodded. He rolled onto his side to face Akira more fully.

  
If he hadn't just spent the evening with him, Akira might have been fooled. Mishima looked more relaxed than he had for the entire last week; his eyes were half closed, and he almost looked content. _That has to just be the alcohol._

  
But his voice matched. Maybe he really was feeling better. His expression softened, and Akira couldn't help but smile back; it was infectious. "Akira. You've really... Like. If it weren't for you, I'd - " He laughed, but it was closer to a real laugh this time. "I suck at this."

  
"There's no rush. We've got all night."

  
"I guess what I mean is." He shut his eyes tight. "I, um. I love you?"

  
Akira's breath caught in his throat. For something so unexpected, his answer came surprisingly quickly. It felt right, so he said it. "I love you too."

  
"So that's why I have to do the right thing, and - " Mishima's eyes went wide and he shot up to a sitting position, then clutched his head. " - ugh - you what?"

  
Akira shrank back a little as he realized both Ann and Mishima were staring at him, aghast. "Wh-what?"

  
"Did you say... that? Did you just say what I think you said?" Mishima was outright gaping at him.

  
Akira felt defensive under their combined stares. "What, you can love me but I can't love you?"

  
He realized Ann was looking away now, at the floor, but before Akira could wonder why, Mishima had taken his attention again. "No, it's just. How, though? After all that stuff Ann just told you?"

  
The events of that night had worn away his last nerve. Akira let out a groan of frustration and raised his voice without realizing. _"Stop it."_ He realized how he sounded and immediately tried to take it back, lowering his voice again and taking Mishima's hand. "I'm sorry. I just mean... Ugh. How can you still think that? That Ann and I don't like you, or something?"

  
Mishima blinked, trying to gather himself after the abrupt shift in tone. "Well. 'Like' isn't 'love.'"

  
"Well, no, but." His brain was still struggling to catch up to everything that had happened, and he knew what would give him a little more time to figure things out. Akira gave up on finding the words he needed to say and leaned forward to kiss him.

  
_I hope this is right._

  
But Mishima didn't take it as an invitation to touch him this time. Akira kissed him softly, thoroughly, only pulling away when he felt something damp on his face.

  
"Sorry," Mishima looked away, but not before Akira could see how he was feeling.

  
"Quit apologizing." Akira hooked his arm around him and pulled him down to the mattress with him, and they stretched out on their sides, still holding hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, see? That's almost a happy tone to end this update with!


	17. "Feeling better?" Old shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we'll go for Friday updates from now on (more or less.)

Akira and Mishima lay together in silence until Akira couldn't take it anymore. He had never felt so conflicted in his life. He decided to focus on the positive side first.

  
He pulled Mishima's shoulder gently until his back was pressed comfortably against his chest. "I've never said that before."

  
Mishima scrubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand and let out a watery laugh. "Me neither. Well, not before tonight, anyway."

  
_Does that mean he said it to Ann too?_

  
But Mishima continued on before he could ask. "It doesn't feel like it really happened, somehow."

  
"That just means I gotta say it more. IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou - "

  
Mishima squirmed against him, laughing again, and it sounded more genuine this time. "I didn't know you were so _mushy."_

  
"Heh. I guess I am. Kind of." He smoothed his palm over Mishima's chest through his t-shirt. "You know. I didn't really think about it before now, but I could have said it to you first. I've loved you for a while now." The words felt both foreign and too honest in his mouth; it took a lot to embarrass him but, even so, he could feel his face heating up. For once he was the one who was relieved that his face was hidden.

  
Mishima sniffled a little. "That's nice."

  
"What?! What do you mean, 'that's nice'?!" Akira asked in mock outrage.

  
He was laughing again. "No, I mean it really _is_ nice, geeze - " From over his shoulder, Akira could see him start to smile. "I think I just used up all my words today, that's all."

  
_Here we go._ It was tempting to gloss over what they'd left mostly unspoken, but Akira made himself bring it up. "Yeah. Sounds like you've had a rough night. Rough _week."_

  
Mishima fell silent.

  
Akira resolved to show more patience this time around and didn't speak until he was certain his voice would convey only what he wanted it to. "Can we talk about it? Please?"

  
"I guess, um. Guess we'd better." He sighed. "Ann told you everything?"

  
"I don't know. She told me... " Akira's thoughts hit a wall. Mishima had looked so freaked out, so clearly overwhelmed, for the entire previous week that he didn't want to put what Ann had told him into words. Now Mishima had finally reached some sort of fragile equilibrium, to the point that he was willing to talk, at least, and one poorly chosen phrase might ruin it all over again. He trailed off.

  
Mishima squeezed Akira's hand, as if gathering his strength. "She told you about my plan to save Suzui?"

  
"Y-yeah, and. Um. How he... touched you. In his office." He watched Mishima nod fiercely, just once.

  
"Did she tell you about... me?"

  
"What about you?"

  
"How I. Ugh. How I... " He fell silent again, and this time Akira gave him time without speaking. Mishima surprised him; instead of finishing his sentence, he sat up abruptly and turned around until his arm was stretched across Akira, propping himself up on the mattress behind him. He lowered his face to his and kissed him again.

  
There was none of the frantic need from before. Mishima moved his mouth against his, gentle and slow, and Akira felt something loosen in his chest.

  
It seemed to have given Mishima some courage. He stopped kissing him and draped himself over Akira in a sort of hug, burying his face into his shoulder. Akira listened to him breathe shallowly in his ear until he was finally able to whisper, "I think I wanted it."

  
"Mishima - no - "

  
But he was nodding against him.

  
Akira wrapped his arms around him and turned his head just enough to kiss his neck. "The way Ann told it to me, you were trying to draw his attention to, um. Make things easier for Suzui. Because you had a crush on her."

  
"You don't - you don't know what I'm like. I kept - I kept like, _fantasizing_ about it, making him call me into his office again so he would - " He broke off, nearly hyperventilating in Akira's ear.

  
"You were just... _thinking_. After what happened, it's no wonder it was on your mind. Like - thoughts are just thoughts, Mishima." _Wow, what an insightful thing to say. I'm sure that helped a ton._ Akira scrunched his face, trying to come up with the right words.

  
Mishima drew away from him and sat on the edge of the bed, hunched over with his elbows propped on his thighs. "You don't _get_ it."

  
"I'm sorry."

  
Mishima didn't speak.

  
"Help me understand, then."

  
He let out a long, shuddering breath. His brows were drawn together and he spoke to Akira over his shoulder, still not looking at him. "So like. This wasn't something I thought of while he had me in his office."

  
Mishima straightened and turned fully away from him, addressing the empty room. "But after, I thought of him in class. I thought of him on the train. I thought of him instead of sleeping."

  
"Sure, but - "

  
He wasn't done. "It felt... terrifying. But also like I couldn't do anything to avoid it, so I should just get it over with. Like... as if you were drowning in the ocean, and you finally stopped trying to swim."

  
Akira gave him time.

  
"And. And." He drew up his knees and hugged them to himself. "I didn't tell Ann this, okay? It's too horrible."

  
Akira reached out and rubbed his back, but he shied away from his touch.

  
"I liked it."

  
"You liked what? You... do you mean you got turned on when he touched you... ?"

  
"No!" Mishima snapped. "No, I mean, not that. I know I didn't... like that, at least. I meant the thoughts."

  
"So you would... " Akira felt completely out of his depth.

  
"Yeah. I kept... " His shoulders hunched up to his ears as he forced himself to make it clear. "Kept thinking about him ch-choking me. _Fucking_ me. If I made it happen, I could help Suzui, and if he did that to me, it wouldn't even be my fault, you know? So I thought about it, I kept _picturing_ it, and then I'd get... "

  
"But that's... that's not your fault either."

  
"How could it not be? I could've thought about anything. Anything else. But instead I'd be, I'd be sitting in class wondering if he'd choose that day to do it. I'd, like, _strategize_ new ways to make him mad and get him to call me into his office again." He mumbled into his knees. "I just wanted to get it over with so I could start thinking about something else."

  
Akira sat up and pulled him back down to lay against him, and this time Mishima let him. Akira was silent for a long moment as his mind worked furiously, trying to make sense of what he was hearing. "Hey. What if it was just two thoughts mixed up together?"

  
"I don't get what you mean."

  
"I don't... know anything about this. But. I've had weird thoughts too."

  
Mishima stiffened against him, then tried to look back at him over his shoulder. "What... ?"

  
"Not like this. More like... have you been way up in the mountains before?"

  
Mishima shook his head.

  
"Okay. On a tall building with a balcony? Or the roof?"

  
"Well, sure. This is Tokyo."

  
"Have you ever walked up close to the edge and just... looked down, and thought about what it would be like to - "

  
"Jump?"

  
"Yeah. Only you don't _really_ want to. It's not about suicide. It's just this weird little thought that doesn't go away right away. And maybe you stay a bit further away from the edge just in case."

  
Mishima seemed to be deep in thought.

  
"Could it be like that? Going to school and staying on the team after he touched you like that could be like... being stuck out on the edge. Day after day. Without any way to stop thinking about it. To move away from the edge."

  
"But I _made_ myself think about it, and it made me... "

  
"I bet it felt like that. Like it was you doing it. But maybe your brain was just, like. Trying to get it over with, like you said. Or psyching you up to do it so you could get it over with, maybe."

  
Mishima shuddered against him. "Yeah. Exactly. I wanted it."

  
Akira held him a little closer. "I think what you wanted was to help Suzui. And your brain mixed that up with... what he did to you. And, like. Ann told me that you said you felt like the more you thought about it, the more likely it would be to happen. As if you could make it happen just by picturing it over and over again. So you thought about it to help your friend."

  
Mishima nodded without speaking.

  
"So... does that sound right? It didn't happen to me, I wasn't _there,_ but... "

  
Mishima was deep in thought again.

  
"Another thing. _You_ keep saying 'get it over with', too. Does that make it sound like something you were looking forward to?"

  
" ...I guess not."

  
"So then... ?"

  
Mishima rubbed his entire face with his palm, up and down, then let out a harsh sigh. "I'm so... sick of this."

  
"Sorry. We can stop."

  
"No, I mean - " He sat up again, and Akira realized it was just nervous energy; it was hard for him to stay still. "I don't mean talking about it. It's helping. I think. It feels awful while I'm doing it but better when it's done. I guess."

  
"Then you're sick of - "

  
"Sick of this stupid old garbage running my life. Like. It's always in the background." Mishima scowled, though Akira could tell it wasn't directed at him. "Remember when I... ran away from you? You tried to kiss me and I literally _ran away?"_

  
Akira sat up to join him. Mishima's eyes were wide again, but this time it wasn't from panic; he was angry. "Sure, but. I really could've handled that better. I don't think I ever even said that it was a date until after it was over."

  
"I knew it was. I wanted it to be one. I liked you. But I couldn't trust myself to, to know what I wanted. Because what I want is bad." His voice became louder, the words spilling out faster. "If I weren't so fucked up I could just _be happy._ Like. Do you know why... when I come over here on the weekends, do you know why I'm so - you call it 'pent up.' Do you know why I'm like that?"

  
Akira struggled to think of something to make him smile, laugh, roll his eyes at him; anything to take the self-loathing out of his voice. "Is it because you miss my big, beautiful - smile?" He tried for a lecherous grin.

  
It didn't work. Mishima had to get it off his chest. "I'm like that because I don't - I don't do anything between the weekends. Most of the time."

  
"I don't know what you mean."

  
"I don't - I don't _touch_ myself, because if I did, then I might... might think about that same old stuff, that used to make me... So I don't do that anymore. Usually, anyway. If I wait until I see you or Ann then it's someone else making me feel that way, for sure, so then it's okay."

  
"Shit. That's... That really sucks." _'That really sucks'? God. Try harder._ "Have you been thinking about this old stuff all this time? All the time that we've been... dating, I guess?"

  
Mishima was a little calmer. His eyebrows were still drawn together but his voice had returned to a more normal volume again. "Sort of. It's background noise now, instead of being everything I thought about like back in April." He seemed to have used up his ability to look Akira in the eye again and hid his face behind his shoulder. "I really kinda... lost it today. Sorry I just charged in here and took your whiskey." His eyebrows shot up as he remembered. "Did I get you in trouble with the owner?"

  
"Maybe a little. I talked him down." Akira beamed at him. "He must like you or something. He asked if you needed a place to stay. Told me I'd better feed you, too." _So did Morgana_ was on the tip of his tongue, but he managed to stop himself just in time.

  
_"Really?_ Why would he say that?" The shock on his face had wiped away the anxious look he'd been wearing, at least.

  
"I think he likes to take in strays."

  
"Aw, don't talk about yourself like that," Mishima joked, and in that moment he looked so much better that Akira laughed to see it more than he did at what Mishima had said.

  
\----------

  
Mishima excused himself to use the washroom downstairs and found Ann sitting on the bottom step, her cell phone lighting the underside of her face; she'd left the cafe lights off. "Oh, there you are."

  
"Here I am." She scanned his face and seemed to be relieved by what she saw. She smiled, looking a little eerie in the dim light. "Feeling better?"

  
He sat on the step above hers so he could lean his back against the side wall of the stairwell and stretch out his legs. He nodded quickly - too quickly. He clutched his head. "Yes. No. Mostly."

  
She rummaged in her bag until she'd come up with two aspirin, then closed his hand over them. "You're gonna want some water too. Trust me on this one." She made an exaggerated grimace, rolling her eyes to make him laugh.

  
"Thanks. So - why'd you leave? Aren't you gonna stay the night with us?"

  
She was still smiling, though she looked away before he could get a good look at her face. "You boys needed a bit of privacy." She raised her eyebrows at him, glancing up at him for only a moment before looking away again. "I couldn't hear the details, but. Wasn't that easier one on one? I thought if I stayed, you might feel like we were ganging up on you or something."

  
He took her hand, the one not holding her cell phone, and squeezed her fingers. "You're really... you think of everything, Ann." He bumped his knee against her. "I want to say thank you. I feel - I feel so much better. Like, maybe everything's not all, like, fixed for me - I'm still kinda - " He trailed off until she nodded up at him. " - but. You're a really good listener. So. Thanks."

  
Ann blinked rapidly at him in the low light and gave him another smile, this one looking a little grim around the corners. She looked away again. "I'm glad I could help."

  
He leaned against her shoulder. "Can I take you out next week? Movies or something?"

  
She squeezed his fingers back, then withdrew her hand. "Yeah. Sounds fun."

  
He used the washroom and took the aspirin with water from the faucet, cupped in his hands; when he came out he invited her back up to Akira's room, but she told him she had some agency emails to answer and that she'd join them when she was done.

  
\----------

  
When Mishima got back, Akira was looking at his own phone; he put it away as he approached, then gave him an appraising look until he ducked his head. "You look a _lot_ better."

  
"Mm. I was just telling Ann that I feel better, too."

  
_Oh, right..._ "Uh, where'd she go? I kind of. Forgot she was here."

  
Mishima snorted. "Some host you are." He sat on the edge of the bed. "She's sending model emails, apparently."

  
"Aw. She can do that anytime." But it was easy enough to put Ann out of his mind; he'd thought of another thing he needed to address with Mishima while he'd been out of the room. "C'mere." Akira pulled him under the covers, his chest pressed to his back once more. "So. Before we fall asleep, I have to ask you about one more thing."

  
Mishima sighed, resigned. "Guess I knew we weren't done."

  
"What was the deal with, um. " He tried to come up with the nicest way to put it. "When you were kissing me, before, and then you started touching me, you were... It was like you were making yourself do something you didn't really want to do. I think."

  
He seemed to be thinking it over.

  
"Ann told me you suggested something like that to her, too, even though you'd just... "

  
"Freaked out? Cried all over her? Yeah, I did." Mishima's voice was bitter again.

  
"Yeah, and you were crying when... " Akira swallowed, hard. He wished he could banish the memory of what he'd looked like, but it kept returning. "So, like. Tell me what's going on with you. Help me understand." He raised his hand from Mishima's chest and placed it in his hair, stroking it gently.

  
Mishima spoke haltingly, as if he was figuring things out as he spoke. "I think I just wanted... some of what we had before to come back. Me and Ann, and me and you. I wanted to make her happy. She looked so sad after I told her all that old shit about me. And it's something I'm good at. Maybe. It. It makes me feel useful, at least."

  
"You don't - you don't have to be _useful,_ Mishima - " Akira stammered. "It's not about - Ann and I don't like you because you're _useful."_

  
He shrugged against him. "Yeah, well. I don't make sense. And, like. I went to Ann's to break things off. I was going to do the same with you, next. So it was stupid of me to try to do that for her, and you. It makes even less sense. I think I just wanted to turn off my brain."

  
Akira's breath caught in his throat. "Why would you - you told me you _love_ me today. Why do you want to end things now?" He was taken aback; he couldn't even begin to predict what would come out of Mishima's mouth next.

  
"I don't anymore. Want to end things, I mean."

  
"Then - "

  
He was suddenly angry all over again, his voice sharp. "What was I _supposed_ to think, Akira? You and Ann have said over and over and over that we're friends. Just friends. Close friends, but friends. You both said we're not being romantic, we're not dating, we're not boyfriend or girlfriend. So if I _fall in love,_ how does that not fuck everything up? It changes things. It means I want something neither of you want. Like, I am _done_ with being a coward and just... pretending. Pretending things are okay when they're not. I couldn't just go on sleeping with you, either of you, and keep things to myself. So I knew I had to - to call things off."

  
Akira ruffled his hair as Mishima tried to get his breathing under control. "I guess I get why you haven't been sleeping much, this last week."

  
Mishima gave a curt nod but was silent.

  
"I'm sorry you went through all that. Are going through all that. I haven't been thinking about... about our status or whatever as much as I should've been. Like, Ann and I knew what we wanted from each other, but... that doesn't have to apply to you, you know? I. I didn't really know it until you said it, but. I love you. I do."

  
Mishima rolled over and kissed him.

  
The angle was awkward with both of them laying on their sides, so Akira settled onto his back and pulled Mishima with him until he was propped on his elbows and knees above him, his chest pressed to his. Akira let him drive; Mishima kissed him slowly, gently, until Akira felt his shoulders finally relax under his hands. He ran his fingers down to his hips and left them there.

  
Mishima had picked up the pace and slipped his tongue between Akira's lips. He let him, even as he wondered if it was the right thing to do. Mishima kissed him more forcefully until he was panting, driving his lips against his.

  
Akira pulled his face away so that he could study his expression. His eyes were half closed, and he looked much more at peace than he had before, but... The way he had looked, tears running down his face with his cock in his mouth, sprang to mind unbidden and he winced.

  
"What? What is it?" Mishima wore an almost sleepy expression, save for his panting.

  
"Nothing, but - " Akira closed his eyes and shook his head. "I don't want you to feel like you did before. Earlier tonight, I mean."

  
"I don't. I don't think so, anyway. That was different." He tried to go back to kissing Akira but Akira turned his face away.

  
"Can we just... " His eyes lit up. "I know. Here, get up for a sec."

  
Mishima grumbled a little, wanting to keep kissing him, but complied. They sat upright next to each other until Akira patted the bed again. "Take off your shirt, and then lay on your stomach."

  
He gave him such an exaggerated side-eye expression that Akira had to laugh.

  
"Just do it."

  
"I really don't get what you're... " But he shrugged his t-shirt over his head and lay facedown, still in his khakis and socks.

  
Mishima let out a little noise of surprise as Akira sat lightly on top of his thighs and started rubbing his back, digging his thumbs into his muscles. "Why do you think I need a backrub?"

  
"Feels like you need one to me. You're like one big knot."

  
"It does... feel kinda good. I guess." His breathing evened out, becoming deep and steady.

  
"I owe you one, right? You gave me one a few visits ago."

  
Mishima laughed, and Akira felt it through the palms of his hands as he smoothed them along his shoulderblades. "I think I just wanted an excuse to feel you up."

  
"Guess you're onto _me,_ then."

  
He laughed again, finally relaxed, and Akira smiled to hear it. He worked his way down until he'd reached his lower back and hips, and found more tension there. "You've had such a shitty week. I just... I just want to give you a break."

  
Something about what his thumbs were doing seemed to be just the thing. Mishima opened his mouth to answer but a soft sigh was all that came out.

  
"You say something?" There was no way he could let such an opportunity go by.

  
"Mmnh... No."

  
Akira grinned and just redoubled his efforts, trying to see if he could find the same spot.

  
Mishima's breathing had picked up and, if Akira wasn't imagining things, his hips had just twitched, raising his ass up a tiny fraction in front of Akira's thighs.

  
Akira immediately moved his hands all the way back up to the tops of his shoulders and massaged him there until Mishima let out the tiniest noise of protest. "Hmm?"

  
His voice was breathy and indistinct. "Hhh... I think. I think my lower back is still sore."

  
Akira obeyed and worked his hands back down to the small of his back, smoothing away the tension with his thumbs. He grinned again when Mishima's hips responded, this time outright arching his back until his ass was stopped by Akira's crotch as he leaned over him. It was quiet, but he could swear that he heard Mishima give out a little whimper. "So, where... where do you need attention?"

  
" ...mmn... "

  
"Sorry? I didn't hear you."

  
His voice was nearly inaudible, muffled by the bed. "Akiraaa... " he whined.

  
Akira smoothed his palms lower and lower until he was gripping his hips, slipping his fingertips below the waist of his khakis. He kept working at the muscles of his lower back with his thumbs, dragging out the game as long as he could. "Yes?"

  
Mishima was panting, though his voice was only a whisper. "Why do you have to _tease_ me - " He arched his back again, this time trying to grind his ass against Akira's crotch; when he looked down, Akira was surprised to find he was almost fully hard. He let out a satisfied grunt as he gave Mishima what he wanted and bore down on him, showing him that he felt the same way. When he finally slid one of his hands the rest of the way into his pants and touched him at last, Mishima cried out and bucked his hips, pressing his ass up against Akira's cock.

  
"Hey."

  
He might not have heard him; he was panting loudly enough, waiting to see what Akira would do next.

  
"Mishima. Hey."

  
"Huh... ?"

  
"I want to try something. Can you sit up?" He swung his leg over Mishima's and sat with his back against the wall, giving him room.

  
Mishima knelt upright, quickly, obviously expecting Akira to make a move on him; his eyes kept jumping from Akira's face to his lap, where his cock was clearly outlined against his pantleg. When Akira didn't make a move he made a face, his eyebrows drawn down. "You really _are_ teasing me."

  
"Nuh uh. Promise. Now take off your pants."

  
"You sure are _bossy - "_ But he was smiling as he started unzipping his fly. "What about you, though?"

  
"You just wanna ogle me."

  
"Yup. You caught me," Mishima deadpanned. But he left his khakis where they were until Akira started unzipping his own pants. Mishima did as he asked, but only that; soon he was sitting on his feet on the bed, still wearing his underwear.

  
Akira almost wavered from his plan as he gave him a good long look - his dark eyes, half closed as he just looked back at him through his lashes. His smooth, pale skin. His slim waist. His tented briefs, covering him but hiding nothing. "You look... _so_ good."

  
His mouth quirked, as if he wanted to say something to the contrary; he settled for turning his face away. But Akira had already gotten to watch the blush spread across his face and ears. "Yeah, well. I'd say the same to you, but - but you still have all of your clothes on!"

  
"Alright, alright - " Akira wriggled out of his pants, then pulled his t-shirt over his head, chucking them both somewhere on the floor. He stretched his legs out in front of him, still in his socks and boxers. _I bet he's had enough staring for today, anyway._ He leaned his back up against the wall, then indicated the spot next to him. "I have an idea. It might help you."

  
Mishima looked doubtful, but joined him quickly enough. "Just tell me already."

  
Akira hooked his arm around him and pulled him close, until Mishima's head was resting on his chest; he knew that he wouldn't be able to tell if he was looking at him or not this way. "Okay. So. This time, you're not allowed to touch me. And I'm not allowed to touch you."

  
He snorted. "You lost already. You're touching me right now."

  
"I meant your junk, smartass."

  
"Well that doesn't sound fun at _all."_

  
"Maybe I can make it a little easier for you." Akira made sure that he was watching and slowly stroked himself through his boxers, pressing his palm to the head through the thin fabric. He was more excited than he'd realized; it was hard to stop.

  
It had the effect he was hoping for. He could only see the top of Mishima's head but he clearly heard his breath catch as he watched. He shifted a little against him and Akira caught another look at his tented briefs, stretched tighter than ever.

  
"Your turn."

  
Mishima huffed against him. "I don't want to do _that_ when I'm here with you. Geeze. That's something you do when you're alone."

  
"You _don't,_ though. That's what you said."

  
"So? It's, it's gross anyway. If I've got you right here I'd rather - " He reached for Akira, who caught his wrist just in time.

  
Akira put his hand back neatly into his lap, then started to play with Mishima's hair. He took big handfuls and tugged gently here and there, eventually pulling hard enough to make him tip his face back. He was breathing harder now, his face flushed and his eyes closed tight.

  
Akira lowered his face to his and murmured into his ear, "D'you think it's gross when I touch myself in front of you?"

  
"N-no, I didn't mean that - "

  
"Then it's not gross for you to do that."

  
"Okay, but - why... ?"

  
Now that he had to explain it, Akira wasn't so sure it'd help; and it meant he'd have to bring up something Mishima would probably rather not talk about further. But he had to try it. "Well, sorry to make you talk about it again. But. You said you usually don't touch yourself when you're between visiting me or Ann, because it might make you remember... the things you used to think about. Is that right?"

  
Mishima's shoulders stiffened against him. "Yeah."

  
"So let's give you something new to think about."

  
"That's - it's not like that. It doesn't work that way."

  
"Tell me, then."

  
He was silent for a long moment, thinking. "It's like... I can start out picturing you or Ann. Or. You know. Random stuff. But if I let myself get into it and stop concentrating, the old shit just comes back. I start picturing... that. What I was picturing all the time back in April. Him. There's been a few times when I - when I could bring myself back out of it and, you know. Finish. But mostly I just... don't."

  
Akira finally pulled down the waistband of his boxers and let his cock spring free; it flopped back against his belly until he stroked it a few times, long and slow. He felt Mishima's breath puff against his chest as he watched with rapt attention. "Maybe I'm just flattering myself, but. Looking at me might help bring you back to the present. Make you remember where you are." He brought his lips down to his ear again. "And... I want to watch you come. I don't usually get to see it." He grinned, satisfied, as Mishima shivered against him.

  
Slowly, tentatively, Mishima's hand crept to his own hip. He rested it there for a moment, then finally trailed his fingertips over the head of his cock through the fabric of his briefs. Akira watched it twitch and let out a pleased sigh.

  
Mishima immediately pulled away from him, drawing his knees to his chest and hiding his face. "Why do you have to _look - "_ he groaned.

  
"It's okay if you're just, you know. Not in the mood." Mishima stretched out his legs again and Akira stole another glance at the way his briefs hugged his cock as he rested his head back on Akira's chest. _Not much chance of that._ "Maybe I should just continue on without you?" He hooked his thumb into the waistband of his boxers and pulled them down a few more inches until his balls were free, then circled the base of his cock with his thumb and index finger, pumping himself up until the head drooled a fat bead of precum. He risked looking at Mishima out of the corner of his eye and almost laughed out loud to see him - he wasn't going to need any more convincing. He'd already pulled himself free of his briefs and was stroking himself quickly, his eyes glued to Akira all the while.

  
"That's better," Akira murmured in his ear. He plunged his fingers into Mishima's hair again, tugging hard. If anything, Mishima's hand sped up. He finally yanked his hair hard enough to make his head snap back and Mishima let out a long, shaky moan.

  
Something coiled in his lower belly at the sound of Mishima's voice, and Akira squeezed himself again, hard. But he made himself wait. He stared hungrily at Mishima's hand, at the way his fingers slid up and over the head of his cock, and silently cheered him on.

  
But Mishima's fingers slowed, then stilled, and he dropped his hand back down to his side.

  
Akira watched him in silence, then rubbed his shoulder. "Old shit?"

  
"Old shit."

  
"We don't have to. I just thought it would sort of... give you something else to think of. When you're by yourself, I mean."

  
Mishima huffed again. "It almost worked. I was close."

  
"I could tell." He sighed happily next to his ear. "That was really hot."

  
Mishima turned his face away for a moment, thinking, then settled back against Akira's chest. "You're just trying to make me feel better."

  
"Nuh uh. Watching you really, uh. Really gets me going."

  
Mishima glanced down at Akira's lap, just inches away, and confirmed it for himself. "I guess - I guess I can see that, but I don't understand what you get out of it."

  
He wasn't sure if it would help, but he had thought of something else he could try. Akira half coaxed, half dragged Mishima into a seated position between his legs until his back was resting fully against his chest; when he was settled in, he could press his thighs to his hips and wrap both arms around him. Mishima laid his head back against his chest, and when Akira peered down at him, he could see how anxious he looked all over again. He closed his eyes and kissed Mishima's neck, softly, until he heard his breathing even out again. "We don't have to," he repeated.

  
Mishima swallowed. "I. Maybe I should just try again."

  
_Attaboy_. "Do it. Show me whatcha got."

  
But the way he touched himself was tentative again; his heart wasn't in it. Akira decided to try his plan. He plunged both hands into Mishima's hair, tugging it into a wild mess until he could hear his breathing pick up again. He lowered his voice and spoke what came to mind without knowing what it was going to be until he'd said it. "You're so... you make me so _hard._ When I see you in class you make me want to just, just... ungh. You... "

  
_Uh, not my most eloquent speech._ But he could see Mishima's hand begin to move a little more purposefully.

  
"You... you think about me in class?"

  
He left one hand in his hair to pull on it every now and then and wrapped the other around Mishima's upper arms and chest, pinning him tightly. He whispered into his ear. "Hell yeah, I do. You're going to get me into trouble one of these days." He brought his hips forward just enough to press his erection against the small of Mishima's back, as if for punctuation.

  
His plan was working. He went back to pulling his hair more forcefully and smiled as Mishima's hand sped up.

  
"What, um. What do you think about?"

  
"Well. When I'm in class I try _not_ to think too hard about you, you know? But when I'm here, laying in my bed... "

  
Akira brought his mouth even closer until he was brushing the edge of Mishima's ear with his lips with every word. "I like to think of that face you make. When I've got you under me and your cock's in my hand. When I've got you... got you making those sounds you make. When I've - when I've filled you up with my cock, and I'm just - just _slamming_ into you - "

  
He pulled his hair until his head was tipped back, all the way back, resting on Akira's shoulder. "Yeah, _that_ face," he said, satisfied with his handiwork.

  
"Mmn - " Mishima's face was flushed, his lips pressed into a thin line, as he worked his hand up and down.

  
But he needed one last push to get him over the edge. Akira pulled him tight to his chest, then whispered into his ear. "Do you like it when I press you into the mattress?"

  
"Yeah..." He panted as his hand picked up speed.

  
"When you can't move a muscle and you just have to... take what I give you?"

  
His voice was nearly inaudible and cut out halfway, leaving only a harsh gasp shaped like a word. _"Y..."_

  
Akira murmured encouragement under his breath. "Yeah - _yeah_ \- come on - come for me - "

  
But he couldn't. Akira watched frustration creep into his expression. Before Mishima could give up again, and before Akira could think twice about it, he gripped his hair roughly and tilted his head to the side. Then he lowered his mouth to where Mishima's shoulder met his neck and bit him, hard.

  
His intuition had been correct. He opened his eyes again just in time to see Mishima's back arch, thrashing his hips up as he fucked his hand. He came silently, or nearly so; he let out rough, broken gasps and a single high pitched whimper in the back of his throat as his cock shot pulses of thick cum up his chest and across Akira's forearm, still wrapped around him. Akira was actually louder - he hadn't come himself but he let out a long, satisfied groan just to see the effect he'd had on Mishima. He'd never had such a good view of him in this state, and he knew he'd never forget it.

  
It took Mishima a long time to come back down. His hips still thrust aimlessly now and then, and long after Akira had thought he was finished, his cock flexed and let out another spurt of cum.

  
_"Fuuuck,_ Mishima," Akira breathed. He felt almost giddy, as if it had been him. "You... _damn."_

  
Mishima had his eyes closed tightly, breathing hard; as Akira watched him, he raised his clean hand from where it had been clutching the sheets and unclenched his stiff fingers with an effort. He didn't answer.

  
Akira kissed the bite mark he'd left and removed his sticky forearm from Mishima's chest. "You okay?"

  
Mishima nodded, once, but didn't move right away. When he finally opened his eyes, he looked down at himself and made an expression of disgust."Ugh."

  
"'Ugh'? No way. That's - that's impressive." Akira laughed, still feeling lightheaded, as if Mishima's state had rubbed off on him. "I think I'm starting to like what Ann likes." He stared appreciatively at the thick streaks of cum Mishima had left across his own chest.

  
Mishima let out a shaky little laugh and sat up carefully, making sure he didn't set his hand down on Akira's sheets. Akira found his box of tissues and gave him a handful, then had to give him a few more when those were used up. "You know. Porn stars have to take supplements to get that kind of, um. Volume," Akira said.

  
Mishima finally turned around to face him, clean and looking more like his old self again as he settled in at his side once more. "I wouldn't know. I don't watch it."

  
"That was before. Maybe you should give it another try. Replace that old shit with new stuff to think about. Right?"

  
Mishima nodded, but he wasn't really listening. His eyes were trained on Akira's cock. He was already moistening his lips and reaching for him before Akira caught on, and he was just barely able to angle his hips away before Mishima touched him. "Not today."

  
"But you're - "

  
"Yeah, well." Akira softened his voice. "Don't you remember what happened last time?"

  
"That was different - "

  
"You say that, but." He pulled Mishima back to his side and hoped he'd understand. _"I_ keep remembering last time. Earlier tonight. I don't want to see you like that... ever again."

  
"Then let me show you that it'll be different."

  
"Mishima." He ruffled his hair, trying to take some of the sting out of his words. "Seeing you crying kinda made me lose my taste for it. Is what I'm getting at."

  
Mishima sighed and turned away.

  
Akira couldn't tell if he'd hurt his feelings or if he was just thinking. He tried to make his voice light, cheerful. "Just for tonight. You're not allowed to touch me and I'm not allowed to touch you, remember?"

  
He turned back and started smiling, to Akira's relief. "I think you cheated, though."

  
"Who, me?" He placed a hand on his chest, all innocence.

  
"Agggh, you've still got my - " Mishima laughed and turned red. He grabbed more tissues and wiped down Akira's forearm.

  
"Thanks." Akira settled back against the wall, Mishima next to him again. They both stared down at Akira's lap; despite not touching himself for all the time it took for Mishima to come, he was as hard as ever from the view he'd had of it. "You, uh. Want to watch me?" He started stroking himself lazily, and couldn't help but swallow a moan as he finally allowed himself some attention.

  
Mishima didn't answer; the way he was following his hand with his eyes was answer enough. He was rubbing the mark Akira had left on his neck absentmindedly as he watched.

  
Akira stopped. "Hey, I'm sorry if I hurt - well, I guess it definitely hurt." He grimaced. "I should have asked first. Ahead of time or something."

  
Mishima was already shaking his head. "If Ann can take it, so can I." He offered up a funny little smile that Akira found difficult to decipher, then touched the mark again. "Sometimes I think you know what I like better than I do."

  
"You do, then? Like that?"

  
Mishima nodded, and his smile turned blissful. He closed his eyes. "I think I _really_ like that." He opened his eyes again. "I guess it kind of freaked me out when I saw you do that to Ann last time, but. It looked worse than it felt." He had to look away, embarrassed to say it. "I don't think I would have - finished - if you hadn't."

  
Encouraged, Akira went back to stroking himself. "Good, then. I want you to... if you keep thinking about old... shit, then... " He couldn't keep up any semblance of conversation for a moment longer and came in less than a minute. He gave himself long, slow pulls, holding his breath as his balls pulled tight; his mind went blank and he finally let out his breath, studying his sticky hand.

  
Mishima was staring intently. "I see what you mean."

  
His mind was still scattered. "Huh?"

  
"That was really... Mmm."

  
Akira laughed as he cleaned himself up. "'Mmm' is a compliment, I guess?"

  
Mishima automatically reached for Akira's half-hard cock, but this time he stopped himself. "You still want to - next time, right? With me? You haven't... changed your mind?"

  
His orgasm had left him clumsy and though he meant to only wrap his arm around Mishima's shoulders, Akira instead pulled him right on top of himself and tipped over until the two of them were sprawled back on the bed, Mishima's hips twisted away as he tried not to knee him; Akira had nowhere to stretch out to and his head thudded into the wall at the head of the bed. "Aw f- "

  
Mishima tried to avoid faceplanting into Akira's belly, outright laughing at him as Akira struggled to sit up under him.

  
"Don't _laugh - "_

  
He scooted back until Akira could right himself, then hugged his knees to his chest. But he didn't hide his face. It had been too long since Akira had seen the simple, open smile he wore.

  
Akira finally got his limbs back in order and remembered that Mishima had asked him a question. "No. I haven't changed my mind." He pulled him close, this time without bowling them over. "The next time you see me I'm gonna give it to you so - " He jolted in surprise.

  
Ann had come up the stairs and stood in front of his bed. Mishima yanked at the covers reflexively, as if to cover the two of them out of modesty; then he laughed at himself and let go of them.

  
"Lot of emails, Ann?" Akira asked, smiling.

  
She stuck out her tongue. "No. I wanted to give you boys some space, _obviously."_

  
Mishima grinned. "I think we're done wrestling. Or whatever Akira wants to call headbutting the wall - _hey - "_ He yelped as Akira shoved him until he sprawled on his side on the bed, legs flying.

  
Akira stood and pulled his boxers on. "Ann, you want to sleep with him? Next to him? I can take the couch for once."

  
He noticed that she really did look tempted for a moment as she looked from his face to Mishima's, who'd stayed where he'd been pushed on the bed. "That's nice of you. But I think I'll just head home."

  
"Really? Haven't the trains stopped running by now?"

  
She gave him a wry smile. "They've already stopped running and started again."

  
He didn't believe her and had to check the time on his phone. "Geeze - " He yanked his jeans up. "At least let us walk you to the station, then."

  
They turned to look at Mishima and saw that he'd curled up on top of the covers; if he wasn't asleep yet, he would be soon. Akira smirked. "Maybe just me, then." He finished getting dressed and followed her downstairs, locking the door behind them.

  
\----------

  
It was just before dawn; the sky had only lightened a fraction by the time Ann and Akira reached the Yongen station. It was very nearly deserted, with only a single businessman waiting for his train.

When Ann came to a stop and rested her head against the tile wall, Akira studied her face in silence.

  
"What."

  
"Everything okay?"

  
She turned her face away, answering his question. Ann spoke her mind, and for her, staying silent spoke volumes.

  
"Something happen that I haven't heard about yet?" he murmured, trying to avoid being overheard.

  
She smiled, though there wasn't much warmth to it. "Nah. Congrats, though. I'm happy for you guys."

  
"Oh, because we said... ? Thanks." _That's it, then._ Slowly, to avoid drawing the attention of the businessman at the other end of the station, he slung his arm around her waist and squeezed her to his side before releasing her again. "So... did he tell you the same thing? Tonight?"

  
She leaned her head against his shoulder, her voice quiet. "That he loves me? Yeah."

  
_Then what's... ?_ He stayed silent, peering down at her and trying to figure out her expression in the poor lighting.

  
Her voice was flat. "I don't, though. Love him."

  
"Oh." He stayed silent and let her lean on his shoulder, keeping her company until her train came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a lot of reading about the behaviours and coping mechanisms that sexual abuse survivors sometimes employ as they are recovering, so hopefully what Mishima is talking about and doing doesn't completely come out of left field.
> 
> I also feel like I need to include an author's note of sorts - Akira! Should not! Have done that! Way too soon. They're lucky things turned out okay. Sometimes he is too impulsive. But, he's not perfect, and he doesn't really know how to deal with something like this.


	18. "Cool." Consolation prize. Relationship junk.

By the time Akira had made it back to the front door of Leblanc, the sky was a warmer grey, and he could hear the faint wash of traffic in the distance now. He locked the door behind him and fished out the first aid kit from under the kitchen counter, then headed up the stairs to the attic.

  
Mishima lay curled on his side on top of the covers, just as he'd left him. He didn't stir until Akira had sat on the bed next to him, opening the first aid kit with a click.

  
"Still asleep?" Akira poured disinfectant onto a cotton swab.

  
He seemed to be having trouble waking up, though the cold liquid making contact with the bite mark on his neck fixed that. He hissed through his teeth and jolted away until his heels drummed the wall.

  
"Hey hey hey - " Akira grabbed one of his feet. "Sorry."

  
"Cold - " Mishima muttered thickly. He might have meant the rest of his body, rather than the disinfectant; he drew the covers up to his waist and let Akira examine his neck. He held himself still and blearily watched Akira's hands as he threw the cotton swab away. "Mm. Thanks."

  
"You don't want it to get infected." Akira stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed next to him. He had something to add, something else he wanted to tell Mishima, but he fell asleep with the words on the tip of his tongue.

  
\----------

  
Akira jolted awake to his alarm a few hours later, groggy and disoriented. His arms tightened reflexively around Mishima's middle until he protested in his sleep, drawing his knees up to himself. He looked so exhausted that Akira climbed over him carefully instead of shaking him awake. _Maybe I can give him a few more minutes before I have to kick him out._

  
He had just gotten dressed and was pulling the covers closer around Mishima's shoulders when he heard a scraping at the window.

  
When he pulled it open for Morgana, Akira prepared himself for an earful, but Morgana surprised him. "How's he doing?"

  
He considered how Mishima had looked and acted at the beginning of the evening, then remembered how he had had him laughing and joking by the end of it. "Better." He knew by now how to get on Morgana's good side. "I followed your advice and gave him some curry. I think it helped."

  
Predictably, the cat puffed out his chest. "Just as I thought." He picked his way over the tangled covers, carefully avoiding Mishima, then peered up at Akira. "What's on the agenda today?"

  
Akira dug his knuckles into his eyes, then smiled at him ruefully. Morgana was much more of a morning person than he had ever been. He hadn't had anything to drink, but he'd had so little sleep that he felt hungover all the same. "Ugh. Wish I could just go back to bed. After everybody came over last night, I didn't get a ton of sleep."

  
Morgana made a very human noise of disgust and turned his face away. "If you expect me to have sympathy for you, you are sorely mistaken."

  
"Nah, it wasn't because of... that." _Well. Not only because of that._ He tried to think of a way to change the topic but Morgana was already responding, twitching his nose as he sniffed the air.

  
_"He_ smells like liquor, but _you_ don't. And he looked terrible last night. _And_ he's still dead to the world, even though we aren't being all that quiet. What's his deal?"

  
He sat on the couch and sighed, then beckoned Morgana to come closer so that he could keep his voice down to answer him. Morgana leapt onto the couch beside him and wrapped his tail neatly around his paws. "It's not my... not my secret to tell. Understand? But I guess I can at least tell you as much as I told Sojiro."

  
Morgana flicked one of his ears and waited patiently.

  
Akira lowered his voice to a whisper. He definitely did not want Mishima to wake up to him telling his cat about his past. "It's a Kamoshida thing."

  
He sighed and looked at his paws. "Even though... that was back in April?"

  
"Ann told me that he didn't even tell anyone before her, though. Not even his parents, for all this time. So I guess that's a, you know. Contributing factor. Probably."

  
Morgana's face could only convey so much expression, but his lashing tail made up the difference. "Geeze. That's... "

  
Akira brightened. "It wasn't all bad stuff though. He told me... " He felt his face heat up. He wasn't sure how Morgana would react to the news, but he ploughed ahead with a slightly redacted version anyway. "Um. I guess we're dating now."

  
The cat scoffed and narrowed his eyes. "What did you call what you were doing for the last few months then?"

  
He rubbed the back of his neck, left speechless for a moment. This was not exactly the conversation he'd been expecting to have so early in the morning. "Well, I guess, but now we're... official?" He cleared his throat. "Like. In love. I guess."

  
It seemed that he was not the only one feeling awkward; Morgana abruptly twisted away to groom his fur, as if he couldn't look him in the eye anymore. When he spoke again, his voice was gruff. "Cool."

  
Akira laughed a little and slouched down on the couch until his head rested on its back. "Yeah, that describes it, I guess. 'Cool.'"

  
Morgana was quick to change the subject. When Akira glanced down at him again his eyes were dancing and his whiskers were twitching with excitement. "Hey! Does that mean Lady Ann is... available, again? If you and her aren't dating now?"

  
"We weren't, but - " Morgana's question brought back the memory of Ann staring at the floor after he'd told Mishima that he loved him. Of her admission in the Yongen station that she did not love Mishima back. Of just how many hours she must have spent sitting at the bottom of the stairs, having to listen to the two of them.

  
"Because if she is, do you think she'd go out with me for sushi?" Morgana was so eager to hear his answer that he'd put both of his front paws on his knee, the tip of his tail waving back and forth.

  
Akira dragged his exhausted mind back to the topic at hand. "Sorry. It's messy. Ann and _me_ aren't dating, but she might be dating - " Before he could stop himself, Akira glanced at Mishima, still in a stupor in his bed.

  
"Him? But you just said - "

  
Even as he said it, he kicked himself for being careless. But there was no other way that he could think of to put off a real answer. "I don't really know what her status is myself. Like, she might actually be dating someone right now. I was going to ask her later. But once she tells me, you'll be the first to know."

  
Morgana stretched his front legs, then his hind legs. "I appreciate it. You two still seem pretty close, for not dating." His eyes were twinkling again. "Do you think she would like - "

  
They both heard the sound of the front door to Leblanc being unlocked. Akira cursed under his breath. He'd lost his chance to walk Mishima to the train station unnoticed, as he usually did after he'd stayed the night. Now he had no choice but to face Sojiro and the questions that were sure to follow.

  
He turned back to Morgana. "Want to hang out with me downstairs?" he whispered, quieter than ever now that he knew that Sojiro was within earshot.

  
Morgana whispered back, understanding the need for secrecy; even though Sojiro would only have heard a series of meows, Akira didn't want to draw his attention just yet. "No games or movies today?"

  
"Sure, but he's not... decent." Morgana made a feline frown, his whiskers drooping, as Akira continued. "I'm sorry. I was going to see him off before you or Sojiro got here, but he looked so tired that... well. I think he could use a lot more sleep. I just mean that, like, if you don't want to see - "

  
"Yeah, yeah," Morgana grumbled. "You _really_ don't need to paint me a picture." He trotted down the stairs, Akira following just after him.

  
Sojiro was grinding beans, though he switched the machine off when he saw Akira descend the stairs. "Morning, kid."

  
"Morning, Sojiro." He fed Morgana, then grabbed his apron and busied himself with washing the dishes from the curry he'd heated up for Mishima the night before, resigning himself to putting in a few hours' work in the cafe. He didn't generally help out without being asked, but he felt like at least a show of remorse was required. If he had to give up a few hours of his Sunday as penance to stay on friendly terms with Sojiro, it would be worth it.

  
"Sit down."

  
Akira steeled himself, then dried his hands and slid into a seat at the bar. He waited in silence as Sojiro made a coffee, then pushed it across the countertop. "Oh, for me... ? Thanks."

  
Sojiro nodded curtly, but still didn't speak. Akira had a better handle on his moods than he had since they'd first met, and knew now that this wasn't necessarily a bad sign. He sipped his coffee and waited for him to break the silence.

  
Sojiro abruptly turned towards the sink, finishing the dishes himself. He spoke to the room at large, not bothering to turn towards Akira behind him. "I may have been too hasty last night."

  
"No, it's - "

  
He interrupted him; that didn't seem to have changed, at least. "I didn't know the circumstances."

  
Akira guessed this was meant to be an apology and took it as such. "Thanks. For understanding, I mean."

  
Sojiro turned back around and dried his hands, looking relieved. Apparently that marked the end of the difficult part of the conversation. "How's your friend?"

  
Akira smiled wide at just the thought. "Better. So much better." But then he remembered. "He's, uh. I decided to let him sleep in." He flicked his eyes towards the ceiling to indicate the attic. "He hasn't slept much all week, I guess." He arranged his face into an expression that he hoped would convey equal parts 'I'm sorry' and 'please don't be mad.'

  
Sojiro began to prepare a coffee for himself. He was pouring the water over the grounds when he asked what Akira had known was coming. His voice was flat. _"Is_ he? A friend?"

  
He had no idea where Sojiro stood on such things. Whenever customers in the cafe tried to engage him in conversation regarding politics or any other topic that might prove the slightest bit controversial, Sojiro either feigned ignorance or pretended to not have been listening - a useful tactic when dealing with the general public. But not exactly helpful when it came to something like this.

  
_Just get it over with._ "No. He's not... I mean. He's. We're dating." He realized he had clenched his fist on the countertop and tried to relax.

  
Sojiro nodded and, to Akira's shock, actually wore a satisfied smirk. "Knew it."

  
"I - "

  
"You kids are never as sneaky as you think you are." For a second Akira could very clearly picture the day Sojiro had unexpectedly come back to the cafe while he'd had Ann up in his room. He swallowed, hard. But, lucky for him, Sojiro decided not to go into detail. He seemed to be content with shooting Akira smug looks. Akira felt his face heat up and had to look away.

  
Sojiro's voice was a little softer. "Good for you."

  
Akira was caught flat-footed and could only gape at him. "Uh - "

  
"I'm not going to bring it up again. If you keep out of the shop and use your brain, I don't care what you do." He took a sip of his coffee, seeming to take satisfaction from how flustered he'd managed to make him. "It's pretty dead today. I think I've got things handled."

  
Sojiro held out his hand for Akira's apron.

  
He was too tired. He couldn't think. He handed the apron over, then drained the last of his coffee. He noticed Morgana seated patiently by the door and let him out. Then he trudged up the stairs, kicked his shoes off and crawled over Mishima. Coffee or no coffee, he was asleep before he could pull aside the covers, still fully dressed.

\----------

  
When Akira finally woke up again, his phone told him it was well into the afternoon. He'd managed to fall asleep in an awkward position, his glasses digging into the side of his face, and by the time he'd removed them and placed them on the windowsill above his head, Mishima was stirring.

  
"Morning." Akira hooked his arm around his stomach and pulled him close. He was warm and solid, and suddenly Akira felt like smiling for no reason.

  
"Unh... ?"

  
Akira buried his face into Mishima's crazy hair. "Yeah, I'm not a morning person either."

  
He almost could have fallen asleep for the third time, but Mishima had managed to wake up fully and was rubbing his eyes. He rolled over and stretched his legs, then sat up. He was about to swing his feet down to the floor when Akira pulled him back until he was stretched out once again, this time on his back.

  
Mishima laughed a little. "What... ?"

  
Akira was in no hurry to let him go. "Cafe's open. Gotta be quiet."

  
His eyes went wide. "Oh, shit - did your alarm not go off... ? I'd better - " He was whispering.

  
"Got somewhere to be today?"

  
"No, but. Should I be up here... ? During business hours?"

  
"I've had friends up here before. During business hours." Akira ran his thumb down the centre of his chest. "No _naked_ friends though. Lemme get your clothes for you. Just in case."

  
Akira climbed back over him and helped him get dressed under the covers. By the time he emerged, Akira had gotten a good look at his face and grinned. "You look like you again."

  
"Must've been your magic curry. And some sleep, and - " His ears reddened.

  
Akira stuck his fingers back in Mishima's hair. He couldn't make it any wilder if he tried. "And some stress relief?" he whispered.

  
Mishima flopped back onto the bed, fully dressed now; his face was as red as his ears. But he was smiling. "Maybe that too."

\----------

  
Akira took Mishima to the bathhouse across the street. Sojiro just let them pass by without comment. He seemed to be satisfied to leave things as they were, just as he'd said. Given that it was a Sunday afternoon, the bathhouse was packed, so they didn't linger.

  
They wandered aimlessly through Yongen, their hair still damp, until Akira caught Mishima shivering in the weak sunlight. "Guess it's colder than I thought," he said, sheepishly.

  
"We can head back." Akira leaned a little closer, keeping his voice down. "You're going to start taking better care of yourself. Right?" It was more of a statement than a question.

  
"Yeah, yeah."

  
They passed the market and simultaneously realized they were starving. They loaded up on sandwiches and snacks and brought their haul back home.

  
Akira was hungry, but even he was taken aback by the way Mishima tore into his food. But it helped him forget how he'd looked the night before: bruised circles under his eyes, pale and shivering in his t-shirt as he waited for him in the dark outside Leblanc.

  
After they ate, Akira brought up coffee and they fell into easy, aimless conversation. For once, it didn't have to be about anything serious, like what they had covered the night before; they could talk about Kawakami's homework, or a manga series that Mishima recommended, or the claw machine prizes Akira was so proud of. They sprawled on their backs on top of his bed, their legs hanging over the edge.

  
" - so now I have to find a boy's love manga that's, like. Even _more_ explicit. I have to top the one I gave her last time."

  
_Ann._ Akira rolled onto his side so he could gauge Mishima's expression. "So, uh. I heard a bit about what happened at Ann's house last night,   but... "

  
Mishima twisted his head to the side to look at him. "Oh. Yeah. Maybe I should tell you."

  
"You said you're going to give her another manga - are you and her still going to... ?"

  
Mishima turned back to stare at the ceiling. "I don't really... know. I told her I love her and she said she cares for me. As a friend."

  
Akira winced.

  
He must have seen it out of the corner of his eye. "No, it's fine."

  
"How is that _fine?"_

  
"Well, because - " Mishima stammered. "Like, she didn't say she wanted to end things. That's what I thought she was going to do."

  
"But... you went there to end things with _her,_ right? But _also_ to tell her you love her... ?"

  
Mishima was struck dumb. "Oh."

  
"Did that... make more sense at the time, or something?"

  
"Well, like - I just thought - I knew I had to tell you guys how I felt, but I also knew neither of you loved me back - "

  
"Not true," Akira interjected.

  
He started talking with his hands, still looking at the ceiling. "- right, okay, I _thought_ neither of you loved me back, and I was half right. So if I told both of you how I felt instead of hiding it I thought I'd at least... feel better. I guess. Eventually. I figured I'd lose you both as friends but at least I'd be able to start sleeping at night again."

  
"If someone doesn't love you back, does that mean you have to stop being friends?" Akira realized he genuinely didn't know; the amount of experience he'd had hadn't covered anything like this.

  
Mishima looked like he was no closer to the answer himself.

  
Akira sat up. "I don't - I don't think you did anything _wrong,_ or anything. But last night, when you told me you loved me, and I said it back... I don't think you could see Ann's face."

  
He sat up too and leaned back against the wall, stretching out his legs. "She was... ?"

  
"She looked... shocked, I guess. And then disappointed. Sad, at least."

  
"When you told _me_ that you loved me? Why then?"

  
Akira shook his head. "Dunno. But when I talked to her at the train station, she looked really... I think she's really upset."

  
Mishima sighed and tipped his head back against the wall. "And she just sat at the bottom of the stairs that whole time, didn't she. In the dark."

  
"Think so."

  
"We told her to come back though - you said you'd give her the bed so she could stay the night with us, so - so why would she just pretend she was okay?"

  
Akira smiled fondly. "She's like that. She was really worried about you, you know? After you up and left her house without saying anything. After the kind of night you had last night. She wouldn't just tell you she's upset if it was the wrong time. She thinks about things like that."

  
Mishima smiled back at him. "Yeah. Guess that's why I love her." It was a simple statement of fact.

  
"You can still just... say it like that? Even if she doesn't love you back? Even if she doesn't want to keep sleeping with you?"

  
He shrugged. Then his eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened. "Oh, so - I bet that's why she's upset. I mean, I told her I wanted to break things off when I was all - you know - freaked out, and I didn't really get a chance to tell her that that's not what I want now. So now she thinks I picked you and not her. Picked you and not both of you, I mean."

  
Akira was thinking hard. "If we're dating - like, really dating now, if we're... boyfriends - " He glanced over just in time to see the pleased expression spread across Mishima's face before he looked down at his hands, embarrassed - " - then... can we really still do things with Ann, though? Should we?"

  
He turned back; the pleased expression had evaporated. Mishima looked nothing but anxious now. "Oh."

  
"Do you want to be exclusive? You and me?"

  
"I don't... I don't know. Like, yeah, I guess I wouldn't want you to sleep with anyone else, but Ann... ?"

  
Akira blew the hair off of his forehead. "I think we'd better talk to her. She's part of this too."

  
Mishima got up and claimed the couch, and Akira sprawled on his bed, each with phone in hand.

  
MISHIMA: Hey Ann, are you around?

  
AKIRA: Busy today? We wanna chat with you.

  
There was no immediate response. While they waited, Akira thought of a way he could lighten the mood a little. "Hey, guess what."

  
"Hm?"

  
"I told him about us." He gestured with his chin towards the stairs, keeping his voice down. Even now, they could both hear the sounds of quiet conversation and the low drone of the TV in the cafe below. "That we're official, I mean."

  
"The owner?" Mishima surged to a sitting position, uneasy again. "Why would you do that? What did he say?"

  
"He already knew!" Akira remembered how tense he'd felt during that conversation and laughed. "Or guessed it, anyway. I think he got a kick out of watching me squirm about it."

  
"So he wasn't... ?"

  
Akira beamed at him. "Do you know what he said? 'Good for you.'"

  
Mishima looked dazed. "The day after I got you in shit with him, after he saw me _drinking_ in his cafe, he said... 'good for you'? Seriously?"

  
Akira was still grinning. "Sojiro's cool like that. For an old guy."

  
Their phones each vibrated as Ann answered their messages.

  
ANN: how are you guys  
ANN: I said it to Akira already, but. congrats, Mishima :)  
MISHIMA: Thanks Ann. :)  
AKIRA: That's actually what we wanted to talk to you about.  
ANN: oh?

  
Akira caught Mishima's eye and nodded for him to continue.

  
MISHIMA: Well. I guess I should say sorry first. I wasn't thinking straight last night.  
MISHIMA: I didn't mean to make you worry. I should have told you I was leaving.  
ANN: it's okay  
ANN: how are you feeling today though? you looked better before I left this morning, at least  
MISHIMA: Really good.  
MISHIMA: You really helped me.  
ANN: aw  
ANN: good. I'm glad  
MISHIMA: I should just say it.  
MISHIMA: What's our status, Ann?  
MISHIMA: Like. I've had some time to do some thinking, and now that I'm not so freaked out, I think we'd better talk it over.  
ANN: maybe

  
Mishima paused, giving her a chance to speak her mind, but she seemed to be waiting for him to continue.

  
MISHIMA: I'm sorry I said that I wanted to break things off with you. I don't really want that.  
ANN: why would you say it then  
MISHIMA: I was all fucked up yesterday. Before I even started drinking, I mean.  
MISHIMA: I think I said it first so it would make it easier for you to say it.  
ANN: so it would make it easier for me to dump you? why would I do that?  
MISHIMA: Because I told you I love you, and you don't love me back. But it's not like I blame you for it or anything. So I guess I wanted to make it sound like it was my idea, and then you could just agree to it without feeling bad.

  
"Geeze - " Akira caught his eye and shot him a sympathetic look from the bed. But Ann was responding.

  
ANN: Mishima.  
ANN: Mishima, when I said I care about you, that wasn't some, like  
ANN: consolation prize  
ANN: I really do  
MISHIMA: I know.  
ANN: you really just wanna go back to the way we were? friend stuff plus sex? even after you told me you love me? knowing that I don't love you back?  
MISHIMA: If you want to, then I do too.  
ANN: Akira? what do you want?  
AKIRA: I like what we had.  
AKIRA: Have.  
ANN: okay, but. you're a couple now. it's totally different  
ANN: we can't just... mess around now. you love someone  
ANN: if you're part of a couple, you don't do that to each other  
MISHIMA: Why does it have to be different?  
MISHIMA: God. I really did fuck everything up.  
MISHIMA: Couldn't you just pretend I hadn't said anything?  
ANN: no  
ANN: listen. I really am happy for you guys. I wasn't lying when I said that  
ANN: but I think I'll pass on that movie date  
ANN: I need some time to myself. some time to think  
ANN: see you tomorrow

  
She exited their group chat.

  
Akira made room for him, and Mishima joined him on the bed. They lay in near silence until the room grew dim as the sun set. Akira walked him to the train station, and he went home.

  
\----------

  
When they saw her the next morning, she wasn't cold, exactly. She greeted Akira and Morgana at the Shibuya station with the same smile she usually did. When Mishima caught her eye before the warning bell rang, she sent him a chat message first, and they exchanged empty pleasantries in their group chat. But when he asked her if they could talk about what had happened that weekend, she stopped answering. When he twisted in his desk to seek out her face in the classroom, she shook her head at him, then put her phone away.

\----------

  
That afternoon, Ann sat hunched on the couch in Akira's bedroom, scrolling through images on her phone without really seeing them. Akira had called a Thieves meeting, though only he, Ryuji, Morgana and herself had arrived so far. She sighed and flopped back against the couch, dropping her phone down to her side on the cushions. Thief work was the last thing she felt like doing today, but backing out to take a mental health day wasn't exactly an option.

  
She caught Akira looking at her, but when he opened his mouth to speak, she cut her eyes to Ryuji, then back to him and shook her head, frowning. He nodded and looked away, his face drawn.

  
_Ugh. Of course._ Ryuji had caught their exchange and, with all the subtlety of a wrecking ball, peered first at Akira's face, then at hers. "You guys have a fight or somethin'?"

  
Even worse, Akira murmured, "Sort of" just as she was shaking her head again.

  
Morgana just had to pitch in his two cents. "You aren't going to let personal problems get in the way of our infiltration, are you?" He turned to Ryuji, and Ann knew exactly what was going to come out of his mouth. "Because this weekend, Akira and - "

  
_"Morgana."_ Three pairs of eyes met hers, then looked away.

  
She tried for a civil tone and failed. "Can we please keep things on topic? I don't think we need to share - "

  
Futaba, Makoto, and Yusuke arrived at the top of the stairs, one after the other, and saved her from having to finish her sentence. She turned on her smile as she greeted them, and Akira followed suit, giving her one final sympathetic look before he steered conversation elsewhere.

  
\----------

  
Ann sank to the floor at the top of Mementos with a pained sigh, pulling her feet beneath her to sit cross-legged. She had tried to hold out and remain standing with the other Thieves as they waited, but her feet hurt enough to win over her reservations about sitting on the grubby tiles. Of course, one advantage of wearing something that covered her from head to toe in latex was that almost no part of her could come into direct contact with the sometimes gory environs surrounding her. Small comfort, but it was something.

  
Akira had benched her so far. Whether this was coincidence, out of consideration, or whether he just didn't want to chance pissing her off again, she couldn't tell. She'd sat in silence inside the bus as conversation flowed around her, though none of it had really stuck enough for her to add to it. Now he was busy tending to his Personas, and she was left idle as she waited for his orders, just like the rest of the Thieves.

  
_You wanted time to think. Now you've got it, so you might as well use it._

  
She grimaced to herself. She'd had the same thing on her mind for all of Sunday and most of today; she might as well have been absent from class for all the good sitting there had done for her education. But her thoughts were still stuck in the same rut.

  
_I don't love him. I just like him. He's just a friend. He's cute._

  
_I don't love Akira, and I don't love him, either. Not like that._

  
_...But what if it's love and you just don't know it?_

  
_Yeah, but. Akira could just... say it right back. He knew right away._

  
_If it's love, you know it._

  
_Right?_

  
_If I just had more time with him to figure it out -_

  
But that wasn't the right way to go about it. She knew it in her gut. Oh, if she put her mind to it, she could wrap Mishima around her little finger and lead him on without breaking a sweat. She could put on a fake smile and say the right words, and he'd be pleased just to see her again. To be _allowed_ to see her again. Even knowing that he loved her, and she didn't love him back, he'd come running if she called.

  
She felt sick, and stopped torturing herself. Her thoughts returned to their track.

  
_I don't love him. I don't... I don't THINK I do. I just like him. He's just -_

  
She heard the scrape of soles behind her and twisted around, peering up at Ryuji. "Hey."

  
"Hey." He eased himself down to the floor in front of her in increments, stretching his bad leg away from her. "Think you've got the right idea."

  
She twisted her mouth. "I know these Thief outfits are based on our own cognition, but. Apparently some part of my self likes to have sore feet."

  
He let his eyes crawl from her feet, to her calves, to her thighs, spread wide, and said nothing. He saw that she'd noticed him looking and, instead of glancing away, grinned right in her face. "Heh. No comment."

  
She rolled her eyes and made a noise of disgust, but her heart wasn't in it. Ryuji leering at her in her admittedly skin-tight outfit felt almost nice compared to what she'd had on her mind for the last two days, or the way she'd been worried for Mishima for the entire week prior. Or, if not nice, at least normal. She knew what to expect with Ryuji.

  
She leaned forward and swatted his chest, just to keep up appearances.

  
"Ow!" he yelped, though of course she hadn't really hurt him.

  
Despite the distraction, she returned almost immediately to her worries, even as he kneaded his leg a foot or two away, his eyes still on her. _Let him look. I don't care anymore._

  
But he jolted her back out of it a moment later. "Hey. So." He leaned closer and kept his voice low. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But. You okay? Lately?"

  
If he'd asked within earshot of the others, or if she hadn't been craving something, anything, to give her a diversion from her thoughts, she might have shrugged off his question. But he was here, looking genuinely sympathetic, and she knew she was going to tell him before the last words were out of his mouth.

  
"No. I guess I'm not."

  
He pulled up his mask and rested it high on his forehead, as if that would help him hear her better. She did the same with her own, not knowing why she did it; but he smiled, and she smiled back.

  
"What is it?"

  
"It's... I dunno. Relationship junk. Probably not something you wanna hear about."

  
"Yeah? Try me." He leaned back and planted his gloved hands on the gritty floor behind him, making himself comfortable.

  
"Some of it's... " She wondered just how much to tell him, and exactly how she should gloss over some of the parts that she'd rather not have the other Thieves overhear. "Does your mom still work the evening shift?"

  
"Yup."

  
After that, she took Akira aside once he reappeared and requested to be put on the team. He did as she asked without comment, and she found that whipping a few Shadows to shreds made the time go by a little faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ryuji, how did you even get in here. Get out


	19. Drama. Same old Ryuji. Sidepiece.

Ann hadn't been to Ryuji's apartment in years, not since middle school, but it was more or less the way she'd remembered it. A little chaotic, cluttered in the corners, maybe, but warm. You could tell that a family lived there. She and her caretaker got on well enough, but it wasn't the same.

  
"You want a Coke?"

  
"Maybe just some water. Thanks."

  
He waved her to the familiar old couch, then handed her a glass. She drained it in one go. She'd worked up a sweat in Mementos today, so she fanned herself with the neck of her hoodie. But when he returned from his room, she saw that he'd already shed his uniform blazer, leaving him in his t-shirt, so she did the same. _What the hell. It's just Ryuji._ She unzipped and shrugged out of her hoodie too for good measure, leaving her in just her black tank, uniform skirt and red tights.

  
"Sorry to just... invite myself over. It's been a while, huh?"

  
He sprawled onto the couch beside her and shrugged. "S'okay. And, yeah, I guess." He grinned. "Remember watching kid shows with me after school? You used to like that Power Rangers type shit."

  
"Well. We both cheered for the villains though, if I'm remembering right."

  
She felt the couch move as he set his can of Coke on the floor. "Yeah." She couldn't see him easily unless she turned her head all the way to the side, but she could hear the smile in his voice.

  
_If you don't start soon, you're going to be here all night._

  
"You sure you want to hear all this junk? You don't have to."

  
He was kneading at his leg again as he spoke. "Lay it on me. Like, I can't promise I'll have _advice_ or whatever. But I can listen to your drama."

  
"It's not _drama_ \- " she snapped.

  
He grinned at her. "Fine, fine. Just freakin' tell me already."

  
She stared at her hands, trying to figure out how to begin. "Hey. Does your leg hurt?"

  
"Every day."

  
"Now, though?"

  
"Yeah, course it does. Mementos always kicks the shit outta me."

  
She patted her thighs. "Gimme."

  
"What - "

  
"Gimme!"

  
He knew better than to argue with that tone. He rested his head on the arm of the couch and stretched out his legs, leaving his good leg on the floor and gingerly laying his bad one on top of her thighs. "Bet my feet stink. Sorry."

  
She made sure he was looking at her and then leaned down to his socked foot to get a good whiff. "Yup."

  
"Fuck, why would you - " But she'd gotten him laughing.

  
"Ryuji, I bet I stink all over after being stuck in that stupid catsuit for hours. You think that thing breathes?" She didn't wait for an answer. She rolled the cuff of his uniform pants up past his knee and started kneading his leg.

  
"Mine's got the same problem." He resettled his leg. "Go a bit harder."

  
She did her best, digging in her thumbs to break up the knots. He let his eyes fall shut; she could see him wince every now and then, but he didn't tell her to ease up. He finally cleared his throat and opened his eyes again. "That helps, but. You gonna keep stalling or what?"

  
"I guess that is what I'm doing." She stared straight ahead and kept working at his stiff muscles, grateful to have something to do with her hands.

  
"So, you n' Akira are havin' problems?" he prompted.

  
She was taken off guard. "What - ?"

  
He smirked at her. "Fuckin' Morgana was tryna spill your secrets in the meeting, remember?"

  
She tried to remember what exactly Morgana had said. Not much of substance before she had managed to cut him off, so far as she could remember. "Oh, that." She turned back to his leg, conveniently hiding most of her face from view behind her hair. "Akira and I aren't dating."

  
He flexed his toes in surprise. "Oh, _bullshit._ Don't come here to vent if you're just gonna lie."

  
She was trying to piece together exactly what to say about the arrangement she'd found herself in, but he mistook her silence for something else. "Aw, did you mean you broke up? Shit, I'm sorry - " He sat up and swung his leg off of her lap, then patted her back awkwardly.

  
"Nah. Can't break up if you never started dating in the first place."

  
"Psht. Come _on._ You guys are always touchin' each other. Goin' on dates." He grinned again. "Remember that time when I showed up at Leblanc to hang out with him, and you were already there? I got there pretty early... " His grin was wider than ever. "And your hair was all crazy... "

  
_You said you'd tell him. So just tell him._ But that didn't mean she had to look at him while she did it. "Him and me sleep together from time to time." She felt her face heat up and she turned even further away, as if she was trying to see out the window behind her. "But he's not my boyfriend."

  
She'd actually managed to shock him. "Whooooa - " When she glanced back at him to see how he was taking it, his eyes were huge. Then he slung his arm around her shoulders and started laughing, pulling her close enough for their foreheads to bump together. "You fuckin' _go,_ Ann."

  
It seemed silly now that she'd actually been worried about how he'd react. She grinned. "Thanks?"

  
He let go of her and moved back to his side of the couch. "That sounds, uh, pretty chill. So what's the problem?"

  
"He's not... really the problem at all. It's Mishima." She winced. "I mean, he's not a _problem,_ he's - "

  
"What, our Phan-site guy? Is he pervin' on you in class or something?"

  
She had to laugh out loud at that. "No! I think I perved on him first."

  
He furrowed his brow. "Uh, what?"

  
She let a coy little smile surface. "I'm sleeping with him."

  
"But you just said - "

  
She stayed quiet and let him work it out.

  
He started laughing all over again and collapsed against the back of the couch. "What the shit, Ann."

  
"Something wrong with that?" She arched an eyebrow.

  
But she could tell from his face how he felt. If anything, he was giving her an admiring look. "How long?"

  
"A couple months with Akira. Then we took a break, I guess, and I sorta. Noticed Mishima at the same time that he did. So it's been a few months since then. And now Akira and me are, like. Spending time together again."

  
He took a slug of his Coke, thinking. "'Spending time together' is code for fucking?"

  
_Same old Ryuji._ She shoved his shoulder. _"Yes._ Duh."

  
"Okay, but. Hold up. You 'noticed Mishima at the same time that he did'? What does _that_ mean?"

  
This was part of the conversation that she'd known was coming but still didn't really know how to handle. She turned sideways on the couch and faced him fully, trying to show him she was serious. _It's Ryuji. If you can't tell him, who can you tell?_ "If I tell you some of Akira's personal... if I tell you about his personal life, are you going to be weird about it?"

  
"Course not."

  
"I don't know if he wants me to tell you. So you need to keep this to yourself."

  
"Got it."

  
"Mishima too. I know you guys hang out sometimes, but still, I don't think he - "

  
"Ann. I can keep a secret. C'mon."

  
She started playing with her hair to give her hands something to do. "Akira told me he liked Mishima a few months ago, and they went out on a date, but... god, they were both so clueless about it. I set them up and it seemed like things were going good for them, but then I... well. Like, I'm not proud of it, but - "

  
Ryuji was still two steps behind her. "Akira and _him?"_

  
"Yeah."

  
"Like, still?"

  
"Uh huh. They're cute together."

  
"I wouldn't know about _that."_ Ryuji slumped back against the couch and stared at nothing, shellshocked.

  
"God, don't tell me you've got some weird hangup about - "

  
He held up a hand to cut her off. "Hey. I'm not like that. I just didn't know Akira was, like... "

  
Ann was more than ready to take a break from all the questions. "Guess you never caught him checking you out, huh?"

  
She watched his face redden. "Nah, I totally did. Like, now that I think about it, that's definitely what he was doing. He wasn't even _shy_ about it."

  
Ann hugged her legs and rested her chin on her knees. "No, he's not shy, that's for sure."

  
He was still making sense of what she'd told him. "Okay, so. Akira is gay. Bi, I mean."

  
"Yup."

  
"And then I guess Mishima is - bi, so - "

  
"Yup."

  
"So those two started dating, and then you - "

  
"I mean. They went on _a_ date, and slept together. Messed around. Whatever. They weren't dat _ing._ If that makes sense."

  
He waved his hand. "Whatever. So they're _interested_ in each other, right, and then... was that when you and Akira were on a break?"

  
"Yeah. And I got to know Mishima a bit better, and I told him I was. You know. 'Interested.' So that's what we've been figuring out for the past few months. But now Akira and me are, um. Back at it. Too."

  
"'Back at it.' Heh. What, you couldn't choose, so you decided you had to have both of 'em?"

  
"I guess so."

  
His face lit up as he watched her from the corner of his eye. "Got any other dudes in your harem, Ann?"

  
She rolled her eyes, but she couldn't really protest too much.

  
Ryuji scrubbed his hands through his hair and looked a little more serious again. Maybe he was done teasing her. "This a Carmen thing? A Panther thing?"

  
"I don't get what you mean."

  
"Like. Sorry to snoop, but. Did you date anybody before Akira?"

  
"Just you." She reached out her stockinged foot and poked him in the side with her toes. "We know how _that_ went."

  
"Yeah, yeah." He didn't take offense. "So." He started to grin again, anticipating her reaction. "You, uh, know what your Panther suit looks like, right... ?"

  
"Ugh. What, are you going to call it 'sexy'? I don't get what that has to - "

  
"No, I mean. It's like, latex, right? Or somethin' close?"

  
She couldn't figure out what he was getting at. "I think? I guess it is."

  
"Soooo... ever since you got your Persona, do you feel more... I dunno... kinky?"

  
_Same old Ryuji._ Ann lifted herself up off the couch and headed towards the door. "Thanks for listening. I guess."

  
"Hey, hey, come back - hey - I said that for a reason - "

  
She'd gotten one of her boots on and held the other in her hand. "What. _What_ reason, Ryuji."

  
"Come on. I'm not trying to hit on you, or whatever. Come back." He waved her back to the couch, and, still not really convinced, Ann removed her boot again and sat down.

  
"I'll show you." He pulled out his phone, tapped something into the search bar, and pulled up an image search. He passed it to her.

  
_Welp. He's got you there._ She let out a deep sigh and scrolled through the photos of women in shiny, distinctly fetishy outfits. A couple of them even held whips not so different from the ones she used in the Metaverse. He'd typed in 'latex dominatrix'. The most popular colour of the suits seemed to be black, not red, and none of them had the exact cut of her Metaverse outfit, but she couldn't deny that there was a definite resemblance.

  
She dropped his phone back into his lap and covered her eyes. _"Fuck."_

  
To his credit, he didn't gloat or tease her. He just drank his Coke quietly.

  
She still couldn't look at him. "Is this why you tried to - to start things up with me? Asked me if I wanted your dick pics?"

  
"Uh, maybe... " He couldn't look at her either.

  
She groaned. But it was directed at herself, not at him. "Guess I, uh. Owe you an apology. I shouldn't have flipped out at you for asking me that when - Christ - can I see that again?" He wordlessly passed his phone back and she scrolled through more of the image results.

  
"How does my _Persona_ know about this shit if I don't?" she muttered.

  
He scratched at the back of his head. "So, like. All I meant was... well, it's in your head, not mine, so I dunno for sure. But maybe this whole goin' after two dudes at once thing is related to... uh. Like, maybe your Metaverse outfit is tryna tell you somethin'."

  
"Tell me _what,_ though?"

  
He shrugged, brow furrowed again. "You don't even _like_ it, you said. So I don't get what that means." Maybe he could sense that she wanted a change of topic. "I kinda like mine, honestly."

  
"You're _lucky,"_ she said, bitter. "Yours is - badass. Mine's... mine's some kind of porn bullshit." She waved her hand at his phone.

  
He looked away again, and she reached out to touch his shoulder.

  
"Sorry. I'm not pissed at you." She tried to give him a smile. "Thanks. For listening, I mean."

  
He laid his head against her hand for just a second, until she took it back; then he stretched out his bad leg, testing it. "Thanks for the massage. That helped a ton."

  
"No prob." She was suddenly reminded of the massages she and Akira had traded in the past after returning from Mementos, the massages that were closer to foreplay than anything truly therapeutic, and felt her face heat up.

  
_Come on. It's not the same._

  
Ryuji had turned sideways on the couch and sat crosslegged, facing her fully. "So like. Leavin' that Metaverse shit behind. Did you ever actually say what the problem was?"

  
"The - ?"

  
"Cuz you said you didn't have a fight with Akira. And then you said Mishima's not a problem either. So... ?"

  
She stretched her legs out straight and kicked her feet up and down. "Uggggh... I didn't even _get_ that far... There's more I'd have to tell you."

  
He picked up his phone and checked the time. "Still three more hours til my mom gets home."

  
"All of this isn't too much for you? Maybe you've got stuff to do."

  
"No way. With the Panther shit added in this is like some kinda weird soap opera. I gotta find out what happens next." He sprawled back against the couch and laughed as she slapped at his shoulder in mock fury.

  
"Okay. But, before that - there was a convenience store near here, right?"

  
\----------

  
Ryuji assured her that his leg had rested enough to at least make it the block and a half to the convenience store and back, so they went on a snack run. She hadn't bothered to put her hoodie or blazer back on, and he had left in his t-shirt himself; when they'd gotten back, practically running by the time they reached the door, they were both shivering. She jumped back onto his couch and seized her blazer, then leaned over and flung her hoodie around his shoulders. "Brrrr - "

  
He pulled it around his arms and grinned at her, looking grateful, but then he seemed to catch sight of something and suddenly looked away.

  
"What?"

  
He wouldn't answer, and she noticed that his face was red. As she pulled her blazer back on, she glanced down and realized what he'd been looking at.

  
_Same. Old. Ryuji._ This time, she felt a strange mix of exasperation and fondness. _To be fair... This is a big improvement over just sending dick pics without asking. Or even how he was staring at me in my catsuit a couple of hours ago._

  
"You're such a _perv._ God," she said automatically.

  
"Y-yeah, well - you're the one with two dudes in your stable. What, you just wear one out and hop on the other?" He could look at her again, and now she could see that he found the whole thing hysterical.

  
She stuck out her tongue. "If you're just gonna tease me, I'll eat until you can calm yourself down." She took a bite out of her onigiri; he smirked and opened his chips. They shared their snacks and chatted about how things had gone in Mementos that day until they'd had their fill. He was rubbing at his bad leg absentmindedly again, so she gathered up their garbage and disposed of it herself.

  
"Thanks. Round two?"

  
"Yeah. I guess."

  
"So. It sounds like you got this casual thing goin' with Akira and Mishima. And then those two guys... _also_ got a casual thing? Or?"

  
She grimaced. "That's where the problem is. Like, okay, first of all. Things are casual but not. None of us were being romantic or anything. We kept saying that. But we also didn't go outside the, the - "

  
"Threesome?" He was trying to keep a straight face.

  
"Fine, whatever - and it was good like that. Like, I thought it was good. Mishima and Akira seemed happy - "

  
"I _bet_ they did, yeah - "

  
She booted him in the side with the heel of her foot and he stopped interrupting her. " - but then..." Here was the final roadblock. She wanted to tell Ryuji the full story, but she also didn't want to betray Mishima's trust in her. She finally compromised and wound up settling for telling him a partial truth, just as Akira had done with Morgana and Sojiro. "Well. Did you see Mishima at all last week?"

  
He shook his head, then paused. "No, maybe I did. He looked sick." Then he shrugged. "Don't see him as much since we're not in the same class this year."

  
She wavered. "Don't pass this around, okay?"

  
He finally flared up at her. "Listen, we're - we're _Phantom Thieves,_ you n' me at least, and he's our - he's like our fuckin' accomplice, right? Our site admin. He's always helpin' us out with Mementos shit, even if he doesn't really know it. Gatherin' intel. I'm not gonna just, like, _gossip_ a bunch of his private shit at school, okay? Not his shit, not Akira's, not yours." He exhaled heavily. "Who would I even tell, Ann."

  
She sighed herself, then nodded, just once. This was it. "He's... he's still going through some stuff. You know. Kamoshida stuff."

  
He nodded. He did know.

  
"He never told his parents. He never told _anyone._ Until he told us on Saturday night."

  
"Damn... "

  
"And I mean... I don't like to say it, but. He didn't have anyone to tell it _to,_ you know? I think before Akira transferred here, he didn't really... "

  
Ryuji was already nodding. "Yeah. He's been shit on for years. I mean, we used to be buddies, but... " He pulled her hoodie a little tighter around his shoulders. "What Kamoshida did to me? I'm still pissed about it. Maybe I'll never really forget it. But Akira's been real good to me. I can send him a message and he'll just... answer back. Even if it's about that old shit from a year ago."

  
She nodded back. "Right? Exactly. And when we were stealing that fucker's Treasure - " Her voice grew cold. " - and making him pay, you and Akira both did the same for me. You helped me deal with him and with what he did to Shiho. It made it easier."

  
"So - but Akira _knew_ that happened to him, though. Mishima had those marks on his face right when Akira transferred in. He was all beat to shit. So if they're, you know, close, then wouldn't Akira have been helpin' him with it? Like he did with us?"

  
Here was the line she couldn't cross. She shook her head. She hoped he'd understand.

  
He leaned back against the couch and studied her face. She turned away.

  
"There's... more?"

  
Ann stayed as still as a statue. If she spoke, she'd either have to confirm what he'd said or lie to him. If she stayed silent, she could at least feel like she'd tried to stay loyal to Mishima. But she'd never been much of an actress, and something about her expression gave her away, or at least gave Ryuji enough reason to guess.

  
"Ann, did Kamoshida - " His voice went very quiet. "Is there more?"

  
She did not cross the line.

  
"I already figured it out on my own. You didn't tell me." He pulled gently at her shoulder until she faced him again. "Listen, it's between me n' you. I'm not gonna drag details out of you."

  
She let out a long, shaky breath, and if her eyes looked a little glassier than they should have, he pretended not to notice.

  
He stretched his arm out along the back of the couch. "So he just... kept all that in? All this time?"

  
"Practically pretended it didn't happen. He kept saying it didn't matter. That it was over."

  
"Don't mean it can't hurt," he muttered.

  
"Yeah." She tried to gather her thoughts again. "So, like. He was freaked out all of last week. He wasn't eating and he wasn't sleeping. He stopped talking to me and Akira almost entirely. I had to really beg him to come over to my house on Saturday, and then when he got there, he told me... that. All that stuff he hadn't been telling anyone for all that time. Since April."

  
He nodded for her to go on.

  
"And... God, he was so messed up. He came to tell me all _that, and_ to tell me that he wanted to break things off, _and_ to tell me that he loved me."

  
"Why would he want to... ?"

  
"I know. I asked him about it afterward, and he said that he was going to say it first so it would make it easier for me to say it after. To dump him. It's like he thought there was no way that I could possibly love him back, and he was just... tying up all the loose ends at once. Saying what he needed to say so he could start feeling better after it was over."

  
"Shit." His eyes were filled with nothing but sympathy. If someone outside of herself and Akira had to know about this, maybe she'd chosen the right person.

  
Then he smiled. "But. He must be feelin' better now, right? Bet he was happy when you said it back and neither of you had to break it off."

  
She didn't know how to answer that, so she said nothing.

  
"You... you didn't?"

  
Ann couldn't stand it. She got up and used the washroom, then splashed her face with water until she couldn't delay it any longer. When she came back, he was sitting just as she'd left him, and she had to answer. "I like him. He's my friend. But I don't love him, Ryuji." She swiped the water droplets off of her face with both palms. "I don't think I do, anyway."

  
"Fuck, Ann, how can you not know something like that?!"

  
"I, I don't know! How _do_ you know? I've never - !"

  
He gave her a break and looked away, massaging his leg again.

  
She murmured, "When he told _Akira_ that he loved him, Akira could just say it back right away."

  
He didn't speak for a moment as he put it together. "This really... this really _is_ some kinda messed up soap opera. He loves you _both?"_

  
"Seems that way. And now him and Akira are, like, official, or whatever, and... "

  
"And I guess you're just left in the dust."

  
"But that's just it." She fiddled with the buttons on her blazer. "If it were like that I'd be happy for them and move on. Eventually, at least. I mean, I _am_ happy for them. Really. But - "

  
He looked incredulous. "You're _seriously_ not jealous?"

  
She didn't have the energy to be eloquent. "If I can watch them fuck in front of me, or listen to them do it while I'm on my phone in the other room, then... yeah. I can be happy for them if they start being all lovey dovey."

  
Ryuji had found something very interesting to look at on the opposite side of the room and didn't answer.

  
She sighed. "So, yeah. If they wanted to be, to be like a _normal_ couple and continue on that way, I'd suck it up. But they want... more of the same. They still want me to be, you know. Included."

  
He was still kneading at his leg, and she patted her thighs until he stretched it across her lap again. She massaged his muscles, trying to make the silence feel less awkward.

  
When he finally spoke, his brow was furrowed again. "I guess I see the problem now. It's all, like. Uneven now. Out of whack. If you're there, you're the, you know. Sidepiece, or whatever. It's not the same."

  
She felt a surge of relief, of _vindication._ "Yes. _Thank you._ Jesus, I thought I was going crazy here. I think they really don't see the problem with all this. And I mean - Mishima really is my friend, too. I'm not gonna just treat him like some piece of meat. If I know that he loves me and I don't love him back, I can't just... "

  
"You don't wanna lead him on."

  
"Yes. Exactly. Even when everything's out in the open, the idea of... it feels extra horrible, you know?"

  
He nodded. "It's a self-respect thing, too. He's not... He's not bein' good to himself, so you gotta do it for him." Ann stopped working at his leg muscles to stare at him until he flinched. "What."

  
"You're pretty smart, Ryuji."

  
He smirked. "Don't hear _that_ every day."

  
"No, seriously. You're exactly right, and you don't even know everything." She looked away as she went back to digging her thumbs into his muscles. "He, um. When he was super freaked out on Saturday - right after he told me everything that fucker did to him - he was crying, right? And he... like, right after that, he tried to. Um. With me."

  
She glanced over just long enough to confirm that he knew what she meant. "I stopped him, and he left without telling me where he was going. So he went straight to Akira's, still all - still all fucked up, and he just started things up with him instead. Akira didn't know yet, so he let him. He started crying again while he... You know. While they were doing stuff. While he _forced_ himself."

  
"Shit."

  
She realized she was crying herself now, fat tears rolling down her face and onto her hands, but she didn't care anymore if Ryuji saw it. "He told Akira he likes to do stuff for us because it makes him feel useful."

  
He grimaced and looked away.

  
Her voice jagged up and down. "So like... how can I just take advantage of him? Even if he wants to, it still is. Like, he seems better now. He looked a lot better today in class. But it still is, if I don't love him back."

  
He lifted his leg off of her lap, sat up, and gave her a hug. She laid her wet face against his warm shoulder and he stayed stock still until she let him go. She got up again to blow her nose and wipe off some of her smeared makeup. When she came back, he was hunched over, resting his elbows on his thighs.

  
"What a fuckin' mess, huh?" He let out a short, humourless laugh. "Sorry I called it drama. I had no idea."

  
"I know, right? What did you think it was going to be about?"

  
"Thought maybe Akira had broken up with you. Or that, like. Your agency had dropped you, or somethin'."

  
"God, I wish it _were_ just stupid modelling shit."

  
He leaned back and stretched out his arm over the back of the couch again. "Sorry. I got no advice. I've never... been in love either. I guess."

  
"Talking helped. That's good enough." She took her hoodie back from where he'd left it wrapped around his shoulders and started to shrug out of her blazer. "Think I'd better get going."

  
"Hey, Ann?"

  
"Mm."

  
He waited until she was looking him in the eye. "I won't check you out anymore. In your Panther suit, I mean. I didn't know you didn't like it." He was sincere.

  
"How could you _not_ know? I told you I didn't like my Metaverse outfit. I think I said it in front of everyone, even."

  
"Yeah, but... when I do it, you just go 'you're so gross, Ryuji' and you smack me, or whatever. And, I mean. Morgana says our Thief outfits are from our own cognitive whatevers. So I guess I thought you would take it as a compliment. Maybe."

  
"You thought my outfit was a sign that I... wanted attention? I guess?"

  
He nodded quickly. "Yeah. And. I didn't know you were in a relationship. Relation _ships,_ even. Like, I kept thinkin' you musta been dating Akira but then I'd decide you weren't, after all. I dunno."

  
"Well. I never was. Not really." She smiled fondly. "Me and my boys are just friends."

  
"Heh. You and your boys. Carmen's got two dudes, too. You keep 'em on a short leash, huh?"

  
He could be annoyingly perceptive. "Oh, shut up. I don't... I don't treat them like that."

  
He stopped teasing her. "Anyway. I guess I thought your Panther suit was like your bikini, from when we went to the beach."

  
"How?"

  
"Well, when I checked you out in _that_ , you just laughed and punched me in the gut. Pulled me in even closer. Right?"

  
"That's because you were making such a stupid face!"

  
He laughed with her. "Okay, but. Did you take _that_ as a compliment?"

  
"Kind of? Maybe. Did you mean it as one?"

  
He waggled his eyebrows at her. "Yeah, man. You were practically naked."

  
"That's different from my Panther outfit, though. I picked that bikini out myself. And, like. I guess I knew you'd be looking at me. Akira too, probably. Yusuke. I planned for it." She smiled. "I'm a model! People look at me. That's the whole point of a bikini."

  
"Then... ?"

  
"When we're in the Metaverse, I'm just trying to keep up with the rest of you. Trying to keep up with Akira's goddamn backflips, and sneaking through vents, and whipping Shadows. I'm not... I'm not trying to be sexy. I want to get shit done. And if I'm in battle, trying to dodge a hit or whatever, it starts to get really distracting if I have to worry about what kind of view you're getting out of it."

  
"Sorry," he mumbled.

  
"Nah." She blew her hair off her forehead. "Maybe I've been giving you mixed signals."

  
"Well, if you don't like your own cognitive outfit, that came straight outta your head, that's like. The _definition_ of a mixed signal."

  
She laughed, delighted at the thought. Sometimes he had a way with words. "You _are_ smart."

  
"Psht."

  
She lunged at him and messed with his hair until he groaned in protest. Then she picked up her bag, shoved her feet into her boots and went home.

  
By the time she pulled out her phone at the train station, she'd been bombarded with messages. There was an email from her modelling agency asking for models to substitute for a shoot that afternoon, then another stating that all vacancies had been filled. Akira had sent her a few chat messages here and there over the course of the day, asking if she was okay. Mishima had sent one to ask if she was okay as well, then one more a few hours later to say that he understood if she needed more time to think. And Ryuji had already sent her a dozen or more goofy memes and cat gifs; even as she scrolled through them, she received two more.

  
When she got home, she left her phone on the charger and watched mindless TV with her live-in caretaker in the living room until she went to bed. She slept better than she had for most of the past week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good Guy Ryuji


	20. False hope. Homework. "You know about that stuff?"

When the bell rang at the end of class the next day, Ann waved a quick goodbye to both Mishima and Akira as she hurried to a shoot. Mishima was packing up his things, so Akira rushed to send a message to him before he could leave.

  
AKIRA: Wanna come home with me?

  
He could already see his ears turning red, even from across the room. It really didn't take much.

  
MISHIMA: On a weeknight, though?

  
AKIRA: For coffee, I mean.

  
MISHIMA: Oh.

  
MISHIMA: You do that on purpose, don't you.

  
MISHIMA: Yeah, okay. Coffee's nice too.

  
Akira whispered to Morgana inside his desk, trying not to be overheard. "Mishima's coming over, but you can hang out too, if you like. It'll just be for the afternoon, I think."

  
Morgana sighed, but kept his snark to himself. Akira had noticed that he'd softened his stance on Mishima a little in the last few days.

  
They hopped on the train, then headed to Leblanc from the Yongen station. Akira made them each a latte and they chatted quietly in a booth until the cafe started to fill up with regulars stopping by on their way home from work. Sojiro caught his eye and gestured with his chin in the direction of the attic; Akira nodded and they cleared out to leave their seats available for paying customers.

  
Morgana took the windowsill, grooming all the parts of his fur that had become dishevelled from being inside Akira's bag. Mishima took a seat on the couch, redfaced but pleased. "He _really_ said... 'good for you'? When you told him?" It had happened a few days ago, but he still seemed to have a hard time believing it.

  
Akira pressed in to his side, hip to hip. "Yeah. He really did." He wrapped his arm around his waist and sipped his coffee.

  
"Any word from Ann?"

  
"Not really. Nothing of substance. She seems... better? Okay, at least." He thought of the way she'd snapped at Morgana at their last meeting the day before, or the stony silence as she sat in the bus in Mementos. By comparison, she'd been practically cheery today.

  
Mishima sighed. "I made her so sad. I wish I hadn't said - "

  
"You didn't do anything wrong. I just wish you'd told us all that earlier. But. I get why you didn't."

  
"Yeah, but. What are we gonna do about Ann?"

  
Akira shrugged and set his cup on the table next to the couch. "That's up to her."

  
"I don't wanna lose her."

  
"I was thinking about it, and I think I sorta see what she's doing." He pulled Mishima closer, careful not to spill his coffee, until Mishima rested his head on his shoulder. "She put space between me and her when she guessed that I liked you. She might think that she has to do the same thing now that we're, you know. A couple. She's trying to do the right thing."

  
"Maybe. Because she's not... _ignoring_ me, she's just... "

  
"Staying in 'just friends' territory. Right?"

  
Mishima nodded. "Yeah. Only, you know. Normal 'just friends.' Not the way we were being friends before."

  
"That might just be how things go, now. At least she still _wants_ to be friends, right?"

  
"Sure, but... " He sat up and set his cup on the floor. "I _miss_ her. Like - " He twisted to the side to face Akira. "Sorry. You're still - I'm still happy to be with you. It's not that you're not enough."

  
"I get it. I know." He pulled out his phone to check for messages from her, then put it away. "I'll give you a hint about Ann, though. You can't push her, or she'll just push back. Give her some time and see what she says."

  
They sat in silence for a few moments, until Akira stirred, cracking his knuckles. "Hey, Morgana."

  
Morgana stopped grooming his fur and sat up attentively.

  
"Want to pick what we watch today? Or play?" He knelt in front of the TV and spread out a handful of DVD cases and retro game boxes. Morgana leapt to the floor and came over. He studied the selection carefully, angling his head this way and that, before decisively planting his front paw on top of Train of Life.

  
Mishima sounded impressed. "How did you teach him that?"

  
Akira inserted the cartridge into the console and switched it on. "Morgana's very smart. He taught himself." He set up three chairs, one for each of them, and they played for hours until Mishima went home.

\----------

  
Ann collapsed on top of her bed, exhausted. Her shoot had gone long and the chocolate bar she'd grabbed before her train had come hadn't helped; now she was sugar crashing. She desperately wanted a shower and something of substance to eat but she couldn't summon the energy just yet.

  
She lay there, staring at the ceiling and barely thinking. Her phone buzzed, so she picked it up.

  
RYUJI: yo.  
RYUJI: how goes?  
ANN: hey  
ANN: meh  
ANN: tired. long shoot. you?  
RYUJI: avoiding homework.  
ANN: don't even say that word  
RYUJI: lol yeah.  
RYUJI: so.  
RYUJI: i saw you in the hall at lunch. you feelin better?  
ANN: yeah actually  
ANN: kinda  
ANN: nothing changed, but. I think talking to you helped. thanks  
RYUJI: dunno what i did, but you're welcome.  
ANN: we used to talk more, didn't we  
ANN: before the Thieves, I mean  
RYUJI: guess so. middle school, maybe.  
RYUJI: we just had our own shit to deal with after that, that's all.  
ANN: well, like. you should come talk to me if you need to  
ANN: if Akira is busy, I mean :P  
RYUJI: busy with his new bf?  
RYUJI: yeah, he is my go to, I guess.  
RYUJI: man, I'm not like. prejudiced. don't think that. but I totally can't picture him like that.  
RYUJI: gay.  
ANN: I caaaaaaan  
ANN: mmf

  
She laughed to herself in her bedroom. _If only you could see what I've seen._

  
RYUJI: OR mishima.  
RYUJI: we used to hang out in middle school. when it wasn't you n me, it was me n him.  
RYUJI: i wonder if he knew back then.  
ANN: nah. from what Akira told me, he didn't know he was until Akira sorta. had a long talk with him

  
_If you want to call that talking._

  
RYUJI: geeze. it's like everybody's so far ahead of me.  
RYUJI: i can't believe i couldn't tell that all this was going on. i kept seeing you n akira bein, you know. close. i didn't think it was anythin like this though.  
ANN: we did a good job hiding it then  
ANN: this isn't really a thing you tell everyone  
ANN: like, you were nice about it. I guess I could've told you all along. but a lot of people would call me a slut, or whatev  
RYUJI: i wouldn't call you that. unless i was joking, maybe.  
RYUJI: like, you aren't banging randos at parties. it's just been them two, right?  
ANN: yeah  
RYUJI: and you seem close to him too. like, real close.  
RYUJI: i was thinkin about it after you left.  
RYUJI: do you think maybe you do love him? mishima? and you don't know it?  
RYUJI: you cried for him.  
ANN: if you saw how he was a couple days ago, you'd see why  
ANN: I don't know how to know for sure  
ANN: I mean, I've done all the things with both of them you're supposed to do with your boyfriend. when you're in love  
ANN: so why DON'T I know  
ANN: like, what if I can't. be in love  
RYUJI: aw.  
RYUJI: you're not a monster.  
RYUJI: i mean. a raging dick fiend, maybe.  
ANN: oh shut upppp

  
She'd laughed, loud, at what he'd said, but he didn't need to know that.

  
RYUJI: no, seriously, i have to know. how the hell did you make that work.  
RYUJI: you steal his goddamn bf and nobody's jealous???  
ANN: I talked to both of them about it before I did anything  
ANN: and I already told you! nobody was anybody's boyfriend. or girlfriend  
ANN: after they told me they're a couple, I haven't touched either of them  
ANN: call me what you want, but I'm not a cheater  
ANN: or like. a homewrecker? whatever  
RYUJI: okay, okay, chill.  
RYUJI: but. really. i don't get it. how was nobody jealous?  
ANN: we took turns  
RYUJI: lmao.  
RYUJI: just like i said, huh?  
ANN: nooooo  
ANN: god, Ryuji XD  
ANN: I meant Mishima would stay the night at my place one weekend and at Akira's the next. we only all... got together... one time  
RYUJI: i almost feel proud.  
ANN: what?  
RYUJI: my little buddy has come so far.  
ANN: your little buddy gets a lot more action than you do, I bet ;)  
RYUJI: hey.  
RYUJI: you don't get to tease me.  
RYUJI: i may not have two girls in rotation at once, or whatever, but i also don't gotta worry about this relationship/not-relationship shit either.  
RYUJI: sorry.  
ANN: nah, that's fair  
ANN: I shouldn't tease you. it's not like this is going well anymore  
RYUJI: i can't decide for you. but to me there's no question.  
RYUJI: if you don't love him, but those guys love each other, then you gotta back off.  
RYUJI: you already said it at my place. you don't wanna lead him on.  
RYUJI: so don't.

  
She grimaced to herself. Ryuji had a way of boiling things down to what was important.

  
ANN: ugh  
ANN: maybe I needed to hear that  
ANN: they keep asking me tho. like, they want me to come back and start things up again  
ANN: it's nice to feel wanted. you know?  
ANN: but I don't think it's right to pretend nothing is different  
RYUJI: so don't.  
ANN: I know. I know

  
She sighed and pulled her hair free from its elastics.

  
ANN: thanks  
ANN: you're good at this  
ANN: for not having relationship experience  
RYUJI: most useless skill ever, lol.  
ANN: sorry to make it all about me and bounce. twice. but I need a shower so bad  
RYUJI: get outta here then, stank girl.  
ANN: lol  
ANN: k. ttyl

  
\----------

  
The next morning, Ann happened to wake up early, ahead of her alarm, and spent a little extra time on herself. She did her makeup to perfection and put on her favourite perfume, one that she'd saved up for with her modelling funds and kept for special occasions. She ate granola and yogurt for breakfast and still had enough time to look over her homework one last time before she had to pack up and leave for her train.

  
When she got to school, she arrived early enough to catch both Mishima and Akira hanging out at the entrance, both of them leaning against the wall side by side but not quite touching. Since Akira had been so free with showing her physical affection at school in the past, she knew that he was holding himself back for the sake of Mishima's comfort in public, having learned his lesson after their first date at the diner. She smiled to herself as she approached.

  
_I'm leaving you in good hands._

  
"Hi."

  
"Hey Ann. How've you been?"

  
"Not bad. You guys busy after school?"

\----------

  
Mishima took it better than she'd thought he would.

  
After careful consideration, she'd chosen Leblanc; at first, she'd wanted a public place, but almost any other place she could think of was a little _too_ public. Students didn't frequent Leblanc, at least.

  
To her relief, Akira seemed to have an inkling about how things were going to go, and led them upstairs instead of settling them into a booth right under Sojiro's nose. Morgana leapt out of his bag and onto the bed, but when Akira murmured something to him just out of earshot, he made himself scarce via the open window.

  
Akira turned back to face her, seated on the couch next to Mishima. "Should I be here for this?"

  
Ann nodded. "Might as well." She opened her mouth to speak, but Mishima interrupted her.

  
"I guess I know what you're going to say."

  
She wanted to take his hand, but knew she couldn't. "I'm sorry."

  
He sighed. "I can't change your mind? I really... miss you."

  
"You've seen me every day!"

  
"You know what I mean."

  
She closed her eyes. "I'll miss you too. But I gotta do the right thing." She opened them again and made sure he was looking at her face. "Just don't think this is because of... what you had to tell me, okay? It's not because of that. It's because... " She'd rehearsed this part over and over since the evening before, but everything she'd decided to say had flown out of her head.

  
He looked utterly miserable. Her heart ached for him. "Because I love you, we can't be friends?"

  
"We can be friends. Just not... more than friends." She shook her head, trying to put her thoughts in order. "It's too much, you know? It's not fair to you. I can't just lead you on."

  
He sighed again and turned his face away so he wouldn't have to look at her. "I wish I could undo it. It was... it was nice. Until then. Until I said it."

  
"You're in a relationship now. A real one. You've got Akira."

  
Mishima looked from her face to his. "Are the two of you going to - "

  
They both shook their heads immediately. "That really wouldn't be fair," Akira said.

  
She was glad they were on the same page. "Listen. If it makes it easier on you, Mishima, I can sorta. Give you some room. Until you feel less... strongly, about it. About me."

  
"No. I want to - I mean, _can_ we still hang out? Like, I'll miss seeing you like... that, but I don't want to just stop seeing you entirely. Is that okay?"

  
"Course. We still get on pretty good, don't we?" She grinned. "I need someone to help me tease Akira."

  
He was able to smile back.

  
\----------

  
AKIRA: Are you okay?  
AKIRA: Be honest.  
ANN: yeah  
ANN: I wasn't, but. I think I am now

  
It was late, long after first Ann, then Mishima, then Sojiro had gone home. Morgana had returned, and had kept any burning questions he might have had about 'Lady Ann's' relationship status to himself for the time being. He lay curled up in a tight ball a few inches from Akira's side as he tapped into his phone in a private chat with Ann.

  
ANN: is he?  
ANN: okay?  
AKIRA: Think so. I think he knew it was coming.  
AKIRA: You didn't give him any false hope, I don't think.  
ANN: still. I'm sorry  
AKIRA: Why are you saying that to me?  
ANN: bc I can't be there for him. I guess  
ANN: this timing feels so shitty. like, he wanted to make it easy for me to break up with him because he thought I wouldn't love him after he told us all that. that shit that happened to him  
ANN: and. oh look, it's fucking true. I don't love him. I broke up with him  
ANN: god  
ANN: do you think I did the right thing?  
AKIRA: I don't... know.  
AKIRA: This got so complicated, you know?  
AKIRA: I don't think you did the wrong thing, at least. You were kind.  
ANN: I tried  
AKIRA: He'll be okay. He's gotten through tougher things than this.  
AKIRA: Hey, now that your weekends are free, Morgana would like to take Lady Ann out for a sushi date.  
ANN: fucking... don't, okay?  
ANN: this is just more of the same. if I spend a minute more than I need to being nice to Morgana, then it's just what you said about Mishima. "false hope"  
ANN: like, maybe that's exaggeration, but. I'm sick of having to be so careful. I don't want to hurt his feelings, so I can't just say "no, you're a cat, I will not go out on a date with you" either. can't be too nice, can't say what I mean, either  
ANN: just... ugh  
AKIRA: I'm sorry.  
AKIRA: He just said it to me the other day, that's all. I don't really think you should give him false hope either.  
ANN: sorry. just. I think I still need some time away from relationship junk  
ANN: I'm not mad at you  
ANN: sorry  
AKIRA: It's alright.  
AKIRA: Are you and me okay, though?  
ANN: yeah  
ANN: I'm just snappy tonight  
ANN: I miss you. and him  
ANN: it has to be that way, but. I miss you anyway. you know the way I mean  
AKIRA: Yeah. I know.  
AKIRA: We can't, though.  
ANN: I know  
ANN: be good to him for me

  
Akira started to type in his response, but she'd already left the chat.

  
\----------

  
It was just before the warning bell on Friday morning, two days after Ann had given Mishima the news.

  
MISHIMA: Hey.

  
Mishima twisted in his seat to look over at Akira. Ann caught sight of the movement and glanced up long enough to give him a pleasant enough smile, then returned her attention to her notebook. She knew that she wasn't the one he was trying to talk to.

  
AKIRA: Hi.

  
He looked up and gave Mishima what he hoped was a sympathetic sort of look.

  
AKIRA: How're you doing?  
MISHIMA: The same. I guess.  
MISHIMA: Not great.  
MISHIMA: Actually, maybe I'd feel worse if I hadn't sort of known it would go this way. Like, I was going to break things off with her anyway.  
MISHIMA: I think I'd feel worse if I'd thought I had a chance. So I got some of the feeling shitty out of the way ahead of time.  
AKIRA: Geeze. That's kinda  
AKIRA: Bleak.  
MISHIMA: Well, you asked.  
AKIRA: You want to go to the movies this weekend or something? Take your mind off things?  
MISHIMA: Maybe.  
MISHIMA: Actually, I think it'd be a waste. I can't pay attention to anything.  
MISHIMA: Could I just come over?  
AKIRA: Oh. Um.  
AKIRA: Sorry to ask in class, but. How've things been going?  
MISHIMA: I just... told you?  
AKIRA: I mean when you're by yourself.  
MISHIMA: Well. I guess I'm sad. Mad at myself that I told her I loved her, even though I think more and more that there was no way around it. I needed to say it.  
MISHIMA: And at first I was all... Mopey. Didn't want to move. But then yesterday I started thinking that I'd feel better if I could go do something. So I went to Harajuku and collected intel for the Phan-site.  
MISHIMA: That helped. Even though I don't think I found anything useful.  
AKIRA: Maybe you're starting to feel better. Or you're about to.  
AKIRA: And I'm glad to hear that, but that actually isn't what I meant.  
MISHIMA: ?  
AKIRA: Are things going any better when you're by yourself? When I'm not there?  
AKIRA: When I can't be there to help you?  
MISHIMA: Uh  
MISHIMA: Now I know what you mean, lol.  
MISHIMA: I was trying to take my mind off things, and today I started to feel like I had more energy, so...  
AKIRA: Nice.

  
Akira carefully selected an applause emoji, a gold star emoji, and a grinning cat emoji. He sent them all and then immediately added on a thumbs up emoji and sent that too.

  
MISHIMA: You're so weird, lol.  
AKIRA: Well, I was going to throw the eggplant in there, but...

  
He glanced up to confirm that Mishima was blushing, just as he'd suspected.

  
MISHIMA: So can I come over or not? What does that even have to do with... ?  
AKIRA: Well, since you've been good.  
AKIRA: Actually, I'm going to assign you some homework tonight. If you complete that, then you can come by tomorrow night.  
MISHIMA: Maybe I'd better chat with you while I'm working on it.  
MISHIMA: So you can grade me.

  
Akira's eyes went wide, and he looked up just in time to see Mishima flash him a cheeky grin, face still beet red, before he turned back around in his desk and put his phone away.

  
\----------

  
When Mishima pushed open the door to Leblanc the next evening, the cafe was empty, just as it always seemed to be at that time of night. He spotted Sojiro behind the counter, wiping down the surface. Instead of the usual curt nod, Sojiro gave him a wave this time, really just raising his palm to him briefly before turning back to what he was doing.

  
_It won't be so bad. Just make it quick. It's already overdue as it is._

  
Mishima slunk up to the bar and sat down.

  
"Coffee, kid?"

  
"No, I actually. Uh." He dug through his bag and presented Sojiro with a gift wrapped package, setting it carefully on the counter. "Here."

  
"What's this?"

  
"Castella."

  
Sojiro picked up the box, wrapped in pretty paper. "Because... ?"

  
His brain screamed at him to _stop talking_ and escape, run out the door and keep on running until he made it to the station. But he raised his eyes to Sojiro's and said what he needed to say. "I. I behaved poorly. Last week. Please don't blame Akira for what I did." He bowed his head and slid off of the chair, already wishing he were upstairs.

  
"So formal!" Sojiro looked amused, if anything. "I've seen you around since then though. Aren't you supposed to give gifts the next time you see the person? Why do I get a castella now?"

  
Mishima had been running on autopilot for much of the last two weeks. The first week, the week before he'd embarrassed himself in Leblanc, had been the week that he'd been operating on very little sleep, counting it as a success every day that he simply made it to school. The week after, most of his thoughts had been taken up by Ann, and much of his energy had been spent trying to recover from the week previous. The last time he'd come by Leblanc, he'd skulked past Sojiro and up the stairs, already knowing what Ann was going to tell him before she'd begun talking. He honestly hadn't remembered how he must have damaged Akira's standing with Sojiro by getting drunk in the cafe until Friday, the day that Akira had invited him over for the weekend; that evening, he'd taken the train to the underground mall and agonized over a suitable gift until he'd spied the castella. But he hadn't the slightest clue what he was going to tell Sojiro. "Um - "

  
Sojiro flapped his hand at him and let him off the hook. He turned to the kitchen and cut him off without looking at him. "Can you take some curry up to him?"

  
"Oh - yeah, sure - "

  
He turned back to face him and spoke slowly and deliberately. "Sometimes I wonder if he gets enough to eat." He looked Mishima in the eye just long enough to make it clear who he was really concerned about. He plated up two servings of curry, then asked him to remind Akira to lock up. "Thanks for the cake, kid."

  
He wedged the box under his arm and left.

  
Mishima sank back into his chair; he'd been holding his breath long enough to feel light headed. When his heart had stopped pounding, he got up and flipped the sign to closed, locked the door, and turned out the lights. There was enough ambient light from both the attic and outside to light his way as he carried the plates of curry upstairs.

  
\----------

  
Akira fell out of his chair when he saw him come up the stairs.

  
"Whoa - " Mishima set the plates down on the table next to the staircase. "Geeze, what - " His nerves were still jangling from his encounter with Sojiro, and he noticed that even as Akira climbed back into his chair, his eyes were still staring wildly behind his glasses. Mishima couldn't help it. He started to laugh at him. "Am I that scary?"

  
Akira still didn't look himself; he'd planted his hand over his heart, as if it would leap from his chest. He closed his eyes in relief as he slid his phone into his pocket. "Holy... I thought you were Sojiro."

  
"You told me he's _not_ scary, remember?" He set two chairs in front of the table, then pulled one back for Akira.

  
He guessed what the reason might be when he saw how awkwardly Akira moved as he took his seat at the table. "Were you - ?!"

  
Instead of answering, Akira pushed his chair back, opened his legs a little and showed him - his uniform pants hid nothing - then nonchalantly took a bite of curry. He pulled his chair back up to the table and kept eating.

  
Mishima started to laugh all over again. He was actually a little awestruck. "The owner was still here! _You don't even have a door - "_

  
He shrugged and gave him a sly smile, then took another bite. "Hasn't caught me yet."

  
"Do you _want_ him to?! Akira - " He took a bite of his own curry, still eyeing his face appreciatively. "And besides. Did you forget I was coming over?" Mishima lowered his voice; even if he knew Sojiro was gone, it still somehow felt safer after having just seen him. "Weren't you going to wait for me?"

  
Akira raised his eyebrows, all innocence. "Wait for you? You mean to eat dinner?" He paused to make sure Mishima was looking up from his plate; then, locking eyes with him, he slowly ran his fingers down his length, trapped between his pants and his leg. He was still chewing.

  
"Akira, I can't even see what you're _doing,_ it's not like I can see through the fricking _table - "_

  
Akira gave up on keeping a straight face and covered his mouth as he laughed around a mouthful of food. "Aw, that was supposed to be hot."

  
"Uh, not really. You've got rice on your face now - "

  
They both laughed and gave up on focusing on anything other than clearing their plates.

\----------

  
Mishima flopped onto the end of the bed, leaving his feet hanging off the edge. "Blugh. Too much curry... "

  
Akira wasn't much better off. He groaned and laid down next to him. "Yeah - did you plate that up? That's way more than I usually eat." He reached out and poked Mishima in the belly.

  
Mishima rolled away to avoid being touched. _"No._ I'm not just gonna make myself at home like that. The owner gave it to me to take it up to you." He remembered their conversation downstairs. "Um. Sakura-san, I mean."

  
"He hasn't done that before, right?"

  
"No. I think he thinks I'm wasting away, or something." Mishima told him about how Sojiro had treated him when he'd presented him with the castella by way of apology.

  
Akira was impressed. "You know about that stuff? Apology gifts? I don't really... know how to do it, I guess. When you're supposed to or not."

  
"I remembered how bad I must've made you look to him, so... I just ran out and bought some cake. He never lets me pay for coffee, so I probably owe him more than a cake, but." He shrugged.

  
Akira rolled towards him and hugged Mishima's arm to his chest. "Don't stress about it. I think he wanted to make sure you're eating. When you're here, at least."

  
Mishima looked him in the eye but said nothing. They were both thinking of the same thing.

  
Akira sighed. "You look better to me, but - things _are_ going better, right? You're not thinking of that old stuff? As much?"

  
His eyebrows were drawn down, but his voice was steady. "I might always. Now and then. Some stupid little thing always seems to remind me. But no. I'm not... like, I can put it out of my mind now. It's not _all_ I think about." He smiled, a little sadly. "You both really helped me. You and Ann."

  
"Yeah, I was going to ask about that too. You told me a bit in our chat in class, but - "

  
Mishima tipped his head back to stare at the ceiling. "I keep... typing in a chat message to her and deleting it. Not sending anything." He started talking with his hands. "Space might be better. Like, if I can let myself think of other things it gets a bit easier. But then I'm just leaving her out. Like, the three of us, we were almost like a - well, laugh if you want, but it really was getting to be like a team or something, and now she's kicked out - "

  
"I dunno what word to use, but I know what you mean. I think. You just don't want her to be lonely."

  
He nodded firmly. "Yeah. I don't even mean... what we did that weekend. All three of us. I just want to hang out with her." Mishima closed his eyes. "Suzui's gone. Ann never really talked about having any other friends." He turned to look at Akira again. "Have you been seeing her still? More than I have?"

  
"Sometimes." Akira was thinking of their trip to the Metaverse, though he wasn't sure if that should count; there wasn't much time for one on one socializing when they were infiltrating. "We're really not... going to continue things, though. Her and me. You trust me, right?"

  
He was already nodding. "Yeah, of course."

  
"Good. But. I think some more time apart would help. Like, you guys are still friends, but it'll just be awkward, this soon." He remembered after he'd said it that it really wasn't his place to give advice. "I mean, it's up to you how you handle it, but - "

  
"No. I get it. I guess you're right." Mishima groaned again. "I'm too _full_ to talk about serious stuff. Can we watch TV or something?"

  
Akira got up with considerable effort and put on a DVD that they didn't watch, instead talking over it about whatever came to mind. A couple of hours passed.

  
Akira had let Mishima take the bed this time as he stretched out on the couch; when their conversation hit a lull he glanced over. He realized he probably couldn't even see what was going on on the tiny screen from there. Instead, he was staring at the ceiling and listening to the audio.

  
Akira turned the volume low and joined him on the bed, raising himself on his knees and elbows over Mishima. "Up for something?"

  
Mishima smiled up at him and answered, but Akira was distracted and didn't hear what he said.

  
_He looks comfortable._

  
_He looks... so much better._

  
He buried his face into Mishima's neck and rested lightly on top of him, just holding him.

  
Mishima had noticed that he hadn't answered him. "Mm?"

  
"Just happy."

  
He freed his arms and wrapped them around Akira's waist. "Yeah. Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akira is a gross teenage boy lol


	21. Something good. Joker helps. "Maybe you can, but I can't."

They lay that way for some time, until Mishima stirred beneath him. "I thought you came over here for a reason."

  
"What reason would that be?"

  
"Dunno. You tell me." Mishima took on a teasing tone. "Gonna tell me what you were looking at on your phone? Must've been something good."

  
"It _was_ something good." Akira sat up and knelt over him on his knees, then pulled his phone from his pocket and hit play on the video that he'd left on the screen.

  
Mishima started to turn away when he realized what it was, but Akira moved his phone to follow his face. The video was only about a minute long, and the audio wasn't great; most of it was almost silent, and it was only in the final five or ten seconds that anything could be heard. It sounded like faraway breathing and a faint, rhythmic noise.

  
"Have you watched it yet?"

  
"No, I just... sent it... " Mishima had gone very red. He covered his mouth with one hand, his eyes glued to the screen. He tapped the screen and replayed the video from the beginning.

  
"I think I'll give you bonus marks for your assignment."

  
Mishima finally set the phone down and glared up at him. "You still haven't told me why I - why you gave me _homework."_

  
"Last weekend you told me you... couldn't. Or, don't, at least. When you're by yourself. Because you start thinking about old shit." He stuck his phone back in his pocket. "Practice makes perfect, right?"

  
"Why do you even _care_ if I - "

  
"Of course I care!" Akira settled in beside him, flat on his back, and pulled him close until Mishima's head was resting on his shoulder. "You should get to... relax. Stress relief. Remember?"

  
"I _guess."_ Mishima huffed, but his heart wasn't really in it.

  
Akira brought his mouth close to his ear. "What were you thinking about? When you shot that video?"

  
"You first."

  
"Well I was thinking of _you,_ since I was chatting with _you."_

  
At least Mishima was smiling now, equal parts embarrassed and pleased. "I meant - I meant what do you think about, usually?"

  
Akira didn't share Mishima's reluctance to talk about it. "You, lately. Random porn. Used to be Ann, but. You know. It's probably not the nicest thing to keep doing that to someone you're not involved with. Someone who's your friend." He realized that might not quite make sense and laughed at himself. "Well. It doesn't _feel_ like it's being nice, I guess." He thought it over and added, "Ryuji, a couple times. I had this dream... "

  
Mishima had stiffened his shoulders against him. "Sakamoto?"

  
"Yeah, him. But I stopped, because it didn't feel... nice. You know." Then he remembered how he and Ann had mentioned Ryuji in their group chat a couple of weeks ago. "Hey, it was just a dumb dream. He's just my friend."

  
Mishima laid his face against him chest, looking at nothing in particular. "You said he was hot, didn't you?"

  
_Now you've done it._ "Well... yeah. I did."

  
To his relief, Mishima was smiling again. "He's kinda filled out in the last year or two, huh."

  
"I wasn't here to see him before. But yeah, his hard work is paying off, I'd say."

  
"How come you never... I mean. Were you ever interested in him?"

  
Akira seesawed his hand. "I checked him out a few times. But I was pretty into Ann at the time, and he never really gave me a hint one way or the other if he was into me, I guess. Into guys. Although I sometimes got this feeling from him... " He grinned. "You know, I don't think I ever would have considered... doing this, with you and Ann, before I met her. Being involved with two people at the same time. It really was all her idea."

  
"Well, you could've said no when she talked to you about starting things up with me. I think most people would've."

  
"Do you regret it? Now that Ann's... "

  
Mishima laughed. "No!"

  
"Yeah. Me neither." Akira started running his palm over his shoulders, then down his back. "Your turn."

  
"What?"

  
"What kind of things have you been thinking of? These last couple days, at least."

  
Predictably, Mishima rolled away to hide his face. Akira just followed him and wrapped his arms around him. "Mm. Maybe I don't want to tell you now."

  
"Oh, like _that's_ fair - "

  
He could hear the smile in Mishima's voice. "Ann was right. You really can't take teasing."

  
"Tell me!"

  
Mishima leaned back against him a little. "You."

  
"While we were chatting?"

  
"Course. And Ann." He started to mumble. "Guess you're right. I should stop that."

  
"...Maybe. Anything else?"

  
His breathing had picked up, Akira noticed. "I liked... I liked it when you bit me. Last time."

  
"That's good. Because I seem to like... doing that. To you."

  
_Why DO I like that?_

  
Maybe Mishima had read his mind. "What does it do for you?"

  
He had to search his memory, trying to remember what might have been going through his head when he'd decided to bite him. But nothing came to him. "I don't really know what would make me want to do it. With you or Ann." He lowered his voice, smiling at the thought of it. "But I like the noises she makes. Made. When I did it. And with you - it seemed to help, right?"

  
Mishima nodded silently.

  
Akira repeated his own question back to him. "What does it do for _you?"_

  
His breath caught in his throat as Mishima actually shivered against him. "It... "

  
He gave him time.

  
"It felt... like when you hold me down. When you're - " It was hard to make out what he was saying. " - when you're a little rough with me."

  
"I don't get what you mean."

  
He made a little noise of frustration. "It's - I don't get it either. It should hurt, it - I mean, when you bit me it _did_ hurt, kind of - but it's. It." He laughed at himself and made himself say it. His tone was almost reverent. "Akira, it made me come _so_ hard."

  
Akira wasn't expecting to hear anything like that come out of his mouth and was shocked into letting out a short laugh himself. "You've gotten so - you used to be so _shy."_

  
"Sorry."

  
Akira slid his palm down his chest, down his stomach, down to the front of his pants. Mishima was already half hard just from talking to him. "Don't be. I like it," he whispered in his ear. He rubbed at the head with his fingertips, then laid his whole palm across his length and coaxed him until his hips were arching against his hand. "I couldn't believe I got you talking like that in our chat. When we were sitting in class."

  
Mishima seemed to be more focused on what Akira was doing than what he was saying. "Uh huh - " He gasped as he writhed under his hand.

  
Akira brought his mouth closer to his ear, brushing it with his lips as he spoke. "I'm glad I could help you get more comfortable. When I can't be there."

  
Mishima just nodded, pressing himself against Akira's fingers.

  
He kissed his neck, then took his earlobe between his lips. Mishima let out a little whimper, spurring him on to grind his palm against him. "I hope you saved some for _me,_ though." He finally unzipped him and freed his cock.

  
Mishima had had enough. He sat up quickly and whipped his shirt off, then stripped out of his pants and briefs.

  
"Whoa - " Akira smirked up at him. "Someone's eager - "

  
"You - you talk too much." Mishima straddled his hips and shut him up.

  
Akira let his hands roam as Mishima perched on top of him, kissing him hard and fast. He made Mishima sigh into his mouth when he grabbed his ass, until he sat up and swatted his hands away.

  
"What - ?"

  
Mishima's brows were drawn down and at first, Akira thought he was fed up with him. But then he realized he was teasing him. "You have _way_ too many clothes on." He yanked futilely at Akira's shirt until he gave in and sat up enough for Mishima to pull it over his head; then Mishima knelt over him and unzipped him.

  
An impish, weirdly childish thought came into his head - _You're not the boss of me_ \- and Akira stopped being careful. He lunged upright into a sitting position, wrapped Mishima in his arms and bore down on him until he was on top, Mishima trapped beneath him; he heard his teeth click on impact. He'd misjudged the length of the bed and Mishima's head was left hanging off of the end of it until he couldn't see his face anymore.

  
_Shit -_

  
_Was that too rough?_

  
But Mishima's hips were already straining against him; he raised his head from over the edge of the bed just far enough for Akira to catch his expression. He looked almost euphoric as he panted, his eyes darker than ever.

  
The look he gave him flipped some kind of switch in Akira, something that flooded him with adrenaline. He couldn't seem to catch his breath, and his heartrate picked up. It was a little like the way he felt when he was fighting a new type of Shadow, one he wasn't sure he could beat. Which wasn't to say that he felt afraid, or as if he were fighting for his life. Instead he felt a hint of his confident - cocky, really - Metaverse self stirring within him, just enough to lend him a hand. To tamp down the fear that he was hurting the one he loved - really hurting him. That he was opening old wounds. Joker told him to stop worrying, so he did. Instead he put the adrenaline to good use and took control.

  
Mishima struggled against him, freeing his arms, but Akira just seized his wrists and yanked him towards him until his head was resting on the bed again. He knelt over him, his wrists trapped in his hands, and dared him to speak with a look.

  
Mishima looked half crazed, fixing his eyes on Akira's and beginning to grin as he raised his head off of the mattress. "That's - is that all you got? I - "

  
Akira grinned back and slapped him.

  
It was more of a tap; Akira held back most of his strength. It was really just for the look of it. Mishima slowly turned his face back to him, looking shocked.

  
Mishima shifted his hips beneath him and Akira felt his cock press against his inner thigh. He raised his head again, panting. "I think you can do better than _that - "_

  
Another slap, harder this time. It was enough to snap his head all the way to the side. This time he left it there and started to laugh. It wasn't like his teasing tone, to spur Akira on; it was loopy, half-hysterical laughter, completely uncontrolled. He kept it up and started to struggle. Akira easily held him down just by putting a little more of his weight on his wrists. Mishima wasn't really trying to get out from under him after all; it was just for the look of it, just like hitting him had been. "You'd better start behaving if you don't want another one," Akira said. He arched his hips down against him to let him know what he intended, then released his wrists.

  
Mishima was still breathing hard, as if he'd run a race. _He looks..._ As he sat up in front of him, Akira realized what his face reminded him of. He looked intoxicated. A red, hand-shaped mark had appeared on his cheek.

  
_This is exactly what he wanted._ A thrill ran up his spine. Mishima wouldn't ask for this, or maybe he didn't know how, aside from vague hints; but he wanted Akira to take from him, to overpower him. Mishima trusted him enough to let go.

  
Akira leaned back on his hands and let Mishima kneel in front of him. He held his breath as Mishima yanked at his boxers impatiently, freeing his cock from the fabric, and took the head into his mouth.

  
The last time Mishima had given him head had been a week ago, when he'd started - Akira tried to shove the image out of his mind before he could get a good look at it, but of course it was too late.

He winced and tried to convince himself that this time would be different.

  
Mishima was good at distracting him. He stared up at him, his eyes half closed, as he plunged Akira's cock into his mouth. Akira did his best not to rock his hips upward, but when Mishima did something with his tongue, some kind of flicking motion, he couldn't help it anymore; his hips twitched, and he thrust into Mishima's hot, wet mouth. Mishima had to back off, choking.

  
"Shit, sorry - are you - "

  
His expression hadn't changed much when Akira had triggered his gag reflex, other than looking slightly surprised; it was hearing him apologize that made Mishima frown, his cock still in his mouth. He locked eyes with Akira and scraped him with his teeth, just a little.

  
_He did that on purpose -_

  
It was really Akira's own fault, of course. He was the one who'd forgotten how this was supposed to go.

  
Mishima was waiting.

  
Akira stuck his fingers into his spiky hair and wrenched him forward, hard enough to make him exhale hard through his nose in surprise; but he also moaned around his cock, sending vibrations all the way down. Akira held him there and started to fuck his face.

  
He gazed up at Akira, his eyes nearly closed but never breaking eye contact. Spit and precum dripped from his chin as Akira thrust into his mouth. He was able to keep himself from thrusting too deeply again, but he did let himself pick up the pace, slicking in and out of Mishima's mouth faster and faster; Mishima's puffs of breath against his wet cock picked up too, as if in response. Akira watched his eyelids flutter, and then movement caught his eye - _was he -?_

  
"Did I - did I give you permission?" Akira pulled his cock out of his mouth with a wet _schlk,_ trailing strings of saliva, then pushed on Mishima's forehead with the heel of his hand until he was forced to tip his head back and look at him fully. Mishima just panted, his face a flushed, obscene mess, and refused to answer. Akira got his feet under him and grabbed Mishima's shoulders, then shoved him, hard, until he had him flat on his back again.

  
Mishima waited until Akira was in position, kneeling over his legs, then put his hand back on his own cock and started stroking himself right in front of him. When Akira narrowed his eyes at him and opened his mouth to speak, Mishima gave him an insolent grin.

  
Akira got a good look as his lower lip split, sending a thin rivulet of blood down his chin.

  
"Fuck - I _can't - "_ Akira's voice broke. The part of himself that he thought of as Joker had run out of ways to reassure him. He swung his leg back over Mishima and sat down on the edge of the bed.

  
The disappointment was plain on Mishima's face, but he allowed Akira to give him tissues to wipe off the fluids and blood. He had barely finished cleaning his face when Akira pulled him against his chest, hard.

  
"Akira - are you crying?"

  
"No." He sniffed. "Yes." He pulled him tighter and buried his face into his hair. "Are you okay?"

  
"Fine. Are _you_ okay?"

  
Akira let him go and gave him enough space to get a good look at him. He really did look only mildly concerned, nothing more; there was no sign of pain or panic in his expression. But there was a dark cut marring his lip, and it was starting to swell.

  
"I'm _fine,"_ Mishima repeated. He leaned forward and reached for Akira's cock. Akira put his arm between them and kissed his cheek instead.

  
It wasn't what he wanted. Mishima was openly frustrated with him now. "God, Akira, it doesn't even hurt." He touched where his lip had split and showed him his fingers. "Barely bleeding now, see? Quit... quit _babying_ me, already. I can take it, so - "

  
Akira took off his glasses, speckled with tears, and rubbed his eyes with the back of his wrist. He let out a humourless laugh. "Maybe you can, but I can't."

  
Mishima flopped back onto the foot of the bed, his feet hanging off the edge of it. Akira watched him tip his face away, staring across the room at nothing in particular. "Why." He sounded sullen.

  
Akira tucked himself, almost fully soft now, back into his boxers and zipped up his pants. He needed to put some distance between himself and what they'd just been doing, as if that could undo it. "I can't... mark you up. Your face." He leaned back against the wall, several feet away from where Mishima was stretched out. "You looked like... how you looked in April."

  
He was disgusted with himself. He knew Mishima wanted nothing more than to forget what had happened back then, to put it behind him; but now, every time they saw each other like this, it somehow came up. Because Akira kept _bringing_ it up.

  
Mishima rolled away from him, onto his side, and let out a harsh sigh. "It just - you got my lip a bit when you slapped me. Listen, we _talked_ about this, remember? You were fine with the idea last night. In our chat."

  
"It's too real. I don't like hurting you." He screwed up his face. "I'm sorry, but I'm not doing that again."

  
Mishima said nothing.

  
_Well. If we're already talking about it._

  
He braced himself for a fight and tried for a gentle, reasonable tone. "I think Ann told me that you said you used to get hit. When you were still on the team."

  
Mishima's voice dripped sarcasm. "This is your favourite topic, isn't it."

  
"You _know_ it isn't."

  
"Yeah, well. So what? So what if he did hit me."

  
Akira could tell himself to be patient all he wanted, but it didn't make it true. He raised his voice. He hated it, but he couldn't help it. "Don't - don't play dumb, okay? You know why I asked that. You - "

  
Mishima rolled toward him again, still naked, and sat upright. "Yeah? And what _are_ you asking, exactly?"

  
Akira opened and closed his mouth, trying to figure out how to say it. He couldn't stop looking at his lower lip.

  
Mishima's brows were drawn down again, and now he'd raised his own voice. "We already - we already _did_ this. We already had this fight. You think I liked... this... because it's more of what _he_ did. Right? Am I getting it right?"

  
Akira tried to lower his voice again but was only somewhat successful. "Well, when we talked about this before, it was because I called you - " His lips started to form the word 'pretty', but he made himself stop in time. " - I mean, we fought because of what I called you, and you said it _did_ remind you. It _did_ remind you of when he called you the same thing." Mishima inhaled to reply but Akira wasn't done. "So how can you expect me to just... do more of what he did? To hurt you? I wish I'd never said yes. I wish I'd never... agreed to this."

  
Mishima sat at the end of the bed and yanked his socks on in tight, clipped movements. "You don't get it." He stood to pull on his briefs.

  
The idea of him getting ready to walk out the door and go home sapped Akira's anger. Now it was easy to sound as understanding as he wanted to, to lower his voice. "I want to. I want to get it." He swept his palm over the rumpled sheet next to him. "Come back."

  
There was a long moment in which Akira watched him decide, arguing with himself over whether to stay or leave. In the end, he stayed.

  
\----------

  
Akira lay flat on his back and Mishima rested his head on his shoulder with the side of his face pressed to his chest, both of them shirtless but warm under the covers. He didn't seem as though he was ready to speak, and Akira didn't push him. Eventually Akira stopped waiting for him to talk and fell into an unhappy silence, preoccupied with his thoughts.

  
_This is just like the first time we..._

  
_All we do is fight now._

  
_He did look... happy. Satisfied. I should've just kept my stupid mouth shut._

  
He opened his eyes and looked down at Mishima's face. He seemed to be lost in thought himself, staring across Akira's chest at the wall.

  
Akira pictured this suffocating silence continuing until it was too late, until the trains stopped running and Mishima would have to stay the night whether he wanted to or not; he pictured them sleeping separately, one on the couch and the other on the bed, and parting without having made up in the morning. He swallowed, hard. If he didn't speak up, no one would.

  
He inhaled deeply, watching Mishima's face rise with his chest, then let out his breath. He raised the hand he'd left laying on top of the covers behind Mishima and placed it on his head. He didn't play with his hair, or tug on it; he just left his palm there.

  
Mishima didn't react.

  
"We need to talk."

  
"Yeah," he agreed, but kept quiet.

  
_Easy stuff first._ "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

  
Mishima shifted his shoulders and moved his face against Akira's chest; he might have been nodding. "Me too. Sorry."

  
_Harder stuff next._ Now he did let himself stroke his hair, just a little. "Can you help me understand?" he murmured.

  
Mishima shut his eyes and went silent again.

  
"Can you just... tell me what that was like? What you were thinking?"

  
"I liked it."

  
"And... ?"

  
Mishima groaned in frustration and made a kicking motion with one of his feet under the covers, as if kicking the question away. "I don't _know,_ geeze - "

  
Akira knew by now that if he brought up something else, he could usually get Mishima talking that way and circle back around to what he really wanted to discuss. "You know. When you brought up S  & M, this wasn't really what I'd always pictured."

  
Mishima huffed against him, still defensive from their argument. "I never - I never called it that in our chat. I don't think I called it anything."

  
"No - remember that request a long time ago? It was before we were... spending time together. Remember? That girl was bullying that guy... ?"

  
Akira could tell it was coming back to him. "Oh. Um. What, then? What did you picture?"

  
Akira snorted. "Like, gimp suits. Leather stuff." Then, out of nowhere, Ann's latex Metaverse outfit sprang to mind and he had to bite his cheek to keep from adding it to the list.

  
"Collars, you mean?"

  
"Yeah." He remembered some porn that he really wished he could unwatch. "Bloody stuff. Spiky... clamps, or whatever."

  
"Well I never _said_ I wanted to do that. This isn't... that."

  
Getting him talking made Akira feel better, better enough to smirk at him. "Oh yeah? When you brought up S  & M while we were talking about that request, I asked you if you were an 'M'. Remember? You said the guy's name started with an 'M', like the 'M' in S & M, and I asked you if 'M' stood for Mishima." He laughed at the memory. "You said, 'that's a secret.'"

  
Mishima's eyes went round. "Oooh, I forgot about that - "

  
"Trying to tell me something? Way back then?"

  
_"No - "_

  
"And yet... ?" Akira raised his free hand and gestured at his bedroom, as if to indicate everything that they'd done that evening.

  
"I didn't even know that I _liked_ you then." Mishima scrunched up his face. "Well. Maybe I did. Maybe that was me flirting. Without having to be too direct about it."

  
"So... you're _not_ an 'M'...?"

  
"Geeze, not if it means - spiky things - " Mishima trailed off, but then he let out a short laugh himself. "I don't think I knew what I was talking about."

  
"I don't know much. But I know what the 'M' stands for. Do you?"

  
"No," Mishima admitted.

  
"'Masochism.' Masochists like pain. They get off on it."

  
Mishima sat up abruptly and covered his face with both hands, groaning. "Fuck, why would I say that to you - "

  
"What did you _think_ it meant?" Akira sat up too to try to see his face.

  
"I don't _know,_ I just thought it was - some sex thing - " He turned back to Akira, smiling sheepishly. "I thought it was just the collars. Those leather collar... things."

  
Akira threw back his head and laughed hard. "You _still_ told me you were into some - some sex thing - even if it _was_ just collars, you - " He hooked his arm around Mishima's shoulder and dragged him back down until he was lying on his chest again, still laughing. "Mishima. How could you not at least know you were gay. Bi, I mean. Like, seriously."

  
"Yeah, yeah. I know." He was still smiling. "I think I just didn't want to be."

  
"It's not so bad, is it?"

  
"No." He suddenly reached out and cupped Akira through his pants, under the covers. "Not so bad."

  
"Hey - " Akira squirmed away. "I mean. I'd _like_ to get back to it, but - "

  
"But we still have something to talk about first. Is what you're going to say. Right?"

  
Akira found his hand under the covers. "Can we?"

  
Mishima made a frustrated noise in protest, but nodded against his chest.

  
Akira went first. "So... when you brought up the idea of me being rougher with you in our chat last night... I didn't think I'd like it as much as I did. I knew I liked biting you, and - you know - laying on you, putting my weight on you, but, mmf - " Akira realized he had just made a very Ann-like sound and grinned. "I was sorta just gonna go along with it to see what you liked."

  
"But now... ?"

  
Akira sighed happily. "You look _so_ good when I'm fucking your face."

  
Mishima flushed dark with embarrassment and smacked his chest, not very hard, as he started to laugh again. "Oh, shut up - " He raised his head just so he could glare at him. " - _Kurusu."_

  
"Shit, did I just get demoted?"

  
Mishima was trying to keep a straight face. "Yeah, so you better watch what you say. Or next time you'll just be 'hey, you.'"

  
Akira mimed zipping his lips shut and laughed. It was a while before he spoke again. "Was it too much for you? The face... letting me do that, I mean?"

  
Mishima became very quiet. "No." Akira tilted his head and could just make out that he was smiling to himself. But then he lifted his head to look at Akira straight on, serious again. "I don't get you, though."

  
"What?"

  
He sat up fully next to him, kneeling on the bed in his briefs and socks. "I don't get why you're fine with hauling off and slapping me, but not with seeing a little blood. Why did _that_ freak you out?"

  
"I don't mind blood."

  
"Then - ?"

  
"I told you. When you're marked up, it makes me think of - " They both knew what he was referring to, so he didn't bother to finish his sentence.

  
Mishima pointed his finger at him and raised his eyebrows. "Aha. Exactly. So then why can you _bite_ me? That sure left a mark. Why is _that_ okay with you?"

  
"Am I on trial here?" Akira joked.

  
"No, I just don't... get it."

  
Akira relented. "I think it's just seeing you like that that makes me think of it. Your face. And maybe I don't think of the bite marks the same way because... " A memory resurfaced, and he started to laugh. "Oh, shit, Ann was so mad at me."

  
Mishima started smirking at him; Akira's laughter was infectious. "What did you do?"

  
"Okay, well - " Mishima settled back in, and Akira pulled the covers back over them both. "When she and I started things up, we went a lot slower than you and me did. Or you and her. Lots of times we just kissed. Felt each other up. So I guess I was too into it, and while I was kissing her I left all these hickies up and down her neck, so - "

  
Mishima caught on. "And she's a model, so - "

  
"So she had to cover, like, half a _dozen_ of them up with makeup - "

  
"Oh no - "

  
"And of course the day after that she had a shoot where they wanted her to wear this, I dunno, some kind of shirt. A scoop neck - "

  
"A - ?"

  
"A _scoop neck,_ I think that's what she said, and it showed every single hickey, and the makeup person had to take all this extra time to cover her up better - "

  
"Oh _no - "_

  
"I thought she was going to murder me in my sleep."

  
"Glad _I_ never did that." Mishima was grinning at him.

  
"She told me that if I absolutely _had_ to leave a 'big ugly mark' on her, I'd better make it just one. So then I got all strategic about it."

  
He had Mishima laughing again. "You what?"

  
"Yeah. So then I made it _count._ I - well, you saw her and me when it was the three of us here, overnight. Sometimes, if I timed it right, it'd help her come while I was doing something else to her." Akira still felt weirdly proud as he remembered it. His cock began to show a little interest in what he was thinking about, so he decided to put it out of his mind.

  
"Pretty 'strategic', yeah."

  
"So. That's why it feels different, I think. That's why... like, I don't mind the _idea._ Of doing stuff like that in general, with you. But I don't think hitting you in the face is something I can really do, anymore."

  
Mishima sighed. "Too bad. It felt really... "

  
"Yeah, you're gonna have to explain that one to me. The slapping thing. I don't get how _that_ could feel good."

  
His answer was immediate. "It turned my brain off."

  
It was uncomfortably close to something Mishima had said when he'd come to Leblanc unexpectedly a week ago. "Didn't you say the same thing about... "

  
"Last week, when I was all... fucked up? Yeah, I guess. I mean it more literally this time, though. Like, before, I meant that I wanted to do things for you and Ann to just. Forget. Take my mind off of things. But this really... it was more like fuzz." He made a noise with his mouth that Akira couldn't decipher.

  
"Fuzz?" The meaning of the noise he'd made clicked for him and he got it. "Oh, radio fuzz? Static?"

  
"Yeah! Static. It wasn't just because I was surprised, either. The second time, I knew you were going to hit me before you did. But it still felt the same. Like, a sting - " He gestured to the side of his face where Akira had slapped him. It was still red, and when Akira brought his hand up to touch him, he noticed it was still giving off heat, too. " - and then static."

  
"Geeze, I really got you, though." Akira winced with sympathy pain and swallowed around the lump in his throat. "Don't... don't ask me to do that again, okay?" He felt like crying all over again as he studied the red mark on his cheek and the cut on his lip. _I did that._

  
Mishima finally understood how serious he was. "Okay. I won't," he murmured. He sat up just enough to lean over Akira and kiss him, really just brushing him with his split lip.

  
Mishima laid back against him and sighed. "One more thing to talk about, right?"

  
"Come on. You can do it. Then we're done." Akira found his hand again under the covers and squeezed his fingers.

  
"So you wanted to know if... "

  
"If me hitting you makes you think of... someone else hitting you."

  
"Yeah. It does." He sounded resigned.

  
"Why would you want it, then?" Akira whispered. Part of him was afraid to hear the answer.

  
"It's different. I trust you."

  
"Right. I mean, thanks, but - "

  
Mishima stretched his arm across Akira's belly. "It only made me think of him at first. And then it was like... like you were replacing him. Replacing the memory. Because I know you love me, and I know that if I asked... you'd stop."

  
Akira let himself breathe again. Maybe it wasn't as bad as he'd feared. "So you weren't - scared?"

  
"Maybe a little. More like... good-scared. Rollercoaster-scared."

  
"Do you think... " Akira tread carefully. "Um. Do you think you'd like this kind of thing, if you'd never joined the volleyball team? If he never... "

  
Mishima shook his head. "You're my first - almost my first _everything._ You and Ann, anyway. I don't know what I would've liked, if that had never happened." His voice went quiet. "Do you think it's bad?"

  
"Seemed to make you happy enough." Akira raised his head so he could see him grinning. "Made _me_ happy. Can't be too bad." He started to play with Mishima's hair. "I don't want to hit you anymore because I can't... handle it. Not because I think it's bad."

  
He didn't answer; his eyes had fallen half shut as Akira tugged on his hair. But Akira had one more thing to clear up. "Do you get why I needed to bring it up, though? Why I'd have to make sure... ?"

  
Mishima nodded against his chest. "Yeah. I get it now."

  
"So next time it comes up - the next time it _has_ to come up - can we please just talk it out? No more fighting?"

  
"Sorry. I'll try. I just get all... freaked out."

  
Instead of answering, Akira grabbed a full handful of his hair and pulled until he lifted his head from his chest. Mishima let his eyes slip shut and sighed, only opening his eyes again to glare at Akira. He was snickering at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of the comments left on the last chapter were along the lines of "this chapter is so soft and nice :)" so now of course the next chapter is more fighting and PAIN lol.


	22. Good little students Part Two. "I wanna be nice to you." Too fast.

The weeks went by. The Thieves' Palace work picked up, as it did every so often; they were ultimately successful, and things died down again. Exams were scheduled soon after, and Ann joined Akira and Mishima at Leblanc to study, though when they invited her upstairs, she declined with a smile. It wasn't clear if Ann meant for this to be easier on Mishima or herself, because she wasn't sure either.

  
On the last night before the first day of the exam, Ryuji sent her a chat message and asked her if he could join their study session.

  
ANN: you should ask Akira  
ANN: it's his place  
RYUJI: i'll do that too.  
RYUJI: i just didn't hear anything after that day we talked about that thing with you and them. like, i thought things might've changed back again and if i showed up i'd be a third wheel.  
RYUJI: fourth wheel? lol.  
RYUJI: so i figured i'd ask first.  
ANN: v thoughtful of you, but no. we're the third wheels now bb  
RYUJI: are things... weird? now?  
ANN: maybe just for the first few days  
ANN: I keep having to stop myself from touching them tho  
RYUJI: oho...  
ANN: I meant like holding hands, dumbass  
ANN: lol  
RYUJI: just teasin.  
RYUJI: see you there then.

  
\----------

  
Just like the last time they'd studied for exams, Mishima handled math review and Ann handled English; Akira filled in the gaps. And just as Ann had expected, Ryuji contributed nothing and seemed to expect an entire term's worth of knowledge to come back to him in a single evening's study session. But she tried to be patient with him.

  
"You're close. Your spelling's getting better, at least. You just gotta watch your sentence structure - "

  
He dropped his head onto his notebook and groaned, loud.

  
Mishima reached across the table and clapped him on the shoulder, trying to encourage him. "C'mon, Sakamoto, one more page - "

  
Ryuji just groaned louder. Ann caught sight of a slight movement off to the side of the cafe and watched Sojiro silently indicate to Akira that they should head upstairs.

  
"Psst. Attic." She poked Ryuji in the ribs until he peeled his notes from the side of his face and let her out of the booth.

  
Akira and Mishima had already beaten them there and were setting up the table and chairs. She hung back for a moment and, even though her mind didn't settle on any one specific memory, she felt her face warm up. When the entire team of Thieves filled the attic for a meeting, it held a very different energy than it did when it was just her, Mishima and Akira. Even Ryuji's presence didn't quite dislodge the association. She slid to the end of the couch and shuffled through the papers in her bag, hiding her face until she could calm back down.

  
The couch moved as Ryuji slouched in next to her. Then her phone buzzed.

  
RYUJI: hey.  
RYUJI: you look nice today.

  
She stared at him as if he'd just started speaking in tongues.

  
ANN: uh, what  
ANN: ?  
ANN: still waiting for the punchline here

  
She set her phone down just in time to see him do the same with his. He rolled his eyes at her.

  
"Really. I just think you look nice today," he muttered, trying to keep Akira and Mishima from hearing him. They were seated at the opposite side of the table, sorting through their study sheets.

  
She glanced down at herself, trying to figure out the joke. Her sweater was thick enough that she knew her nipples weren't outlined this time. When she looked at her lap, she confirmed that her skirt was where it should be; she wasn't showing any more leg when she sat down than she usually did. She picked up her phone again.

  
ANN: thanks... ?  
RYUJI: new sweater?  
ANN: yeah actually  
RYUJI: you don't usually wear em.  
RYUJI: looks nice on you.

  
He stuck his phone back in his pocket and unzipped his pencil case.

  
_The hell was that... ?!_

  
The others got down to work, but Ann couldn't focus. By the time they were saying their goodbyes, her sheet of practice problems was just as empty as when she'd sat down in the attic.

  
\----------

  
MISHIMA: Did you coach him or something?  
AKIRA: That obvious, huh?  
MISHIMA: Eesh. I dunno if this is going to work.

  
\----------

  
When Akira left them at the Yongen station, the three of them entered the same train car and clumped together, chatting. Ann was still baffled by what Ryuji could possibly have been trying to get across - _Does he feel sorry for me? Was he just trying to take my mind off of being around Mishima and Akira?_ \- but she tried to put it out of her mind, because Mishima was standing on her other side and there was a mystery to solve there, too.

  
He was finally at peace with her. When they'd seen each other in class or at the train station over the last few weeks, there's been a certain tension. If they hadn't ever become as close as they had, she wouldn't have noticed it. It was something to do with the way he held himself around her, careful to keep a certain amount of space between the two of them at all times. When she spoke to him alone, especially, or asked him a question, there was sometimes a slight pause, as if he were running through different answers in his head before selecting the right one. The easy intimacy they'd had was gone.

  
But now... _Wishful thinking?_

  
It wasn't the same as it had been - maybe it never would be - but it was better. They were jostled together by the commuters behind them as the train slowed and pulled into a station, but when her elbow brushed his arm, he didn't flinch away. He actually paid her no mind, focused instead on something Ryuji was saying to him over her head. She bumped into him a little more forcefully, purely as an experiment, and he turned toward her for a moment.

  
"Sorry, Ann - " He brushed her forearm with his fingertips, as if to take the jostling back, and turned back to listen to Ryuji.

  
"Don't be." She smiled and looked out the window.

  
Mishima's stop was first, where he changed trains; hers would be coming up soon after. She gave him a quick wave and turned back to the window, staring at his reflection passing behind hers in the glass.

  
_What... ?_

  
If she wasn't imagining things, Mishima had just elbowed Ryuji, hard, on his way to the door.

  
"Geeze, are you guys fighting or something... ?"

  
"What would we be fighting about?" He turned away from her, but when she looked back at their reflection, she could see him wincing and rubbing his side through his jacket.

  
"Uh... Well, good luck on your exams, I guess." She pulled her bag closer and got ready for her stop.

  
"Shit - okay - Ann - " He pulled himself out of his usual terrible posture and straightened his back. "You busy? Tonight?"

  
"I _should_ study some more. But I'm not gonna." She watched the speed-blurred landscape outside the window come into focus as the train slowed.

  
He cleared his throat and met her eyes in their reflection in the window. "Wanna come by?"

  
_At least I'm not inviting myself, this time._ "Sure. Why not."

  
\----------

  
Ann twisted her back, first one way, then the other, as she made herself comfortable on Ryuji's couch. This time, when he offered her a can of Coke, she accepted it gratefully. "I - need the - " She covered her mouth and yawned widely enough for her jaw to make a cracking sound - " - _sugar._ Caffeine."

  
He slid one into her hand, cold from the fridge. "Yeah, sounds like." He flung his jacket into his room on his way by and sprawled at his end of the couch, all knees and elbows.

  
She caught his eye and patted her thighs. "Mmm?"

  
"Nah. Well - if you're offering - " He set his Coke on the floor and stretched out, lowering his bad leg to her thighs. His jeans were a tighter fit than his uniform pants, so she had a hard time rolling the cuff above his knee; he had to help her. "There."

  
She stifled another yawn and took a good sized swig of her Coke before setting it aside and putting her thumbs to work on the knots in his muscles. "Geeze, your legs got hairy all of a sudden. Guess I just didn't notice last time I was here."

  
"Gettin' cold outside. Gotta keep warm somehow."

  
"Wanna practice vocab while I work on your leg?"

  
He covered his eyes with his forearm and growled. "Since when are you so... "

  
She made a face that he didn't see. "My live-in caretaker's been cracking down on me a bit lately. I'm sure it's really coming from my parents."

  
"They're pissed about your grades?"

  
"Yeah, but that's not really the reason behind it. I took one beer too many, maybe."

  
He lifted his forearm and stared at her. "Took... ?"

  
"You remember my caretaker. She's chill. We sorta had an unspoken thing where I'd help myself to her shelf of beer in the fridge. As long as I went easy on it and didn't do it too often."

  
He let out a low whistle. "Nice."

  
"Yeah, but I guess I got greedy."

  
He laughed at her. "What, you been goin' on benders every weekend? Shit, Ann."

  
She put on a prim and proper voice. _"No._ That beer was purely for educational purposes." She redoubled her efforts, digging into his muscles. The knots weren't as bad today as they'd been after their last Mementos trip, but just as he'd said, his leg was stiff and sore every day.

  
He snorted. "Sure it was."

  
"You know Mishima. He's kinda the nervous type." She smiled fondly. Even given the space she'd had to put between herself and Mishima, her feelings toward him hadn't changed - not really. He had committed to someone else, but since that was never what she'd been looking for anyway, she was free to reminisce without resentment. She suddenly realized that even now, she still thought of him sometimes as 'her boy', and swallowed a laugh.

  
"Oh, so what, you were educating him on how to... drink?" Ryuji joked. He knew that wasn't what she'd meant. The crooked grin on his face told her so; it wasn't so different from the one he'd only recently stopped giving her while she was wearing her latex catsuit.

  
"Yup. Quick learner, that one."

  
"Bet you were a good teacher."

  
She turned her head and gave him a cool look through her lashes. "Are you asking for a lesson?"

  
"I -"

  
He'd managed to ask her here, and he'd brought up the subject, but her directness completely derailed him. She watched a furious pink flush creep across his face while he left his mouth open, and she couldn't help but giggle in his face. "Ryuji - " She turned forward and focused on his leg again to give him a chance to recover.

  
"W-well - are you offering?"

  
_Am I?_ They'd approached another line, another boundary that she needed to cross very carefully, if at all.

  
It wasn't something she'd been planning for. She'd been so caught up in trying to figure out what the right course was with Mishima and Akira that she'd neglected herself over the last few weeks; and even after she knew she didn't have to worry about Mishima any longer, she simply hadn't had the urge. Before she could consciously consider where things might go tonight, she felt a throb between her legs. Her body was two steps ahead of her.

  
And it wasn't as if she'd been pining for Ryuji, either. In fact, she felt a little stab of guilt when she realized that he'd spent the time to have two surprisingly insightful, heartfelt conversations with her that were both all about her and were also purely for her benefit; that had been weeks ago, and she hadn't even started a new chat convo with him once in the interim. He'd sent her a series of silly gifs to cheer her up on a day that he knew she was upset about her relationship with Mishima, or lack thereof. She hadn't responded, so he'd left her alone.

  
Until today, when he'd complimented her sweater.

  
_Uh oh._

  
She removed her hands from his leg.

  
"We'd better talk. No more joking." She twisted sideways on the couch to face him and he lifted his bad leg from her thighs, then sat up. "What was with that sweater thing?"

  
He furrowed his brow. "What, I can't just - notice somethin' like that? Tell you I like your shirt?"

  
_"Is_ that all you meant, though? Did you ask me over so you could compliment the rest of my outfit, too?"

  
"Well, _no,_ but - "

  
She took another pull from her can of Coke to give herself a moment to think. _Come on. You don't have to be mean to him._

  
She tried to soften her expression. "I'm not gonna make fun of you. But you gotta tell me what you mean. What you want."

  
He looked unhappy and unsure of himself, and it didn't seem as though he was about to speak, so she tried to get him started. "Saying something nice about what I'm wearing is what you do if you want a girlfriend, if you ask me. Saying you want what I had with Mishima is... something else."

  
He heaved a sigh and looked out the window behind the couch. "I don't... shit, Ann. I was being nice. Trying to be."

  
"Being nice, and - ?"

  
He looked defiant now. Angry, maybe. "The fuck are all these questions for? What's wrong with - with seeing where things end up?"

  
She could feel a fight coming. Maybe she could head it off before it started. She took a long, steadying breath and tried to smooth out her voice. "Ryuji. You've been good to me the last little while. I should have told you that."

  
"Well, I. I tried."

  
"You really helped. And I followed your advice."

  
"Yeah. I asked Mishima about it and he told me how things went down."

  
She smiled at him. "How'd he seem to you?"

  
"I hadn't talked to him too much for a long while, but. Think you guys've been good for him. He's a lot less... freaked out lately. Like, I don't mean since that night you told me about. I mean since I knew him a couple years ago. Middle school."

  
_What?_ "What was he freaked out about back then?"

  
"I guess you never hung out with him much yourself. He got shit from bullies a lot." He laughed suddenly and she saw his shoulders relax a little. "Plus I think that's just how he is. Nervous little dude. Like you said."

  
"But he's better now... ?"

  
His eyebrows shot up and he grinned. _"Yeah!_ Geeze, I couldn't believe it. Givin' _me_ advice."

  
"About what?"

  
"You."

  
_There it is._ "Ryuji. Are you going to tell me what the deal is, or what."

  
He put both palms up as if to ward her off. "He didn't give me any details about you. What you guys got up to. I didn't ask, either. He said it wouldn't be classy to... to talk like he was in a locker room? Somethin' like that. I guess I get what he means."

  
She grinned at that, wide. "That was me and Akira's policy when we, um. Brought him into things. Like, not to share details unless everyone was on board. I guess he's doing the same thing."

  
"That's cool. But. Anyway. I guess I did, like. Bring you here with somethin' in mind. I talked to him about it first because I wanted to make double sure that he'd be fine with it. If anything even did happen between me n' you."

  
_Now we're getting somewhere._ "And?"

  
"Gave me his blessing, or whatever. He said he's got Akira and it's not fair for him to, like. Claim you, or whatever. Said he's happy, n' he wants you to be happy too."

  
"You make him sound like the pope or something."

  
He rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

  
"Well. Whatever happens. I'm glad you talked to him. Because yeah, he's not my keeper, or whatever, but I don't want to hurt him, either."

  
He stretched his legs out in front of him. "He's my bud from old times. I'm not gonna be a - what'd you say before? A homewrecker, either."

  
"I keep telling you! There was no home to wreck." She felt a little better about the way things might go, now that she knew Mishima's feelings, so she scooched down the couch until she could hook her forearm around his at his side. "Are you going to tell me what you want out of this?"

  
He leaned his head against hers and sighed, staring straight ahead. It was hard for him to be direct. It took him a long moment to get the words out. "Maybe what Mishima n' you had. Or Akira n' you had. Or maybe, uh. A more usual thing. A girlfriend. Like, I wanna be nice to you."

  
Even in his t-shirt, he was like a furnace; she could feel the body heat from his arm even through her sweater. "Maybe I wanna be nice to you, too." But then she laughed. "Do you think if we had sex only - nothing romantic - we wouldn't be... nice? To each other?"

  
"Yes?"

  
She suddenly felt very certain that if things went forward the way she thought they might, she was going to have to give some version of the Porn Isn't Real talk once again. "Maybe I can tell you a few details about what I did with Mishima and Akira. It might make this make more sense to you."

  
"Well, don't... don't tell me anythin' they wouldn't want you to. Akira's my buddy, too."

  
"Just vague stuff," she assured him. They both stared straight ahead as she made a list. "Okay, so. With both of them, we kissed. We slept in the same bed. I made Mishima dinner, and Akira made us both dinner. If I got a... cut, Akira always disinfected it for me." She didn't have a lot of experience with watching porn, for the very good reason that she'd hated everything she'd tried to watch, but she tried to think of some more relevant examples. "There were a few times with Akira where I got sore and I couldn't keep going. He understood. Or, for both of them, when they finished first, they'd get me after. They'd make sure I came." She let a fond smile surface again. "They were nice to me. And I was nice to them."

  
"Oh." When she peered up at his face, she saw it was very red. But he looked down at her and smiled back.

  
"See what I mean? We could be... nice. You don't have to be romantic to be nice. And, you know - if something doesn't work out - I'm still friends with both of them. We can still be friends. Right?"

  
"I think so." His brow was furrowed again, and he was still red-faced and anxious. But he untangled his arm from hers, leaned down, and kissed her.

  
Ryuji was a terrible kisser.

  
"Umph - hey - stop - " She finally extricated herself from his arms and sat up, then wiped some of his saliva from her face. "No, it's fine, just - "

  
She'd hurt his feelings. "Fuckin'... never mind, then." He crossed his arms and stared at the far corner of the room.

  
"Ryuji."

  
He wouldn't look at her.

  
_"Ryuji."_

  
He was motionless except for his knee, jittering up and down. He exhaled heavily through his nose.

  
_Fine._ She got up and stood in front of him, then lowered herself into his lap and straddled his hips, her knees resting on the couch on either side of him. She murmured into his ear. "Come on. We can try again. Just... slower, okay?"

  
He blew out his breath in her ear, noisily, then nodded against her.

  
She tried to lead by example and kissed him softly, her lips closed. At first it seemed like she'd gotten through to him; his breathing slowed and she felt the muscles in his chest and stomach relax against her. But it didn't last long. He shoved his tongue into her mouth, and when she tried to pull away, he tightened his arms around her waist.

  
Ann finally freed her mouth. "Ryujiiiiiiii... " she groaned. But then she started laughing and pressed her face to his shoulder.

  
_"What."_ She felt his muscles tense up against her all over again.

  
"I'm laughing at me, not you." She grinned and gave him a quick kiss on his jaw. "You're just like me."

  
He buried his face in her hair and sighed against her shoulder, sounding resigned. "What does _that_ mean."

  
"I always wanted to go too fast too. And then I'd just have to make myself slow down and start over." She leaned back enough to see his face again, to show him she wasn't upset or displeased. "But, I mean. Maybe that's just how we are. You and me."

  
Ann angled her hips away and reached between them until she'd found his zipper. "Let's go fast."

\----------

  
Ann slowly unzipped Ryuji's jeans, trying to be careful; she leaned against his chest and worked by touch alone. He still seemed to be unsure of where they stood after she'd stopped kissing him the second time and left his arms by his sides, carefully avoiding her thighs.

  
Ann had made it to his underwear and, after a moment's fumbling, slid her fingers between his jeans and his briefs. But apparently things weren't going the way she'd thought.

  
_He's not... ?_

  
She leaned back and sat on his thighs, studying his face. He looked back, ashamed.

  
_Too fast._

  
She ran through possible scenarios in her mind. She knew that she didn't want to go back to kissing him, and he might feel too self-conscious to try it again now even if she had. There was no beer to relax him, like she'd done with Mishima. Akira had taken the lead during her first time with him, to the point that she'd barely been able to keep up, and she'd never had this issue with him in all the evenings she'd spent with him since.

  
She did have one idea. She knelt upright and pressed her chest against his again.

  
"Hey, Ryuji," she murmured into his ear.

  
"Mm."

  
"You've been going to the gym, right? Can I see your progress?"

  
He leaned back against the couch, putting space between them again so he could look her in the eye. His brow was furrowed again and he wore a wary expression, but she could tell she'd made the right call. Ryuji had never been shy about showing off his physique.

  
Maybe for good reason. He hadn't finished pulling his shirt over his head before she was running her fingertips over his muscles. The way he was sitting brought his abs to the forefront, and she realized she was admiring them for their own sake, not just to flatter him.

  
_Geeze, I really DON'T have a type._

  
She almost laughed at herself again but held it back; now was not the time for him to hear it and think it was directed at him. He lay still, sprawled back against the couch and watching her face as she splayed her palms over his pecs.

  
"These are new, huh?"

  
He finally gave her a sunny grin. Relief washed over her. Even if nothing wound up happening between the two of them, she'd never intended to injure his pride. "Got further to go if I'm going for, like, definition. But they're comin' along."

  
"Flex!"

  
He did and she laughed, delighted. She thumped him lightly in the chest with her fist. "Man, you're _solid_ now." She grinned herself. "You're not gonna get _too_ huge though, are you? All veiny?"

  
He stretched his arm along the back of the couch and she watched what it did to his chest, fascinated. "Nah. Bodybuildin's not for me."

  
She settled back on his lap again; it could just be that the angle was wrong to tell for sure, but she thought that things still hadn't progressed. "You're, uh. Kinda making me warm. Mind if I take my sweater off?"

  
It was a pretty dumb line, but he didn't seem to mind. "If it makes you more comfortable."

  
"Psht. Come _on._ 'If it makes you more... ' What kind of answer is _that?"_ She unbuttoned it but he wasn't looking at her; he had rested the back of his head on the top of the couch and was staring at the ceiling.

  
She couldn't see his face very well, but she heard a little frustration creep into his voice. "Ugh. Ann. I don't really... I don't get what you want from me."

  
"You could look at me while I'm undressing for you, for a start." She shrugged out of her sweater, leaving her wearing only a thin tank, her skirt and her stockings. He angled his face back towards her, but not all the way; he only stole glances at her from the corner of his eye, apparently unable to look at her for long. He left his hand at his side. "You okay?"

  
"Yeah."

  
He was acting utterly unlike himself. After their first try at dating the year before had left such a bad taste in her mouth, she hadn't spared the idea of involving herself with him another thought until tonight. But if she had, she definitely wouldn't have imagined it like this. "Jesus, Ryuji, I thought I'd have to beat you off with a stick if we ever got together like this."

  
His eyes lit up. "Beat me off... ?" He tipped his head back again, but this time it was to laugh at her. "I mean, if you insist."

  
He tensed up, and she realized he was expecting her to slap at his chest and scold him like she always did when he said something vulgar to her. _Oh. That's what this is._

  
Things would never change if she kept falling back into old habits. Instead of recoiling she draped herself over him, crossing her forearms behind his head and pressing her chest to his. "That's the idea. If you're up for it."

  
His breathing picked up, but his hands remained at his sides.

  
_He needs permission._ She moved her mouth to his ear. "I want you to touch me."

  
He let out a deep sigh as he finally let his hands run up her thighs. She wore black thigh high stockings and he skimmed his fingertips lightly along the material, slowly reaching higher. When he touched her skin, he stopped. She sank back down into his lap and glanced in the direction of his open fly - _still nothing?_ \- before meeting his eyes again.

  
_Oh, Ryuji._ He was red-faced and anxious all over again.

  
_Be patient._ She lifted herself up off of him and sat down on the couch. But she still wanted to be close to him, so she stretched out and carefully laid in his lap, the back of her head resting on his thigh. "This okay? For your leg?"

  
He nodded down at her and looked away, his forehead creased with worry lines.

She grabbed his forearm and slung it across her chest. "So. Maybe we have something to talk about first?"

  
Stony silence.

  
"Are you... worried about something?"

  
At least he was looking at her now.

  
Maybe a change of topic was in order. "Was it your pecs Akira was checking out? When you caught him looking at you?"

  
His hand was resting limply on her belly, but his fingers twitched in surprise when he heard what she'd said. "Uh. What makes you say that?"

  
"He told me you had 'actual pecs' in our chat a few weeks ago." She smiled up at him, upside down. "I see what he means now."

  
He flexed again just to make her laugh. "Heh. I think he was lookin' a little lower down. We were at the bathhouse when I caught him."

  
Her eyes went wide. "Oooh... I forgot you boys did that sometimes." She felt her heart thump a little faster in her chest and actually did laugh at herself, this time. _You're getting predictable._

  
Her face must have given her away. He looked thrilled. "Geeze, you're fuckin' dirty."

  
_Might as well own it?_ "Never knew that about me, didja."

  
"Never even guessed it." She looked down and watched his hand stir against the fabric of her tank top, just a little. "Wait, you guys talk about me?"

  
"Well, it's not like we gossip. It was mainly just that one time. Otherwise it was only when we were talking about Thief stuff. Making plans for meetings or whatever."

  
"Why would my _pecs_ come up, though."

  
_Shit._ "Uh. I think he was trying to sell me on your finer points after I mentioned you were offering me your dick pics."

  
He turned his face away again. "Oh."

  
"If it makes you feel any better, I wouldn't mind seeing them, now."

  
Ann watched him make a loose fist on top of her belly, then relax his fingers again. "See, this is - this is why I don't get what you want from me," he repeated. His voice was sharp.

  
"What, you don't get why I wouldn't want your - ?! Come _on,_ Ryuji - " Just like before, she felt a fight looming, so she took a second to get her breathing back under control. She sighed. "Okay. Why don't you explain it to me, then."

  
"You got all pissed at me when I asked if you wanted... those... but, like, you've been hooking up with two dudes at _the same time?_ For months? Or even just - I stopped checkin' you out, just like I said. And then I thought that sweater thing, saying you look nice or whatever, is what you're supposed to do. But you flipped out at me for that too. And now you're all over me, but you act all _disgusted_ when I try to kiss you." He groaned and let his head fall back against the top of the couch, staring at the ceiling again. "Like, _fuck,_ Ann."

  
She'd opened her mouth to respond, but he wasn't done. "And you just... go n' tell Akira that behind my back? Seriously?"

  
She swallowed what she'd wanted to fire back at him. "You're right. I shouldn't have. Sorry. I was just... mad, and I happened to be chatting with him when you asked."

  
He sighed. He was waiting for the rest of her answer.

  
Ann thought hard. "I'm not ignoring you, I'm just trying to think of how to - well. Okay. For the sweater thing. You didn't do it wrong. Most girls like that. Or at least take it as a compliment. I think I was just surprised. It didn't sound like you." As she put her thoughts to words, she realized why that was. "That's what Mishima gave you advice on, didn't he?"

  
He peered down at her face, looking more embarrassed than angry for the moment. "Both of 'em did. I talked to Mishima about you guys' status, or whatever, and he told me I should treat you a bit nicer. Let you know I'm interested that way. He musta told Akira too, because he starts up with all this shit about compliments." He grimaced. "Guess I can't tell any one of you somethin' without the other two knowing, now."

  
"Maybe not anymore, though." She played her fingers up and down his forearm. "You didn't do it wrong," she repeated. "It was nice." She remembered something else he'd said. "I think... I think this is all about... Like, it's not what you say, it's how you say it. Complimenting my new shirt versus... dick pics. Akira didn't let me know he was interested in starting something up with me with... anything like that. That stuff comes later. Know what I mean?"

  
"I guess."

  
"So... I probably still should have gone a bit slower with you. Tonight. I thought we were on the same page, but." She shrugged against him.

  
"Yeah, tonight, uh, didn't really go how I was picturing it."

  
He didn't look happy, exactly, but he did look more relaxed. Not angry or anxious, at least. She smiled up at him. "What were you picturing?"

  
"You're just gonna be mad." He started to comb his fingers gently through her hair, still strewn every which way across his lap.

  
"Promise I won't be."

  
"Well... I met you in middle school. You're cute. I guess I'd sorta think every once in a while what it'd be like if you were my girlfriend."

  
"Aw."

  
"Just sometimes. Not really seriously. I woulda just asked you out before last year if I was serious about it."

  
She nodded up at him. It wasn't that far off from how she'd felt herself, at least until their week long relationship had gone so disastrously. Idle thoughts, and nothing more. "So then you were picturing... ?"

  
"Oh, y'know. Holding hands n' shit. Watching a movie or somethin'."

  
"Yeah, I guess that's probably how it's supposed to go. Why would I be mad about that, though?"

  
"You didn't let me finish. I was gonna say that part of me was picturing it that way, just because I've known you so long. Like, maybe that was middle school me talkin'. But this other part of me... " His crooked grin was back, and she had some idea of what he was going to say. She started to grin back at him. "Well. When you told me you'd been having fuckin'... fuckin' _orgies_ on the weekends, this other part of me started to get ideas."

  
She still wasn't prepared. She rolled onto her side, curled up against him and laughed until tears streamed down her face. _"Ryuji - Christ -"_

  
"You're not denying it!"

  
She was laughing too hard to answer and just buried her face into his belly. She finally managed to sputter out, "It was _one time -"_

  
He rested one hand on her side and played with her hair with the other until she was done laughing.

\----------

  
They fell into silence, but it was an easy silence. She pressed her face against his warm skin and listened to him breathe above her.

  
Ann spoke first. "You smell good," she mumbled directly into his belly.

  
"Can't imagine why."

  
"Just... boy smell."

  
He snorted, and she thought that he might make some comment about her weekend activities again, but he just kept stroking her hair instead.

  
It looked like it was up to her to move things along. "So... which part of you wins? The part that wants a girlfriend, or the part that just wants... ?"

  
Ryuji shifted his leg under her head and sighed. "Fuck if I know."

  
"Well. I dunno if I really want a relationship right now. I keep thinking that thing with Mishima will happen all over again with you, instead."

  
He tugged on one of her pigtails, just hard enough to make her roll her head back and look up at him. "You think I'm gonna fall in love with you or some shit? Doubt it."

  
She rolled the rest of the way onto her back and pulled his arm against her until his hand was resting on her belly again. "Gee, thanks."

  
"You know what I mean. Sounds like you're not into that anyway."

  
"Yeah, guess that's not my thing. Not right now, at least." She peered up at his face, trying to figure him out. "Then if we both want to just... " She tried to keep her voice gentle. "What's the deal, tonight? You're not as... enthusiastic, as I thought you'd be."

  
He sounded defensive. "Yeah, well. You told me how shitty it made you feel when I used to check you out in your Panther suit. And then you were all weird when I just said I liked your _shirt._ And _then_ you don't wanna kiss me, either. Doesn't really give me the green light, y'know?"

  
She moved his arm away and sat up. "Is _that_ all this is? You're not sure if... ?"

  
He was glaring at her. "I ain't into forcin' it. Forcin'... girls."

  
She jumped off of the couch and was back to straddling his lap before he could react. "Whoa - "

  
"Ryuji." She laughed out of relief. This wasn't going to be a problem after all. "I _told_ you I want you to touch me. So touch me."

  
"Yeah, but - "

  
Maybe a visual would help. She settled back onto his thighs again and pulled her tank over her head without further preamble.

  
_That's more like it._ Ryuji rewarded her with a dazed expression, eyes locked onto her chest. She hadn't had any idea of what she'd be getting herself into today, so she'd dressed for comfort; she wore a blue underwire bra, lacking in lace or any other adornment. But he seemed to like it just fine.

  
"Wow."

  
He hadn't made a move yet, so she grabbed his wrists and planted his hands firmly on the cups of her bra. The face he made was priceless.

  
"So you're really - you're up for this? With me?" He was absolutely beaming, although he didn't seem to realize that he had left his hands where they were, motionless.

  
She gave him a double thumbs up and a cheery grin. "Green light, Ryuji." Then she reached behind herself and undid her bra for him, letting it fall to the floor.

  
_Finally._ He put both hands back and groped her roughly, squeezing until she winced. "Oof. Bit softer."

  
"Sorry, sorry - !" He played with her breasts, rolling them upwards; his thumb ran across one of her nipples and her hips jumped forward, seemingly without any input from her.

  
Of course he noticed. "What was _that?"_ He grinned and flicked at her nipples with his thumbs, trying to make it happen again.

  
The last of her patience evaporated. With Mishima, she'd made herself slow down so many times, and she'd been doing the same with Ryuji; as best she could, anyway. But she'd had enough teasing, had enough of having to slam on the brakes after barely having begun. Every time he squeezed her, every time he brushed against her nipples, she felt a heat building deep down in her lower abdomen, and she couldn't stand it any longer.

  
_Let's go fast._

  
She leaned against his chest, his hands trapped between them. When she snaked her hand back down to his open fly and slid her fingers between his pants and his briefs again, she sighed with satisfaction. She knew what she wanted, and now she knew she was going to get it. "Why don't you show me what you've got?" she murmured. Then she stood in front of him, reached under her skirt and slipped out of her panties.

  
That was when they both heard the sound of his mom's key in the lock of the front door.

  
_"Shit - my room's over there - hide - "_

  
Ann grabbed her clothing and sprinted for his room while he tried to zip up his jeans around his erection and yank his t-shirt back on at the same time. She kicked over her half-full can of Coke and banged her elbow on the doorframe, but she made it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys see this coming or what, lol


	23. Harem. Reduced numbers. "You don't have to ask now."

ANN: I am never going to your place again. everrr  
RYUJI: my mom said i should invite you to have dinner with us sometime...  
ANN: fuck  
ANN: lol  
ANN: what did you even tell her???  
RYUJI: well. i tried to pretend everything was normal so i just started cleanin up that coke you spilled.  
RYUJI: thanks, btw.  
ANN: oh shut up  
ANN: how did she know I was there then?  
RYUJI: she just let me pretend while she talked to me and she kept bringin you up, and i couldn't figure out why. kept askin me shit like 'are you still friends with that cute little takamaki-chan?'  
RYUJI: meanwhile i keep checkin the floor to make sure 'cute little takamaki-chan' didn't leave her panties out in the living room.  
ANN: asdflkjd  
RYUJI: i figured i'd have to get you out of there somehow, so i told her i had you over to look at manga. since she knew you were there anyway.  
ANN: did she buy it?  
RYUJI: lol what do you think?  
RYUJI: my mom's sharp.  
RYUJI: but she went along with it, at least.  
ANN: when you said I should come out I felt like I was going out to face the firing squad...  
ANN: good thing I got dressed right away

  
She was safe at home now, sprawled out on her bed; all the same, her heartbeat picked up as she remembered it.

  
RYUJI: after you left she kept talkin about how nice you are.  
RYUJI: maybe i should tell her about your boys  
ANN: shut uuuuuup  
ANN: hey, you never answered me. how did she know?  
RYUJI: your boots by the door.  
ANN: oh...  
ANN: well shit  
RYUJI: some phantom thief you are lol.  
ANN: you didn't remember either!  
ANN: bet you still had your dick out by the time she opened the door ;)  
RYUJI: psht. no.  
RYUJI: close one though...  
ANN: actually. I guess I never got to see it  
ANN: where are you right now?  
RYUJI: my room. why?  
ANN: got your door locked?

  
She sat up and made sure her own door was locked. She'd told her caretaker that she was going to continue studying for her exams, so she wasn't likely to be interrupted - but better safe than sorry.

  
RYUJI: mine doesn't. but my mom learned not to just barge in a long time ago.  
RYUJI: why though?  
ANN: you KNOW why. god Ryuji  
RYUJI: maybe i just wanna hear you say it.

  
It made sense, after all the mixed signals, and after the way she'd reacted the last time he'd offered to send her photos.

  
ANN: show me! I wanna see  
ANN: here, I'll go first

  
She shimmied out of her skirt and stretched out on her back again. Then she angled her hips upward, pulled her panties a little tighter and took a photo between her spread thighs.

  
RYUJI: oh nice.  
RYUJI: those are hot.  
RYUJI: didn't know you went in for that girly shit. bows or whatever.  
ANN: it's hard to find panties that DON'T have them, sometimes  
ANN: I used to snip em off with scissors lol  
ANN: guess I'm more okay with girly shit now though  
ANN: anyway, it's yoooooour tuuuuurn  
RYUJI: you sure?  
ANN: v sure  
ANN: green light, Ryuji :)  
ANN: I really do wanna see  
ANN: unless you already finished without me! ;)  
RYUJI: what, before now? lol, no. nothing like havin your mom walk in to kill your boner.  
RYUJI: i think i can help you out though.

  
He made her wait for several minutes. She laughed to herself, picturing him carefully selecting only the finest dick pic to send.

  
RYUJI: there.

  
His photography skills were not the best. He'd taken the photo while lying on his back, which should have given her a clear view of it, but his desk lamp was half obscured by his cock, so all she could see was a featureless shadowy shape silhouetted by a bright halo of light behind it. He'd circled the base with his thumb and forefinger, so she could guess from his hand that he was somewhere around average size, give or take several inches, but that was about it.

  
Now wasn't really the time to critique him though, so she bit her tongue.

  
ANN: oooh  
ANN: yesssss  
ANN: wish you'd come home with me  
RYUJI: oh yeah? what makes you say that?  
ANN: so I could get a better look. duh  
ANN: we were so close! aggggh  
RYUJI: ikr. she didn't even come home early. we just wasted all our time talking.  
ANN: having her walk in like that kinda put me off your place. sorry. think you'd better pay me a visit this weekend  
ANN: unless you have better things to do  
RYUJI: lol, look at you tryin to be all cute n shit. you know i don't.  
RYUJI: i'll come by on one condition.  
ANN: what?  
RYUJI: you gotta send me more than just a pantyshot. come on already.

  
_That's more like it._

  
She kicked her panties into the far corner of her room and paid herself some attention. She pressed her first two fingers in, just far enough to slick them up and down, then jolted in surprise - she was far wetter than she'd thought. She took the photo from between her thighs again, this time with the wet fingertips of her free hand spreading herself open, just a little. When she checked the photo before she sent it, she noticed that her first two fingers were trailing a little string of stickiness between them. Her lips were shiny too, dark with arousal.

  
RYUJI: shiiiiiiiiiit.  
RYUJI: you ARE fuckin dirty.  
RYUJI: you're way better at this than me, lol.  
ANN: lotsa practice, that's all  
RYUJI: you're really that wet though? just from talkin to me?  
ANN: think it's more like I'm STILL wet  
ANN: we got so close!  
ANN: Ryuji, if I don't do something right fucking now I'm gonna explode. I'll talk to you in a minute

  
She tossed her phone to the bedspread without waiting to see if he'd responded and hauled out a shoebox that she kept under her bed. Akira had bought a dildo for her, months and months ago, though she almost never used it; she usually preferred her fingers or her bullet vibe when she was alone, and by the time she was starting to crave the feeling of being filled up, she'd find an excuse to visit Leblanc's attic sooner. Or, later on, she'd waited to have her turn with Mishima. Of course, all of that was in the past, now.

  
_Desperate times..._ Ann knew from experience that she had trouble getting the angle right when she was laying on her back, so she knelt upright on her bedspread and slid the toy in. Wetness was not a problem, so it sank into her farther and faster than she'd intended; she gasped and winced. She'd never really liked it. It was too hard, much harder than the real thing at least, and Akira had chosen what she thought of as a gross flesh tone. But now wasn't the time to be picky. She pressed the heel of her other hand to her clit roughly and pulled the toy back out, then fingered herself impatiently until she felt a little more ready. This time she set its base on her bed and sank down onto it, trying to keep her breathing quiet.

  
_Much better._

  
She held the base steady with one hand and rolled her hips, listening to it schlk in and out, and remembered Ryuji. He still hadn't responded; he must have been busy himself.

  
_I can be nice._ She picked up her phone and set it directly beneath herself, right next to her toy, and angled it to show her lips, stretched wide around the toy. Her shadow blocked the light, so it wasn't her finest work, but she thought it got the message across. She sent it.

  
ANN: wish you were here

  
Ryuji had entered some text, but after waiting a minute or so, he still hadn't sent it. _You're on your own, buddy._ She grinned and went back to work.

  
She finally found the right angle and couldn't help but let out a ragged gasp, grinding down on her toy again and again until her clit throbbed, neglected; then she switched gears. She left the toy inside, stretched out on her back and attacked her clit. It didn't take long. She felt her muscles tighten around the toy and shoved it deeper with one hand while stroking her clit frantically with the index finger of her other hand.

  
It had been too long. She threw her upper arm across her mouth and bit into her skin to keep from screaming, her finger still stroking all the while; she came hard enough to see sparks as her back arched, her thighs clamped shut around the toy. She finally relaxed and went limp, still trying to catch her breath. Her stomach muscles felt weak.

  
Her chat window told her Ryuji was still typing.

  
ANN: you alive?

  
She pulled out the toy with a shiver and wiped off the stickiness with a tissue, then chucked it back in its box and shoved it under her bed; she'd clean it more thoroughly later. She got up to find her panties and was pulling them on when she heard him finally respond.

  
RYUJI: barely.  
RYUJI: probly should've taken my shirt off...  
ANN: shit yes  
ANN: show me bb  
RYUJI: what? fuck no. don't be gross.  
RYUJI: why the hell would you wanna see that.

  
She laughed at herself, louder than she'd intended. She was still flushed with endorphins and everything seemed funny.

  
ANN: lol. I think I've been influenced  
ANN: nvm  
ANN: did you have a good one?  
RYUJI: i... guess?  
RYUJI: feels weird to talk about it with you.  
ANN: gets easier  
RYUJI: maybe for you!  
RYUJI: did you really mean to send me that last one? was that... ?  
ANN: what?  
RYUJI: was that an old one you sent by accident?

  
She still felt slow and dazed.

  
ANN: I don't get you  
RYUJI: i sorta don't wanna know, but. was that akira or mishima?

  
It clicked and Ann started giggling, no longer trying to be quiet.

  
ANN: omgggggg  
ANN: RYUJI THAT'S A TOY  
ANN: did you really think I'd send you pics of some other dude's dick???

  
She was cackling like a loon now and she rolled onto her side, trying to muffle her laughter with a pillow.

  
RYUJI: you could've by accident!  
RYUJI: fuck, how should i know it's a toy?  
ANN: well, it's all shiny...  
ANN: also, I notice you came anyway, even thinking it WAS some other dude...  
ANN: huehuehue  
RYUJI: lol. nice try. there's all kinds of dicks in porn, too, but somehow that ain't a problem for me either.  
RYUJI: you're just tryin to add me to your harem.  
ANN: would that be so bad? ;)  
RYUJI: i'm straight, you demon.  
RYUJI: take your horny goggles off lol.  
ANN: lol. k sorry  
ANN: you feel a bit better about the idea now, though, right? did that clear things up?  
RYUJI: do i feel better about... sleeping with you? next time? yeah, i guess i do.  
RYUJI: i guess i sorta half believed that you were gonna go 'haha, gotcha' and laugh at me or somethin. n then leave.  
ANN: aw. I'm not like that  
ANN: do girls even do that???  
RYUJI: fuck if i know. maybe.  
ANN: well, you've got my pics now. does that help show I'm serious?  
RYUJI: yeah.  
RYUJI: i can enjoy that last one more now that i know it's not my buddy i'm lookin at, lol.  
ANN: aw, aren't I your buddy? :P  
RYUJI: mm. yeah, wtf are we now?  
ANN: ?  
RYUJI: are we dating?  
ANN: nah  
ANN: well, I mean. I didn't assume this would mean we were boyfriend and girlfriend  
ANN: I guess we could talk about it  
RYUJI: don't take it the wrong way, but i don't really feel romantic or anythin towards you.  
ANN: we sorta already decided before, didn't we? just friends?  
ANN: you said you just wanted to see how things went. right?  
RYUJI: guess i did say that.  
ANN: my house is empty on the weekend. come by after school on Saturday. we'll 'see how things go' some more  
RYUJI: well shit. how could i turn down an offer like that?  
RYUJI: i'll be there.

\----------

  
Ann zipped up her pencil case and packed up her things on Wednesday afternoon. Despite the afternoon she'd spent at Ryuji's on Sunday, and the chat she'd had with him after she'd gotten home, she was still able to focus on her exams more than she'd expected, and she felt good about the essay question she'd just finished writing. Studying with Akira and Mishima had definitely helped. She watched the two of them leave, headed to the arcade by the sound of it, and smiled to herself.

  
She'd been spending a lot more time on her own than she had when she'd been involved with the two of them, of course. It was to be expected. After she'd broken things off with Mishima, they'd kept inviting her to Leblanc, or to the movies, and though they hid it well, she knew it was at least partially out of politeness. Out of consideration for her feelings. She decided to be gracious and bowed out. She didn't lie. When they asked if she was free on the days that she had a shoot scheduled, she told them so; when her schedule was clear, she shook her head with a smile and headed home alone. After a week or two of pleasant 'no's, they stopped asking.

  
A little more of her time was taken up by studying than it had been before, and her grades had started to improve. She played more mobile games and went window shopping in Harajuku a little more frequently. She subbed in for a few more shoots than she otherwise might have. The ache she'd felt when she'd had to separate from the two of them was actually lessened every time she saw them, clearly happy together.

  
She finally felt certain, really certain, that what she'd felt for Mishima wasn't love and never had been. At least, not the kind that he and Akira felt for each other.

  
Still. That didn't mean she had to spend _every_ afternoon all by her lonesome.

  
ANN: hey  
RYUJI: hey yourself.  
ANN: think you passed that one?  
RYUJI: enh.  
RYUJI: i'll care when the results are posted.  
ANN: wanna catch a movie?  
ANN: I can cover you if you're broke  
RYUJI: lol.  
RYUJI: takin me out on a date? thought we weren't gonna do that.  
ANN: doesn't have to be one  
ANN: arcade?

  
She remembered as soon as she'd sent it that Akira and Mishima were headed there themselves and kicked herself. She didn't want to avoid them, exactly, but she didn't want to intrude on their time together, either.

  
RYUJI: i got a better idea, actually.  
RYUJI: think you'd be up for it today?  
ANN: up for what?

  
She knew exactly what he was talking about, of course. She stuck her phone in her pocket and left her classroom, then walked the handful of steps to his and peered in the doorway. Just as she'd expected, he was still sitting at his desk, tapping into his phone.

  
RYUJI: you know.  
RYUJI: what we were gonna do on the weekend.

  
She answered him from the doorway, then slipped into his classroom.

  
ANN: just say fuck, Ryuji. usually you're so good at it ;)

  
She was merciless, and her timing was perfect. She slammed her hand down onto his desk, just loudly enough to make him jump and fumble his phone.

  
"Where're we headed, then?" She gave him her sweetest smile. Some of his classmates were staring, and she reveled in it.

  
He looked as though he wanted to glare at her, but couldn't quite manage it; the corner of his mouth kept twitching upwards. "I'll, uh... tell you at the train station."

  
\----------

  
Ann wobbled on her feet and clutched her stomach. "Oof - geeze, Ry- _Skull._ You coulda warned me."

  
"Easier to hit the Nav than waste time explainin' it to you." His Metaverse outfit had taken the place of his school uniform, and when she looked down at herself, she saw familiar red latex.

  
_"Mementos_ though? Seriously? Gotta be the least sexy place I can think of." She pictured the viscera that made up the walls of the lower levels they'd been exploring recently and scrunched up her face.

  
He just grinned and came closer. "You sounded pretty into it when you were in my class... " He settled his gloved hands on her hips and stroked the latex of her catsuit with his thumbs.

  
She started to laugh. "I think I was picturing a love hotel or something." She tipped his Skull mask up onto his forehead, then did the same to her Panther mask. "I mean, it's not that I don't _want_ to... " She slid her thigh between his and inched it upwards.

  
"Uh, I really don't think they'd give us a room. In our freakin' uniforms, even." He tilted his face to hers and kissed her.

  
Maybe he'd taken what she'd said before to heart. His kissing was more restrained, and he let her decide when she wanted to part her lips before he inserted just the tip of his tongue into her mouth. His lips were warm and a bit rough. She leaned into him and felt something uncoil deep down in her abdomen.

  
She broke off and stood on her tiptoes to murmur in his ear. "You got better! Find someone to practice with?"

  
_"No,"_ he shot back, sounding defensive, though his face lit up all the same. "Read about it online."

  
Ann threw back her head and laughed, hard; it echoed back like a chorus from the tile walls around them. If she was completely honest, she hadn't expected him to take such initiative, if it could be called that. A pleasant surprise. "Good boy." His hand trailed up the latex to the small of her back and he tried to pull her close again, but she laid her palm on his chest to stop him. "Mm. Top floor, though? You sure?"

  
He shrugged. "Ain't it the nicest? As far as Mementos goes? No Shadows, either."

  
"Yeah, but... what if Joker decided to call a meeting all of a sudden? Like, I think he's busy with Mi- uh, his boyfriend today, but if he changed his mind... "

  
They fell silent for a moment. It was bad enough to be walked in on by just Ryuji's mom, but they were both picturing what it would be like to be walked in on by the entire team of Phantom Thieves. They shuddered in unison.

  
He grinned sheepishly. "First train shelter thingy we come to, then?"

  
She grabbed his hand with her left and picked up her whip with her right. "Sounds good to me."

  
At first they were cautious, aware that their numbers were only half of what they usually had to fight with; they peeked around corners and slipped through Shadows' blind spots on tiptoe. But then she let the heel of her boot clang on the metal subway rail a little too loudly, and a Shadow detected her. Ann and Ryuji both tensed, prepared for an ambush, then burst into laughter as it fled in terror at the mere sight of them. After that, they abandoned all attempts at stealth and chatted as they descended Mementos at their own pace. The Shadows were weak, and they didn't have to fight a single one by the time they'd reached the train shelter.

  
The mood was long gone. It was easy to forget how expansive each floor was when they were tearing through the tunnels in the bus for most of each infiltration. On foot, it was a long, cheerless slog, even without having to wipe out Shadows. They dumped their weapons next to the entrance of the shelter, Ryuji's metal club singing out as it struck the concrete, and staggered inside.

  
"Ugghhhh." Ann collapsed into one of the plastic seats and pulled her thigh high boots off, then wiggled her toes to stretch them. The tops of her feet and her heels were an angry red.

  
"You too, huh?" He was kneading his bad leg. "Foot rub?"

  
She hesitated. But it did sound good. "Okay. Lemme get you after then." She spun sideways in her seat, the latex of her suit squeaking, and stretched her legs out until her feet were resting in his lap.

  
He flung his gloves to the floor and kneaded her soles until she hissed through her teeth. "Not so hard - "

  
"Okay, okay - " He slowed down and paid a little more attention to what he was doing. There wasn't much light in the train shelter, but she could tell he was studying what was probably a blister on her heel. "Those stupid things really don't fit, huh."

  
"Nope. Sure don't." She rolled her eyes. "And this goddamn suit... you'd think it'd just be the size I need. You'd think that since it comes out of my _head,_ it'd just be _me_ sized. Instead it's too tight half the time and too loose the other half - "

  
He'd stopped rubbing her feet. "Too tight _where,_ exactly?" Of course he was leering at her.

  
The usual impulse to smack him was there but she overcame it just in time. Now that things had changed, he was right on cue. "Here." She slowly pulled down the zippers that held her suit closed over her breasts; first one, then the other. "And here."

  
He didn't make a move, apparently content to see where she wanted to take things. Her foot was already stretched across his lap, so she pulled it from his loose grasp and slowly, lightly, slid it along his crotch. It was difficult to tell what she was doing from this angle but the little gasp he let out, and what she felt beneath the sole of her foot, told her she was right on the mark.

  
_Enough teasing._ Even in this situation, she didn't want to let her bare feet touch the floor in Mementos, so she took her foot back and faced forward in her seat again, then bent double to pick up her boots from the floor.

  
"Hey, don't. I'll just - " She blinked, and he was already kneeling on the concrete in front of her. " - come to you." He was at the perfect height now. He took one of her breasts in his hand, groping her without the slightest hesitation, and took the nipple of the other into his mouth.

  
_Fucking finally._ She kept forgetting how much she missed this kind of touch until she couldn't have it anymore.

  
First it was months of having Akira all to herself, months of dirty talk and massages gone awry and 'spending time together'. Then she'd seen what was coming before he had and stepped back, giving him room to see where he stood with Mishima. It had only been a few weeks between then and when she'd involved herself - butted in, really - and confessed her attraction to Mishima. But even in that short amount of time, she'd become... lonely. If that was the word for it. To be honest, she'd missed the feeling of companionship. She could hang out with Akira or the other Thieves in a platonic way, and she could tend to her more basic physical needs on her own, with her fingers or her bullet vibe. But it wasn't the same. She wanted to have it all. She wanted the whole package, wrapped up in one experience.

  
Then she'd gotten to know Mishima. It was... more, somehow. Mishima had never replaced Akira, because Akira had never left her. Not really. They'd stopped sleeping together, but because they'd decided to continue sharing everything with each other, she'd never had to miss him. She hadn't been lonely on the weekends that Mishima spent at Akira's because she knew that after he'd walked Mishima to the train station, she'd be waking up to detailed - extremely detailed - reports of their weekend together. Akira hadn't really left, just taken a half step back; she'd given up sharing his bed but kept every single other aspect of their relationship intact. Then there was Mishima himself. She'd grown comfortable with him astonishingly quickly, as if they'd been close for years, rather than simply being on each other's periphery - a mutual friend of a friend. Instead she'd fallen for him through Akira himself, as if Akira had passed on his infatuation for Mishima simply by talking to her about him. Could that happen? She didn't know. All she did know was that she drank in his attention and got just as much satisfaction from giving it back to him twofold; she shared him with Akira, and she shared Akira with him, and in time, she took it for granted.

  
Then the three of them had had a single night together, _really_ together. The last boundary had been lifted. Mishima was hers, and Akira was hers.

  
Then she had nothing.

  
It was so much worse than before. Before she'd become involved with Akira, she'd been accustomed to loneliness. She had Shiho to hang out with after school, and she had her modelling work, and she'd been content with that, probably just because she hadn't known there was more. That there could _be_ more. Sure, she was otherwise ostracized at school, and she and Ryuji had drifted apart. But she knew how to move forward.

  
But now she'd had everything. She'd known satisfaction, and now it was gone. She'd wanted to do the right thing, so she'd left it behind. On the weekends, her house was empty. During the week, the only messages she got from Akira were the same ones he sent to the rest of the Thieves in their group chat. Mishima had tried to keep messaging her, in much the same way that he'd tried to keep inviting her to spend time with him and Akira, but she'd thought it was better for both of them if a certain distance was maintained. So she'd retreated into blandness, into safe, bloodless chitchat with him, until he'd given up on that too.

  
It was all _her decision,_ her attempt at being the _adult,_ it was all _for the best._ But now that she had a shot at something like what she'd had before, even if it was just a fraction of the companionship, the comfort she'd once had - she wasn't going to think twice. When Ryuji knelt in front of her and took her breast in his mouth, she seized her chance.

  
Even as she gasped at the sensation as he rolled her nipple on his tongue, she reached between them and carefully pulled down the zipper that halved her latex suit. Cool air raised goosebumps on her chest, her belly, her -

  
He sat back on his heels, mesmerized, as she revealed herself to him. Her suit was tight, and as she drew the zipper lower and lower, he pulled the latex at her thighs and hips away from her body to prevent the zipper from catching her skin. She felt the same stupid trepidation she'd felt when she'd first bared herself to Akira and Mishima - _maybe he'll think I look weird, or gross, or_ \- but of course it was even more misplaced this time. She'd already shown him this and more in the photos she'd sent, and it was Ryuji. Just Ryuji. A funny thought struck from out of left field. _Maybe Ryuji should have been my first._ She didn't _regret_ her time with Akira, far from it, but she'd certainly found him intimidating at the time. If Ryuji _had_ been her first -

  
She could dig into what-ifs later. Ryuji was staring at her, and his open, honest face told her how he felt. She lifted her hips and he reached beneath her to help hold her up as she continued unzipping, finally stopping when she was bared all the way from her collarbones to the small of her back. He let his eyes drag over every inch of her, as if committing her to memory, until his eyes suddenly cut back up to hers. He grinned.

  
"What?" She didn't get the joke.

  
"Am I allowed to check you out in your Panther suit _now?"_ He tensed up, and this time she rewarded him with a smack on the chest.

\----------

  
"Can I... ?" Ryuji slid his bare palm up the glossy latex covering her thigh, stopping just short of where the teeth of the zipper ended and her skin began.

  
"You don't have to ask now," she teased. _Even if it's nice that you do._ Ryuji kept surprising her. Either she'd always had him pegged wrong or he'd managed to do a little growing up since the last time they'd tried dating. Or maybe they'd both changed.

  
He explored her with his fingers without any further qualms, stroking the hair she kept trimmed short and looking as though he were puzzling out some deep mystery. He finally brought his other hand up and spread her wide, all at once, making her hiss through her teeth. "Eesh - "

  
"Sorry - " He furrowed his brow, but saw that he hadn't hurt her, just surprised her. "How do I get you to look like you did in that photo?"

  
Ann laughed and dropped her gloves to the floor so she could run her fingers through his hair. She had to admit he looked pretty good on his knees, settled between her spread thighs. "How do you get me _wet,_ you mean?"

  
If she'd tried that line on Mishima, she'd have been treated to seeing him blush; maybe even to him hiding his face in embarrassment. Ryuji couldn't be more different. His face lit up as if she'd told him the best news he'd ever heard. "Yeah. Somethin' like this?" He watched her face and carefully slid his fingertip down her centre, stroking just the outside of her in tight little circles. In the silence between one cognitive train leaving the station in Mementos and another arriving, they both heard the sounds his finger was making as the tip of it started to slick into her, just a little.

  
She hooked one knee over his shoulder and drew him a little closer, then closed her eyes and hummed happily. "How'd you get so good at... ?" She pictured him googling all sorts of things to prepare and bit back a laugh. Whatever he'd done, it seemed to have helped. "You can put your finger in. Slowly."

  
She was a lot wetter now, though she doubted she looked much like she had in the photo she'd sent him. Not yet, at least. He brought his face even closer, fascinated by what he was doing, or maybe by what she looked like as his finger sank into her, all the way in. Now he was watching her face again, locking eyes with her as he stroked her in just the right spot. Her mouth dropped open and she let out something between a sigh and a moan.

  
His eyes went wide and he picked up the pace.

  
She only had to give him a little more guidance; soon he was slicking in and out of her, staring hungrily at her face. It had always been hard for her to be quiet but now, with the acoustics they way they were, her moans and cries bounced back and multiplied until she couldn't hear anything else. She could've happily given herself over to his fingering alone, but, a few minutes in, he stopped.

  
Ann had to catch her breath. It had been so long since someone else had touched her. "Your leg?"

  
"Nah." He leered up at her. "Geeze, Panther. You forget why we dragged our asses all the way down here?"

  
She had. "Oh. Right." She slid her leg from his shoulder. "How d'you want to - "

  
"First things first." Ryuji yanked back the flap that held his outfit shut at his throat and started to unzip himself, all the way down to his crotch.

  
"Oh, yours is like Fox's, huh?"

  
He gave her such an exaggerated eyeroll that she had to giggle at him. "Fuck, don't tell me you got more 'boys' I don't even _know_ about - "

  
_"No -"_ she retorted, and would have said more, but he'd reached the bottom of the zipper. He pulled the crotch of his suit taut and did a funny little shimmy with his hips until his cock flopped out, mostly hard, then adjusted his balls. Another difference between him and Mishima, then. Maybe it was just because they'd already exchanged photos, but Ryuji wasn't the least bit shy about this part of his body, either. She decided not to tell him that the photo he'd sent hadn't been much more than a shadowy blur, in case her reaction to it was the source of his confidence.

  
"Mmf... " she murmured, but then he wiped the smile off her face. He reached into his suit, dug into some tiny inner pocket, and pulled out a condom.

  
She held her tongue. Of course it was his choice to wear one. She just hadn't been picturing it that way. If he was wearing a condom, she wouldn't get to feel her favourite part. She was on the pill - _Maybe I can change his mind -_ but by then he'd already rolled it on, and she decided to save that conversation for another time.

  
_There'll be other times._ Just the thought of it cheered her up again. She still hadn't even gotten a good look at him, after all.

  
"Ready?"

  
He didn't answer. He rose to his feet in front of her, a calculating expression on his face, and before she could get an inkling of what he was planning, he bent low, stuck his hands under her arms and scooped her up. He staggered under her weight as he took the handful of steps to the glass wall of the shelter, then slammed her back against it with a thud.

  
"S-Skull!" she gasped. It hadn't hurt, but he'd managed to knock the air out of her lungs.

  
He grunted and held her up with one shaking arm as he lined himself up with his other hand. For once, her latex suit was practical. The material stuck to the glass enough that it slowed her descent, just enough to give him time to prepare. The same couldn't be said for her. The tip of him, covered in the condom, brushed at her; then, less than a second later, he was inside her, all of him, buried to his balls in a single thrust. Ann screamed in his ear, overwhelmed by sensation.

  
At least it didn't hurt. He had been thorough, and she was prepared. But she couldn't think. His hands were under her ass, propping her up against the wall as he rocked up into her, hard and fast. They panted into each other's faces, locking eyes again, and she realized that instead of making the occasional moan or cry, she was simply sobbing with every breath. It was just noise, noise that she had no hope of controlling or stopping. She couldn't even get a full breath because every time she tried, he'd hit that spot; he looked as though he was saying something, muttering to himself, maybe, but there was no way she could hear him over her own voice. Now he'd buried his face between her breasts and somehow picked up the pace. He pounded her, faster, harder, and all she could do was take it and make a single wordless, openmouthed wail. She crossed her ankles behind his back and clung on for dear life.

  
Then his bad leg gave out.

  
He crumpled to the floor with a frustrated groan, clutching his leg. Her latex suit sticking to the glass gave her half a second more to react before she crashed to the concrete in front of him; she still couldn't quite get her legs under her, and she took the brunt of it with her tailbone. She knelt, then sank down and rested her face on her crossed forearms to take her weight off of her tailbone, keening quietly in pain. Now her breasts were in contact with the grimy concrete beneath her, though the pain made that seem less important now.

  
She finally pulled herself back up and groaned. "Why the hell would you pick me up if your leg hurt?!"

  
He made a noise of disgust and scowled at her. "Told you. Fuckin' thing always hurts." He stripped off the condom in one rough motion and flung it into the corner of the shelter. "Maybe if _somebody_ could lay off the sweets for one minute, I coulda made it." He cupped himself with his hand to protect himself from his zipper, then yanked it up to his throat and limped out of the shelter.

  
_Jesus._ Maybe she'd set her expectations too high.

  
She pressed her hand to her ass, wincing. It was a long shot, but -

  
Carmen appearing out of thin air must have caught his eye, because now he was leaning back into the shelter's entrance, all of his weight resting on his good leg. The space was a little cramped for her Persona, but it wasn't as though she'd need her for long.

  
"Why're you - oh."

  
Ann used Dia on herself, squeezing her eyes shut as the spell lit up the dim shelter for a second or two. By the time the light faded away, she knew it had worked. She prodded herself - just a dull throb now, nothing like what she'd felt a moment ago. She'd have to check more thorougly later, but so far as she could tell, much of the damage had been healed. She knelt upright again, sitting on her heels.

  
"C'mere."

  
"If that worked on shit like this - " He waved both hands at his leg. " - then I wouldn't still have a bad leg, would I? Would've been fixed a long time ago."

  
_"C'mere."_

  
He rolled his eyes, then sank to the floor in front of her. She could tell by the way that he moved his leg with his hands that he'd managed to hurt himself pretty severely this time. Carmen had stuck around, idly twitching the leashes that led to her admirers every now and then. Ann nodded to her, then cast Dia on Ryuji's leg.

  
"Well?"

  
She'd known him for so long that she could read him like a book. Her healing spell had worked, or had at least reduced his pain, but he still wanted to be mad at her. So he grumbled, and rolled his eyes, and wouldn't look her in the face as he stood. He tested his leg, and she could tell that she'd been right. "Thanks," he said, still sullen.

  
She saved her 'I-told-you-so's. She'd just have to get back at him later. There were more urgent things to attend to. She pulled herself to her feet, still sore, and wedged her feet back into her boots. Then she tried to make herself decent.

  
Of _course_ the zipper she needed was all the way at the small of her back. She could reach it easily, but of _course_ it balked when she tried to yank it down over the swell of her ass. She struggled with it until she was red in the face, trying to pull tight the latex with one hand and wrenching on the zipper with the other.

  
"Geeze. This thing is like a... like a fuckin' sausage casing, or somethin'." Ryuji stood in front of her and put his hands on hers, still behind her back.

  
She bristled, something sharp already on her tongue - she wasn't a _saint,_ there were limits - but he interrupted her, laughing at the face she'd made. "I didn't mean it like that. Come on. Turn around."

  
In the end she knelt upright on the train shelter's plastic seat and planted her palms against the glass, watching his reflection over her shoulder as he struggled with her zippers. She'd been yanking on the one attached to her stupid cat tail, which was immobile, locked in place behind the one she needed. They both gathered up as much of the latex as they could and held the zipper's track closed; she held her breath as he slowly pulled it back over her most sensitive parts, still puffy with arousal. Once she could see the zipper again, she handled the rest herself, roughly stuffing her breasts back behind their own zippers. She was very much looking forward to being in her own clothes again.

  
She turned back around, feeling a little awkward. "Thanks for your help."

  
_He really must be feeling better._ The fight had evaporated. She grinned and gestured with her chin at the bulge in his Metaverse outfit. "Still? Or again?"

  
Ryuji had no shame, which was fine. Maybe she didn't have any either. "Again. I was thinkin' maybe we shoulda just done it like this." She got what he meant and turned back around to face the glass, kneeling upright. He spread her feet and knees as far apart as the shelter's seat would allow and pressed himself against her, grinding his hips against her ass. "Like... _this."_ He skimmed his fingertips down low and stroked her through the latex as he let his cock press even harder against her.

  
"I guess I've never tried it like this... " She had a good view of his face, reflected in the glass in front of her; his eyes closed as he rested his chin against her shoulder. "But."

  
He sighed. "But," he agreed. He gave her some space, and she turned around and stood.

  
"My ass is pretty sore - "

  
"My leg is done for the day, so - "

  
She stuck her hand out and smiled. "Next time for sure." He took her hand in his and they shook on it.

  
The trip back to the top of Mementos took just as long, but it seemed to go by a little faster.


	24. Cursed. "Think you'd be jealous?" Crossed wires.

Ann stretched out on her stomach on top of her bed, an icepack on her tailbone and her phone in her hands. She hadn't felt this exhausted in a long time.

  
ANN: hey, at least you got it in this time, right?  
ANN: that should count for smth  
RYUJI: fuck. i was actually kinda close too.  
RYUJI: i'm startin to think we're cursed.  
ANN: think it's more about our choice of location, lol. both times  
ANN: third time's the charm, right? we'll get it right at my house  
ANN: anyway. how'd you like it  
ANN: or were you repulsed by my fatness  
RYUJI: aw, come on. don't drag that out again.  
RYUJI: i didn't mean it.  
ANN: then don't say it  
ANN: you said you wanted to be nice to me, if we were gonna do this. so be nice to me  
RYUJI: fine. whatever.  
RYUJI: i'm sorry i said you were too heavy. or whatever i said.

  
_Good enough._

  
ANN: you're forgiven  
ANN: how's your leg?  
RYUJI: better. at least, back to where it'd usually be after a mementos trip.  
RYUJI: better than it was. thanks.  
RYUJI: how's your ass  
ANN: broke  
ANN: lol. nah, it's just a bruise now. I think maybe my tailbone really was broken before I healed it, though. it really hurt  
RYUJI: sorry I dropped you.  
ANN: it's alright  
ANN: what made you try that out on your first time though??? lol  
RYUJI: heh. think i was tryin to impress you.  
ANN: orly  
ANN: what makes you think I need impressing?  
RYUJI: your experience. duh.  
ANN: aw. it's not like that  
ANN: I'm not gonna be bored by you. you said before that everyone's so far ahead of you? I'm really only a few months "ahead" of you. if you want to think of it that way  
RYUJI: still.  
RYUJI: i wanted to do somethin akira n mishima didn't.  
RYUJI: was i right?  
ANN: lol yeah  
ANN: Akira never took me to Mementos, and Mishima never busted my ass, so...  
ANN: I'm just kidding  
ANN: that was actually p hot  
RYUJI: you think so?  
RYUJI: i thought so.  
RYUJI: you're fuckin tight.  
RYUJI: i was sort of worried...  
ANN: god don't even  
ANN: that's just a myth  
ANN: christ Ryuji, you need to learn how to talk to girls  
RYUJI: I WAS KIDDING.  
RYUJI: you can tease me but i can't tease you?  
ANN: okay, okay  
ANN: I just couldn't tell through text, I guess  
ANN: you felt sooooo good  
ANN: it's been way too long  
RYUJI: psht. you weren't too shy about showin me that toy you had in you like three days ago.  
ANN: that's different  
RYUJI: lol. okay.  
ANN: it is. it feels totally different. the real thing's so much better  
ANN: uh. that reminds me...  
ANN: I didn't get a chance to tell you that I'm on the pill  
ANN: did you have a condom with you for that reason? or? bc I'm clean

  
Her stomach sank. He was taking a while to reply. _Maybe he doesn't believe me._

  
RYUJI: not that I don't trust you. but.  
RYUJI: you sure those two other guys are? were?  
ANN: Akira was my first, and I was Akira's first, and he was Mishima's first. and it was only ever us three  
ANN: so  
ANN: I'm sure  
ANN: it's okay tho. I like it without, but if you want to keep using condoms, then that's what we'll do

  
There was another pause, even longer this time.

  
RYUJI: this feels super shitty. i don't know a nice way to say it.  
RYUJI: what about mishima?  
RYUJI: what you said happened to him, i mean.  
RYUJI: isn't there a chance?  
RYUJI: if there's a chance, then it's better to be safe, isn't it?  
ANN: oh  
ANN: you don't have to worry about that  
ANN: I can't tell you more, but. he told me everything, and there was no... like, that didn't happen, at least  
ANN: you don't have to worry, I mean

  
Talking about Mishima behind his back made her feel like a piece of shit all over again. Even now, she wasn't sure that telling Ryuji had been the right course of action. He'd guessed on his own, and she hadn't wanted to lie to his face, but...

  
RYUJI: well. if you're sure.  
RYUJI: anyway. happier stuff.  
RYUJI: up for a repeat? photos?  
ANN: oh, like a few days ago?  
ANN: sorry. hard pass  
ANN: can't even lay on my back tonight, lol  
ANN: and I had this super long shower but I still feel all yucky  
ANN: even the air feels dirty in Mementos, you know?  
RYUJI: aw. guess i'll just have to picture you in the shower then...  
ANN: lol. if that helps  
ANN: remember what my house looks like? my shower's big enough for two, bb  
RYUJI: oh shit. you're right, i forgot.  
ANN: I'll leave you to it. have fun :)

  
She closed her chat with him and immediately opened another, this time with Mishima.

  
_You're just trying to make yourself feel better._

  
ANN: hey, are you still awake?

  
It wasn't long at all before he answered; he must have already been on his phone.

  
MISHIMA: Of course I'm awake! It's early.  
ANN: busy, then?  
MISHIMA: Exams, so. I'm studying.  
MISHIMA: Well.  
MISHIMA: I was studying.  
ANN: lol  
MISHIMA: Akira's distracting me with cat photos.  
ANN: he always did that to me during exam week too. just bc he doesn't have to try, he forgets the rest of us do  
ANN: but if you're studying, I can talk to you another time  
MISHIMA: It's okay. I'd like to talk to you.  
MISHIMA: Been a while, huh.  
ANN: yeah. I'm sorry  
ANN: I've been avoiding you  
MISHIMA: I noticed.

  
He wasn't making this any easier.

  
ANN: I'm sorry. really  
MISHIMA: What's the real reason?  
ANN: um  
ANN: I wanted you to fall out of love with me? I guess?  
MISHIMA: Nothing else?  
ANN: I kept hoping I would start to feel the same way, and that I could say it back like Akira. I wanted to be in love with you  
ANN: but I don't feel that way. I wish I did  
MISHIMA: I know that. I'm okay with that.  
MISHIMA: But I mean. You didn't start avoiding me because of anything else?  
ANN: like what?  
MISHIMA: Like that stuff we talked about the same day that I told you I love you.  
MISHIMA: What happened to me.  
ANN: Mishima  
ANN: no. did you think that?  
MISHIMA: Well, yeah.  
ANN: no. that wasn't any part of it. I'm not like that  
ANN: that stuff wasn't your fault  
ANN: didn't I say that? that I wanted to give you space because of the love thing? and not bc of that other stuff you had to tell me about?  
MISHIMA: I think you did. But. I dunno. It just felt so final.  
MISHIMA: Didn't we say we were still going to be friends? I've barely seen you for like a month. Longer.  
MISHIMA: So I thought you'd changed your mind about that. I thought what I told you was too much for you.  
ANN: no. it's not like that at all. I didn't want to lead you on  
ANN: you and Akira are the couple. you're the priority. I'm on the outside  
ANN: like, I don't mean that to be sarcastic or whatever. bitter. I mean it. the last thing I wanted was to break you up or smth. so I stayed away  
MISHIMA: Akira and I have talked about that.  
ANN: about what?  
MISHIMA: My feelings, I guess. You.  
ANN: oh?  
MISHIMA: How would you feel about trying things out again? With me and him.

  
She surprised herself when she let out a shaky gasp, her heart thudding in her chest, and stared at her screen, too stunned to think for a long moment. She'd pulled back and left him alone for several weeks already, and she'd honestly expected it to be forever. At least, she was prepared for it to be forever. To get through it, she'd shuttered that part of herself, as though she could keep her thoughts of him separate and closed off from the rest of her in just the same way that she put physical distance between the two of them. It made it easier to pretend that she wasn't affected by her own choice when she didn't have to think about it - when it was already decided and put behind her. The single line of text she couldn't stop staring at both threatened to tear down all the careful walls she'd built up and hinted that she'd never need them again.

  
But she didn't want to hurt him.

  
MISHIMA: I miss you.  
ANN: I miss you too  
ANN: is he still around? maybe this is something I need to talk about with him too  
MISHIMA: Think so. One sec.

  
She rolled over onto her side, wincing as she brushed the bruise on her tailbone.

  
AKIRA: Hi Ann. How's it going?  
ANN: broke my ass, lol  
ANN: I'll, uh, tell you about it later  
AKIRA: Uh, you better.  
AKIRA: So what do you think?  
ANN: well. I like the idea. I liked how things were going. but  
ANN: if Mishima loves me and I don't feel the same way, is that fair?  
ANN: is it right for me to come back? if things are like that? Akira, remember when we talked about false hope?  
ANN: I don't want it to be like that, you know?  
MISHIMA: I think I'm done, like. Pining for you. Or whatever.  
MISHIMA: I feel better. If this were right after everything happened then I guess I'd agree with you. But. Now I sort of just miss you more like a friend.  
ANN: would you be jealous if it wasn't just you?  
MISHIMA: No. I mean, maybe I was that one time. I needed to get used to seeing it, I guess. But I liked seeing you with Akira the second time. Remember?  
ANN: what if I were spending time with you and someone else? would that make you jealous?  
MISHIMA: Oh, Sakamoto?  
MISHIMA: We were wondering how things were coming along. :) Me and Akira, I mean.  
MISHIMA: Going good?

  
She wondered if any of the time she'd spent with Ryuji in the last week could be categorized as 'going good' and laughed to herself.

  
ANN: I don't know how to answer that...  
ANN: the gist of it is that we're sleeping together, I guess  
AKIRA: Uh, did HE "break your ass"?  
ANN: hey, put your gun away lol  
ANN: indirectly only. I'm fine  
ANN: but Mishima, you're okay with that? no hurt feelings?  
MISHIMA: Yeah. I'm happy for you.  
ANN: it's not that I don't believe you. but. Akira  
ANN: do you think he's ready? if I'm around again, is it going to be okay?  
AKIRA: I think we won't know unless we try. But from what I can tell, yes.  
MISHIMA: Geeze, I'm still here, you guys.  
ANN: I'm sorry. I just don't want to mess things up for you  
AKIRA: What if we went slow? Slow for us, anyway.  
MISHIMA: Maybe that's a good compromise. I liked trading photos with you, Ann.  
AKIRA: How about it?  
ANN: I think I want a little time to think about it. and I need to talk this over with Ryuji  
AKIRA: Hey, yeah. Are you dating? I mean I'm guessing you're not, but.  
ANN: no  
AKIRA: More like you and me then? Before?  
ANN: yeah, so far. we talked about it. we're thinking casual is better for now. friends  
AKIRA: Maybe he'd like an invite too.  
MISHIMA: Oooh.  
AKIRA: Lol, did you just perk your ears up?  
AKIRA: Got a thing for him?  
MISHIMA: I think YOU do, actually.  
ANN: lmao  
ANN: boys! you are getting ahead of yourselves  
ANN: Ryuji and me haven't even figured things out yet. things keep getting in the way  
ANN: I'm seeing him this weekend. I'll make sure I talk to him about this by then. k?  
MISHIMA: Ann. Even if you and him want to be exclusive.  
MISHIMA: Don't shut me out anymore, okay? We can be friends. You're not gonna hurt my feelings.  
ANN: I just thought it was best. for a while, at least  
ANN: but maybe it's been long enough  
ANN: I'm super beat though. think I'm going to sleep early  
AKIRA: Gee Mishima, I wonder why Ann is so tired today.  
MISHIMA: I can't imagine why, Akira.  
ANN: lol  
ANN: you goobs  
ANN: gnight

  
\----------

  
It was almost like old times again.

  
Ann made it to class a few minutes before the warning bell and saw that Akira and Mishima were already seated, tapping into their phones. She felt their eyes on her as she propped her weight up with her arms and carefully lowered herself into her desk. She managed to keep her face impassive until the last second, when she settled the last of her weight onto the bruise on her tailbone and winced.  
They flooded her with messages.

  
MISHIMA: Akira, I think we'd better have a talk with that Sakamoto.  
AKIRA: Yes. Ann is like a delicate flower. Her ass needs to be treated with care and respect.  
MISHIMA: Maybe he just doesn't know how to do it.  
AKIRA: You and me must be considered experts by now, right?  
MISHIMA: I mean, I don't have my degree yet.  
MISHIMA: We're not certified.  
AKIRA: Still. Maybe we should take him under our wing.  
AKIRA: We'll give him some tips on matters of the ass.  
ANN: WE DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT  
ANN: I BRUISED MY TAILBONE, ALRIGHT?  
ANN: FUCK  
MISHIMA: We know. We asked him about it last night.

  
She scowled across the rows at Mishima, who was giving her a million watt grin.

  
ANN: asdflkjsd  
ANN: oh nooooo  
ANN: wtf did he tell you -_-  
AKIRA: Don't worry. Nothing too detailed.

  
At least Ryuji had been smart enough to avoid telling Mishima about where they'd been, then. He must have omitted the details of their difficulties with her latex suit as well.

  
AKIRA: Just stuff we both already know.  
MISHIMA: How you like it.  
AKIRA: That you're a screamer.  
ANN: omg stopppp

  
Her face was flushed hot, and she hid it in her folded arms, trying to avoid drawing stares from the rest of the class. She heard a distinctly Akira-like snicker from the desk behind her.

  
AKIRA: Lol. Okay.  
MISHIMA: Good luck on your exam today! :D

  
Apparently she'd wanted this.

  
\----------

  
The rest of exam week flew by. Ann had never spent more time on her phone. If it wasn't Ryuji distracting her from studying, it was Akira and Mishima teasing her as they rode their separate trains on the way to Shujin. She finally had to put her foot down and warn them that she was turning her phone off in a last ditch effort to get some real studying in.

  
The bell rang on Friday afternoon, the last day of exams. Ann started packing up her things as Mishima approached her desk, though her phone distracted her before he got there.

  
AKIRA: Mementos today. I'll tell the others.

  
_Seriously? Right after exams?_ But the more she considered it, the better it sounded. The bruise on her tailbone was ugly but the worst of the pain was gone, and she actually started to look forward to whipping some Shadows. It'd be nice to get a little exercise in and blow off some steam.

  
"How'd you do?"

  
She seesawed her hand at Mishima. "Not terrible. _Considering."_

  
"Considering?"

  
"Considering you guys won't give me a moment's _peace - "_

  
He laughed, not even pretending to be sorry. "Does that mean you're not up for coffee with me?"

  
She opened her mouth to answer, but he realized he was blocking the aisle and returned to his seat, waiting for the room to clear out a little more. She had a moment to recall how embarrassed she'd made him just a few months ago when she'd approached his desk and asked him out in front of the other students. Now he was comfortable enough to ask _her_ out in front of everyone without giving it another thought.

  
MISHIMA: Or a movie?  
ANN: aw. any other day I would  
ANN: I just signed up to sub for a shoot though

  
Lying to him still didn't feel great, but for something like this, it was a necessary evil.

  
ANN: can I take you out next time, though?  
MISHIMA: Sounds good to me. Maybe Akira's free.

  
She waved goodbye and hurried out of the room, wondering how Akira would put him off.

  
\----------

  
Ryuji had never been one for subtlety.

  
Ann sat in the exact center of the bus in Mementos, Ryuji on her left and Yusuke on her right. Fortunately, Yusuke was laser focused on studying their surroundings, staring out the window on his side and apparently muttering notes to himself for a painting. He was far too absorbed to notice when Ryuji inched a little closer to her, hip to hip, and started whispering in her ear.

  
"You know. That suit of yours leaves zipper marks on you. Like, indents."

  
Maybe she wasn't above it herself. She arched one of her eyebrows at him, then leaned her head closer to his so she could whisper back. "Oh _really?"_

  
"You said it was tight, but I didn't think I'd be able to see _that."_ His gloved hand crept up the latex covering her thigh, still out of sight.

  
Still out of sight for everyone but Akira, at least. She glanced up to the rearview mirror a seat ahead of her and realized he was barely keeping his eyes on the road. Their eyes met, and though she couldn't see the rest of his face, she still somehow got the impression that he was grinning at her.

  
_Let him look._

  
She leaned close to Ryuji again. "Yours has a zipper too, y'know. Did yours leave zipper marks on _you?_ When _your_ suit started getting... tight?"

  
Ryuji gave her a shaky little laugh, and when she pulled away just enough to see his face, she couldn't believe how red he'd become. She was starting to realize that he liked to talk big, but couldn't always take what he dished out. At least, not while keeping a straight face.

  
"Hey. We have an audience."

  
His eyes went wide behind his mask, and she glanced meaningfully at the rearview mirror, then back at him. Akira didn't even pretend; he just looked from her eyes to Ryuji's.

  
Now Ryuji kept his eyes on the mirror even as he went back to whispering in her ear. "Psht. Just Joker. Who cares." He trailed his fingertips along the curve of her hip. "He already knows anyway." Her own eyes widened as Ryuji slouched down a little further in the seat, spreading his knees wider as if to give Akira a good look. Checking the rearview mirror confirmed that he was still watching as much as he could as he drove the bus.

  
She leaned into Ryuji again, slouching down a little herself to get closer. "Geeze. What _did_ you tell them? They're - ugh, they've been _tormenting_ me."

  
He gave an evil laugh. _"Good."_ He'd let his voice get too loud and switched to whispering again. "Maybe you deserve a little tormenting."

  
"No, seriously - are we sharing stuff? With them?" Ann grabbed his ascot and gave it a vicious tug, yanking his head forward an inch or two. "Because I've got a few things I could let them in on about you, _buddy - "_

  
The distraction they were providing took its toll on Akira's driving. He let the tires hit the subway rails at far too high a speed and every Thief rose into the air with a cry of surprise, then hit the seat again with a thump. He hit the brakes and came to a stop. "Everyone alright? Sorry - " The Thieves laughed and sniped at him about his driving skills until he stepped on the gas again.

  
"Oh _shit_ \- Panther - " Ryuji hissed into her ear, then wrapped his arm around her chest, his face even redder than before.

  
"Get _off_ \- " she hissed back. She'd assumed that he was hugging her right in front of everyone, but when she glanced down at his arm, she realized that he'd been trying to do her a favour. Sometimes her Metaverse outfit was too tight, and sometimes too loose; apparently today was a 'loose' day. Hitting the subway rails at such a speed had bounced her breasts right out of the top of her suit. One had settled back to where it was supposed to be, but the other was still exposed, propped up by the cup of her suit instead of resting within it.

  
Of course Akira had seen everything. She heard him laugh quietly in the seat ahead of her. As she glared at his reflection in the rearview mirror, he actually reached up and adjusted it for a better look, as if to taunt her.

  
She leaned into Ryuji to shield herself from Yusuke's and the other Thieves' eyes and fixed herself hurriedly, then whispered "Thanks," before taking the time to stick her tongue out at the rearview mirror.

  
Ryuji grinned. "Guess we better continue this later." He shifted his legs again, and she confirmed her suspicion with a glance. "Maybe we shouldn't _both_ flash the driver," he whispered.

  
\----------

  
Everyone but Yusuke had just had a week of exams, so Akira was merciful. They completed the request they'd set out to do and, instead of grinding through extra floors for Personas and cash, he called it quits after only an hour or two in Mementos.

  
Ann and Ryuji milled about the top floor and pretended to prepare to leave with the other Thieves. It wasn't long before they had the place to themselves.

  
He leaned against the wall and sank to the floor with a sigh, his bad leg propped out in front, and patted the gritty tiles next to him. Instead she sat between his spread thighs and scooched down until her head rested on his belly, moving slowly to favour her tailbone. She pulled his knees tight against her thighs, making herself comfortable.

  
"What am I, a piece of furniture?" But he didn't make any move to dislodge her. He only adjusted his criss-crossed belts so that the metal buckle wouldn't press into them both, then removed his mask.

  
"You wanted to talk to me about something?" she asked sweetly.

  
"Nothin' important. I think I was just gonna talk dirty to you some more."

  
She laughed. He was so straightforward. "I mean. I like that. But maybe there _is_ something we should talk about. Now that we've got some privacy."

  
"Oh yeah?" She felt his muscles tense beneath her head as he sat up a little and took off his gloves.

  
"Okay, first thing - you gotta tell me what you told those guys. Seriously. No more joking."

  
"No _teasing,_ you mean. You just can't handle it."

  
"If my phone worked here, I'd show you what they were saying about _you,_ you know. They said that if you were so bad at sex that you broke my ass, they'd better teach you how."

  
His stomach muscles tensed under her again and made her head bounce a little as he laughed, hard. "That supposed to convince me? Bet that was still more embarrassin' for _you_ than me."

  
She had a shorter temper around him than anyone else she knew, somehow. "Come _on,_ you can't just talk shit about me behind my - "

  
"Yeah, yeah. Chill." He pulled off her mask, then took both of her pigtails in his hands and started playing with her hair, running it through his fingers. "So like. They must've just finished talkin' to you and heard about your... 'injury'... because they both start blowing up my phone at the same time. Tellin' me I better treat you right, _or else._ Thought they were gonna tell me to meet 'em at the bike racks after school, or somethin'."

  
She started giggling. She couldn't help it. Her anger melted away as quickly as it had arrived. "Aw. Two on one wouldn't be very fair - "

  
He leaned forward to whisper in her ear. Apparently she'd set him up perfectly. "Never stopped 'em before - "

  
"It was only _one time - "_ Their laughter bounced off of the tiles in a cacophony.

  
By the time the echoes faded away, she realized he'd neatly dodged the question. "So? What exactly did you say?"

  
"Gave Joker the real story. Told - told his boyfriend that I dropped you on your ass at my place."

  
Maybe a little of that anger had stuck around after all. _"Skull._ You can't just - are we really sharing everything with them?" She sat up and turned around so she could see his face.

  
Clearly he didn't see the issue. He was frowning, his forehead furrowed, and his tone was defensive. "What's so bad about that? You get to talk to them about _me._ You had no problem tellin' Joker all about when you were pissed at me about - about those photos. Before. I thought that kinda thing would be just between me n' you, but apparently that ain't how you operate."

  
She saw the fight coming and sidestepped it. "I'm sorry I did that. I shouldn't have," she said, keeping as even a tone as she could. Maybe he just didn't understand the entire situation. "I'm not even mad that you did that. That's how I handled things with them, anyway. Sharing everything."

  
"Then... ?" She guessed from his face that she'd managed to smooth things over again. He gestured at his thighs and she stretched out between them again, laying her head back on his belly.

  
"I just wanted us to talk it over first. Decide together."

  
"Aw." He folded his arm around her and rested it across her chest. She shivered a little - the material of his Metaverse outfit, whatever it was, was cool to the touch. "Sorry, then."

  
"It's okay. There's more, though. Well - " She grinned suddenly. "For all I know, if you guys were all chatting about _that_ kind of stuff without me, maybe they already brought it up with you."

  
"Dunno. We were mostly talkin' about your ass. Heh."

  
"You should add me next time!"

  
"Probly _would_ be more fun to tease you if you're there... "

  
She drew her knees up and tapped the heels of her boots against the tiled floor, a little nervous. She wasn't sure how he'd take what she was about to say. "Anyway. They want me to come back, again."

  
"What about Mi- him, though? Is he still... ?"

  
"I know, right? But he said he sees me as more of a friend now. It's been long enough. Joker said he thought the same thing."

  
He was silent for a moment or two. "You want to? Start things up with them again?"

  
"Maybe? I miss them. I've been avoiding them because - you know. Because it was uneven, like you said. But maybe it was just a time thing." She stripped her gloves off and thwapped them to the floor, then reached up and pulled his forearm down until his hand was resting in her lap. "Think you'd be jealous? I haven't told them yes, yet."

  
"Nah."

  
She hadn't expected an answer so quickly. "O-oh - you sure, though? Joker said we could go back to it slowly - photos or whatever - but I think it'd probably go back to the way it was, with both of them. Eventually. Sex, I mean."

  
She felt him shrug. "I had this little feeling it'd go back to that anyway. If you still make some time for me then I'll be happy." He brought his free hand up to her chest and started teasing her nipple through the latex. "We still on for tomorrow?"

  
"Course! I'm not just gonna cancel on you - hey." She wriggled against him. "Thought we were here to talk."

  
"I'm still listenin'." He freed his arm from her hands and started working on her other nipple.

  
"Good. Cuz there's more."

  
"Mm?" He'd brought them both to two sharp points.

  
Maybe some flattery was in order. It was true, anyway. "Sounds like they're both into you."

  
"Mm." His fingers froze.

  
"Said they thought you might like an invite."

  
"This is gettin' to be a weird party to get an invite to."

  
_He's not saying no..._ "You know, I noticed you were giving Joker an eyeful in the bus."

  
He barked a single laugh, making her head bounce against his stomach muscles again. "Say what?"

  
"You know exactly what I mean. You were touching me while you were making eyes at him in the mirror. Then you scooched down in your seat and - " She demonstrated with her own thighs, opening them as wide as his legs on either side of her would allow.

  
"Psht. 'Making eyes' - what does that even mean?" He'd started moving his hands again, rolling her breasts in his palms through the latex until she squeezed her thighs back together again, writhing in place. She considered telling him to stop in case the rest of the Thieves came back, but it seemed especially unlikely on a day they'd already infiltrated Mementos. Her breathing picked up.

  
"Come on. You _know_ what I mean. What was that about?"

  
He slowly unzipped her, first one breast, then the other. "Maybe I just thought. Like. If he's already lookin', I better give him a show."

  
"You _do_ want in!"

  
"I never said that!" He was playing with her breasts lazily, squeezing them together to see how much cleavage he could make before letting them slip out of his hands again. She pressed her lips together and tried not to make a sound.

  
"Me and Mi - um. Him. We gave Joker a show, that one time."

  
She nearly laughed out loud; both his hands and his breath had stopped for a moment. "Oh yeah?" She had all of his attention now, no matter how casual he tried to sound.

  
"I'll tell you about it, if we're really sharing stuff with them. But that goes both ways. That means I get to tell them everything. And I assume they'll be telling me all their stuff again, too."

  
"Not much of a trade. You n' me don't have much to tell, yet." He flicked both her nipples with his thumbs, up and down.

  
She finally couldn't help but let out a hushed little sigh.

  
"Dirty girl." He shifted his hips beneath her and she realized what had been poking her between the shoulderblades all this time.

  
_"Me?_ What about - " She spun around and knelt in front of him, then grabbed him through his Metaverse outfit.

  
She'd caught him off guard. "Ungh - "

  
_So much for 'just talking'._ She straddled him, then cozied up to his chest, nice and close. "You like to think about me and them, don't you?" she teased.

  
He wasn't wasting any time. He kneaded her ass with one hand and found the zipper at the small of her back with the other. "Can you blame me?" His voice was low and urgent, and warmth spread through her to hear it. She grinded her hips against him until she'd lined herself up perfectly with that bulge in his outfit. _I'll make sure I get to see you THIS time._

  
She leaned back just enough to tear open the flap of material at his throat and found his zipper. She caught his eye and knew that the kind of look he was giving her was more than enough permission. Slowly, holding her breath, she pulled the zipper all the way down, then reached inside.

  
Maybe they really were cursed.

  
Ryuji still had his hands on her ass, and she had his cock firmly in her hand, when they both heard footsteps on the tiles behind them.

  
"Aw, you started without me?"

  
"Joker - "

  
Ann peeked at Ryuji's face and thought the same thing she had while sitting next to him in the bus. _He talks big, but -_ Despite everything he'd just been saying about giving Akira a show, or about picturing him and Mishima with her, she could tell by his expression that he wanted no part of this. She inched a little closer on his lap and did her best to shield him from Akira's view with her body, then tucked him back in and carefully pulled the zipper over his crotch.

  
"The fuck you doin' here, Joker?"

  
Akira still wore his mask, so it was a little harder for her to gauge his expression; but from the way he stood, hip cocked and shoulders relaxed, it was clear that he hadn't read the room yet. "Thought I'd give you your invite in person." He really was out of sync. He glanced down at Ann, still perched on Ryuji's thighs, and smirked. "You told him, right?"

  
_"Yes,_ but - " Akira's leering made her remember what she'd been doing, so she turned back to Ryuji to finish pulling his zipper up his chest.

  
She couldn't believe it. Akira kept approaching, craning his neck to see around her. Her heart was pounding so loudly in her ears that she wasn't sure that she'd heard him correctly at first. "Told you he's got nice pecs, Panther - "

  
She had never seen Ryuji angry at Akira, not once, but the more she looked, the more convinced she became that he was absolutely furious. His face was dark with anger, and when she glanced at his side, she saw him clench, then unclench his fist.

  
Akira got close enough to see over her head and let his eyes crawl over the front of Ryuji's Metaverse outfit.

  
Ryuji had reached the end of his rope. He gave her thigh a single sharp pat and she got what he meant; she slid off so he could stand. He surged to his feet, seeming to forget what he'd been trying to hide from Akira a moment ago. By now she wasn't sure if Akira really hadn't picked up on his mood _\- Can he seriously be that oblivious? -_ or if he was outright antagonizing him: he stared at Ryuji, his eyes fixed on a single spot.

  
She knew that if it had been anyone but Akira acting like this, Ryuji would have already taken a swing at them. As it was, she could see the tension in every line of his body; he was thrumming like a wire strung taut. _"Joker._ You're bein' a creep, okay?" Ryuji slid one step closer, the sole of his boot scraping against the gritty tile. His hands were balled into fists again.

  
Now Akira got it. "Uh, what?" The smirk had been wiped off his face; now he only looked perplexed. He raised his gloved hands as if in defense as he looked at first Ryuji, then Ann. "I just thought... Skull, when you told me about the last time you guys came here, I - "

  
His eyes lingered on her a moment too long and she finally remembered she was still exposed. "Ugh - Joker, just _leave,_ alright?!" She cupped herself to protect her nipples from her zippers and made herself decent again.

  
Catching Akira embarrassed was a rare sight. His face flushed and he finally looked away, years too late. "I just... " He abruptly turned his back on them. "Sorry," he muttered. The tiled walls wavered around him, then swallowed him up as he hit the Nav on his phone and left the Metaverse.

  
Ryuji blew out a long breath, then slumped against the wall. "Fuck." Ann joined him in silence, leaning her head back against the tiles. She could smell his sweat, sharp and acrid.

  
When he spoke again, his voice was hushed. "I hate... I hate bein' so mad." He was looking at his hands, held out in front of him. They were shaking.

  
He needed someone on his side. "It wasn't you. He was being an asshole." Still amped up, he made a motion to pull his phone from his pocket; she winced at the thought of what might happen if the two of them ran into each other again so soon and touched his wrist. "Don't. Wait til he's caught his train, or you'll just... "

  
He groaned and sank down the wall until his ass hit the floor. She sat next to him but gave him some space. His face was drawn with misery, but she couldn't tell what he wanted. She'd seen him blow up so many times over the years that she'd known him, but she still didn't know what to do with him when he was like this. The fact that they were a little closer now just left her more conflicted about how to treat him.

  
"I'll talk to him, " she offered.

  
_"I'll_ talk to him." His forehead was furrowed with worry lines. "Think we got some shit to work out."

  
"It might just be crossed wires. Don't be too hard on him - " _Why am I defending him?_ Maybe she was just a peacemaker at heart. " - but, yeah. He _was_ being creepy."

  
That seemed to help. "You got my back on this?" All at once, the last of his anger drained away. Now he just looked tired.

  
"I'm not gonna take his side just because we were - like. He can still fuck up. He can still be _wrong,_ Skull. You're my friend, too." She bit her lip. "But. It's gonna be tough to get Thief work done if you guys are all - "

  
"I _said_ I'd - " He cut himself off. His voice had rung out and echoed against the tiles, too loud and too harsh. He closed his eyes. "Sorry." He leaned close and gave her a quick peck on the cheek to apologize.

  
She had a way to take his mind off of things. For a moment, at least. She smiled at him. "If you stick your overnight stuff in your bag tomorrow, you can just come home with me on the train straight from school."

  
She must have said something funny. His face lit up and he shoved her shoulder. "What, you think I still wear jammies?"

  
"At least bring your _toothbrush,_ for crying out loud - "

  
"Maybe if you're extra nice to me - "

  
She slapped his chest and he pulled her against him in a hug, laughing.


	25. Signals. "I need more than that." Package deal.

This time, Ann had her evening to herself. Exams were over, so she didn't have any homework. Her first impulse was to chew out Akira, then try to smooth things over between the two of them; but Ryuji had said he wanted to handle it, so she let him. Instead she tried to hit up Mishima to apologize for having to avoid making plans with him yet again, but he didn't answer her. After the way they'd been inundating her with messages for the last few days, it felt strange to be left alone.

  
She was still on edge. It was hard to focus on mobile games or her agency emails. She had pulled out her manicure supplies and was about to paint her nails out of sheer boredom when her phone buzzed.

  
AKIRA: Hey.

  
Part of her was tempted to be petty and ghost him. Not that that would solve anything. She compromised and let him wait for a long minute or two as she packed up her supplies, then stared at the chat window without answering.

  
AKIRA: Are you around?  
ANN: yes  
AKIRA: Guess I should apologize.  
ANN: guess you should. what was that about today?  
AKIRA: I'm sorry.

  
He was still typing, but she needed to get something else out of the way first.

  
ANN: did you talk to Ryuji yet? bc he's the one who needs the apology more than me  
AKIRA: Yeah. I did.  
ANN: and?  
AKIRA: Think he's still pissed at me.  
ANN: uh, probably  
ANN: was there a reason you thought that would go the way you wanted it to?  
AKIRA: Okay, I know I screwed up, but you can't tell me I made it up out of nothing.  
AKIRA: That bus thing? You were there.  
ANN: what, him making eyes at you in the mirror?  
AKIRA: Him making eyes at me in the mirror with a big fucking hardon. With his legs all the way apart. Grinning at me. Yes. That.  
ANN: I guess I can see why you'd  
ANN: uh. what DID he say about that  
AKIRA: Couldn't get much out of him other than fuck this, fuck that.  
ANN: well. I think that even after the... misunderstanding, you were still being really...  
ANN: you were being kinda gross, Akira

  
While Akira was typing, Ryuji started up a private chat with her.

  
RYUJI: you awake?  
ANN: yeah. chatting with Akira rn  
RYUJI: he doesn't fuckin get it.  
RYUJI: and i told you i would handle it. don't stick your nose in.  
ANN: he started talking to ME, okay?  
ANN: chill

  
Now Akira had finally answered her.

  
AKIRA: Yeah. I wouldn't usually do that. I think I got ahead of myself, like you said. We were all talking about 'inviting' him or whatever... But you didn't hear how he was in the chat with Mishima and me. When we were joking about your ass. We got pretty dirty, I guess. Things got off topic.  
ANN: well, like. dirty talk about me? or dirty talk about you guys and him? bc he told me he was straight a few days ago. when it came up  
ANN: and. even if he were gay. bi. whatever. that doesn't mean he'd be interested in you. I thought he made it pretty clear that he didn't like you interrupting us. you should've cleared out the second he asked why you followed us  
ANN: I think that's really why he's mad, Akira. you weren't listening to him

  
She picked up her chat with Ryuji again.

  
ANN: do you want me to add you? I think this is a crossed wires thing, like I said before  
ANN: he thought you were interested  
RYUJI: for fuck's sake. i'm straight.  
ANN: he knows he screwed up. but he seems to think you were giving him mixed signals  
ANN: this is getting confusing. so I either gotta add you or I'll talk to you tomorrow. k?  
RYUJI: ugh. fine. do it then.

  
She added Ryuji to her chat with Akira.

  
AKIRA: Hey.  
RYUJI: hey.  
AKIRA: I mean it. I fucked up. I'm sorry.  
RYUJI: yeah. well.  
RYUJI: we covered that already.  
RYUJI: what do you think i'm mad about though. really.

  
Ann stayed out of it. She did feel a little gratified to see Akira picking up on some of what she'd just said to him.

  
AKIRA: I should've listened to you.  
AKIRA: Like. I still think you should work on the signals you're sending. I'm going to defend myself on that one. But I should've just left.  
AKIRA: You guys didn't exactly look like you were expecting company.  
AKIRA: Maybe I just got used to how things were with Ann and Mishima.  
RYUJI: maybe.  
RYUJI: but like. you don't get to fuckin stare at me. you don't get to just check me out even as i'm tryin to cover up and expect me to like it. come on man.  
RYUJI: did you treat Ann like that? when you were still a thing?  
RYUJI: or maybe i mean before you were a thing. would you do that to her?  
AKIRA: I think I get it. Sorry.  
RYUJI: fine.  
RYUJI: whatever. it's fine. if you get it.  
AKIRA: I have to ask though.  
RYUJI: what.  
AKIRA: That chat we had with Mishima a couple days ago.  
RYUJI: okay, what?  
AKIRA: You really weren't trying to send me signals? You sure asked a lot of questions. Or that thing with me on the bus? That wasn't some kind of signal either?  
ANN: k I'm gonna poke my head in if it's okay with you guys. next time you have some huge chat meetup about one of MY body parts, you better add me  
RYUJI: well. at FIRST it was about your ass.  
AKIRA: Like I said. It sort of went off topic?  
RYUJI: i just wanted to know how nobody was jealous!

  
She smiled to herself. Maybe the fight was over if they were both ready for a change of subject matter. Something to lighten the mood.

  
ANN: lol. you keep asking me that  
ANN: you told me you wouldn't be jealous if we tried that with them. remember?  
AKIRA: Okay, what? What are you and Ryuji thinking about trying with us, exactly? Because I'm getting really confused here.  
AKIRA: I really don't think it's my fault for getting mixed signals.

  
She'd gotten her hopes up too soon.

  
RYUJI: i can't fuckin chat with you without you thinkin i wanna fuck you?  
RYUJI: someone sure thinks they're hot shit.  
AKIRA: Okay. Seriously. In what world is asking me and Mishima about our sex life not some kind of signal?  
AKIRA: Ann, he was not asking, like. How we met. How long we'd been dating. How things were going.  
RYUJI: oh fuck off.  
RYUJI: thought you guys shared everything? that's what i keep hearin.  
AKIRA: He starts up with shit like "You top, right?" and "Mishima, you like giving or receiving better?"  
AKIRA: He asks me and Mishima to describe how it feels.  
AKIRA: Come ON, Ryuji.

  
She was torn.

  
ANN: um. that's maybe not the most heterosexual line of questioning, no  
RYUJI: you're startin up on me too, huh?  
ANN: you were just... curious, then? or?  
RYUJI: they could've just said no. if it was such a big fuckin deal.  
RYUJI: they get to ask me how things went with you but apparently it ain't a two way street.  
ANN: we're not really getting anywhere at this point. it's kinda late

  
Akira saw his out and took it.

  
AKIRA: Yeah. Goodnight.

  
He left the chat a second later.

  
RYUJI: fuck.  
ANN: have you guys ever even had an argument before?  
RYUJI: never.  
ANN: you gonna forgive him?  
RYUJI: course.  
RYUJI: but i'm mad. that's all.

  
He really was very straightforward.

  
ANN: I think most people don't know the difference. in a fight  
ANN: you guys will be fine :)  
ANN: hope you're not too mad to see me tomorrow  
RYUJI: if we get interrupted at your house i am gonna blow a gasket, i swear to god.  
ANN: lmao  
ANN: clean record so far! I'll come by your class tomorrow

  
She left the chat and turned off her phone, then laughed at herself. She'd wound up playing peacemaker after all.

  
\----------

  
"Ryuji, you are going to get us kicked _off the train - "_ she hissed between her clenched teeth.

  
"Nobody's even noticed. You worry too much - "

  
She extracted herself from his wandering hands and found a seat, the only one available, between two strangers. She glared at him pointedly and pulled out her phone.

  
ANN: doing stuff in public is NOT my thing  
ANN: come on. four more stops  
ANN: you'd better face away. you really are gonna get kicked off if you're like that

  
His face flushed a little as he tugged his t-shirt lower over his uniform pants.

  
RYUJI: you're such a hardass.  
ANN: aren't you sick of getting interrupted? let's do it right for once

  
He twisted just enough to roll his eyes at her over his shoulder, but didn't argue.

  
\----------

  
He didn't even wait for her to take her boots off. She only managed to unlock her front door and hold it wide for him; he slammed it behind him, threw his bag into the corner and hiked her over his shoulder, all in one motion. She let the straps of her bag slip from her fingers.

  
_"Ryujiiii - "_ she howled. She kicked her feet feebly, not really trying to get away.

  
He grunted and staggered a few steps into her house, trying to remember the layout. "Forgot how heavy you are."

  
She was about to flare up at him but bit back her response. Maybe she could let it slide for once. She put all of her effort into pummeling his back instead. "Put me _down_ then!"

  
He chose the kitchen and settled her onto the countertop, a little too hard; there was still a bruise on her tailbone and she whimpered at the impact. He didn't hear it. He was somehow already kissing her, both hands up her shirt.

  
Ann squeezed her thighs around his waist and saw the problem before he did. _Let him figure it out on his own._ Kissing him was taking up most of her brain power anyway. He was scrabbling at the clasp of her bra now, and she decided she could at least help him out there. He groaned into her mouth, sounding grateful.

  
He might have picked up something about kissing from the internet, if the last time he'd kissed her in Mementos had been any indication, but apparently he'd forgotten it again. He thrust his tongue into her mouth, two steps ahead, and she had to pull back and wipe her lips.

  
He wasn't offended this time. Maybe he hadn't even realized. He just used the space to unzip his fly to give himself a little room, then reached up under her skirt and stroked her through her panties. _"Someone's_ wet."

  
Heart thudding in her chest, she drew him close and rested her chin on top of his head to catch her breath. He moved _fast._

  
He leaned away again to pull off his blazer, then his t-shirt, and flung them to the floor. There'd been no time to turn on the lights, so she only had grey, ambient sunlight shining through the closed blinds to see him by. But it was good enough.

  
"Bring those back over here - "

  
"What, these?" He flexed his pecs for her and they both laughed. "I showed you mine. Where's yours?"

  
"Here." She had a lot more layers to get through than he did. Her blazer, then her hoodie, then her tank, then her bra joined his t-shirt on the kitchen floor. "Phew!" Her hair floated around her head in a staticky mess.

  
His warm hands were already squeezing her roughly again, just how she liked it. She could feel herself getting even wetter as he played with her breasts and let out a pleased hum. _Now_ she'd finally get what she'd been waiting for.

  
Of course, what Ryuji was doing _wasn't_ what she'd been waiting for, nice though it was. She reached around his arms and slipped her fingers into the waistband of his pants, then undid the button. "Got something for me?" she whispered.

  
For a moment she couldn't hear anything but his noisy breath in her ear as she stroked him through his briefs with just her fingertips. "Uh... huh... " He arched his hips into her touch until she had him straining against the fabric, ready to go. His thighs hit the cupboards below the countertop.

  
Now he saw the problem. She giggled as he frowned, dismayed.

  
"If I go up on my toes - "

  
She shook her head, smiling. "Give it up, dumbass. Like, it's a hot _idea,_ but - "

  
"Yeah. The height's wrong. All you'll get is the tip, if we do it here."

  
"I need more than _that!"_ She hopped down from the counter and led him to her bedroom.

  
\----------

  
He shoved her back onto her bed and crushed her beneath him a second later, their legs tangling as her hair blinded them both. "Why are you always _manhandling_ me - " she complained.

  
He laughed against her neck, his fingers already working at the zipper of her skirt. "Oh, come off it. You love it."

  
Arguing was pointless. Ann wrapped her legs around his waist and finally remembered that she still had her boots on when she knocked the heels into his back, making him flinch. _Whatever. He deserved that._ He was still struggling to undo her skirt. She slapped his bare shoulder. "Forget it. Just - " She lifted her hips and hooked both thumbs into her panties, then uncrossed her legs to slide them down.

  
He had to give her room to get them off. Her blinds were closed, and her room was darker than the kitchen; without the lights on, he was just a fuzzy shape in the dark, kneeling between her thighs. But there wasn't time. She felt herself throb, just as impatient as the rest of her. From the sounds of his clothing shifting, she guessed he was freeing himself from his briefs, and she realized that this was the third - fourth? - time she'd missed her chance to get a good look at him. But the weekend stretched ahead of them, and she knew that there would be time for her to get everything she wanted. She'd make sure of it.

  
Ryuji hadn't slowed down. He was already lining himself up before she realized what he was about to do. _"Wait - "_

  
"What?" To his credit, he didn't sound impatient or annoyed. Just confused.

  
"I need - I'm not ready."

  
"Shit. Sorry." He laid full length on top of her again, his knees and one elbow supporting most of his weight, and slowly pressed his finger inside her.

  
She sighed against him as her muscles relaxed. He'd started to curl his finger inside her, in and out, but she wanted to get to it. She was probably more impatient than him, in the end. "Okay. I'm ready." She remembered how he'd thrusted into her in the Mementos train shelter, pounding her hard enough to bump her head against the glass, and hurriedly added, "Go slow, okay?"

  
They exhaled in unison as he sank inside. She crossed her ankles behind his back again and grinned in the dark. _Finally._

  
He was being pretty quiet, for him. Just laying still, breathing shallowly. "You okay?"

  
"Yeah. Trying not to come."

  
She laughed in his ear. This time she couldn't help it. "You _can._ Just fuck me already."

  
He hadn't been exaggerating. He was quick. But he made good use of his time. He worked up to a good rhythm and she angled her hips up to him, crying out as he stretched her wide and hit that spot, over and over. Her mind went white.

  
She was still trying to put her thoughts together when he abruptly pulled out of her, leaving her empty and wanting, and knelt over her. She heard his breath hitch. A second later, something warm spread over her belly.

  
_Fuck._

  
She didn't snap at him. She didn't hit him, either, though the urge to strike him was there, too. She lay in the dark as he settled in next to her and tried to figure out what to say.

  
He kissed her neck. "How was that?" He sounded happy, at least.

  
"Good." _Mostly good. Kind of good._

  
_Almost good._

  
"Fuckin' finally, huh? No more interruptions?"

  
"Yeah." Her belly was starting to feel cold and uncomfortable. "Can you grab me a... ?"

  
He didn't know where her tissues were and had to turn on the light to find them; she did her best to hide the disappointment she was feeling before he could see it. As soon as she got a good look at him, she realized that he really hadn't been trying to piss her off. He hadn't meant to deny her. He was nothing but content.

  
_More crossed wires._

  
He leaned over her and wiped her clean, then tossed the tissue. He'd kicked off his shoes at some point, but she still wore her boots, so she flung them in the corner and pulled up the covers, both of them still more or less dressed from the waist down.

  
She tried for a light tone. "Feels better without a condom, right?"

  
"Yeah. I see what you mean. That was _way_ better."

  
_For you, maybe._ "So, uh. What was that about... ? At the end... ?" Maybe this was nothing more than a sex ed thing. "You _know_ I'm on the pill, right?"

  
"Well, yeah. That's why I didn't bring a condom this time. And. I trust you. If you say you're clean, I mean." He gave her an open, comfortable smile, but it wasn't enough to stop her.

  
"Okay, but, seriously." A little exasperation had crept into her voice, and she let it stay there. "Why'd you come on me?"

  
"Pull out method. Duh."

  
She wanted to scream. Her heart hammered in her chest and she swallowed, hard, trying to keep her voice even. "Ryuji. I'm on the pill. You don't need to - to do that."

  
He shrugged. "Why not be extra safe?"

  
She could just throttle him. She turned some of that energy to a different purpose and sat up quickly, making him jerk away from her in surprise, and straddled his waist until he rolled over onto his back. _"Ryuji,"_ she hissed.

  
"What?!" Clearly some of her displeasure had gotten through to him. He tensed and glared up at her.

  
She hunched over him, staring him down. "I _need_ \- okay, I _want_ \- just. Just don't do that. Next time. Come in me. Okay?"

  
"What about - ?"

  
"That doesn't even _work - "_ She'd raised her voice. _Come on. It's his first time. Be nice._ She sank down and buried her face against his neck. "Sorry," she muttered.

  
He was quiet for a moment. "You didn't like it, then?"

  
_Aw._ "I liked everything but when you pulled out and came on me," she said tersely.

  
"But you're supposed to - "

  
"You are _not_ supposed to." Finally she had an idea of where he might have gotten that idea. "Ryuji. Porn isn't real." _I should have posters made that say that. Stickers or something. T-shirts._

  
"Girls don't want that... ?" She'd hurt his feelings.

  
She switched tactics. "Do you want to know what it feels like?"

  
"What?"

 

"When you're inside?"

  
"I guess - " He was sullen, all injured pride and expectant resentfulness, as if he was waiting for the insults to start.

  
She settled a little more of her weight on top of him and smiled at the thought. Maybe it wasn't too late to fix things. Dirty talk was her old standby, so she tried it out on him. "It's like - you're _finally_ stretching me out. Filling me up. Your cock is so... that's what I was looking forward to. All this time," she whispered. "Deep and fast. But my favourite part - I didn't get to feel it this time."

  
His breath puffed against her hair, making it stir, as he settled his hands on her hips. "Your favourite part?" The hurt was gone from his voice.

  
"When you _come._ When you - it feels bigger, you know. Your cock. While you're coming inside. Or maybe just harder, for a few seconds. And the cum, it - it's _warm,_ and it leaks out - " Of course, she was just talking about her experiences with Akira and Mishima and applying them to something that hadn't happened yet with him, but maybe that didn't matter. She lifted her face away and peered at him, trying to gauge how he was taking it.

  
His mouth was open. She'd left him speechless.

  
She laid her face back down against his chest this time, enjoying his scent. He was a little sweaty now - they both were - but she liked how he smelled all the same. Clean and warm, somehow. "So give me that. Next time. Okay?"

  
"Fuck, you're _filthy - "_

  
She sighed. Maybe he had some points to critique her on himself. It was only fair. "Filthy-bad?"

  
"No. You're good." He held her tight for a second, then suddenly squeezed her bare ass under her skirt. His crooked grin was back. "So I get a second chance?"

  
"Course you do." She kissed him, and this time he was more restrained.

  
\----------

  
"You look good when you're all slippery." Ann stood behind Ryuji in the shower, admiring the shape of him as water sluiced down his back. His shoulders were a little broader than she remembered; the last time she'd seen him shirtless, aside from the afternoon she'd spent with him on his couch, had been months ago, when they'd gone to the beach with the other Thieves - or maybe it'd been Hawaii? He must've been hitting the gym pretty hard since then. It wasn't a lie, she really did like how he looked - but remembering how hurt he'd sounded made her a little quicker to compliment him, to patch things up. To make his first time something he'd want to look back on and remember, not something to move on from and forget. And it felt nice to make him feel good.

  
"Oh yeah?" He blindly reached behind him, trying to grab her, but she easily evaded him. He turned around, all smiles, and did exactly what she was expecting. "So do you." He scooped some suds from his chest and lathered hers with both hands, sliding his palms up and over her breasts.

  
Two could play at that game. Maybe their first time together hadn't quite met her expectations, but the light through the shower door was good enough to finally see what she wanted to see. His cock was only half hard, but she ran her fingers over it, first one hand, then the other, until it stirred to life and stood upright again. He was somewhere between Akira and Mishima in size - maybe a little closer to Akira, if her memory could be trusted - but his girth surprised her. "You're _thick."_ She closed the distance and laid her forehead against his chest so she could see him even better. Drawing his foreskin back with one hand, she cupped his balls with the other and sighed against him. Things were finally starting to go her way.

  
"You really _are_ a dick fiend." He groped her ass with both hands and pulled her close, his cock trapped between them.

  
"What does that even _mean - "_ She yelped and wriggled away when she felt him run his soapy fingers between her legs with one hand, then continue upwards against the crack of her ass with the other. _"Hey - "_ He laughed in her ear, low and full of intent. "Again? Already?" she asked.

  
"I mean. You didn't sound too happy with my first try today. Gotta prove myself, right?"

  
"Sorry. I was being mean." She stood on her toes to kiss him, but when she settled back down on her heels, she could tell that wasn't what he needed to hear; he was still apprehensive, his forehead laddered with worry lines. "Ryuji. You don't need to prove anything, okay? You did great." She squeezed his cock until he grinned at her. _That's better._

  
He'd returned his hands to her slippery breasts, eyes fixed upon them and nothing else. She had to tease him. "Are those your favourite or something? You should know what they look like by now."

  
This was apparently a matter worthy of deep introspection. He left his hands where they were and quirked his mouth, thinking hard. "Maybe? But I haven't seen all of you yet. Not very well, anyway." He gave her a crooked grin. "Wanna hop out?"

  
"You have too seen all of me - better than I've seen _you,_ at least," she argued, rinsing the last of the soap away and turning the water off. "I haven't even seen your balls - "

  
He dried himself but half-assed it; he was still mostly wet by the time he handed her the towel. "Why would you care about _balls - "_ He made sure she was looking at him and shoved his hand beneath them, angling his hips towards her so she could see them under the bright bathroom light. "There. Done."

  
They laughed together and returned to her bedroom.

  
\----------

  
They'd both been too impatient to towel off properly, so they stretched out on top of her covers and air dried. Ann lay on her belly in the opposite direction, with her face close to his feet. She slung her arm around his good leg and enjoyed his warmth while she dried off, little droplets tickling her back as they streamed down from her wet hair.

  
She zoned out for a bit, though apparently Ryuji hadn't. He sounded thoughtful. "Am I one of your boys now?"

  
She smiled, her face pressed into her covers. "Yup."

  
"Sorry. Maybe I don't get all of it."

  
"What's to get?"

  
He rested his warm palm on her ass, making her jump. But he just left it there. "If we're gonna keep f- sleeping together, or whatever - "

  
"You can say 'fucking', Ryuji. You're allowed," she smirked.

  
"Okay, fine - if we're gonna keep doin' that, are those guys part of the package? Is that how it is?"

  
"I don't think I get you. Akira and Mishima?"

  
"Yeah. If I _want_ to keep - fucking you - do they gotta be part of the deal, or - "

  
She sat up, all at once. He didn't look like he was joking. "What?"

  
"Guess I should've asked about this first, but - "

  
"Ryuji, _no,_ nobody's gonna make you - like, why would you even... " She really couldn't figure him out sometimes. "You think I'm gonna... what, _withhold_ from you if you don't... if you don't want what we were doing? The three of us?"

  
He didn't nod, but he didn't shake his head, either. She draped herself over his chest and gave him a hug, mumbling into his neck. "Aw. Ryuji. That's just... our thing. Me and them. That's separate from what you and me do. We don't have to share stuff anymore, either. If it feels weird."

  
He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. She couldn't guess how he was feeling from his tone; he didn't sound upset or anxious again. If anything, he just sounded as though he was trying to figure something out. "That part was fun, though."

  
She had a lot to figure out herself. "But. I still don't get why you'd think that? Like, you told me you're _straight,_ nobody's gonna expect you to... "

  
"Yeah, but. Almost as soon as you and me started doing this - like, it was Sunday, right, when my mom walked in on us, and then by Wednesday, after we got back from Mementos, I started hearin' a whole lot more from those guys. I mean, me n' Akira're buddies, we hang out, and we do the Thief thing, but I don't chat with him every day. Or, I didn't. But _now_ I sure do."

  
She lifted her head, incredulous. "You do? I don't. Not recently, anyway."

  
"Yeah, him and Mishima both. That's another thing. I haven't chatted with him like this in _years._ I sorta thought we didn't have anythin' in common anymore and I was just gonna leave it like that. You know. That happens sometimes. It wasn't like we had a big fight or anything."

  
"So is it all dirty talk like that one day, or?"

  
"Heh. Yeah. A lot of it is. Some of it's just friend shit. 'How are you's. I dunno. I just started hearin' from them a lot more, all at once, right after you n' me - well. It's like we're all closer, automatically. So I sorta thought they were connected. Somehow." He started combing his fingers through her wet hair, gently untangling the occasional knot. "Then there was that shit with Akira in Mementos."

  
"Yeah - did you make up? Properly? You're talking about him as if you're all good now, but - "

  
"Yeah. We're good. Saw him at lunch today. He brought me some curry."

  
She giggled against him. "That means he luuuuuvs yoooou - " she singsonged.

  
"Ugh. Don't even joke." He fell silent for a long moment, focusing on her hair. "Maybe not love, but that thing with him in Mementos was sorta also why I thought you three were. You know. A package deal. All the extra attention from them, all of a sudden, then the dirty talk, then Akira actin' like that in Mementos - I told him no, but then later I started to think maybe I just didn't get it. Like, maybe when I started things up with you I just didn't know what I was gettin' myself into, like it was somethin' everybody but me knew about ahead of time."

  
"Aw. I'm sorry. We're the ones being - weird. I guess. Them and me. It can be just the two of us." She fought with herself, trying to figure out whether she should bring up something he might not want to discuss. But it was relevant, so she went for it. "I don't think he thought the three of us were a package deal. Akira, I mean. But I do think he misunderstood you."

  
"Yeah, _I'd_ say he did, if I had my dick out and he wouldn't fuckin' leave when I told him to - "

  
"Did he tell you any more? When you talked at lunch?"

  
He shrugged beneath her, and she lay beside him, her head on his shoulder. He really was like a furnace; the air was cool on her wet hair but everywhere she touched him, he kept her warm. "Nah. Not really a hallway kinda topic, is it."

  
"Well... Like, don't think I'm siding with him. He was being creepy. But. Do you understand why he might get that idea into his head... ?"

  
He snorted. "Akira just thinks all the dudes'll fall for him like all the girls do - "

  
"Heh. Don't get him talking about his dick, either. You'll never hear the end of it."

  
He rolled his eyes and made a face. "Too fuckin' late - "

  
She threw back her head and laughed. "Geeze, even the straight guy can't get out of hearing about it - "

  
She had him laughing too now, at least. "Fuckin' _Mishima_ had to tell him to stop. Maybe he's sick of hearin' about it by now, too."

  
Of course, that brought things right back to the point she'd been trying to make. "So. If they start talking about stuff like that, _you_ don't tell them to stop... ?"

  
He grinned at her. "Nah. That's not - that's just guy stuff. I can handle shit like that."

  
"Okay, but... asking them who tops? What kind of sex Mishima prefers? Is _that_ just guy stuff... ?"

  
He started to scowl, but then seemed to reconsider. "You think that's why Akira was all over me? Just because I asked them some questions?"

  
_Finally he gets it._ "Uh, probably. Akira's a big believer in signals."

  
"See, I don't think I even get what he means by that. He kept goin' on about signals, but it's not like I was doing anything different. Just talking."

  
"I think he definitely took that thing with you and me on the bus as a signal, though. And that wasn't just talking."

  
He groaned and let his head fall back against the pillow. _"That_ again - I was just - "

  
She waited for him to finish, but it didn't seem like he was going to. "You were just... ?"

  
Suddenly he was defensive. "Why're we - I'm here to see _you._ Akira ain't here. So forget him."

  
Maybe that was enough for now. "Okay, okay. Just trying to see where you guys were at." She sat up and laid opposite to him again, stretching her legs and then laying face down on top of the covers.

  
His thoughts were already on other things. The bed shifted as he sat up. "Did I make you come yet?"

  
_Straightforward as usual._

  
She played coy as his fingers slid between her thighs; he pulled his legs out of the way, so she wriggled to the centre of the bed and spread her legs for him, still on her belly. "You'd know if you did... " She'd been thinking that she'd let it slide just this once, given that it was his first time, but she was pleasantly surprised again. At least he'd thought of her.

  
"C'mere. Back that up." He yanked her hips toward him, making her yelp in surprise. She didn't quite understand what he wanted, so he pushed and pulled at her until she was on all fours, crouched in front of him.

  
"More _manhandling - "_ When she glanced back, she saw that he'd sat up crosslegged, resting his back against her headboard.

  
"Told you. I never got to see all of you." He gripped her ass with his warm hands until she tilted her hips for him.

  
She couldn't see him, but she pictured him bringing his face right up close to study her and laughed. "I already _sent_ you photos. And I was mostly naked in Mementos, so - "

  
"Not the same. And now the light's good, so - "

  
She felt his breath heat up her skin _\- he really IS close -_ and then his tongue slipped into her. Without time to prepare, she let out a harsh gasp and dropped her face to the covers.

  
He didn't tease her like she'd expected. He just went back to it. _His nose must be -_ "U-uh. Don't you want me to flip over... ?" she managed to get out between gasps.

  
"Unh unh," he murmured directly into her, his mouth wide open to let his tongue in. She _could_ direct him. He'd had no experience and seemed to just be exploring her, mouthing at her folds and avoiding her clit entirely. But she reminded herself to be patient. She was just expecting too much, too fast. She shut her eyes and leaned into him.

  
He got better, in time. From what she could tell, he was listening to her sighs, so she directed him that way, letting herself moan outright when he finally trailed his tongue a little lower, down to where her clit was. But then he withdrew entirely until she couldn't even feel his breath against her. Something snarky was on the tip of her tongue - "Hair in your mouth?", maybe - when she felt his hands back on her hips again. He had a little more experience with fingering, so maybe that was where he was going to take it. She settled herself on her knees and elbows and waited expectantly.

  
Instead, Ryuji spread her ass with his hands and moved up, not down. He relaxed his tongue, making it fat and wide, and licked her somewhere she'd never been licked before.

  
_"Ffffhhuck - "_ She jolted away and kicked him in the chest and collapsed onto her belly, all at once.

  
"Too much?" He didn't sound hurt, just attentive. Solicitous, even. He bent at the waist and pulled her back up towards him, then gave her ass a kiss.

  
She wanted to laugh. "You - _why_ would you - god, Ryuji - "

  
"You didn't like it?"

  
That wasn't it at all. "No, that was really - I mean - "

  
She didn't exactly have to twist his arm, she noticed. He spread her open again and licked her there, right _there_ , and she couldn't help it. She shuddered with her entire body and groaned into the covers. He seemed to take it as encouragement and lapped at her, being far more gentle than he had been a moment ago when he'd been tonguing her a little lower down.

  
She froze at the thought. "You - unh. S-stop - " He did, immediately. "You know not to - you can't go back to - "

  
"I'm not stupid. I know not to." He'd already started licking her again, slicking her with saliva and caressing her with his tongue, and she felt the last of her reservations fade away. She relaxed, and gave into it.

  
It was both like being eaten out, and not at all like it at the same time. Her nerves sizzled and frayed and she lost track of time, just crying out with each breath. Every cry was dragged out of her, ragged and guttural, and she couldn't even recognize her voice as her own. It was out of her control, just like the rest of her body was. She could feel a little of his stubble prickling at her and realized she'd been grinding her ass right up against his face all this time, digging her toes into the bed to gain more leverage and push into him even harder. Her stomach cringed in on itself with shame.  
She needn't have worried. His fingers were clamped around her hips in an iron grip, pulling her against him just as much as she was pushing, and she could hear him breathing, fast little pants that tickled her skin. Something about what he was doing just now with his tongue was different, something about the shape of it lapping at her, and she realized she could feel his face pressing against her below. Even though that part of her had been mostly neglected all this time, she felt herself just get wetter and wetter, slick against the point of his chin, and grinded against him even harder. Her orgasm mounted but she was left high and dry; what he was doing was incredible, enough to wipe almost all thought from her mind and leave her with nothing but sensation, but it wasn't enough on its own. Her muscles tightened, and she held her breath, but she was only on the edge of it, riding it for what felt like minutes without relief.

  
She stopped moving against him, her mind empty, and tried to talk. The first noise she made just sounded as though she'd swallowed her tongue, and he either didn't hear it or didn't think it was any different from all the other strange noises she'd been making. She tried again. "Ryuuuji - " she slurred.

  
"Mm." He slowed down but didn't stop, instead dragging his tongue against her in a slow swipe.

  
"Please... put it in... I want... " Too late, she realized how he might interpret what she'd said; she wanted him inside her, but only in the way she was used to. In the end she wound up with a third option, when he pulled his face away and pistoned his finger into her pussy until she came, hard. She ground her face into the covers below her and slammed her hips back against his hand until her orgasm finally took her. She fell forward, unable to hold herself up anymore, and lay facedown, still quivering.

  
"Unnngh... " She felt like a pile of goo.

  
The mattress moved a little beneath her as he changed position, and when she heard his voice above her, she could tell he was raised on all fours above her. "Did I kill you?" he teased.

  
"Yes... "

  
He lowered himself on top of her, keeping most of his weight on his knees. He slid his hand between her and the mattress and gave her breast a friendly squeeze. "Maybe we should just do it like this."

  
He couldn't have seen the way her face lit up, but he probably heard it in her voice. Even after what he'd just given her, she was greedy. His finger couldn't compare. "If you don't mind doing most of the work - " She angled her hips up and grinded against him, trying to line herself up. She only managed to smear her own fluids, or maybe his saliva, against his leg.

  
"I meant _next_ time." Now he sounded a little rueful. "Sorry. Couldn't wait."

  
"You already... ?"

  
His voice sounded like he was grinning. He had no shame. "On my leg."

  
Maybe _that_ had been what she'd felt. "Ryuji, you proooomised... " she whined. But it was just for show, and he knew it. After what he'd just done, she had no right to be disappointed.

  
He laughed at her, hard, when she finally sat up and had to wipe the drool from her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if rimming's not your thing! Don't worry, it's not going to become a mainstay for the rest of the story or anything.


	26. Passing grade. Awards ceremony. "This is just for me."

They both took a turn in the bathroom; Ann to get rid of some of the slickness she still felt, and Ryuji to brush his teeth and use her mouthwash. She insisted on it. "If you want to kiss me ever again - "

  
"Okay, _okay,_ bossy lady - "

  
She curled against him, both of them naked and under the covers now. Her hair had dried to a wild frizzy mess, and she wasn't looking forward to untangling it, so she didn't. She listened to his heart thud beneath her ear, slow and steady, and breathed in his scent.

  
"Do I get a passing grade now?"

  
"Huh?" She still felt a little dopey. "Oh. Because - ?" She stretched out her arm and pulled him tighter. "Aw. You don't have to... I mean. You always passed. There's no test."

  
He was smiling. Maybe he'd been joking after all. Half joking. "Bet they didn't do _that_ for you."

  
"Nope." But then she got it. Something clicked into place for her. "You've been... that's why you keep doing porn stuff, huh?" Sympathy washed over her as she realized how he must have been feeling. _Tied up in knots all this time..._

  
"That wasn't _porn_ stuff - real people do that too - " But there was a note of uncertainty in his voice.

  
"Picking me up and doing it against the wall your _first time,_ though... ? Was that why you came on me, too?"

  
"You sounded plenty happy when I had my tongue - "

  
"I'm not _complaining,_ Ryuji, I just - " She took a breath. It was so easy to turn a question into a fight, with him. She kissed his chest, trying to slow things down again. "I really _was_ plenty happy. I - I fucking _loved_ that." She wasn't exaggerating.

  
"Yeah?" He sounded pleased. "Good."

  
"I, uh. Can't believe you went there, though. Like, that wasn't... gross... ?"

  
He shook his head.

  
She stared at him. "That's _nice_ of you, but I don't really believe you."

  
He was enjoying the attention. "You think I'd do it that long if I thought you were gross?"

  
She remembered the sensation of losing track of time and wondered just how long he'd kept himself busy there, patiently waiting for her to come. "How could it _not_ be gross?"

  
He squeezed her shoulder to bring her closer and kissed her temple. "Nope. Not gross. You smell nice."

  
The absurdity of what he'd said struck her just right and she lost it. She laughed until she cried and listened to him join in, and it just made her laugh harder. "'You s-smell nice'... Jesus, Ryuji - "

  
She was still giggling when he gave in and answered her. "It doesn't taste like that. Doesn't taste like much at all, really." He gave her a simple smile, still pleased with himself. Proud, maybe. "The smell's more like your pussy than - than what you'd think."

  
"Were you really thinking of doing that all the way back in the shower, though? Is that why you soaped me there... ?"

  
He nodded, then gave her a crooked grin. "And, I mean. I feel bad. You've still got that big bruise from when I broke your ass. Least I could do is kiss it better." He got her laughing all over again.

  
She remembered what they'd been talking about a moment ago, and then a comment he'd made in their chat after their first Mementos trip together came back to her. She softened her voice, trying to make him understand. "You don't have to impress me. You shouldn't - like, try to think of what _you_ like. Think of what you think I'd like. Don't think about what those guys have already done, or haven't done." She sat up so she could see his face. "It's not a contest. You're not being tested. Okay?"

  
"I just wanted to do it right."

  
She hummed happily. "You did. You definitely did." Maybe she'd finally convinced him. He did look more at ease. She was starting to think about what she could microwave for the two of them to eat when her phone vibrated on top of her desk. A few seconds later, his phone did the same from somewhere on the floor.

  
"Wanna take a break?" He shrugged, then nodded, so she fetched her phone and dug his out of his pants pocket, then came back to bed.

  
"Akira's messaging me." His face was hard to read.

  
"I've got Mishima." She grinned at him. "Bet they've been up to the same stuff we have." But Ryuji was still staring at his screen. "Are you and him still okay? Or?"

  
He shrugged again. "Yeah. I mean. He's bein' nice to me. I can't just be mad forever." They each went back to their phones and chatted with Akira and Mishima until their individual conversations both started to head in the same direction. They looked at each other at the same time.

  
"This is startin' to get - "

  
"Yeah. Mine too. So, uh. Are you _really_ okay with sharing everything? With them? Because it's really not... a requirement, or whatever. If you want to keep seeing me, I mean."

  
"I get it." He settled in next to her and they both drew their knees up, tapping into their phones. "Let's just do it. I already went into TMI territory with them a long time ago." Maybe she still didn't look convinced. "And... maybe I wanna be invited to the secret clubhouse. Just talking, I mean. I can handle that."

  
She okayed it with Akira and Mishima, then added them all to the same chat.

  
ANN: hey boys  
ANN: he says he wants to see our secret clubhouse lol  
AKIRA: Well. Ryuji's been to Leblanc before, though.  
RYUJI: not when it was full of naked people!  
MISHIMA: We never did get our mugs made.  
ANN: aaaaaa I forgot about that  
RYUJI: ?  
ANN: we were talking about getting 'team merchandise' made  
ANN: mugs. jackets  
MISHIMA: Trophies.  
AKIRA: That trophy was going to be for you specifically, I think.  
MISHIMA: Oh, right. My 'double not-a-virgin' trophy.  
MISHIMA: My crowning achievement! :D  
RYUJI: the fuck are you goin on about?  
AKIRA: Maybe Ann didn't tell you as much as we thought.  
RYUJI: i think i know the gist but not much for specifics. except for ann's ass. i'd say we covered that pretty well.  
MISHIMA: True.  
RYUJI: i just don't get what a double virgin trophy is.  
MISHIMA: Double NOT-a-virgin trophy.  
MISHIMA: I'm the only one who gets it both ways. So I win. I'm the king.  
RYUJI: lmao  
RYUJI: I mean. that's a good point.  
AKIRA: Your trophy, Mishima-san.

  
Akira sent three emojis: the eggplant, the peach, and the trophy.

  
AKIRA: However. If anyone is king, it's me.

  
This time, he only sent two: the eggplant and the trophy.

  
MISHIMA: There he goes.  
RYUJI: THIS AGAIN.  
RYUJI: why do you get the dick trophy, anyway?  
AKIRA: I think we both know why.  
AKIRA: Ann, you're the only one qualified to judge. Break the news to poor Ryuji.  
ANN: asdfkljds  
ANN: YOU AND YOUR DICK  
AKIRA: Yes, me and my award winning dick.

  
He sent the eggplant and the trophy emojis again.

  
RYUJI: spamming it don't make it true...  
RYUJI: break the news to poor akira, ann.

  
He turned his head to grin at her expectantly. She just rolled her eyes at him and returned to their chat.

  
ANN: first of all. size doesn't matter  
ANN: second of all. you both think you deserve the dick trophy? I think Mishima should be a contender based on like  
ANN: aesthetic merit  
RYUJI: lol what?  
RYUJI: what does that mean?  
ANN: his is nicer looking than either of yours  
MISHIMA: HA  
MISHIMA: You've always been my favourite, Ann.  
ANN: come join us, bb  
ANN: my bed is big enough ;)  
ANN: Akira's not invited though, him and that big dick of his can just keep each other company

  
Ryuji was looking from his screen to her face in disbelief.

  
"I'm _kidding,_ god Ryuji - " She kissed his forehead. "Just you and me, this weekend."

  
"I know _that - "_ He returned to their chat and she realized the real reason for the face he'd been making.

  
RYUJI: when did she get so dirty?  
MISHIMA: Must've been Akira. She was always like this with me.  
AKIRA: Me and my big dick tend to have that effect.  
AKIRA: I think she just told us who won the trophy, actually.

  
He sent the eggplant and the trophy emojis for the third time.

  
RYUJI: hold up, hold up.  
RYUJI: you don't get to award this one. ann's the judge.

  
There was a bit of a pause in the chat as they waited for her decision.

  
ANN: sorry boys. this one's a tie  
RYUJI: bullshiiiiiit.  
AKIRA: We can't be EXACTLY the same size.  
ANN: you aren't  
MISHIMA: I think I'm out of the running for this one.  
MISHIMA: Even with my 'aesthetic merit' points.  
MISHIMA: I've already got my other trophy, so I can be the bigger man and drop out of the running.  
MISHIMA: To see who's the biggest man? lol  
ANN: still a tie  
AKIRA: Explain yourself, woman!  
MISHIMA: Be careful, Ann. This is extremely important to him.  
ANN: oh, I know. believe me  
ANN: so I don't say this lightly  
ANN: my ruling is a tie, because Akira is longer, but Ryuji is thicker

  
She grinned at Ryuji. He was killing himself laughing. It was a while before he could type again.

  
RYUJI: it's okay. i concede.  
RYUJI: akira, you win this one.  
MISHIMA: He's too busy pouting.  
MISHIMA: Thanks Ann. Now I'll have to spend the rest of the night consoling him.  
AKIRA: I don't need your pity trophy, Ryuji.  
AKIRA: I know I'm a winner.  
RYUJI: nope. i'll let you have this round, because i KNOW i win the hardcore trophy.  
AKIRA: The what?  
ANN: maybe it should be called the bravery trophy

  
She sent two emojis: a medal, then the trophy.

  
MISHIMA: Shouldn't I be a contender for the hardcore trophy? Remember, Ann?  
ANN: yessss  
ANN: mmf  
ANN: that was hot  
ANN: but Ryuji's got you beat. sorry  
RYUJI: wait, what did he do?  
AKIRA: He ate her out after coming in her.  
RYUJI: shit, dude!  
RYUJI: your own?!  
MISHIMA: Is it better if it's someone else's?  
RYUJI: yes!  
RYUJI: no?  
RYUJI: I dunno lol.  
RYUJI: you're dirty too!  
MISHIMA: ;_;  
RYUJI: you used to be so shy.  
ANN: Akira corrupted him  
ANN: he used to be a nice boy. what a shame  
ANN: he even wrecked my rug, Ryuji  
RYUJI: how did he do that?  
AKIRA: Collateral damage. Just like Ann's panties.  
MISHIMA: And her couch. And YOUR couch.  
AKIRA: AND my underwear. AND my sheets.  
RYUJI: what?  
ANN: Mishima's a  
ANN: I dunno. some kinda jizz monster  
RYUJI: ???  
MISHIMA: You're just mad you didn't get to keep it all.  
MISHIMA: I think Ann's the jizz monster.  
RYUJI: you're right about that. thought she was gonna beat the shit outta me today.  
RYUJI: fuckin scary.  
MISHIMA: Akira, now that it's just Sakamoto, Ann's just gonna keep hulking out if she doesn't get her supply.  
AKIRA: Yeah, I think we'd better help Ryuji out. No one man can keep her topped up.  
MISHIMA: Lives are at stake! Sakamoto, until we can help, it's up to you.  
ANN: what have I done  
RYUJI: i'll do my best, but i have to sleep at some point... what then?  
AKIRA: This is on us, Mishima. We made this monster.  
MISHIMA: Maybe this calls for another team meetup. So we can lay the beast to rest once again.  
ANN: I'm a BEAST now?  
ANN: I regret everything  
ANN: hey, what happened to our awards ceremony?  
MISHIMA: I got mine. I'm the king. You're just trying to take the heat off you.  
RYUJI: yeah, jizz monster.  
RYUJI: although we were competing for the hardcore award, weren't we.  
RYUJI: think i got you beat, man.  
ANN: sorry, Mishima  
ANN: oh. unless. maybe we need a reevaluation  
ANN: might change my mind ;)  
RYUJI: alright. round two. if that's what it takes.

  
He pretended to grab at her, grinning.

  
She evaded him easily. "I meant him!"

  
ANN: if he does it again this soon I think I'm gonna pass out lol  
RYUJI: had her drooling...  
AKIRA: Okay, I have to know.  
MISHIMA: Yeah. How could he beat me so easily, Ann? :(  
ANN: sorry. you boys aren't hardcore enough  
ANN: he said that since he broke my ass, he'd better kiss it better  
RYUJI: it was only fair.  
AKIRA: Yup. You win.  
MISHIMA: You just... kissed her? Or  
MISHIMA: Oooh.  
ANN: lol  
MISHIMA: I know when I'm beat.

  
Akira sent a medal emoji, then a trophy emoji.

  
AKIRA: Bravery trophy goes to Ryuji.  
RYUJI: thank yoooou, thank yooooou  
MISHIMA: Aw, poor Ann has no trophies.  
AKIRA: She'll just have to try harder.  
ANN: nope. got my trophy in the bag  
ANN: who do you think gets the experience trophy?  
ANN: allllll mine  
RYUJI: think you mean the thirst trophy, dirty girl.  
MISHIMA: HA

  
Akira sent two water droplet emojis, followed by the trophy emoji.

  
AKIRA: Yup. Ann is King of Thirst. No contest.  
ANN: what!  
ANN: you two have been doing the same thing we've been doing this weekend. I guarantee it  
ANN: so why am I the thirsty one, huh?  
RYUJI: do i need to send them that photo you sent me?  
ANN: that proves nothing  >_>  
MISHIMA: Are we doing photos?  
MISHIMA: Been a while since I've gotten to see you, Ann. :)  
ANN: I'm not opposed lol  
ANN: but you boys are going to make poor Ryuji blind  
ANN: so maybe we shouldn't

  
She stuck out her tongue at him, feeling as though she'd just gotten away with something. He shoved her shoulder and went back to typing.

  
RYUJI: you just don't wanna admit your thirst.  
MISHIMA: Yeah, Ann. You should embrace it.  
RYUJI: if you guys wanna do photos, i just won't look at em.  
AKIRA: Well. If you're sure. You didn't seem too happy when I walked in on you guys before.  
AKIRA: Isn't this kind of like that? Or close to it? If you send us photos?  
MISHIMA: Yeah, didn't you guys have a big fight about that?

  
Ann and Ryuji traded glances, staying silent for the time being. She was surprised to see Akira bring it up in front of Mishima, given the fact that the fight had taken place in Mementos, so she waited to see how he'd explain things.

  
AKIRA: Yeah. Ann keeps calling it crossed wires. I guess it is like that. I thought you were inviting me to join you guys at Ryuji's place but I must've gotten it wrong.  
RYUJI: it's okay. we already covered it.  
RYUJI: this is different.

  
"You're really sure? You're gonna get an eyeful," she teased.

  
He sighed, annoyed. "I'm not like that! I keep tellin' you I'm not - like, prejudiced. If I get grossed out it's my own damn fault." He was scrolling through his saved photos. "Besides. I think they'd like this one." It was the photo she'd sent him, the one she'd taken with her toy inside her. He waited until she nodded her permission, then sent it without further comment.

  
There was a pause in the chat, long enough for Ann to start feeling nervous. "Uh, maybe that's just not their thing."

  
MISHIMA: You really go from 0 to 100, huh.  
AKIRA: Yeah, I thought we were going to see your tits or something, lol.  
ANN: aw. Ryuji liked that one. maybe I should take a different one  
RYUJI: these guys just have no taste, ann.  
MISHIMA: I didn't say I didn't like it!  
MISHIMA: Uh. Is that you, Sakamoto?  
AKIRA: No, he said Ann sent it to him.  
AKIRA: Who's your new friend, Ann?

  
She started giggling when she realized they'd made the same assumption Ryuji had when she'd first sent him the photo.

  
ANN: snerk  
ANN: Akira, you bought the stupid thing. I can't believe you don't recognize it  
AKIRA: Oh. Right, I did.  
AKIRA: You told me you didn't like it, remember?  
RYUJI: aha. that just proves her thirst then.  
MISHIMA: Yeah, what's that phrase?  
MISHIMA: Any port in a storm?  
RYUJI: yeah. any dick in a... something.  
ANN: you guys are not exactly paying yourself any compliments if you talk about me like that, you know  
ANN: see if I send you any photos ever again  
AKIRA: Lol  
AKIRA: Don't be sad.  
AKIRA: We like your photo.  
MISHIMA: Akira REALLY likes your photo.  
AKIRA: Look who's talking.

  
She was about to yank the covers down to check for herself, but Ryuji did it on his own. He flashed her a crooked grin and showed her.

  
RYUJI: lol. we all like ann's photo.  
ANN: maybe you boys should show ME something  
ANN: how's your weekend going?  
MISHIMA: Uh, no drooling on our end.  
AKIRA: Yeah, sorry Ann. We just aren't on your level.  
MISHIMA: Ann, he's attacking me now... ;_;  
RYUJI: poor defenseless mishima. akira's being mean to you, isn't he.  
MISHIMA: You have no idea lol. We, uh, tried some stuff.  
ANN: oooh  
ANN: tell me alllll about it

  
But the chat went quiet again. Apparently Akira was keeping Mishima too busy to reply.

  
She rolled over and slung her arm across Ryuji's chest. "Any of this making you feel weird?"

  
"Nah. More like I get to be included, now."

  
"Aw." He lowered his knees and stretched out his legs, and she let her fingers trail down his belly. "You don't have to make yourself - "

  
"I'm not makin' myself do anything. Told you. It's fine."

  
She took his word for it. Their chat was still silent, so she gave Ryuji some attention. He let his phone fall to the covers beside him as she wrapped her fingers around his length and slowly stroked him. Her hand found a good rhythm without her having to put too much thought into it. Maybe it was muscle memory by now. She laid her ear over his heart and listened to it beat faster, not thinking about much in particular. Then their phones buzzed in unison.

  
She kept her hand going, and she thought he'd ignore their chat, given what she was doing, but he surprised her by picking up his phone. Taking that as permission to stop, she picked up her own and looked at their chat.

  
MISHIMA: Akira, why did you have to send that. -_-

  
Ann scrolled back up to the photo Akira had just sent. It was positively tame compared to what Ryuji had sent them - despite Ryuji's assurances, they must have been trying to go easy on him. This one showed Mishima, shirtless and laying on Akira's pillow, though the camera had only caught him from the shoulders up. She grinned when she realized when Akira had taken it. Mishima's eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted, and his face was flushed.

  
AKIRA: You said I could!  
RYUJI: is that when you were sleeping or something?  
MISHIMA: Uh, no...  
ANN: aw, you look happy  
ANN: I miss seeing that  
RYUJI: happy?  
RYUJI: i mean, i guess. he just looks  
RYUJI: oh.  
ANN: that's his o face Ryuji  
ANN: lmao  
AKIRA: Well. Just after that, technically.  
AKIRA: Too much for you?  
AKIRA: Sorry.  
MISHIMA: I mean. I already talked Akira out of sending you his dick.

  
She glanced over at Ryuji, trying to see how he'd taken it. When she peeked over his shoulder at his screen, she saw that he'd scrolled back up to the picture of Mishima and was giving it a closer look. He realized she'd caught him and turned to her, smiling, before returning to the chat.

  
RYUJI: it's not too much.  
RYUJI: i kinda like seeing you happy, man.  
RYUJI: relaxed?  
RYUJI: you don't look like that at school.  
MISHIMA: I hope not!  
RYUJI: you know what i mean lol.  
RYUJI: hey. so. it sucks we don't hang out anymore.  
RYUJI: sorry.  
MISHIMA: You don't have to say sorry. I didn't keep it up either.  
RYUJI: did i ever take you to the best ramen place?  
AKIRA: It actually is really good.  
AKIRA: Ryuji knows ramen.  
MISHIMA: No, I haven't had ramen in ages.  
RYUJI: let's go sometime. when akira gives you a break, lol.  
MISHIMA: That sounds good. :)  
ANN: ahem. I have a good photo in mind if you guys don't mind waiting a few...

  
Ryuji leaned over and caught her with her fingers inside herself, getting herself ready.

  
RYUJI: duty calls!  
AKIRA: Poor Ryuji. Ann won't be satisfied until she's drained him dry.

  
Mishima was typing, but she tossed her phone onto her pile of clothing on the floor with her clean hand and kept fingering herself with the other.

  
Ryuji kept his phone and was already training it on what her fingers were doing, kneeling between her legs. She pulled it out of his hands before he could get a shot and set it aside. "Up for more?"

  
Instead of answering he laid on top of her and took her nipple in his mouth, sucking hard enough to make her clap her thighs around his waist and squeal indignantly. The sound just made him switch to the other. _Maybe those really are his favourite._ She yanked at his hair until he yelped and pinched her nipples, laughing.

  
She opened her thighs wide again. "Put it in already!"

  
"So _bossy - "_

  
He could be obedient, when he wanted to be. He sank in, not bothering to be careful this time, and she hissed through her teeth as he stretched her wide again. She'd have to remember to prepare more thoroughly for him than she was used to.

  
He'd already started to move, though he was clearly still waiting for her; he grinned down at her and rocked back and forth on his toes, really just inching in and out of her. "Want me to show them _your_ face? That it?"

  
"Nope. I'll be the photographer." She reached for his phone.

  
"You can't even see anythin' if I'm like this - "

  
"Yes I caaaaan - " she singsonged. "C'mon. Lift up."

  
She directed him until she had the perfect angle, then took the photo. He didn't give her long to admire it - he was already hanging his head over her shoulder and thudding into her, hard, and she could barely catch her breath again. She wrapped her legs around his waist and listened to him groan in her ear. He was a little louder this time, a little more vocal, and she almost wanted to focus on that instead of what he was doing, but she wasn't given the chance - he hit that spot, again and again, and her voice drowned him out. He fucked her into the mattress, all force and no finesse, but that was fine. He was able to last longer this time, and she got what she wanted. He slammed into her one last time, then pulsed as he filled her up. His cock was the thickest she'd ever had, and when he came, she writhed around him, gasping; in that moment he felt larger, harder, just as she'd described to him before, and the sensation was right at the borderline of what she could take before it became pain. She shuddered as he slowly pulled out of her, bringing a little of his cum with him.

  
She stayed stock still as it began to leak out her, still coming back down to earth. When she finally opened her eyes, he was sitting at the end of the bed, cleaning himself off.

  
She made grabby hands at him until her brain functioned well enough to string words together. "Come - come here." He crawled towards her, nothing but confusion on his face, until he got within range and she was able to pull him back down on top of her.

  
"What are you - ugh, you're all goopy - "

  
_"Come here."_ She folded her arms and legs around him so he couldn't get away, holding him tight. She really just wanted to draw out the experience. To be close for a little longer, as if making him lay on top of her could bring back all of the other sensations as well. He finally relaxed against her, warm and heavy, and hung his head back over her shoulder.

  
He sounded amused. "That what you wanted?"

  
She squeezed her muscles and felt a little more cum leak out, laughing out of nothing more than simple satisfaction. _"Yes,"_ she breathed in his ear.

  
He kissed her jaw, the only part he could reach. "Did I make you come then? This time?"

  
"No. I usually don't. It still feels... " She sighed into his shoulder and let him go.

  
He sat up, then settled in next to her again and pulled up the photo she'd taken as she reluctantly cleaned herself up.

  
"Is this really what you wanted a pic of?"

  
It had come out even better than she'd imagined. She'd taken the photo after Ryuji had entered her, but had then maneuvered him until his back was arched away, making him pull out again most of the way. A little of his length was visible in the photo, although that hadn't been her real target. The way she'd posed him, his stomach muscles were held taut and his chest was in view at the very edge of the shot; all his muscles stood out in stark contrast to her smooth, flat belly below him.

  
"Yessss... Now you get to see what I see."

  
"You can't even see my dick that well, though."

  
"Maybe that wasn't my target anyway." She reached out and played her fingers over his chest. "I guess this one could just be for me, if you don't want to share it." She felt a little more of his cum trickle out of her and had to get up again; as much as she enjoyed the sensation, she preferred not to be lying in a puddle. "Gimme a minute."

  
When she got back from the washroom, he was typing on his phone.

  
MISHIMA: Holy shit.  
MISHIMA: You're ripped! When did that happen?  
RYUJI: lotta time at the gym, that's all.  
RYUJI: you like it?  
MISHIMA: Uh, yes.  
AKIRA: Heh. I thought we were just gonna see Ann today.  
RYUJI: just delete it then, man.  
AKIRA: I wasn't complaining.  
ANN: muehehe  
ANN: I get to see this allll night  
RYUJI: god, you ARE a jizz monster.  
RYUJI: when do i get to be DONE?

  
She smiled. "You're done. I'm kinda sore, actually."

  
"Aw. You okay?"

  
"Yeah. It's not bad."

  
RYUJI: she says the city is safe. for now.  
RYUJI: which is good. because i'm fuckin starving.  
MISHIMA: Enjoy your instant ramen, lol.  
RYUJI: aw what?  
AKIRA: MY visitors get homemade curry.  
MISHIMA: And lattes with latte art.  
AKIRA: Stay the night with Ann and you get cup noodles.  
ANN: what's wrong with that?  >:c  
MISHIMA: Akira practically force feeds me.  
AKIRA: Gotta keep your strength up.

  
He sent a winking cat emoji.

  
RYUJI: guess i'll ttyl. i need to set ann straight about a few things lol.

  
"What's wrong with instant ramen? You like ramen."

  
"How do you _live_ like this - "

  
In the end, he revealed that he'd brought some cash; apparently he'd thought there was a chance she'd change her mind, so his plan B had been to take her to the movies. She sent him some of her modelling funds with her banking app, to keep things fair, and they ordered takeout.

\----------

  
Ann drifted up out of a deep sleep, her mind blank. Eventually she realized that she was too warm and rolled onto her back, shoving the covers down to her waist to try to cool down. Her elbow bumped into something, and she heard a muffled groan next to her.

  
"Sorry, Ryuji," she mumbled. She was about to go back to sleep when she felt him hook his arm around her waist.

  
"You're soft," he mumbled back. He sounded even more asleep than she was, even if he was palming her breast.

  
_Maybe pajamas would have been a good idea._

  
She escaped his grasp and snagged her phone from the nightstand, then put it into flashlight mode and pointed it at the ceiling. When she rolled back toward him, his hand returned, though his eyes were still closed.

  
"Are you awake or sleeping?" she teased.

  
"Mmmugh." He ran his thumb across her nipple, back and forth.

  
"Mm. I'd like to. But I'm still pretty sore."

  
He took back his hand and opened his eyes, squinting up at her in the low light. "Sorry, Ann."

  
"My own fault. I got impatient."

  
He sounded a little more awake. "Did that happen before? Like... is it bad, this time?"

  
She rolled right on top of him until he started to laugh at her, trapped underneath. "Yeah. I mean, no, it's not bad. Just. I can't have any more," she murmured in his ear. "You're, um. You're thick enough that I gotta prepare better than we did." She settled a little more of her weight on top of him and felt something press into her belly.

  
He turned his face away. "Sorry."

  
"S'okay." She kissed his neck. "Maybe something for you?" She was still half asleep, but it seemed only fair, since he'd gone out of his way to keep her happy as best he could. And they'd rushed ahead so quickly that they'd skipped over some of the things she used to do for Akira, too. It was hard to believe that one week ago she'd been sitting on Ryuji's couch, kissing him for the first time.

  
"You don't have to." But the crooked grin he was giving her told her how he really felt.

  
She flipped back the covers the rest of the way and crawled to the foot of the bed, then settled between his legs and smiled up at him.

  
The crooked grin was gone. He only looked happy.

  
She stroked him gently. "Um. I guess it's been a while since I did this. Tell me what you like, okay?"

  
"Heh. That's already pretty good."

  
It had never really been her favourite activity. It wasn't unpleasant, exactly, but Akira had always made her jaw ache by the time he was done, and since Ryuji was thicker, she had to stretch her mouth open even wider to avoid catching him with her teeth. But, after the afternoon he'd given her, she figured she could take one for the team.

  
It _was_ fun to watch his face, though.

  
He kept fussing with his hands, too. He balled his fists in the sheets, then let them go, then raised one hand to cover his mouth - was he self-conscious about the noises he was making? He let out little huffs and choked gasps, as though it were the best thing he'd ever felt - but surely being inside of her should have felt better? Either way, she started to feel smug. Watching him melt just because she was moving her mouth a little could go to a girl's head.

  
She'd picked up the pace when she saw the lighting from her phone shift, throwing crazy shadows across her room until it came to a stop in his hand. He had it pointed right at her.

  
"Mmmh - " She pulled off of him with a pop. "Hey, no photos. Not right now."

  
"No? You were fine with 'em before, so I thought - "

  
"I don't mind _photos,_ but - " She kept her fingers wrapped around him and used her other hand to indicate her hair, snarled around her head like a bird's nest. Or maybe a tornado. She hadn't bothered to run a comb through it even once since they'd had a shower together, and the handful of times she'd walked past the bathroom mirror since then, she'd done her best to avoid looking at herself too closely. If she didn't get a good look, then she wouldn't have to know how bad it was.

  
"You're such a _model."_ It was hard to see his face, but she thought he was grinning. His voice certainly sounded like he was. "You think I care about your hair? You should see your _makeup_. You got two black eyes right now."

  
She put his cock back in her mouth just so she could growl around it, then pulled off of him again to bare her teeth at him. "You better be nice to me right now, or - " She snapped her teeth together with a click and laughed.

  
"Scary." He'd started to laugh too. "Okay, fine, no photos. For dick safety reasons." But he kept the light pointed right at her.

  
It was distracting. "You should get some photos of me when I look _nice,_ doing this. If you look now you just get... " She waved her hand at her tangled hair and smeared makeup again.

  
He was wearing a smile she didn't see too often. He actually looked kind of sweet. "Maybe I like seein' you this way."

  
"When your cock's in my mouth?" She gave it a long lick and gave him her best bedroom eyes.

  
He bumped his knee against her thigh. "You know what I mean." He adjusted the angle of the light. "Your - your hair or whatever. Maybe I like seeing you how nobody else gets to. Nobody at school, I mean. Like... the way you look at school, that's for everybody else. But this is just for me."

  
He could be nice, sometimes. "Aw."

  
"So if you won't let me do photos, I'll just have to - " He set the phone down and she squinted, trying to see what he was doing with his hands in the low light. She buried her face into his thigh and giggled when she realized the gesture he'd made.

  
"Don't give me Yusuke hands either!"

  
He left his thumbs and index fingers in the shape of a rectangle, peering at her through them. When she looked up at him again he made sound effects. "Kchk, kchk - "

  
"Ryuji, he's not pretending to be a _camera_ when he does that - I don't think - "

  
"These aren't for Yusuke. These are for me." He took two more 'pictures', then tapped his temple.

  
"You're such a goob." He had her giggling again. She took him back into her mouth before she was really done laughing and hummed around him instead.

  
But he only let her go back to it for thirty seconds or so before he stopped her. "Uh. Heh. Maybe I'm too sore, too."

  
"Rain check?" She crawled back up to his side and kissed him.

  
"Don't kiss me with dick lips - " But as soon as he'd said it, he kissed her back anyway.

  
She rolled away from him, onto her side. But maybe he wasn't sleepy anymore. His arm, warm and heavy, caught her around the middle and pulled her tightly against him. He was still hard, but when he tried to angle his hips away, she chased him with hers and pressed her ass against him. He sighed and relaxed behind her.

  
"This okay?" he asked.

  
"After everything we just did today? You have to ask if - if hugging me is okay?"

  
"W-well, how should I know if - "

  
She grabbed his arm and pulled him closer. "This is okay. Everything... everything you did today is okay."

  
He sighed again and pressed his face into the back of her neck. She'd almost drifted off again when he spoke up again. "You think this changes things?"

  
"Like what?"

  
"You n' me."

  
"Nope. Still friends." She wriggled her hips against him a little, as if to make her point.

  
"Kay, but. This?" He pulled his arm tighter against her for a second, then relaxed again. "This ain't boyfriend territory? Girlfriend territory?"

  
She had a sneaking suspicion of where he was going with this. She rolled over suddenly and kissed him quickly. "Ryuji. It's not like porn."

  
"I mean. _Some_ of it was." She could hear that crooked grin in his voice; she didn't have to see his face to know it was there.

  
"No, I mean. Like. I've only seen a little. But they all just... in porn, don't they all just walk into the room, do their thing, then leave?"

  
"Or they're all already there - "

  
"Okay, but. It doesn't have to be like that. I don't _want_ it to be like that."

  
He fell silent for a moment, just breathing in the dark in front of her as he thought about it. "I guess that would be kinda... it'd feel mean, or whatever. Shitty. If I fucked you hard and then just... left you there."

  
"Yeah. That's what I'm saying." She sighed happily. "You wanna know what my favourite part of our team meetup was? Akira and Mishima and me?"

  
"No, but I bet I can guess, jizz monster - "

  
_"No._ That wasn't it." She smiled, even if he couldn't see it. "Akira made this big pile of blankets on the floor and we just... we just laid there like this. Him in the middle, and me and Mishima on either side. No clothes, either."

  
"Sounds pretty tame, if you ask me."

  
"Well _yeah,_ but... I dunno. Maybe it's a girl thing. Or a me thing. I just really liked being, like. Naked and comfortable. Everybody there had already seen me naked. We'd already all done stuff with each other. Usually I have to worry about my hair or my makeup or, or what my _face_ is doing. My expression. When I've got a skirt on I have to worry about how I'm sitting. How much I'm showing. But they've seen all of me, and I've seen all of them. We could just... Heh. Mishima calls it snuggling."

  
He snorted. "He _would."_

  
She slapped his chest. "Don't you be mean to my Mishima."

  
"I'm not, I'm not!" He pulled her closer and hooked his arm around her waist. "Sounds like you two are still pretty close. You seemed close, in the chat, I mean. Kinda surprised me."

  
"We never really... like, it's not like we stopped because we had a fight, or something. I just wanted to be good to him. So I gave him some space."

  
"Yeah, but... you just talk to him like that right in front of Akira? His boyfriend? Shit like 'come fuck me, bb, oh but Akira can't come'?"

  
_"That's not what I said - "_

  
He laughed with her. "Close enough."

  
"Akira knows I'm joking. I'd let him come too."

  
"Yeah, I _bet_ you would."

  
She grinned in the dark and leaned forward to kiss whatever was in front of her; it might have been his shoulder. "You _love_ this, don't you."

  
"I mean. I can't even bug you about it now, because it's all _true._ You just come right out and admit it. You're - you're fuckin' _proud_ of it, even."

  
"Wouldn't _you_ be? If you had - I dunno, if you had Makoto, Haru and me taking up your weekends?"

  
There was a pregnant silence. She burst into laughter. "What have I done - "

  
"Oh man, you can't just _say_ shit like that - " He pulled her close again. "But, uh. I guess I'll ask. You guys gonna start up again? You had me over this weekend, but next weekend... ?"

  
"Yeah. We've only talked about it a little, but. Might be time to have Mishima pay me a visit again."

  
"Akira?"

  
She hummed against his chest, thinking. "Mm. He's different. We get on really well, but... Mishima's the one I think about more. I want to see how he's doing."

  
"Worried about him?"

  
"Kind of. Or, I was. He looks a ton better, lately. But it's not just that. He's just... I miss him more, I guess."

  
He sighed above her head. "Guess you need your variety, huh."

  
She'd been wondering if things might turn this way with him. "If you... if you start to get jealous, this isn't gonna work, Ryuji."

  
"I'm not, I'm not."

  
"If you are - if you do get jealous - you're gonna have to find a girl who wants to be exclusive with you. I don't want that, right now."

  
"I get it, okay? Chill." He rolled away from her, flat onto his back.

  
Maybe it wasn't really a jealousy thing, exactly. "There'll be another time, Ryuji," she said softly. She found his hand in the dark.

  
They lay like that in silence for a few moments until he squeezed her fingers. He rolled onto his side again, and she socked her hips back up against him, as close as she could get. He fell asleep with his arm hooked around her middle, his breath warming the back of her neck through her crazy hair.


	27. Don't be a narc. "Mishima, I'm sorry." Selfish.

Ryuji slouched against the tiled wall of Shibuya station on Monday morning, yawning. He had his head down, scrolling through old chat messages, when he felt something creep into his free hand.

  
_"Fuck_ \- I just about took you out - " He jammed his phone into his pocket, trying to get his heart to stop galloping in his chest.

  
Ann stuck out her tongue and returned her hand to his. "Pretty jumpy for seven AM."

  
"Seriously, say somethin' first next time if you're gonna - " He looked down, their linked hands finally registering. "What, your hands're cold?"

  
She rolled her eyes and stood closer, leaning against his shoulder until their train arrived.

  
\----------

  
RYUJI: you sure were all over me today.  
ANN: ugh. I'll keep my hands to myself then  
ANN: IF I MUST lol  
ANN: sorry. guess I'm just grabby  
RYUJI: maybe i'm just not used to it.  
RYUJI: kissin me in the hallway though? thought you didn't like to start rumours.  
ANN: I care less than I used to  
ANN: I mean, I'd rather they gossip about me sleeping with you than a teacher  
RYUJI: at least it would be true, right?  
ANN: lol yeah  
RYUJI: i sorta thought you'd wanna pretend like it didn't happen. last weekend.  
ANN: you seriously think I'm like that?  
ANN: I'm not gonna spend time with you on the weekend and then be some cold bitch to you at school  
RYUJI: some girls would.  
ANN: well that would be shitty. so I won't do that to you  
ANN: anyway  
ANN: how'd you like your weekend bb  
RYUJI: it was okay.

  
Ann laughed to herself, splayed out on top of her bed after school.

  
ANN: uh huh  
ANN: sorry it wasn't to your liking  
ANN: I'd better try harder next time ;_;  
RYUJI: lol. cut the shit ann.  
RYUJI: you know i liked it. you just wanna hear me say it.  
ANN: basically, yeah  
RYUJI: i guess it still feels kinda weird to just... talk about it.  
ANN: psht. you had no problem in the chat with all four of us before  
RYUJI: well duh. that's like  
RYUJI: joking. kind of.  
RYUJI: that's easy.  
ANN: we did go kind of fast. you and me  
RYUJI: i'll get used to it. same with holdin hands or whatever.  
RYUJI: do you do that with akira and mishima?  
ANN: in public? Akira, yeah. he likes it  
ANN: or we used to. less so lately. bc of the thing with Mishima  
ANN: and then Mishima's too shy so I gotta try to restrain myself with him lol  
ANN: oh, not in front of the PTs tho. I'd rather we didn't, I mean  
ANN: like, Akira and me weren't really trying to hide it when we were still doing stuff, but we kept it out of the meetings, and Mementos  
RYUJI: what's the difference?  
RYUJI: everybody but yusuke could've seen us at school. if we're just kissin in the hallway or whatever.  
ANN: it might be distracting? it wouldn't be professional  
RYUJI: lol. cuz we're all soooo professional.  
ANN: I dunno. it just seems out of place, I guess. in front of the others, I mean  
RYUJI: that's fine though. morgana would have a little kitty heart attack if he saw me all cozied up to you anyway.  
ANN: snerk  
ANN: yeah p much

  
Their chat fell off, and she began to think about making herself something to eat before starting on her homework. But then she started getting new chat notifications.

  
MISHIMA: ANNNN  
AKIRA: Hi Ann.  
ANN: whoa  
ANN: lol  
AKIRA: We saw you in the hallwaaaaay.

  
Akira sent her a kissy face emoji.

  
She gave Ryuji a head's up and then added him to their chat. After the direction their last group chat had gone, it seemed silly to keep asking them if it was okay each time.

  
RYUJI: hey guys.  
AKIRA: Hey.  
ANN: apparently we're not allowed to kiss in the hallway at school, Ryuji  
MISHIMA: I mean. Technically you're not, no.  
RYUJI: aw, don't be a narc, man.  
MISHIMA: I'll keep it to myself on one condition.  
MISHIMA: Ann, are you free on Saturday?  
RYUJI: well ain't you smooth as shit lol.  
MISHIMA: Ew?  
AKIRA: Yeah, uh. That one's not your best choice of words ever.  
RYUJI: oh, lay off.  
ANN: are you offering to make a house call, Mishima?  
MISHIMA: Yup.  
MISHIMA: Gotta keep you happy for the sake of the public.

  
There was a little pause in their chat, just long enough for Ann to start to wonder how Ryuji might take the news. She held off from answering.

  
RYUJI: i did my best you guys...  
RYUJI: maybe i need an extra week to recharge my supply anyway.

  
She let out the breath she'd been holding.

  
AKIRA: The city commends you for your hard work protecting its citizens.  
ANN: you guys make me sound like fucking Godzilla or smth lmao  
RYUJI: yup. or a featherman monster.  
MISHIMA: Jizz monster for sure.  
ANN: rrrrrghgh thaT'S YOOOOOU THO  
MISHIMA: Hey, you didn't answer me yet.  
ANN: YES you can come over on the weekend, geeze  
ANN: I'm gonna wrap my whole house in saran wrap lol  
AKIRA: You're a genius.  
AKIRA: We've already had to make another late night laundromat trip...  
MISHIMA: -_-

  
There was another little pause, so Ann decided to bring up the elephant in the room.

  
ANN: hey Ryuji. is this still okay with you?  
ANN: you can say so if it's not  
RYUJI: the... switching off?  
RYUJI: taking turns?  
ANN: yeah  
RYUJI: it's fine.  
MISHIMA: We can still talk about it.  
MISHIMA: Like, we pretend it's a competition or something but it's not really like that.  
MISHIMA: I care how you feel about it.  
RYUJI: awwwww  <3  
RYUJI: lol.  
RYUJI: nah, i'm okay. ann and me said we're not dating. so we're not.  
RYUJI: we're cool man.  
RYUJI: besides. i don't think i have a drop left.  
ANN: x_x  
MISHIMA: Lmao  
ANN: that's good tho. I was a bit worried  
ANN: it's probably normal to feel jealous  
AKIRA: Yeah, I guess we're being weird. This whole arrangement, I mean.  
AKIRA: I haven't really heard of people doing... this.  
MISHIMA: Isn't it nice though? Overall?  
ANN: yessss  
ANN: actually. I've been thinking about this lately. I wonder if I really needed to leave for a bit after all  
RYUJI: you told me you didn't want to lead mishima on.  
RYUJI: sorry. maybe i should give you guys some privacy.

  
A fresh little pang of guilt seized her. The day that she had vented to Ryuji about her relationship woes with Mishima had been the same day that he'd guessed at least some of what Kamoshida had really done to him. She still didn't feel at ease about having told him, even weeks later, and even though he'd only guessed it from reading between the lines.

  
MISHIMA: You can if you want. But maybe you're involved with all of this now, too. Kind of.  
AKIRA: Yeah, if you're in, you're in, as far as I'm concerned.

  
But this was different. She knew Mishima didn't mind Ryuji knowing how things had gone between the two of them, at least.

  
ANN: I think that's how it should be too, Ryuji. if it's not too boring for you  
RYUJI: nah.  
ANN: anyway. yeah, I didn't want to make it harder for Mishima than it had to be. so maybe I still did need to leave for that reason  
ANN: but. Mishima. I also kept thinking I'd mess things up for you and Akira. like it'd be cheating if you guys were in love and I was still around  
AKIRA: I don't think it's like that.  
MISHIMA: I've never dated before but I thought cheating was also about  
MISHIMA: Like. Lying.  
MISHIMA: Hiding stuff. And we never did that.  
ANN: I think I get it better now. or at least, I feel better about it. and, like  
ANN: before, I kept thinking the same thing Akira just said. that we're being weird. that it's something normal people don't do  
ANN: but now I'm like... who cares??? I mean. I was just talking to Ryuji about PDAs at school. I don't care about gossip anymore.  
ANN: I'll kiss who I fucking want to >:c lol  
ANN: and I'll sleep with who I want to, too  
ANN: and. I really miss you  
MISHIMA: Me too. :)  
MISHIMA: I hope I still remember how. >_>  
RYUJI: fuck, dude.  
RYUJI: if i managed to figure it out you'll definitely remember. lol  
AKIRA: Hey, yeah. Gonna tell us how it went?  
ANN: you guys can. I sorta, um  
ANN: well, you guys would say that the city is safe again lol  
ANN: I just mean that the dirty talk is less fun if I just did a bunch of stuff the other day? I guess?  
MISHIMA: That answers Akira's question anyway. Sakamoto must've done a good job.  
MISHIMA: If the King of Thirst is satisfied.

  
He sent two water droplet emojis, then a trophy.

  
RYUJI: i'm over here flexin lol.  
RYUJI: well, if ann doesn't want to then we'll do a big rundown another time.  
RYUJI: more fun if she's around.  
ANN: aw  
ANN: Kawakami gave us so much to do tonight, anyway. ugggggh

  
Akira sent a thumbs down emoji.

  
AKIRA: You had to say it, didn't you.

  
They said their goodbyes, and Ann started on her homework.

  
\----------

  
After the bell rang at the end of class two days later, Mishima was already gone by the time Ann glanced up from putting her books into her bag.

  
She twisted sideways in her seat. "Where'd he go so fast?"

  
Akira leaned forward so he could keep his voice down around the other students. "Ramen with Ryuji."

  
She gave him a sunny grin and widened her eyes until he laughed. She leaned close too. "You think they're gonna... "

  
He lifted one shoulder in the laziest of shrugs. "There's interest. I think. Mishima gets all red when I bring it up, at least."

  
She was whispering now. "I sometimes wonder if Mr. Het is telling us the whole truth, too."

  
Another lazy shrug. "We'll see." But he was smirking.

  
\----------

  
MISHIMA: I'm still so fullll.  
MISHIMA: I made him eat like half of mine, too.  
ANN: how come everybody gets taken out for ramen and I don't >:c  
MISHIMA: He did say that he's taken Akira there too...  
MISHIMA: It's not like it was a date! I paid for mine.  
ANN: still. where's MY ramen  
MISHIMA: We can go. :)  
MISHIMA: Maybe not right away though.  
MISHIMA: Akira keeps shoving curry at me too, so.  
MISHIMA: I think my ass has gotten bigger. >_>  
ANN: aaaaaa lol  
ANN: it happens  
ANN: he must like feeding people  
ANN: I think my boobs were bigger when I was spending time with him too  
MISHIMA: I haven't seen those in a while...  
MISHIMA: Nvm. I'm too full lol.

  
She bit her lip. She could put it off all she wanted, but there was never going to be a good time to say it. It was better to get it over with.

  
She owed it to him.

  
ANN: um. can I talk to you?  
ANN: call you, I mean  
MISHIMA: Sure?

  
She picked out his number from her contacts and dialled him.

  
"Hi!"

  
"Hey... Have we _ever_ talked on the phone?"

  
"Don't think so." He sounded relaxed. Happy to hear her voice. She almost chickened out.

  
"Mishima, I, um. I guess I have something I need to tell you."

  
"Go for it."

  
"It's about... it's about what happened to you, back in April."

  
His voice went several degrees colder. "Oh."

  
Her heart was thudding hard. "I. I had to tell Ryuji." As soon as it was out of her mouth, she regretted her choice of words. It was a lie. She didn't _have_ to tell him at all.

  
He wasn't expecting it. "Y-you what?"

  
"I didn't give him any specifics - "

  
His voice rolled right over hers. "Why would you _do_ that? You just - why?"

  
"I - I was talking about you and me, and - I didn't even really tell him, he - " She realized she'd been pacing and sat down on her bed, only to start up again a moment later.

  
He suddenly sounded a lot calmer, for some reason. Hopeful, maybe. "Was this just now? You told him just before calling me?"

  
"No. This was when we were... when I backed off a bit. A few weeks ago. Right before exams."

  
His voice was shaking. "That... fuck, Ann. You... who _else_ did you tell? You ran right over to tell Akira, too, the minute I told you. Who else did you tell?"

  
"No one," she said quickly. "Mishima, I'm sorry."

  
"But _why."_ His voice went quiet again. "I told you because I trusted you."

  
"Mishima, it came up and he _guessed._ I didn't just go and tell him out of nowhere - "

  
"That's _worse!_ How could you think that's better?! That's so much _worse."_ His voice was thick with tears.

  
He always managed to set her off. She watched her own tears fall onto the back of her hand in her lap. " ...I'm sorry, honey."

  
_"Don't."_ The word felt like a door slamming shut in her face.

  
There was a long pause, filled with only their breathing. She heard some kind of muffled noise on his end, some kind of scuffling. "I have to go." Then he hung up on her.

  
She sent him a chat message, but he didn't answer.

  
\----------

  
Mishima sat at his desk before the warning bell the next day, his head bowed low, as he tapped into his phone. Ann sent him a few messages without success.

  
ANN: is he answering you?  
AKIRA: I'm staying out of this.

  
That seemed to be all he would say on the subject, so she put her phone away and took out her textbook, not really seeing any of the words on the page. A few minutes later, her phone buzzed.

  
MISHIMA: I'll talk to you at lunch.  
MISHIMA: Give me some space until then.  
ANN: okay. I will

  
The bell rang, so she attempted to pay attention until noon.

  
\----------

  
Mishima was up and out of his desk the second the bell for lunch rang, his footsteps heavy as he left the classroom. She felt Akira's hand on her shoulder and leaned into it until he took it back.

  
AKIRA: You guys will make up. Don't worry.  
AKIRA: We've had lots of fights, and we made up each time.  
ANN: this is different. him and me aren't together like you two are  
ANN: do you know where he went?  
AKIRA: He's pretty upset. I think he wants to just chat with you. Not talk face to face, I mean.

  
She tried to be patient as she waited for him to message her.

  
MISHIMA: So my parents heard me talking to you last night.  
ANN: I'm sorry  
ANN: what did they say?  
MISHIMA: They usually don't care what I do. But I guess they usually don't see me upset at home, either.  
MISHIMA: They wouldn't let up. I had to tell them I was talking to my girlfriend. That we were fighting.  
MISHIMA: I know that you're not. But it's the only thing I could say that would make sense.  
ANN: wow. um  
ANN: I don't know what to say to that  
ANN: I'm sorry I got you in trouble with them  
MISHIMA: I'm not, though.  
MISHIMA: In trouble, I mean. They want to meet you.  
ANN: do you want that?  
MISHIMA: No.  
MISHIMA: I don't know.  
MISHIMA: I still... like, how could you just do that.  
MISHIMA: Why would you tell Sakamoto that about me? You said it "came up". How would it come up at all?  
MISHIMA: Why were you guys even talking about me?  
ANN: well. like, don't think I'm defending it. I'm not. that's why I told you. that's why I wanted to say I'm sorry  
ANN: but. after I had to tell you that I didn't love you back, I had to leave. and then I had no one  
ANN: I kept worrying about you  
MISHIMA: No one MADE you leave. You didn't HAVE to leave.  
MISHIMA: Don't say it like that. It was never like that.  
MISHIMA: And I kept asking you. I wanted to just hang out. Do the movies or whatever. Coffee.  
MISHIMA: You took yourself out. No one kicked you out.  
ANN: I know  
ANN: I just meant that I felt that way. alone. even if it was my choice, that's how I felt  
ANN: and then Ryuji started to talk to me, and he asked what was bothering me. he knew I was upset  
ANN: so I told him about the arrangement we had  
MISHIMA: I don't care about that.  
MISHIMA: I would have told him too, if he'd asked. Well, probably.  
MISHIMA: But that's not the same as telling him about  
MISHIMA: What happened to me.  
MISHIMA: I don't get why you would do that.  
ANN: I mentioned... him. you know who I mean. and Ryuji brought up how you were all, you know. beat up, in April, when Akira transferred  
ANN: and Ryuji said he was glad you had Akira to help you through stuff, just like how he'd helped me and him, too  
ANN: and  
ANN: fuck. I think my face gave it away. he guessed that there was more  
ANN: I didn't tell him he was right  
ANN: but I didn't want to lie to him, either  
ANN: so I didn't tell him he was wrong  
MISHIMA: So he knew? All this time?  
ANN: yes  
MISHIMA: I wish you hadn't.  
MISHIMA: Don't you think that's for me to do? If I ever, EVER wanted him to know? Don't you think that's my fucking right? Not yours?  
ANN: I'm really sorry  
ANN: but you had to know I did that. I couldn't just have you over to my house or whatever and pretend like I'd never done it  
MISHIMA: I get that part. I don't want you to hide stuff from me instead.  
MISHIMA: Gimme a minute.

  
She sat slumped in her desk for a minute or two, staring at her phone's screen and feeling sick with guilt. Eventually, she couldn't stand it any longer.

  
ANN: where are you?  
MISHIMA: I'm in a bathroom stall. I don't need anybody seeing me like this.  
ANN: Ryuji doesn't think less of you, okay? he was sympathetic. he was sorry that happened to you  
MISHIMA: Okay, but that's worse too.  
MISHIMA: He guessed that it happened? Maybe it wasn't your face that told him. Maybe he could tell from me.  
MISHIMA: From the way I look, or act, or something.  
MISHIMA: Like, who else can just "guess?"  
MISHIMA: I'm so sick of this.  
ANN: I'm sorry  
MISHIMA: Yeah, I know you are.  
MISHIMA: But, like. I don't want to hear that he feels sorry for me, either.  
MISHIMA: We just started hanging out again. We went for ramen yesterday.  
MISHIMA: Is that just because of what you told him? He just wants to hang out with me now out of... what, pity?

  
It was getting to be too much. She rose from her desk, painfully aware of the other students eating their lunches in the classroom all around her, and speedwalked to the girl's bathroom. She locked herself in a stall and picked up her phone again, her vision blurry with unshed tears.

  
ANN: he's not like that. he doesn't feel sorry for you  
ANN: remember when Akira sent that photo of your face to Ryuji and me? when he was at my place last weekend? Ryuji said he likes seeing you happy. that's all it is  
ANN: he just wants to be your friend, Mishima  
MISHIMA: After two years of nothing? We've barely talked since high school started.  
MISHIMA: Oh, but now that you've told him all this shit about me, we've been chatting every night. And he wants to start hanging out again.  
MISHIMA: What am I supposed to think?  
ANN: but it wasn't after I told him. after he guessed, I mean. him and me talked about it that day before exams. when the four of us studied in Leblanc  
ANN: Ryuji started chatting with you and Akira after I got that bruised tailbone. remember? that was weeks and weeks later. that's when you and Akira started teasing him about me, and he told me that's when you all got a lot closer  
ANN: right?  
MISHIMA: Oh.  
MISHIMA: I guess so.  
MISHIMA: I just...  
MISHIMA: I liked hanging out with him yesterday. It was fun. We sorta drifted apart for the last two years, but it was like how it used to be.  
MISHIMA: And then I heard you say that, that he'd known what happened to me the whole time, and it felt. I dunno.  
MISHIMA: Ruined.  
MISHIMA: Like it's not a nice memory anymore.  
ANN: I'm sorry  
MISHIMA: I heard you. You don't have to keep saying it.

  
There was a pause in their chat. She blew her nose as she waited for him to continue.

  
MISHIMA: Ugh. This isn't all on you.  
MISHIMA: Me freaking out, I mean.  
ANN: ?  
MISHIMA: Some of this is just... me. This happens every time me and Akira have to talk about it, too.  
MISHIMA: What happened.  
ANN: I still shouldn't have done it. it's not you  
ANN: last night you asked me why and I said I HAD to tell Ryuji  
ANN: that's not it. nobody HAD to tell Ryuji. I was lying when I said that  
ANN: or, lying to myself, I guess  
ANN: when I told him, that was me being selfish  
MISHIMA: What?  
ANN: I felt sad. and I felt like I couldn't talk to you or Akira anymore  
ANN: Ryuji was there, and he asked, so I told him what I was sad about to make myself feel better  
ANN: I don't have any better reason than that  
ANN: I've been telling myself it was okay all this time because I didn't tell him any details of what happened  
ANN: but that's not the point. he still knows enough  
ANN: and I really don't think it made him act any differently toward you. but  
ANN: he still knows  
ANN: I wish I hadn't, Mishima. that's why I told you now  
MISHIMA: You were just...  
MISHIMA: You just needed someone to talk to about it?  
ANN: yeah. but I still shouldn't have. I get it  
ANN: like, now that I'm talking to you guys again, I get that I should've just talked to you. or even talking to Akira would've been better than telling someone who didn't already know  
ANN: I fucked up  
MISHIMA: Maybe.  
MISHIMA: Hey, I just came back. Where are you now?  
ANN: oh, we switched places, I guess  
ANN: I don't really want anyone seeing me like this, either  
MISHIMA: I'm okay now. Come out when you can.

  
She dried her eyes and blew her nose again, then fixed her makeup as best she could in the mirror. By the time she came out, he was waiting for her by the window in the hallway. His eyes were a little red, but he did look better than she'd expected.

  
"Hey."

  
"Hi." His voice was full of gravel.

  
"Mishima, I'm sorry - "

  
"I've had enough of those for now." But then his expression softened. Not quite a smile, but a step towards one. "I guess I get why you did it. I don't _like_ that you did it. But I get it."

  
"It won't happen again." She searched his face, trying to see where they stood.

  
"That's, um. That's good enough, then." He took her hand without looking at her. "I forgive you." The words were stiff, but when she looked over, he looked more at peace.

  
She squeezed his fingers. He'd never been comfortable with little signs of affection like this before, not out in public and especially not at school, so she was surprised to see him reach out for her hand so casually. Not to mention the fact that they hadn't so much as held hands for weeks and weeks, not since the night he'd told her everything.

  
She jumped as the warning bell rang overhead. She leaned close to say in a low voice, "Fighting at school suuuucks - "

  
He gave a single sharp laugh, as if he weren't expecting it himself. He peered up and down the hallway, then leaned close and gave her the quickest kiss on the cheek possible - more of a jab, really. He let go of her hand, and they walked back to class together.


	28. "Ain't here for coffee." Just chat stuff. Spacey.

RYUJI: so fuckin boredddd.  
AKIRA: Uh.  
AKIRA: Hello to you too?

  
Akira sent him an emoji of a cat sticking its tongue out.

  
RYUJI: what, too busy to chat with me?  
RYUJI: playin shogi again or somethin?  
AKIRA: Nope. At home.  
AKIRA: Also fucking bored.  
RYUJI: no way.  
RYUJI: on a saturday night?  
RYUJI: somebody cancel on you? usually you got girls fightin over who gets to take you out every night.  
AKIRA: Not just girls.  
RYUJI: okay, fine, "older women" too.  
RYUJI: you don't gotta rub it in, man.  
AKIRA: Also guys.  
AKIRA: Men, even.  
RYUJI: oh come off it lol  
AKIRA: Nah, I got used to keeping my weekend open. I kind of forgot Mishima would be on an away mission tonight.  
AKIRA: Since it's his turn to keep Ann topped up.  
RYUJI: ugh. should be ME.  
AKIRA: Come on. Don't be like that.  
RYUJI: nah, i'm jokin. i know how it is.  
RYUJI: well. maybe just half jokin.  
RYUJI: i could get used to gettin laid like clockwork every weekend without even trying.  
AKIRA: I DID get used to it.  
RYUJI: yeah, you'd usually be balls deep right now, huh? lol  
AKIRA: You just go right out and say it, don't you?  
RYUJI: you're not denying it!  
AKIRA: What, you want me to get into details?  
AKIRA: You really are bored.  
RYUJI: yup. entertain me.  
AKIRA: Actually. Idea.  
AKIRA: Have you ever tried whiskey?

\----------

  
When he grabbed his jacket and told his mom he was headed to Akira's, his hand was already on the doorknob. There was no way she was going to say no. The fact was that he hadn't had any friends over for, well, a pretty long fucking time, at least until the afternoon he and Ann had nearly been caught, and the same was true for staying the night at anyone else's place, aside from a handful of times at Akira's place months before. He and his mom were close enough that he'd felt genuinely guilty fibbing about where he'd been last weekend, although he'd used Akira as a cover story without a second thought - telling her that he was spending the night at 'cute little Takamaki-chan's' wasn't exactly an option, after all. His mom hadn't batted an eye then, and she didn't now, either. She just looked pointedly at the clock above the stove and warned him to be careful on the train.

  
She had a point. By the time Ryuji got to Leblanc, Sojiro was long gone. The cafe looked kind of creepy with all the lights off, actually. He pulled out his phone and had his head down, busy tapping out a message to Akira, when the door unlocked, then swung open right in front of his face.

  
_"Shit,_ man - "

  
"Shhh." Akira was already wearing the loose drawstring pants and t-shirt that he slept in; his clothing was dark, and his pale face and hands seemed to float, ghostlike. He waited until Ryuji was inside, then locked the door behind him.

  
"You just skulk around in the dark as a habit, or... ?"

  
"I kinda like skulking. I'm good at it." Akira picked up the coffee he'd been sipping in one of the booths, then brought it upstairs with him. "Want one? Coffee?"

  
"Ain't here for coffee." At least the lights were on in the attic. Ryuji sat down to wrench his sneakers off, then tossed them in the corner and sprawled on the couch. "How'd you get it? Iwai?"

  
"Good guess. Yeah." He dug the glass bottle out of the bottom of a cardboard box and sloshed it at him triumphantly.

  
It was only a little more than half full. "You're worse than Ann! You pick up a bad habit?"

  
Akira didn't bother answering. There were already two clean mugs set out on the same desk he used to craft infiltration tools. He poured out a couple of inches and handed it to him, then poured his own directly into the coffee he'd been drinking instead of the other mug. He caught Ryuji staring and grinned. "Tastes better this way, actually. Try some of what you've got - "

  
Of course he slammed it all back at once like an idiot. "Fuck, that's _foul - "_ he growled when he could speak again. Foul or not, the alcohol sent warm fingers down his chest, then his belly, reaching all the way down to his calves.

  
"Yeah, kinda. Try some of mine, now."

  
"I don't like that shit _either,_ though - "

  
"Try it." He was shoving his cup of coffee into Ryuji's face, so he took a much more cautious sip.

  
"I mean, it's _drinkable_ now, at least." He could still taste the whiskey, and the coffee was as bitter as he remembered, but it smoothed the whiskey out and sent it down his throat without making him cough halfway down. He took a bigger swallow. Now his muscles felt loose all over, like he'd just done some warmup stretches before a workout.

  
Akira looked proud for some reason, as though he counted any coffee consumption on Ryuji's part as a compliment - the fact that Ryuji only drank it to get the whiskey in him faster didn't seem to matter. "You keep that one, then. I'll be back in a sec." He practically skipped down the stairs and started to make himself another coffee in the dark, using only the ambient light from the attic to see.

  
_Somebody's easy to please._ Ryuji took another sip.

  
He'd only been on the train for ten minutes before he'd started to regret his decision to come over. Maybe things were going to be weird. He hadn't hung out with Akira since that shit with him and Ann in Mementos, and now he wasn't entirely certain of where they stood. They'd made up, more than once, actually, as if Akira needed to really drive home how sorry he was - but maybe that was just how he was after a fight. It wasn't as though they'd ever had one before. Of course, they'd chatted back and forth since then, but things had quickly gone from their previous style of conversation, light and easy, to something that went a lot further. Now that he knew Akira liked guys, it was hard to tell how much of what they and Mishima chatted about was just vulgar lines to make each other laugh, and how much of it was to...

  
_Maybe it turns him on, to talk like that with me and Mishima._

  
_Would that be so bad?_

  
It was fun. More of the chat was about Ann than it was about Akira and Mishima, anyway. And it wasn't as though Akira had been hitting on him after the fight they'd had on the top floor of Mementos. Yeah, Akira had been staring at him - flat out perving on him, trying to catch a glimpse of his dick before he could zip himself up, if he was being perfectly honest - but after they'd hashed things out that night, Akira hadn't pushed it, and he hadn't checked him out since, so far as Ryuji could tell. Right from the first day they'd met, Akira had been good to him, and one little fight wasn't enough for Ryuji to drop him.

  
And he really wasn't prejudiced. Maybe it was almost a compliment, if chatting with him wound up turning Akira on. If their chat had that effect, Ryuji didn't have to know about it, so things didn't have to turn weird again, either.

  
And... it wasn't something he'd been trying to think about, but as he waited for Akira to come back up the stairs, his mind circled back to it again. Chatting with Akira and Mishima - talking dirty with them, and teasing, and sharing any little detail about what he and Ann had gotten up to that popped into his head, felt... it felt close. It felt good. It felt a bit like the track team had, before he'd torn it all down around him. Not that being on the team had ever been like _that,_ exactly, but... Even when their chat wasn't about what they'd each done with Ann, he could laugh at Akira and Mishima's little innuendos directed at each other, or help them dogpile Ann until he knew she was a blushing mess at home or down the hall at school. He could sit in his classroom, outcast though he was, and even if he was all alone there, he could start up their private chat and in a minute or two he'd get an answer back.

  
It felt like he belonged.

  
The Phantom Thieves were good for that too. A place where he knew he was welcome. But this was more like an extension of that. Despite their differences, each of the Thieves had their awakening in common, not to mention their shared goal, and it wasn't as though they weren't all close. In a way. But Yusuke didn't hit him up to chat late into the night, and Haru and Makoto didn't know him the way Ann knew him.

  
The way Akira and Mishima were starting to get to know him.

  
_Shit. Whiskey sure heats you up._

  
Akira finally came back up the stairs, another coffee in hand, and dumped in a good amount of whiskey before perching on the corner of his bed across from Ryuji. "You okay?"

  
"Yeah, just... overheated, I guess." He drained the last of his coffee so he wouldn't have to talk. It hadn't been a lie, though. He unzipped his jacket and spread it over the back of the couch, trying to get back down to a normal temperature.

  
"Geeze, I gotta catch up to you." Akira sipped his doctored coffee, though it was still too hot to make real progress. "So? Feeling it yet?"

  
"Kinda makes my leg feel better. Isn't that weird? Feels good, I guess, but - " He cut himself off, glancing around the room. "Hey. Where's the cat?"

  
Akira smirked. "Told him you were on your way over and he suddenly remembered he had pressing business at Futaba's."

  
He laughed until it bounced back from the walls, louder than he'd intended. He covered his mouth but kept on laughing. "Whoops."

  
Akira set down his coffee to give it a chance to cool, then flopped back onto his bed. His long sleeved t-shirt pulled up a little, and he didn't bother to fix it. "Shoulda known you'd be a loud drunk."

  
"I ain't _drunk."_ His voice boomed again, and he realized that his tongue felt thick and clumsy in his mouth, turning his words mushy around the edges. "Well. Maybe a bit."

  
Now Akira laughed with him, still just staring up at the ceiling. "Good. I've got alllll this whiskey and no one to drink it with... "

  
"Oh, boohoo. Your phone's always goin' off."

  
"Think Kawakami would have a drink with me?"

  
"Shit, you said she gives you _massages_ in that get-up? You probly owe her a drink at _least - "_ The alcohol made it easier to laugh over nothing, he noticed, as if everything was automatically funnier.

"Besides. You got Mishima over here every weekend. Right?"

  
"Lately, yeah. He won't drink with me, though." Akira pouted at the ceiling. "Says he doesn't like how he acted the last time he had it."

  
"He's not exactly big. Bet he just had too much."

  
"Yeah, maybe." He wasn't telling him something, something having to do with Mishima, but Ryuji let it go. Akira finally sat up and reached out for his cooled coffee, all streamlined grace in one motion, and downed it in one go. He caught Ryuji looking at him and smirked. "Told you. I gotta catch up, you're ahead."

  
"Who cares? Ain't a race." Akira sprawled out on his bed again, feet still flat on the floor, and the fact that he was staring at the ceiling again gave Ryuji the little push he needed. "Sorry, but. I'm dyin'." He yanked his t-shirt over his head and draped it over his jacket on the back of the couch.

  
Of course Akira had noticed. He sat up just enough to lean back on his elbows; when he saw Ryuji, his face lit up. "Are you _sweating?_ It's _cold_ in here - "

  
"Don't fuckin' stare at me, man."

  
"Okay, okay - " He spread out his palms as if to ward him off and laid back down in a hurry, eyes on the ceiling. A thick silence descended.

  
_Don't be shitty._ "Sorry. Maybe you weren't. Staring."

  
He watched Akira's face and could see him change the subject as clearly as if he'd turned the page of a book. "Mishima's like that too. He gets too hot when he drinks."

  
"What about Ann? We never did beer at her house. I ain't seen her like that yet."

  
"No?" Akira raised his eyebrows, still very carefully looking at the ceiling and only the ceiling. "That means she thought you didn't need any help." He remembered his question. "She just gets all giggly." He grinned. "Extra thirsty."

  
"Shit, we did stuff like three or four times. If I had to deal with drunk Ann I don't think I woulda made it out alive." This time Akira laughed as loud as he did.

  
"See, that's why we need to take turns to keep her at bay - " Akira's legs twitched, as if he were about to move, but he stopped himself. "Uh. So, I want to catch up to you, but if I want to pour more, I'll have to - "

  
"I'm not _naked_ or whatever. You can. Just don't... stare at me again."

  
Akira kept his face turned away all the same as he poured himself another drink - this time, straight whiskey. "Still. Sorry about... before. I just got confused. I guess."

  
"Quit it. I probly didn't need to jump on you just now, either. You saw more'n this at the bathhouse, anyway, so - "

  
"Yeah." Akira took a pull of whiskey and only had to cough a little. He laid down again, his hands folded over his stomach, and stayed quiet.

  
He could change the subject too. "What'd you mean by Ann thinking I didn't need any help, anyway?"

  
The relief on Akira's face was obvious. Ryuji realized he'd been just as worried about having him over as he'd been himself on the train on his way here. If Akira wanted to put their fight behind them, Ryuji could meet him halfway.

  
Akira cracked his knuckles, still staring at the ceiling. "Oh. With the beer. Ann thought Mishima needed some convincing, I guess. Or like, not convincing, just... relaxing? She just gave him one, and she said that made things go better."

  
"Aw. Poor guy." His head felt heavy, as if his neck had a hard time holding it up, so he stretched out on the couch, flat on his back with his knees up. "Yeah, we'd already tried like two or three times, so by the time I got to her house, I didn't need any help." He smirked to himself. "Did she think _you_ needed help? Your first time with her?"

  
He couldn't see Akira anymore, but he could guess at his expression. A distinctly suggestive tone had entered his voice. "We each had a beer. Mishima told me later that she'd said it was for _her,_ though, not for me... "

  
"Heh. I can't even picture her bein' nervous about anything like that. When I was with her she had a real filthy mouth, too." His face was hot to the touch. They were just going over one of their chat topics out in the open, speaking out loud in specifics about what they'd already hinted at in text, but he still felt a little embarrassed. _Whatever. You said you wanted to be invited to the secret clubhouse. That's all this is._ He pushed things a little further. "You the one who made her like that? Fuckin' dirty?"

  
Akira let out a funny laugh, half as if he were trying to sound cool and casual, and half as if he saw the goofiness of the whole thing, and Ryuji saw that they really were on the same page. Akira felt awkward to be talking like this out loud, just as he did - he just didn't want to admit it. He liked to act all high and mighty, like he was so far ahead, but... "Remember which trophy I won? I think she was a little intimidated. That's why she needed help relaxing." If Ryuji wasn't imagining things, there was the slightest tremor in Akira's voice, even as he tried to sound sly. "If anything made her like that, it was my fat cock, not me."

  
He couldn't help it. He exploded with laughter. "Oh, _fuck off - "_

  
Akira laughed just as loud. "Hey, she awarded the dick trophy, not me. You can't argue with results like that - "

  
"You n' your - fuck, she was right. You really can't _not_ talk about it, huh."

  
"Maybe I just wanna get back at you for _your_ trophy." That suggestive tone was back, and Ryuji just _knew_ that he was smirking over there, even if they couldn't see each other.

  
"You weren't even a _contender_ , man." He shut his eyes and laughed again, loud. The shadow of their fight from before was long gone. "Mishima was runner up for the hardcore trophy, and even he conceded. Give it up."

  
"That's not the reason... "

  
"Yeah? What, then."

  
Akira let out a groan of frustration. "Ever since he heard about what you did to Ann, he will _not_ shut up about it."

  
"Uh, what? What does he... ?"

  
"He wants me to... uh... "

  
He forgot all about keeping Akira's eyes off of him. He lunged to an upright position and peered across the room at him.

  
He'd thrown his forearm across his glasses, but Ryuji could still see enough of him to tell. Akira was mortified.

  
Ryuji leapt onto the bed beside him and shook him by the shoulders, mocking him. "Oh shiiiit, am I showin' you up? Makin' you look bad?"

  
_Fuckin' serves you right._ Now Akira would know how it felt. The entire time Ryuji had spent with Ann, he'd been held up against Akira and Mishima's example, and not always favourably. She didn't say it, but he could sense the comparison, and now that the shoe was on the other foot, he didn't intend to let the opportunity to rub it in go to waste.

  
He remembered what Ann had said after she'd bruised her tailbone, about how Akira and Mishima had offered him pointers out of pity, and grinned wide. "You need a lesson, Akira? Bet I could teach you how to keep him happy, if you don't know how - "

  
"Thought you didn't want me to look at you, dumbass."

  
At some point, probably when he'd offered to give Akira rimming lessons, he'd climbed on top of him and straddled his waist, his hands pinning his upper arms to the mattress. He looked...

  
"Fuck, you are _wasted,_ man. Didn't think you'd be such a lightweight - "

  
Akira really was further gone than he'd expected. His face was the reddest he'd ever seen, and when Ryuji knew to listen for it, he could hear him slurring his words, too. "Oh, like you're _not - "_ He kicked his legs, but since he'd left his feet on the floor, he had a hard time dislodging him. Ryuji could tell that part of that was the whiskey, too - when Akira suddenly freed his arms from beneath his hands, his movements were slow and clumsy, and Ryuji saw him coming a mile away. He dodged his shove easily and caught him by the wrists, laughing in his face.

  
"Give it up. You're just not as good as you think you are."

  
Akira made one last attempt to struggle, bucking beneath him, but had to give in. He gave him an exaggerated scowl, then started laughing, sounding a bit sheepish. "Ugh. Fine. You got me."

  
When Akira had been in motion, he'd been looking at Ryuji's hands, or his face, trying to anticipate his next move. But now that they'd come to rest again, he didn't seem to know where to look. He squeezed his eyes shut.

  
"Geeze, I'm not gonna _hit_ you. Knock it off."

  
Akira wasn't kidding anymore. "You told me not to look at you. So I'm not." His eyes were still closed.

  
He sat there for a long moment, staring down at Akira's face and listening to him breathe. For some reason he thought of the last time they'd both been in the bus in Mementos, when he'd caught Akira watching him and Ann in the rearview mirror. He had the same thought that he'd had then.

  
_It's just Akira. Who gives a shit._

  
"You've seen me _shirtless_ , man. You've seen more'n this. Open your eyes already." Akira did, one at a time, making Ryuji laugh. "You are _so_ drunk."

  
"You are too! You're all sweaty - " They fell into silence again as Akira let his eyes crawl over his chest. Ryuji watched him do it.

  
_He's just looking. So what._

  
But then Akira's eyes darted somewhere else. "Uh, did you know you're - "

  
He hadn't known. The whiskey had done something to him, something to do with his self awareness. It warmed him up but numbed him, too. "That's just. That's just from what we were talkin' about. Before." He didn't feel ashamed to have been caught like this. It was more like he felt like he _should_ be ashamed. Somehow he didn't actually feel very much at all.

  
_The fuck am I doing._

  
_Maybe it's not the whiskey._

  
After all, he hadn't been drunk on the bus. He'd been dead sober when he'd spread his legs wide, daring Akira to look all he wanted to. Daring him to check him out while he'd been rock hard and feeling Ann up, right out in the open.

  
He sat on top of Akira and watched a change come over his face, like clouds moving fast on a windy day. He felt frozen as Akira stared up at his face, looking sort of lazy and sly again, then slipped one of his hands free. "That so?" Akira's hand drifted up, slow and indirect, but all Ryuji could do was watch it in silence.

  
Akira settled his hand on his thigh and grinned up at him. "Been seeing a lot of you, lately. Like this."

  
Ryuji couldn't catch his breath. He panted, his heart thudding hard, and didn't move a muscle.

  
"Is this what you wanted?" Akira's hand moved higher, came to a stop, then crept upwards again. He left his palm flat on his jeans, inches from touching him.

  
Something shifted inside him, something that allowed him to move again. Ryuji leaned forward and put a little more weight on Akira's wrist, letting his other hand hold up the rest of his weight. He left Akira's free hand alone. "You already... you already saw that, too."

  
_It's just like the chat, anyway. Same shit._

  
_It's just Akira._

  
Ryuji breathed through his mouth and loomed over him as Akira slowly unzipped him, then reached inside his fly and touched him through his briefs. His touch was feather-light, skating just his fingertips over his length. "I liked that photo of you." Akira's voice had gone low and quiet. He wasn't looking at his face anymore.

  
"Oh yeah?" There was something about seeing Akira like this. Something about the way his eyes were hooded, intensely focused on him and only him. It wasn't so different from how Akira had been staring at him on the top floor of Mementos, but it _felt_ different. Instead of being ambushed, of being _caught,_ it was more like when he'd let Ann take that photo of him while he'd been inside her. More like when he'd just... pulled it up and sent it to Akira and Mishima. Like a weird mix of pride and anticipation and stepping out onto thin air. His heart was thudding now just like it had been then.

  
Akira flicked his eyes up, just for a second, to check in with him. Then he focused on what his fingers were doing and pulled him free from his briefs. Ryuji held his breath.

  
"Yeah... " Akira sighed to himself, and started playing with Ryuji's cock.

  
He explored him with his fingertips, gentle and careful. He circled him and squeezed until Ryuji gasped, then smiled to hear it, still keeping his eyes on only what was in front of him. He looked the very picture of satisfaction, come to life.

  
But Ryuji still felt like he'd stepped out onto thin air and had never gotten his footing back. It wasn't safe. Their _chat_ was safe. He filled the silence with the first thing that came to mind. "You agree with Ann? You think we're a tie for your trophy?"

  
Akira slipped into their old back and forth immediately, as if he'd wanted to return to it himself all along. Maybe his smirk was just a front. "Hey, you conceded. You don't get to change your mind now." He'd started idly tracing the edges of the head with his fingertips, a tickling motion that made Ryuji squirm on top of him. "She was right though. You're thicker." Akira did something with his thumb, some kind of twist along the underside of Ryuji's cock that he couldn't anticipate, and Ryuji's hips leapt forward all on their own.

  
He didn't think. Couldn't think. His legs followed where his hips led him until he was seated on Akira's chest. He let go of both of Akira's arms and leaned forward, propping himself up with his hands against the wall instead.

  
"Are you asking me for something?" Akira wet his lips.

  
He legitimately didn't know how to answer. It wasn't like he had some kind of plan. Things were happening too fast for him to follow. It was a simple yes or no question, nothing more required, but that felt too naked. Too honest. He retreated to what felt safe. "When I stayed at Ann's, she gave me head."

  
_See? Just chat stuff._

  
If he kept bringing her up, if he kept Ann in the room, then he could pretend a little while longer.

  
"Yeah? You like it?" Akira breathed, his voice still quiet and solemn. He wriggled a little further down the bed, but his arms were trapped in front of Ryuji's thighs, and he couldn't get his mouth any closer.

  
Ryuji lifted up his knees, first one, then the other, so Akira could move his arms. "Yeah. I did." He could feel Akira's breath on his cock now, little touches of air that made him shiver.

  
Akira didn't have anything left to say. He gripped the backs of Ryuji's thighs and lifted his head, then took him into his mouth.

  
At first Akira closed his eyes, and Ryuji would have sagged backward in relief if it didn't mean he'd be taking his cock back with him. Akira looking straight at him was too intense, as though he could see what Ryuji was thinking better than he could himself. With his eyes closed, Ryuji could look away and imagine their chat better, as though he was really just alone with his hand in his bedroom instead of seated on his best friend's chest, watching him suck his cock.

  
But then Akira did open his eyes again. He locked eyes with him as he closed his lips around just the head, then flicked the underside with his tongue, and it was too much. Ryuji squeezed his eyes shut, then leaned forward to hide his face in his forearms, folded against the wall.

  
But that brought his hips forward even more. Akira made an ugly noise, half protest and half choked gasp, and had to turn his head to the side. Ryuji opened his eyes again just in time to see the head of his cock drag saliva up Akira's face until it came to rest on his cheekbone, bumping the arm of his glasses. "Ryuji, this isn't - I'm just gonna keep getting you with my teeth if we don't do this some other way."

  
Did that mean Akira had already scraped him with his teeth? He hadn't felt it, if he had. His mind raced for some stupid line from their chat, something to hide behind. Bringing Mishima into it wasn't as good as mentioning Ann, but if it meant that he didn't have to think about what they were really doing, it would have to do. "How does Mishima like it?" He put on a grin, trying for a suggestive tone as he climbed off of Akira.

  
Akira knelt on the floor, and that almost did him in. Akira had been flat on his back a minute ago, and if Ryuji happened to climb on top of him, that was just playing. Wrestling, or whatever. But there weren't too many reasons that Akira would be on his knees on the floor at the side of the bed, other than to finish what they'd already started.

  
Akira kept up conversation as he waited for him to make up his mind. "I probably don't do that for him as much as I should. We tend to sorta skip to the other stuff." He grinned up at him, still flushed from the whisky, and Ryuji realized he could see a little silvery trail of saliva leading from his mouth up to his cheekbone. "He's _really_ good at it though."

  
While Ryuji had been busy debating, his body had decided for him. He was already seated in front of Akira, legs spread wide, and he let himself go loose and compliant as Akira dragged his jeans and briefs down around his ankles, leaving him bare all the way up from there.

  
_He wants to. It's what you came here to do, isn't it?_

  
His hands floated down to Akira's hair and stayed there, just resting lightly on either side of his head, but they felt like they belonged to someone else. Someone who was used to this. Someone who knew what to do. His cock might as well have belonged to someone else, too. He still _felt_ it when Akira took him in his mouth again, and it felt _nice,_ or at least not _bad,_ but it was fuzzy and indistinct. Like music overheard through shitty headphones, worn by someone else. He watched as Akira picked up a slow, deep rhythm, bobbing his head above his cock and groaning from time to time, as if he got as much out of what he was doing as Ryuji did. As much as Ryuji was supposed to be getting out of it, anyway.

  
If he said something, Akira would have to stop what he was doing to answer. And he could bring Ann back into the room, too.

  
He faked a satisfied noise, since that was probably what he was supposed to be feeling. "Mm. You really... you really blow Ann out of the water." Maybe it was true. Maybe it wasn't. He had no idea. It was just something to say.

  
Akira laughed around his cock, a brief humming sensation that was neither pleasant nor unpleasant, and pulled off of him with an obscene noise. "Uh, good choice of words." He stared up at Ryuji through his lashes and kept his hand moving. "I mean. Ann tries. But she does it because she thinks she has to." He brought his face back down and enveloped the head in his mouth, then sucked, hard, hollowing his cheeks. He pulled off just long enough to add, "She doesn't enjoy it." Then he went back to it.

  
Something was required of him. Ryuji realized that he could barely even track what Akira was saying, let alone keep tabs on what his own body was doing or not doing. But he had another chance to interrupt Akira if he spoke, so he tried harder until he recalled what he'd said. "So you... enjoy it?"

  
It backfired. Akira hummed around his cock again and picked up the pace instead of answering.

  
_I should just let him. He looks like he likes it._

  
Ryuji made another noise - was he supposed to make noise? He'd felt completely different when Ann had done this for him, and though he remembered clearly what it had felt like and what Ann had looked like doing it, he couldn't remember what he'd been doing at the time, or how he might have sounded.

  
Maybe the noise he'd made was wrong, somehow. Akira had pulled off of his cock again, and though he kept it in a loose grip, he'd stopped moving his hand. "Are you... okay? Right now?" The sly look was gone.

  
"Mm." His hands were still in Akira's hair, so he started to stroke it, really just moving his fingertips back and forth through it. He was supposed to say something now. "Your hair's pretty soft."

  
Akira pulled his head away and sat on his heels, staring at the floor. "I think you're too drunk for this."

  
Now he wouldn't have to come up with anything else to interrupt Akira with, at least. But he was supposed to want this. He opened his mouth but no sound came out.

  
He kept losing time, somehow. One second, Akira was kneeling between his legs, looking a little disappointed. The next second, he was suddenly sitting next to him on the bed. Ryuji blinked. "What?"

  
Things were finally coming back to him again. The _world_ came back to him again. He could feel the distinct sensation of his cock throbbing, as if neglected - how long had it been since Akira had stopped touching him? Somehow he felt that more than anything Akira had done for him. It helped him remember that he was completely exposed right in front of him, sitting just a foot or two away, so he stood quickly and pulled his jeans up.

  
Now it was Akira's turn to blink in surprise, as though he hadn't expected to see him move so fast. "I - huh. Maybe you're not as drunk as I thought."

  
"I'm okay." He zipped himself up carefully, watching his hands while he did it. There was nothing uncertain about their movement now. They were just his hands again, and they moved the way he told them to. "Why do you think I'm too drunk?" He was still hard as a rock, almost painfully so, but he welcomed it. It was better than being numb.

  
Akira was eyeing him right out in the open, but telling him not to stare now seemed pretty fucking stupid. His breath caught in his throat when he realized that the way Akira was sitting showed everything - he was still fully clothed, but was otherwise in the same state he was. But when Akira spoke, he looked him in the eye. "You looked pretty zoned out. Thought you might want to stop."

  
"I'm okay," he repeated. He had no way to explain the way he'd felt. He just knew that it was over. And he really didn't feel as drunk as he had; his words weren't slurred, to his own ears at least, and his head wasn't heavy anymore. He started putting on his t-shirt, then stopped.

  
_Fair's fair._ He turned back to Akira, still sitting on the bed. "Guess I owe you, huh?"

  
"But you didn't even - " Something was wrong. Akira looked grim, his lips pressed tightly together.

  
He finished pulling his t-shirt over his head and knelt in front of Akira. "I'm okay." Maybe he'd forgotten how to say anything else.

  
_You said you wanted in. This is part of it._

  
He was done feeling numb, but now that dicey feeling was back, that heart-in-your-throat feeling. He hooked his fingers in the waistband of Akira's drawstring pants and waited for him to lift his hips, then pulled them down.

  
_Look at him. He's into it. Bet he'll be quick anyway._

  
_Just do it._

  
Ryuji got just a glimpse of Akira's cock, flushed dark and as hard as he was, before he'd shut his eyes again and stuck it in his mouth. He wrapped his fingers around what his mouth couldn't cover and tried to remember what Akira had looked like when he'd done the same for him. The memory already felt dim and far away.

  
He grunted in surprise when he felt the heel of Akira's hand on his forehead, pushing him away. "Huh?"

  
Akira looked upset for some reason.

  
"That bad, huh?" Ryuji joked.

  
He'd left his fingers in Ryuji's hair. The sensation was weirdly pleasant, in stark contrast with Akira's stormy expression. "I don't - I don't need anything either. Don't worry about it," Akira said.

  
He couldn't decide if he was relieved or if he wanted to go back to it. It felt like the alcohol had receded a little, and the numbness was gone too, but... "Aw. Sure you do. Lemme help." He gave Akira's cock an experimental pump with his fingers.

  
"No. I'm good." Akira yanked his pants back up and moved back on the bed, out of his reach. "I think. Um. I think this is better sober."

  
"Maybe _you're_ the one who's 'too drunk'?" Ryuji teased. It was easier now that he knew they could stop.

  
Akira wasn't in the mood for it. He sat with his back to the wall on his bed, knees raised to hide himself. "Maybe I don't feel like being called a creep again. After you sober up."

  
Ryuji retreated to the couch to put some space between them. Akira turned off the light.

  
_Good job, asshole. So much for your invite._

  
Akira had forgotten to give him a blanket or a pillow, so Ryuji sat in the dark, trying to figure out how to proceed. "Are you... mad?" he chanced.

  
He listened to Akira let out a long sigh from across the room. "Sorry. That was. That was kind of a shitty thing to say." It sounded like he'd laid down in his bed. "You just looked sorta spacey. I don't... This isn't something you want to regret later. Right?"

  
_Spacey?_

  
"Oh." His voice sounded foreign to his own ears, thick and funny sounding. "Yeah. You're right."

  
"Shit. Are you... ?" Akira must have sat up in the dark.

  
"Huh?"

  
He flinched away - suddenly Akira was sitting next to him on the couch, though he kept his hands to himself. Akira really could be spooky quiet in the dark. "I'm sorry, Ryuji."

  
"For what?" Something wet fell onto his forearm.

  
"I, um. I fucked this up. Sorry."

  
His mind kept going back to that word. "What did I do? While I was spaced out?"

  
Akira shifted a little on the couch next to him. "You just... I dunno. You didn't tell me _no,_ but you didn't really look like you were enjoying it, either. And you put your clothes back on pretty quick, too. Without... finishing."

  
Ryuji touched his face. "The hell? Why am I... "

  
Now Akira's voice sounded a little funny, too. "I'm sorry."

  
"You don't gotta - stop it. Quit sayin' that."

  
"This keeps - I've done this twice, now." Akira swallowed thickly. "I made Mishima cry, too."

  
Things were moving too fast for him to keep up, again. "Mishima? When?"

  
"His first time with me. The first time we did anything at all, too."

  
There were too many things to talk about, so Ryuji set what Akira had just told him aside for the moment. "Hey, don't. You didn't. Make me cry." His voice was still foggy, as if to betray him. "I don't think it's anything you did, I mean."

  
"Don't believe you. Sorry."

  
"Knock it off with that 'sorry' shit." He fumbled out his hand and, after a couple of tries, found Akira's shoulder in the dark.

  
Maybe that had gotten through to him. He still didn't sound any better than Ryuji, but he tried to joke. "You're just a weepy drunk then? On top of being loud?"

  
"Yup. That must be it." He let out a pathetic little laugh, and the sound of it made him laugh at himself for real. Akira laughed, too.

  
\----------

  
Ryuji blinked in the bright light. Akira had gotten up from the couch to fetch them both some tissues.

  
"Ugh. Thanks." He blew his nose while Akira did the same. He couldn't look him in the eye.

  
Maybe Akira felt the same way, because he took off his glasses and turned out the light again almost immediately, then crawled back into bed.

  
Ryuji sighed and curled up on the couch. He was still overheated, so he stripped off his t-shirt in the dark and pillowed it under his head, then added his jacket to it and got comfortable.

  
_'Spacey'._

  
_Thought I was done with that shit._

  
He stared into the darkness, trying not to think about how things used to be.

  
Akira saved him from his thoughts. "Did I read you wrong? Again?" He didn't sound like he was crying anymore. Instead he sounded nothing like the Akira he knew. He sounded timid.

  
Ryuji didn't have an answer for that.

  
"I mean. Did you want that? From me?" His voice was so quiet that Ryuji had a hard time making out his words, so he sat up and peered into the darkness in Akira's direction, as if that would help.

  
"Dunno." It was insufficient, but he had nothing to add to it. He realized that even now, even after the way things had gone tonight, his idiot brain was still running through lines they'd already used in their chat. As if that would help. As if that were the only safe way to move forward.

  
"You get why I'd - why I'd think you wanted that, right? Sitting on me like that, while you were... ? You get why?" Akira sounded defensive, even though Ryuji hadn't laid a word of blame on him.

  
Ryuji spoke haltingly, without knowing what was going to come out until he'd said it. "Maybe it was just too fast." He knew it was the truth once it was out of his mouth. "I. I know I did more with Ann, already. I know that. But I sorta feel like... like I wanna figure things out a bit more. Slower, I mean."

  
"With me or with Ann?"

  
"Both... ? I think?"

  
"Oh." Akira's voice had gone quiet again, but now he sounded pleased. At least, he hoped so.

  
He'd stepped out onto thin air again. That was one hell of an assumption he'd just made. "Is that okay... ?"

  
"I'm game." Akira still had a little smile in his voice. He could picture it perfectly.

  
"Yeah, I already _know_ you're gay, man - "

  
_"You heard me_ \- fuck - " Now he had Akira laughing, so he joined him.

  
Akira said something else, but the way he was laying muffled his voice. Ryuji got up and sat on the corner of the bed. "Can't hear you, sorry."

  
Akira seemed to take it as a ploy of some kind. "Sure you can't." He rolled over in the dark and did something with his covers. "You'll hear me better over here."

  
He'd scooched all the way to the wall and had pulled his covers back for him.

  
_This feels so weird._

  
Ryuji took a deep breath and held it.

  
_Who gives a shit. It's just Akira._

  
He climbed in.

  
Akira didn't fit with him the way Ann did. They were close to the same size, and it was a small bed. They kept changing position until they finally wound up face to face, more or less. Ryuji slipped his arm beneath Akira's head, and Akira hooked his arm around his waist. Their legs took some adjusting too, until Akira stuck his thigh between Ryuji's and tangled their feet together.

  
"Feels weird, huh," Akira mumbled, just a few inches away from Ryuji's bare chest. Maybe he'd read his mind.

  
Ryuji laughed and let his face rest against his wild hair. "Yeah. For all the action you get, you've got this tiny-ass bed - "

  
"One night a week impresses you? Seriously?"

  
"Maybe it's not the amount that impresses me, then." Ryuji grinned in the dark. "You guys keep dancin' around it, but. Nobody's told me about this crazy Orgy Weekend you all had."

  
"Oh. Our _team meetup,_ you mean." That sly tone was back in Akira's voice. The verbal equivalent of that smirky thing he always did. Ryuji would take it over the way he'd sounded a minute or two ago, timid and hurt, any day of the week.

  
"Yeah, that. How'd you make that work? I gotta know."

  
"Fucked 'em on the floor." Akira, usually so much more articulate than him, seemed to be picking up some of his vulgarity by osmosis. Or maybe it was just to make him laugh. It worked, if so. "Couch too, I guess. Ann, anyway."

  
"Same time, though?"

  
"Yeah." Then he sounded mournful. "I hate to admit it, but it's not really like porn. One at a time's probably better. Ann's ass was just always in the way."

  
Ryuji was taken by surprise and clutched him closer, laughing hard. Akira just clung tight to his back and laughed too.

  
When they'd both fallen silent again, Akira murmured, "Think you're still drunk?" Ryuji felt something tickle his back and realized Akira had started to stroke him with his fingertips.

  
The reality of what he was doing finally hit him, and his body stiffened; considering his first instinct was to shove Akira away and jump out of bed, it could have been worse.

  
Akira had noticed, though. He lifted his hand away. "You okay?" Ryuji knew he was really asking, _Is this okay?_

  
It was, and it wasn't. He'd stumbled into everything he'd done with Ann, as though too much forethought or planning would have made it too real - he'd googled all kinds of things, sure, but he hadn't discussed much at all with her ahead of time. And he didn't regret how things had turned out, exactly. He wanted to see her again. But there was a huge gulf between what he'd done with her in her bed, or in the train shelter in Mementos, and what he really wanted.

  
It was the chat. It was the easy talk, the compliments, the teasing between all four of them. It was safe in a way that actually sleeping with Ann hadn't been. He'd been so tense, so focused on impressing her, that he'd barely gotten to ease into it before it was over each time. It was the last time, when she'd given him head in the middle of the night, with her makeup smeared around her eyes and her hair all crazy, that had given him an idea of what he really wanted. He hadn't even been able to finish, but it was his favourite.

  
He'd felt closer to her then, and just after, when he'd held her tight and talked to her in the dark, than he had at any other time that night. It was what he really liked about the chat. It wasn't actually about what they were talking about at all, though that made it more fun, sometimes. He just wanted to be close.

  
But it was sort of scary, too.

  
"Yeah. 'm okay." He tried to relax as Akira started moving his fingertips up his back again.

  
Akira sighed against him and stopped moving his hand. "That's what you said before, but... "

  
"I mean it."

  
"Can you - can you tell me no? If you don't want... this? Can you say it?" He jolted a little when he realized Akira was actually pleading with him. His breathing had picked up, puffing against Ryuji's chest, and his voice went even higher, more urgent. "Please. Right now. Just say, 'Akira, don't.'"

  
"But I _am_ okay. _This_ is okay."

  
"Then pretend. Humour me. Just, just tell me no."

  
It was important to him, so Ryuji did it, not knowing what to think. "Um. Alright. Akira, don't. Stop."

  
He felt Akira's shoulders relax against his arms immediately.

  
"What, uh. What's that about?"

  
Akira just gave him a whole lot of silence.

  
Ryuji was about to repeat himself, to insist on an answer, when Akira started to mumble against his chest again. "I keep telling you about the good stuff. You know. We joke about the, the fun parts in the chat. Or you ask me how things went with Ann or Mishima, and I tell you something dirty, and we laugh about it. Right? But maybe I should be more honest."

  
"Okay. Tell me, then."

  
"I hurt Ann, the first time."

  
"Not - not on purpose though." There was no doubt in his mind. He just said it to show Akira that he knew.

  
"Yeah. Just an accident. I didn't - " Akira laughed abruptly, startling him. There wasn't much humour to it. "I was saying that about _you,_ but I was the one who didn't know how to do it. I didn't know how to get her ready, and she didn't know she wasn't ready, either."

  
"So you just - "

  
"Yeah. Hard as I could." He cringed a little against him, still ashamed just to talk about it. Ryuji had never seen him like this. "The way she sounded... She said it's not my fault. But. I still did it."

  
"So you had me tell you to stop because - "

  
Akira wasn't done. "And then the first time with Mishima, I made him cry. Like I said before. He, um. He talked about it with Ann later, and he said I was scary."

  
Ryuji wondered if Akira had ever talked about all of this at once with anyone else before. It was almost like he was confessing. "I bet he just meant that he thought the whole thing was scary. He's always been kinda nervous. Shy. Long before he met you."

  
"No. I was scary." Akira sounded dead certain.

  
"But he came _back,_ man. There wouldn't have _been_ a second time, if you were so bad."

  
"He said that too, but... I sometimes think that he can't tell me no. That he'll just... take it, and he won't tell me to stop. Even if he really wants me to."

  
Ryuji remembered what Ann had told him had happened to Mishima back in April - or, more accurately, what he had guessed. But he wasn't supposed to know about that. He held his tongue.

  
There was more. Akira kept going. His voice was flat, just stating the facts. "Mishima keeps wanting me to hit him."

  
There was no preparing for it. Ryuji recoiled. "O-oh."

  
Akira's face was already out of sight, given how dark it was, but he lowered it even further. "Yeah."

  
Ryuji was way out of his depth. "Like, you fight? Or... "

  
"He likes to be hit. And held down. He likes it... rough. But I... " Akira's breathing had picked up again. He spoke faster and faster. "I can't hurt him. Rough is one thing. But he asked me to slap him, and it left a _mark,_ his, his lip split, and he was all disappointed that I wouldn't do it _again,_ but - "

  
He was so relieved that he started to laugh. He wrapped both arms around Akira's shoulders and pulled him close. "Aw, that's just kinky shit. Porn shit. You had me all worried for a sec." _You big faker._ Akira was so careful to come across as self-assured. Confident. Like everything came so easily to him. Maybe some of it was true, but not all of it.

  
Ryuji rested his chin on top of Akira's head. "After things went like that for them, you thought the first time we tried something, it'd be... ?"

  
"Bad? Yeah. Wasn't it?"

  
He didn't want to hurt his feelings. But after everything Akira had just laid out for him, he didn't want to be dishonest, either. "Well. It wasn't anythin' you did. Or didn't do."

  
Akira stayed silent, waiting for him.

  
"I guess... I guess I could tell you. You, uh. You told me all your shit, so here's mine." He took a moment to gather himself. "Remember what I said about my dad? Not too long after we started up the Phantom Thieves?"

  
"That he beat you? And your mom?" Akira's voice was hushed.

  
"Yeah. Well, like. This is a thing I didn't know about for a long time, until my mom told me. But I guess when I was a kid, when shit with him got real bad - "

  
"Your dad - "

  
"Yeah - I guess I'd lose time. Sometimes most of a day. I'd just up n' leave."

  
"You... ran away... ?"

  
"No, that'd just make things worse. If I really did leave. I mean I'd... I'd wake up, help my mom with breakfast, and then my dad would come in, and... the next second it's afternoon. Or night time. And he'd be real drunk all of a sudden, but it was like no time had passed for me. It was like I left."

  
Akira let out a long breath against him. "I guess I don't get it."

  
"My mom used to say I looked spacey sometimes. During the bad times, I mean. Not all there. I sorta forgot about all this until you said it. That I looked spacey, tonight."

  
"Oh." He made a tiny high pitched noise in the back of his throat, and when he spoke again, his voice was funny again. Thick. "I, um. I reminded you of... the bad times?"

  
"Aw. Akira. No, not that."

  
"Then why would you... ?"

  
"I just... " Ryuji realized that it was harder to talk about this than it was to talk about his dad. That was just old shit. This was now. "Okay, so. I'm not scared of you. You're not scary to me. But I _was..._ scared." _Ugh._ He scowled in the dark. "You know what I mean. Nervous."

  
Akira didn't exactly sound reassured. "Bet this didn't happen your first time with _Ann,_ though."

  
"Sure. But I'd been thinkin' about dating Ann for like a year. Off and on. Remember when I talked to you and Mishima, and you guys gave me advice? I'd already been thinkin' about how I should ask her out for like a month before that."

  
"So then it really was just - "

  
"Too fast. Yeah. I kinda, um. I wanna try again. If you guys will let me be in the secret club."

  
Akira laughed against him suddenly. "Our weird fucking sex club."

  
"That's, that's redundant, you could just say 'our weird fuck club' - "

  
They laughed, and it was better.

  
Akira started to wriggle against him, then leaned back and freed his arms. "You're cooking me alive." He wrenched the covers down and had his shirt pulled halfway up his chest before he stopped. "Um."

  
"You can. We might as well be the same."

  
He finished taking his shirt off and flung it to the floor behind Ryuji. But then he pulled away from him and pressed his back against the wall, leaving only his feet touching him.

  
"Akira. Come back, man."

  
He did, cautiously, until they laid the way they had before. Ryuji found his hair in the dark and ran his fingers through it. "You do have nice hair. It's real soft."

  
Akira snorted. "Thanks? You said that before, too."

  
They lay in silence for a while, Ryuji stroking his hair and Akira just letting him. It took him a few minutes, but Akira finally returned his hand to Ryuji's back and began to touch him. This time, he didn't shy away. Akira skated his fingertips over his hip, up his side, until he reached his shoulderblades and left his hand between them. "Can you tell me what you want?"

  
That was a tough question. "Um." Then he remembered something Ann had said. It helped. "Well. You know. When Ann and I were starting up, I guess I was just thinkin' it would be... porn shit. Just sex. Nothin' else, because we said we weren't gonna be romantic. But, like. I told her I wanted to be nice to her, too. She said... she said you don't gotta be romantic to be nice."

  
Akira's voice was close, just below his chin. "Aw. Ryuji." He shifted in the dark until he'd inched a little further up the bed. "You just want... to be nice?" Ryuji nodded in the dark. Akira must have been able to see it. He brought his face closer, and now Ryuji could feel his breath against his face. "We can be nice." He closed the distance and kissed him.

  
Akira tasted like coffee and whiskey, strong and bitter. But it made Ryuji think of how he always smelled, like the bags of coffee beans on the shelf in his bedroom. Or maybe it was from the cafe downstairs? Anyway. He focused on what he was doing, trying to go slow for once. This time he didn't have to plan two steps ahead and figure out how far he was going to go, like he did with Ann; he'd been so busy strategizing about how he was going to make her happy that he hadn't been able to enjoy it. Not really. But now he could relax. He pressed against Akira and parted his lips against his.

  
After a minute or two Akira broke away and smiled against him - Ryuji could feel his mouth move against his face, and heard it in his voice, too. "You're a good kisser, 'yuji."

  
He felt so warm. He grinned in the dark. "So are you."


	29. "That's over." A naked sort of present. Formal introduction.

A few hours before Akira invited Ryuji over to Leblanc, Mishima stood on Ann's doorstep, fiddling with the ties on his overnight bag. He wasn't as nervous as he'd been the first time she'd had him over, but it still wasn't exactly comfortable anymore, either.

  
"Hey." She didn't keep him waiting long before she opened the door and let him inside.

  
"Hi Ann." He slipped out of his sneakers in the entryway and followed her to one of the two leather couches in her living room. If the blush on her face was any indication, she was probably remembering the same thing that he was.

  
They sat in silence, several feet apart.

  
"You, um. Did you do something different with your hair?" he asked. It was hard to tell, but she might have parted it in a new way. Or maybe it was how her bangs were styled.

  
"Oh. Yeah." She couldn't meet his eyes for long, as if embarrassed by the attention.

  
"I like it. Looks nice."

  
"Thanks."

  
More awkward silence.

  
He'd never seen her act like this. Ann said what she meant and took the direct approach. When she'd developed an interest in him, she'd told him flat out, face to face, even though it was less than a week after he'd spent his first night with Akira. The very first time he'd come over to her house, she'd taken him by the hand and led him directly to her bedroom, one thing and one thing only on her mind. And when he told her he loved her, she gave it to him straight. She told him she didn't love him back, as kindly as possible, because she was like that. Ann said what needed to be said, even if it hurt.

  
So this uncomfortable small talk routine had him baffled. Things had moved along like clockwork during his other visits, or at least it seemed that way in hindsight if he chose to ignore how petrified he'd been, but everything felt different this time.

  
He inched closer on the couch. "Something wrong?"

  
She looked away. "No." She wore a tight little smile as she stared at the floor. "Um. I guess we didn't talk too much after that fight we had, huh?"

  
That simplified things, then, if that was all that she was nervous about. He took her hand. "That's over. I'm not - I'm not still mad. Don't worry."

  
Apparently that wasn't the whole of it. She could look him in the eye now, but the stiffness in her posture and that grim smile remained. "That's good." Her hand remained limp in his.

  
Ever since she'd agreed to consider coming back to their arrangement a week and a half ago, he'd pictured this night in his head. Every time, things had played out more or less the way they'd gone the second time he'd stayed overnight, because it was his favourite. The initial awkwardness was gone, and they each knew what the other wanted. That night, he'd teased her, and she'd wrestled him down to one of the couches in her living room, and before an hour had passed from when he'd walked through the door, he'd lost his virginity to her. They'd barely spent a moment apart for the rest of the night, as if they had to make their time together really count. Now they'd spent real time apart, weeks and weeks, but sitting in the same room again, it felt like a chasm had opened between them.

  
But a lot had happened in the meantime. It was probably unreasonable to expect things to just snap back to the way they'd been.

  
And they'd never fought before, not one on one at least. There'd been the time when he'd blown up at Akira and Ann for keeping him in the dark about how they were planning to proceed with him, but it felt so long ago and so unimportant compared to everything that had happened since that he nearly didn't count it. If anything, it was just a miscommunication. Just something that needed to be talked out and put behind them. It was nothing like what he and Ann had fought about at school a few days ago.

  
His heart sank as he remembered. Hoping to get past the fight and make up, he'd asked her out for coffee, again, and she'd turned him down, again, explaining that she had a shoot to get to. In the end, over the course of the months they'd known each other, she'd turned him down more times than she'd ever accepted.

  
He let go of her hand and picked up the remote, desperate to fill the silence.

  
They sat without speaking, not touching, as one TV show, then another, went by on the screen. When he finally glanced over at her, he realized she wasn't even watching; she was watching him instead, but only when she thought he wasn't looking.

  
_This is pointless._ He shut the TV off. "Ann, what's wrong?"

  
Her face startled him. She sat with her shoulders hunched round, staring at the floor again, but didn't answer. The only way he could interpret her expression was that she was deeply unhappy. He remembered how she'd looked on his other visits, and the difference was like night and day. In his memories of the first two times he'd stayed the night, she'd always been laughing, both with him and _at_ him, too. Or she'd worn a calculating little smile as she coaxed him with practiced fingers to right where she wanted him, in one way or another. And even on his final visit, the night he'd summoned the courage to put a stop to his own incessant rat track thoughts and finally just _tell someone,_ tell _her,_ she hadn't looked like this.

  
Of course she'd looked sad then, too. She'd wept for him; he hadn't been in any state of mind to notice, but he'd seen her face afterward and realized it then. He'd felt guilty for that, too, though he knew now how strong she was. Sure, she'd looked sad when he'd told her everything that had happened to him in April, but back then it was tempered by intent. Again, he hadn't been collected enough to know it at the time, but looking back, he'd recognized the look on her face for what it was. She'd listened to every word he'd said without judgement or disgust, only sympathy, and once he'd finished, she'd begun putting that sympathy into action. She'd let him hide his face, because she knew what he was like. He'd lost weight the week before, so she'd tried to encourage him to eat in different ways, over and over, gently insistent without actually making him feel pressured.

  
He'd needed help telling her he loved her, so she'd given him one of her caretaker's beers to make it easier for him. And she'd looked sad then, too.

  
This was different. He'd seen her sad, but he'd never seen her unsure of herself.

  
It was hard to initiate. He had no aptitude for it, but he knew he had to try. "Is this, um. Do you just want to go back to being friends? Normal friends?" He wanted to inch closer, to take her hand again, but made himself stay where he was. "Because that's okay too. We don't have to... you know."

  
She straightened her back and shoulders and actually shook herself, just a little, as if the old Ann was coming back. The real Ann. "No. Sorry. I'm just weird tonight, I guess." She shone her smile at him, the one he always pictured her with, and squeezed his hand.

  
When she leaned over and kissed him, it was a little different than before. During their first kiss, he'd been a panicky mess - he'd barely been able to keep himself breathing, let alone reciprocate in any real way. She'd led him through that and everything else, a little impatient, maybe, but not uncaring. She knew what she wanted, that was all.

  
But it was on him, this time. Her head lay back against the couch, and now her posture was open like an invitation, but other than that, she seemed to be waiting for him. He carefully knelt over her and settled into her lap without ever taking his lips from hers.

  
Their first kiss - their very first kiss - had been hard and sloppy, all over the place. She'd led, and he'd followed, as she took him for herself. Now his face burned even as he laid slow, thorough kisses against her lips, slick with lip gloss. She seemed to hold herself back - Ann, of all people! He wouldn't have believed it if it weren't happening right in front of him - but in time, she relaxed beneath him and sighed into his mouth. Even as he'd straddled her, he'd kept some distance, just in case. Things were different now, and his brain made sure to remind him, and keep reminding him, that there was more than a chance that he'd gotten things wrong after all. But she made that little noise into his mouth and pulled him close, down into her lap, until they were pressed together tightly.

  
He felt her hands creep up his thighs and come to rest on his hips, caressing him there, and now his entire body was burning. He couldn't be called inexperienced any longer, not after the months he'd spent with Akira or the weeks he'd spent with her, but parts of him seemed to have forgotten that. Just a minute or two of kissing her and the touch of her fingertips to his hips, even through his clothing, left him ridiculously hard. It would've been embarrassing if it were anyone but Ann. Akira would have teased him mercilessly, and had in the past, but Ann seemed to understand. He suddenly remembered that the first time he'd spent the night, before they even really knew each other, he'd come in his pants like a stupid kid; her reaction was to both laugh in his face and immediately offer him ice cream, as if that fixed everything. She'd reassured him and given him a break outside her room to let him calm down, and when he was ready, she'd taken him by the hand and given him a second chance to get it right.

  
_I love you._

  
He left his hands where they were, one on her shoulder and the other between the nape of her neck and the couch, where the stray strands that always escaped her hair ties tickled his skin. She kept her hands moving, though, and that more than anything else told him how she was really feeling. Her kissing was tentative, for her, and she'd looked unsure of herself, but her hands slid up under his t-shirt, and cupped his ass, and pulled him even closer against herself, as if she could evaporate their clothing and cut to the part where they were skin to skin in her bed just by willing it.

  
She broke away, but it was only so that she could look at his face. "I really - " Then her eyes flicked down from his, and she cut herself off with a laugh. "You look pretty good in my lip gloss." She touched the pad of her thumb to his lips, a tickling sensation, and showed him: pink.

  
"Aw, shaddap." If he went back to kissing her, she couldn't tease him anymore, so he took her mouth back to teach her a lesson, giving her a little tongue for good measure. She sighed again and let him in.

  
Even now, after all the time he'd spent with Akira and with her, that hushed little noise was enough to undo him. His cock throbbed, pressed tight against his zipper, and he couldn't help it; the rest of him jolted forward too, spurred on by that noise, and he drove his mouth against hers hard enough to turn her face to the side a little. He could hear her breathing harder, her chest rising and falling against his, and without giving it a second thought he slid his hand down from her shoulder to her breast, squeezing it through the thin black tank she wore. He was aching now, hard enough to feel his pulse there, and when he felt her nipple like a pebble against his palm and realized she wasn't wearing a bra, he had to consciously stop himself from just closing his fingers around her and squeezing even harder.

  
That wasn't how he wanted to be with her. He was the one to pull away this time, panting. "I'm sorry, Ann." His face heated up even further, but he made himself meet her eyes. "I just. I guess I just missed you."

  
She gave him that smile again. There was nothing tentative or unsure about the way she was looking up at him through her lashes, her head still tipped back against the couch. "That's okay, honey." She finished what she'd been trying to say a moment ago, before she'd noticed her lip gloss on his lips. "I _really_ missed you."

  
He was still trying to recover from hearing her call him that when her hands slipped back out from under his shirt, where she'd laid her palms flat against his chest and belly, and started to unzip him. It was just like her to do that. It was just so _Ann_ to disarm him with that one little word, that name he suspected she didn't call anyone else, and then close in for the killing blow. The last time he'd heard it, they'd been fighting, and it hadn't felt fair then. It didn't feel fair now, either.

  
He hid his face between her neck and her waves of sweet smelling hair as she pulled him free. He could feel her lean forward against his shoulder for a moment and, when she let out a pleased hum, he realized it had been to get a better look. "You're so... " She trailed off. Whatever she thought he was, he'd never know, though it seemed to be something positive from the way she'd sounded. She traced her cool fingertips over his straining cock, pointed straight at her as if to betray him, and began to stroke him slowly, so slowly.

  
The noises he was making were humiliating. The knowledge that they were humiliating didn't help silence them one bit, either.

  
If he came here, all over both of their clothes, it would only be a fraction better than what had happened on his first visit here. But it was next to impossible to form words and send them to his mouth, because if he did that, she'd stop.

  
She knew what she was doing, though. Her fingers closed lightly over the head, feverishly hot against her cool skin, and he moaned right into her ear as she finally stilled her hand and just held him against her palm. "I, um. I have a present for you."

  
It took a moment for his brain to start up again. "Oh. Really? I do, too."

  
He made no motion to get up and fetch his bag, but that seemed to suit her fine. She grinned. "Me first." Now she did let him go, and he had to make a real effort to stop himself from simply replacing her hand with his own. He leaned forward again to lay a kiss on her neck and got up to stand in front of her.

  
They were both still fully clothed, more or less, but here he was with everything on display and pointing right at her. His face went hot again when he looked down and realized there was even a bead of precum at the tip. He started to stuff himself back into his pants, but she stopped him.

  
"Nooo," she protested, and there was real distress on her face. "Don't. I miss that, too." She darted forward and lapped him with her tongue, just enough to swipe away the droplet of precum before it could hit the floor.

  
Maybe this was his present. He spread his feet a little and reached out for her, prepared to rest his palm on the top of her head, but she was already pulling away and standing in front of him. He probably looked as stupid as he felt, because she took him by the hand and clarified. "It's in my room." She released him again almost immediately in order to pull her tank over her head as she led him there.

  
\----------

  
Mishima sat on her bed and watched her rummage beneath it; she had to drag out a few double handfuls of wrinkled clothing first before she finally unearthed a flat black box, about a foot long and two feet wide in size. "These are just camouflage," she said defensively, as if he'd dared to accuse her of having a messy room.

  
He grinned and put up his palms. "I didn't say anything... "

  
"Yeah, well." Ann squinted up at him in mock distrust. "I heard you _think_ it." She set the box on the floor - it apparently had some weight to it - and gestured with her chin at his clothes. "This is a naked present, by the way."

  
_What did THAT mean?_ He eyed the box warily as he shoved his pants and briefs to the floor and stepped out of them. He'd managed to calm down a little from before, when she'd held him in her hand, but she seemed to like the look of him anyway, half soft or not; by the time he finished yanking his shirt over his head, he caught her staring. Catching her doing it didn't make her stop, either.

  
"Missed you," was all she said. She must have really meant it, if she kept saying it.

  
The look on her face was a compliment if ever there was one, but he still felt a little self-conscious. "Shouldn't we both be naked... ?"

  
She finally pulled herself together and stood up again. "I _guess,"_ she huffed dramatically. "Nah, you're right." Her skirt and tights joined the growing pile of clothing on the floor without ceremony, but when she felt his gaze on her, she pulled down her black panties more slowly, making a little show out of it.

  
As if she needed the help. The time apart had turned her appearance in his memories of her fuzzy and indistinct, and on top of that, much of the time they'd spent together had been in the dark, or, when the lighting had been good, they'd spent their time pressed together, too close to see much. Even when he should have been able to get a good look at her, he'd felt panicky and rushed, always conscious of the hours ticking down until they'd have to part again.

  
She was curvier than he remembered, and he sometimes forgot just how tall she was. Her blonde hair cascaded down her chest, stopping just short of covering the swell of her breasts. Her -

  
He was really staring now. She'd actually put her hands on her hips and arched her back at him, cocking her hip to achieve the optimal angle, but now that he'd realized what he'd been doing, he couldn't go back to it. He covered his eyes with both hands and started laughing at himself, still sitting on the bed. "Sorry - "

  
The bed dipped as she approached, and after a second or two of her bare skin whispering against his, he realized that they'd reversed positions from before. Now she was straddling him, seated comfortably on his thighs. Her hand took his and gently pulled it away until he could see again. "I like it when you look at me, though."

  
He leaned back and propped himself up on his hands, then jumped when one of them struck something on the bed. "Oh - " It was the black box.

  
She bounced on his legs until his eyes widened, making her laugh at him. Clearly she'd meant what she'd said, or she wouldn't do that with her breasts a foot away from him. "Open it!"

  
It was a tangled mess, whatever it was. He picked it up in both hands, trying to make sense of it, and then something heavy and cherry red thunked back down into the box. He gaped at it. There was no mistaking its shape. This was definitely a naked sort of present, just as she'd said. So if _that_ was part of it, then these straps were -

  
She looked apologetic. "I guess maybe it's as much for me as it is for you."

  
It clicked when he held up the straps and noticed a round hole, around the same size as the width of the toy. "You want to - ?!"

  
She grinned, obviously enjoying the look on his face. "I mean. If you'll let me."

  
He probably didn't hide the disappointment he felt as well as he'd hoped. "You don't like it when we... ?"

  
She kissed it away. "Of course I do. I missed your superpower, too." Her hand crept into his lap and gave him a single stroke, as if to reassure him. "But, um. Remember when I helped you practice? For Akira?" He nodded. "Well, I guess I... I guess I liked that too. I thought we could just try it and see... ?" She lifted the straps and revealed a bottle of lube at the bottom of the box.

  
As if he'd tell her no.

  
It took a few minutes, but with his help, she finally stood proudly in front of him, hands on her hips and wearing nothing more than a huge grin and... the thing.

  
When she turned towards him, there was nowhere to hide. He flopped back onto the bed and covered his eyes with his forearm anyway. "Oh my god, Annnn... " he groaned.

  
He felt the mattress move as she crawled towards him. "You don't want to?"

  
Somehow just the look of the thing made him wish he could sink through the floor. His face was burning hot again. "I'm never - I can't look at you, ever again."

  
"Oh _really."_ He couldn't see her, but something about the tone of her voice made him think she was taking that as a challenge. The mattress moved again. "Luckily, you looking at me is not required." Her fingertips skimmed up his inner thigh, making him jump, and stopped just inches from his balls.

  
He kept his eyes covered and spread his legs.

  
She had to get up again to gather up the necessary items, but she was back in a moment with a towel for under his hips - "For the lube! God, Mishima, get over it already - " she said, and smacked his thigh when she saw what his face was doing beneath his forearm - as well as a condom to cover her fingers, and the small bottle.

  
He'd gone soft again in the interim. He jumped when he felt her simply take him into her mouth without warning - all of him at once, in this state - and ran her lips and tongue over him until she had him standing tall again. She left him wanting for the second time, but he knew she wasn't teasing him. By the time he'd noticed her absence, he heard her uncap the lube.

  
The first time she'd fingered him, it had been entirely her idea, too. She'd framed it as helping him practice for Akira, to help him get used to it before the two of them attempted the real thing, but now that he knew how much she'd wound up liking it, he wondered how much of that was true. This probably couldn't be framed as practice for Akira, at least.

  
Her fingers were already inside him and moving, a testament to how much more relaxed he was this time. The first time it had almost hurt, and he'd stayed stiff and uncomfortable for far longer. His traitor brain had kept running through scenarios to prepare himself for her disgust, and he'd almost asked Ann to stop so he could check the time and see if he'd at least be able to catch the last train if he had to. He'd felt at home with her by then, or he'd thought he had, but apparently that hadn't included something like this.

  
Of course he'd worried for nothing. Her face alone had told him how much she'd liked it, and the look of revulsion he'd been expecting as she cleaned him up afterward never came. This just doubly proved it - she wouldn't want to go back to it now, especially not before they did anything else, if she'd found anything distasteful about it.

  
"You keep telling me you missed me. Don't tell me you meant _this... "_ he joked. Now that he didn't have to see what she was wearing, he'd uncovered his face and stared at the ceiling instead.

  
"I mean. You think Ryuji would let me do this?" She was scissoring her fingers now, stretching him open. By now, Akira knew the level of pressure he liked best, and could get him ready in only a few minutes; by comparison, Ann was almost too gentle. Or maybe it was just the angle. He opened his mouth to direct her but she brushed against that spot inside him before he could speak, making his hips lift up off of the bed all on their own.

  
"U-uhm. Heh." He'd almost moaned out loud but managed to swallow it in time. "Yeah, you'll have to tell me sometime. About your weekend with him, I mean."

  
She zeroed in on that spot and brushed it with her fingertips. "Yeah, sometime." He risked a look at her face and met her eyes - she was staring at him intently, the tip of her tongue peeking out, trying to gauge her handiwork as she kept up a steady rhythm with her fingers. "Like this, right?"

  
"Yeah. I, um. I'm probably ready, actually." He'd tried not to look at the toy for too long, but the glance he'd gotten made him guess that it was smaller than Akira, at least. She withdrew her fingers slowly, and then he heard the cap again. "Lots - use lots, okay?"

  
"Got it."

  
She took the time to warm up the lube. Then she knelt over him and pressed in. Their eyes met, and they both tittered over the noises the lube made as she squelched into him. But she kept it up and sank inside.

  
"Ungh... fuck - "

  
"Bad?" She stopped immediately, only a few inches in.

  
"No, just... Keep going." It was different - well, of _course_ it was different. Akira was warm and had a lot more give to him than this stupid thing, that was for sure. But he hadn't lied. It really wasn't bad. And it was always sort of uncomfortable at this part, anyway. He focused on her face, just visible behind her hair hanging down towards him. She looked amped up, her eyes alight.

  
The tops of her thighs met the undersides of his. He smiled up at her and crossed his ankles behind her back. "You're bigger than I thought you'd be."

  
She hung her head low, enveloping him in her hair, and laughed breathlessly. She remained still, so it must have been out of excitement, rather than exertion. "Gotta keep up with my boys, right? You guys all seem to have so much fun with yours - "

  
"Aw. You know you can borrow mine anytime you want." He grabbed her hips, the straps there tight enough to dig into her flesh, and pulled her against him. He needed more. She understood and started to move, just shallowly inching in and out.

  
It was enough, though. That spot inside him didn't seem to care that she was an impostor. She brushed it on her way in and on her way out, and though he kept his mouth closed, there was no stopping the sound he made.

  
When he opened his eyes again, she looked almost hungry. She'd kept herself propped up on her hands but now she sank down to her elbows, blinding him with her hair again, and kissed him hard enough for him to feel the shape of her teeth behind her lips. "Can I?"

  
"Yeah." He canted his hips upward and offered himself to her. He whispered, "Fuck me, Ann."

  
She began to thrust in earnest.

  
He kept trying to compare it with the time he'd spent under Akira in the same position, but that was probably pointless. Akira left him feeling defenseless and overcome, as though what they did in his bedroom was an inevitability that he had no power to decide for or against, instead of something they both anticipated and planned for endlessly. Though maybe that had more to do with the little games of pretend they'd started engaging in, the ones that left him with stinging red skin and a head full of static.

  
It wasn't like that with Ann, although the noises she'd started to make were startlingly similar to Akira's, when he let himself make any at all. Little grunts of effort escaped her as she moved her hips forward, and now she wasn't just brushing that spot inside of him - she was stroking it outright as she filled him, and he realized that her face wasn't so different from Akira's, either. She almost looked anguished, with a furrow between her eyebrows and her lips parted as she panted above him, but he knew better.

  
He lifted his head and drew her back down against him with his mouth, and she moaned into him.

  
She took on a frenzied pace, her hips snapping into him now, and he could only hang on and focus on pulling in one ragged breath after another as she stretched him wide open and pounded him. His cock jabbed into her belly, but, if anything, she arched her back and pressed herself against it more, not less. Some kind of sound kept nagging at his attention, something on the periphery, and he finally realized that he'd been letting out pathetic little whimpers all the while. He stopped immediately, and she _laughed_ at him, deep in her throat, but he didn't get the impression that she felt disdain. Instead she opened her eyes and gave him a wolfish grin. He'd never seen her pupils this dilated before.

  
His orgasm mounted and receded, over and over, until he couldn't stand it. He was so close. His cock throbbed uselessly between them, slicking both her skin and his, but when he reached for it, she batted his hand away. Instead she closed the distance between the two of them and writhed over him, grinding into him below and onto him above at the same time. There was no time to warn her.

  
One more inch inside him and he came, a final embarrassing little noise between his lips before he was unable to register anything other than the sensation of himself pulsing, seemingly endless, as if there was nothing else. By the time he opened his eyes, she'd lifted herself up just enough for him to catch sight of the mess he'd made of her.

  
The undersides of her breasts were absolutely coated. He'd made her filthy. But he couldn't just leave her that way. He heard her breath catch as he raised his head and took her nipple into his mouth.

  
The look on her face was his reward as he kissed each droplet and made it disappear. He locked eyes with her and started to lap at her, letting her see it on his tongue before he sent it down his throat, ready for the next kiss. She moaned, shaky and desperate, and collapsed onto him before he was really finished, her hips giving him a single involuntary thrust. "Oh, _fuck,_ Yuki... "

  
They both froze.

  
He slipped his fingers in between the straps and her ass and squeezed her hard, enjoying the little tremor that travelled from her hips down to the toy still inside him as he did. He knew what she was thinking. "It's okay." He kissed her neck. "Please - please call me Yuki." As though they were finally being formally introduced.

  
No one called him that. When it had come up with Akira, that first night in Leblanc, his excuse had been that only his parents called him that, and that he preferred his last name, but it wasn't true. His parents didn't call him _anything._ For the most part, they spoke to him if he was in the same room, and if he wasn't in their line of sight, he wasn't spoken to at all. Either way, his name wasn't required. Aside from the odd time when his full name had been used by a teacher at school, usually for something administrative, the last time he'd heard his first name, more or less, was back in April, when Kamoshida had rolled it in his mouth like it belonged there. When he'd used his first name to claim him, and let everyone know it.

  
He shuddered beneath her, but it was only an old reflex. He could make the association if he tried, but it wasn't there on its own. The sharp edge had been blunted.

  
She breathed in his ear and did as he asked, doing her best to wear it out. "Yuki, Yuki, Yuki - " This was sort of like what he'd been doing with Akira after all, he suddenly realized. When Akira bore down on top of him and gave him little sips of pain, little servings that he knew he could handle, it was only superficially similar to what he'd felt in April. It wasn't _really_ the same. But it was still just close enough that he could feel one memory overtaking the other, and though the physical pain on the surface always shocked him, the dull throbbing hurt inside was a little less every time. This was like that.

  
Now, when she let those two short syllables fall from her lips, her voice was all he heard. "Yuki -" She kissed his jaw. "Yuki - " She reached out and stuck her fingers into his hair, tipping his face back so she could kiss his forehead. "Yuki - " She kissed him deeply, never mind what had just been on his tongue, and laid her full weight on top of him as the toy slowly slipped out below.

  
_I love you so much._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The softest pegging scene ever...


	30. "Make him happy for me."  Mixed feelings. Greedy.

Mishima watched her warily as she unrolled the condom from the toy, then tossed it into her wastebasket. But the look of disgust he was expecting wasn't there this time, either.

  
"Is - is 'Yuki' really okay?" she asked when he stood behind her, loosening her straps and catching them before they could hit the floor. She knew the reason. And she'd made sure to ask when his face couldn't be seen, because she was like that. She knew him, too.

  
He dropped the toy and its straps back into its box and crossed his arms around her waist, his face pressed to her neck. "Yeah." And it was. It was okay. "It's - I mean, if you can do _that_ to me, it's probably about time we were on a first name basis, anyway."

  
Ann laughed and hummed her agreement as his hands wandered higher, until he was forcibly reminded that she'd stopped him before he could finish cleaning her up. She seemed to anticipate him and rolled her hips back at him before he could pull away to find a tissue, grabbing his wrists and pulling him closer at the same time. "I don't care about that." She inched his hands back downward again, really just pointing him in the right direction, and he realized what she did care about.

  
"You're _so_ wet... " he breathed. He was in awe. He'd intended to only lightly trail his fingertip down her lips, to see how she liked it, but she was wet enough that his index finger slicked right inside without resistance, and his middle finger soon followed. She moaned, a guttural, wild sound from deep inside her, and rutted against his hand.

  
He hadn't even cleaned himself up yet, still uncomfortably sticky between his legs, and there was still cum drying on both his belly and hers - probably some had transferred from him to her back now, too. But she needed his help. He stretched out on his back on her bed, making sure to line himself up with the towel, and pulled her to him until she understood what he meant.

  
He felt so lucky to see her like this.

  
Even with his tongue inside her, it wasn't close enough for her. She trembled on top of him, face tipped all the way back up to the ceiling, as he drank her down and teased her folds. She started to grind herself against his mouth, panting needy little gasps, and he relented. It wouldn't be nice to keep her waiting. He smiled, unseen, and moved up to her clit.

  
Her noises had him hard all over again, to say nothing of the taste and smell of her overwhelming him. But he was going to finish what he started.

  
It had been so long that he'd almost forgotten what it felt like to lose himself under her. After weeks and weeks apart, the very first thing she'd done was to put him there, beneath her and at her mercy, and now, given the choice, he'd put himself right back there, offering all that he had to give. She towered over him, crying out with every movement of his tongue until her voice echoed back from the walls, and came.

  
He took her through it, never slowing, until she touched his hair as permission to stop. She let her eyes drift closed as one final shudder gripped her body, then opened them again to grace him with a tired smile.

  
"I love you."

  
His heart kicked in his chest and he cursed his own stupid mouth. He'd let his guard down and said it out loud this time, and now things would just be awkward. She already knew things were uneven between them, and he'd just managed to bring it back up again and remind her. He pictured how the rest of the evening would go now that he'd just obliterated the mood - really, he was picturing more painful spans of silence spent in front of the TV - and felt a lump form in his throat.

  
But she shifted position slightly, and the sensation of her soft skin against his face made him realize that it couldn't have been him. His mouth was still covered.

  
She lifted herself off of him and found her tissues, then took her time cleaning up the both of them. The silence stretched out, but no words came to him. He was frozen.

  
She picked up his limp arm and settled her face against his chest, then drew her thigh up and embraced him that way until his body finally let him move again. When he was able to turn his head to face her, his neck creaking after straining below her, she shone that smile at him. The one he'd been picturing her with for so long. She said it again. "I love you, Yuki."

  
This time he believed what he heard. "I love you, too."

  
\----------

  
Mishima had to help her into the shower. "I don't know how you guys do this all the time - "

  
He was only half there and had to really focus on what she was saying to follow along. "Are you okay?"

  
"Yeah, just - " Ann angled herself toward the hot water and started massaging the backs of her thighs and the muscles of her ass, right in front of him. He both loved how comfortable she was with him and envied her for it, too. If she'd ever felt ashamed of her body, even once, in her entire life, he didn't believe it. "Is this something you hit the gym for, or is it a practice thing, you think?"

  
He knelt down and took over for her so she could plant her palms against the shower wall, running his thumbs up and down her thighs and sinking his hands deep into her flesh as he enjoyed the view above his head. She probably thought he was the one doing her a favour. "Dunno, but. You better double up to be sure. Sakamoto can take you to the gym, and - " He squeezed her extra hard. " - you can work on your moves with me. Til you get your technique down pat."

  
She threw back her head and laughed, delighted. "Aw, I thought I did so good, too! You mean my technique needs work?" Her legs were shaky from exertion so she joined him on the floor, drawing her knees up and leaning back against the rear wall of the shower.

  
He couldn't pretend, not even as a joke. "No." He lifted her hair, dark blonde and heavy with water, and kissed her neck; then he simply left his face there as the hot water struck his skin. "You must've practiced."

  
The silence went on a beat too long.

  
"You did?!" He pictured her wearing the thing again, alone in her room this time, and slung his arm around her waist to pull her tight, laughing.

  
"On a pillow - "

  
"Aaaaagh - "

  
Her face was priceless, like she couldn't decide between making excuses and laughing with him. She was actually clenching her teeth even as the corners of her mouth turned up. "You - you got to have one your _whole life,_ okay? I just don't have the muscles for it yet - "

  
"I'm just teasing you. Come on." He remembered all the times she'd tortured him in the past and decided she probably deserved a little teasing by now. "You know. You're better than Akira in one way, at least."

  
"Even though I'm not as big?"

  
"That's - that's what I mean. I _like_ his, but - " He grinned sheepishly. "He sorta feels like he's rearranging my organs, when he really gets going."

  
"You too?" He couldn't tell if she was joking or not, which she must have picked up on. "No, really. I remember thinking that sometimes, when I was with him."

  
It was still funny, but it didn't feel fair to Akira to leave it like that. "I mean. I do like his. He's - he's careful with it."

  
"I know what you mean. Don't worry." She smirked. "Ryuji's, um. Less careful. Gotta train him up still."

  
He remembered what she'd said about how her very first time with Akira had gone and winced with sympathy pain. "Did he hurt you?"

  
She knew what he was thinking. "Not like that." Her eyes crinkled at the corners, as if she were laughing at herself. "I got impatient. I'm the one who should know better, not him."

  
Maybe the colour his face must be turning could be excused by the temperature of the water. "Is his... nice?"

  
He could never keep anything from her. She gave him a devilish grin but then visibly changed her mind and kept whatever she was going to say to herself. Instead she shifted position until she was kneeling between his spread knees and embraced him, leaning her chin on his shoulder and shielding him from the roar of the water. "You like him, huh?" she murmured.

  
His stomach flipped over and settled again as he realized she'd changed her position just so he could hide his face from her. Because she was like that. It made it a little easier to be honest. "Yeah. Since forever." The fact that Sakamoto was straight was obvious, so they left it unsaid.

He'd wondered, a little. It did seem suspicious that Sakamoto kept up his end of their chat when the topic was Akira just the same as he did when the topic was Ann. He hadn't shied away from any of the dirty talk, or photos, either, and had even complimented his. When he'd invited him over to read manga after going out for ramen, Mishima had tested it.

  
They'd sat on his couch, and when Sakamoto leaned close - very close - to show him a page, he'd let his hand rest on Sakamoto's thigh. Just lightly. He'd looked down at it and actually grinned at him, then picked up his hand and moved it for him like it was no big deal. Mishima had had a big apology ready but he'd just put his arm around his shoulders and pulled him even closer. Then they went back to their manga. Somehow, it hadn't even been awkward.  
  
"Thought you didn't know you liked boys, though. Until you met Akira."

  
"That doesn't mean anything. I liked him and just told myself I didn't. Him _and_ Akira."

  
"Aw." She stopped pressing him and answered his question. "Yeah. His is nice. I liked it, anyway. He's thick. And he's got this cute little freckle on the underside."

  
"He - he has - ?"

  
"Yeah, I know! That should _literally_ be 'where the sun don't shine', but - "

  
"So when did _that_ get there?"

  
"Dunno. We better ask him in our chat next time." She pulled back just enough to give him a quick smile and kissed him. Then she laid her face against his shoulder again. When she spoke, she kept her voice low. "You still win as far as aesthetic points go, though. Even though you don't have a freckle there."

  
He'd decided to stop comparing himself to Akira in that department long ago, because if he got himself started he could beat himself up all day about what he looked like, or, more accurately, didn't look like. It was simpler to take Akira's little appreciative looks at face value rather than assume they were false. This was just more of the same. But her efforts to reassure him were a nice thought anyway, even if they weren't technically necessary.

  
She mistook his silence for something else. "I'll stop seeing Ryuji." There was no hesitation in her voice.

  
He looked at her in surprise. "Oh, because now we're - are we? Are we dating now?"

  
He almost couldn't face her. The look she was giving him was too honest - it gave too much of herself away. She was beaming. "Will you be my boyfriend?"

  
"I'm a, um. I'm a _double_ boyfriend now."

  
She buried her face against his neck and drew the backs of her fingers up his thigh, the closest part she could reach. "Yup. I get to be a girlfriend now, too."

  
He wrapped her tightly in his arms and searched himself carefully for jealousy. But it wasn't there. "You should still hang out with him. If you want to, I mean."

  
Her voice was wry as she started to tease him. "Oh, Mishima - sorry, _Yuki._ Let's be clear. Do you mean I should hang out with him? Or do you mean I should _fuck_ him?"

  
She wasn't always vulgar, but it still made him laugh when she chose to bring it out. Sakamoto affected him the same way; maybe she'd gotten it from him. "Definitely the second one."

  
"How come?" She returned to his side and leaned her back against the rear wall of the shower again, knees drawn up to mirror his posture.

  
"You said he still needs training, right? Somebody's gotta do it."

  
Her eyes had turned serious again. "It could just be me and you. If you want it to be. Me and you, and you and Akira, I mean." They weren't empty words. She really meant it. It felt wrong to hold her entire span of possibilities with another person - with _any_ other person - in his hand and decide for her, but that was what she'd just asked him to do.

  
That was easy, though. "No. Make him happy for me." A new thought struck him. "You and Akira stopped spending time together because of me, right? Because you thought it wasn't fair to me while you and I were apart... ?" She nodded. "Ann, if we're all - if we're together now, do you want to?"

  
"With him? Akira?" She was thinking hard. "We keep joking about it in the chat, don't we. Akira and me."

  
"Yeah. He still talks about you all the time, too."

  
She quirked her mouth. "That's past stuff, though. Right? I kinda think that if he really wanted to start things up again, he'd have already said so. He might, um. He might have lost his taste for me. For girls, I mean."

  
It hadn't occurred to him that that was a possibility. His own attractions seemed to be split more or less equally, but he couldn't be sure about Akira. "Oh... does that happen?"

  
She shrugged and swiped her wet bangs up her forehead; the water kept dragging them back down into her eyes. "Dunno. Like, he talks about me in the chat still. About my ass or whatever. Saving the city. But it's you he's with, and it's Ryuji that he made a move on a week or two ago. That crossed wires thing, in - at Ryuji's house. So maybe Akira just wants to keep me feeling included in our - in our thing. Our arrangement."

  
Akira was thoughtful by nature, without having to try, so there was a chance she was right. He shrugged back and tucked it away for later consideration. "Well. Anyway. If it's Akira or Sakamoto, I don't mind. No, I - I _want_ you to. Like, if I can be with Akira and you, too, then I want you to be happy when I... when I can't be there." He thought of the long weeks apart, when he'd had Akira to take his mind off of her and she'd felt like she had no one, and felt his eyes prickle with tears. He reached out for her blindly as a strange wave of melancholy overtook him - a wave of feeling anchored to nothing. After all, he had everything he'd ever wanted now. He had more than he'd known there could be. When he remembered what it had sounded like when she finally said those words to him, the ones he hadn't let himself hope for, he did feel happy. But that lump in his throat was back, too.

  
Something must have shown on his face. She turned to him and kissed him gently. When she pulled her face away, her smile had a touch of sadness to it, too, as if he'd passed it on. "When you said I should come back - when you suggested I start things up with you again, last week... you said you saw me as more of a friend now. Remember?"

  
He had hoped she'd forgotten. "Yeah." He tried to smile. "I lied."

  
Her face twisted. She might have been crying; the water made it hard to tell. "All this time? You were still... ?"

  
"In love with you? Yeah. I was. Am." He took her hand. "When did you know?"

  
She didn't have to think for a second. She answered immediately. "That fight. When I had to tell you that I told Ryuji."

  
"Why would - "

  
"It felt - it felt like the end of the world. When I called you, and I heard your voice, you sounded so - " She swallowed thickly. "I've never felt that before. It didn't feel like that when I fought with you before, or when I've fought with Akira. We made up, and then I went home and thought about it, and. I just knew."

  
He couldn't bring himself to come up with a response, and she didn't seem to need one. He closed his eyes, rested his head against the wall, and laced his fingers with hers. They sat side by side, and, in time, the drum of the hot water against his skin and the thick air in his lungs brought him to a state somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. She started to touch him, then, little ticklish brushes against his ears, the tops of his feet, his ribs; he drifted, not stirring even when she started to move his limbs so she could reach what she couldn't before. It was like she needed to finally see all of him, every part that she might have missed before. She didn't discriminate, either. She spent just as much time playing with his foreskin and running her fingers through the hair just above it as she did tracing his collarbones and circling his calves with her fingers, as if measuring him. She started to use her mouth, too, and he felt her swipe water droplets from his chest with her lips and tongue. He was content to let her do as she wished.

  
He had no way of knowing how much she would have had to touch him before she would finally be satisfied because, as nice as her house was, it still didn't have an infinite supply of hot water. They stumbled back out of the shower, laughing and shivering, and huddled together in her big girly bed until they fell asleep.

  
\----------

  
Mishima was yanked back out of sleep by the growling of his stomach.

  
He tried to ignore it, for Ann's sake, but couldn't. He sat up in the dark and tried to remember where he'd left his phone. There was probably a 24 hour convenience store somewhere within walking distance if he looked it up.

  
Her arm snaked around his middle and pulled him back down in front of her. Then she hooked her thigh over his and locked him in place.

  
She was warm and soft enough behind him that if they hadn't skipped a meal, he'd have let her convince him. He rolled over to try to talk sense into her but was only met with a faceful of hair. "Ann - " He spat it out. _"Ann - "_

  
"Unh."

  
"Aren't you hungry?"

  
A long silence filled only with her breathing. Then, her hand released him and pointed at something beside the bed. "Top drawer."

  
She must have meant her nightstand. He fumbled with it and sorted through a number of unknown objects in the near-dark until he happened upon something wrapped in crinkly foil.

  
"Yeah, that."

  
He unwrapped it carefully by touch alone and broke off a square of chocolate. There was just enough ambient light from the streetlights outside through her closed blinds for him to make out her face. She opened her mouth but kept her eyes closed.

  
"Don't you want real food?" He sat up next to her and dropped the square into her mouth, then took one for himself.

  
The chocolate was starting to revive her. She inhaled deeply through her nose and stirred. "Chocolate is real food."

  
His stomach was absolutely gnawing at him now, encouraged by the taste of the chocolate. Now that she was awake, he wouldn't have to sneak away and find a convenience store, at least. He took another square and spoke with his mouth full. "I can make us something."

  
Her eyes popped open, and she leaned forward to lay a quick kiss on his thigh, a few inches in front of her face. "Is that my present? You brought us something to eat?"

  
Obviously she was as hungry as he was. "Nah. But I can make us something simple."

  
\----------

  
"Since when do you know how to cook?"

  
"Well, uh. I wouldn't say I know how." Mishima gave her a sheepish grin. "I watched one cooking video."

  
"Still better than me." Ann stood behind him at the stove and circled her arms around his waist, peering over his shoulder at the bowl in front of him. "What are you making?"

  
"Help me find the ingredients and I'll tell you."

  
She kept peppering him with questions, trying to tease it out of him as she pulled down bottles and boxes at his direction. He almost could have found them faster himself - apparently she really didn't have any experience cooking. "Which one's mirin?"

  
Even he knew this was basic stuff. "That one. I think."

  
She didn't even know how to wash rice. He walked her through it and poked his head into the fridge, pulling out eggs, scallions and sesame oil. "Is your caretaker going to mind if I use this stuff?"

  
She shrugged. "I'll tell her it was me."

  
It was just a quick meal, but he still felt a little proud as it came together. He'd made it enough times at home now that he didn't have to refer back to the video for the ingredient ratios. When he finally plated up the rice and egg stir fry, he tried not to laugh at the expression she was making.

  
"That smells _amazing."_

  
His face grew warm. "It's just simple. Don't expect too much."

  
She laid it on thick, complimenting his cooking skills until he suspected she was exaggerating. But she did eat her share in record time and went back for seconds, so maybe she actually was impressed. "You're really good at this! You could be a cook."

  
"Aw, it's not like it's Akira's curry or anything. He's the cook."

  
"He had Sojiro show him. You figured this out on your own." She took another bite and made a face to show him how delicious it was.

  
They washed the scant dishes together and went back to bed, each dressed in their pajamas. She favoured cute matching flannel pajamas, a look he wouldn't have expected if he hadn't seen her in them before. When he dug through his overnight bag to change, he finally remembered the present he'd brought her.

  
He'd used the explicit boys' love manga to break the ice on a previous visit, so he'd chosen this to escalate the joke, but they'd managed to break the ice all on their own this time. It seemed extra silly now, so he thrust the box into her hands without preamble. "Here."

  
The way her face went from confusion to shock to horror to indignation made him glad that he'd brought it, though. "Why would you think I'd - " She slapped wildly at his chest and shoulders until he took refuge behind her pillow.

  
"It's - it's an otome game - " He was laughing hard enough that it was difficult to get the words out.

  
"Yes I _know_ it's an otome game, fuck - "

  
"L-look - " He prized the game out of her clenched fingers and pointed to the back. "This one's special, you get to date eight guys at the same time - "

  
_"Why would you think I'd - "_

  
"I mean." He tensed, waiting for her reaction. He had no hope of keeping a straight face, so he didn't even try. "You've only got three guys right now. Two, really. If that's not enough for you, you can play this and - "

  
Her face was amazing. He wished he'd thought to bring out his phone so he could take her picture after giving her the game. She let out a truly awe-inspiring shriek of rage and tackled him on top of the bed until they both collapsed with laughter.

  
She pulled aside her mass of hair until she could see his face as she lay on top of him. "Well, I hope you didn't spend too much, because I don't even _have_ a PC. "

  
He hadn't expected her to actually be able to play it anyway. "Don't worry. Bargain bin." Her face lit up as she seemed to realize that he'd had to actually go into a store and be seen buying it, so he seized his chance to cut her off before she could start teasing him. He grabbed her ass and kissed her.

  
\----------

  
It was late, but after eating dinner and roughhousing, neither of them were tired anymore. They lay side by side in her bed with their knees drawn up, propped up with pillows, and finished off her chocolate.

  
She'd opened up her otome game and was flipping through the manual, where the character portraits were. "No glasses dude in this one."

  
"Yeah, sorry. No short guys either."

  
It was cute, the way she kept remembering that she was supposed to be mad. Her face never stayed that way for long, though. "You are the _worst."_

  
"Yup."

  
"So you seriously - you went down to Akihabara, or wherever, and you picked this out and rolled up to the clerk, and - "

  
"Me?! I should be asking _you_ about your brand new _appendage - "_

  
"Oh, my shiny red cock, you mean?" She lowered her knees and sat up straight, her hands on her hips as she mimicked the pose she'd made the last time she'd worn it, until he couldn't stand to look at her anymore and hid his face against her neck.

  
_"Yes -_ uggggh, Ann - "

  
"You mean you don't like it? You sure came hard, for not liking it - "

  
"That was just - you had your - " She always managed to turn the tables on him, somehow. He pulled away and tried to frown at her as he got the words out. "Did _you_ roll up to the clerk with that thing in your hands?"

  
He felt vindicated. She actually looked a little embarrassed. It wasn't a look he got to see often. "Well. No. I may have had a little help." His face must have given away his confusion, because she continued. "Akira owed me a favour."

  
"He - ?!" He gaped at her. The smugness left him as quickly as it had arrived. He'd never felt so betrayed. "Was it _his_ idea?!"

  
"No. Mine. But I couldn't get up the courage to go and buy it." She smirked. "When I told him I was thinking about it he charged out and bought it _that_ day. Wouldn't let me pay him back for it, either."

  
"God, the clerk probably thought he was buying it for _himself - "_

  
She laughed, pleased. "Probably! They should really card better at that store, huh?"

  
It was too much. He sank forward until he was bent double and buried his face into the covers. _"You're_ the worst." But then he remembered a conversation he'd had with Akira about the same adult store that he'd visited for Ann. "Yeah, um. I guess they didn't ID him the other time he went there, either."

  
"Well, they must have known he wasn't there for himself when he bought me that toy a while back, when we were still together. The one in that photo Ryuji sent you."

  
He'd actually been thinking of the lube that Akira had been using on him for the last several weeks, since they'd first started taking things in that direction. "Oh, right." He straightened up. "Why would he buy that for you, when he could just have you over and... ?"

  
She shrugged. "I think he likes toys. Or like, he liked the idea of me having them? Maybe?"

  
Things had taken an interesting turn. "Them?"

  
She knew exactly what he was thinking. She grinned and got out of bed so she could rummage underneath it again.

  
Akira had been generous, considering the fact that he and Ann had only been involved for a few months. Mishima picked them up carefully and turned them over in his hands as his face went hot. With Akira's encouragement, he'd started to look at porn again in the safety of his bedroom after avoiding it for years, afraid to admit what he liked even to himself. As he'd grown more comfortable, they'd even begun to share recommendations back and forth; Akira teased him for his preferences - that went without saying - but he knew there was no real judgement there.

  
So of course he was at least a little familiar with the items in Ann's shoebox. But it still felt strange to hold them in his hands. "This is the one from that photo?" It was heavy and made of hard plastic, and somewhere between his size and Akira's.

  
She wrinkled her nose. "Yeah. Not my fave." She reached out and picked up a pink bullet vibe with a long wire and control switch attached. "This one's more my style."

  
"It's so small though - "

  
She laughed at him like she always did. "It doesn't go _inside._ I mean, I guess it could, but. I use it up against my clit."

  
As much as he liked the mental image she was giving him, he had a more important question. "You just keep all this stuff in your room? Aren't you afraid your parents will... ?"

  
She dropped the vibrator back in the box with a clunk and got up again to put it away. "Nah. They, um. They leave me be." Her voice had gone very quiet. She got back into bed.

  
He turned off the light and rolled over to hold her. "Mine too."

  
She pressed herself against him until they couldn't be any closer. "Yeah, like... when Ryuji was here - when he spent the night last weekend, he texted his mom around dinner time. So she wouldn't worry where he was." She let out a short laugh. "I mean, he _lied,_ of course. Told her he was spending the night at Akira's. But still." She sounded solemn again. "I bet it's nice, to have someone to worry about you."

  
He knew what she meant. "Yeah." He smiled against the back of her neck. "I used to go over to his house all the time a few years ago. Middle school. His mom was always - she was nice." He couldn't help but make the comparison. "My mom - I mean. I only had him over to my place once." It had gone poorly enough that he hadn't asked for permission to have a friend over since. Not that it was something that came up all the time.

  
"Akira told me that he sees you in the red light district at night." There was an unspoken question in the air between them.

  
"That's just for the Phan-site."

  
"Sure, but. Your parents? They don't care that you're out there with all the drunks, and the, the host clubs, or whatever? The drug dealers?"

  
"Nope. They don't." There was nothing else to say about it.

  
She sighed and let a long silence spool out. When she spoke again, she sounded hesitant. "Would it be weird if we took our clothes off again? I don't want - you know - I just want - "

  
It was strange to hear that from her. She was supposed to be the confident one. Or at least, self-assured. "No. Not weird." They sat up in the dark and shuffled out of their pajamas, then returned to their previous position. He slung his arm around her middle but otherwise left a few inches between them until she wriggled back against him, skin to skin. If she'd wanted to lay like this with him at the beginning of their evening together, he'd have been in real trouble, but since they'd already gotten that out of the way, he was able to simply enjoy how soft and warm she was.

  
She must have been more comfortable like this, and, just as she'd said, she didn't seem to have any ulterior motives. Back when they'd spent the night with Akira, she'd asked the two of them to spend time naked with her too, just like this. He pressed his thighs to the backs of hers and stroked her skin with his thumb.

  
He'd started to zone out, lost in the sound of her breathing just in front of him, when she spoke up again. She had to drag each word out with what sounded like a great effort. "I, um. I think I'm being greedy."

  
"Greedy how?"

  
"I... isn't that it? Nobody else has to go after three guys at once. Two. Whatever. Everybody else just... pairs off."

  
"If you're greedy, then so am I. So's Akira. Or, he was."

  
She made a frustrated noise. "You're - you're _supposed_ to. To want it that much. I'm not." Her voice sounded strained. "Isn't that why you guys say all that stuff about me? You call me a, a jizz monster, you say you all have to take turns with me to keep me _satisfied,_ because - because I'm a slut."

  
His breath caught in his throat at the word. He'd never connected that word to her in his mind, not once. "You're _not,_ though." He desperately wished he were as articulate as Akira, not for the first time and not for the last. He'd just have to do his best in his absence. "When - when I say that stuff, it's just to tease you. It's just. I don't mean it like that."

  
Her breathing had picked up in front of him, but she was otherwise silent.

  
"Ann, when I say that stuff - it's because I, um." He hoped she wouldn't take it the wrong way. "I like thinking of you with them. Sakamoto. Akira." He pulled her tight for a second, then released her. "I think Akira thinks of it like that, too. And I like that you're so... " He needed to choose his words carefully. "I like that you like it. You, um. You like - you like to - " He still couldn't say it, even now. " - you know, and you can just say it. You just go right out and tell me what you want, and. And that's sort of why I say that stuff."

  
Maybe she didn't understand him yet. She didn't say a word.

  
"Okay, so. It's not like I know from experience. But most girls don't talk like that. I think. I bet they don't just say what they want. So I think me and Sakamoto - Akira - say that stuff because we - well, I do it because I admire it. I admire how you can just... like what you like. We do that whole saving the city thing because it's funny, but really, when I say that stuff, it's because... " More of the answer came to him as he stumbled over his words. "Ann, I like making you happy. I like the idea of you with Sakamoto when I'm over at Akira's on the weekend. And I guess I like - I like that I have you in common with them. It's like locker room talk - like when guys brag over how far they got, or whatever - but it's. It's _nice,_ instead. Like. I mean it in a nice way, at least."

  
He grimaced. He'd never tried to arrange it into words in his own thoughts, let alone out loud, so he doubted she felt any better to hear him stammer out a bunch of nonsense.

  
But her voice sounded a little less strained. "Do you guys just mean it like you're bragging to each other?"

  
_"Yes."_ They were getting closer to the truth of it. "It's. It's like a compliment to you, and a compliment to them, too. It's like... " His words were starting to run out again. He kissed the nape of her neck to give himself a moment to think. "I feel really lucky. That's all. I think they do too."

  
She remained silent again, but now she clasped his wrist lightly with her fingertips, just holding him there.

  
Their group chats went quickly when they got going, and it was easy to get swept up in what Akira and Sakamoto were saying. He wracked his brain, trying to remember how Ann had reacted to their 'save the city' discussion in their last group chat - he thought she'd taken it as good-natured teasing, but maybe he'd gotten it wrong. Calling his now-girlfriend a jizz monster was probably not the nicest nickname he could come up with, even if she'd started it. "I'm sorry. I won't do it anymore. I'll tell them not to, too."

  
She answered immediately. "No, don't."

  
"No, it's mean. I just didn't realize it at first."

  
"If it's nice - if you mean it in a nice way - then I don't mind it." He'd drawn his shoulders up to his ears without knowing it, but they relaxed when he heard the smile in her voice. Maybe he'd gotten through to her after all. "It _is_ kinda funny. And Ryuji told me he likes chatting with you guys. The dirty talk. He said he feels included, now."

  
"Aw."

  
There was a longer pause again. When she spoke again, she sounded more thoughtful than sad. "Maybe it's not me being greedy, then. Maybe it's just... me being lonely."

  
He laid his palm against her soft, flat belly and waited for her to keep going.

  
"My house - my house is so empty. And before Akira came, my class was so empty, too. It _felt_ empty, I mean, and. I wasn't close with Ryuji anymore. I had Shiho, until - until I didn't. You know." Of course he did. "I - it was all just. Empty. Nobody talked to me. They'd rather gossip about me instead. Make up shit about who I was sleeping with. Even the other models, the ones I'd see all the time, they just. They just think I'm 'that foreigner bitch'. I couldn't talk to them, either. I had no one."

  
That same wave of melancholy that had struck him in the shower was back. It wasn't like the dull thudding ache he'd felt in the past, when he'd forced himself to return to the volleyball team, day after day; instead, it was mingled with the brighter, coppery happiness that he'd been buzzing with ever since she'd told him she loved him, leaving him with a strange tangled mess of feelings. He smiled against her neck even as the lump in his throat returned. "I know, Ann."

  
"You said your parents... ?"

  
"Yeah. I, um. Maybe we're the same. My house is like that. Even when my parents are home." He breathed in the scent of her hair and held her tighter, until he realized his fingers were digging in; then he let her go. "And. Until Akira came, I had no one too." It felt more naked to put it into words than it did to show himself to her actually naked, even when all the lights were on. "So then... when me and Akira started... and then when _you_ and me started... "

  
She nodded in front of him, waiting for him.

  
"It's like... I have to grab at it. Every chance. And then, when you left - even though I still had Akira, I still. I still missed you. I missed you so much." It was all fixed. He and Ann didn't have to be apart anymore. But maybe it hadn't sunk in yet. The lump in his throat threatened to choke his words entirely; as it was, his voice came out thin and raspy. "I get it, Ann. I don't want to be alone either."

  
It passed between them just as it had before, from one to the other, as if it left his fingertips and seeped into her skin. He heard her start to cry quietly in front of him, and he couldn't stand it any longer. The sound squeezed his chest until he was sick with it, sick with what he felt for her and had kept on feeling for her during all the time they'd spent apart. He sat up and flipped her over, a little rougher than he might have otherwise been, and kissed her, hard.

  
She gasped into his mouth as he lay on top of her, not reacting for a long moment. But then she kissed him back, much more softly than he had, and pressed her wet face to his shoulder.

  
He really hadn't been thinking. If he was being honest, he'd forgotten that they were both naked. He'd only meant to comfort her, or maybe to simply take back some of the hurt and tuck it away again. If he'd passed it to her, there was no reason that he couldn't take it back, after all. But now he might have given her the wrong idea. He closed his eyes in the dark out of relief when he felt her arms circle him at the waist and pull him tighter.

  
"How come we're crying, huh?" she whispered.

  
"Dunno." He laughed abruptly, the sound of it weird enough to his own ears that he cut it short. "Akira would give us a Nerd Fact about crying if he were here."

  
Her laugh sounded just as weird. "Yeah, something about the - the hormones released in the hypotenuse - "

  
He couldn't tell if she'd just said it to make him laugh or if she actually believed it. "God, Ann, the - the hypo _thalamus_ is in your brain. The hypotenuse is part of a triangle - "

  
She giggled against him, and he still couldn't tell. "You're the math guy, not me."

  
The strange sadness left him again as they laughed. He gave her some space, in case he'd made her feel pressured with his sudden advance, or what she could have interpreted as an advance, but she just pulled him back against her until she'd molded herself to his shape, her breasts soft against his back and her thighs pulled up tightly against his. She laid her face against the short hairs at the back of his neck and sighed. It wasn't long before they'd both fallen asleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the idea that Ann is self-assured enough about her own intelligence that she can pretend to be dumb about something in order to cheer Mishima up.


	31. Shitkicked. Handsiness. "How do you want it to be?"

It took Ryuji a long time to drag himself back up to consciousness. There was something weird about the angle of his neck, as though he'd managed to shove his pillow off the bed, and he felt hot. He usually slept in only his underwear, so when his hand twitched against his leg and felt denim, things just made less and less sense.

  
When he finally blinked away the bleariness in his eyes and saw white tiles and porcelain in front of him, bits and pieces of the night before started to come back to him.

  
"Aw, fuck... " His mouth tasted like absolute ass. His body didn't want to do what he told it to, but when he finally got himself together enough to grab the corner of the sink and pull himself up off the floor, he got a glimpse of the mess he'd left and flushed the toilet with a grimace. Apparently two whole whiskeys was past his limit.

  
Waking up on the floor of Leblanc's washroom and feeling like he'd been hit by a train was not exactly what he'd been picturing when Akira had invited him over for drinks last night - "Aw, _fuck - "_

  
_None_ of what had happened last night had been what he'd been picturing.

  
The mirror was unkind. He groaned and splashed cold water from the sink onto his face to avoid having to look at himself, then simply stuck his head under the faucet, resting his forehead on the bottom of the basin and stopping the drain until the water crept up past his eyelids and threatened to reach his nostrils. But the sludge in his brain refused to clear.

  
_You can't hide in the washroom forever, dumbass._

  
He shook the water from his hair, then grabbed the doorknob and held it, trying to psyche himself up.

  
"Ryuji?"

  
_"Shit - "_

  
Akira had just managed to shave a year off his life. Two, probably. He was grateful that he hadn't just barged in, because at the sound of Akira's voice he'd pulled up his fists, like he was in a dark alley in Shinjuku instead of Leblanc. At least he hadn't seen it.

  
"You alright?" Akira must have been right up against the door; he sounded real close. Ryuji realized he could see his dark shape through the frosted glass and gulped - he probably _had_ seen his stupid fucking fight stance. But he felt a little better when he realized Akira sounded as shitkicked as he did.

  
"Y-yeah - " He opened the door.

  
Suave Akira was nowhere to be seen. This was Fucked Akira. "Hey." His voice sounded like a pile of broken glass.

  
"Hey." It wasn't as if Ryuji sounded any better.

  
Akira took off his glasses and scrubbed his face with his hand, then went back to leaning against the doorframe, as if he couldn't stand upright without the extra support. "Sojiro's gonna be here soon. You're on mop duty."

  
"Huh?"

  
Talking must have been difficult for him. Akira grabbed his wrist and led him to the stairwell. "There," he pointed. "There, too."

  
He could've just dug a hole and buried himself right there. "Aw, fuck." Apparently that was what his brain defaulted to.

  
Akira dragged out the mop and bucket for him, but all Ryuji's fumbling managed to do was to knock it on its side with a clatter. The sound drove into his head like an ice pick right between his eyes, so he righted it and then left it alone. Instead he snatched up handfuls of paper towels from the washroom and attacked where he'd been sick until Akira nodded his approval and took him by the wrist again, this time leading him upstairs.

  
He hadn't even realized that he'd been shirtless all this time until he saw it lying on the couch. Just raising his arms to wrench it over his head hurt. He sank back down to the couch in a heap, his eyes already closed, but it looked like sleep wasn't in the cards.

  
"You two smell _terrible."_

  
Of course the fucking cat was here at ass o'clock in the morning.

  
Neither of them bothered to respond to Morgana, though Akira did come up behind Ryuji and nudged him in the centre of his back with his knee. "We gotta get up anyway."

  
He groaned.

  
"C'mon, let's go to the bathhouse before Sojiro gets here - "

  
He groaned louder.

  
"Ryuji, we both look like shit - come _on - "_ That knee was back between his shoulderblades, more insistent this time. Akira could be a real bastard sometimes.

  
_"Fine."_ He let gravity do most of the work, rolling off the couch and slamming to the floor on his hands and knees. The sound almost covered the much quieter noise of the front door being unlocked downstairs.

  
"See, now we took too long," Akira hissed. "Get your shoes on." He took Ryuji by the elbow and yanked him upright until he got his feet under him. Sometimes he forgot that Akira had some muscle to him after all - it just didn't show as much since he didn't favour the type of training that Ryuji did.

  
The movement cost them both, though. They clutched their heads in unison and shot each other matching sheepish grins. He took some comfort in the fact that Akira looked the way he felt.

  
They almost made it. Sojiro was in the back, loading produce into the fridge in the kitchen, and the door obscured his face. They slunk past, tiptoeing in huge, cartoonish movements, but he had sharp ears.

  
"Guys."

  
Busted.

  
"Get over here."

  
It was easy to look sorry when you already felt like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag.

  
Sojiro had the same look on his face that he did when they were hanging out in the cafe and he was trying to herd them upstairs without causing a scene. For some reason Ryuji seemed to get that look a lot more than the other Thieves. But instead of tearing into them, he slid two glasses of water and four aspirin across the countertop. "Take these first."

  
"Oh, _good morning,_ Boss - "

  
A quick slice at the air with the edge of his hand cut Ryuji off neatly. Sojiro didn't want to hear it. They downed the water and pills and made themselves scarce.

  
The bathhouse was already pretty full, but they managed to get showered and into the water without further incident, and they were even able to find enough space to sit side by side. The hot water sank in, and even the clamour of the other guys around them wasn't enough to keep him upright. His body sagged, then jerked back awake countless times, until Akira poked him in the shoulder.

  
"You're gonna drown. I don't know CPR."

  
"Yeah, well - " He turned to Akira, but couldn't keep his eyes open, even as he spoke. "If I drown then I don't gotta let my mom see me this way."

  
Akira's voice was starting to come back. "Sojiro already saw us. I guess you could stick around a while longer." Then he sounded sardonic, close to what Ryuji always thought of as his smirky voice, and now he knew for a fact that Akira was starting to feel better. "Although. You're just gonna hear all the same shit from Morgana that you'd hear from your mom, anyway."

  
He buried his face in his hands and groaned again.

  
Sojiro didn't let them escape back upstairs without comment. "Learn your lesson?" His voice was gruff, but Ryuji could have sworn there was a little dry humour under there somewhere. Like he was laughing at them on the inside. He was prepared to take another stab at looking apologetic for Sojiro's sake when his stomach flipped over. Something smelled... well, he couldn't say delicious. Nothing could possibly smell delicious in his current state. But it wasn't bad, either. His stomach quivered, undecided in the end.

  
Now there were two plates of curry on the countertop.

  
Akira was already seated and eating, apparently used to this treatment, but Ryuji hung back. The cafe was open but empty, but that still didn't mean any of that curry was meant for him.

  
"Eat it." Akira had his fingers around his wrist again, pulling him down to the seat in front of the second plate of curry. Ryuji couldn't figure out if this new handsiness was because he didn't feel talkative, hungover as he was, or if it had more to do with what had happened the night before. He decided to end that train of thought right there before it could get too far.

  
He let Akira lead him to the seat but left his spoon lying on the countertop.

  
"You're gonna make Sojiro feel bad if you don't eat his curry," Akira smirked, talking with his mouth full. Fucked Akira didn't seem to have the same manners that Suave Akira typically had, either. Or maybe that also had something to do with - _Nope. Not thinking about that._

  
"You know I like it. Usually. I just don't - " He held his stomach.

  
"Actually, it's pretty good for a hangover." Seeing the look Sojiro shot Akira, and the way said look wiped that grin right off his face, was enough to make Ryuji croak out a laugh and dig in.

  
Akira knew what he was talking about. The first bite woke up his stomach, and they didn't say another word until their plates were clean. Ryuji thanked Sojiro - Akira was too out of it to remember, he noticed - and trudged up the stairs after him.

  
The aspirin and curry were starting to make him feel more like himself again, though he was still feeling the effects of how little sleep he'd gotten. He yawned hugely, and Akira immediately did a 180 and headed back downstairs without a word. Ryuji sat on the couch and amused himself with trading glares with Morgana until he returned, two coffees in hand.

  
"Aw, that's what got me into this mess - "

  
"Just drink it. You'll feel better."

  
His was more cream and sugar than coffee, the only way he could tolerate it when he wasn't using it as a method to get whiskey down. Halfway through it, he was starting to feel pretty decent, actually. Of course, the less he had to focus on how he was feeling, the more he began to think about what had happened last night.

  
He met Akira's eyes. Akira seemed to be in the same boat.

  
Akira abruptly rose from the bed and looked over at the cat, giving himself a bath on the windowsill. "Morgana, how would you feel about spending some more time with Futaba today?"

  
"I'd _rather_ spend some time with Lady Ann - "

  
Ryuji grinned but said nothing. If Morgana only knew what Lady Ann got up to on the weekends, lately.

  
"Sorry. Ann's got company over today."

  
Morgana's cat features could be surprisingly expressive, sometimes. Ryuji didn't even try to hold in his laugh.

  
"You _owe_ me, Akira," Morgana muttered darkly over his shoulder, before disappearing out the window.

  
The room was too quiet now. If he looked up from the couch, there was only Akira to look at, so he tried to find something interesting at the bottom of his coffee cup.

  
Akira had always handled silence better than he could. Ryuji already knew he'd lose the battle, such as it was, so he changed the subject before it could get going. "How do you think it went? With Mishima and Ann?"

  
Akira lifted one shoulder lazily, then sat crosslegged and leaned back against the wall on top of his bed, still unmade. "I know they had a big fight a few days ago. And then Mishima told me they made up at school, but when he tried to take her out for coffee, she wouldn't go. Said she had a shoot."

  
"Did she?"

  
Another half shrug. "Dunno."

  
"Well, I ain't worried. She talked about him a lot, when I spent the night."

  
He always managed to do this thing with his glasses, like he could see you but you couldn't see him. "Did that bother you?" Akira asked carefully.

  
He shrugged himself, this time. He was more interested in what Akira thought, anyway. "Does it bother _you?_ Ann's just - you know, Ann - but Mishima's your boyfriend, man. Don't it bug you to share?"

  
Ryuji expected a smirk or a jab - some kind of deflection, at least. Instead Akira just gave him this big beautiful smile. He was just... happy. "Nope. I like it."

  
"I still don't get - "

  
" - how no one is jealous," Akira finished for him. "Right?"

  
He must have been more of a broken record than he thought. "Well. Yeah."

  
Now there was something like a hint of a smirk on his face. "You just answered yourself. How come you're not jealous when Ann's got you over but she keeps talking about Mishima?"

  
"Enh. That's different. We just got started. Those two got history." Then Ryuji remembered. "And - and you had him _first._ You guys had a thing goin' and then she just - she just wedged herself in there like she belonged. Right?"

  
Akira's eyebrows went real high as if he were just realizing it himself. "I mean, I guess - "

  
"So? How did that even work?"

  
Akira laughed, sounding a little baffled himself. "It just... did." He looked at the ceiling for a while, watching the dust motes go by. "I think it worked because I wanted Ann to be happy. I trust her. It's the same, now. If Mishima wants to spend the weekend at her place, it doesn't take anything away from me. You know? I'll still probably have him over next weekend, or the one after that." Now the smirk was back on his face and in his voice, too. "And. I get to hear allll about it. Nobody's hiding anything."

  
He needed to be sure of something. "You fucking Ann?"

  
"Nah. Not since that time I had both of them over, weeks and weeks ago. I might as well be, though. If I hear all the details, I practically am."

  
That was a weird way of putting it, but. Ryuji grinned. It sort of _was_ like that. "You sound like you got that one kink, where you loan out your wife. Husband, or whatever."

  
He caught Akira unawares. He flopped over on his side on the bed, completely graceless, and brayed laughter. "Oh _fuck_ yoooou - "

  
"Yeah, you can't deny it, man - "

  
_"I do not - "_

  
The opportunity presented itself, and Ryuji took it without a second thought. Akira's face was hidden behind the rumpled covers, and he was still laughing loudly enough that he couldn't hear him, so he was able to creep up undetected. He plucked Akira's glasses off with one hand - he'd gotten good at it by now - and slammed him in the face with his own pillow with the other. The indignant squawk Akira made was music to his ears.

  
"You _asshole - "_

  
"Truth hurts, don't it - "

  
He'd stayed standing at the side of the bed, so Akira had to roll over to reach him. Ryuji had gotten the upper hand last night, while they'd both been drunk, but sober, Akira was significantly faster than he was. He expected Akira to rear up on his knees and grapple with him that way, but sober, Akira was sneakier than he was, too. Instead he snaked himself forward on his belly and clutched the backs of Ryuji's thighs, then pulled him onto the bed. Unfortunately, despite all his cunning, Akira had not foreseen that this would make Ryuji trip over his own feet and bellyflop directly on top of him.

  
"The fuck are you even _doin' - "_ he teased, as soon as he could get the words out.

  
Akira made an exaggerated cry of distress, his face buried deep between Ryuji's chest and the covers, and kicked his feet futilely. But his back was shaking, like he was trying not to laugh.

  
"Actually, you're pretty comfy. Pretty good at ownin' yourself, too - "

  
Now Akira screamed quietly, muffled, and kicked harder, until Ryuji had to concentrate on dodging his feet. But his voice was jagging up and down with laughter, too. Finally Ryuji took pity on him and rolled off, Akira's glasses still safe between his fingers.

  
"Fuck, you're red."

  
He was gasping like they'd just gone running, too. "Gimme - gimme those - " He put his glasses back on and immediately handed them back to Ryuji. "If you're just going to get them all dirty, you can clean 'em for me, too."

  
"Yes, princess." Ryuji leaned back against the wall and stretched out his legs on top of the bed, then pulled up his t-shirt and tried to get the smudges off of the lenses.

  
He had his shirt pulled out taut, away from his body, when Akira stretched out perpendicular to him and settled his head down into his lap, out of sight between his skin and the fabric. Ryuji let out a harsh sigh in surprise and wrapped Akira's face in his shirt for a moment, thinking he'd laugh and roll away again, but when he lifted it up again, he was still there, blinking up at him.

[ ](https://imgur.com/9RcGKDc)

[ ](https://imgur.com/zQKqSuz)

Ryuji dropped his glasses onto Akira's belly. He could clean them himself. "This is how it's gonna be, huh?" He'd only meant the immediate situation, the one that, technically speaking, had the side of Akira's head touching his junk, but Akira seemed to be thinking about the bigger picture.

  
"How do you want it to be?" The smirk was gone. Akira had his serious face on again.

  
He'd known he couldn't avoid it forever. But that didn't mean he was prepared. He stared out across Akira's bedroom, trying to figure it out. Now it was quiet enough that he could pick out the undercurrent of noise from the cafe below - murmuring voices and the tiny ringing of a spoon against the inside of a coffee cup.

  
Akira gave him a break from the silence. "Maybe a better question would be, how much do you remember? From last night?"

  
That was almost as difficult to talk about. "I remember you're real shitty at wrestlin'."

  
"Yeah. You got me that time, too."

  
"And. Uh. Well, somethin' I _don't_ remember is how I wound up downstairs. Was I sleepin' on the couch, before that? Or?"

  
"Or," Akira agreed.

  
"So I was - I must've been in your. Your bed, then." He couldn't keep looking at him for long. Every time he glanced down to his lap, Akira had his eyes zeroed in on his face. No breaks.

  
"Yeah. You must've been." Akira was taking the middle road. He wasn't pushing, exactly, but he seemed to have as good of an idea of how much Ryuji remembered as Ryuji did himself. Akira was letting him take his time getting there, but Ryuji could tell he wasn't going to let him off the hook.

  
"Bet you got cold. You just needed somebody to warm you up," Ryuji joked.

  
"You _were_ pretty warm. We both had to take our shirts off, remember?"

  
He did. He did remember. "Yeah, and. I guess we were talkin' about sad shit. Some stuff about you and Mishima, and some stuff about me and my dad." What was really sad was that it was easier to bring that old shit up again than it was to admit out loud how last night had gone. But knowing that didn't change it.

  
"Yeah." Something about Akira's expression changed. It took Ryuji a moment to realize, since his face was sideways, but he heard it in his voice. Akira was trying to be kind. "You okay now? Any more... spaciness?"

  
"Nah." His face heated up, and the fact that there was no way that Akira could have missed it, close as he was, just made it even warmer. "I'm fine, man."

  
Akira tackled things from a different angle. Ryuji knew exactly what he was doing but appreciated it anyway. "So, um. You like our chat?"

  
He didn't realize how much he'd tensed up until Akira changed the subject to something else. Now he could relax. "You guys are all _filthy._ All _three_ of you."

  
They laughed, longer and louder than what he'd said warranted, and something about Akira's face, the way he looked when he was laughing, made Ryuji bring his hand up into his lap and start running his fingers through Akira's hair. Just like he had the night before. His hair was even softer now, still the slightest bit damp from the bathhouse.

  
Akira just let him do it without comment, and without staring him down, either. Now he kept his eyes on the corner of the ceiling, away from Ryuji's face. "Sorry if it's too much. The chat. I think me and Mishima get carried away, sometimes."

  
"Ann's no better. Fuckin' jizz monster."

  
Now Akira did flick his eyes back up to his, but it was okay this time. That smirk was back. "Sounds like you really went all out for her, last weekend."

  
"I mean, my life was at stake. I didn't - like, I fuckin' came on her instead of _in_ her, the first time - "

  
"Ooooh." Akira winced. "Rookie mistake - "

  
" - and she just about punched my lights out. So I had to pull out a special move."

  
"Too bad we weren't there. Me and Mishima. Sounds like she's getting dangerous again."

  
Ryuji grinned. "Yeah, whaddyou guys call it? Team meetup? Maybe we better have one of those. Make sure she's good n' filled up."

  
"For the sake of the city."

  
"Of course. It's a thankless job, but somebody's gotta do it."

  
Akira's eyes were back on him. "Think you'd be okay with that? Watching me and Mishima and... Ann?"

  
This topic wasn't as bad. He could meet Akira's eyes when he spoke, at least. "Bet he's been - " And even in this weird situation he'd found himself in, the dirty talk was still fun. He'd probably never get tired of it. He grinned again. " - bet he's been fuckin' her hard allll night. You guys said he's got a superpower? Maybe - maybe he can handle it all on his own, without our help." But that wasn't really what Akira had asked. "I, um. It don't make me jealous either, to think about them. I guess I like it too."

  
He played with Akira's hair, fluffing it up and letting it fall between his fingers. If his own hair had looked this nice when it was still black, he might've been tempted to let the blonde grow out again. But it had never been much to look at. Not like Akira's.

  
Akira's eyes were back again. They didn't accuse him of anything, but they weren't going to let him keep stalling, either. The silence multiplied, and this time, Akira waited for him to fill it.

  
He wasn't a coward. He was a lot of things, but not that. "I, um. I liked kissing you, man."

  
He liked this smile of his, too. It looked honest and pleased, not smirky and sly. They didn't need the joking or the dirty talk anymore, so they left it behind. "I liked kissing you too."

  
"It's seriously okay though? I'm not gonna make you and Mishima have a fight or somethin'? Cuz that's what Ann was all worked up over. She thought it'd be cheating. If she did that with him, I mean."

  
"Ryuji, believe me. Me and Mishima have talked this out. _To death."_

  
"What, about me? Or Ann?"

  
"Both."

  
"Why _me,_ though? I'm straight - "

  
"Yeah, _so_ straight, with your dick poking me in the head - "

  
Ryuji had some kind of excuse prepared on the tip of his tongue, some variant of what he'd said last night - 'that's just because I was thinking of Ann', something like that - but Akira was already doing something with his hands out of the corner of his eye. Fussing with his clothing. Ryuji turned his head, his eyes widening at the sight. "Oh."

  
Akira had gripped himself through his loose drawstring pants, just to show him he wasn't alone. Clearly what they were talking about had had an effect on him as well. He let himself go - apparently it had only been to demonstrate a point.

  
"Mishima was like that," Akira continued.

  
_What, hard? Probably, at some point_ \- "Huh?"

  
"He said he's a lot happier now that he just... admits what he likes. To himself, at least."

  
"Sure, but." He didn't have anything to follow it up with.

  
"Ryuji, I'm not - I'm not gonna hound you about it. Just. Leave your options open." But then his face crumpled, and he looked away again. "Um. Maybe that's not fair."

  
"What?"

  
"Like, maybe that's not fair of me to say. You, um." That timid voice of his from last night was back, and now Ryuji could see well enough to catch the expression that went along with it. "I hope you don't think I was trying to take advantage of you."

  
Suddenly they weren't talking about the kissing anymore. Not just the kissing, at least. It really hadn't occurred to him at the time, but in the light of day, there was a certain nasty thought that kept coming to mind. He didn't want to believe it, but it would make him feel better to hear Akira tell him himself. "Was the whiskey to relax me? Like Ann's beer, for Mishima?" They'd both gotten a lot drunker than Ann and Mishima had on a single beer each, he was willing to bet. The hurt in Akira's eyes was obvious, but Ryuji made himself finish. "Did you think I'd say no unless you - unless you got my guard down?"

  
_"No - "_

  
"Then?"

  
"Ryuji - no - " His mouth kept moving, but nothing else came out.

  
"I mean, you coulda had me over without it. I've stayed the night a couple times. We just played games n' read manga. Talked. It never - it never went that way, til the whiskey came out."

  
"That's - I didn't want you to feel like I was trying - like I was trying _anything,_ so that's why I kept drinking more, to catch up to you. It's not like I was - I didn't plan it." His face was red again. "I just wanted to see you, I guess, and, I already had it, and." Akira was blinking faster now, but he didn't look away. "I'm sorry."

  
That was enough. He'd already gotten all the sorries he wanted, and more, from Akira the night before. Judging by the fight they'd had a week or two ago, the one about crossed wires, Akira would apologize and apologize until he was blue in the face, so Ryuji cut him off before he could get going.

  
"Don't." Ryuji bent low, took his face in his hands and kissed him, just a quick one. It felt funny, since Akira was turned sideways, but it did the trick. No more apologies.

  
He suspected Akira remembered just as much as he did, but just in case, he dragged it all back out into the open. It felt fucking awful, like he'd stepped out onto thin air all over again, but he made himself do it. It was necessary, and he wasn't a coward. "That, um. That other stuff we did. Let's just - maybe we'll work back up to it again. I just want to go slower. If. If you still want to try things out, with me."

  
The relief was clear on his face. "Yeah. I do." But he seemed to need to get one more thing out. "Mishima and I talked it out - talked out whether we should invite you in - because that's what we do, in this thing we have with Ann. With you, now, I guess. That's how we make it not cheating. We talk everything out to death before anybody does _anything._ So that's why we talked about you. It's not like I talked about you with him because I was planning ahead of time to... to jump you, or whatever, okay? The whiskey was a huge fucking mistake, but it wasn't like I was trying to... "

  
"I get it. I get it!" Ryuji smiled, trying to let him know he understood. "I, um. I guess I'm really in, now, huh? If the invite was that dirty chat with you guys, when I was over at Ann's, then this was my - what, my initiation?"

  
Akira's expression changed all at once. This was something diabolical he was looking at, more Joker than anything else. His voice went low and dark. "That was _nothing._ Your initiation? You'll know it when you see it." He turned it off again just as suddenly, and gave him a big goofy grin instead. "I don't get it, though. How'd we wind up with three dudes and one girl - "

  
"Aw, that's _Ann's_ fault. If the three of us still aren't enough to save the city once a week, one of us is gonna have to start camping out in her closet every night - "

  
"Yeah. I mean. We're running out of options, here. We're gonna have to recruit Yusuke before long."

  
Ryuji's face must have been something to behold, because Akira laughed hard enough to roll right out of his lap and shake the entire bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, Yusuke will not be joining them lol


	32. Big plans. "Maybe you really are greedy." Nice-nice and mean-nice.

When Mishima woke again in the morning, grey light streaming through the closed blinds, it was because someone was touching him.

  
He groaned, loud, before he had full control of his mouth, and inhaled deeply through his nose as he stretched his legs. He felt another part of himself stretch and flex, too. "Hey... "

  
She just kept it up, playing with his foreskin and squeezing him at the base.

  
"You don't have to. It's just... " He couldn't say it. It was a subject that came up with some frequency when he stayed over at Akira's, and of course they laughed about it, but saying it in front of Ann was a different story. "It'll go away, I mean," he finished lamely.

  
She giggled in his ear, watching her hand move from over his shoulder. "What if I don't want it to go away? What if I've got big plans for it?"

  
To say that he was tempted would be the understatement of the year. But he had a few concerns to get out of the way first. "What - what time is it? Isn't your caretaker going to - ?"

  
Her fingers closed around him tightly for a second in surprise, making him gasp. "Knew I forgot to tell you something."

  
"What?"

  
"She booked a couple days off. We've got all day this time." Her hand started to move again.

  
As nice as that sounded - "I mean, I want to. But. We didn't even brush our teeth last night." He laughed and buried his face into the pillow. "My breath must be _awful."_

  
She let out a short, halfhearted laugh herself, like she was torn between making fun of him and agreeing. "Guess mine must be too, then." But her hand kept moving.

  
He rested his hand on hers, making her stop. "Let's, um. Let's get cleaned up, and then I can get you properly."

  
That laugh in his ear again, more teasing this time. "You'll _get_ me? Oooh - " She abruptly rolled over, all the way, until they were back to back. Not one step towards the bathroom, he noticed.

  
Maybe she didn't realize what she looked like. Maybe she knew exactly what she looked like. When he rolled over to see what the holdup was, he saw that she'd stretched one leg out straight, the one she was laying on, and bent the other, until her knee was hiked up above her waist in front of her. He could see _everything._

  
She was waiting for him.

  
He settled in behind her and moved her hair out of the way to kiss her neck. She sighed and, if he wasn't imagining things, her hips angled further back toward him, as if to cut to the chase.

  
"Guess you won't have to face my breath this way," he murmured, and reached between her legs from behind.

  
"Guess not," she agreed.

  
She felt different from this angle, so he was careful to go slow. His fingertip inched up and down, stroking her soft folds, until he felt them firm up with arousal and grow wet. He could hear her breathing, faster and louder, and now there was a hint of her voice beneath it, tiny hushed moans that were barely there. He abruptly took his finger back and clutched her in his hand, his palm taking on her slickness and his fingers pressing into the soft flesh around her clit, where the short hairs were. She let out such a broken, shuddering moan, shockingly loud in the nearly silent room, that he couldn't help it; his hips jumped forward until he realized he was pressing himself against her ass, starved for stimulation.

  
"I'm ready."

  
"But - " He finally slipped his finger inside. He couldn't curl it the way he knew she liked while he was behind her, but apparently she was right. "You're - yeah, you're really wet." It felt like he'd barely been doing anything at all, but she seemed to be ready to go.

  
She must have guessed at what he was thinking. "I like to look at you," she said, simply.

  
He squeezed her one more time and then pulled away long enough to slick himself with his saliva, just as she'd shown him. It took some maneuvering but at last he lined up and sank inside. Her wet heat swallowed him, inch by inch.

  
She sighed again. "That's - that's just what I wanted."

  
He couldn't see her, true, but there were still certain things he liked about this angle. Her back was arched away from him to help him inside, so when he skimmed his hand up her front, she felt impossibly taut. Just a long, smooth slope from her hip, to her soft belly, to her even softer breast. One was out of reach, but the one he could touch felt so inviting under his hand that he palmed it and rolled it upwards, over and over, while he grinded himself into her. He'd barely managed to appreciate her there last night, after all. He wasn't moving all that much, actually, really just reminding her he was there as he focused on her breast.

  
Patience was not one of her virtues. "I take it back. That's _not_ what I wanted." Her voice was teasing again, but that didn't mean she was joking, necessarily.

  
"Oh?" He grabbed her harder and pinched her nipple, just enough for her to make a cute little noise in response.

  
"You know what I really want." She laid her palm flat on the bed for leverage and drove her hips against his as hard as she could, until she'd moved them both backwards an inch or two.

  
Ann had gotten her way last night. Now it was his turn. He made his voice light and airy - what he thought of as a high society, fancy party sort of voice. "No, I suppose I don't. Terribly sorry." He skimmed his hand back down her curves until his fingertips brushed the hair she kept trimmed short.

  
"Yukiiii... " He grinned. She could sure whine when she wanted to.

  
"Hmm?" He started to move, but only enough for her to think she'd won for a second. When she realized what he was doing, she growled and clutched at the sheets in frustration. He drew his hips back, so slowly that his muscles trembled with the effort of keeping himself on course, until he felt her lips slick over the head of his cock, clinging to him as if she couldn't bear to let him go. Then he brought himself up against her, the lightest tickling sensation, and buried himself back inside, still trying to see just how slowly he could go before she throttled him.

  
She groaned, and not from satisfaction. "You can't like it this way _either - "_

  
"Just because you bought yourself one, doesn't make you an _expert."_ He made his move.

  
He dipped his index finger lower and borrowed some of her wetness from where his cock stretched her open, then brought it back up to her clit and stroked her in slow circles. At the same time, he slipped his thigh between hers and started grinding himself into her again, just short back and forth thrusts that teased them both.

  
A hushed little moan from in front of him told him he'd managed to convince her. He stroked her faster.

  
She was writhing against him now, keeping him on his toes as he tried to keep his finger where she liked it. Her noises directed him until he had her gasping and shivering against his touch, her voice weak. "Please - pleasepleaseplease - aw, fuck, please - " she whispered.

  
"Please what?" He kept stroking her in tight little circles but gave her a little more of himself at the same time. Now he pinned her in place with the heel of his hand, pressed tight to her lower belly, and rocked into her with an abrupt, harsh stroke, still not actually moving most of his length inside. He couldn't, not with any speed; he needed to keep his thigh pressed to hers to keep her from writhing away.

  
But her tone changed. It was enough. She wasn't exactly whispering anymore. Now every exhale carried with it a breathy moan, and when he noticed a strange sensation against his skin, he realized she'd propped the sole of her foot against the top of his thigh and was digging her toes into him for traction. Or maybe she was just curling her toes because of what he was doing to her. "Please don't stop - "

  
It wasn't as though he was unaffected. Every sound she made came dangerously close to convincing him to give it all up and simply plunge into her, burying every inch inside like they both so desperately wanted. But if he let himself think too hard about it, his voice would reveal it, and the game would be lost. "Are you close?"

  
"Yes - ahhhh, please - _please - "_ Like a chant, or a prayer.

  
He sped up his hand and gave her all of him, two slow, deep strokes, and suddenly she was there. If the way her voice changed, from breathy pleas to full volume cries, hadn't been enough to convince him, the way she felt would have. She squeezed him tight and pulsed around him as she cried out, gripping him as if to pull him deeper, and he finally simply pressed the heel of his hand to her warm skin above and snapped his hips into her below, the head of his cock hitting home over and over as he chased after her and came.

  
He pressed his face between her shoulderblades and groaned as he filled her.

  
Her muscles had stopped spasming, but he heard her long after. There was no rhythm to it anymore; she just let out a soft sigh or a moan here and there, as though, even motionless, he was still giving her something she liked. Or maybe her aftershocks continued much longer than his did. She finally hummed, satisfied, and straightened her upper leg to let it lay flat on the bed.

  
He was starting to go soft, but he knew better than to pull out. He stroked her skin with the side of his thumb and realized she was holding her breath as his cock slowly withdrew on its own, pulling some of his cum after it. She exhaled then, and pressed her hips back against him as though a second apart was too long, never mind the mess he must have left on her.

  
But she still didn't make a move towards the bathroom.

  
"Want to have a shower with me?" He smiled behind her. As fun as her bedroom was, her shower was getting to be his favourite place in her whole house.

  
She just made a dissatisfied noise - a verbal pout - as if that was an answer and flipped onto her belly, face pressed against her pillow and legs spread wide.

  
He reached out to touch her before he could register that he was doing it. "Oh, _Ann... "_ he breathed. For the third time he wished he had his phone handy, though this time it wasn't her face he wanted a picture of. But just before his fingers made contact, his rational mind butted in. "You're, um. You're a mess, though. Your sheets are gonna get - " To be honest, there was no 'gonna' about it; there were already a few darkened spots on the sheet between them.

  
She mumbled into her pillow, quickly cutting him off. "Don't care. I'll change 'em."

  
He kept his touch gentle, just tentative little brushes with his fingertips, in case she was sensitive. He certainly was. Her lips were puffy and dark with arousal, and she kicked off an astonishing amount of heat. When he curled his hand into a loose fist and nudged the backs of his fingers against her, she keened quietly and arched her back to give him better access.

  
He was shocked. "I just - you want _more?"_

  
She wiggled her ass at him, side to side, as if to entice him, but it just made him laugh.

  
"I mean, sorry to disappoint, but you just used me up - "

  
"Finger me, then," she demanded.

  
"Pushy! Who says you get more, huh?" They both knew how this was going to go. But they also both fell into the charade, the one where she'd have to bully him into doing something they both knew he was more than willing to do, as easily as breathing.

  
That ridiculous pouty tone was back, like she knew she was being unreasonable and leaned into it instead of trying to ask nicely. "Hmph!" More ass waving. "Finger meeee!"

  
He was comfortable, laying beside her, but he couldn't see her that well, so he got up and knelt between her spread legs. She let out a victorious hum, something like a spoiled rich girl laugh from an anime - "Hm hm hmm!" - which of course just cemented his resolve to tease her before letting her have what she wanted. But he took his time enjoying the view before he got to it.

  
Ann and Akira both complimented him on his 'superpower'. Not that he usually thought much of it either way. He'd never had anything to compare it to until he'd become involved with Akira, and though he could see why they noticed a difference, it had only ever been a nuisance, as far as he was concerned. Compliments were nice and all, but greater volume just meant more to clean up. But as he studied it leaking out of her, he had to admit that it was starting to grow on him.

  
Every fold of her _glistened_ with it. There was no other word for it. It was transparent there, but at the centre of her, there was a milky pool of it, opaque white. Even in the short time since he'd come inside her, it had started to leak out, coating a few inches of her thighs and ass. He finally touched her with both his thumbs, gently spreading her open again, and watched a fat drop trickle down to be lost in the hair she kept trimmed short.

  
"I wish you could see what I see... " he breathed.

  
"Yeah? You'll just have to describe it to me, then." Now that he was touching her again, she no longer sounded impatient.

  
He wondered if she actually wanted to hear about it for its own sake or if her real goal was to embarrass him. Dirty talk had always been her department, not his. But he did his best.

  
"You, um. You're _full._ I - I filled you up and _then_ some. I filled you up and now it's all leaking out, all over you... " He dipped only the very tip of his thumb into her, stroking her there until he heard her breath catch in her throat, and pulled it out again, along with a long loop of cum. She made another little noise when he wiped it unceremoniously on her thigh, next to where she was already sticky.

  
"Yeah?" Her voice was suspiciously shaky. It did wonders for his confidence.

  
"You said you wanted more, but." Inspiration struck. "Even if I could, I wouldn't be able to _fit._ You're, um. You're too... There's no room. I couldn't fit, not even an inch." His cock, sticky and worn out though it was, was starting to appreciate the view, but he doubted he'd be able to do much with it just yet, so he tried to ignore it.

  
"There's no room?"

  
"No. None."

  
"You'd better... you'd better _make_ some room, then," she murmured in a hushed tone.

  
He hoped her house had its own washing machine. This would make for an embarrassing walk to a laundromat.

  
He slicked his fingertip up and down alongside her clit, still large enough with arousal to be visible, until she sighed and twitched her hips, as though she wanted him to get on with it. He bit his lip and played with her folds for just a second or two more before he slowly, slowly plunged his finger inside.

  
The sound she made was incredible. What he'd been able to touch at first had started to grow cold, but now that he was displacing what had been left deep inside her, it was warm - hot, really. He sank his finger in, inch by inch, and watched it surge out in white waves around it. "Fuck... " he whispered.

  
She was absolutely covered in it now. "Give me more."

  
"Do you _need_ more?" He gently curled his finger, not moving it much, as his hand grew sticky.

  
"Yes." Her voice was fervent. She meant it.

  
Last night they'd talked about how she felt greedy, and she'd been upset at the time, but he decided that changing the context might be worth the risk of her misunderstanding him. "Maybe you really _are_ greedy. Here, I mean." He listened to the liquid sounds his finger made as his cum coated her, inside and out.

  
_"Yes - "_ Maybe she'd agree to anything, as long as he kept his finger moving.

  
He sped up, just a little, and grinned as she arched her back and moaned. He kept it up and squeezed the curve of her, around where her clit was, with his free hand. He'd only intended to touch her, nothing else, but watching her hips tremble upwards in response to his hand sent such a wave of arousal crashing through him that he knew he didn't need to stall any longer. "I made some room," he whispered. "Are you still feeling greedy? Do you need... more?"

  
Her hips twitched upward again, and her shaky sigh was all the response he got.

  
There was no need for further preparation. He rose onto his knees behind her, lined himself up and drove into her. It was overwhelming - there was still _more_ inside, more hot cum that flooded out and tried to stick them together. She was sobbing beneath him, sounding completely undone as he gripped her hips and gave her what she wanted. The sounds his cock made as it slicked in and out would have left him mortified if she wasn't nearly drowning them out - their skin slapped together, and he could hear as well as feel the fluid striking them both. He lowered his chest to her back and found her breast - it felt even heavier this way, hanging into his palm - and groped her until she sang out louder, her voice an unsteady, ragged thing that encouraged him nonetheless. Her clit was his next target, but he barely had time to find it before she was coming a second time. Hopefully she'd forgive him for abandoning it again just as quickly, because now he needed both hands to prop himself up for leverage. He gave her all of him in a short, hard stroke and relished how it changed the sound of her. Her quivering was too much for him and he came himself, her muscles drawing it all out of him and filling her right back up again.

  
Ann always got what she wanted.

  
She groaned, a deep rumble from her throat as he twitched inside her. In the silence, they both heard the sound of droplets pattering down to her sheets.

  
"God, your poor _bed,"_ he said, horrified.

  
She collapsed onto her belly, making him pull out of her all at once, and the wet smack of her saturated sheets against her slick skin just made her laugh. "My poor bed? More like, my poor - " She reached beneath herself and squeezed herself between her legs, just as he'd done before but much harder. She let out a little hiss between her teeth, but kept it up anyway.

  
"Aw. Too rough?" He sat on his heels behind her and stroked the bare skin of her outer thighs, then her hips. Everything else in sight was covered.

  
"No." She wriggled on the bed until she had turned over onto her back, facing him at last.

  
He loved seeing her like this, too. A pink blush covered her face, and a lazy smile curved her lips. She looked so satisfied.

  
"In fact, I... " She raised her eyebrows and looked away, as if contrite, but he saw right through her. She wasn't a bit sorry. "I kind of want more."

  
Apparently she wasn't as satisfied as he'd thought. "You're _kidding."_

  
She shook her head. "I'll go easy on you this time, though. Fetch me my - my toy chest. Heh."

  
If she moved a muscle, she'd just make things worse. It was already leaking out. He could actually see bubbles now, as though he'd - he laughed out loud at the thought and hooked his arm under her bed until he found her shoebox.

  
"What?"

  
He grinned and tensed, expecting payback. "You're all - it's all _bubbly_ now. I pictured Akira at Leblanc with his milk frother thing."

  
"Agggh - " But her eyes lit up. She found it just as funny as he did. "You guys were right." Now the contrite look was back, a little more convincing this time. "I _am_ the jizz monster."

  
"Yup. 'Fraid so." He held out the box for her. She plucked out her bullet vibe, and he set the box onto the floor before settling in next to her. "Show me your moves."

  
"Not much to show." She stretched every muscle, pointing her toes, and switched her toy on.

  
He was tired and blissed out, and it would have been easy to sink into the mattress while she tended to herself. But he wanted to help, so he curled around her on his side and played with her nipples until he had her sighing out loud all over again, just audible over the buzz of her toy.

  
Suddenly her body stiffened like a board and her face whipped to the side, pressed to her shoulder. Her noises were different this time, quieter than when he'd been inside her but still there. He waited until she opened her eyes and turned back to him, smiling again, before speaking in case he was interrupting her. "How do you not get caught every time? Akira was right - you do have a big mouth - "

  
She squealed indignantly before rolling against him, hugging him viciously. But she was laughing, too, a little breathlessly. "I don't sound like _that_ when I'm alone - Jesus, Mishima - " She kissed his neck in apology. "Sorry. Yuki, I mean."

  
"S'okay." He wrapped her in his arms, trying to ignore how cold and sticky certain parts of him felt. "You're done _now,_ though, right?"

  
"Think so." She laughed. "I think I just needed to make up for lost time."

  
"Oh, bullshit. You just had Sakamoto over _last week."_

  
"I meant the time without you, dummy."

  
It was tempting to hold her like that for longer, but parts of him were starting to feel positively congealed. "If we don't get into your shower we're gonna be glued together forever."

  
By the time they were both upright, him walking toward the bathroom and her outright running once she realized how much she was leaking, they were both shocked at just how much they'd managed to spread it. But the hot water did wonders.

\----------

  
After getting out of the shower and starting a load of laundry, they had most of a day to fill. Mishima stood in the centre of Ann's kitchen, one hand on his hip and the other rubbing his neck absentmindedly. "Akira gave me a problem," he declared after a moment's thought.

  
She came up behind him and moved the hand on his neck, kissing beneath it. "Yeah, I noticed. Still hurts?"

  
He hadn't realized that there was anything left to see after the last time he'd stayed the night at Akira's. That wasn't what he'd meant, anyway. "Oh - no - not really, I mean."

  
"He's such a _top._ God."

  
She'd managed to surprise him. He collapsed back against her, laughing hard. "He _is - "_

  
"Least, he thinks he is. He likes to be bullied a bit, sometimes, though."

  
This was news to him. "Oh?"

  
"Like. Pushed around a bit. Try it next time. Try - try shoving him down. Roughhousing, I guess."

  
He smiled to himself as she pulled him against her front and wrapped her arms around his middle. "Oh, we already do that. But it's more like he's doing all the, the shoving. And it's more like I let him win."

  
"Really? He's already got an ego, you don't need to let him win on _top_ of it - "

  
He'd considered keeping it to himself in the end. It probably came across as kind of weird. But he knew she'd understand, so he told her. "No, it's a game. I say something mean, or, like, I dare him. I tell him he can't make me, or whatever. And then he - he makes me. But not really. It's just pretend."

  
Her breath faltered for a moment. "You - what kind of game are you guys playing, exactly?"

  
It felt awkward to put a name to it, but it was probably necessary for her to get it. "Akira says it's S  & M? I guess? I don't really think it is, though. It's just. It's just being rough. And pretending to be mean."

  
_"Yuki - "_ She sounded absolutely blown away. "When did this happen?!" She led him to the couches in the living room. When he turned to face her again after sitting down, he had to laugh. Her eyes were sparkling, and she was hanging on his every word.

  
"Just after... well, just after that bad week I had. You know. Just after you left."

  
"Why _then?_ Akira - Akira should have been extra _nice_ to you, right after that." She leaned closer and he realized she actually looked a little angry, as if she wanted to defend him from Akira in the past.

  
"No, it's - it _is_ nice. In the end. It just looks mean from the outside." He grinned. "Like calling you a jizz monster. We mean it in a nice way. Really."

  
She made a fed up noise and cuffed him upside the head, but laughed herself. She pulled her knees to her chest and gripped her bare feet. Rather than get dressed, they'd both just thrown on the pajamas they'd barely worn the night before. "So how does he _make_ you, exactly?"

  
He scrunched up his face. He understood how Akira felt, now, but it was still a little disappointing. "He hit me, once, and that was the best one. But he won't do it anymore. He says he can't."

  
_"What?_ Like - ?" She lifted her hand and made a fist.

  
"No, no, like - " He raised his hand and slapped his own face, much more gently than Akira had.

  
"Jesus, you guys - " But she had something like an appraising look on her face, and he knew she was trying to imagine it. "And that feels _nice?"_

  
"Ugh. _Yes._ Fuck yes." He rolled his eyes for emphasis until she laughed and scooched in closer to him, hip to hip on the slippery leather couch.

  
Now her fingers were in his hair, playing with it and tugging it here and there as she always did, and he could have fallen asleep to it if he weren't sitting upright. "You, um. Do you want me to be like that? With you?" She slowly made a fist at the back of his head, pulling his hair tighter than she ever had before but also giving him a chance to tell her to stop, and even after everything they'd done in the last day or so, his cock stirred, tired but a little interested all the same.

  
He laughed breathlessly and hung his head from her hand until she was pulling on his hair even tighter. It was enough to make him forget her question altogether.

  
She let him go, gently, and wrapped her arm around his shoulders instead. She seemed to think he might be embarrassed to talk about it, so she leaned the side of her head against his, carefully looking forward. "I guess I mean, do you _need_ me to be like that? With you?"

  
But it wasn't embarrassing. After Ann had left, he'd actually forgotten how comfortable it was to just share things like this with someone. With - and he smiled wide, remembering it all over again - someone he loved, who loved him back.

  
"No. It's not like that. I don't - I don't see you like that, I guess. And Akira and I don't even do it that way every time. Most of the time we're just. You know. Nice-nice. Not mean-nice."

  
"We gotta expand your vocabulary - you can't call him slapping you _nice -"_

  
"I don't have words for it, then... And most of it isn't like that, anyway, since he won't do it again. It's more like he pretends to make me."

  
She already knew some of his preferences, from before she'd left their little arrangement. "He holds you down?"

  
"Yeah, and - heh. I think he's got a thing for fucking my face. That's his favourite."

  
She whipped her head to the side to look him straight on, her eyes and mouth round. "Oooh - "

  
"Yeah, yeah. 'Mmmf', 'oh bb', etcetera. I get it." He shoved her until she was laying on her side on the couch.

  
"You can't just tell me a thing like that and expect me to not _react - "_ She lay still, and her soft flannel pajamas looked inviting enough that he put his arms around her waist and rested his head on her hip.

  
"But - we're kinda. We're kinda stuck, I guess. Nothing got me like the slapping did, and he says he doesn't want to mark up my face, so." He pulled up his legs until the tops of his thighs were pressed against the soles of her feet. "Like, I still like it. It's still good, but."

  
She started to giggle, then, her hip and belly quaking beneath him enough to move his face. "What a - Yuki, what a problem to have, right?" She laughed harder. "'My boyfriend won't hit me anymore, wah wah, what should I do?' Right?"

  
"Oh, shut up." He reached under her top and pinched her until she made an outraged noise and wriggled away, letting his head fall to the couch with a thump. It was way too comfortable. He let his eyes close.

  
"It's just your face, right? He has a problem with hitting your face? You should - " She sounded inspired, suddenly. "You should just do, like. Spanking or something."

  
He frowned, his eyes still closed. "That doesn't even sound fun."

  
"Neither does getting slapped in the _face,_ geeze - "

  
"It has to hurt a bit, though, so it might not work." He smiled to himself and curled up on his side on the couch. "But I guess we could try it."

  
He felt what must have been her foot, poking him in the shoulder. "Are you _sleeping?"_

  
He shrugged her off. "Told you. Akira gave me a problem."

  
"What does him biting you have to do with you being sleepy - "

  
He fumbled above his head and found her leg, then hugged it to his chest and held it tight, still keeping his eyes closed. "I never said it was _that. You_ said that. I just meant that Akira's always pushing coffee at me, and now I can't get going without it."

  
Both of her hands were back in his hair again, pulling it one way, then the other, until he groaned happily. She laughed to hear it. "Let's - let's go for coffee, then. A coffee date."

  
It was different than before. They were a couple now. He killed time with his phone until she'd finished putting on her makeup, and they both got dressed. They hopped on the train and tried a cafe that was new to them both, one that he had found recommended online, and overstayed their welcome. Every chance he got, he held her hand, as if to make up for all the time spent apart - never mind that someone might see him doing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to the glue that keeps this fic together


	33. Pointless. "A universal truth." Monster of the week.

Mishima was checking his phone during the afternoon break on Monday when he received a chat notification.

  
RYUJI: free today?  
MISHIMA: After school? Think so.  
MISHIMA: I think I'm ramened out though.  
RYUJI: yeah, i'm broke af anyway.  
RYUJI: manga at my place?  
MISHIMA: Depends. Got anything other than shounen shit?  
RYUJI: oh, like you're so picky lol.  
RYUJI: if i bought the same shit you read my mom would have a stroke.  
MISHIMA: That's why it's on my harddrive and not on a shelf in my room, dumbass. :P  
RYUJI: well i got nothin else, man.  
MISHIMA: I'm just kidding. We can watch TV or something.

  
\----------

  
"Thought I smelled somethin' familiar."

  
"W-what?"

  
"That hoodie." Ryuji nodded at the grey hoodie Mishima was unzipping. "Akira's, right? Smells like his room."

  
"Coffee beans? Yeah." He held the front up to his face for a moment, covering all but his eyes, before shrugging out of it, leaving him in his thin uniform turtleneck. If Ryuji had seen Ann pull something like that, he'd have accused her of trying to be cute and told her to knock it off, because it wasn't working. But Mishima wasn't trying for anything. He hung it up in the entryway to Ryuji's apartment, then arranged his sneakers neatly on the floor. "He's mad that I don't wear a coat."

  
Ryuji shrugged. If he didn't want to wear a coat, that was his business. "Coke?"

  
"Sure. Thanks." He sat at the very end of the couch, a little stiffly.

  
Ryuji slipped one into Mishima's hand and took another can for himself, then sprawled out at the other end of the couch and took a pull. "That shit smells way better than it tastes. Coffee, I mean. I dunno how he stands it."

  
Mishima looked a bit more comfortable now. He twisted sideways to face Ryuji, keeping his can cupped between both hands, and grinned. "It's alright with a bunch of sugar in it. But black? I sort of think he just drinks it that way to look all manly. Like he's trying to impress Sakura, or something."

  
"Heh. Maybe. He kept it black but he dumped whiskey in it, last time I was over."

  
"Oooh, _extra_ manly. He's gonna pick up smoking from Sakura next - "

  
"Yeah, like fuckin'... fuckin' _cigars,_ or somethin' - "

  
It was good to see Mishima laughing. He kept himself wound tight at school, but in their chat and when he was over at Ryuji's, it was like he could finally relax.

  
Mishima drank from his can in polite little sips. "So, um. When was that? Were you at Leblanc while I was at Ann's on the weekend?"

  
"Yeah. We were both bored, so he said I should stay the night." He felt his face heat up and set his can on the floor so he could look away. "He didn't tell you about it?"

  
"Nah. I think he was working yesterday, and today I was chatting with Ann more, I guess."

  
"Oh." It was weird. He could talk about dirty shit all day long with Mishima in the chat, but face to face, it was a lot more awkward. Even getting things out in the open with Akira on Saturday night had been tense and uncomfortable, and that had been in the dark with two stiff drinks under his belt. In broad daylight, it felt nearly impossible. He abruptly laid down with his head on the arm of the couch, keeping his knees up to avoid kicking Mishima. Of course, it also kept his face hidden. "I, uh. I'm sure he'll tell you. But we sorta... did stuff. Too."

  
The couch shifted, and he could tell by Mishima's voice that he'd leaned a little closer. "Oh, what? What did you do?"

  
"I never drank before and I guess two was too much for me, 'n he had a good amount, too, and, like. I swear I didn't go there _for_ that. I've stayed over before, and nothin' happened _those_ times, but - " He was babbling.

  
"I'm not _mad,_ Sakamoto." There was a little laugh in his voice, as if to prove it. "You're in, remember? Akira and me talked all this out a long time ago."

  
"About me?" Akira had said as much, so it wasn't like it was a _surprise,_ but -

  
"Yeah. Just in case. When we started talking with you like that in our chat. Actually, even before that. You asked us for advice about starting things up with Ann and there was a chance it might go this way, so - "

  
"I'm _straight_ though, man. Why would you think there was a chance - "

  
Another shift from Mishima's end of the couch. Ryuji pictured him shrugging. "Dunno." Apparently that was all he was willing to say about it. The couch shifted again. Now his voice was even closer.

"Soooo? What happened?"

  
"Feels fuckin' weird to say it out loud to you. That I - that I made out with your boyfriend while I was drunk." There. It was out. Some of it, anyway. His knees still kept him out of sight, but he covered his eyes with his forearm anyway.

  
Mishima sounded _excited,_ if anything. "How'd it go?"

  
His first impulse was still to downplay it, to act like he didn't care either way. Or that it was a mistake. But if he was going to tell him, he might as well be honest. "Um. Good."

  
"Anything else happen?"

  
"Uh... " The words wouldn't come out. Any way he could come up with to say it sounded wrong to just put out into the air. His face was on fire.

  
"Tell me!" Ryuji uncovered his eyes when he felt Mishima's hands on him. Mishima was kneeling upright, peering down at him with his hands planted on Ryuji's knees. He must have set his Coke down at some point.

  
Ryuji groaned. "Man, don't make me say it out loud... " He covered his face with both hands instead.

  
Mishima was understanding, at least. "Open up our chat, then. Tell me that way."

  
This was getting stupid. "Fuck. If I can _do_ it, I can _say_ it. He, uh. He gave me head."

  
Stunned silence.

  
"Uh. I guess I did it back to him, too. For a bit."

  
More silence.

  
Ryuji finally moved his hands away and looked up. Mishima looked thrilled to death.

  
"That's _awesome - "_

  
"No it is _not_ fuckin' _awesome_ , man - "

  
Maybe he was starting to get it. He took his hands off of Ryuji's knees and sat back down at his end of the couch, out of sight again. "Why not?"

  
"He's _your_ goddamn boyfriend, first of all. _Plus_ I'm straight. And, like, that part didn't... it didn't go all that well."

  
Silence again. Ryuji finally got sick of waiting and opened his legs to look at him between them. Mishima was sitting with his knees drawn up to his chin, looking at him sideways. "Aw. You don't have to tell me then. If it was bad."

  
"It wasn't _bad._ I just. I should tell you. He's just gonna tell you anyway, right? Like, I don't think he's gonna try 'n hide it."

  
He'd started nodding his head before Ryuji was finished speaking. "Yeah, he'll tell me. Probably tonight. He's not gonna lie about it."

  
"Then I should just... " He let out a long breath. "Ugh. This is so hard."

  
Mishima sounded tentative. "You wanna... hear about me and Ann? First? Might make it easier to talk about you and Akira, after."

  
He'd just been thrown a lifeline. He clung to it. "Yeah, man. Tell me bout _your_ weekend." It was a lot easier to put a little leer into his voice when it wasn't about him.

  
Now Mishima's face was red. Ryuji closed his legs again so he wouldn't feel like he was being stared at. "She, um. She said she loves me."

  
It wasn't at all what he'd been expecting. "She - ?!" He surged to a sitting position and yanked Mishima into a hug. "That's _great,_ man - "

  
Mishima was pulled off balance and fell sideways into Ryuji's arms. "Whoa - " Ryuji wound up flat on his back, Mishima on his side on top of him. They both started laughing. "Sorry, did I elbow you - ?" He tried to sit up on his own side of the couch, but Ryuji pulled him back down.

  
"You're still fuckin' cold, man. C'mere."

  
"At least let me... " Mishima sat up just enough to pull his shirt back down, then wriggled around until he was lying face down on Ryuji's chest. Ryuji still had his knees up and apart, so Mishima left his legs between them. "There."

  
He slid his hands up under Mishima's shirt, leaving them at the small of his back. He was still like a block of ice from the walk to Ryuji's apartment from the train station. "Even with that hoodie on? You still get this cold?"

  
Mishima turned his face to the side, leaving his cheek pressed to Ryuji's chest. "Yeah. 'm always cold."

  
"If you wore a fuckin' _coat - "_

  
"Aw, don't _nag_ me. You sound like Akira - "

  
"I don't got enough Nerd Facts to sound like him."

  
He started laughing, still facing the back of the couch. "Ann says that too - about Akira - " He finally brought up his arms and laid them on either side of Ryuji.

  
Ryuji had never really thought about it before, but there was something nice about just feeling someone breathe against you. They both fell silent, long enough for him to start to feel warmer himself where Mishima had his face and chest pressed against him.

  
He cleared his throat, breaking the silence. "So, um. You still... you still love her too, right?"

  
He couldn't see his face very well, but it sounded like Mishima was still smiling. "Yeah. I do." He was silent a moment, thinking. "I, um. I sort've thought it would go away, by now. I wanted it to. But, yeah. I do."

  
Ryuji crossed his arms behind Mishima's back and held him tight in a bear hug. "Real happy for you." It was nothing but the truth. He remembered how Ann had looked on the same couch weeks and weeks ago, all torn up inside because she couldn't match how Mishima felt for her, and smiled too. It was like a happy ending.

  
"I feel like I'm _too_ lucky. Now I've got everything. Like, way more than most people get. Feels like something should go wrong, now."

  
"Nah. You deserve it."

  
Mishima's shoulders went stiff against him and he went quiet again, longer this time. When he spoke, his voice was low and careful. "After what happened to me, you mean?"

"Huh?"

  
"Ann told me. That she told you about, um. Me."

  
Playing dumb would be pointless. "Yeah. She did. Or, like. I just guessed."

  
His breathing had picked up a little. "How'd you know?"

  
"Aw, she's a real shitty actress. You know Ann. She didn't _say_ it, but I knew there was more. She looked like she was hidin' somethin', that's all."

  
"You didn't... You couldn't just tell? From me?" He was practically whispering now.

  
"I ain't _psychic,_ man - "

  
"I know I act weird. Sometimes." Something like bitterness had entered his voice. "I probably... I probably gave it away. I bet you knew before she told you. I bet I give it away to - to fucking _everybody."_

  
"No way." He wasn't good at this. "I never woulda known if I didn't know Ann so well. I just guessed there was more. And I didn't tell anybody. Don't worry." He uncrossed his arms and slid his warm palms up under Mishima's shirt again, trying to make up for all the words he should say but didn't know how to.

  
He could just see Mishima's eyes, staring at the back of the couch and blinking a little faster. "Um. When we went for ramen last week... and this... "

  
"This?"

  
_"This - "_ Mishima made a frustrated noise. He reached down and thumped the side of the couch with his hand. "Laying like this - hugging me or whatever - "

  
"Yeah?"

  
"Is this because you know? Or is this just... like, would this have happened if you didn't guess what happened to me?"

  
It hadn't even occurred to him that Mishima might've been thinking of it that way. Both his legs pulled in reflexively, pressing against Mishima's thighs before he realized what he'd done and relaxed them in a hurry. This was already a lot closer than they'd ever been for any real length of time. "Fuck no, man - I never - like. I'm not gonna treat you _different."_

  
"Maybe, um. Maybe you have been without knowing it."

  
"No way," he repeated. He barely had time to consider before the words were out of his mouth. "I tried to forget it."

  
"What?"

  
"Not in a mean way - like - fuck. Okay, um." He really was terrible at this. "You know my leg?"

  
Mishima twisted his head to the side as if he could see what was wrong with it through Ryuji's uniform pants. "Is it okay? Right now?"

  
"Yeah, fine, but - you know how pissed I was?" Just talking about it brought a little taste of it back to him, like it had never really left. Maybe it never would.

  
"We weren't really hanging out, then, but. I heard what happened. I can imagine how you must've felt."

  
"Yeah, I really - I really built that up. No more track team. No more college for me, not without a scholarship. Fuckin' outcast at school. So I built all that up into this nice little grudge. Kept it close. Like, it was good for some things. Kept me goin' for a while. But when things got good again - you know, when Akira came, 'n when, um, all that abuse shit got put on the news - "

  
Mishima nodded once, quickly.

  
" - well, it. It got hard to let go of it again." He grimaced. "S'fuckin' pointless. I got all this stuff goin' now - " He realized he was getting dangerously close to talking about the Phantom Thieves and tried to circle back around. " - like, things are _better,_ way better, but all that shit might as well've happened yesterday, the way I kept it up. So I just... lately I've been tryna just drop it."

  
"You - you _forgave_ him?"

  
"For all that shit he did to me? Hell no. But that don't mean I gotta keep it up, either. The, the grudge. It's better to just... stop thinkin' about it. It's better for _me,_ I mean. I don't give a shit about him, he can just fuckin' rot wherever he wound up. But, like - he don't _deserve_ me hatin' him. He ain't worth the effort." He slowly unclenched his fists.

  
He probably hadn't made a lot of sense. Mishima sounded like he was trying to figure it out. "So when Ann told you about me - "

  
"Like, yeah, I was pissed. Don't - don't think I don't _care,_ man. I'd've let him break the other fuckin' leg if I thought it woulda stopped him, later. For you and Suzui, and... If. If I'd known in time, I'd've... "

  
_Pointless._

  
Mishima swallowed with a click but said nothing.

  
"But. I mean. There's nothin' I can do about it. Hatin' him's not gonna take it back. So when I figured out what happened to you, I tried to put it outta my mind."

  
"You just... you pretended it hadn't happened?"

  
Watching his face was too awful. Ryuji shut his eyes.

  
"No. That's... that feels shitty. But I don't _try_ 'n think about it, either. If I do, it's just one more stupid grudge." He cleared his throat. He hadn't known that he was going to say all that. "If I'm just here with you, readin' manga or whatever, I'd rather think about that. Either you, or what we're doin'. Not what happened to you."

  
"I think I get it, then," Mishima mumbled.

  
"But, like. All that shit from April ain't why. You wanna know why I'm really doin' this?" He slid his palms an inch or two higher, up to Mishima's ribs.

  
"Yeah."

  
"The - the chat. Same with Akira. I want - I want to - " Even though Mishima wasn't looking at him, the words died in his throat. Akira could've said what he meant. Probably Ann, too, if it were her instead of him. But he didn't have the guts to say it. Maybe Mishima had had the right idea, suggesting they talk through chat messages instead. All he could do was trail off like an idiot.

  
"Our chat's usually just... bugging Ann. Or talking _about_ Ann, at least. Not... "

  
"F-forget the chat, then. I think I always wanted... this."

  
Mishima laughed suddenly. It felt good to hear it. "You always wanted a _hug,_ Sakamoto?"

  
It wasn't hard to laugh about it along with him. It was pretty fucking ridiculous. Even he could see it. "Maybe."

  
Mishima stopped laughing. "Oh, you're - that's really what you meant?"

  
"Yeah."

  
"Aw. I thought you were joking. Sorry." Mishima stretched out more fully against him, and Ryuji realized that he'd kept some of his weight on his knees all this time, angling his hips away. Now they were pressed together inch for inch. He moved his arms too, pulling his forearms in snug against Ryuji's sides. "There. Good?"

  
"Yeah. Good." He left one of his hands resting on Mishima's back, under his shirt, and brought the other up to his hair. Mishima closed his eyes. They stayed that way for a long time.

  
\----------

  
Mishima stirred a little. "You're _warm."_

  
"Heh. Ann calls me her furnace."

  
"Because she's always cold... ? Yeah, she's like me."

  
"Fuckin' right she is." Ryuji grinned. "Dirty little fuck. You give her what she wanted last weekend? Is the city safe?"

  
"What?! I'm not a - " Ryuji could feel his stomach muscles tense against his as he started laughing, loud. "You don't have to say it like _that - "_

  
"You, you told Ann that she should _embrace_ it, remember? Maybe you oughtta take your own advice - "

  
"What about _you?_ Mister Hardcore Trophy - "

  
"Aw, you're just jealous. You gotta step up your game if you want it back," he teased.

  
Mishima was still grinning, facing the back of the couch. "Uh, after what _you_ did? Think you'll stay the champion, Sakamoto."

  
"Hey, Mishima. I got a secret to tell you. A, a universal truth." He struggled beneath Mishima to sit up a few inches, just enough to reach his ear.

  
"What?" he whispered, angling his face closer.

  
"Ass tastes _gooood - "_

  
"Oh my _god - "_ Mishima squawked and buried his face into Ryuji's chest, killing himself laughing.

  
Ryuji played with his hair while he waited for him to stop. "Nah. Don't taste like anythin'."

  
"You're fucking _weird,_ Sakamoto."

  
"Sez you."

  
"Yeah. Sez me." He let his eyes fall shut as Ryuji messed up his hair. "Are you gonna tell me what you and Akira got up to? Why you said it didn't go well, I mean?"

  
"Uh. Guess I should." He exhaled slowly, trying to relax. It'd be better to tell Mishima his version before Akira could. He didn't think Akira would lie, exactly. But with how he'd come off that night, he wouldn't blame Akira for coming to a wrong conclusion or two, even if they had talked a lot of it out again in the morning.

  
Mishima gave him time to gather his thoughts.

  
"I, uh. Maybe now I see why Akira kept sayin' I was givin' him signals. The whiskey made me act weird."

  
"You, um. You kissed him first?"

  
"No, we went all out of order. I had two and I got all hot - "

  
"Oh, you're like me, then - "

  
"Yeah, Akira said that too. So I took off my shirt - "

  
"Mmhmmm." Mishima hummed happily.

  
"Sh-shut up, you - " He grabbed a fistful of Mishima's hair and tugged it, pretending to put a lot more force into it than he actually did. Mishima laughed and stopped interrupting. " - and then, uh. I forget what he was givin' me shit about. Or I was givin' him shit. I can't - _oh._ Oh fuck." It came back and hit him like a ton of bricks. "Oh _fuck,_ why did I _say_ that - "

  
Mishima slowly lifted his head and gave him an evil grin.

  
Ryuji groaned and said nothing. But there was no getting out of it.

  
"If you don't tell me nooow, Akira will tell me lateeer... " Mishima singsonged.

  
He knew it was the truth. "Akira said you've been asking for... what got me the hardcore trophy. What I did with Ann."

  
Now it was Mishima's turn to squirm. He mashed his face into Ryuji's t-shirt and wailed quietly, completely embarrassed.

  
Payback was sweet. Ryuji grinned and savoured it while he could.

  
Mishima wasn't about to show his face any time soon. "So what did _you_ say that was so bad?" he mumbled, directly into Ryuji's chest.

  
"I, uh. I was drunk, okay?"

  
"Yeah, I got that part."

  
"So I climbed on top of him on the bed - with my shirt off - and I grabbed him 'n sorta shook him - like this - " He laid his hands on Mishima's shoulders and left them there. " - 'n then I sat on him. And then. Like, I guess I was just tryna rub it in. I said, um. I said if he thought I was makin' him look bad, in front of _you,_ I mean, then I could... I could give him a lesson. On how to, uh. Keep you happy."

  
Mishima howled, still muffled. _"Why would you say that - "_

  
"I don't fuckin' know!"

  
Mishima started to laugh, sounding horrified. "You climbed on _top_ of Akira, and, and, you offered to _eat his ass - "_

  
"Offered? I practically _threatened_ to do it - "

  
" - so that, so that he'd... learn how to do it to _me?_ That doesn't even _make sense - "_

  
"I _know_ it don't make sense. And, and I didn't even realize it until he told me, but I had a fuckin' hardon the whole time - "

  
Mishima lifted his face an inch or two, just enough to slide his hands between his face and Ryuji's chest. "You are _killing_ me here - " He burst into wild, loopy laughter all over again, muffled behind his hands. "And you said all that before you even kissed _once?"_

  
"Yup. Akira started givin' me head after that, so, uh, I guess he musta taken all that as a signal."

  
"Of _course_ he did!"

  
"It's not like I know how this goes! How it's supposed to go!" He put his hands back where they'd been, one in Mishima's hair and one between his back and his shirt, and Mishima uncovered his face and faced the back of the couch again, still giggling a little. In the end, telling Mishima hadn't been so bad. Maybe just because Mishima had seemed more embarrassed to hear about it than he'd been to tell it. Embarrassing the shit out of him was always a bonus. For almost as long as he'd known him, he'd strived to find new ways to make him go red and make that anguished face. "You know, I never even _kissed_ anybody until a couple weeks ago."

  
"Ann?"

  
"Yeah."

  
"She told me you guys dated a year ago - "

  
"We didn't get that far, though."

  
Mishima smiled to himself. "So you climbed on top of Akira, and he finished you, and then you finished _him,_ and then you made out? I mean, yeah, that was a lot of weird stuff you said, but he can't have thought it was that bad if he gave you head after. Sounds like it went good to me."

  
There was still more to tell. He wasn't exactly looking forward to explaining how he'd felt that night. He'd described it to Akira, and then he'd gone home and had mulled it over in his head for a long time, alone in his room, but it still didn't quite make sense to him, either. "No. None of it went good. Except maybe the kissing."

  
Mishima said nothing, but moved his thumbs up and down Ryuji's sides, just an inch or two, as if to encourage him.

  
"I think... I think I can't do alcohol. I don't like it, I mean."

  
"I don't like how I acted last time I drank, either."

  
"Yeah, Akira told me you said that. For me it was like somebody else was driving? I guess? And I didn't... I didn't get to feel _anything._ Akira was - like, I'm sure he was doin' a good job. He looked pretty into it, so I bet he was. But it felt like he was doin' it to somebody else."

  
"Oh... " He had a feeling that Mishima was trying to figure out how to be tactful. He spoke carefully. "It wasn't like that for me. I still felt everything. I just, uh. I was mean. Weird. And it was too easy to say what I was thinking without meaning to."

  
"I had some of that. I don't think I woulda climbed on top of him and said all that shit if it weren't for the whiskey. But, like. I kept losin' time, like I was only _there_ half the time. And my hands felt like they belonged to somebody else too." He tried to remember what he and Akira had talked about after he'd started to feel more like himself. His stomach sank. "Ugh. I don't think I can blame it all on the whiskey, either."

  
"Maybe you just had a lot more than I did? I kept at it for a while, but - "

  
"No, I think it was... " He didn't have a name to put on it until more of his conversation in the dark with Akira came back to him. "Back in middle school, did I ever look zoned out to you?"

  
"Zoned out how?"

  
"Spacey, I guess."

  
Mishima was already nodding. "Yeah. Now I know what you mean."

  
_Shit._ "You do?"

  
"Yeah. Your, um. Your mom talked to me about it one time when I came over after school. Years ago. She asked me to look out for you."

  
"Aw, what?" His face felt hot again. At least Mishima wasn't looking at him. "That's so... ugh. Seriously?"

  
"She didn't... she didn't say much. She just asked me to let her know if you started looking... 'spacey'. That's what she called it, too. Or she said you might forget things that had just happened. That kind of thing."

  
He knew his mom must have meant well, but he still felt ashamed. Retroactively ashamed, maybe. "Did you ever have to tell her?"

  
"Just once."

  
"It, uh. It was shit with my dad," he mumbled.

  
"Yeah. I know." Mishima's voice was just as quiet.

  
He fell silent again, and Mishima stayed silent as well. But he started to move his hands again. He was stroking Ryuji's sides with his thumbs through his t-shirt. Just little up and down motions, back and forth.

  
"I thought I was done with all that, after my dad left, so I thought it was just - just the whiskey, but... "

  
"Did you tell Akira this?"

  
"Yeah. Some of it. I _had_ to, cuz he thought... aw. Akira thought I was scared of him, I think. He thought I didn't want it. You know." He winced as he remembered how Akira had sounded in the dark, like he was ashamed half to death. Akira had thought he had hurt him. And when they'd gone over it again in the light of day, Akira's face had matched what his voice had sounded like.

  
Mishima frowned. "You too, huh."

  
"We, uh, talked about that, too. You 'n him. Just a little." Ryuji grinned suddenly. "Since when are you into all this _kinky_ shit?"

  
He snorted. "It's not like we've got a... a _dungeon_ going, or something."

  
"Maybe one day though, huh?" This was much more interesting. "Bet you'd look real cute with a harness on... "

  
Mishima raised his head to give him a death glare, but could only keep it up for a few seconds before he ruined it by smiling and faced sideways again.

  
"Too much heavy shit. New topic," Ryuji announced. It wasn't as if he'd made some big plan to drag out all of each other's sad shit, but that was exactly what had happened.

  
Mishima sounded like he was ready for a different topic too. "Um. I know Ann's ass is our go to, but I think we've covered it by now."

  
"Hope you gave her a week's worth, man. She's gotta last til Saturday again."

  
He looked back up to give him a goofy grin. "She gave _me_ a week's worth - this time - "

  
"She gave _you_ a - what? What does _that_ mean?"

  
Mishima started blushing. Ryuji was able to track its progress down his face and neck and out to the tips of his ears. But his grin was wider than ever. He was even able to look Ryuji straight in the eye when he spoke. "Poor Ann. She's been feeling left out all this time."

  
"How could she feel _left out?_ She's got three dudes all over her - well, two, if her 'n Akira don't fuck anymore, but still - "

  
"No, I mean she's the only girl. In our... arrangement, or whatever you wanna call it."

  
"Okay, but... ?"

  
He'd never seen Mishima make this face at school, that was for sure. His eyes were lit up, and the grin he was giving him was looking less and less innocent. "She must've been jealous of our - of us _guys_ all along, because she went out and bought _herself_ a - a - "

  
"What, like that toy in that photo she sent you guys? She said Akira gave her that, though."

  
"Noooo, she - she - " He couldn't quite say it. He dropped his face back down and spoke directly into Ryuji's chest. "She bought something to use on _me."_

  
It finally clicked. _"Duuude,_ did she fuckin' _peg_ you?" Mishima nodded frantically, and Ryuji wrapped him in a bear hug again, arms and legs both this time, and rolled them side to side, howling with laughter. Now Mishima was laughing hard too. "She had the whole fuckin' setup? She - did she - ?" Without giving it a second thought, he thrust his hips up against Mishima, twice.

  
Mishima's grinned at him, his face covered in tears. "Y-yesss - " He collapsed back down against Ryuji's chest, giggling all over again.

  
"We, we got our little sex club, but she still got left out of _our_ club - "

  
"Yup, she couldn't take it anymore - "

  
"I bet it's just been eatin' her up inside, all this time - " Ryuji couldn't keep it together any longer and just let himself laugh and laugh. The mental image of Ann in that kind of get-up kept entering his head just when he thought he was done and set him off all over again.

  
When he was finally able to speak again, his voice was still shaky with laughter. "You know, man. We got a _real_ problem now."

  
Mishima looked at him, red-faced and teary-eyed but still grinning. "What?"

  
"She's. She's too fuckin' _powerful_ now. We gotta do a crossover episode."

  
"W-what?"

  
"You know, all the - all the heroes gotta come together in one episode and take on the - the jizz monster - "

  
"Come together, huh -"

  
"I mean, that's the _idea,_ right. That's how you - what'd you say before? That's how you lay the beast to rest."

  
"Okay, but. We keep _trying,_ but we never win for good. She's always back for more. She's like a... a monster of the week." Mishima looked like he was on the verge of losing it again himself. He was trying to keep a straight face, but his mouth kept twitching.

  
"Yeah, but now you guys got me! Three on one, we can do it!"

  
Ryuji's enthusiasm did Mishima in. He laid his head back down and laughed until he groaned. "No more... "

  
"Alright, alright." He smiled and moved his arms from where he'd left them wrapped tightly around Mishima's back, leaving his hands resting on his hips instead.

  
They both felt it move at the same time. Mishima was already almost upright in less than a second and would have leapt off of the couch entirely for good measure, but Ryuji caught him by the shoulders and pulled him back down. "I'm, I'm sorry - " He let Ryuji move him, but kept his hips angled away.

  
"For what?"

  
"What do you mean, _for what - "_

  
"Somethin' wrong?"

  
Mishima growled. "You're so - " He looked Ryuji in the eye for just a second, then looked away. He must have seen something that reassured him though, because he slowly relaxed against him. "You kept... you kept rubbing the edge of your belt against me. That's all," he mumbled. Now Ryuji could feel it pressing into his belly, above his belt this time.

  
"You mean it wasn't the idea of three on one versus Ann?"

  
"No - "

  
"Was it when you told me about her new... secret weapon?"

  
"No - "

  
"Maybe it was the idea of you wearin' a cute little harness - "

  
_"No - "_

  
He could've kept teasing him all day, so Ryuji gave him an ultimatum. "You better shut me up or I'll just keep goin'."

  
"Shut you up how?" He'd looked tense and panicky for a moment, when he'd assumed Ryuji would be angry with him. Now he just looked curious.

  
Ryuji grinned. "I mean. You got me trapped." He wiggled from side to side beneath Mishima, an inch to the left, then an inch to the right. "Can't get away."

  
"Oooh." He shifted his legs and propped himself up with his arms so that he could move closer. "You're right."

  
He put on a falsetto. "You'll be gentle, won't you, Mishima-kun?"

  
"Ugh. Only - only if you promise not to do _that_ again - "

  
"Deal."

  
Mishima closed his eyes and kissed him.

  
It was different than it had been with Ann, his first. Ann kissed like she was on a mission. Kissing was Point A, and everything else was Point B. He'd still liked it - it was still nice - and it seemed like she'd liked it too. Or at least, it seemed like she'd liked it after he'd done some reading on the subject and slowed down a bit. But he could still tell that it was a formality to her. Something to get through, not something to enjoy for its own sake.

  
It must not have been a girl thing, either, because kissing Mishima was different than kissing Akira, too. Maybe it was just the whiskey, with him. It wasn't like Ryuji had any other times with him to compare it with. But Akira had been almost forceful. He'd pressed his mouth to Ryuji's hard enough to move his head back, like none of it was enough for him. Ryuji had done his best to keep up, and he must have done okay, since Akira had actually complimented him afterward, but he could definitely see why Mishima and Ann had felt intimidated by him.

  
Mishima went slow. He was barely doing much more than brushing him with his lips until Ryuji stuck his warm hands up his shirt again and pulled him closer. Now he pressed harder, just a little, but he still kept his mouth closed. After debating it back and forth for a moment, Ryuji parted his lips for him and felt Mishima's tongue against his, just the tip of it. He tasted sweet, like the Coke he'd been drinking.

  
Mishima started slow, and he kept it that way. He led Ryuji, slow and steady, until Ryuji realized they were both breathing harder. He was so caught up in what was happening up by his face that it took him way too long to realize something else was going on, too. He started to feel warm, almost hot, and it finally occurred to him that he was hard himself, pulling tight the fabric of his briefs and uniform pants. He'd left his hands on Mishima's hips, and now he felt them dip low, then rise up again, over and over.

  
He let out a shaky groan into Mishima's mouth as he felt it and realized what he was doing at the same time. Mishima had kept on kissing him without missing a step, slipping his tongue into his mouth just as politely as he'd been drinking his Coke. At the same time he'd pressed the soft part of his thigh to Ryuji's cock and inched it upwards, then back downwards, agonizingly slowly. His cock was trapped between his leg and his pants without anywhere left to go, and Mishima just kept it up, a slow and steady pressure like his kissing. Like he knew where he wanted to go, just like Ann, but wanted to take his time getting there.

  
Well. Maybe what he was doing with his leg wasn't just like his kissing. Grinding his leg against him until he was stuck to his own underwear with precum and throbbing hard probably couldn't be considered polite, exactly.

  
Ryuji broke away. "Mm - hey - "

  
"Yeah?" Mishima had this funny grin. Almost devious, for him, at least.

  
It was a shame to see it get wiped off his face. "So, like. I _like_ it, but - "

  
Now he just looked stressed out all over again. Apologetic. Closer to his school face. "I thought - " He was already trying to get away again.

  
Ryuji laced his fingers at the small of Mishima's back and kept him there. "You're good, man."

  
He was propped up on his hands, his legs left between Ryuji's again, which just left the question hanging in the air. Mishima glanced down between them for a fraction of a second, where they were still pressed together, then brought his eyes back up. "Then... ?"

  
"I just - " Words were hard. It was easier to show him. He lunged half upright and gave him a quick kiss before laying back down. "I kinda want to slow down."

  
He looked so relieved that Ryuji kissed him again.

  
"Heh - " He was beet red so he laid on Ryuji's chest again, keeping his face turned towards the back of the couch. "You sure? I could do something for you." His fingers were back at Ryuji's sides, then underneath him, slipped between his tshirt and the couch. His voice went a little quieter. "I want to, I mean."

  
Ryuji had always bugged Mishima for being shy, but maybe he wasn't any better. It was easier for him, too, if he didn't have to look him in the eye. "Not today, man." He stuck his palms back up under Mishima's turtleneck, leaving them there to warm the small of his back. He smiled, remembering the term Ann had used when he'd had to turn down what she'd offered him, when he'd spent the night at her house. "Rain check?"

  
He snorted. "Yeah, I'll - I'll write up an IOU."

  
"Kay." They laid in silence again, but it wasn't bad. "You wanna stay for dinner?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) My husband called Mishima "that dirty fuck" once in hopes of teasing me but now I've immortalized it forever  
> 2) Ryuji must have heard "universal truth" somewhere but I don't think he knows what it means


	34. Couple shit. "Didn't you say you weren't jealous?" Pretending.

Staying for dinner turned into staying overnight. After his mom got home from her shift, she made such a fuss over Mishima that Ryuji decided to push his luck, not expecting a yes, since it was a schoolnight, but she agreed right away. Probably had something to do with all the friends he hadn't been having overnight over the last couple years. But his mom had always liked Mishima, of course.

  
"I think she likes you more 'n me, man."

  
"Yup. She's in love with me."

  
Ryuji flipped over on his bed, glaring down at Mishima on the floor of his bedroom. "I didn't say _that - "_

  
"Oh yeah? You didn't see the looks she was giving me in the kitchen - " He waggled his eyebrows.

  
"Fuck, don't be nasty - "

  
Mishima sat up and gave him the middle finger but tipped his head back and laughed at the same time. "You should see your face right now."

  
He slid from his bed down to the floor with Mishima, where he'd set him up with some blankets and a spare pillow, and punched him in the arm.

  
_"Hey - "_

  
"Don't be shitty then."

  
"You _know_ I'm kidding, Sakamoto. Geeze."

  
A knock at the door. "Lights out, guys."

  
Ryuji got up and opened the door just enough to kiss his mom on the cheek and say goodnight, carefully noting the snickers behind him. He flicked the lights off, leaving just the desk lamp, and gave Mishima a solid kick in the ass on his way back to his bed. Mishima just laughed again and sprawled out flat, then unbuttoned his uniform pants.

  
He caught Ryuji staring at him and stopped, looking spooked. They traded equally guilty looks.

  
Mishima had stayed the night all the time back in middle school, and they'd always just slept in their underwear, but maybe there were certain things to consider now.

  
Ryuji caught his eye and started to unbutton his own uniform pants, leading by example, and decided a compromise might be in order. "You want a tshirt to sleep in?"

  
"Yeah, sure." He sounded relieved. Ryuji tossed him an old, extra soft one from his drawer and shut off the lamp. They undressed in the dark.

  
It had been two years, more or less, since Mishima had stayed the night, but with the lights off, at least, it was like no time had passed. They whispered stupid jokes back and forth in the dark, and talked about manga, and teased each other about the slightest thing. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed it.

  
Some things had changed since middle school though, though. It wasn't that long before they'd circled around to a more recent topic.

  
"So you guys do couple shit now?"

  
"Huh?"

  
"You and Ann, I mean. Well, I guess you and Akira, too."

  
Mishima laughed quietly from the floor in the middle of the room, a few feet away. "Why would you wanna hear about _that?_ That's boring, if it's not you."

  
"Tell me anyway."

  
"Ann and me went for coffee yesterday. Close to her house, I mean, not at Akira's. And I made her dinner. And we just... sat around and talked. Ate chocolate."

  
Mishima was right. That actually was kind of boring. "And Akira? Same stuff?"

  
"Yeah. Coffee. Games with him and his cat. He actually - have you seen him do this? - he sets up a chair for Morgana, and tells him to pick a game, and he'll _do_ it - "

  
Now he had to pretend a little bit. "Yeah, Morgana's a smart kitty - "

  
"Wish I had one."

  
Ryuji didn't, since he'd experienced enough snark from Morgana to last him a lifetime, but kept that to himself. "So you guys just hang out? That's all it is?"

  
He could tell Mishima was grinning down there on the floor. He could hear it in his voice. "You're not gonna make me explain _that_ to you, are you? 'Sometimes, when two grownups love each other very much, they - '"

  
"I _know_ what you guys do. I meant other than that."

  
"Yeah. It's just. You know. Hanging out, when we're not doing... that."

  
He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting to hear, really. Something more than this, apparently.

  
Mishima flopped over on the floor and stretched, making a small noise as he did. "Why so many questions?"

  
"Just - just wondering."

  
That wasn't good enough. "About _what,_ though?"

  
"I guess I just... " It felt dumb to ask. Like he really did need the sex talk explained to him, or something. Almost as bad as that, anyway. "I don't get how it's different. That shit's all the same stuff me n' Ann did, when we weren't - and it's what you n' me do, now that we're hangin' out again. Me n' Akira, too."

  
"Ohhh." Mishima took on a knowing tone. "You're seriously - are you asking about the mushy stuff?"

  
He didn't actually know what he was asking anymore. "Maybe? Depends what you mean by mushy stuff."

  
"You're asking how it's different, right? Me and Akira kiss a lot, I guess."

  
"Well. You n' me... "

  
A long, awkward silence. Mishima picked things back up again with an effort. "That's different, though."

  
"How, though?"

  
"It just... feels different. I dunno." Mishima started to sound kind of defensive, like he was waiting for Ryuji to laugh at him. "We hold hands. And we say 'I love you'. Sometimes. I think Akira likes it more than Ann. She's kind of shy about it, still. Maybe just because it's new for her."

  
"Well, _that_ part's different for sure, then. "

  
"Well, yeah - "

  
Ryuji grinned in the dark. "That's gotta be the only thing Ann's shy about."

  
Mishima scoffed, then started to laugh, too loud, as he remembered something. He covered his mouth, trying to be quiet. "God, you don't even know - "

  
"Tell me, then!" he whispered. "I only got the one weekend with her. I mean, maybe a little bit before that, too, but. You gotta fill me in." He got comfortable on his side in his bed. "Only - we better be quiet. My mom's on shift tomorrow."

  
He'd given Mishima an old, plain white tshirt to wear over his underwear, and he could just make out the shape of him coming closer in the dark. He kept coming, too, walking on his knees, until he was right up close. He wound up sitting on his feet at the side of Ryuji's bed, leaning his chest against the mattress and resting his chin on top of his folded forearms.

  
Now he could whisper quietly and still be heard. "We wrecked her bed."

  
"Aw, what? Like - " Ryuji rapidly patted his mattress a few times, right next to Mishima, miming something. " - you guys collapsed it, or what?"

  
"No, like - " Even a foot away, it was too dark to see Mishima's face, but he hid it anyway. His voice wasn't all that shy, though. "Her sheets. You know what we call her?"

  
It took him a second to remember, outside the context of their chat. "Jizz monster?"

  
"Yeah... " He laughed quietly, clearly waiting for Ryuji to fill in some of the blanks for him.

  
"I was tellin' Akira that you must've filled her up good, yesterday. Hope you didn't make a liar outta me."

  
Now Mishima sounded just like he had on the couch a few hours before, like he was trying hard to sound devious. "Filled her up and then some." He ruined it by burying his face into his forearms and laughing again.

  
_What does THAT mean?_ "What, you - you came on her? She just about slugged me when I did that - "

  
"No - well, kinda - " He lowered his voice again. "She _asked_ for it. Maybe that's the difference. It was the morning, and I - we - " Even now, there were certain things he didn't like to say. " - like, I was behind her, and I made her come first, but she wanted _more."_

  
"Sounds like Ann."

  
"She - she wanted me to get it all over her. You know. She wanted - she kept saying stuff about how I better make room so I could fit it in again. Her bed got _so_ nasty - "

  
Ryuji grinned and reached out in the dark, finding his hair and rubbing it briskly to show he was kidding. "Dude, that don't _sound_ like you guys love each other. That sounds like porn shit to me."

  
He sort of huffed, like Ryuji was being stupid. "Who says you can't do that? If you're in love?"

  
_Shit._ He tried to sound apologetic."I didn't mean it, man. I don't - I don't know about this kind of thing. You know that."

  
Mishima reached forward in the dark and touched his bare upper arm, stretched out on top of the blankets, as if to tell him it was alright. Then he took his hand back and rested his chin on his folded forearms again.

  
It was sort of embarrassing to admit, but. "I kind of always thought I'd be getting to this stuff first. Before you. No offense."

  
He reached out again and shoved his shoulder, this time, taking his hand back just as quickly. But there was a smile in his voice when he answered. "Yeah. Sorry. I thought that too."

  
"I used to picture Ann being my girlfriend. In middle school. When I hung out with her more."

  
The thick silence made him wish he could take his words back.

  
Mishima stayed exactly where he was, close enough in the dark that he could feel his breath puffing on the hairs of his forearm every now and then, but it felt like he'd pulled away just the same, somehow. "Didn't you say you weren't jealous?" he asked, cautiously.

  
"Aw. Forget I said it, then. I'm not."

  
Mishima chose his words carefully. "Do you like her? More than... ?"

  
"Nah. I just. You know. We're friends." Their whole setup was confusing, though. They _weren't_ just friends. Friends didn't do what he and Ann, and Ann and the others, got up to on the weekends, typically. It wasn't even just that, though. He thought of his favourite time with Ann, the last time, when she'd tried to give him head and he'd been too sore to even finish. After, he'd held her close, as close as possible, and they'd talked about all the scary and embarrassing and goofy shit that came to mind, like nothing was out of bounds.

  
Even when they'd been closer friends in middle school, they'd never had talks like that.

  
"It really doesn't bug you? If Ann's my girlfriend?" Mishima sounded so solemn, like he wanted his blessing.

  
He didn't have to pretend. "Nope. Not a bit." He fumbled out his hand and found Mishima's arm in the dark again. "I mean - " Suddenly he realized why Mishima might really be asking that. _Uh oh._ "Are, uh. Are you guys exclusive now?"

  
He tensed up, waiting for the answer. If Ann and Mishima were going to be exclusive from now on, the weekend he'd spent at her house would be the first and the last.

  
But he'd worried for nothing. "No," Mishima answered quickly. He knew exactly what Ryuji had been thinking. "Like, she asked me if that's what I wanted, and - " He buried his face again and mumbled directly into his forearms. "I said, um. I said I want her to make you happy for me."

  
Ryuji was glad the lights were off. He had no idea what his face was doing. Probably something stupid. He cleared his throat and said nothing. It felt like he had to do _something,_ though. Suddenly he felt all nervous and fidgety. "You, uh. You cold?"

  
Mishima was looking at him again. He could just barely see the whites of his eyes. "Not too bad. Maybe a little." He shifted a little, still kneeling up against the mattress in front of him. "My legs, I guess."

  
Offering him another blanket or sweatpants or something would probably make more sense, but Ryuji was already sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

  
"Oh, are you going to the washroom - ?"

  
He got up, then knelt on the floor behind Mishima and touched his back. "Want me to warm you up?" Like it was a legit question and not some dumb excuse.

  
At least he didn't make him wait for an answer. "Okay. I - I am pretty cold."

  
Mishima had that tshirt on, but Ryuji'd just gone for his briefs and nothing else, like he always did at home. Mishima knelt upright, waiting, and slowly, still feeling all jumpy, Ryuji inched up to him from behind. He wrapped his arms around his middle and pulled him close until his feet were between Ryuji's spread thighs. Mishima hovered, more of his weight held up by his forearms on the bed than on Ryuji, but Ryuji kept pulling him closer and closer until his ass was settled right in his lap. He could hear him breathing, quick little sips of air that made him sound more nervous than he had when they'd actually been kissing and all over each other that afternoon.

  
"C'mere. You're - you really are cold." It wasn't a lie. Ryuji ran his palms over Mishima's thighs in front of him, where the tshirt didn't reach, and his arms, where he was covered in goosebumps.

  
He finally relaxed, one inch at a time, and Ryuji kept pulling him back, being gentle, until Mishima let go of the bed entirely and let his back touch Ryuji's bare chest. He laid his head back against Ryuji's shoulder, and let his palms rest on Ryuji's knees on either side of him. "How can you be so warm?" he whispered.

  
"Just lucky, I guess." He was being weird. It _felt_ weird. He'd never really put any of this into anything like a train of thought. And it wasn't like thinking about Mishima kept him up at night. But it had been the same for Ann, he realized - nothing like an actual plan of attack, set out clearly in his thoughts. Just little fragments of scenes, what-ifs where they were closer than they already were. Not even that often. Just sometimes, like when he was waiting for the train, or pretending to pay attention in class.

  
With Mishima it was even less often, and even less distinct. He hadn't even been picturing the two of them together at all until now - it was more like how seeing him cold made Ryuji want to warm him up. No sense of the future, or how things might change if he did something different. Just little feelings, more like instincts than anything he actually thought about on purpose.

  
Things probably would have stayed the same if Mishima hadn't started kissing him on the couch that afternoon. A hug was just a hug, and even that was more than Ryuji had ever pictured himself doing. He'd managed to surprise himself. But it felt good. Comfortable. Kissing him was scarier, but still not half as scary as it had been with Akira.

  
Akira could be kind of intense sometimes, but Mishima was just Mishima. Sometimes it felt like he'd known him forever. And the weight of him against his chest and legs felt just as comfortable as laying with him on the couch had.

  
Maybe Mishima didn't feel that way, though. Comfortable. One of the things they'd talked about on the couch, the thing that had to do with Mishima back in April, came to mind, as much as he didn't want to think about it.

  
Ryuji wrapped both arms around his middle again and rested his chin against his neck. "You okay?" he whispered.

  
"Yeah." He sank against Ryuji's chest the last little bit, his stomach and back muscles going slack, and sighed.

  
He still didn't have a plan. He just did what he felt like. He uncrossed his arms and laid one hand over Mishima's bare leg, his skin cool to the touch, and slid the other up his front, under the shirt, where he was warmer but still cooler than Ryuji's hands.

  
Ryuji slipped his hand a little higher, up and over his chest, until he happened upon something that made Mishima gasp. A tiny, hushed sound that he wouldn't have heard if he wasn't so close. His first impulse was to laugh at him, but instead he smiled in the dark.

  
Mishima was breathing a little louder now.

  
He found his nipple again and glanced his fingers over it, up and down, barely touching it. Without giving himself time to debate it one way or the other, he trailed his other hand over the top of Mishima's thigh, close to his knee, to a place a few inches further up and further in. He left it there, his palm on top and his fingers curved around Mishima's inner thigh, and stroked his skin with the side of his thumb.

  
A tiny noise from Mishima, and a little movement, barely noticeable. He was trying not to arch his back.

  
He was close enough to smell whatever Mishima used on his hair, something faint and pleasant, and something on his skin, too - maybe soap. He kept moving his fingers, now just laying his palm flat over as much of his chest as he could cover and focusing on his other hand. Slowly, listening to Mishima's breathing, he moved his hand up his inner thigh a little more, then a little more, until his thumb came up against fabric. The hem of his briefs. He played with it in the tiniest increments, letting his thumb run over first his skin, then the hem, then slipping just the tip of his thumb beneath it, keeping it up until Mishima started to squirm.

  
"Mmnh... "

  
Ryuji huffed a single laugh next to his ear and quit teasing him. Mostly, anyway. He found Mishima's nipple again, keeping his touch light, and moved his other hand. His calluses caught on the fabric a bit, making it rasp quietly as he finally brought his hand up and palmed the head of Mishima's cock through his briefs.

  
You'd think he'd hurt him, almost. Mishima breath whistled in his throat and he really did arch his back now, grinding the back of his head against Ryuji's shoulder, and his ass against his lap, and his cock against his hand, all at once. He must have been just dying to move before now. All that movement against him made him realize how hard he was himself, but he put it aside for the moment.

  
Ryuji squeezed his chest with one hand and his cock with the other, grinning with satisfaction at the noises he made. "Still green?"

  
_" ...huh?"_

  
He started to tease him again, now just resting the weight of his balls in his hand instead of touching him more directly, though he rubbed his fingertips back and forth, listening to the sound of his skin on the fabric. "These? You still got a thing for green?"

  
Mishima sounded _pissed._ Ryuji pictured his face and it just made him want to do it even more. "Y-yeah - so what - "

  
He kept his fingers moving, little whispery movements in the dark. "You must be Irish or somethin'."

  
Mishima sounded more agreeable, since it seemed like Ryuji was going to keep his hand going, even if it was only to cup him through his briefs. "Yup. I'm - I'm a rare - "

  
"A rare O'Mishima - "

  
" - of the Tokyo O'Mishimas - "

  
Ryuji choked off a laugh and tried to remember to be quiet. He moved his hand up from Mishima's balls to his cock and gave him a quick squeeze, just to get him off guard. He saved the shaky little noise he made to his memory and moved his hand back down, cupping him again. "Yeah, and it's not like you got any bigger in the last few years - "

  
Mishima was indignant and almost too loud himself, all of a sudden. "Yes I did!"

  
"I meant your _height - "_

  
"What does that have to do with - " Mishima's whole body went stiff against him, realizing what he'd say next.

  
"I was gonna say, maybe you're a lep- "

  
"Shut _up - "_ Mishima hissed. But his breath had started to come out in little gasps, like he was trying not to laugh.

  
"How would you know, though? What if you _were,_ all along, and - "

  
"Agh - just - " Mishima took his revenge, writhing, but not like he was trying to get away. He planted his hands on Ryuji's knees, one on either side of his own legs, and used them for leverage as he leaned his shoulders forward and his hips back, grinding his ass against Ryuji.

  
His cock had already been half interested, and it didn't take much. He rested his hands on Mishima's hips as he kept it up, slow and steady. His ass felt a lot softer against him than he would have expected.

  
Ryuji liked it - actually, he _really_ liked it - but he couldn't leave it like that. "What - what're you doin', man?"

  
Mishima did this funny thing with his voice, like he was putting on a show of being mad while still smiling. "What do you _think_ I'm doing - " he said, gruffly, as he kept moving his ass against Ryuji's cock through their underwear.

  
He reached in front of them both again and ran the side of his thumb down the front of Mishima's tented briefs, making him stop immediately. "Dunno. Lapdance?"

  
Mishima, lightning quick, deadpanned, "Yup. Leprechaun lapdance."

  
Just as quick, Ryuji wrapped both arms around his chest, pulled him back up into his lap and deadpanned right back, "Hot."

  
They both spluttered laughter, struggling to stay quiet, until Mishima had to lean all the way forward again to bury his face into the mattress, letting out little high-pitched hiccups of laughter. Ryuji pressed his own hand to his mouth, gasping helplessly as tears ran down his face. "Fuck, man - "

  
"You started it!" Mishima whispered back, trying to sound furious. "Grabbing my dick and - and telling me I never got any bigger! Fuck!"

  
"I meant your _height - "_

  
"You are so full of shit - "

  
Ryuji wiped the tears from his face, let out one last gasp of laughter, and knelt upright, then draped himself over Mishima, who was still up on his knees and leaning his chest against the mattress.

  
This was even better. Now he could use his hands on all the spots he couldn't reach before. He liked the weight of Mishima's junk in his hand as they both leaned forward, and when he started to slowly knead his ass, Mishima let out such a cute little meep sort of noise that Ryuji had to bury his face against his neck to stay quiet.

  
Mishima started to raise himself up with his legs, just by a few inches, then back down, to pick back up where he'd left off. Ryuji had a better angle now, so he met him halfway, shuddering a little as the head of his cock pressed against his ass through their briefs.

  
He exhaled a long, slow breath as he finally withdrew long enough to shove his briefs down, his cock springing free and bringing a string of precum with it. Mishima flinched in front of him, and Ryuji felt his face go hot when he realized what he must have felt, so he took his mind off of it by putting his hands on Mishima's hips and helping him out too.

  
Mishima gasped, but he got back up on his knees, his elbows on top of the bed, and angled his hips to help him get his own briefs down.

  
It felt too good to just sink against him like that, chest to back, and keep himself upright with only his knees, leaving Mishima to take the rest of his weight. He groaned quietly as his cock throbbed, finally given the room to extend to its full length.

  
Mishima made some little noise, a hushed murmur, and the sound of it brought Ryuji back to himself. If that had been a lapdance before - "Whaddyou call this, then?"

  
"This?" Mishima laughed breathlessly. "I guess we're just - now we're just pretending, huh."

  
His face went even hotter as he realized the kind of pose they were in. Mishima twitched his hips below him, and Ryuj let out a rough sigh as he felt just where his cock was trying to go, as if drawn by a magnet. He was all drippy with precum, too, but Mishima didn't seem to mind a bit.

  
He must be too heavy, though. He started to back off when he realized he could hear Mishima - his breathing had gone ragged, and he reached behind him to grab Ryuji's thigh, yanking him forward until they were skin to skin again with a smack.

  
Ryuji laughed against his neck when he remembered something Akira had already told him. "You like being squished, huh?" he whispered.

  
Mishima must have had enough teasing. He struggled against Ryuji until he understood what he wanted and knelt upright to let him move. He shuffled around in the dark, facing him now, but Ryuji didn't get what he was doing until he felt Mishima's hands on his hips. "Get - get over here." Ryuji knew just what he'd look like, if he could see him: brows drawn down, but like he was determined, not upset.

  
They sat on the floor, Mishima's back upright against the mattress and with his knees up and spread apart to make room. Ryuji sat between them, trying to figure him out, until he felt Mishima's hands again. They circled behind him, one on the back of his neck and one on his hip to pull him closer as Mishima kissed him again.

  
It wasn't like before, on the couch. Now Mishima was in a hurry, starting to pant into his mouth and fumbling in the dark until he'd seized Ryuji's cock.

  
It was so much at once that Ryuji sucked in a breath and jumped. "Hey, just - " He found his wrist and closed his fingers around it lightly.

  
He sounded resigned. Maybe he thought it'd be the same answer as before. "You don't want... ?"

  
"Just. Just slower, that's all." It _was_ the same answer, in the end. Ryuji angled his head to the side and found his mouth again in the dark.

  
Better. Mishima let out a long, slow breath through his nose and eased back against the mattress behind him, making Ryuji follow until he was kneeling over him. He kissed him, trying to slow him down and show him what he still wanted at the same time.

  
He skimmed his fingers up his thigh, fumbled with the hem of the long tshirt, and slipped his fingertips over the edges of the head of Mishima's cock.

  
But Mishima broke off right away and started doing something with his arms.

  
"What?"

  
"I gotta get this off, or it'll just - "

  
"That close already, huh?" It was too easy to tease him.

  
Mishima growled and knocked his thigh into his side with a thump as he pulled the tshirt over his head. But he found his lips again as soon as he was done.

  
Ryuji slipped Mishima's cock into his hand again, and Mishima did the same for him. All the teasing must have had more of an effect than he'd thought, because one slow brush of his fingers down his length made Mishima pull his face away again. He tipped his head all the way back, resting it on top of the mattress, and whispered something.

  
"Huh?"

  
"Just - like that - "

  
Mishima had forgotten all about him, his fingers loosely curled around him but not moving, but that was okay. Ryuji knelt over him and held him in his hand, warm and solid, like his own but not, and gave him slow, steady strokes.

  
Mishima kept whispering, only half of it intelligible, though it didn't seem to mean much. "Yeah - yeah - " Something garbled that might have been 'Sakamoto.' More whispering. Something more like a breathy, hushed moan, barely voiced, and he grinned in the dark. That one was something to remember for later.

  
He started to pick up speed a little, still moving his hand pretty slowly. He was planning on working his way up to something quicker, something closer to what he liked - it wasn't as though he knew anything different - but suddenly Mishima's breath caught in his throat and his cock was pulsing underneath Ryuji's fingers. He felt heat spread on his hand, his legs, his _stomach_ \- "Fuck, man - " he laughed.

  
Mishima reached out blindly and gripped his thigh, hard, digging his fingers in - he was still coming, and Ryuji tried to focus on that. He stroked him through it and finally heard him sigh in the dark.

  
"Good?" Now he got why Ann always asked that, even when it had only been a dirty chat convo and not something they'd done in person. She'd just wanted to know if she'd done a good job. It did come with a certain sense of satisfaction.

  
He took a few seconds to answer. "Y-yeah." A few more seconds of just his breathing, still slowing down. "Sorry I just left you out, though."

  
"Heh. That's - " But now it was his turn. Mishima interrupted him with his hand and his mouth on his, simultaneously, with a confidence he'd never have expected.

  
When Ann had touched him like this, he'd been all anxious and unable to focus, and she'd given up on him pretty quick. When Akira had pulled him free of his briefs and given him a few strokes before going at him with his tongue, he'd been spaced out and unable to enjoy it - he'd barely even been able to register that it was happening.

  
Now might as well have been his first. Mishima kissed him slow and steady, just like he had been on the couch that afternoon, and worked his hand over Ryuji's cock like he knew just what he liked. Ryuji groaned into his mouth and heard him laugh back, an amused hum.

  
And he'd teased Mishima for it, but it looked like this was all going to be over for him just as quickly. He leaned into him, unable to focus on kissing back or being quiet or anything else, and let go.

  
_"Fuck - fuck_ \- ahh, _fuck - "_ he muttered as his balls pulled tight. He came hard, gasping, and when he came back to himself, he realized he'd half collapsed right onto Mishima, head hanging over his shoulder and chest pressed right up to his, with only enough room left between them for Mishima's hand, still holding him loosely.

  
A knock at the door.

  
They froze.

  
"It's _late._ You guys better turn in." Her words were mild, but his mom's tone didn't leave room for argument.

  
"Yeah, uh - we will - "

  
"Sorry - "

  
They held their breath until they heard her bedroom door close again at the other end of the hallway.

  
_"Shit - "_ they hissed in perfect unison.

  
"You think she - " Mishima whispered.

  
"No, or she would've - shit, maybe - " It didn't matter at this point. Cleanup was more important. He stumbled to the lamp, turned it on, and surveyed the damage.

  
Fuck.

  
Ann and Akira hadn't been exaggerating.

  
His floor wasn't too bad. It looked like he and Mishima had gotten the worst of it, and after Ryuji had leaned against him, he'd managed to spread it, too. Mishima just sat there on the floor, blinking up at him in the too-bright light as his face went redder and redder.

  
It was dangerous with the light on. His mom might take it as reason to come back and open the door, this time, so he went for the quickest cleanup possible. He snatched the white tshirt up from the floor where Mishima had tossed it and scrubbed it up and down his front, then paid his cock some attention, being only a little gentler. He flung it at Mishima, then wrenched up his briefs.

  
"Euugh - "

  
_"Hurry up, man - "_

  
"Okay, okay - "

  
He snapped the lamp off again before Mishima was truly finished - now was not the time to sweat the details - and dove under his covers. Safe.

  
His heartbeat was still hammering in his chest, but once it had slowed down a little, he was able to hear the little shuffling noises that meant Mishima was getting under the spare blankets he'd laid out for him in the centre of the floor.

  
"Aw, don't just - what are you doin' way over there?" Ryuji whispered.

  
"Sleeping?"

  
It was probably too risky to do it any other way. His mom had learned her lesson by now and didn't just barge into his room without warning anymore, but who knew. Maybe she'd want to say goodbye to Mishima in the morning, or something, after all the cooing over him she'd done during dinner.

  
So it probably wasn't the brightest idea to let him into his bed. But Ryuji could let him stay for a few minutes, as long as he went back to the blankets on the floor to sleep.

  
He tried to sound casual. "What if _I'm_ cold now, huh?"

  
Mishima figured it out. He slipped beneath the covers and faced away, keeping so much space between them that he must've been nearly falling out of the bed. Ryuji hooked his arm around his middle, yanked him backwards until his back was pressed to Ryuji's chest, and pulled his knees up.

  
"Hey, guess what?" Mishima whispered.

  
"What?"

  
"I'm finally warm now."

  
"I'd fuckin' _hope_ so, after all that - "

  
In the morning, his mom hammered on the door to get him up for school, same as she always did, and if he'd forgotten to kick Mishima out and had instead kept him pulled close the whole night, nobody had to know but him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, Japanese people. Sorry, Irish people.


	35. "You don't think we should?" Roommates. Catching up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately this fic will have to go on hiatus until I can catch up on chapters again. I've been working on Graffiti and some old WIPs instead. I'll definitely be picking it back up again, hopefully soon. Thanks for keeping up with it.

Ryuji saw his mom out the door and told her to have a good day at work, then breathed a sigh of relief. If she suspected anything about last night, there was no way to tell because she was keeping it to herself, and that would just have to be good enough for now.

  
The next order of business was to have a shower, but -

  
"Ain't you done _yet?"_

  
The water had stopped running, but Mishima still had the door closed. "Your hair stuff's different than mine - "

  
He wrenched the door open and nearly hit Mishima with it. He looked frustrated and had both hands stuck in his hair in front of the mirror.

  
"Better be done by the time I'm out, man. I need the mirror too." He yanked his tshirt over his head and threw it on the floor, then started unbuttoning his pants.

  
Mishima flipped, as he'd known he would. He went that red colour he always did and raised a hand as if to shield his eyes. Mishima'd put his pants back on after his shower but had left his shirt off while he did his hair, and Ryuji could tell he felt all anxious about that too by the way he was standing. "You can't just - "

  
"Oh, I can't? You sure?" Down to his briefs now.

  
"The _door's_ still open, your - " He lowered his voice in a hurry. "Your _mom's_ gonna see you. You just flash her at home? Usually?"

  
"She left." Ryuji shrugged and paused, just long enough to make sure Mishima had looked up at him, before dropping his briefs and grinning.

  
_"Sakamoto - "_ He looked ready to pass out. It was sort of satisfying to wind him up.

  
"Nothin' you ain't seen already, right?" he tossed over his shoulder as he got into the shower, laughing. "Caught you lookin' last night, when the light was on - "

  
"Oh, like you _weren't - "_

  
"Yup." He gave him a break and changed the subject as he fiddled with the taps. "Hey, if you leave the door open, the mirror won't get steamed up n' you can still use it while I'm in here."

  
Mishima sounded sort of sullen now. "Alright." He said something else, drowned out by the water.

  
"Huh?"

  
"Never mind."

  
By the time he'd showered, Mishima was still at the mirror. Ryuji toweled off and pulled his clothes back on, leaving his shirt off just as Mishima had. Mishima hadn't run away like he'd expected, but he was still very carefully not looking at him.

  
Ryuji sidled up behind him and took back his jar of hair product. Mishima was short enough that he could see himself just fine over his head, so they could share the mirror after all.

  
Things were weird now, though. "Somethin' wrong?"

  
He couldn't hide his face like this, though he clearly wanted to. By now Ryuji could read him like a book. Most of the time, anyway. Mishima leaned forward against the sink and ducked his head a little, but his expression could still be seen in the mirror. "No."

  
"Bullshit." He hooked his arm around his middle and pulled him closer again.

  
It was too close to the night before, maybe. Or he was still freaked out over being caught half dressed. Mishima let out an annoyed huff and escaped. Ryuji had the mirror to himself and finished off his hair alone.

  
Mishima had to come back for his shirt though. He bent at the waist to pick it up, still not looking him in the eye.

  
"We got a few minutes," Ryuji said. "C'mere."

  
It was difficult for him. He came up beside Ryuji, slowly, then stood in front of him, just as they'd been before, but with his shoulders up by his ears now. His uniform shirt was still in his hand, forgotten.

  
"You got a flat spot in the back." Ryuji searched his face in the mirror. "Want me to fix it?"

  
Mishima had himself all tied up in knots about something. He kept his eyes down but nodded. Ryuji worked on his hair and watched his face smooth out in the mirror. It made him keep at it for a little longer than he needed to, probably.

  
They didn't have all day though. "You don't think we should? That it?"

  
A sort of spasm crossed Mishima's face before he was able to hide it. He knew what Ryuji was talking about.

  
Ryuji took his hands back out of his hair. He'd made some big assumptions again. "We can - we can go back to - you know. The way we were before."

  
Mishima was looking up at him in the mirror again, worried. Now they sort of looked the same, actually. "I'm wondering what _you_ want," he said.

  
He hadn't exactly had a lot of time to think about it. This time he moved slowly, wrapping both arms around Mishima's middle and crossing them there. No annoyed huff, but Mishima wasn't relaxed, either. He was practically vibrating.

  
Their eyes met in the mirror again. Ryuji tried to smile but gave it up when he saw what it looked like. The way Mishima was feeling had rubbed off on him, maybe. "I liked this."

  
That wasn't enough. That could have just meant what they were doing on the couch, with all their clothes on, before they ever got into whatever kind of territory this was. Mishima waited.

  
"This, too." His first instinct was to just grab at him, like they'd both been doing last night, but that probably wouldn't help right now. He let his hand travel down until his fingertips brushed the top button of Mishima's uniform pants, then brought his hips forward until they were just barely touching there, too.

  
Mishima's face relaxed, but only a little. "Yeah?"

  
"Yeah." He grinned. "You got hidden talents, man." Mishima perked up, but then Ryuji ruined it. "You n' your - I can see why Ann picked you. You guys must -"

  
"It's not like that," he snapped. "It's not about - "

  
It wasn't like he had a lot to go by. Ryuji was lost. "Then tell me what it _is_ like. Tell me why you're all fucked up over this."

  
"I'm _fucked up,_ now?" Mishima twitched his shoulders until Ryuji let him go.

  
His mouth always got him into trouble. "No! Just - talk to me. I don't get you right now. That's all I meant."

  
Mishima looked at him in the mirror for what felt like a long time. Then he drifted toward the bathroom doorway and stayed there, leaning against the doorframe while he looked out at the rest of the apartment, just giving Ryuji his back. Like he couldn't decide if he wanted to leave or not.

  
Ryuji put his hand on his hip, just his hip, but that was a mistake too. "You don't - you don't just get to - " Mishima stammered. He sounded _furious._ Ryuji let his hand fall away.

  
"What?"

  
"You don't just get to fuck around with me when - when Ann's busy, or not around, or whatever, okay? You can't just _do_ that with me and Akira and, and be like that, and then - and then go on and on about how straight you are." He left the doorway and pulled on his uniform shirt in the hallway, then made sure his hair was still in place.

  
He felt like someone had just decked him. "What?" he said again.

  
Mishima just went to the door and started pulling on his shoes. Apparently he did want to leave.

  
"Hey hey hey - "

  
Now Mishima was zipping up the grey hoodie he'd borrowed from Akira.

  
There were too many things he had to fix with him now. Everything was moving too fast. "Just _stop_ \- please - "

  
Mishima kept his shoes on and stood there by the front door. One wrong word and he'd be gone.

  
He must have gotten something wrong somewhere. He'd made too many assumptions, or he'd misunderstood, or something had changed. "You said - I thought you n' Ann weren't exclusive - like you're dating, now, but I thought - "

  
"That part's fine."

  
"And you said - like, you were fuckin' _excited_ when I told you about what happened at Akira's, on Saturday - "

  
"That part's fine, too," Mishima said dryly.

  
He'd fucked things up in some other way, then. He backed up until he hit the arm of the couch, then sank down onto it with his elbows propped up on his knees. Mishima was upset because -

  
_Oh._

  
His face must have shown it, that he'd gotten it. Mishima nodded.

  
He was straight. He'd always been straight - it was just one of those things you didn't have to think about. Last night didn't change that. It was just...

  
Mishima had this stony expression on his face. Ryuji realized that in all the time he'd know him, he'd never seen him truly angry - not at _him,_ at least. Mishima had been mildly annoyed with him, or exasperated when he'd gone too far while teasing him. But never really mad. And if Ryuji thought hard, there'd definitely been some shit he'd pulled that would have deserved it, back in middle school. But Mishima had always been pretty forgiving.

  
Maybe it wasn't about being forgiving, exactly.

  
"D'you like me, Mishima?" Ryuji asked quietly.

  
Mishima picked up his school bag, turned around and put his other hand on the doorknob. But then he just stopped and stayed like that.

  
"Come back."

  
He did.

  
\----------

  
Kawakami went through the motions of being displeased with him for being almost forty-five minutes late and interrupting her lesson, but Mishima could tell her heart wasn't really in it. He sat down at his desk and gave her a few minutes to get back into it before he risked checking his phone.

  
He had a handful of messages from Akira and Ann. Some of them were from last night, when he'd stayed the night at Sakamoto's, and there were more from this morning. As he was checking them, they started up on him in their group chat a minute or two after they must have seen him pick up his phone. He kept his face turned away from their side of the classroom, but he could still feel them looking at him.

  
ANN: good morning Ryujiiiii ;)  
AKIRA: When did you switch classes?  
RYUJI: huh?  
ANN: you look a little different though  
ANN: hmm. can't put my finger on it  
AKIRA: Why'd you lose the blonde? I liked it.  
MISHIMA: Yeah, yeah. So funny.  
ANN: Akira, I think we might have a case of mistaken identity here  
RYUJI: the fuck are you guys talking about?  
MISHIMA: Ugh. I'm bringing my own product next time.

  
He'd probably sent that message a little too hastily, in hindsight. 'Next time', huh.

  
ANN: hey  
ANN: where'd you go last night? usually you're on pretty late

  
Mishima kept a strategic silence, waiting to see how Ryuji would frame it.

  
RYUJI: he stayed the night at my place.  
RYUJI: sorry, man. guess i'm not hairdresser material.  
AKIRA: It's not bad.  
ANN: it's not... terrible  
AKIRA: But you just turned him into another you?  
ANN: yeah except his hair is longer. I've never seen it go straight up before lol

  
He really wasn't in the mood for it this morning. He propped up his textbook in front of his face and hid behind it, just reading their convo and not typing as he rested his chin on his forearms.

  
AKIRA: Maybe we'd better do some fixes during the break, Mishima.

  
He'd gone silent for too long.

  
ANN: you okay?  
ANN: tired?  
ANN: your hair's not that bad. it's just different  
RYUJI: i guess i have something i should say.  
RYUJI: if i'm in.  
ANN: I wasn't talking to you, but okay :P  
RYUJI: like, maybe don't pass it around.

  
Mishima waited for a long minute or two, just as Ann and Akira did.

  
RYUJI: but i'm bi. i guess.  
RYUJI: whatever.  
ANN: heh  
ANN: this is my shocked face :O  
RYUJI: you can just fuck right off.  
ANN: ouch  
ANN: you're both pretty grumpy this morning, actually

  
Mishima was typing before he could think better of it.

  
MISHIMA: It's hard. Don't tease him.  
MISHIMA: You're straight. You probably don't get it.  
MISHIMA: He didn't have to tell you, you know.

  
He risked glancing at the two of them, a few rows over. Akira looked solemn, but Ann looked outright shocked.

  
ANN: you're right  
ANN: sorry Ryuji. I shouldn't be shitty about it

  
She was still typing, but Kawakami tapped the top of his desk with her nails on her way by, so he put his phone away.

  
\----------

  
Things still felt a little chilly by the end of the day, mostly between Mishima and Ryuji. Mishima had told Akira they'd had a fight that morning, though that was the extent of his explanation. Ryuji had taken to eating lunch with them in 2-D most days, or they'd all sit together elsewhere in the school, but today he'd stayed in his own classroom.

  
When the bell to signal the end of classes rang, Mishima was already typing into their group chat, trying to catch them before they separated.

  
MISHIMA: Are you guys free today?  
ANN: yeah. no shoots lately  
AKIRA: I can make time.  
MISHIMA: Ryuji?  
RYUJI: me?

  
Akira traded a look with Ann, twisted around in her seat. Ryuji should have known he was included by now. Something was up.

  
RYUJI: yeah, sure.  
MISHIMA: Can we all come to Leblanc, Akira?  
AKIRA: Yeah, we can do coffee.  
MISHIMA: I think we have some stuff to work out.

  
That sounded almost ominous.

  
\----------

  
It was awkward on the train to Yongen, too, though Ann especially tried to fill in the silence with chitchat, doing her best to talk to Ryuji and Mishima individually since they were suddenly so opposed to talking to each other. Morgana poked his head out of Akira's bag and chatted, too, clearly enjoying their company even if they could only answer him in the most basic fashion, and that gave Akira the usual small pang of guilt. Morgana was sensitive about being excluded, but if Mishima wanted to talk about what he suspected, Morgana was going to have to make himself scarce once they made it to Leblanc just the same.

  
He sent the others up to the attic ahead of him and then walked right back out the front door of the cafe.

  
"Akira?" Two small paws jutted into his shoulder as Morgana stood on his hind legs inside his bag, trying to see where they were headed.

  
He wasn't going far. He continued down the alley and stopped after only twenty feet or so, then set his bag down with care until Morgana got the idea and leapt out. They were in a quiet alcove enclosed by a low concrete wall, hopefully out of earshot of passersby.

  
Akira gave Morgana a rueful smile.

  
Morgana knew the drill without being told, now. He laid his ears back and made a disgusted noise. "I'm getting really sick of being shipped off to Futaba's, you know."

  
He wished there was a better solution. "Yusuke, then? I'm sure he'd hang out with you for an afternoon."

  
"Akira, his dorm _stinks._ I don't know how he can stand the, the turpentine fumes or whatever it is. I can't breathe in there."

  
"Makoto?"

  
"Her sister kicked me out last time!" He narrowed his eyes, indignant. "I can't help it if I shed."

  
"Well, Haru, then? You like her big fancy house, don't you?"

  
It wasn't her house. Morgana was especially close with Haru herself. He looked tempted for a moment, but then he sighed.

  
"You'd really take me? It takes almost an hour on the train to get to her house, you know. And an hour back. You should've asked her at school."

  
Akira felt badly enough that he nodded, reluctantly, despite the inconvenience. Kicking Morgana out every time he wanted privacy on the weekends, and excluding him from even his and Mishima's comparatively innocent hangouts during business hours just because they might talk about something he'd be embarrassed to have Morgana overhear, had never felt right. But there really wasn't a better solution.

  
Morgana hung his head. "I guess I won't ask you to do that, when you've already got everybody over and waiting for you. I'll - I'll just go hang out with Futaba."

  
He still felt guilty. Maybe he could tell him a little more. It might help him understand. "Do you think we ask you to leave... just because?"

  
He lashed his tail. "I think I can figure out what you do with your - your _boyfriend - "_ Akira thought he didn't especially dislike Mishima anymore, so it might have been nothing more than simple embarrassment that made Morgana react this way when it came up. Morgana was not always as mature as he pretended to be.

  
Akira kept his voice low. "And Ann and Ryuji?"

  
Morgana didn't have a good reason prepared this time. His whiskers drooped, his feelings clearly hurt.

  
His face grew warm. It wasn't something he really  _wanted_ to talk about with Morgana, honestly. "There's stuff that Mishima and I... do... that you wouldn't want to be around for. And. Uh. Ann and Ryuji, too." That was only kind of the truth, but it seemed close enough.

  
Morgana's eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head, the pupils narrowing to slits as he thought about it. "While the cafe's open?!" he squeaked.

  
"No!" Akira had let his voice get too loud - he looked like he was talking to himself, after all. He lowered it to a near-whisper. "I meant they wanted to talk about it, today."

  
A look of horror as Morgana's tail began to lash again. "Ewww - "

  
This had been a huge mistake. "I didn't mean _dirty talk,_ I meant - Morgana, I'm talking about the relationship part of it. They want to talk about _that."_

  
"Is this a human thing? A thing humans... do? I thought - you know - I thought you were supposed to get _one_ boyfriend. _One_ girlfriend." Akira knew that if Ryuji were present, Morgana would never have asked such a question. He was supposed to _be_ human, after all.

  
He tried to think of the quickest way to wrap this up and make a cat in a dirty alleyway understand his love life. "Mishima is my boyfriend. Ann and Ryuji are. Uh. My friends. But we still might talk about stuff you don't want to hear." He was starting to feel desperate. "You _really_ don't. It's for your own sake, Morgana, seriously."

  
"Tch. Fine." Morgana turned to go.

  
"Roommates need privacy sometimes, right?"

  
It looked like he'd finally hit upon the right thing to say. All at once Morgana's whiskers were at attention again, pulling his muzzle into a feline smile. "Hey, I guess we are roommates! That sounds kind of cool." He'd said 'cool', but what he really meant was 'grownup'.

  
"Thanks, roommate." He was laying it on a little thick, maybe, but it worked.

  
They parted ways in front of Leblanc, and Akira knew that as soon as Morgana spoke to Futaba, he'd be using the word 'roommate' as soon as he could.

  
\----------

  
Akira brought three coffees and one glass of Coke on a tray up the stairs to the attic, wondering what he'd find this time. Months ago, he'd asked Ann and Mishima to keep their hands to themselves while the cafe was still open, though Ann hadn't always listened. To be fair, he and Mishima sometimes skirted the line while they were alone, too. Adding Ryuji to the mix could mean trouble, and he tensed, preparing to lay down the law all over again.

  
He needn't have worried. Things were still too awkward for that to be a problem, apparently. Mishima and Ryuji had chosen chairs, and Ann had claimed the couch, each seated an equal distance from one another.

  
He settled in next to Ann. They thanked him for their drinks, and an uncomfortable silence fell. Usually, when the four of them got together at lunch or after school, they became loud enough that he often couldn't get a word in edgewise, so this silence felt even more out of place.

  
He cleared his throat. "Maybe we should catch each other up, first." He put on his best sly grin and aimed it at Ryuji, though he didn't much feel like smiling. Sometimes you had to pretend a little. "I had Ryuji over on the weekend."

  
He'd picked Ryuji first, hoping that he'd lighten the mood, but the face he made looked more grimace than smile. "Yeah. I, uh. I guess that time should've been my first clue."

  
Mishima was giving Ryuji a sympathetic look. They must've already talked about it, since Mishima had stayed the night with him. Ann was practically bouncing next to him on the couch, though. "Did you guys - ?!"

  
Ryuji looked like a different person with such a grim expression on his face. "Yeah. Kind of."

  
She wasn't stupid. She could read the room. Ann settled down and matched his sombre tone. "Something wrong?"

  
He watched Ryuji give Mishima a pleading look, and Mishima continued for him. "It's hard. He thought he was straight, until now. I stayed the night at his place, yesterday, and - "

  
Akira stretched out his arm and yanked Ann to his side, hoping she could contain herself, but when he turned his head to look at her, he saw such a clear conflict of emotions on her face that he nearly laughed at her. "Then you two - too? But that's a _good_ thing, right? You guys are... ?"

  
It looked like they hadn't talked out all of this part yet. Mishima and Ryuji gave each other matching lost looks. "Dunno," Ryuji admitted. "Maybe it was a one time thing."

  
Now Ann was twisting to face Akira on the couch, and this time she only looked happy. Her eyes flicked to Mishima, then back to him. "We have news too."

  
He hadn't been expecting anything new between the two of them. "Geeze, we've all been busy, huh?"

  
She couldn't keep it in any longer. "We're dating! We - I told him I love him, and... "

  
Akira smiled wide and crushed her to his chest until she laughed in his ear. He'd hoped things could go this way for them months ago, when Mishima had confessed his feelings to Ann, but hadn't expected anything like it by now. Apparently Ann's feelings had just been a little delayed. "I'm so, so happy for you."

  
Her mood had shifted again. Now she sounded much more subdued. "Is it okay?" she murmured, still hugging him.

  
"Of _course_ it's okay."

  
"But, I mean. He's my boyfriend now. Too. You might... you might see him a little less often, I guess." She withdrew to gauge his face. "You won't be jealous?"

  
If anything, he felt whatever the opposite of jealous was. Warmth spread through his chest, and he couldn't wipe the smile off of his face. "No. I won't be." He hugged her again, tight, until she giggled and slapped at his back to fend him off.

  
His coffee was starting to go cold. They all picked up their drinks for a moment, and Akira could tell that Ann's news had broken the ice a little. Ryuji still looked pretty stressed out though.

  
Akira nodded at him. "Ryuji, it's not so bad. We talked about this on Sunday. Kind of. You wanted in, right? Now you're in. Really really in."

  
Ryuji rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah." He was still uncharacteristically quiet. "I just. I never thought I was - you know. I didn't have to think about it, and now I do." He laughed at himself. "And - I went from nothing to, to _everything_ in like a week, not that long ago. Like. Ann n' me kinda rushed, I guess."

  
Akira half expected her to make some kind of jab at him, but she cut him some slack. This time, at least. "Aw. Ryuji. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so impatient."

  
"S'okay. You didn't push me. Or, like. We pushed each other. I pushed myself."

  
"We can stop," she said carefully. "Like, you've been with both of them now, too. Maybe, um." Akira knew she was trying to avoid offending him. "If you felt like you _had_ to, with me, maybe you're actually... " She trailed off.

  
Ryuji flared up anyway, as expected. "I'm not _gay,"_ he spat.

  
"I'm not _accusing_ you - "

  
"Making out with a dude don't undo what you n' me did - "

  
Mishima had probably never seen them squabble in person. His eyes were round. "Geeze, you guys." He turned to Ryuji. "Listen, it doesn't have to be a thing, okay? I'm not - I don't expect you to come out to your _mom_ or something. I just can't - " He sighed and sank back into his chair. "I can't mess around with you if you're just going to pretend it's something else."

  
Ryuji saw his opportunity to take the focus off of him and took it. "Mishima told me he likes me," he announced to the room.

  
Akira and Ann traded looks with each other, communicating their complete and utter lack of surprise. Akira grinned. "You couldn't tell?"

  
Ryuji shrugged and wouldn't say anything further.

  
But now Ann looked concerned again. "Is that going to be a problem, though? Yuki, when you told me you loved me, months ago, and I didn't, I - "

  
Mishima looked annoyed. "But you didn't _have_ to leave. I told you. It would've been fine, even if we didn't match up. We still could've."

  
Akira had his doubts about how well things would have gone, if Mishima had involved himself with Ann while harbouring feelings for her that she didn't share, but kept them to himself.

  
Ryuji kicked the leg of Mishima's chair, making him jump. "Enh. We'll figure it out, man." Then he gave him a crooked grin. "Like, you don't fuckin' _love_ me or whatever. You're just after my dick. Right?"

  
Akira and Ann both burst out laughing, but Mishima looked offended. "No!"

  
"You _do_ love me, then?"

  
_"No_ I don't _love_ you, geeze - "

  
"Coulda fooled me - "

  
"You - you gave as good as you got, _Sakamoto - "_

  
"Aw, I was just warmin' you up. You were cold, remember?"

  
Mishima was openly fed up with him now. Obviously they hadn't quite worked everything out yet. He went back to the subject that Ryuji had tried to deflect from. "You _get_ why I got mad at you, though, right? I'm not - I'm not gonna let myself do that, with you, if you're just gonna pretend it doesn't matter. We don't have to _date_ or whatever but if you can't even call it what it is - "

  
Ryuji's face had gone beet red. The jokey facade he'd put up was gone, and now he looked a little chagrined. He beckoned Mishima to him and Mishima went, slowly, as if expecting a trap of some kind. He resisted a little, but let Ryuji pull him into his lap, his back pressed to his chest.

  
Ryuji crossed his arms around Mishima's waist. "Sorry," he mumbled into his ear, just barely audible. "I get it."

  
Mishima nodded but said nothing, staring ahead at a spot on the floor and clearly self-conscious of Akira and Ann staring at them.

  
Ryuji looked like he felt the same way, but knew he needed to get out the words. They came out in a rush, his voice still low. "It's a self-respect thing, right? You, uh. You like me, you said, 'n you _want_ to still - with me - right? But if I keep sayin' I'm straight, it - " He was hoping Mishima would fill it in for him so he wouldn't have to say it, but no such luck. "It hurts your feelings? I guess?"

  
Another nod from Mishima, who twisted to give him an almost violent peck on the cheek before he escaped to his own chair again. Ryuji jumped at the sign of affection and looked away, still redfaced and embarrassed.

  
Ryuji let out all of his breath and went boneless, flinging back his head and almost sliding out of his chair. "Fuck," he groaned. "This shit is hard."

  
"It's not all team meetups," Akira said quietly.

  
Ryuji was still staring at the ceiling. "I sorta thought it _was,_ I guess. I thought it was just fucking, if you guys ain't in love or whatever. Weren't. S'got more feelings junk than I thought it would."

  
Ann turned to smile at Akira on the couch and surprised him by taking his hand. They'd kept their hands to themselves for months, more or less, until today. "Isn't it better that way, though? It's like friends but - but better."

  
He smiled and squeezed her fingers. "Yeah." Then he remembered something he'd barely heard. Something Ann had said a couple minutes ago. "Hey, did you call him Yuki?" He cocked one eyebrow at her.

  
Her face lit up, beaming at him and nodding emphatically. "That's another thing!" She twisted to face Mishima, and Akira and Ryuji did the same. They all looked at him expectantly.

  
Too much. Without answering, Mishima slipped out of his chair and flopped onto Akira's bed facedown so he could hide.

  
Ann joined him first. She sat with her back against the wall up by Mishima's head and started playing with his hair. "It's a _happy_ thing. Don't be embarrassed."

  
Akira came next. He sat next to Ann, his back supported by the wall and his knees drawn up over Mishima's back, feet planted flat on the mattress on his other side. "I get to call you Yuki too, now, right?"

  
Ryuji didn't want to be left out, especially now that the pressure was on someone else. "Hey, yeah. You guys've been dating for months. You 'n Akira, anyway. You're seriously still on last names?" He grabbed Mishima's ankles and bent his legs at the knee, sitting crosslegged where Mishima's feet had been and keeping his hands where they were, just holding his legs so his feet remained in the air.

  
"It's... a thing. There's a reason," Akira explained. But it wasn't his place to tell it for him.

  
All eyes were on the back of Mishima's head. The silence stretched out until he sighed and turned his head just enough to speak and be heard. "Kamoshida thing," he mumbled, finally.

  
"Got it." Ryuji wasn't going to push him. "Oh, but - me, though? I asked you to call me Ryuji years ago 'n you wouldn't do it even then. We hung out all the time, but - "

  
"That's because - " Another long silence. "I liked you," he said, his voice hard to make out. "And. If I kept us, you know. Not-close, then it wouldn't hurt. When we hung out. There wouldn't be a chance of anything, and I wouldn't get my hopes up."

  
Ann and Akira looked at each other, each trying to figure out what to say. But Ryuji didn't put that much thought into it. Akira had to hurriedly lift his legs out of the way so Ryuji could sit on Mishima's ass, his knees on either side of his waist. Ryuji grabbed Mishima's shoulders and leaned close so he could hear him. "You're always all twisted up, man. You don't gotta torture yourself." He laughed as Mishima started to kick at him with his socked feet.

  
"You're squishing me - " But he was trying not to laugh.

  
"Just - just tryna take your preferences into account - "

  
"Oh _shut up - "_ Now he really was laughing, hard, and they all attacked him. Ann pulled his gunky, overly-gelled hair, closing her fist in it until she'd lifted his head from the mattress, and Akira took Ryuji's old spot, grabbing Mishima's ankles so he couldn't kick Ryuji in the back anymore. Ryuji just perched on top of him and put his hands up Mishima's shirt, splaying his palms on his lower back and leaving them there.

They laughed until Sojiro came up the stairs and told them to keep it down, "or at least fight fair." They each froze, a matching guilty expression on each of their faces, and returned to their individual seats.

  
Mishima, Akira noticed, remained where he was for a few moments, his face red until he hid it again.


	36. Dating. Friend shit. "You don't have to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see! Five whole months without an update. If you are (understandably) a little fuzzy on the details and need a recap, [Chapter 28](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12791595/chapters/33403677) would be your best bet rather than rereading the whole thing. Chapter 28 covers when Ryuji stays the night at Leblanc with Akira.
> 
> That being said, a reread is not necessarily needed. But it might help refresh your memory if you've only read that chapter back when it came out in April.

Ann ran into Ryuji in the hallway at lunch. He gave her a big crooked grin, sank against the wall between two banks of lockers, then cozied his hip up to hers. "Hey."

  
It made her suspicious. She still wasn't used to this from him, especially in public. When _she_ started it, she knew how it would go, but when he came to her, it was a tossup. This could be genuine or this could be a setup for an insult of some kind. "Hey."

  
He trailed his fingertips around her waist and left them on her hip, the one not pressed against his. "You free this weekend? Or did Mishima beat me to it?"

  
Just that, then. She let down her guard. People were staring, but since they always did anyway, it was easy to ignore them. "I am, but. I'm out of commission."

  
At least he had _some_ sense. He grinned and whispered in her ear. "He break your ass this time?"

  
She leaned close too, keeping her voice down. "It'd be the other way around, if anything - "

  
His face lit up like Christmas. "I _heard_ about that - fuck, Ann - "

  
So much for that. "You're so _loud - "_ she hissed. She touched his wrist and took out her phone.

  
ANN: I'm free, but I'll be on my period by then  
RYUJI: nasty.

  
She kicked out her leg and swung the heel of her boot down to the shin of his good leg. It made a satisfying _thock_ noise. The growl he made was satisfying, too.

  
ANN: then be nice :)  
RYUJI: well i was gonna offer to come keep you company. don't think i will, now.  
ANN: aren't you and Mishima...  
RYUJI: akira too.

  
He began to enter some more text but left it unsent for long enough that she peered over his shoulder to see what the holdup was. He deleted it in a hurry and typed a new message.

  
RYUJI: i guess.  
RYUJI: kind of.  
ANN: oooh right  
ANN: we have Things to Discuss laterrrr  
ANN: but it sounds like you've got options  
RYUJI: not if they hook up like they always do on the weekend.  
ANN: well fuck me then, huh?  
RYUJI: aw, don't be like that.  
RYUJI: i mean. i'd like to. lol  
ANN: nah. it's fine. see who else is available. I'll just hang out

  
He shrugged next to her and gave her a quick kiss before a teacher could come by and chew them out, then headed back to his classroom.

  
\----------

  
After school, Ryuji tried to pay attention to Mishima. He really did. Something something manga, something something Phansite. But he kept getting lost in thought.

  
The four of them were waiting at the Shujin station, and he knew he should have been making better use of his time with them. They all got to be in the same class, but he only saw them at lunch, the end of the day and, lately, on the weekends. Now Akira was trying to tell him something, something funny that Futaba had said or done, but it was hard to keep track of that, too. He was too busy thinking about how things had changed.

  
Ann liked him. Akira liked him. Mishima liked him, and had liked him for years and years by the sound of it. It was weird and flattering and too much to figure out, sometimes, but other times it was just... really really nice. The fucked up whiskey thing with Akira had been a little scary. A lot scary. But they'd worked it out, after, just like they'd worked out the crossed wires thing, and now it was okay. And he'd been stressed out at Ann's, too, when he'd spent the weekend there, but now that was okay too. It didn't have to be all the way every time he saw her. He didn't have to figure out new ways to impress her. He could just slink up close to her in the hall and give her a kiss, and he could fuck with Mishima's hair when he saw him at lunch, and he could trade dirty jokes with Akira in their chat without having to worry about going too far or showing too much of himself. They'd already seen it all.

  
It was all... comfortable. He didn't have to worry about going too far because there was no too far, not anymore. But he also didn't have to push himself. They'd gone really fast with him, all three of them, they'd said so themselves, but now he knew that it didn't have to be that way. It was okay if he slowed down, because they'd wait for him.

  
Ann crashed into him, yanking him back into the present, and slung her arms around his neck from behind. He braced his legs as she hopped up into a piggyback and settled her thighs into his waiting hands. "You're such a _zombie_ todayyyy," she whined.

  
He pretended to stumble and pitched forward, like he was about to fall. "You got bricks in your pockets or what?"

  
She made a disgusted noise in his ear. A disgust _ing_ noise in his ear, in fact. "You better go back to the gym if you can't even pick me up." Then she kissed him quick, on his eyebrow, before slithering back down his back and onto her own two feet.

  
He had a nice dig about her weight all lined up and ready to go, something about how the settings on the equipment at the gym only went so high, when he pulled back. It almost made it out of his mouth anyway, at the last minute, but he kept it in.

  
Mishima grabbed one of his own dangling suspenders and whipped Ann in the leg with it, just lightly. Just a little snap to make her squeal. He'd have done it first if he'd thought of it. "You wanna get crepes with me?" Mishima asked.

  
That was just _begging_ for him to say something, now. He almost thought Mishima had set him up on purpose, but the next time he looked over, Mishima was just chatting with Ann like normal, making plans for the afternoon.

  
He held his tongue again. Ann had been nice to him. Nicer than she used to be. He could try to be nice too.

  
Now it was Akira who sidled up into his field of vision, touching his forearm to make sure he had his attention. "Sounds like they're booked up. You wanna - "

  
Suddenly there was this furious scrabbling from behind Akira's shoulder as Morgana flopped around in his bag and half leapt out of it, hanging his paws over the front of Akira's blazer. "I am _not_ going over to Futaba's again. Nope. Nuh unh. I _refuse."_ Like he was the boss.

  
He'd decided to be a little nicer to Ann, but that didn't extend to the cat. He stuck out his tongue, just to see his little kitty face scrunch up like a butthole, and laughed at him.

  
Akira flashed him a devil grin that was just for him, there and then gone, even as he listed out Morgana's options in a diplomatic sort of voice. "Well, if it isn't Futaba, it's gonna have to be Haru, up on the roof and out in the cold, or Makoto, in the student council - "

  
"Makoto," Morgana said quickly, and dove into the bag again, waiting to be airlifted to his next destination.

  
"I didn't even say yes, yet, y'know." It was just for show, though. Like he'd really say no. Like his afternoons were all full up. _Lemme see if I can pencil you in, man._

  
"You're right. Sorry." Akira did look the part. "I was just gonna suggest a DVD or something, at Leblanc. Nothing, uh. You know. During business hours."

  
_"I can still hear you,"_ Morgana squalled, muffled inside Akira's school bag.

  
He'd said he wanted to slow down, and Akira was doing his best to listen. It made him feel weirdly pleased, like he was being catered to. Like it only took the tiniest sign that Akira cared what he thought for him to feel all warm inside.

  
Maybe that was pathetic. He had no idea. But he did know that he liked the idea of DVDs just fine. Something small and safe, instead of whiskey and hurtling toward the finish line like his ass was on fire.

  
"Yeah, sure. Sounds good."

  
He hung around the train station for ten minutes or so, giving Mishima and Ann a wave as they headed out on their date - was it a date? Did they call it dating, at this point? He thought about it some more as the two of them got on the train together, leaving him to wait for Akira to get back from the cat handoff.

  
It felt strange to have to wonder about it, but. Did he have two boyfriends and a girlfriend, now? Was he all of a sudden dating three people, or was it still none? He'd gone over to Leblanc to hang out with Akira before the kissing (good) and the head (not so good) had happened, and now he was headed there again, _after_ it had happened. Where was the line? Was this friend shit or boyfriend shit?

  
Thinking back to the way their chat had gone - friend shit, dirty jokes, friend shit, Ann's ass, friend shit, fucking _dick pics_ \- made him realize that there hadn't ever really been a line. Not one he could look back at and remember stepping over. He'd asked to be let into their secret clubhouse, sure, but things had started getting weird even before that. There'd been no "do you want to be more than friends, y/n" checkpoint.

  
Well. Maybe there had been. With Ann, anyway. He'd had the long heart to heart with her, when she'd been torturing herself over her thing with Mishima, and he'd felt so puffed up about someone coming to _him_ to talk - asking _him_ for advice, holy shit - that he'd barely registered the change he'd felt inside as she'd put her hands on him and dug the knots out of his leg. Or when she'd thrown her hoodie around his shoulders, grinning and lunging close, _really_ close, before settling back down on her side of the couch. Or when she'd said he was smart. It was like a little switch had been flipped.

  
But that was friend shit. It could have been friend shit, at least, but... He finally realized that at least with Ann, he actually could point to the before and after. With Ann there was the heart to heart on his couch, like friends did, sometimes, and then after that, weeks later, there was the study thing, when he'd said she looked nice. That was the line. Before the line there was talking. After the line there was the _other_ thing on his couch, the thing where they'd both taken their shirts off, and that definitely hadn't just been friend shit. More kissing (bad), and she'd let her tits out (good). And then things had just ticked along after that, well into more-than-friends territory. Dirty pics, check. The thing in Mementos, half hot and half disastrous, when he'd busted her ass, right after, and then the weekend at her house right after that. Almost no time at all between any of it, like it was all out of his control.

  
Was any of that how it was supposed to go, if you were dating?

  
But she'd said she didn't want to be his girlfriend, too. So what the fuck was this called, then? It wasn't just hooking up or friends with benefits or any other name he could come up with. Yusuke and Futaba were his friends, too, but he didn't talk to them like he did with Ann, Akira and Mishima. Even when it wasn't dirty shit, it had gotten way closer than just friends.

  
Akira was back, cat-free and with a big grin on his face, like he was happy to see him after a whole ten minutes apart. This time it wasn't so hard to put his thoughts to bed and just focus on what Akira was saying while they waited for the next train.

  
\----------

  
He'd sort of forgotten that going to Leblanc meant seeing Sojiro again, though.

  
"Hey."

  
"Uh, hey, Boss." Ryuji hunched his shoulders up by his ears for protection and hunted for a booth, hoping to find a corner where he wouldn't be in Sojiro's line of sight, but no such luck. Leblanc's tables were full, so he had no choice but to slide into a chair at the bar while Akira got his drink ready.

  
Sojiro was fiddling with one of the coffee makers, the things that had always looked like mad scientist equipment to him. Bunsen burners and beakers or some shit, like in science class. But then Sojiro looked up, right at him. "Hope you're not looking for a repeat of Saturday, kid."

  
His heart just about seized up right there, and he shot up in his seat. "N-no?" he squeaked. How the fuck did Sojiro know what he'd gotten up to with Akira on Saturday night? Did Futaba have Akira's room bugged after all? Did _Sojiro_ have Akira's room bugged? And - and now he was picturing all the shit they'd done on Saturday night, of course he was, the good and the bad, the kissing and all the fucked up scary whiskey bullshit -

  
Oh. The whiskey.

  
He relaxed his shoulders and put on his respectable face. His Good Kid face. "We're not gonna - no. We won't. We're just gonna watch DVDs."

  
Sojiro looked like he was putting on a face too, one he couldn't figure out at first, and now he finally noticed that Sojiro'd been swiping his rag over the same little spot on the bunsen burner coffee maker for the last minute or so. "Good." Another swipe with his rag. That coffee maker was spotless. "Good."

  
He'd walked into some kind of bizarro backwards opposite world. Sojiro -

  
A grin tried to surface on his face, but he shut it down just in time. Sojiro didn't know how this was supposed to go. Sojiro didn't know how to handle this. Sojiro was _uncomfortable._

  
That was a weird idea though, and not just because the idea of Sojiro ever not knowing what to do didn't seem to fit. Ann and Akira had already told him about how Sojiro had caught Mishima drunk in the cafe, that one time. And on Sunday morning, after he'd stayed the night, both him and Akira'd been hungover - still drunk, maybe. Akira'd called the curry a hangover cure, right in front of Sojiro, like it was a regular thing.

  
So Sojiro had to've had some kind of a talk with Akira about the drinking before. He knew about it, at least. Was it just that he hadn't had to talk about it with anybody else, yet? Did Sojiro just feel iffy about giving somebody else's kid shit for it? It was probably different when it was a kid you weren't technically in charge of. Sojiro did the gruff voice and the face to match, and Ryuji'd overheard the probation speech more than once, but maybe, in the end, Sojiro didn't want to scare away Akira's friend. Akira's... whatever he was now.

  
They were stuck in an awkward standoff until Akira picked up on it and told him to go on ahead and wait for him while he finished their drinks. So he gave Sojiro a nod, got one back, and scurried upstairs.

  
\----------

  
He might've said something about it, the Sojiro thing, but the temperature of the attic drove it right out of his head.

  
It was winter now, or getting there, so it'd been cold outside. The cafe had been warm enough, but the attic - "Fuck dude, how d'you even sleep in here?" He huffed, then did it again, trying to see if it was cold enough to make his breath show up. On Saturday night he'd been warm enough - too warm, really - but now it was freezing in here.

  
Akira dumped his bag, then headed straight to the corner, the one with the plant, and started fucking around with something on the floor. "Yeah, I know. Sorry," he said, without turning around. "Give it a minute."

  
He heard a sputtering sort of noise, and when Akira stepped aside, there was the oldest kerosene heater he'd ever seen. Straight out of a real boring museum. "Holy shit."

  
"Yeah, yeah. Warm, though." Akira slipped his shoes off, then half shrugged out of his blazer before he changed his mind and kept it on. "Eventually, I mean."

  
Akira was busy setting the chairs up in front of his dinky TV, but it was still too cold for Ryuji to even think about focusing on a DVD. He kicked his runners off, set them aside by the wall and got down on the floor with his new best friend instead. "Ahhhh."

  
He heard an 'mm' behind him, a verbal shrug, and then Akira joined him on the floor, sitting under his little indoor tree like he was a panda in a forest or some shit. No, a jungle cat. The heater kicked off dense, dry heat, powerful enough to make him take off his purple jacket after a minute or two. Orange light, too, just the right colour to make the heat feel even warmer. He got comfortable, sitting crosslegged so he could bake his socked toes, and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes.

  
"Your tree don't mind the heat?" Maybe it was like a Christmas tree, and all the leaves would come off later.

  
He heard Akira snort. "It's not a _tree."_

  
He noticed that Akira did not fill in what it _actually_ was. He cracked one eye open and grinned at him.

  
"It's a - houseplant."

  
"What kind?"

  
Heh. No answer. Akira never liked to admit that he didn't know everything, even if it was just dumb shit that didn't matter. He shut his eyes again and let it go.

  
The heat was turning him into a puddle. He was too warm and comfortable to pick on Akira properly, so he just basked in the orange warmth like a burger under a heat lamp.

  
He heard the snap of a camera. His eyes popped open. "What, was I makin' a stupid face?"

  
Akira shrugged, staring at his phone. "No. It's a good photo." Rather than lean forward and stretch his arm out over the heater to show him, Akira just stuck the photo in their group chat instead. Lazy. He pulled himself together just enough to pull out his own phone.

  
MISHIMA: You look like you're in hell? Lol.  
RYUJI: nah. heaven. i don't gotta share the heater with morgana.  
MISHIMA: Akira has like a hundred photos of him curled up next to the heater. He's really cute.

  
Blegh. He kept his opinion of the cat to himself and changed the subject.

  
RYUJI: still eatin crepes?  
ANN: coffeeeee  
ANN: too cold to line up outside for crepes

  
Apparently that made Akira remember their drinks. He got to his feet again and fetched them from where he'd set them down, on top of the table at the head of the stairs.

  
Akira had a coffee, like usual. His loss. Sending ice cold Coke down his throat and cooling down his insides while his outsides cooked felt weird but good. Like they were back in Hawaii, or the beach, instead of just Tokyo in the winter. He put his drink down, closed his eyes and settled in again.

  
Honestly, being in Akira's room felt a lot better than he'd thought it would. Some deep down layer of him, below the thoughts he could hear clearly, had been worried that the dicey feelings from Saturday night would come back. Like they came with the place instead of the circumstances. Like he'd be safe and things would be cool with Akira as long as he only saw him anywhere but here.

  
But no. This was firmly friend shit. All their clothes were on. Akira had a coffee, like last time, but the whiskey was staying hidden in the box on the shelf. Akira's bed was just over there, a few feet behind him, but they weren't going to even go near it today.

  
Safe.

  
Why did he keep thinking that? Akira wasn't... _un_ safe. Akira was just Akira. So it wasn't Akira himself, really. It had to be something else.

  
The heater did its best to help him out with the silence, making friendly little ticks and sputtering sounds, but then those stopped too as it warmed up the rest of the way. Now all he could hear were the customers downstairs, chatting about dull shit, and somehow that kind of sound made the silence feel bigger, not smaller. He opened his eyes and caught Akira staring at him.

  
Before, if he'd caught Akira looking at him, he'd have made some kind of joke about how hot Akira thought he was, and they'd both laugh about it. Now, he smiled awkwardly and looked down at his phone.

  
Ann and Mishima had put some selfies in their chat too.

  
AKIRA: How could you cheat on me?

  
Drama queen. He rolled his eyes.

  
MISHIMA: What??  
ANN: ugh shut uppp  
ANN: Leblanc's too far  
AKIRA: I can't believe you'd go to someone else to get what you need.  
AKIRA: Is their coffee as good as mine? Tell me. I can take it.

  
Friend shit. It was just comfortable again. He uncrossed his legs and stretched them both out until they were in a V around the heater, warming up the insides of his knees and calves instead of his toes for a change. Akira moved around a bit too, shifting his legs and finally shrugging out of his blazer.

  
RYUJI: sorry man.  
RYUJI: they replaced you.  
RYUJI: look, they ain't even drinkin coffee.

  
Akira met his eyes over the heater and grinned, then put the back of his hand to his forehead and made a ridiculous anguished face, pretending to sob silently.

  
AKIRA: HOW COULD YOU.  
RYUJI: aw. you guys can work things out.  
MISHIMA: Morgana's my son now. Sorry.  
MISHIMA: Wave goodbye to your old dad, Morgana.

  
Apparently they hadn't worked things out.

  
ANN: yup. we just finalized our divorce  
AKIRA: Excuse you? Your son? Your stepson, you mean.  
AKIRA: At least I still have custody on the weekends.

  
That made him laugh, and Akira joined in, a little. Morgana was in the custody of literally anybody _but_ Akira on the weekends, at least lately.

  
RYUJI: wait who's married? you n ann or you n mishima?  
RYUJI: yuki i mean.  
AKIRA: Yes.  
AKIRA: But that's all in the past now...  
ANN: it's just an act anyway. it's an act for the divorce guy. the divorce judge  
ANN: Akira's not sad. he's already moved on

  
This was getting confusing.

  
RYUJI: nah. he's stuck in the past. he's still drinkin coffee.  
MISHIMA: Nope. I don't mean the coffee.  
MISHIMA: Introduce us to your hot new FLING, Kurusu.  
RYUJI: oh shit. you got demoted...

  
Akira laughed at that, hard, and nodded like he'd heard it before.

  
AKIRA: Hmph. Ingrates get nothing.  
AKIRA: I've already shown you all you're gonna get.  
ANN: psht  
ANN: Ryuji asleep by the heater. oh wow. oh boyyyy  
ANN: I'm so wet  
MISHIMA:  >_>  
RYUJI: don't have a stroke dude lmao

  
Then he figured it out. "Wait, what? I'm the... fling?"

  
Akira was grinning again, and he nodded, but then his face changed like it'd been wiped clean. "Oh, uh. Just in the chat. You know," he said quickly. He almost looked sort of guilty.

  
ANN: I have pics to tradeee  
AKIRA: Uh, photos of you guys cheating on me in a competitor cafe are not as alluring as you think they are.  
AKIRA: Sorry. No deal.  
MISHIMA: Nope. She showed me some. These ones are from last night. You'll like them.  
ANN: well. uh. maybe he won't, I guess  
ANN: maybe Ryuji would like them though

  
He'd wondered for a while why Ann and Akira hadn't started hooking up again, now that the whole thing with Mishima was set straight between the three of them. Maybe there was a reason.

  
ANN: but they don't come cheap! pay up boys  
MISHIMA: SHOW US THE BEEF.

  
This wasn't friend shit. He was supposed to be here to watch DVDs. Being in Akira's room was getting less and less comfortable by the minute.

  
They kept telling him that he was... in. That was the word they used. The secret club, the arrangement, the weird sex thing the three of them did that felt like more than just fucking around. The four of them, now. Akira'd said the dirty chat was his invite, but that he hadn't had his initiation yet. Akira'd been joking, or he'd thought he'd been joking, but -

  
On the other side of the heater, sitting across from him, Akira looked uneasy. But sort of expectant, too.

  
He liked guys. He'd be an idiot to keep denying it at this point, after the way things had gone in his bedroom after Mishima had slept over. After the way things had gone years back, too.

  
But it was different. Mishima was safe.

  
RYUJI: sorry guys. leblanc's still open, so.  
RYUJI: beef store's closed.  
ANN: awwww  
ANN: just. lift up your shirt a bit. just a peek  
MISHIMA: Yessss.

  
That wasn't so bad. He'd been worried they wanted more than that. And it was kind of flattering to have two people begging you for photos. Three, if the way Akira's eyebrows shot up as he read what Ann had typed was any indication. He could take one little photo of his chest, or whatever it was Ann wanted to see so bad.

  
He lifted up his tshirt and Akira looked, real quick, then made himself scarce. "I gotta change," he mumbled.

  
His camera made the photos look crazy orange from the light of the heater, just like Akira's had. Hell selfies. He took a few, praying Sojiro wouldn't pick that moment to come check on them - did he come up here, ever? It'd never happened while he'd been over before, except for when they'd all been making a ton of noise tackling Mishima, but he still felt paranoid about the lack of a door, so he made it quick. He picked the best one and dropped it in their group chat.

  
ANN: aaaaa so good  
MISHIMA: Your abs look really nice when you're sitting like that. ;)  
RYUJI: you didn't get to see em much, huh?  
ANN: why're you so sweaty lol  
MISHIMA: Why're you complaining?  
ANN: yeah okay you're right. he looks all oiled up or something  
ANN: Beef Magazine. Beef Monthly

  
Why was he okay with Ann and Mishima looking, but not Akira? He was still standing a few feet away in the centre of the room, pulling his Shujin turtleneck over his head, and that was weird too. _Akira_ was okay with him looking at him while he changed. He hadn't told him not to. He could've stood anywhere but the exact centre of the room. But the idea of Akira looking at _him,_ even just with his shirt pulled up, made him nervous.

  
Without giving himself time to think it over, he deleted the photo from their group chat before Akira could get back to his phone.

  
MISHIMA: Aw, where'd it go?  
RYUJI: sorry. it came out bad. i'll do a better one later.  
RYUJI: maybe after i get home.  
ANN: well. maybe it's better to do this later anyway  
ANN: mmmaybe I shouldn't be sending you guys titty photos while we're in a cafe lol  
MISHIMA: It is pretty crowded...  
MISHIMA: Actually maybe we better go. We've taken up a booth for a long time.  
ANN: ugh you're too nice  
ANN: you're probably right though  
ANN: ttyl

  
Before he could think of anything to drag out their chat longer, Mishima and Ann were both gone, and then it was just him and Akira, sitting across from him and wearing the same loose black shirt and drawstring pants that he'd been wearing on Saturday night.

  
God. He was being so fucking dumb. It was just the whiskey that'd made him feel like that. Akira'd apologized a bunch of times, that night and the morning after, too, and it was pointless to keep the same feelings around. So he turned his back on them and tried to smile at Akira over the heater.

  
Akira'd had a chance to read their chat. "You do look sweaty. Your face, I mean." If he was curious about where the photo had gone, he kept it to himself. Instead he glanced over at the two chairs he'd set up by the TV. "I've got X Folders and The Running Dead if you want... ?"

  
It'd be cooler over there, but. The chairs were pretty close to Akira's bed, where they'd done some shit he still didn't know how to feel about on Saturday night. Closer than that to the couch, too, where Akira'd gotten all up in his space in the dark, his footsteps so quiet that he hadn't known he was there until Akira had touched him.

  
He could tell himself that it was dumb to feel like this all he wanted, but that didn't make it go away.

  
It was too hot by the heater, and he knew it was weird of him to come over just to sit in the corner and stare at his phone. It felt like it was weird of him, anyway. But it also felt like dipping his toe in instead of diving into the deep end headfirst, so he shook his head. "Nah. Sorry. Guess I don't feel like scary shit today."

  
Him and his big fucking mouth. Akira looked grim, then looked away.

  
What was wrong with him? This wasn't what he'd come over for. What, should he just get up and leave? He could. Akira wasn't holding him here.

  
And - and Akira wasn't going to fucking _attack_ him, or whatever. He realized he was pinning the scary whiskey feelings on him, and that wasn't fair. The spacey thing was linked to his dad, somehow, and the whiskey'd brought it out of hiding, even though it was from years ago, but Akira didn't know shit about that. It was just. A thing that had happened. It was nobody's fault.

  
And Akira was his buddy. Akira was more than his buddy, now, and he didn't regret that part. Technically. The part in the dark, later, when Akira had told him he was a good kisser. He just needed to cut this thing in half - chop, like a guillotine - until the thing with Akira and the scary whiskey thing were firmly separated instead of being all mixed together.

  
His body moved before his brain knew he'd decided to do it. He lifted himself up with his hands and crabwalked around the heater, careful not to bump it, until he was sitting next to Akira. Until they were both crosslegged and their knees were almost touching, in fact.

  
"If Morgana's your son, does that mean he's got two dads and a mom?"

  
Akira let out a funny, choked laugh, surprised, and turned the heater off. "Uh. That makes the Lady Ann stuff extra bad, I think."

  
"Agggh, gross," he said, delighted. He hadn't thought of that. "Fuckin'. Epidus thing."

  
That was the way to Akira's heart. "Oedipus complex," Akira said, smiling because he'd been given a chance to show off how smart he was.

  
Akira'd shut the heater off. The only logical thing to do, now that the room, and this corner especially, were heated up to oven temperature. But he stayed where he was, sitting on the floor, crammed in next to Akira and a houseplant, and Akira didn't say another word about DVDs.

  
Akira went in a different direction instead. "Morgana's got _three_ dads and a mom, if anything," he said pointedly.

  
"No thanks." He wrinkled his nose. "What, you think that's enough? What we did? I didn't know what I was gettin' into, then, if Morgana's part of the deal."

  
He kept putting his foot in his mouth. Trying to joke but landing too close to the truth. He really _hadn't_ known what he'd been getting into. And now he'd brought things back around to this, again.

  
They were close together, right now, side by side, and Akira didn't look him in the eye. Instead he stared straight ahead at the heater, or maybe at the banister of the stairwell leading down to the cafe. "You don't have to," he said quietly.

  
"Have to what?"

  
"You don't have to - to get into it. You don't have to make yourself. That's what you're doing, right? That's why you're - " He frowned, searching for the right word. " - uncomfortable?"

  
It _wasn't,_ though. That was the thing. Being with Ann and Mishima at the same time was so comfortable that he kept trying to figure out where the line between friends and more than friends was. He kept forgetting that it wasn't a thing that he'd always just... been in.

  
No, _that_ was the thing. In.

  
He stared straight forward too. "I want to, though. I want to be in it. In this thing. You guys's... thing."

  
"Okay, but. I meant that you don't have to make yourself with _me._ Isn't that the reason? You think if you don't want to do things with me, you'll be... out?"

  
Putting all of this shit that had been simmering under the surface for days and days out into the light felt both like a relief and like he was making it worse. But Akira'd asked, so. "Ain't that how it is?"

  
He turned his head to look at Akira's face, then wished he hadn't.

  
_"No._ Of course not."

  
"Don't 'of course not' me. C'mon, man. This is a weird thing you're doin'. We're doin', I mean. Don't talk like I should already know how it works."

  
Akira sighed. Then peered at his face, and this time he was the one to keep staring straight ahead. "Ann and I haven't done anything in months. It could be like that between you and me. You'd still be in."

  
If it was out in the open, he might as well ask. "How come you don't, anymore? You 'n Ann? If her 'n Yuki can fuck while you're the one dating him, how come - ?"

  
Akira shrugged and didn't answer. Then he twitched his knee like he'd been poked and changed the subject back. "And like. You know what that feels like? Hearing that you think you have to _make_ yourself?" he asked. Suddenly he sounded furious. "It feels like _shit._ It - it makes _me_ feel like shit. So don't do it."

  
It had all been under different circumstances, and he'd only heard about it secondhand, but suddenly he remembered what Ann had told him a few weeks back, about the bad week Mishima had had. About how he'd been in no shape for it, but had tried to make himself with Ann and Akira anyway. This wasn't like that, not at all, but Akira'd been thinking about it, he figured. It didn't take a genius to see it.

  
He bumped his shoulder into Akira's. "Sorry, man."

  
"Why're you - _I'm_ sorry," Akira growled. "This - this was supposed to be DVDs. Seriously. Not... this."

  
Akira was all over the place. Pissed off and sorry and maybe sad, too. And it wasn't that Akira was wrong. He _had_ been thinking what Akira'd just said, sort of, without being able to put it into words. But it wasn't as bad as that, either, because he was all over the place too. He didn't want what they'd started getting into on Saturday night, but that was because the whiskey and what it had done to him - only him, not what it had done to both of them, he was coming to realize - had given most of what had happened that night a nasty feel to it. It made it feel mean.

  
He'd been too outside himself to like any of it, but after the whiskey had receded, Akira'd made room for him in his bed, and he'd crawled in under the covers. Akira'd talked to him, and given him all the time he'd needed, and when he was ready, Akira'd kissed him.

  
Him and Akira kept running into problems over signals. He just acted like he always did, and somehow Akira saw all these signs where he didn't think there were any. Unspoken shit. These signals, or not-signals - crossed wires, Ann had called them - had made them have a giant fight on the top floor of Mementos, and then they'd made up, and then the exact same night there'd been all this shit with the whiskey. More signals, or not-signals.

  
He was getting pretty fucking sick of it, honestly. It didn't have to be that hard. He balled up all the stupid shit he'd been worrying about all afternoon, set it aside, and leaned in close. He kissed Akira.

  
Akira made a funny noise, like he was taken off guard but was happy about it, too. Pleased. He turned his head, then his shoulders, and kissed him back.

**Author's Note:**

> I post Persona 5 fanart to Twitter and talk about fanfic a lot here: https://twitter.com/araforreal
> 
> Come yell with me about P5!


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